never_o trouble_v the_o man_n after_o ward_n 46._o a_o highwayman_n be_v to_o be_v hang_v in_o a_o country_n town_n order_n be_v send_v to_o the_o carpenter_n to_o make_v a_o gallow_n which_o he_o neglect_v to_o do_v the_o execution_n be_v force_v to_o be_v defer_v for_o which_o the_o judge_n be_v not_o a_o little_a angry_a who_o send_v for_o the_o carpenter_n ask_v he_o why_o he_o have_v not_o do_v it_o why_o sir_n say_v he_o i_o have_v do_v two_o or_o three_o already_o but_o be_v never_o pay_v for_o they_o but_o have_v i_o know_v it_o have_v be_v for_o your_o worship_n i_o will_v have_v leave_v all_o other_o business_n to_o have_v do_v it_o 47._o a_o scotchman_n go_v along_o the_o street_n jostle_v a_o gentleman_n the_o gentleman_n say_v to_o he_o goddamn_v you_o the_o scotchman_n reply_v god_n bless_v you_o sir_n may_v neither_o of_o they_o light_n 48._o one_o ask_v a_o gentleman_n if_o he_o will_v venture_v any_o thing_n at_o the_o lottery_n this_o fair_a and_o what_o he_o win_v his_o wife_n shall_v have_v for_o her_o fairing_n no_o say_v the_o gentleman_n for_o there_o be_v not_o one_o in_o forty_o have_v any_o luck_n but_o cuckold_n which_o his_o sweet_a wife_n hear_v say_v dear_a husband_n pâ—ay_v venture_v for_o i_o be_o sure_a you_o will_v have_v good_a luck_n 49._o a_o cambridge_n scholar_n cross_v king_n james_n steed_n when_o he_o be_v ride_v a_o hunt_n the_o king_n be_v in_o a_o great_a passion_n at_o it_o and_o rid_v after_o he_o with_o his_o draw_a sword_n and_o be_v go_v to_o cut_v he_o over_o the_o pate_n the_o scholar_n say_v to_o he_o pray_v sir_n dont_fw-fr knight_n i_o till_o my_o elder_a brother_n dead_a for_o i_o be_o but_o a_o young_a brother_n at_o which_o witty_a say_n the_o king_n be_v pacify_v and_o please_v and_o give_v he_o a_o guinney_n for_o his_o ingenuity_n 50._o a_o silly_a fellow_n hear_v a_o lady_n servant_n call_v her_o madam_n at_o every_o word_n he_o think_v to_o be_v more_o mannerly_a than_o they_o and_o therefore_o make_v a_o addition_n of_o mistress_n to_o it_o say_v mistress_n madam_n an_o it_o please_v your_o ladyship_n 51._o the_o late_a engenious_a bishop_n wilkins_n have_v in_o his_o juvinal_a day_n write_v a_o book_n entitle_v the_o world_n in_o the_o moon_n wherein_o he_o allot_v land_n to_o several_a prince_n in_o the_o world_n and_o particular_o a_o considerable_a quantity_n to_o our_o late_a king_n after_o dinner_n one_o day_n the_o k._n have_v a_o mind_n to_o be_v merry_a say_v to_o the_o bishop_n i_o have_v see_v a_o book_n of_o you_o wherein_o you_o allot_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o land_n in_o the_o world_n in_o the_o moon_n now_o it_o be_v so_o far_o off_o and_o troublesome_a to_o look_v after_o i_o will_v sell_v it_o you_o if_o you_o please_v to_o who_o the_o bishop_n reply_v i_o thank_v your_o majesty_n but_o i_o do_v care_n to_o meddle_v with_o crown_n land_n 52._o at_o another_o time_n the_o countess_n of_o newcastle_n be_v a_o whimsical_a lady_n ask_v this_o bishop_n wilkins_n how_o she_o shall_v get_v up_o into_o the_o world_n in_o the_o moon_n which_o he_o have_v discover_v for_o sayâ—_n she_o it_o must_v certain_o be_v a_o very_a great_a journey_n thither_o and_o unless_o one_o can_v rest_v by_o the_o way_n it_o be_v impossible_a to_o get_v thither_o oh_o madam_n say_v the_o bishop_n your_o ladyship_n have_v build_v so_o many_o castle_n in_o the_o air_n that_o you_o may_v rest_v in_o one_o of_o they_o 53._o one_o that_o have_v a_o confound_a scold_n to_o his_o wife_n be_v continual_o troment_v with_o the_o perpetual_a clack_n of_o her_o tongue_n wish_v one_o day_n that_o she_o be_v in_o heaven_n she_o know_v thereby_o that_o he_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o be_v rid_v of_o she_o in_o a_o great_a rage_n tell_v he_o she_o have_v rather_o see_v he_o hang_v first_o 54._o a_o lord_n son_n in_o the_o north_n that_o be_v much_o addict_v to_o the_o pleasure_n of_o venus_n haunt_v all_o the_o pretty_a girl_n thereabouts_o but_o especial_o one_o above_o the_o rest_n that_o be_v a_o very_a handsome_a maid_n and_o a_o farmer_n daughter_n who_o be_v his_o father_n tenent_n which_o give_v he_o the_o more_o liberty_n of_o court_v she_o and_o have_v inpertune_v she_o very_o much_o yet_o she_o will_v not_o grant_v at_o last_o he_o promise_v her_o marriage_n and_o thereby_o have_v the_o pleasure_n of_o enjoyment_n but_o his_o father_n and_o mother_n fear_v that_o he_o will_v make_v up_o a_o match_n with_o the_o farmer_n daughter_n by_o go_v so_o often_o thither_o send_v to_o another_o lord_n that_o live_v five_o mile_n off_o to_o treat_v with_o he_o for_o his_o daughter_n who_o be_v a_o pretty_a woman_n also_o for_o his_o son_n so_o they_o soon_o agree_v and_o the_o marriage_n day_n be_v appoint_v and_o the_o young_a blade_n be_v ride_v with_o his_o man_n to_o the_o bridehouse_n but_o the_o farmer_n and_o his_o daughter_n have_v way_n lay_v he_o the_o farmer_n ask_v he_o what_o satisfaction_n he_o shall_v have_v for_o the_o wrong_n he_o have_v do_v his_o daughter_n well_o say_v he_o there_o be_v forty_o guinney_n for_o you_o and_o i_o will_v give_v you_o a_o bond_n to_o make_v it_o up_o a_o hundred_o pound_n to_o be_v pay_v in_o three_o month_n if_o you_o will_v be_v contend_v so_o the_o bond_n be_v make_v under_o the_o hedge_n and_o the_o people_n at_o the_o bridehouse_n admire_v at_o his_o stay_n send_v one_o to_o see_v who_o when_o he_o come_v find_v he_o indent_v with_o the_o farmer_n and_o his_o daughter_n under_o the_o hedge_n so_o when_o he_o have_v doâ—eâ—_n 〈◊〉_d rid_v away_o to_o the_o bridehouse_n as_o fast_o as_o he_o can_v gallop_v and_o soon_o after_o be_v maâ—â—â—â—_n to_o the_o lady_n and_o whâ—n_o they_o be_v a_o bed_n together_o he_o begin_v to_o kiss_v she_o pray_v say_v she_o resolve_v i_o one_o question_n first_o what_o make_v you_o under_o the_o hegd_a with_o the_o farmer_n &_o his_o daughter_n so_o long_o whyâ—_n â—_z say_v he_o that_o do_v not_o concern_v you_o at_o all_o well_o say_v she_o i_o will_v know_v or_o else_o you_o and_o i_o shall_v be_v at_o a_o distance_n why_o then_o say_v he_o if_o you_o will_v be_v angry_a i_o will_v tell_v you_o well_o i_o will_v not_o say_v she_o let_v it_o be_v what_o it_o will_n why_o then_o say_v he_o i_o get_v the_o farmer_n daughter_n with_o child_n and_o she_o be_v such_o a_o fool_n to_o tell_v her_o father_n of_o it_o so_o she_o be_v by_o my_o troth_n say_v she_o for_o my_o father_n man_n get_v i_o with_o child_n above_o a_o twelvemonth_n ago_o and_o you_o be_v the_o first_o that_o ever_o i_o tell_v of_o it_o 55._o the_o bishop_n of_o mentz_n have_v a_o merry_a fellow_n to_o his_o tenant_n who_o be_v deep_a in_o arrear_n for_o rent_n to_o who_o the_o bishop_n send_v his_o steward_n who_o tell_v he_o that_o unless_o he_o take_v more_o care_n to_o pay_v his_o rent_n the_o bishop_n will_v take_v a_o course_n with_o he_o to_o who_o the_o fellow_n reply_v he_o do_v not_o value_v the_o bishop_n for_o he_o know_v how_o to_o keep_v out_o of_o his_o clutch_n why_o say_v the_o stward_o you_o must_v go_v out_o of_o the_o bishopwrick_fw-ge then_o no_o reply_v the_o fellow_n i_o wont_a for_o i_o have_v forty_o lurk_a place_n about_o the_o diocese_n where_o he_o will_v never_o find_v i_o where_o can_v they_o be_v i_o beseech_v you_o say_v the_o steward_n why_o there_o be_v one_o in_o every_o church_n say_v he_o then_o he_o will_v quick_o find_v you_o out_o say_v the_o other_o for_o he_o be_v there_o once_a a_o week_n at_o least_o o_o but_o say_v the_o fellew_n i_o will_v hide_v myself_o in_o one_o of_o the_o pulpit_n where_o i_o be_o sure_a he_o will_v come_v in_o haste_n 56._o a_o ignorant_a fellow_n have_v get_v in_o to_o be_v a_o reader_n in_o a_o countrey-church_n the_o first_o chapter_n of_o matthew_n be_v appoint_v to_o be_v read_v which_o contain_v the_o genealogy_n and_o be_v full_a of_o hard_a name_n he_o begin_v with_o abraham_n beget_v isaac_n and_o so_o read_v on_o three_o or_o four_o more_o till_o he_o be_v quite_o nonpluse_v but_o cast_v his_o eye_n forward_o and_o so_o say_v he_o they_o beget_v one_o another_o to_o the_o end_n of_o the_o chapter_n 57_o a_o knight_n in_o northâ—mpton_n sâ—ire_n that_o have_v three_o son_n and_o no_o great_a estate_n tell_v his_o young_a son_n that_o he_o must_v needs_o bind_v he_o a_o apprentice_n and_o bid_v he_o choose_v his_o trade_n the_o boy_n be_v of_o a_o smart_n and_o ingenious_a temper_n tell_v his_o father_n he_o will_v be_v a_o tanner_n push_v say_v he_o that_o be_v a_o nasty_a trady_n that_o be_v true_a say_v he_o but_o yet_o it_o be_v the_o
england_n jest_n refine_v and_o improve_v be_v a_o choice_a collection_n of_o the_o merry_a jest_n smartest_n repartees_n witty_a saying_n and_o most_o notable_a bull_n yet_o extant_a with_o many_o new_a one_o never_o before_o print_v to_o which_o be_v add_v xiii_o ingenious_a character_n draw_v to_o the_o life_n the_o whole_a work_n compile_v with_o great_a care_n and_o exactness_n and_o may_v serve_v as_o the_o witty-man_n companion_n the_o busie-man_n diversion_n and_o the_o melancholy_a man_n physic_n and_o recreation_n the_o three_o edition_n with_o the_o addition_n of_o several_a jest_n not_o permit_v to_o be_v print_v in_o the_o former_a impression_n calculate_v for_o the_o innocent_a spend_v of_o the_o winter_n evening_n by_o h._n c._n semel_fw-la in_o anno_fw-la ridet_fw-la apollo_n horat._n london_n print_v for_o john_n harris_n at_o the_o harrow_n in_o the_o poultry_n 1693._o england_n jest_n refine_v and_o improve_v spectatum_fw-la admissi_fw-la risum_fw-la teneatis_fw-la 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delight_n so_o you_o will_v do_v your_o part_n and_o show_v your_o kind_a acceptance_n thereof_o in_o buy_v it_o especial_o when_o you_o may_v have_v it_o at_o so_o reasonable_a a_o rate_n as_o one_o shilling_n farewell_o h._n c._n england_n jest_n refine_v and_o improve_v 1._o apelles_n the_o famous_a painter_n have_v draw_v the_o picture_n of_o alâ—xâ—nder_a the_o great_a on_o horseback_n and_o present_v it_o to_o he_o he_o give_v it_o not_o that_o praise_n that_o so_o exquisite_a a_o piece_n deserve_v whereupon_o apelles_n desire_v a_o live_a horse_n may_v be_v bring_v who_o see_v the_o picture_n fall_v â—o_o â—awing_v and_o neigh_v take_v it_o to_o be_v a_o real_a rival_n upon_o whâ—ch_n apelles_n ingenious_o tell_v that_o great_a emperâ—uâ—_n that_o his_o horse_n understand_v paint_v better_a than_o he._n 2._o a_o ignorant_a countryman_n come_v to_o town_n go_v to_o covent-garden_n to_o a_o gentleman_n to_o who_o he_o be_v direct_v who_o out_o of_o civility_n to_o the_o country_n 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please_v to_o come_v thither_o he_o may_v use_v they_o all_o day_n long_o there_o 4._o a_o mayor_n of_o a_o certain_a corporation_n dine_v with_o the_o alderman_n his_o brethren_n after_o dinner_n to_o show_v his_o loyalty_n begin_v his_o majesty_n health_n on_o one_o knee_n and_o present_v it_o to_o one_o of_o the_o alderman_n who_o he_o imagine_v to_o be_v no_o great_a admirer_n of_o health-drinking_a the_o alderman_n take_v the_o glass_n and_o pledge_v he_o on_o both_o knee_n which_o the_o rest_n of_o his_o brethren_n observe_v the_o loyal_a mayor_n be_v not_o a_o little_a concern_v to_o be_v outdo_v as_o he_o think_v by_o the_o alderman_n and_o ask_v he_o why_o he_o do_v it_o not_o as_o he_o have_v begin_v it_o on_o one_o knee_n why_o true_o say_v the_o alderman_n one_o knee_n be_v in_o honour_n of_o the_o king_n and_o the_o other_o to_o ask_v god_n forgiveness_n for_o so_o do_v what_o say_v the_o mayor_n for_o do_v the_o king_n honour_n no_o say_v he_o not_o for_o that_o but_o because_o i_o pledge_v a_o health_n on_o that_o which_o i_o ought_v to_o pray_v on_o 5._o a_o spaniard_n and_o a_o frenchman_n meet_v in_o covent-garden_n after_o the_o usual_a compliment_n pass_v between_o they_o fall_v to_o dispute_v about_o religion_n why_o quoth_v the_o spaniard_n will_v you_o contend_v with_o we_o about_o religion_n there_o be_v more_o saint_n in_o spain_n then_o i_o have_v hair_n on_o my_o beard_n and_o there_o be_v more_o in_o france_n say_v the_o frenchman_n than_o i_o have_v hair_n on_o my_o head_n and_o beard_n too_o then_o say_v the_o spaniard_n let_v the_o contest_v be_v thus_o decide_v i_o will_v pull_v a_o hair_n off_o your_o beard_n for_o every_o saint_n i_o name_n anâ—â—ou_o shall_v pluck_v one_o off_o i_o for_o every_o saint_n you_o name_n so_o the_o frenchman_n begin_v and_o pull_v
for_o aught_o i_o know_v we_o may_v have_v have_v a_o deform_a child_n 72._o the_o king_n of_o spain_n come_v into_o one_o of_o his_o chief_a city_n the_o mayor_n come_v to_o make_v a_o speech_n and_o begin_v thus_o when_o the_o king_n of_o peace_n ride_v to_o jerusalem_n but_o be_v dash_v out_o of_o countenance_n he_o say_v again_o when_o the_o king_n of_o peace_n ride_v to_o jerusalem_n and_o so_o the_o three_o time_n but_o can_v not_o proceed_v then_o the_o king_n turn_v to_o his_o â—_z say_v we_o may_v easy_o imaâ—gine_v this_o man_n to_o be_v a_o ass_n by_o the_o consequent_a 73._o mr._n philemoâ—_n holland_n have_v translate_v several_a book_n as_o plutarch_n pliny_n livy_n cambden_n etc._n etc._n at_o length_n he_o translate_v sâ—etonius_n tranquillus_n into_o english_a upon_o which_o a_o ingenious_a blade_n write_v this_o distich_n on_o he_o phliemon_n with_o translation_n do_v so_o fill_v we_o he_o will_v not_o let_v suetonius_n be_v tranquillus_n 74._o a_o gentleman_n go_v into_o a_o church_n in_o london_n when_o they_o be_v chant_v sternhold_n and_o hopkin_n psalm_n which_o be_v not_o the_o most_o melodious_a in_o the_o world_n the_o word_n be_v these_o have_v mercy_n upon_o we_o miserable_a sinner_n ay_o say_v he_o they_o may_v as_o well_o hâ—ve_v sâ—id_v hâ—ve_v mercy_n upon_o we_o miserable_a singer_n 75._o two_o spark_n stand_v together_o in_o the_o cloister_n see_v a_o pretty_a lady_n pal_v by_o say_v one_o of_o they_o there_o go_v the_o handsome_a lady_n that_o ever_o i_o see_v in_o my_o life_n she_o hear_v he_o turn_v back_o and_o see_v he_o very_o ugly_a say_v sir_n i_o will_v i_o can_v in_o way_n of_o requital_n say_v as_o much_o of_o you_o faith_n say_v he_o so_o you_o may_v and_o lie_v as_o i_o do_v 76._o a_o poor_a man_n in_o smithfield_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o bind_v his_o son_n to_o a_o butcher_n but_o be_v solicitous_a to_o get_v a_o master_n of_o who_o he_o may_v learn_v his_o trade_n well_o he_o ask_v his_o friend_n who_o be_v a_o ingenious_a gentleman_n and_o have_v great_a acquaintance_n to_o who_o he_o shall_v bind_v he_o o_o say_v he_o there_o be_v a_o physician_n hard_a by_o you_o bind_v he_o to_o he_o for_o he_o kill_v more_o than_o all_o beside_o in_o the_o town_n 77._o a_o gallant_a dine_a at_o a_o friend_n house_n have_v promise_v a_o lady_n to_o meet_v she_o in_o the_o afternoon_n but_o be_v engage_v after_o dinner_n at_o card_n can_v not_o fair_o get_v away_o wherefore_o he_o call_v his_o boy_n and_o send_v he_o to_o the_o lady_n to_o excuse_v he_o whisper_v he_o in_o the_o ear_n that_o whatever_o answer_v the_o lady_n return_v he_o shall_v tell_v it_o he_o as_o if_o it_o be_v from_o a_o man_n that_o the_o company_n may_v not_o know_v so_o the_o boy_n go_v on_o his_o errand_n and_o a_o little_a after_o return_v to_o his_o master_n who_o ask_v he_o aloud_o before_o the_o company_n what_o be_v the_o gentleman_n at_o home_n yes_o sir_n answer_v the_o boy_n well_o what_o say_v he_o to_o you_o he_o say_v sir_n you_o may_v appoint_v any_o other_o time_n what_o be_v he_o do_v say_v the_o gentleman_n he_o be_v put_v on_o his_o hood_n and_o scarf_n to_o go_v to_o mass_n say_v the_o boy_n which_o discover_v the_o intrigue_n and_o set_v they_o all_o a_o laugh_a 78._o a_o woman_n ask_v her_o husband_n for_o some_o money_n to_o buy_v a_o broad_a silver_n and_o gold_n lace_n to_o put_v on_o her_o petticoat_n he_o reply_v thus_o to_o she_o if_o i_o once_o make_v you_o a_o goldfinch_n you_o will_v prove_v a_o wagtail_n all_o your_o life_n after_o 79._o one_o that_o be_v a_o great_a eater_n sit_v down_o to_o supper_n complain_v that_o he_o have_v lose_v his_o stomach_n well_o say_v a_o merry_a fellow_n that_o be_v there_o if_o a_o poor_a man_n have_v find_v it_o he_o will_v be_v utter_o undo_v 80._o a_o bishop_n be_v inform_v by_o hiâ—_n steward_n of_o the_o greatness_n of_o his_o expense_n that_o it_o be_v over_o proportionable_a to_o his_o estate_n and_o that_o particular_o the_o number_n of_o his_o servant_n be_v too_o great_a the_o bishop_n order_v he_o to_o draw_v up_o a_o note_n of_o such_o as_o be_v necessary_a and_o such_o as_o be_v not_o which_o be_v do_v he_o summon_v all_o his_o servant_n together_o and_o read_v the_o note_n separate_v they_o and_o then_o say_v these_o i_o have_v need_n of_o and_o therefore_o they_o must_v continue_v those_o have_v need_n of_o i_o and_o therefore_o they_o must_v continue_v also_o 81._o just_o after_o the_o late_a king_n restauration_n when_o go_v to_o church_n come_v to_o be_v in_o fashion_n a_o old_a woman_n be_v advise_v by_o her_o neighbour_n to_o go_v to_o church_n for_o fear_n of_o be_v present_v she_o be_v resolve_v to_o go_v once_o a_o month_n to_o save_v her_o bacon_n so_o dress_n herself_o very_o fine_a she_o come_v into_o the_o church_n just_a at_o the_o expiration_n of_o the_o litany_n and_o the_o parson_n have_v say_v lord_n have_v mercy_n upon_o we_o and_o then_o the_o people_n responding_z thereunto_o she_o cry_v out_o aloud_o i_o never_o be_v here_o before_o in_o my_o life_n anâ—_n since_o you_o make_v such_o a_o wonderment_n at_o it_o i_o will_v never_o come_v again_o 82._o two_o gentleman_n walk_v in_o cheapside_n in_o oliver_n time_n see_v the_o sign_n of_o the_o golden-cross_n one_o of_o they_o proffer_v to_o lay_v two_o bottle_n of_o wine_n with_o the_o other_o that_o he_o will_v make_v the_o master_n of_o the_o shop_n pull_v down_o the_o sign_n the_o wager_n be_v lay_v he_o pull_v off_o his_o hat_n and_o make_v half_o a_o dozen_o leg_n to_o the_o sign_n first_o on_o one_o side_n and_o then_o on_o the_o other_o which_o the_o master_n of_o the_o shop_n seek_v think_v to_o prevent_v his_o future_a superstition_n sudden_o pull_v down_o his_o sign_n whereby_o the_o gentleman_n win_v his_o two_o bottle_n of_o wine_n 83._o a_o minister_n find_v his_o parishioner_n to_o be_v ignorant_a be_v resolve_v to_o examine_v and_o instruct_v they_o at_o home_n so_o go_v to_o a_o ancient_a woman_n house_n among_o other_o question_n he_o ask_v she_o how_o many_o commandment_n there_o be_v she_o tell_v he_o she_o can_v not_o tell_v he_o tell_v she_o there_o be_v ten_o whereat_o she_o reply_v a_o jolly_a company_n god_n bless_v you_o and_o they_o both_o together_o well_o but_o neighbour_n say_v he_o do_v you_o think_v you_o can_v keep_v these_o commandment_n ah_o god_n bless_v you_o sir_n say_v she_o i_o be_o a_o poor_a woman_n and_o can_v haâ—dly_o keep_v myself_o i_o hope_v you_o will_v not_o put_v i_o to_o the_o charge_n of_o keep_v any_o of_o the_o commandment_n for_o you_o 84._o go_v to_o another_o of_o they_o â—e_z ask_v she_o who_o make_v she_o she_o reply_v she_o do_v not_o know_v a_o child_n stand_v by_o he_o ask_v he_o the_o same_o question_n who_o answer_v god_n whereupon_o the_o parson_n reprove_v the_o old_a woman_n tell_v she_o it_o be_v a_o shame_n that_o she_o shall_v be_v so_o ignorant_a who_o have_v live_v to_o those_o year_n and_o that_o little_a child_n can_v tell_v marry_o quoth_v she_o i_o be_o old_a woman_n and_o have_v be_v make_v a_o great_a while_n and_o he_o be_v make_v but_o other_o day_n he_o may_v well_o tell_v who_o make_v he_o 85._o a_o quaker_n go_v to_o sell_v a_o horse_n in_o smithfield_n a_o chapman_n who_o look_v on_o the_o horse_n complain_v of_o his_o head_n quoth_v the_o quaker_n he_o that_o make_v that_o head_n will_v learn_v of_o thou_o to_o make_v head_n why_o friend_n say_v the_o other_o may_v i_o not_o speak_v of_o thy_o horse_n fault_n if_o i_o see_v they_o nay_o say_v he_o for_o he_o see_v none_o in_o thou_o why_o shall_v thou_o see_v any_o in_o he_o the_o man_n be_v so_o take_v with_o the_o bluntness_n of_o the_o quaker_n that_o he_o buy_v his_o horse_n which_o as_o he_o have_v tell_v he_o before_o be_v stark_o blind_a 86._o two_o gentleman_n ride_v on_o the_o road_n espy_v at_o a_o distance_n a_o old_a woman_n a_o do_v her_o necessary_a occasion_n by_o a_o hedge_n side_n one_o of_o they_o offer_v a_o bottle_n of_o wine_n that_o she_o will_v turn_v and_o see_v what_o she_o have_v do_v they_o agree_v on_o the_o wager_n and_o she_o according_o do_v well_o say_v the_o loser_n i_o will_v ask_v she_o why_o she_o do_v so_o when_o i_o come_v to_o she_o then_o ride_v up_o to_o she_o well_o good_a woman_n say_v he_o i_o see_v you_o have_v be_v evacuate_v yourself_o do_v you_o so_o quoth_v she_o you_o see_v no_o more_o with_o your_o eye_n than_o you_o may_v carry_v away_o in_o your_o mouth_n but_o pray_v mrs._n say_v the_o gentleman_n what_o make_v you_o look_v back_o on_o it_o when_o
his_o horse_n have_v a_o velvet_n saddle_n and_o embroider_a cloth_n ask_v he_o why_o that_o be_v not_o black_a too_o o_o say_v the_o gentleman_n my_o horse_n father_n be_v not_o dead_a yet_o 115._o a_o country_n farmer_n come_v up_o to_o london_n have_v a_o token_n to_o deliver_v to_o his_o landlord_n son_n a_o young_a gentleman_n of_o the_o temple_n when_o he_o come_v to_o his_o chamber_n he_o find_v a_o note_n in_o the_o keyhole_n write_v i_o be_o go_v to_o the_o devil_n whereupon_o the_o poor_a farmer_n fall_v into_o a_o great_a fright_n have_v the_o sad_a apprehension_n imaginable_a alas_o say_v he_o that_o ever_o my_o landlord_n shall_v send_v his_o son_n to_o this_o wicked_a place_n a_o fine_a young_a gentleman_n that_o have_v cost_v his_o father_n many_o a_o fair_a pound_n to_o bring_v he_o up_o to_o learning_n and_o that_o ever_o he_o shall_v come_v to_o this_o ungodly_a town_n in_o two_o or_o three_o month_n time_n to_o go_v to_o the_o devil_n i_o dare_v not_o carry_v this_o sad_a evil_a tiding_n to_o his_o father_n and_o as_o he_o be_v make_v these_o sad_a lamentation_n a_o young_a student_n come_v up_o and_o tell_v he_o that_o the_o note_v only_o mean_v the_o devil-tavern_n haâ—d_a by_o and_o that_o he_o believe_v he_o may_v find_v he_o there_o so_o he_o go_v thither_o and_o find_v the_o gentleman_n and_o present_v his_o father_n token_n and_o then_o tell_v he_o the_o extraordinary_a trouble_v he_o be_v in_o upon_o read_v the_o note_n at_o which_o the_o gentleman_n laugh_v hearty_o and_o give_v the_o farmer_n such_o a_o entertainment_n that_o when_o he_o come_v down_o into_o the_o country_n he_o tell_v his_o friend_n that_o he_o never_o fare_v better_a in_o his_o life_n than_o he_o do_v at_o the_o devil_n which_o put_v they_o all_o into_o no_o small_a astonishment_n 116._o a_o scholar_n of_o oxford_n have_v wear_v out_o the_o heel_n of_o his_o boot_n bring_v they_o in_o his_o hand_n to_o a_o cobbler_n and_o show_v he_o they_o say_v o_o thou_o curious_a artificer_n that_o have_v by_o no_o small_a pain_n and_o study_n arrive_v to_o the_o perfection_n of_o that_o exquisite_a art_n of_o repair_v the_o defect_n of_o old_a decay_a calcument_n affix_v i_o two_o semicircle_n to_o my_o suppeditor_n the_o cobbler_n stare_v upon_o he_o as_o if_o he_o will_v have_v look_v he_o through_o but_o a_o little_a recover_v himself_o say_v before_o george_n sir_n i_o understand_v not_o your_o hard_a language_n but_o if_o i_o put_v on_o two_o heel-piece_n i_o will_v have_v a_o groat_n for_o they_o 117._o the_o same_o scholar_n be_v ask_v by_o a_o porter_n for_o a_o gentleman_n chamber_n in_o the_o college_n he_o direct_v he_o thus_o you_o must_v crucify_v the_o quadrangle_n and_o ascend_v the_o grade_n and_o you_o will_v find_v he_o perambulate_v in_o his_o cubicle_n near_o the_o fenkster_n pray_v sir_n say_v the_o porter_n what_o be_v that_o fenester_n it_o be_v reply_v the_o scholar_n the_o diaphanous_a part_n of_o a_o edifice_n erect_v for_o the_o introduction_n of_o illumination_n which_o so_o amaze_v the_o porter_n that_o at_o first_o he_o do_v not_o know_v what_o to_o think_v till_o recover_v himself_o he_o go_v and_o inquire_v of_o another_o who_o give_v he_o plain_a direction_n in_o more_o intelligible_a term_n 118._o a_o old_a usurer_n die_v leave_v a_o good_a estate_n to_o his_o son_n who_o be_v more_o lavish_a in_o the_o spend_n of_o it_o than_o his_o father_n have_v be_v careful_a in_o scrape_v it_o up_o as_o this_o young_a spark_n be_v ride_v in_o his_o coach_n to_o epsome_n he_o be_v angry_a with_o his_o coachman_n for_o not_o drive_v fast_o call_v to_o he_o say_v you_o dog_n if_o you_o do_v not_o make_v more_o haste_n i_o will_v come_v and_o kick_v you_o to_o the_o devil_n sir_n reply_v the_o coach_n man_n i_o swear_v if_o you_o do_v i_o will_v there_o tell_v your_o father_n how_o extravagant_o you_o have_v spend_v his_o estate_n 119._o a_o gentleman_n live_v in_o the_o country_n have_v some_o urgent_a business_n at_o london_n and_o his_o lady_n at_o the_o same_o time_n be_v ready_a to_o lie_v in_o leave_v order_n with_o his_o servant_n a_o welshman_n that_o when_o his_o lady_n be_v deliver_v if_o it_o be_v a_o son_n he_o shall_v come_v to_o london_n and_o acquaint_v he_o promise_v he_o for_o his_o pain_n a_o new_a suit_n of_o clothes_n the_o lady_n be_v in_o a_o short_a time_n after_o deliver_v of_o a_o daughter_n however_o jack_n unwilling_a to_o lose_v his_o suit_n of_o clothes_n go_v to_o london_n and_o acquaint_v his_o master_n that_o his_o lady_n be_v bring_v to_o bed_n of_o a_o brave_a young_a son_n the_o gentleman_n be_v overjoy_v at_o the_o news_n perform_v his_o promise_n and_o jack_n be_v well_o accoutre_v return_v to_o his_o mistress_n and_o in_o a_o short_a time_n after_o the_o gentleman_n return_v and_o meet_v his_o wife_n wish_v she_o much_o joy_n of_o her_o son_n but_o she_o allege_v it_o be_v a_o daughter_n and_o he_o find_v himself_o abuse_v order_v jack_n to_o be_v send_v for_o who_o when_o he_o come_v still_o continue_v in_o his_o former_a say_n that_o it_o be_v a_o son_n whereupon_o the_o child_n be_v produce_v and_o show_v to_o the_o whole_a company_n jack_n still_o aver_v it_o to_o be_v a_o son_n why_o thou_o fool_n quoth_v the_o nurse_n if_o it_o be_v a_o son_n it_o shall_v have_v a_o cock_n here_o cots-plut_a quoth_v the_o welshman_n be_v her_o in_o haste_n will_v her_o have_v a_o cock_n there_o already_o let_v her_o keep_v her_o till_o her_o be_v sixteen_o or_o seventeen_o year_n old_a and_o if_o her_o have_v no_o cock_n then_o hang_v her_o 120._o a_o brisk_a young_a lady_n see_v the_o sheriff_n of_o a_o county_n who_o be_v a_o comely_a young_a man_n wait_v upon_o the_o judge_n who_o be_v a_o old_a man_n be_v ask_v by_o one_o which_o she_o have_v most_o mind_n to_o the_o judge_n or_o the_o sheriff_n she_o answer_v the_o sheriff_n he_o ask_v the_o reason_n she_o reply_v that_o she_o love_v judgement_n well_o but_o execution_n much_o better_a 121._o some_o soldier_n in_o the_o camp_n be_v very_o lousy_a complain_v to_o their_o captain_n who_o be_v a_o jocose_v man_n bid_v they_o turn_v their_o shirt_n and_o shake_v they_o tell_v they_o that_o the_o louse_n will_v have_v a_o day_n march_v at_o least_o before_o they_o can_v come_v to_o their_o skin_n 122._o a_o handsome_a country_n maid_n come_v to_o croyden_n market_n and_o be_v very_o nimble_a leap_v off_o her_o horse_n but_o the_o pummel_n of_o her_o saddle_n be_v high_a catch_v hold_v of_o her_o petticoat_n and_o show_v almost_o all_o that_o nature_n give_v she_o which_o a_o gentleman_n stand_v by_o and_o see_v say_v sweetheart_n you_o have_v a_o very_a clear_a skin_n to_o who_o she_o answer_v brisk_o sir_n if_o you_o like_v it_o so_o well_o why_o do_v not_o you_o come_v and_o kiss_v it_o to_o take_v your_o leave_n on_o it_o for_o you_o be_v not_o ever_o like_a to_o see_v it_o again_o 123._o two_o scotchman_n meet_v about_o dinner_n time_n one_o ask_v the_o other_o to_o lend_v he_o sixpence_n by_o my_o troth_n quoth_v he_o i_o have_v but_o a_o groat_n prithee_o man_n say_v he_o lend_v i_o that_o and_o i_o will_v trust_v you_o for_o the_o other_o two_o penny_n 124._o a_o young_a woman_n have_v marry_v a_o great_a student_n who_o be_v so_o inteâ—t_v on_o his_o study_n that_o she_o think_v herself_o too_o little_o regard_v by_o he_o and_o one_o day_n when_o they_o be_v at_o dinner_n with_o some_o friend_n she_o wish_v herself_o a_o book_n that_o she_o may_v have_v more_o of_o her_o husband_n company_n if_o it_o must_v be_v so_o say_v her_o husband_n i_o wish_v thou_o be_v a_o almanac_n that_o i_o may_v change_v thou_o for_o a_o new_a one_o once_o a_o year_n 125._o a_o gentleman_n alight_v out_o of_o his_o coach_n at_o whitehall_n ask_v a_o footman_n that_o stand_v there_o what_o a_o clock_n it_o be_v sir_n say_v the_o footman_n what_o will_v you_o give_v i_o why_o reply_v the_o gentleman_n must_v i_o give_v you_o any_o thing_n to_o tell_v i_o that_o yes_o sir_n say_v he_o for_o we_o courtier_n do_v nothing_o without_o money_n 126._o two_o gentleman_n discourse_v over_o a_o glass_n of_o wine_n of_o the_o affair_n of_o england_n and_o of_o the_o several_a class_n of_o man_n therein_o one_o of_o they_o witty_o say_v that_o in_o it_o there_o be_v neither_o scholar_n enough_o gentleman_n enough_o nor_o jew_n enough_o i_o can_v bâ—â—_n admire_v at_o your_o openion_n in_o that_o say_v the_o other_o gentleman_n for_o methinks_v there_o be_v rather_o too_o many_o of_o those_o sort_n than_o too_o few_o to_o which_o he_o reply_v if_o there_o be_v scholar_n enough_o so_o many_o will_v not_o be_v
such_o a_o man_n as_o he_o will_v defile_v his_o bed_n so_o you_o mistake_v sir_n say_v he_o there_o be_v no_o defile_n of_o my_o bed_n in_o the_o case_n for_o i_o do_v it_o in_o the_o field_n 143._o a_o arch_a wag_n ask_v why_o monk_n and_o friar_n be_v call_v holy_a father_n since_o they_o never_o marry_v o_o reply_v a_o ingenious_a gentleman_n if_o you_o consider_v how_o much_o the_o world_n be_v behold_v to_o they_o for_o propagation_n how_o many_o swarm_n of_o young_a friesling_n they_o supply_v the_o world_n with_o you_o will_v see_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o reason_n for_o it_o 144._o a_o conceit_a fellow_n that_o have_v a_o extraordinary_a good_a opinion_n of_o himself_o ask_v his_o friend_n what_o other_o think_v of_o he_o why_o say_v his_o friend_n the_o wise_a think_v you_o foolish_a and_o fool_n think_v you_o wise_a now_o pray_v what_o think_v you_o of_o yourself_o 145._o pope_n vrban_n use_v to_o commend_v the_o institution_n of_o the_o single_a life_n in_o priest_n and_o to_o blame_v their_o use_n of_o concubine_n be_v wont_a to_o say_v god_n have_v forbid_v 〈◊〉_d to_o gâ—â—_n child_n and_o the_o devil_n have_v give_v we_o nephew_n 146._o two_o gentleman_n that_o have_v be_v a_o great_a while_n at_o law_n together_o and_o have_v spend_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o money_n at_o it_o one_o of_o the_o gentleman_n friend_n tell_v he_o that_o his_o antagonist_n have_v remove_v his_o suit_n into_o chancery_n let_v he_o remove_v it_o into_o hell_n say_v he_o i_o do_v question_v but_o to_o get_v a_o lawyer_n to_o follow_v it_o for_o money_n 147._o a_o gentleman_n in_o brussels_n talk_v with_o a_o priest_n about_o religion_n ask_v why_o they_o kiss_v the_o cross_n more_o than_o any_o other_o pâ—ece_n of_o wood_n and_o what_o there_o be_v more_o in_o that_o than_o in_o any_o other_o tree_n else_o that_o they_o do_v not_o kiss_v they_o why_o say_v the_o priest_n be_v not_o your_o wife_n make_v all_o of_o the_o same_o fâ—â—sh_a and_o blood_n and_o what_o be_v the_o reason_n you_o do_v kiss_v her_o backside_n as_o well_o as_o her_o mouth_n 148._o a_o english_a merchant_n at_o lisbon_n in_o spain_n â—old_a some_o jew_n five_o hundred_o pound_n worth_a oâ—_n glove_n but_o they_o fall_v off_o from_o their_o bargain_n will_v have_v but_o half_a of_o they_o well_o say_v the_o merchant_n you_o â—â—st_n give_v i_o sometime_o to_o sâ—râ—_n they_o and_o then_o you_o shall_v have_v half_a so_o he_o order_v his_o man_n to_o put_v all_o the_o right_o hand_a glove_n in_o one_o parcel_n and_o the_o left-handed_a glove_n in_o another_o then_o when_o the_o jew_n come_v he_o bid_v they_o take_v their_o choice_n which_o when_o they_o have_v doâ—e_n and_o be_v pack_v of_o they_o up_o they_o perceive_v they_o to_o be_v all_o for_o one_o band_n and_o so_o be_v glad_a to_o take_v the_o other_o parcel_n at_o the_o â—_z own_o rate_n 149._o one_o stand_v in_o the_o pâ—llory_n at_o the_o exchange_n and_o his_o wife_n be_v by_o he_o to_o bear_v he_o company_n a_o gentleman_n that_o see_v he_o say_v he_o believe_v he_o be_v a_o papist_n because_o he_o have_v his_o cross_n with_o he_o 150._o another_o man_n hear_v a_o parson_n preach_v on_o that_o text_n take_v up_o your_o cross_n and_o follow_v i_o take_v his_o wife_n upon_o his_o back_n the_o next_o sunday_n and_o come_v into_o the_o middle_n of_o the_o church_n while_o the_o paâ—son_n be_v preach_v and_o look_v up_o to_o he_o say_v nâ—w_a sir_n i_o have_v bring_v my_o cross_n what_o must_v i_o do_v with_o it_o the_o minister_n be_v a_o little_a surprise_v at_o the_o humour_n of_o the_o fellow_n hardly_o know_v what_o to_o say_v to_o he_o but_o at_o last_o he_o bid_v he_o set_v it_o down_o there_o yes_o that_o i_o will_v say_v he_o with_o all_o my_o heart_n though_o it_o be_v in_o the_o middle_n of_o the_o sea_n but_o i_o sâ—â—_n sau_v he_o as_o well_o as_o you_o pretend_v to_o love_v the_o cross_n i_o may_v lie_v upon_o my_o hand_n this_o forty_o year_n before_o you_o will_v ease_v i_o of_o it_o 151._o a_o gentleman_n ask_v on_o of_o the_o female_a sex_n whether_o she_o be_v maid_n wife_n or_o widow_n and_o bid_v she_o tell_v he_o true_o she_o be_v a_o little_a put_v to_o it_o after_o some_o consideration_n upon_o this_o hard_a question_n and_o be_v above_o twenty_o year_n old_a answer_v he_o thus_o though_o i_o be_v never_o marry_v sir_n yet_o you_o may_v write_v i_o down_o young_a woman_n 152._o king_n henry_n the_o eight_o go_v once_o to_o gravesend_n take_v will._n summers_n his_o jester_n wiâ—h_v he_o for_o his_o diversion_n the_o wind_n be_v very_o high_a it_o be_v very_o tempestuous_a and_o summer_n be_v very_o fearful_a think_v himself_o in_o great_a danger_n and_o say_v to_o the_o king_n harry_n harry_n i_o have_v rather_o be_v thy_o fool_n by_o land_n than_o thy_o companion_n by_o water_n at_o which_o the_o king_n laughâ—ed_v hearty_o 153._o a_o nobleman_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o be_v merry_a send_v for_o his_o chaplain_n and_o tolâ—_n he_o that_o unless_o he_o can_v resolve_v he_o these_o three_o question_n he_o shall_v be_v discard_v and_o turn_v out_o of_o his_o service_n but_o if_o he_o can_v he_o shall_v have_v thirty_o guinney_n and_o the_o best_a horse_n in_o his_o stable_a so_o he_o propose_v the_o question_n to_o he_o which_o be_v these_o first_o what_o compass_n the_o world_n wâ—s_v about_o second_o how_o deep_a the_o sea_n be_v and_o three_o what_o he_o think_v the_o poor_a chaplain_n be_v in_o a_o peck_n of_o trouble_n and_o do_v not_o know_v how_o to_o answer_v they_o or_o what_o to_o say_v think_v they_o very_o unreasonable_a question_n so_o that_o all_o he_o can_v do_v be_v to_o desire_v a_o little_a time_n to_o consider_v upon_o they_o which_o the_o earl_n grant_v so_o he_o go_v a_o long_a the_o field_n one_o day_n very_o melancholy_a a_o cobbler_n of_o the_o town_n a_o merry_a fellow_n who_o be_v very_o like_o the_o chaplain_n both_o in_o physiognomy_n and_o stature_n meet_v he_o and_o ask_v he_o the_o reason_n of_o his_o sadness_n which_o with_o some_o reluctancy_n he_o tell_v he_o o_o sir_n say_v the_o cobbler_n do_v be_v deject_v cheer_v up_o i_o have_v think_v of_o a_o device_n to_o save_v your_o place_n and_o get_v you_o the_o money_n and_o horse_n too_o but_o you_o shall_v give_v i_o ten_o guinney_n for_o my_o pain_n so_o he_o agree_v to_o it_o and_o it_o be_v â—hus_o say_v he_o i_o will_v put_v on_o your_o clothes_n and_o go_v to_o my_o lord_n and_o answer_v his_o question_n according_o he_o go_v and_o when_o he_o come_v before_o he_o he_o answer_v he_o thus_o to_o the_o first_o question_n what_o compass_n the_o world_n be_v about_o he_o answer_v it_o be_v four_o and_o twenty_o hour_n journey_n and_o if_o a_o man_n can_v keep_v â—pace_o with_o â—he_n sun_n he_o may_v easy_o go_v it_o 〈◊〉_d tâ—at_a â—â—me_n to_o the_o second_o how_o deep_o â—â—e_v sea_n be_v he_o answer_v only_o â—_o stone_n throw_v for_o cast_v it_o into_o the_o deep_a place_n of_o it_o and_o in_o time_n it_o will_v come_v to_o the_o bottom_n to_o the_o thâ—d_n which_o i_o fancy_v your_o lordship_n think_v the_o most_o difficult_a to_o be_v resolve_v but_o be_v indeed_o the_o easy_a which_o be_v what_o your_o lordship_n think_v i_o answer_v that_o you_o think_v i_o be_o your_o chaplain_n when_o as_o indeed_o i_o be_o but_o the_o cobbler_n of_o glâ—â—cester_n the_o nobleman_n be_v so_o please_v with_o his_o witty_a answer_n that_o he_o perform_v his_o promise_n tâ—_n his_o chaplain_n and_o give_v the_o cobbler_n ten_o guinney_n for_o his_o ingenuity_n 154._o say_v a_o glazier_n to_o a_o painter_n i_o see_v you_o do_v all_o under_o a_o colour_n get_v you_o go_v you_o rogue_n reply_v the_o painter_n you_o be_v always_o â—icking_v of_o quarrel_n 155._o a_o certain_a king_n keep_v a_o fool_n in_o his_o court_n that_o use_v to_o write_v down_o in_o a_o book_n all_o the_o folly_n of_o the_o great_a man_n in_o the_o court_n which_o book_n the_o king_n sometime_o when_o he_o be_v dispose_v to_o be_v merâ—y_n will_v look_v into_o now_o one_o day_n after_o dinner_n the_o king_n read_v of_o the_o book_n find_v himself_o in_o it_o with_o a_o story_n of_o five_o thousand_o pound_n which_o he_o give_v a_o jew_n in_o his_o court_n to_o go_v to_o bâ—rbary_n and_o buy_v horse_n with_o so_o the_o king_n ask_v his_o jester_n why_o he_o put_v he_o in_o why_o say_v he_o for_o give_v your_o monâ—y_n to_o one_o tâ—â—t_v you_o may_v never_o see_v again_o but_o say_v the_o king_n what_o if_o he_o shall_v return_v and_o bring_v the_o horse_n what_o folly_n be_v it_o then_o why_o if_o he_o do_v reply_v the_o fool_n i_o will_v blot_v out_o