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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A62493 The Three merry wives of Green-Goose Fair, with them for mirth none can compare, or, A pleasant discourse of three merry-cummers being full of delight and pleasant wit, the merriest book that ever was writ. 1694 (1694) Wing T1104A; ESTC R24627 8,293 18

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The Three Merry VVIVES OF Green-Goose Fair VVith them for Mirth None can Compare OR A Pleasant discourse of three Merry-Cummers Being full of delight and pleasant wit The merriest Book that ever was writ Printed in the Year 1694 The Preface IN the dayes of old when men were little boyes And pretty Maids delighted in fine toyes About that time in the dayes of yore I pen'd this story never pen'd before Fetcht from the satchell of Antiquitie Blame me not if I chance to tell a lie For 't is so old that I that pen'd the same Can hardly tell from whence the story came Some say in the bottom of the sea 't was found A fortnight since my Gransires Mare was drown'd Some say it was in the belly of a fish Found on a fasting day in a Friers dish And in the sweet bag of a Humble Bee And so my Authors cannot well agree But 't is not so for in a cup of Wine I found it scattered by the Muses nine And after cast into Parnassus Well But how it was hookt up I cannot tell Nevertheless there 's many a silly elfe Doe think that I invented this my self Well let them think their pleasure I 'le proceed But have a care and laugh not when you read For fear you strain your eyes and they run o're So being blind you never read it more The three merry Wives OF Green-Goose Fair. I Know not when but three blyth wives there were That took their journey into Green-Goose fair One had unto her husband a Shoemaker She lov'd the Brewer better then the Baker Another had a Corn-cutter O strange An active fellow known at the Exchange A Carvers Wife the other woman was A verie merrie lustie bonnie lass These three to Green-Goose fair did take their way Onlie to be merrie as some say Walking along they found a Diamond Ring Pleasure with profit is a gallant thing All saw it at one time but she that did Take the Ring up did seem for to forbid The other two to claim their shares in it Covetousness had taught her so much wit The other two had vow'd to have their shares In this same Ring or fall about her ears When she saw them so hot she told them this To have the Ring divided 't was amiss Quoth she before the Ring shall be divided I had rather yeild the cause shall be decided By the next man they meet they were content So onward of their journey then they went The next man that they met was a chaste Frier Onelie he burn'd a little in desire In fiery zeal tovvards a holy sister And vvhensoever he met he kindlie kist her Creept from the Cloister leaving his Devotion All that he novv did seek vvas for Promotion He sought to be admitted vvillinglie A grave Confession of a Nunnerie But O! it could not be and vvhat of that He vvent vvithout a morsell for his Cat But since he mist his Opportunity He vvalks abroad to fish for other fry Meeting with these three women by the way He was the first did act the Comick Play Well met faire woman quoth the Fryer then Good morrow quoth the women honest man O how the women wronged him fie for shame To call him honest man was not his name He thought they jeared him and began to smile Yet he was very patient all that while Good Master Fryer quoth the Carvers wife Do justice now and save a womans life You must be Umpire Sir in this our cause O seek to save me from those Tygers clawes I found a Diamond Ring and these two Sluts Have sworn and vow'd that the 'l rip up my guts Unlesse they have shares in this same Ring Now I have told my tale judge of the thing The Frier understanding of the matter Did cheat the one and with the other flatter But yet he found that he small good could do For he in pleasing one displeased two He to the Carvers wife bore some good will The Ring she had he bad her keep it still 'T was musick in her eares but presently It prov'd a discord in the Harmony The other women stamp curse and swears As loud as thunder in the Friers eares And calls him balde-pate sillie Coxcomb vain That was so partiall in a cause so plain The Frier half afraid but would not shew His fear to them for fear that they should grow More cholerick but speakes them ●verie fair As being loath to lose such dainty ware Blaming himself that was so rude and dull As not to satisfie them to the full Withall he kindly promis'd that rude rout That he would bring the business so about To tell them and it should be plain exprest Which of them did deserve the Ring the best They were content why then quoth he 't is so That I must lie with every one of you At severall times appoint the time and place And I will finish them all in little space The woman then that puts me in most fear Doth best deserve the Ring away to bear And be not doubtfull what will follow after With that they all burst forth into a laughter Nevertheless they being covetous Were all contented that it should be thus Whispering together then a little space Shall we quoth they yeeld for to be so base Well if we do ly with this balde-pate Sim We 'l keep our honestie and punish him Women look to the thing ye have in hand The bargan is made the Frier will make it stand A Frier is a dangerous knave at put Then have a care and keep the wicked shut O you have need be wise and look about you For you have lust within and knives without you But now there rose a new combustion great The Frier he had us'd a strong deceit To wheel them in and greatlie they complain'd Musing how they should keep themselves unstain'd But yet the Ring although of value small Makes them adventure honestie and all Ere they would lose it they would lose their lives So they must needs go whom the Devil drives But there they held a counsell in the field Yet never a woman was there that would yeeld To be the first should lye with Frier Sim Untill at length they took advice of him For to draw lots this counsel pleas'd them all On the shoe-makers Wife the lot did fall She blushing like the Damask Rose in June Sayes Frier if it must be come thou soon But yet not so the morning is the best I 'le pause upon it when I take my rest My husband he goes forth to morrow morn But 't is not thou shall make him wear the horn When he is gone then at the window knock I 'le open door though I be in my smock And let thee in and kick thee out again After that thou hast laboured long in vain And put thee in such fear that thou wouldst give A Kingdom if thou hadst it but to live Remember then thy words think on this thing He