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A66701 The new help to discourse or, Wit, mirth, and jollity. intermixt with more serious matters consisting of pleasant astrological, astronomical, philosophical, grammatical, physical, chyrurgical, historical, moral, and poetical questions and answers. As also histories, poems, songs, epitaphs, epigrams, anagrams, acrosticks, riddles, jests, poesies, complements, &c. With several other varieties intermixt; together with The countrey-man's guide; containing directions for the true knowledge of several matters concerning astronomy and husbandry, in a more plain and easie method than any yet extant. By W. W. gent. Winstanley, William, 1628?-1698.; Winstanley, William, 1628?-1698. Country-man's guide. aut. 1680 (1680) Wing W3070; ESTC R222284 116,837 246

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THE NEW HELP TO DISCOURSE OR WIT MIRTH and JOLLITY intermixt with more serious Matters Consisting of pleasant Astrological Astronomical Philosophical Grammatical Physical Chyrurgical Historical Moral and Poetical Questions and Answers AS ALSO Histories Poems Songs Epitaphs Epigrams Anagrams Acrosticks Riddles Jests Poesies Complements c. With several other Varieties intermixt Together with The Countrey Man's Guide CONTAINING Directions for the true knowledge of several Matters concerning Astronomy and Husbandry in a more plain and easie Method than any yet extant By W. W. Gent. The Second Edition That Author best of all doth write Who mixeth Profit with Delight London Printed by T. S. and sold by the Book-sellers of London and Westminster 1680. THE NEVV HELP TO DISCOURSE Quest WHat is the chief end of writing Books Answ For instruction and information whereas idle Books are no other than corrupted Tales in Ink and Paper or indeed Vice sent abroad with a License wherein two are guilty of evil he that writes them and he that reads them being in effect like the brutish sin of Adultery wherein two are concerned in the same sin and therefore his resolution was good who said That for bad Books he would write none lest he should thereby hurt others in the reading of them nor would he read any of them for fear the Author should answer for his sin by being corrupted by them Quest What Book of all others is the best Answ The Holy Scriptures contained in 〈◊〉 Old and New Testament wherein the Mysteries of our Salvation are contained being the Book of all books and in compa●●●on of which no book is comparable Qu. Of how many chapters doth this Book consist An. In the Old Testament or Bible there are 777. In the new Testament 260. In the Books of Apocrypha 173. The total being 1210. And for the number of Verses in the Old Testament the Jewish Rabbins have computed them thus In the Books of the Law Verses 5845. In the Prophets 9294. and in Haggai 8064. Total 23203. Q. Are there no other Books mentioned in the Old Testament but those which we have now at this day A. Yes there were the Books of Iddo and Gad the Seers besides Solomon wrote three thousand Parables and five thousand Songs with a Book of the Nature of all Herbs Trees and Plants from the Cedar to the Hysop upon the wall Samuel also writ a Book of the Office and Institution of a King There were also Chronicles of the Kings of Judah and Israel besides those we have in the Scripture being as is judged written far larger all which Were supposed to be lost in the Jewish Captivity at Babylon Q. What was St. Augustine 's answer to one who demanded what God did before he made the World A. That he was ordaining a Hell for such kind of Enquirers Where the Scripture hath not a mouth to speak we ought no● to have a tongue to ask Q. What was the greatest love that ever w● shown in this World A. The love of God to poor sinners wh● gave his only begotten Son to dye for us of which one thus writeth God is my gift himself he freely gave me Gods gift am I and none but God shall have me Q. In what things had woman the Preheminence of man in the Creation A. In these three First that whereas man ' was made of the dust or slime of the earth woman was made of that dust or slime refined Secondly man was made out of Paradise woman in Paradise And thirdly when God is said to be about to make woman he is said to build her as being about to make a curious Edifice or more excellent structure than that of man Q. What Book next to the Holy Scripture would you chiefly desire the rest being taken away A. Theodore Beza being asked this question answered Plutarch an excellent Author for his Lives and Morals Another said Seneca whose divine Sentences in his Book are so squared by the Rules of Christianity that St. Hierom concluded him amongst the Catalogue of Divine Writers Another preferred the Thesaurus Historiarum being a Compendium of most Histories and worthy Examples And that Ornament of History Dr. Heylin gives the preheminency to Sir Walter Rawleigh's History of the World which he calls Primus in Historia Q. St. Bernard a learned Father of the Church greatly wondred at three Conjunctions the like whereof never was nor never will be and what were they A. 1. Conjunction of God and man 2. Of a Mother and a Virgin 3. Of Faith and the heart of man to believe the same The first whereof is most wonderful that the Deity should be joyned to the Humanity Heaven to Earth Majesty to Infirmity The second also very wonderful that a Maid should be a Mother and yet remain a pure Virgin The third though inferior to the two first yet wonderful that a mans heart should have power to believe the same Reason doth marvel how Faith tell can That a Maid should be a Mother God a man But cease so to marvel and believe the wonder For Faith is above and Reason is under Q. How long according to the opinion of some men shall the world continue from the Creation to the end thereof A. The Thalmudists were of opinion that it should continue six thousand years of which opinion also were some of the fathers and others of our Modern Writers because that as God created the World in six days and rested the seventh so in six thousand years which are in account of God but as six daies it shall again be annihilated when shall follow an eternal Sabbath of rest to all the Faithful Others reckon it after this manner two thousand years before the Law two thousand years under the Law and two thousand years under the Gospel But this account agreeth not right with the Calendar of Time and therefore we may conclude that those who account not right the years which are past must needs be ignorant of those which are to come Besides our Saviour saith that of that day and hour the very Angels in Heaven themselves are ignorant Let us therefore rather labour to prepare our selves against that day than curiously seek to pry into such hidden and unrevealed things Q. In what part of the world was it where the Cock crowed so loud that all the men of the world heard it A. In Noah's Ark. Q. What is the Anagram for the name of the Virgin Mary A. MARY Anagramma ARMY And well her Name an Army doth present In whom the Lord of Hosts did pitch his tent Q. What answer gave Queen Elizabeth when being a prisoner in the Reign of her Sister Queen Mary she was by one of the Bishops demanded her opinion concerning the real presence of Christ in the Sacrament A. Christ is the Word that spake it He took the Bread and brake it And as the Word did make it I do believe and take it Q. Who are those that cannot will not
they would break the back of Simon of Cyrene to carry them but these are pious frauds and so much the more tolerable in that they bring great gain into the Popes Treasury Of the Temple thus built was afterwards instituted an Order of Knights Templers by Hugh of Payennes Anno 1113. and confirmed by Pope Eugenius their Ensign was a red Cross in token that they should shed their blood to defend Christs Temple They were Cross-legged and wore on their backs the figure of the Cross for which they were by the common people called cross-back or crouk-back and by corruption crook-back Edmund Earl of Lancaster second Son to our Henry the third being of this Order was vulgarly called Edmund Crook-back which made Henry the fourth conceited that this Edmund from whom he was descended was indeed the eldest Son of King Henry but that for his crookedness and deformity his younger Brother was preferred to the Crown before him These Knights in process of time grew very rich having in all Provinces of Europe their subordinate Governors in which they did possess no less than 16000 Lordships The House of our Law Students in London called the Temple was the chief House of the Knights of this order in England where at this day some of their Images are to be seen with their legs across as they were here buried amongst whom was William Marshal the Elder a most powerful man in his time William and Gilbert his Sons Marshals of England and Earls of Pembroke upon Willa●m the Elder his Tomb some years since was read in the upper part Comes Pembrochia and on his side this verse Miles eram Martis Mars m●●ltos vic●rit armis This Order which at first was very poor insomuch that their common seal was two riding upon one Horse in little time with insatiable greediness they hoarded up great wealth by withdrawing Tithes from the Church appropriating spiritual things to themselves and other bad means which riches of theirs turned to their ruine for Philip the fair King of France having a plot to invest one of his Sons with the Title of King of Ierusalem procured of the Pope the revenue of this Order which he thought to do the better because Clement the fifth then Pope for the love he bare to France had transferred his seat from Rome to Avignon But though he affected the one he was deceived in the other for this Order being dissolved and many of them cruelly and as it is thought unjustly put to death the Lands thereto belonging were by a general Council given to the Knights Hospitallers of St. John which said Knights of that Order in England whose principal mansion was in Smithfield sold the aforesaid House of the Templers to the Students of Laws for the yearly rent of ten pound about the middle of the Reign of Edward the third in whose hand it is continued unto this day Qu. What four Countreys in England are those which are famoused for four principal qualities An. Staffordshire Darbyshire Cheshire and Lancashire Staffordshire for Beer and Bread Darbyshire for Wool and Lead Cheshire the Chief of Men And Lancashire for fair Women Qu What place in England is accounted most safe in the time of War according as we find it proverbially said An. When as wars are aloft Safe is he that 's at Christ's Croft And where should this Christ's Croft be But betwixt Rible and Mersie Qu. What may be said of these four Latine words Quid Puer Quid Senex An. Take away the first letter from Puer or a Boy and there remains Ver which signifieth the Spring Take two first letters from Senex for an old man and there remaineth Nex which signifieth death and thus are both their natures expressed in both their Names Ver. Nex Ver is the Spring most fragrant fresh and gay Nex is the Night that doth conclude lifes day Qu. What may we think of such as are Jesters to Noblemen or Princes or such as are Jaok-puddings on Mountebanks stages An. That a fool cannot perform the place and none but Fools will undertake it Qu. What Book do not married men love to learn in An. The Horn-book Qu. What be the three properties belonging to a Whore An. Nimble of her hand quick of her tongue and light of her tayl Qu. Whether are Whores or Thieves most prejudicial to a Common-wealth An. Whores by far for Thieves do only steal and purloyn from men and the harm they do is to embellish mens goods and bring them to poverty this is the only end of mens thieving and the prejudice that grows from robbing and filohing but if a man fall into the company of a Whore she flatters him she inveagles him she bewitcheth him that he spareth neither goods nor lands to content her that is onely in love with his coyn If he be married he forsakes his Wife leaves his Children despiseth his friends only to satisfie his lust with the love of a base whore who when he hath spent all upon her and he brought to beggery beateth him out like the prodigal Son and for a small reward brings him if to the fair'st end to beg if to the second to the Gallows or at the last and worst to the Pox or as prejudicial diseases Qu. What is the Art and cunning of a Whore An. Their eyes are Stauls and their hands Lime-twigs Cyrces had never more charms Calipso more inchantments nor the Syrens more subtile tunes than they have crafty sleights to inveagle young Cullies to their deceitful embraces Qu. Who were the most famous whores in former Ages An. Lais Thais Rhodope the Lady Rosamond Jane shore c. nor must we think our present age to be altogether free For thus the Poet on his word engages Whores are in this as well as former ages Qu. What is the Character of an honest Man An. That his Tongue is the Interpreter of his heart though now considering the hypocrisie and falshood of most men we may say with the Poet The tongue was once a servant to the heart And what it gave she freely did impart But now Hypocrisie is grown so strong She makes the heart a servant to the tongue Qu. What is that which of running becomes staid of soft becomes hard of weak becomes strong and of that which is infinite becomes but one An. Ice Qu. Who were the first that brought Tobacco into England An. It was first brought hither by the Mariners of Sir Francis Drake Anno 1585. but brought into more request and custom by Sir Walter Rawleigh who is reported to have taken two pipes thereof as he went to execution This Drug as it hath found many friends so hath it met with divers enemies who report it not only consumptive to the purse but that it impaireth the inward parts corrupteth the natural sweetness of the breath stupifieth the brain and is so prejudicial to the general esteem of our Countrey-men that one saith of them Anglorum corpora qui huic
fate Perceiving near worn out would needs translate 'T was a good thrifty soul and time hath bin He would well liquor'd wade through thick and thin But now hee 's gone 't is all that can be said Honest John Cobler is here-under-laid On John Taylor the water-Poet HEre lies the VVater-poet honest John VVho rowed on the streams of Helicon VVhere having many Rocks and dangers past He at the Haven of Heaven arriv'd at last On a Man and his Wife buried together REader cease thy pace and stay Hearken unto what we say As you are such once were we As we are such shall you be Then provide whilst time ye have To come Godly unto your grave An ancient Epitaph on an Earl of Devonshire HOstay who lies here I the good Earl of Devonshire And Mand my VVife that lov'd full dear VVe lived LXV year VVhat we spent we had VVhat we gave we have VVhat we lent we lost On John Lilburn UNtimely cause so late and late because To some much mischief it no sooner was ●s John departed and is Lilburn gone Farewel to both to Lilburn and to John Yet being dead take this advice from me Let them not both in one Grave buried be Lay John here and Lilburn thereabout For if they both should meet they would fall out On Hugh Peters HEre lies the first and last edition Of Hugh the Teacher of Sedition VVhose fatal thread that thread of Life VVas cut in two by Squire Dun's Knife His Iests and Drols could not him save To go untimely to his Grave Mean time Tyburn felt the loss That he was hanged at Charing-Cross On VVilliam Summers King Henry the Eights Jester STay Traveller guess who lies here I tell the neither Lord nor Peer ●o Knight no Gentleman of note ●hat boasts him of his ancient Coat VVhich Heralds curiously emblazon For men well skill'd therein to gaze on ●now then that this was no such man ●nd I 'le express him as I can He that beneath this Tomb-stone lies ●ome call'd fool some held him wise ●or which who better proof can bring ●hen to be favour'd by a King ●nd yet again we may misdoubt him A King hath alwaies fools about him Is he more Idiot than the rest Who in a guarded coat can jest Or can he wisdoms honor gain That is all bravery and no brain Since no such things wit truly bred I' th' habit lies not but i' th' head But whether he was Fool or Knave He now lies sleeping in his Grave Who never in his life found match Unless the Cardinals fool call'd Patch Of whom some Courtiers who did see Them two alone might say We three And 't may be fear'd it is a phrase That may be used still in these days VVell more of him what should I say Both fools and wise men turn to clay And this is all we have to trust That there 's no difference in their dust Rest quiet then beneath this stone To whom late Archy was a drone Stultorum plenasunt omnia On Hobson the merry Londoner HEre Hobson the merry Londoner do● lie And if that you would know the reas●● wh● It was because when as his Jests grew dry He thereupon took pet and so did die On a very fat Man UNder this same stone Here fast sleepeth one And that is not two Yet was without doubt Far bigger about Than both I and you His Kidneys encreast So much that his Waste Was hooped all round But his Girdle Death cuts And down fell his Guts 'Bout his heels to the ground On an Usurer HEre lies at least ten in the hundred Shackled up both hands and feet That at such as lent Money gratis wonder'd The gain of Usury was so sweet But thus being now of life bereaven 'T is a hundred to ten he 's scarce gone to Heaven On a Miller DEath without question was as bold as brief When he kill'd two in one Miller and thief On a Taylor who dyed of a Stitch. Here Stich the Taylor in his grave doth lye Who by a Stich did live and by it dye On Death THe death of all men is the total sum The Period unto which we all must come He lives but a short life that lives the longest And he is weak in death in life was strongest Our life 's like Cobwebs be we ne're so gay And death the Broom which sweeps us all away RIDDLES or dark Propositions ' oftentimes used in Discourse Riddle 1. UNto the Exchange I went some knacks there for to buy Within a Cloyster there was pon't a Monster certainly Feet and hands it had full eight Four eyes clear of sight Four ears whereby to hear And two bodies exceeding clear Kesolution It was an Exchange woman big with Child Riddle 2. I went to the wood and I got it I sat me down and I sought it I kept it still against my will And so by force home I brought it Resolution It was a man that had a thorn in his foot Riddle 3 A Beggar once exceeding poor A penny praid me give him And deeply vow'd nere to ask more And I nere more to give him Next day he beg'd again I gave Yet both of us our oaths did save Resolv He gave him but a penny Riddle 4. Beyond Sea there is an Oak and in that Oak's an Nest and in that Nest an Egg and in that Egg there is a Yolk which calleth together all Christian folk Resolution The Oak is the Church the nest is the Belfrey the Egg is the Bell and the Yolk the Clapper Riddle 5. In thickest Woods I hunt with Beagles ten After the chase which when I do descry I dispossess me of not useful then And what I take not only that keep I. Resolution One scratching his head with both his hands Riddle 6. I went and I went I cannot tell whether I met and I met with I cannot tell who I had a gift given me I shall never forgo and yet I came a true maid home Resolution It is a Child went to be Christened Riddle 7. What is that is as white as snow And yet as black as any Crow And more plyant than a wand Tyed in a silken band And every day a Princes Peer Look on it with a mirth that 's clear Resolution It is a Book tyed with a silken lace Whose paper is as white as snow Ink as black as any Crow And leaves more pliant than any wand Riddle 8. My Coat is green and I can prate Of divers things within my grate In such a prison I am set That hath more Trap-holes than a Net Resolution A Parrot in a Cage of wyre Riddle 9. There was a Bird of great renown Useful in City and in Town None work like unto him can do He 's Yellow Black Red and Green A very pretty Bird I ween Yet he is both fierce and fell I count him wise that can this tell Resolution The painful Bee Riddle 10. I am called by the name of a man