something to it before Prayer often exhorting his family to a reverend demeanor of themselves in the worship of God and would be much troubled when he understood or discerned any thing to the contrary Once a week for the most part he did catechise both Children and servants either out of the Assemblies or his own Scriptural Catechism and explained it to them And once a fortnight if not diverted by urgent occasion he went over some principle of Religion opening and explaining it in a Catiehistical way which his Children and Servants were to give him an account of the next fortnight and when they had so done he proceeded to another principle and thus he did from time to time What sermons the Youth of the family heard upon the Lords day or at any other time they gave an account thereof to him as they could remember He kept private days of Humiliation with his family as often as he could gain opportunity for it on which days he would if not prevented deal particularly with every one or as many as he had time for that was under his charge about the matters of their Souls And took care that all in his family should call upon God and Pray to him in secret as well as be present at family duty And when any of his Brethren came to vsit him He was not willing to let them depart without Prayer His Family was an house of Prayer These his labours in his family God blessed and succeeded to the Spiritual good of several that came under his roof He was most tenderly conscientious in keeping holy the Sabbath day whereof he was a strict observer and took care that all under his roof should do the same He kept a very severe watch not only over his words and actions but his very thoughts also Quickly reflecting thereon not only when vain and sinful but when impertinent to the holiness and duty of the day whereof he hath left the following testimonies April 29. 1666. My heart was much out of frame upon the Lords day full of vain and Sinful thoughts As I was going to prayer in the Afternoon alone God brought to remembrance Ps 40. 12 17. Innumerable evils have Compassed me about mine iniquities have taken hold upon me so that I am not able to look up yet the Lord thinketh upon me This was a stay to me Apr. 4. I went forth on several occasions None of them succeeded The first Contrivance of that journey was cast into my thoughts on the Lords day in a time of prayer I laid it aside till Monday and then considered further of it and saw it convenient for the best ordering of my affairs But not humbling my soul for those contrivances so unseasonably arising in my mind I was crossed in them Hereupon I determined for time to come when any thoughts or contrivances about ordering my affairs were cast into my mind on Lords days or on other days in time of holy duties to lay them aside till a more convenient time and if upon deliberation that way of ordering my affairs seems best which was cast into my mind in time of holy duties I would not hereupon neglect that way lest Satan should get advantage of me but I would first humble my Soul for its wanderings and suffering such thoughts to arise so unseasonably and took to Christ for pardon of the irregularities of my heart and then not fear to order my affairs in that way that seems most agreeable to reason and neerest the rule of Gods word though the Contrivance was first cast into my mind at an unseasonable time Having a letter of Spiritual advice and Counsel to write to a friend and having no spare time but on the Lords day to do it I was doubtful whether I might spend some part of that day on such imployment As I was musing on my bed what I had best do that Scripture came to my mind Rev. 1. 10 11. I was in the Spirit on the Lords day and I heard a Voice saying what thou seest Write in a Book and send it to the seven Churches Whence I Concluded it to be Lawful to write as well as read hear meditate and discourse of spirital matters on the Lords day His Charity had no less measure than the rest of his Graces which he accounted one of the best characters of a Christian Lamenting sometimes the divisions among Professors of religion he would say He did not value a Christian by his great knowledg and eminent parts but by his great Charity and Love to his Brethren This he extended to various Sorts of objects as Towards those who were at difference one with another He was an industrious peace-maker offering himself to interpose to make up the breach taking journeys when at distance in order to it Towards those that had difference with himself about worldly concernes from which he was not altogether free though altogether innocent when he suffered wrong by any his care was that they should suffer none by him or his either in word or deed always practising himself and counselling others to do good against evil He would make the best construction that was possible of the words and actions of his adversaries often making mention of that Scripture 1 Cor. 13. 5. Charity thinketh no evil Towards his Friends his Friendship was hearty ingenuous faithful and open He received them into his house gladly entertained them liberally conversed with them cheerfully sympathised with them in their afflictions affectionately and served them as he had occasion industriously Towards those that persecuted him and others for Conscience and Religions sake he observed the command of Christ Math. 5. 44. He affcctionately pitied them and prayed for them daily And when he heard any passionate expressions against them for their violence and unrighteousness he would be offended and charge people to pray more earnestly for them and seek opportunities to do them good Towards those that dissented from him in the matters of God he had a Spirit of meekness and forbearance embracing all with Christian Love whose practice did not destroy their profession of Christianity Colchester was a very divided place when he was called thither upon the account of diverse persuasions yet he so behaved himself with all humility modiration tenderness Brotherly kindness aad Charitable judgment that they were generally united in their respects and esteem for him And though he could not with Satisfaction to his Conscience conform to all that the Law required yet he judged many that did to be very Good men and had a real Honour for them Towards the poor and such as were reduced to streights and difficulties in this world he was pitiful and bountiful He devised liberall things and drew out his Soul to the hungry In the exercise whereof he observed our Saviours rule Math. 6. 1 2 3. This indeed was one of his secrets which he always industriously concealed as much as he could Yet variety of objects bare
witness to him The Widow the Fatherless the Stranger the Sick the Sufferers have all been refreshed from his compassions Though he offered to Preach freely at St James's Church in Colchester on Lords day Mornings as hath been before mentioned not desiring or expecting any reward yet the civility of the people did gratifie him for his pains The greatest part of which I am assured from an hand privy to it he distributed to charitable uses And this I read under his own hand Nov. 1. 1665. I made a Vow to God to give him the tenth of all that he should give unto me the ensuing year That which occasioned me to vow this Vow was the reading Gen. 28. which fell out that morning in my ordinary course where I observed that most of those blessings which Jacob mentions as his inducement to his Vow God had given me He had vouchsafed me his presence he had graciously preserved and kept me from my Enemies and the noysome pestilence he had given me bread and Raiment I added Pro. 3. 9. Honour the Lord with thy Substance and with the first fruits of all thine encrease I Considered also that what I gave to God should be fruit abounding to my account Phil. 4. 17. Math. 25. 34 35 36. I considered which way I should give it to God and I saw from Prov. 19. 17. that what was given to the poor was given to God Especially what was given to the poor Saints and members of Christ Math. 25. 35 40. And as to the Suffering Ministers of Christ I determined to bestow part of what I had dedicated to God on them and that though they were not brought to such extremities as not to know how to Subsist I was moved thereunto by Phil. 4. 10 11 14 18. The Apostle Paul was not in such want but that he knew how to live comfortably and contentedly yet he saith the Philippians did well in Communicating with his afflictions and tells them that their Charity towards him was an odour of a sweet smell a Sacrifice acceptable and well pleasing to God Towards the Church of God in General his indefatigable Labours in Preaching and Writing his frequent Fastings and Humiliations his fervent and wrestling Prayers for the peace of Jerusalem his affectionate sympathizing with her in her Sufferings are the undeniable Testimonies of his Love His own Liberality and stirring up of others thereunto for the Education of such poor Schollars as were hopeful for the work of the Ministry is the effect of the same Principle To which must be added his Last-will and Testament wherein out of pure zeal and Love to the Service and Enlargement of the Church he hath bequeathed the greatest part of his well furnished Library even the choicest and most valuable of his Books to Gonvile and Caius Colledge in Cambridge with five Hundred pounds to be laid out by his Executrix in purchasing a Free-hold Estate or Impropriation to be setled upon the said Colledge for the maintenance of a Schollar and Fellow there successively for ever Providing that such only be Elected thereto as are poor or Orphans or the Sons of poor Ministers of the best and most hopeful parts obliging them to the Study of Divinity and the Ministerial work taking special care that such be well grounded and established in the Orthodox Faith the true Reformed Protestant Religion and in case any such Elected shall become corrupt in Doctrine or Scandalous in life then after due admonition and Non-Reformation his place to be declared void and another to be chosen in his stead and none to enjoy it longer than twelve years Besides which he hath also bequeathed in Case his only Daughter shall die before she shall accomplish the Age of one and twenty years Twenty pounds per Annum to be setled upon the Colledge in New England for the Education of a Converted Indian or any other that will learn the Indian Language to be a Minister and go to Preach the Gospel to the poor Indians Nor was this the first expression of his pious regard to that remote part of the world for when he heard of that wasting Fire that laid so great a part of Boston in N. E. in Ashes he sent thither freely to be distributed among the Sufferers a considerable quantity of his Books Entituled Counsel to the Afflicted which he had wrote upon the occasion of the Burning of London Beyond which he hath also given Twenty five pound to Charitable uses Which bequests he hath made yet with all due respect to his Family not in the least declining from the kindness of an Husband or the tenderness of a Father so ordering his Charity to others as withal securing to his Widow and Fatherless Child not only a necessary and Competent but even a liberal and plentiful Subsistence reserving to them the Rent of what he hath bequeathed to the Colledge during their Natural lives Hitherto the Reader hath had an account of this Eminent Saint given him for the most part from those Acts and Exercises of his life by which he was visible to the discerning and judicious eyes of those that knew him We shall now proceed to give a further account of those his own observations and experiences of himself through which we may look into the very frame and temper the thoughts and affections of his heart some of which he hath thus recorded His Observations and Experiences Jan. 10. 1653. In reading of Calvins Institutions I met with that place in Isa 44. 3. Upon the reading whereof having been the the night before under Conviction of the emptiness and barrenness of my Soul and some despondency of Spirit thereupon I conceived some hope and found my Soul lifted up towards God to wait for and expect the shedding abroad of his Spirit in my Soul seeing he had said he would pour it out upon the dry ground but alas the lively sense of this was but momentany it was soon gone and my old deadness of heart returned upon me Hence I observe that it is of singular use both for the Establishment of true and discerning of false Comforts to see upon what grounds our Souls take in and upon what grounds they let go their Comforts The letting go of our Comforts oftimes proceed from our letting go of the promises When Satan can prevail to beat us off from the promise he will quickly rob us of our Comfort I find that at several times I have been kept under doubts and fears and jealousies and yet have had no Scripture grounds for them so that I perceive they proceedeâ— from Satan darkning my heart and keeping me in unbelief and trouble of Spirit Feb. 16. My Soul being dejected because after long wâ—iting upon God for the fulfilling of his Covenant in giving his Spirit and carrying on the work of Faith and Sanctification with power it had found no sensible in-comes when I was reading the Scripture according to my usual Custom the Lord did rebuke the despondency of
fire This Victory was won by Christ t is worn by us It was dear to Christ t is cheap to us It cost him labour and pain and sorrow and sweat and blood but it is given to us we overcome not by expence of our own blood but by the blood of the Lamb. What then shall we render to the Lord Shall we give him less than a Song a Song of thanksgiving especially when we can give no more O ye that are the redeemed of the Lord whom he hath ransomed from the power of the grave send out your thoughts a while into the Land of Darkness and take a more exact view of the triumphs and trophies of Death which it hath erected over the Vanquished Sons and Daughters of men that have fallen under its power Look into the prison of the Grave where the bodies of the slain are holden under Chains of Darkness reserved to the execution of the Great day Consider the poyson venom sharpness and power of the deadly sting that is entred into their Souls strengthened with all the plagues and Curses that are writtten in the book of the Law of a righteous avenging and Almighty Judge the worm of Conscience gnawing the Soul as well as the worm of Corruption feeding on the body Hark what are the hideous Cryes and woes and wailings the roarings and yellings the gnashing of teeth and bitter lamentations of the wretched prisoners captivated under the insulting Enemy and then recall your thoughts to the solemn meditation of this happy word the glad tidings of the Glorious conquest and Resurrection of Jesus Christ in fellowship with whom you are rescued from the cursed power of this Death and Hell and made heirs of the grace of life of life eternal And if you have any sense of the Infinite love of God and his compassions towards you of the incomparable labours and sufferings of Jesus Christ for you of the unspeakable misery from whence you are redeemed and the glorious Immortality to which you are intituled and whereof you shall be possessed Your meditations methinks cannot but issue with the Apostle's in this greatful pathetick and triumphant doxologie Thanks be to God who giveth us the Victory through our Lord Jesu Christ FINIS ERRATA Pref. read Curriculum vitae page 7. l. 9. r. affect and. l. 19. r. shining p. 18. l. 28. r. Dr. Tuckney p. 27. l. 18. r. may p. 28. l. 18. r. means and l. 2. r. on the week day p. 32. l. 3. r. Jesus Christ p. 34. l. 9. r. the strongest p. 44. l. 21. r. worthy of p. 45. l. 4. r. being p. 57. l. 19. r. visit p. 59. l. 1. r. look to Christ p. 61. l. 5. r. moderation p. 69. l. 27. r. send p. 73. l. 24. r. hear p. 75. l. 15. r. separated p. 63. l. 20. r. hides p. 99. l. 2. r. if A Catalogue of Books Printed for and Sold by Tho. Parkhurst at the Bible and three Crowns at the lower end of Cheapside 1. A Word to Sinners and A word to Saints the former to awaken the latter to direct and perswade 2. Christian directions to walk with God all the day long 3. Principles of Christian Religion Explained to the Capacity of the meanest with Practical Applications to each Head whereby family Catechising may be with much ease performed 4. The young mans Guide through the Wilderness of this World to the Heavenly Canaan 5. The surest and safest way of Thriving which is in being Charitable to the Poor all five Written by Tho. Gouge Minister of the Gospel Ars Sciendi sive Logica nova methodo disposita novis preceptis aucta Self Employment in secret containing Evidences upon self examination Thoughts upon painful afflictions Memorials for practice Parents Groans for their wicked Children by Edward Lawrence M. A. Troughtons apology for the Nonconformists preaching Of thoughtfulness for the future by J. Howe M. A. Barretts reply to the Dean St. Pauls late Book No Evidence for Diocesan Bishops by Mr. Clarkson The Life of that reverend Divine Mr. Owen Stockton late of Colchester There is now a Printing an Exposition on the Prophecy of Isaia by that reverend divine Mr. Arthur-Jackson The Little Book for little Children is lately Reprinted Corbetts self Imployment in secret