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A66944 Juvenalis redivivus, or, The first satyr of Juvenal taught to speak plain English a poem. Wood, Thomas, 1661-1722. 1683 (1683) Wing W3410; ESTC R20988 12,263 74

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Jewish race Again with Nauseous spit they dawb his Face Huzzaing we 15 Barabbas still Release No Hour can skip here unregarded by Their busy Souls each minute do employ Libels and Coffee first the Morning stay Then Wine and Whores lead on the Joyful Day The Prisons now for swearing Knights they take And fetter'd Rogues substantial Juries make The Refuse and odd scraps of time are To write the Life of some Heroick Saint Tony in Print an Hair-brain'd Author puts Before the book a well-drawn Picture strutts So rotten Whetstone Jades wear Silken Petticoats Bumfodder sure before was not so scarce With Lives and Deaths I now must wipe mine A Indeed a whole Day once they did 16 To Pray and Praise in Butchers meat and wine But the gud Tribe for Nought did Guinnies pay At Door they just peep'd in and sneak'd away A Non-Con Abr'am would not trust his Eyes But look't behind for Rams to sacrifice Some Tradesmen too who by my soul at least Can forty Days upon occasion Fast At length with tedious expectations Tire And do resolve henceforth they 'l ne're Aspire Beyond a Toast a Nutmeg and a Sea coal Fire Their Grandees baulk't like Owls do hate the light At home turn Fools and Gluttons out of spight Their whole Estates they swallow down for fear Their Treason known should give the K. a share Flatt'ry they love but ' tmust not come within T is a good natur'd and expensive Sin So many Beasts to Adam never came Each now dish'd up from them expects a name The wide throat hungry Lawyers better sped They nobly on our stinking Charter fed But Vice brings still with it a Punishment A huge fat Carcass to the Bath is sent Though these Augaean Stables scorn a flood Epsom and Tunbridge waters do no good Strange Swellings rise from undigested meat Their names are known at the next Torie treat Who scout these Tympanies of Church and State Perfect and full-grown Ill can mount no more The Age to come its Glories must adore Know how from nothing our Creation grew And wondring stand a world of mischiefs view Poor in themselves with thanks they shall receive What we their Gods above will downwards give Yet spread my Sails and launch into the Deep O're Death and Dangers shall my Satyr leap This Gyant-work I boldly do disown Pelion and Ossa now shall tumble down Help then O Heaven with a Destroying hand Scatter the Lice and Locusts of our Land With Famine Plagues and Inquisition kill But O remove remove a Greater ill I know They all defiance do profess Stubborn and disobedient to my Lash But time there was when they observ'd my Nod And gratefully would love and kiss the Rod. For Johnson his't at length a Poet was But th' HONOURABLE ESQUIRE's still an Ass If Whatdeecallum with Advice you hurt Lord you must ask his Pardon in open Court But let each Tigelline in Coaches strut Look down on wiser men that walk a foot When Titles come we 'l sneer and turn about Least Scandalum Magnatum's thundred out 17 Let Puny wits some Heroe's fate rehearse And murder him again in Hobling verse My soul this Cowardice doth wisely Dread T is Cruelty to cut and slash the Dead See our Fam'd Laureats frown does fright the Croud All fly the vengeance of an angry God Their Guilt and Shame an Horrour does express Devoutly to Him they their sins confess Perhaps at last if Wine their Courage move With base Rose Alley Drubs they him reprove And stand like Capaneus defying Jove All this I 'le bear this I can eas'ly pass And boldly match the Muses 18 Hudibrass Be still then Westminster thy Tombs shall rest Sleep on ye Reverend Shades in silence Drest LONDON thou sink of Vice my Stripes expect The world shall know that I the Living dare CORRECT Semper Ego Auditor tantum nunquamne reponam Vexatus toties Rauci Theseide Codri Impune ergo mihi recitaverit ille Togatas Hic Elegos impune diem consumpserit ingens Telephus aut summi plena jam margine Libri Scriptus in tergo nec dum finitus Orestes Nota magis nulli Domus est sua quàm mihi lucus Martis Aeoliis vicinum rupibus antrum Vulcani quid agant venti quas torqueat Umbras Aeacus unde alius furtivae devehat aurum Pelliculae quantas jaculetur Monychus Ornos Frontonis Platani convulsaque marmora clamant Semper assiduo ruptae Lectore Columnae Expectes eadem a summo minimoque Poeta Et nos ergo manum ferulae subduximus nos Consilium dedimus Syllae privatus ut altum Dormiret Stulta est Clementia cùmtot ubique Vatibus occurras periturae parcere chartae Cur tamen hoc libeat potius decurrere campo Per quam magnus equos Auruncae flexit alumnus Si vacat placidi rationem admittitis edam Cùm tener uxorem ducat Spado Mavia Tuscum Figat aprum nuda teneat venabula mamma Patricios omnes opibus cùm provocet unus Quo tondente gravis juvenis mihi barba sonabat Cùm pars Niliacae plebis cùm verna Canopi Crispinus Tyrias humero revocante lacernas Ventilet aestivum digitis sudantibus Aurum Nec sufferre queat majoris pondera Gemmae Difficile est Satyram non scribere nam quis iniquae Tam patiens urbis tam ferreus ut teneat se Causidici nova cùm veniat Lectica Mathonis Plena ipso post hunc magni delator amici Et citò rapturus de Nobilitate Comesa Quod superest quem massa timet quem munere palpat Carus à trepido Thymele summissa Latino Cum te summoveant qui Testamenta merentur Noctibus in Coelum quos evehit optima summi Nunc via processus vetulae Vesica Beatae Unciolam Proculeius habet sed Gillo Decuncem Parteis quisque suas ad mensuram inguinis haeres Accipiat sane mercedem sanguinis sic Palleat ut nudis pressit qui Calcibus Anguem Aut Lugdunensem Rhetor dicturus ad Aram. Quid referam quantâ siccum Jecur ardeat irâ Cum populum gregibus Comitum hic spoliator Pupilli prostantis At hic Damnatus inani Judicio quid enim salvis infamia Nummis Exul ab octavo Marius bibit fruitur Diis Iratis at tu victrix Provincia ploras Haec ego non credam Verusinâ digna Lucernâ Haec ego non Agitem Sed quid magis Heracleas Aut Diomedeas aut mugitum Labyrinthi Aut mare percussum puero Fabrúmque volantem Cum Leno accipiat Moechi bona si capiendi Jus nullum uxori doctus spectare Lacunar Doctus ad calicem viglianti stertere naso Cum fas esse putat curam sperare cohortis Qui bona donavit praesepibus caret omni Majorum censu dum pervolat axe citato Flaminiam puer Automedon sic lora tenebat Ipse lacernatae cum se jactaret amicae Nonne libet medio ceras implere capaces Quadrivio
JUVENALIS Redivivus OR The First Satyr of JVVENAL taught to speak plain English A POEM Dent ociùs Omnes Quas meruere pati sic stat sententia poenas Printed in the Year 1683 and are to be sold by most Booksellers The Preface to the Reader THere is scarce any one in this our Age tho a small Author but that thinks it convenient and necessary to trouble his Reader with an Apology Our very Sermons will not walk abroad without a Prologue in prose upon their backs thinking themselves not secure unless people are first perswaded into good nature Every one puts on as many cloaths as he can get and every one expects a storm Indeed we are fallen into times of strange malice and ignorance Every illiterate spelling Coxcomb will be ready to give his verdict yet who perhaps by repeating a Poem will render it more ridiculous than it is in it self Ariosto heretofore broke a Potter's vessels for singing a Song of his composing out of tune telling him that all the ware in his Shop could not suffice for the injury he had put upon him And indeed if such a Malefactor was to be tried by an unbiass'd understanding Jury Scandalum Magnatum it self ought not in reason to hope for greater Damages than a poor and thus abused Author But alass there is no such remedy we must like offending Soldiers run the Gauntlet and give every snearing Powder-monkey leave to claim the priviledge of a Lick Sure this sort of people were not so common when Juvenal first liv'd If they were I dare be confident some Scriblers had not found such an easie and merry Passage to Posterity as they have done and that Persius himself who lies sculking under the Patronage of our Author had been soundly Jirked and abominably laugh'd at One fault or slip of a Pen now a days is sufficient reason why the whole book should be condemn'd Neither is this all but you shall be sure to have continually some good natur'd friend or other at your elbow who will ever now and then flap you on the mouth with it The severe Critick Longinus and after him our admirable Laureat take notice that a man of a sublime Genius a man of large possessions has not leisure enough to consider of every slight expence will not debase himself to the management of every Trifle whereas your mean fortunes your midling Wils manage their store with extreme frugality are very nice in Grammar but who with fear of running into Profuseness never arrive to the Magnificence of a Living I had rather see both in men and women wholsom civil careless behaviour than the compleatness and exact motions of neat finical wire-drawn Babies I admire the one and am apt to grin at the other T is indeed ridiculous that any one should take a great deal of pains and be but ordinary at last I would willingly say all I could to excuse my own failings and mistakes but however it is I can by no means admit every one to be a competent Judge I am sorry I am forc'd to be so ungentile as to deny it even to the Ladies If there is any Genius in the Poem it appears as being somewhat like a parallel to the Latin and built upon old Juvenal's foundation which I must crave leave to suppose them to be wholly ignorant of T is true they desire acknowledgments from men that they are perfect beauties tho at the same time they shew themselves naked no farther than their breasts But I willingly receive a Judicious Reader One that will examine and handle all parts and that will not give his Judgment at first sight The more he understands the Latin the farther he searches I am sure it will be so much the more to my advantage He will find by an impartial scrutiny that I have aim'd at that Naturalness which Juvenal in the judgment of Rapin has seem'd wholly to have forgot that I have purposely sometimes abstain'd from his scolding and ill language being certainly assur'd that a sporting and merriment of Wit doth render Vice more ridiculous than the strongest reasons or most sententious discourse Indeed he has seem'd all along to write in choler and passion fancying himself to be really in the company of those persons that he describes with so much uneasiness and malice 'T was here only that I found my self more than ordinarily oblig'd and against my Conscience to keep somewhat close to him to be downright and serious lest in my too much caution I should not write a Parallel to which I pretend and lest I should wholly loose the name of an Imitator I have had like him no respect of Persons or Parties but like a truly Loyal Satyrist have run full tilt at vice anà folly where ever I found it with a resolution not to give any quarter tho I must confess I have discovered a greater abundance in the Faction than amongst those that are Loyal T is fit the world should know that there be some men in it that scout both Whigg and Torie that hate the destroyers of Society That scorn to be concern'd in noise and tumult till there is a real occasion My design at first was to have lead on this way of writing in many of the succeeding Satyrs but I am unwilling to prevent a worthy and more experienc'd Pen. Think if you please that my Time lies upon my hands and that I delight to be scribling or that I was resolved to be Busie about Nothing rather than be Idle I am however upon all occasions Reader Thy true Friend and very humble Servant To the Excellent and unknown Author of the ensuing Poem SIR I by chance th' ensuing Satyr saw And found that I my self did suffer too But blest the teeth that did so kindly bite That forc'd even duller Me at length to write Stripes in old Letchers oft does raise an Appetite From Anger free I only wisht that here I could like thee give each a Character I 'de tell the world that once Achitophel Did please but now the Ghost of Juvenal But by my Whiggery all Wits discry'd My Senses with the City-Charter dy'd Could I recall my Youth and brisker bloud Sir I 'de stretch high ay marry that I wou'd Noble and gay obliging whilst severe Thy Judgment deep thy Fancy neat and clear Write on Thou never sure canst do amiss I vow thou 'rt born to scourge an Age like this June 19. 1683. To his Friend the Author of JUVENALIS REDIVIVUS BLest Poet Thou alone writst unconfin'd And in a Stile as free as is thy Mind Thy even Satyr no wrong Byas knows But equally on all its rage bestows Though thou my Friend hast been provok'd to write There 's not oneline that savours ought of spight But with impartial Pen Vice is drawn here And does in all its nakedness appear Where most men may perhaps with wondring look See themselves ugly and condemn thy Book Like some brown Dame who when she