may_v not_o happen_v to_o i_o as_o it_o do_v to_o lucifer_n who_o lose_v all_o by_o his_o own_o fault_n do_v not_o permit_v this_o o_o my_o lord_n i_o humble_o pray_v thou_o even_o by_o all_o that_o which_o thou_o be_v for_o it_o be_v no_o small_a fear_n which_o i_o have_v sometime_o though_o yet_o at_o other_o time_n yea_o and_o usual_o the_o mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n give_v i_o a_o very_a confident_a hope_n that_o since_o he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o draw_v i_o out_o of_o so_o many_o sin_n he_o will_v not_o forsake_v i_o so_o now_o as_o to_o let_v i_o be_v lose_v and_o this_o do_v i_o humble_o pray_v your_o reverence_n that_o you_o will_v ever_o desire_v in_o my_o behalf_n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o think_v that_o those_o precedent_a favour_n be_v not_o so_o very_o great_a as_o this_o which_o i_o will_v now_o apply_v myself_o to_o relate_v and_o that_o for_o many_o reason_n &_o many_o blessing_n also_o and_o in_o particular_a for_o that_o great_a courage_n &_o strength_n which_o have_v still_o remain_v in_o i_o upon_o that_o account_n and_o therefore_o if_o those_o former_a may_v be_v consider_v every_o one_o by_o itself_o this_o other_o which_o i_o be_o go_v to_o relate_v will_v be_v find_v to_o be_v so_o very_o great_a as_o that_o there_o will_v be_v no_o comparison_n at_o all_o between_o they_o i_o be_v one_o day_n and_o the_o same_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v upon_o the_o vigil_n of_o pentecost_n or_o whitsuntide_n after_o mass_n and_o i_o go_v to_o a_o more_o remote_a place_n where_o i_o often_o use_v to_o pray_v and_o i_o begin_v to_o read_v in_o a_o certain_a book_n of_o this_o feast_n which_o have_v be_v write_v by_o a_o carthusian_n and_o meet_v there_o with_o those_o sign_n which_o both_o beginner_n and_o proficient_n and_o perfect_a soul_n use_v to_o have_v and_o how_o they_o may_v come_v to_o understand_v whether_o the_o holie-ghost_n do_v inhabit_v their_o heart_n or_o no_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o have_v read_v these_o three_o state_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o almighty_a god_n through_o his_o goodness_n do_v not_o leave_v or_o fail_v to_o be_v present_a with_o i_o after_o a_o particular_a manner_n for_o as_o much_o as_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o understand_v and_o whilst_o i_o be_v praise_v his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o that_o blessing_n i_o remember_v that_o i_o have_v read_v the_o same_o thing_n former_o when_o i_o want_v very_o much_o of_o that_o condition_n of_o mind_n and_o then_o i_o see_v that_o i_o want_v it_o as_o plain_o as_o now_o i_o understand_v the_o direct_a contrary_n concern_v myself_o but_o thus_o i_o come_v to_o know_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v do_v i_o and_o from_o thence_o i_o grow_v also_o to_o consider_v the_o place_n which_o my_o soul_n have_v deserve_v in_o hell_n for_o my_o sin_n and_o i_o give_v great_a praise_n to_o almighty_a god_n in_o regard_n that_o now_o i_o think_v my_o soul_n be_v so_o extreme_o change_v that_o i_o can_v hardly_o almost_o conceive_v it_o to_o be_v the_o very_a selfsame_a thing_n which_o it_o have_v be_v before_o be_v then_o in_o this_o consideration_n there_o come_v a_o great_a impulse_n or_o impetuositie_n upon_o i_o without_o my_o be_v able_a to_o understand_v the_o occasion_n thereof_o i_o think_v my_o very_a soul_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o get_v instant_o out_o of_o my_o body_n for_o now_o she_o can_v not_o possible_o contain_v herself_o any_o long_o nor_o find_v she_o herself_o at_o that_o time_n to_o be_v able_a to_o stay_v any_o long_o here_o in_o the_o painful_a expectation_n of_o so_o great_a a_o good_n now_o this_o be_v so_o excessive_a a_o impulse_n or_o impetuositie_n that_o i_o can_v not_o possible_o tell_v even_o what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o nor_o so_o much_o as_o what_o i_o ail_v so_o extreme_o be_v i_o grow_v to_o be_v in_o disorder_n and_o though_o i_o be_v sit_v then_o yet_o be_v i_o not_o able_a even_o to_o sit_v and_o so_o i_o apply_v myself_o a_o little_a to_o lean_v for_o i_o find_v that_o all_o my_o natural_a force_n begin_v to_o fail_v i_o but_o perceave_v myself_o to_o be_v in_o this_o case_n i_o see_v a_o dove_n upon_o my_o own_o head_n but_o such_o a_o dove_n as_o be_v very_o different_a from_o they_o of_o this_o world_n for_o she_o have_v not_o of_o our_o kind_n of_o feather_n but_o the_o wing_n be_v as_o of_o certain_a little_a shell_n which_o dar_v a_o huge_a splendour_n from_o themselves_o this_o dove_n be_v much_o great_a than_o any_o ordinary_a dove_n and_o i_o thought_n i_o hear_v a_o noise_n which_o she_o make_v with_o her_o wing_n for_o she_o be_v flutter_v about_o the_o space_n of_o a_o aut_fw-la maria._n but_o my_o soul_n be_v already_o in_o such_o condition_n that_o grow_v to_o loose_v herself_o she_o also_o lose_v the_o sight_n of_o the_o dove_n my_o spirit_n do_v then_o begin_v to_o quiet_v itself_o upon_o the_o entertain_n of_o such_o a_o guest_n as_o she_o have_v get_v though_o yet_o for_o my_o part_n i_o imagine_v that_o so_o wondrous_a a_o encounter_n and_o accident_n as_o that_o be_v may_v well_o have_v disquiet_v and_o fright_v it_o but_o she_o begin_v already_o to_o enjoy_v lay_v quick_o all_o fear_n aside_o and_o together_o with_o the_o self_n same_o joy_n grow_v to_o have_v quietness_n withal_o but_o yet_o still_o remain_v in_o the_o rapt_v now_o the_o glory_n of_o this_o rapt_v be_v extreme_o great_a and_o i_o remain_v during_o the_o most_o part_n of_o the_o whole_a festivitie_n of_o pentecost_n so_o stun_v and_o even_o as_o it_o be_v besort_a and_o befool_v that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o dot_v with_o myself_o nor_o be_v i_o able_a by_o any_o mean_n to_o understand_v how_o so_o high_a and_o great_a a_o favour_n as_o this_o be_v can_v possible_o find_v a_o rest_a place_n in_o i_o i_o neither_o hear_v nor_o see_v in_o effect_n by_o reason_n of_o the_o great_a excess_n of_o my_o interior_a joy_n i_o understand_v how_o from_o that_o day_n forward_o my_o soul_n remain_v with_o a_o very_a great_a increase_n of_o improvement_n by_o enjoy_v a_o more_o sublime_a love_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o that_o my_o virtue_n also_o have_v gain_v a_o great_a increase_n of_o strength_n now_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v and_o praise_v for_o all_o eternity_n amen_n i_o see_v also_o at_o another_o time_n the_o same_o dove_n upon_o the_o head_n of_o a_o certain_a father_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n save_o that_o i_o think_v both_o the_o beam_n and_o the_o brightness_n of_o the_o very_a wing_n do_v spread_v and_o extend_v themselves_o much_o further_o and_o it_o be_v give_v i_o then_o to_o understand_v that_o he_o be_v to_o win_v soul_n to_o god_n another_o time_n i_o see_v our_o bless_a lady_n put_v a_o white_a long_a garment_n upon_o the_o back_n of_o a_o certain_a graduate_n of_o the_o same_o order_n of_o who_o i_o have_v speak_v former_o diverse_a time_n and_o she_o tell_v i_o that_o she_o have_v give_v he_o that_o mantle_n for_o have_v assist_v in_o the_o business_n of_o this_o house_n and_o that_o his_o soul_n shall_v be_v defend_v and_o preserve_v for_o the_o future_a in_o such_o purity_n as_o that_o he_o shall_v not_o fall_v into_o mortal_a sinne._n and_o i_o assure_v myself_o it_o prove_v so_o for_o he_o die_v within_o few_o year_n after_o yea_o and_o he_o do_v both_o line_n and_o die_v with_o so_o great_a per_n nance_n and_o sanctity_n that_o there_o can_v be_v no_o doubt_n thereof_o for_o any_o thing_n that_o we_o be_v able_a to_o understand_v and_o a_o certain_a religious_a man_n who_o have_v be_v at_o his_o death_n tell_v i_o that_o s._n thomas_n of_o aquin_n have_v be_v with_o he_o and_o that_o he_o die_v both_o with_o great_a joy_n and_o with_o desire_n also_o to_o be_v deliver_v from_o this_o bannishment_n wherein_o he_o be_v since_o that_o time_n he_o have_v appear_v to_o i_o in_o very_a much_o glory_n and_o tell_v i_o diverse_a thing_n he_o be_v a_o man_n of_o so_o great_a prayer_n that_o when_o a_o little_a before_o he_o die_v he_o will_v glad_o have_v forbear_v the_o exercise_n thereof_o through_o his_o great_a weakness_n he_o be_v not_o able_a to_o do_v it_o for_o even_o then_o he_o have_v many_o rapt_n he_o write_v to_o i_o a_o little_a before_o he_o die_v about_o what_o course_n i_o think_v he_o be_v best_a to_o take_v for_o help_v because_o ever_o as_o soon_o as_o he_o have_v do_v mass_n he_o use_v to_o fall_v into_o rapt_n which_o will_v last_v long_o without_o his_o be_v able_a to_o forbear_v they_o but_o our_o lord_n give_v he_o at_o length_n the_o reward_n of_o the_o great_a service_n he_o have_v do_v he_o during_o his_o whole_a life_n of_o
not_o be_v able_a to_o think_v of_o any_o thing_n for_o this_o be_v that_o of_o which_o i_o speak_v most_o that_o namely_o i_o can_v not_o think_v of_o any_o thing_n in_o distinct_a manner_n when_o i_o have_v that_o prayer_n and_o i_o mark_v and_o note_v those_o place_n with_o certain_a line_n wherein_o that_o passage_n be_v contain_v and_o then_o i_o deliver_v he_o the_o book_n to_o the_o end_n that_o both_o himself_o and_o that_o holy_a priest_n and_o servant_n of_o god_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o may_v consider_v it_o and_o make_v i_o know_v what_o i_o be_v to_o do_v and_o whither_o perhaps_o they_o may_v be_v of_o opinion_n that_o i_o be_v to_o give-ove_a my_o prayer_n altogether_o for_o in_o fine_a to_o what_o purpose_n be_v i_o to_o thrust_v myself_o into_o those_o danger_n if_o now_o after_o i_o have_v use_v this_o prayer_n for_o almost_o twenty_o year_n together_o i_o have_v make_v no_o other_o benefit_n thereof_o but_o to_o be_v subject_a to_o the_o deceit_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o that_o therefore_o it_o be_v better_o for_o i_o not_o to_o use_v this_o prayer_n at_o all_o though_o yet_o it_o be_v also_o true_a that_o this_o show_v itself_o as_o a_o very_a sad_a and_o hard_a case_n to_o i_o since_o already_o i_o have_v find_v by_o experience_n how_o ill_o it_o go_v with_o my_o soul_n without_o the_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n so_o that_o now_o i_o can_v see_v nothing_o but_o misery_n on_o all_o side_n like_o one_o who_o be_v cast_v into_o a_o river_n and_o to_o which_o side_n soever_o he_o shall_v go_v he_o may_v still_o have_v the_o more_o danger_n to_o fear_v and_o be_v so_o come_v to_o the_o very_a point_n as_o it_o be_v of_o drown_v this_o be_v a_o very_a mighty_a affliction_n and_o of_o this_o kind_n i_o have_v endure_v many_o as_o i_o shall_v declare_v afterward_o for_o though_o perhaps_o it_o may_v seem_v not_o to_o import_v yet_o peradventure_o it_o may_v indeed_o prove_v to_o be_v of_o use_n towards_o the_o understanding_n of_o how_o a_o spirit_n be_v to_o be_v try_v for_o certain_o the_o affliction_n which_o use_v to_o be_v endure_v in_o these_o case_n be_v very_o great_a and_o there_o be_v need_n of_o a_o nice_a hand_n and_o of_o a_o warye_a foot_n especial_o when_o man_n treat_v with_o woman_n for_o our_o weakness_n be_v very_o great_a and_o much_o mischief_n may_v chance_v to_o arrive_v by_o tell_v we_o that_o such_o or_o such_o a_o thing_n be_v certain_o the_o devil_n without_o consider_v it_o first_o very_o well_o and_o remove_v we_o from_o those_o danger_n which_o may_v occur_v and_o advise_v we_o to_o keep_v thing_n very_o private_a and_o that_o they_o also_o be_v careful_a thereof_o themselves_o for_o this_o be_v fit_a and_o herein_o it_o be_v i_o who_o speak_v as_o one_o who_o have_v endure_v affliction_n enough_o for_o not_o have_v have_v fit_a person_n with_o who_o i_o may_v confer_v about_o my_o prayer_n but_o by_o ask_v first_o one_o and_o then_o another_o what_o may_v do_v i_o good_a which_o have_v do_v i_o hurt_n enough_o for_o now_o diverse_a thing_n have_v grow_v to_o be_v public_a which_o may_v well_o have_v remain_v very_o private_a since_o they_o be_v not_o for_o every_o body_n be_v understand_v and_o beside_o it_o may_v have_v seem_v as_o if_o they_o have_v be_v diwlge_v by_o i_o i_o well_o believe_v that_o those_o other_o do_v it_o without_o any_o fault_n in_o they_o but_o that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o permit_v it_o to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v suffer_v by_o it_o i_o be_o far_o from_o say_v yea_o or_o so_o much_o as_o think_v as_o if_o any_o of_o they_o relate_v any_o such_o particular_a as_o have_v pass_v from_o i_o to_o they_o in_o confession_n for_o there_o be_v no_o such_o matter_n but_o yet_o in_o regard_n it_o come_v from_o i_o to_o such_o person_n as_o to_o who_o in_o the_o way_n of_o conference_n i_o give_v account_n of_o my_o fear_n to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v assist_v i_o with_o give_v i_o light_n i_o think_v they_o may_v have_v keep_v my_o counsel_n but_o how_o soever_o i_o dare_v never_o conceal_v any_o thing_n from_o such_o person_n in_o such_o occasion_n as_o those_o i_o say_v therefore_o that_o such_o as_o i_o be_v then_o must_v be_v counsel_v with_o much_o discretion_n and_o animate_v and_o time_n must_v be_v expect_v for_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v help_v they_o as_o he_o do_v i_o which_o if_o he_o have_v not_o do_v the_o prejudice_n which_o i_o shall_v have_v suffer_v will_v have_v be_v extreme_a by_o reason_n of_o my_o be_v so_o full_a of_o apprehension_n and_o fear_n and_o especial_o consider_v to_o how_o great_a palpitation_n of_o hart_n i_o be_v subject_a i_o wonder_v how_o this_o other_o accident_n do_v i_o not_o more_o hurt_n when_o therefore_o i_o have_v deliver_v this_o book_n and_o make_v a_o relation_n of_o my_o life_n and_o of_o my_o sin_n the_o best_a i_o can_v though_o yet_o in_o gross_a for_o i_o do_v it_o not_o in_o the_o way_n of_o confession_n in_o regard_n he_o be_v a_o secular_a person_n though_o yet_o still_o i_o make_v he_o understand_v how_o wicked_a i_o be_v those_o two_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n consider_v with_o great_a charity_n and_o love_n what_o may_v be_v convenient_a for_o i_o to_o do_v now_o the_o answer_n be_v ready_a which_o i_o expect_v with_o fear_n enough_o and_o i_o have_v recommend_v myself_o at_o that_o time_n to_o many_o person_n that_o they_o may_v recommend_v i_o over_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o myself_o also_o have_v be_v much_o in_o prayer_n with_o affliction_n enough_o of_o hart_n to_o myself_o the_o cavallier_n come_v to_o i_o at_o length_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o in_o the_o opinion_n both_o of_o himself_o and_o of_o the_o other_o it_o be_v the_o devil_n and_o that_o the_o thing_n which_o will_v be_v fit_a for_o i_o to_o do_v be_v to_o treat_v about_o this_o business_n with_o a_o certain_a father_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n who_o if_o i_o will_v call_v he_o to_o i_o &_o declare_v that_o i_o be_v in_o necessity_n of_o his_o help_n will_v not_o fail_v to_o come_v and_o that_o i_o shall_v give_v he_o a_o account_n of_o my_o whole_a life_n by_o way_n of_o make_v a_o general_n confession_n as_o also_o otherwise_o of_o my_o condition_n and_o that_o i_o must_v proceed_v in_o all_o thing_n with_o much_o clearness_n and_o that_o then_o in_o virtue_n of_o the_o sacrament_n of_o confession_n almighty_a god_n will_v give_v he_o more_o light_a where_o with_o to_o direct_v i_o and_o that_o they_o be_v man_n of_o great_a experience_n in_o matter_n of_o spirit_n but_o that_o i_o shall_v do_v well_o to_o be_v very_o careful_a not_o to_o swerve_v a_o whitt_n from_o what_o he_o say_v for_o that_o i_o will_v find_v myself_o in_o much_o danger_n if_o i_o want_v one_o to_o govern_v and_o direct_v my_o soul_n as_o for_o i_o he_o put_v i_o now_o into_o so_o great_a fear_n and_o pain_n that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o and_o now_o there_o be_v nothing_o with_o i_o but_o weep_v and_o be_v one_o day_n very_o much_o afflict_v in_o a_o oratory_n i_o fall_v upon_o read_v a_o certain_a book_n which_o it_o seem_v our_o lord_n bring_v to_o my_o hand_n and_o s._n paul_n be_v cite_v there_o say_v that_o god_n be_v very_o faithful_a and_o that_o he_o never_o suffer_v they_o who_o love_v he_o to_o be_v tempt_v above_o their_o strength_n this_o comfort_v i_o very_o much_o and_o i_o begin_v to_o consider_v about_o make_v my_o general_n confession_n and_o to_o work_n put_v in_o writing_n all_o the_o sin_n and_o blessing_n with_o the_o course_n and_o proceed_v of_o my_o whole_a life_n the_o most_o clear_o that_o i_o understand_v and_o know_v how_o to_o do_v without_o leave_v any_o little_a thing_n out_o and_o i_o remember_v that_o when_o i_o read_v over_o what_o i_o have_v write_v and_o see_v so_o many_o sin_n to_o have_v be_v commit_v by_o i_o and_o in_o effect_n no_o good_a at_o all_o to_o have_v be_v do_v it_o give_v i_o a_o extreme_a affliction_n and_o sorrow_n of_o hart_n it_o also_o put_v i_o to_o some_o trouble_n that_o they_o of_o the_o house_n shall_v see_v i_o treat_v and_o converse_v with_o so_o holy_a people_n as_o they_o of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n be_v for_o i_o be_v afraid_a of_o my_o own_o wickedness_n and_o i_o thought_n i_o shall_v be_v oblige_v by_o that_o mean_n to_o be_v wicked_a no_o more_o and_o to_o give-ove_a my_o entertainment_n and_o pass-time_n and_o that_o if_o i_o do_v not_o this_o it_o will_v be_v worse_o with_o i_o so_o that_o i_o procure_v both_o with_o the_o portresse_n and_o with_o the_o sacristin_n that_o
they_o but_o all_o goodness_n and_o all_o care_n also_o of_o my_o good_a but_o pass_v on_o from_o that_o tender_a age_n to_o be_v able_a to_o begin_v to_o understand_v the_o benefit_n and_o gift_n of_o nature_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v bestow_v upon_o i_o which_o other_o esteem_v and_o say_v to_o be_v great_a in_o steed_n of_o give_v he_o thanks_n for_o the_o same_o i_o begin_v to_o serve_v myself_o of_o they_o all_o towards_o the_o offence_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n as_o i_o shall_v now_o declare_v the_o second_o chapter_n which_o show_v how_o she_o go_v lose_v in_o the_o way_n of_o virtue_n and_o how_o very_o much_o it_o import_v to_o converse_v in_o childhood_n with_o virtuous_a person_n i_o believe_v that_o a_o certain_a thing_n whereof_o i_o will_v now_o give_v account_n begin_v to_o do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o hurt_n sometime_o i_o grow_v to_o consider_v how_o ill_o those_o parent_n do_v who_o procure_v not_o that_o their_o child_n shall_v be_v ever_o see_v example_n of_o virtue_n in_o all_o kind_n for_o though_o my_o mother_n be_v very_o eminent_a that_o way_n as_o i_o have_v say_v already_o yet_o i_o take_v not_o so_o much_o of_o that_o good_a to_o myself_o when_o first_o i_o come_v to_o the_o use_n of_o reason_n no_o nor_o almost_o even_o any_o thing_n at_o all_o and_o on_o the_o other_o side_n whatsoever_o there_o be_v of_o imperfect_a and_o ill_a do_v hurt_v i_o much_o my_o mother_n be_v very_o particular_o affect_v to_o read_v book_n of_o cavalleria_n or_o vain_a history_n but_o she_o take_v not_o so_o much_o hurt_v by_o that_o entertainment_n as_o i_o do_v because_o it_o hinder_v not_o that_o work_n the_o while_n about_o which_o she_o be_v but_o disengage_v we_o from_o other_o thing_n that_o so_o we_o may_v read_v they_o and_o perhaps_o she_o do_v it_o also_o the_o rather_o that_o she_o may_v so_o have_v her_o thought_n less_o bend_v upon_o the_o memory_n of_o the_o great_a affliction_n which_o she_o feel_v and_o to_o employ_v also_o her_o child_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o to_o divert_v they_o from_o the_o thought_n of_o worse_a thing_n my_o father_n be_v yet_o so_o much_o trouble_v at_o this_o that_o particular_a care_n be_v have_v that_o he_o may_v not_o kouw_v it_o but_o i_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n remain_v with_o the_o custom_n of_o read_v these_o book_n and_o that_o little_a fault_n of_o i_o which_o even_o i_o myself_o discern_v therein_o begin_v to_o cool_v my_o good_a desire_n and_o be_v the_o reason_n why_o i_o also_o grow_v to_o fail_v in_o the_o rest_n and_o i_o make_v myself_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v not_o very_o ill_o do_v though_o yet_o i_o spend_v many_o hour_n both_o of_o the_o day_n and_o night_n in_o so_o vain_a a_o exercise_n and_o though_o it_o be_v still_o conceal_v from_o my_o father_n but_o i_o be_v possess_v heerwith_n in_o such_o extremity_n that_o if_o perhaps_o i_o can_v not_o get_v some_o new_a book_n i_o see_v not_o how_o i_o can_v be_v in_o contentment_n i_o begin_v also_o to_o make_v myself_o fine_a and_o to_o desire_v to_o grow_v acceptable_a in_o seem_v handsome_a and_o i_o take_v much_o care_n of_o my_o hand_n and_o of_o my_o hair_n and_o to_o get_v choice_a perfume_n together_o with_o all_o those_o vanity_n which_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o incurte_n by_o this_o mean_n which_o i_o confess_v be_v enough_o in_o regard_n that_o i_o be_v very_o curious_a in_o this_o kind_n i_o have_v only_o no_o ill_a intention_n nor_o desire_v i_o upon_o any_o term_n that_o any_o creature_n shall_v offend_v almighty_a god_n upon_o any_o occasion_n of_o i_o but_o i_o continue_v in_o so_o great_a a_o curiosity_n for_o daintiness_n and_o cleanlines_n as_o be_v even_o beyond_o all_o reason_n and_o those_o thing_n which_o for_o many_o year_n i_o conceive_v to_o be_v of_o no_o sin_n at_o all_o i_o find_v now_o how_o very_o ill_o they_o be_v now_o i_o have_v certain_a cousin-german_n who_o frequent_v my_o father_n house_n in_o familiar_a manner_n no_o other_o have_v any_o such_o liberty_n as_o that_o for_o my_o father_n be_v very_o wary_a and_o reserve_v in_o this_o kind_n but_o i_o will_v to_o god_n he_o have_v also_o be_v so_o in_o respect_n of_o my_o cousin_n because_o now_o i_o discern_v the_o danger_n that_o it_o be_v for_o such_o as_o be_v to_o begin_v to_o plant_v virtue_n in_o the_o soul_n to_o treat_v with_o person_n who_o know_v not_o in_o true_a account_n how_o great_a the_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n be_v but_o rather_o be_v incline_v to_o awake_v &_o stir_v other_o up_o to_o cast_v themselves_o also_o into_o the_o same_o danger_n these_o kinsman_n of_o i_o be_v in_o effect_n of_o my_o own_o age_n or_o rather_o a_o little_o elder_a than_o i._o we_o be_v usual_o together_o and_o they_o carry_v great_a affection_n to_o i_o and_o in_o all_o thing_n which_o give_v they_o contentment_n i_o be_v willing_a to_o uphold_v the_o discourse_n and_o give_v ear_n to_o the_o success_n of_o their_o love_n to_o other_o and_o such_o other_o foolery_n as_o be_v good_a for_o nothing_o yea_o and_o which_o be_v worse_o i_o grow_v by_o these_o mean_n to_o lay_v my_o soul_n open_a to_o be_v look_v upon_o by_o certain_a idle_a thought_n which_o be_v the_o cause_n of_o all_o the_o ensue_a ill_a if_o i_o be_v worthy_a to_o advise_v parent_n i_o will_v wish_v they_o to_o take_v great_a heed_n what_o kind_n of_o person_n they_o admit_v to_o converse_v with_o their_o child_n for_o much_o harm_n may_v grow_v from_o thence_o since_o the_o natural_a condition_n of_o mankind_n will_v never_o climb_v up_o so_o easy_o towards_o good_a as_o decline_v towards_o ill_n at_o least_o it_o happen_v so_o to_o i_o i_o have_v a_o sister_n much_o elder_a than_o myself_o of_o who_o purity_n and_o goodness_n whereof_o she_o have_v great_a store_n i_o take_v no_o part_n but_o i_o fail_v not_o to_o take_v all_o hurt_n from_o a_o certain_a other_o kinswoman_n of_o i_o who_o have_v also_o familiar_a entry_n into_o our_o house_n now_o she_o be_v of_o so_o light_a and_o guiddie_a a_o conversation_n that_o my_o mother_n have_v use_v several_a diligence_n to_o divert_v she_o from_o familiarity_n with_o us._n for_o it_o seem_v she_o do_v even_o half_o foresee_v the_o mischief_n which_o be_v to_o grow_v upon_o i_o by_o her_o mean_n and_o yet_o on_o the_o other_o side_n the_o occasion_n be_v so_o great_a &_o fair_a whereby_o she_o be_v to_o enter_v that_o even_o my_o mother_n can_v not_o tell_v how_o to_o decline_v it_o with_o this_o creature_n as_o i_o be_v say_v do_v i_o come_v to_o have_v much_o delight_n to_o entertain_v myself_o with_o she_o be_v my_o conversation_n and_o my_o discourse_n because_o i_o find_v that_o she_o employ_v herself_o willing_o upon_o all_o those_o way_n of_o pass_v my_o time_n wherein_o i_o delight_v most_o yea_o and_o sometime_o she_o will_v embark_v i_o in_o they_o of_o herself_o give_v i_o part_n and_o knowledge_n of_o all_o her_o own_o conversation_n and_o vanity_n till_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v familiar_a with_o she_o when_o i_o think_v i_o be_v some_o fourteen_o year_n old_a or_o rather_o a_o little_a more_o i_o mean_v till_o she_o have_v wrought_v herself_o into_o so_o much_o friendship_n with_o i_o as_o to_o make_v i_o partake_v the_o knowledge_n of_o all_o her_o little_a affair_n i_o be_o much_o incline_v to_o think_v that_o i_o have_v never_o forfeit_v the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n by_o any_o mortal_a sin_n nor_o ever_o forsake_v the_o fear_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n though_o yet_o still_o i_o fear_v more_o to_o loose_v my_o honour_n this_o last_o point_n be_v of_o power_n enough_o with_o i_o for_o not_o permit_v i_o to_o loose_v it_o outright_o nor_o do_v i_o conceive_v that_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n can_v make_v i_o change_v that_o resolution_n nor_o be_v there_o any_o person_n alive_a who_o can_v win_v i_o to_o yield_v myself_o up_o to_o that_o misery_n i_o will_v to_o god_n i_o have_v so_o abound_v in_o strength_n &_o courage_n as_o not_o to_o make_v one_o pace_n against_o the_o honour_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n as_o even_o a_o kind_n of_o natural_a constitution_n of_o mind_n confirm_v i_o towards_o the_o not_o lose_v that_o wherein_o i_o hold_v the_o honour_n of_o this_o world_n to_o consist_v though_o yet_o i_o consider_v not_o the_o while_n that_o i_o lose_v even_o that_o also_o many_o way_n for_o the_o vain_a uphold_v hereof_o i_o have_v even_o a_o extreme_a resolution_n though_o yet_o for_o the_o proper_a and_o fit_a mean_n which_o be_v necessary_a for_o preserve_v it_o i_o use_v none_o at_o all_o only_o i_o be_v earnest_a in_o take_v care_n that_o i_o may_v by_o
give_v i_o light_n by_o her_o mean_n as_o i_o will_v now_o declare_v the_o three_o chapter_n wherein_o she_o treat_v how_o her_o fall_v into_o virtuous_a company_n be_v the_o occasion_n of_o she_o return_v to_o awake_a good_a desire_n in_o herself_o and_o how_o our_o lord_n begin_v to_o give_v she_o some_o light_n of_o the_o error_n wherein_o she_o have_v former_o be_v but_o now_o i_o begin_v to_o take_v gust_n in_o the_o good_a and_o holy_a conversation_n of_o this_o religious_a woman_n be_v joy_v to_o hear_v how_o well_o she_o be_v wont_a to_o speak_v of_o almighty_a god_n for_o she_o be_v both_o very_a holy_a and_o very_o discreet_a of_o this_o i_o conceive_v &_o confess_v i_o do_v never_o at_o any_o time_n give_v over_o to_o â—â—â—â—ery_o glad_a to_o hear_v she_o begin_v one_o day_n to_o tell_v nâ—â—â—â—ow_o she_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n by_o the_o only_o read_v of_o that_o place_n of_o the_o gospel_n that_o many_o be_v call_v but_o few_o be_v choose_v and_o she_o speak_v much_o to_o i_o of_o the_o reward_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v wont_a to_o give_v to_o such_o as_o leave_v all_o thing_n for_o the_o love_n of_o he_o in_o a_o word_n this_o good_a society_n of_o she_o begin_v quick_o to_o put_v to_o flight_n those_o custom_n and_o condivons_a which_o ill_a company_n have_v bring_v upon_o i_o and_o restore_v the_o desire_n of_o eternal_a blessing_n to_o my_o thought_n yea_o and_o to_o strip_v i_o in_o some_o part_n of_o that_o great_a enmity_n and_o opposition_n against_o becominge_v a_o religious_a woman_n which_o former_o have_v be_v very_o extreme_a but_o now_o if_o i_o chance_v to_o see_v any_o one_o who_o shed_v many_o tear_n for_o her_o sin_n or_o else_o that_o she_o abound_v in_o other_o virtue_n i_o carry_v a_o kind_n of_o envy_n towards_o she_o though_o as_o for_o this_o hart_n of_o i_o it_o be_v so_o very_o hard_o and_o even_o impenetrable_a in_o this_o kind_n that_o if_o i_o shall_v have_v read_v over_o the_o whole_a history_n of_o the_o paision_n of_o our_o bless_a saviour_n i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o shed_v a_o tear_n and_o this_o put_v i_o to_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o pain_n in_o this_o monastery_n do_v i_o remain_v a_o year_n and_o a_o half_a and_o i_o be_v much_o improve_v there_o i_o begin_v to_o say_v many_o vocal_a prayer_n and_o i_o procure_v of_o all_o the_o religious_a that_o they_o will_v recommend_v i_o much_o to_o almighty_a god_n to_o the_o end_n that_o he_o may_v place_v i_o in_o such_o a_o way_n of_o life_n as_o wherein_o i_o may_v be_v likely_a to_o serve_v he_o best_o but_o still_o i_o do_v even_o desire_n that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n and_o that_o this_o may_v not_o be_v the_o state_n which_o god_n will_v give_v i_o though_o yet_o still_o i_o be_v afraid_a to_o be_v marry_v but_o now_o at_o the_o end_n of_o the_o time_n when_o i_o be_v there_o i_o already_o begin_v to_o be_v more_o incline_v to_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n though_o yet_o not_o in_o that_o very_a house_n where_o i_o be_v then_o in_o regard_n of_o those_o action_n of_o extraordinary_a virtue_n and_o penance_n which_o i_o understand_v they_o use_v and_o which_o seem_v to_o i_o of_o too_o much_o rigour_n yet_o there_o be_v some_o of_o the_o young_a sort_n of_o themselves_o who_o encourage_v i_o towards_o those_o formet_fw-la more_o imperfect_a thought_n for_o if_o they_o all_o have_v be_v of_o one_o opinion_n it_o will_v have_v be_v much_o to_o my_o true_a advantage_n i_o have_v also_o a_o great_a friend_n in_o another_o monastery_n and_o this_o be_v partly_o a_o reason_n why_o if_o i_o will_v be_v a_o religious_a woman_n i_o will_v not_o yet_o be_v so_o in_o any_o other_o place_n then_o where_o that_o friend_n of_o i_o be_v for_o i_o carry_v more_o respect_n to_o my_o sensuality_n and_o vanity_n then_o to_o the_o benefit_n which_o i_o may_v bring_v to_o my_o soul_n these_o good_a thought_n of_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n be_v often_o come_v to_o i_o by_o time_n but_o they_o be_v instant_o send_v away_o again_o and_o i_o can_v not_o yet_o persuade_v myself_o to_o be_v one_o at_o this_o time_n though_o myself_o be_v not_o altogether_o without_o care_n of_o my_o cure_n yet_o our_o lord_n be_v much_o full_a of_o desire_n to_o dispose_v i_o for_o that_o state_n which_o will_v be_v best_a for_o my_o soul_n he_o then_o give_v i_o so_o great_a a_o sickness_n that_o i_o be_v force_v to_o return_v home_o to_o my_o father_n house_n and_o when_v once_o i_o be_v recover_v they_o conduct_v i_o to_o give_v a_o visit_n to_o one_o of_o my_o sister_n in_o the_o country_n for_o the_o love_n which_o i_o bear_v she_o be_v extreme_a and_o by_o her_o will_n i_o shall_v never_o have_v part_v from_o she_o her_o husband_n do_v also_o love_v i_o very_o much_o and_o at_o least_o he_o regale_v i_o high_o and_o even_o for_o this_o also_o be_o i_o oblige_v to_o our_o bless_a lord_n since_o in_o all_o place_n where_o i_o have_v be_v i_o be_v ever_o treat_v after_o this_o manner_n notwithstanding_o that_o i_o have_v be_v as_o unthankful_a to_o he_o for_o it_o as_o for_o his_o other_o favour_n now_o by_o the_o way_n towards_o my_o sister_n i_o have_v a_o uncle_n my_o father_n brother_n who_o be_v a_o very_a advise_a man_n and_o of_o great_a virtue_n he_o be_v a_o widower_n and_o our_o lord_n go_v dispose_v he_o for_o his_o own_o service_n and_o when_o he_o grow_v on_o to_o be_v of_o year_n he_o leave_v the_o world_n and_o become_v a_o religious_a man_n and_o end_v his_o life_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o i_o believe_v he_o be_v now_o enjoy_v the_o vision_n of_o almighty_a god_n but_o he_o will_v needs_o have_v i_o as_o i_o pass_v remain_v with_o he_o some_o day_n his_o usual_a exercise_n be_v to_o read_v good_a book_n in_o the_o spanish_a tongue_n and_o his_o discourse_n be_v most_o common_o of_o god_n and_o of_o the_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n and_o those_o book_n will_v he_o also_o make_v i_o read_v and_o though_o i_o have_v no_o great_a like_n to_o this_o yet_o i_o pretend_v that_o i_o have_v for_o in_o the_o point_n of_o give_v contentment_n to_o other_o i_o have_v ever_o a_o extreme_a kind_n of_o care_n how_o dear_a soever_o it_o may_v cost_v i_o so_o that_o the_o same_o thing_n which_o have_v be_v virtue_n in_o other_o be_v a_o great_a fault_n in_o i_o because_o i_o often_o carry_v myself_o therein_o with_o much_o indiscretion_n o_o my_o god_n by_o what_o way_n do_v thy_o divine_a majesty_n go_v dispose_v i_o for_o that_o state_n in_o which_o thou_o be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v serve_v thou_o since_o thou_o do_v even_o force_v i_o thus_o as_o it_o be_v against_o my_o will_n to_o force_v myself_o be_v thou_o bless_v for_o all_o eternity_n amen_o though_o i_o stay_v not_o long_o in_o that_o place_n yet_o by_o the_o effect_n which_o the_o word_n of_o almighty_a god_n wrought_v in_o my_o hart_n whether_o they_o be_v read_v or_o hear_v by_o i_o together_o with_o so_o good_a company_n as_o that_o be_v wherein_o i_o find_v myself_o then_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v this_o truth_n which_o i_o have_v learn_v when_o i_o be_v yet_o but_o a_o child_n that_o namely_o all_o be_v nothing_o and_o how_o great_a the_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n be_v and_o that_o all_o will_v be_v short_o at_o a_o end_n and_o that_o i_o may_v just_o fear_v least_o die_v in_o that_o condition_n wherein_o i_o be_v i_o may_v chance_v go_v drop_v down_o into_o hell_n and_o though_o my_o will_n do_v not_o yet_o entire_o resolve_v i_o to_o make_v myself_o a_o religious_a woman_n yet_o i_o well_o discern_v that_o it_o be_v the_o better_a and_o more_o secure_a state_n and_o so_o by_o little_a and_o little_a i_o determine_v to_o force_v my_o hart_n to_o embrace_v it_o in_o this_o battle_n i_o remain_v three_o month_n constrain_a myself_o at_o last_o by_o this_o follow_a discourse_n and_o reason_n that_o the_o trouble_n and_o affliction_n of_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n can_v not_o be_v great_a than_o the_o pain_n of_o purgatory_n and_o that_o i_o have_v so_o well_o deserve_v hell_n it_o be_v not_o to_o be_v esteem_v too_o much_o if_o i_o remain_v while_o i_o shall_v live_v here_o as_o in_o purgatory_n so_o that_o afterward_o i_o may_v go_v straight_o to_o heaven_n for_o this_o be_v my_o desire_n but_o yet_o even_o in_o this_o inclination_n of_o i_o to_o take_v this_o state_n upon_o i_o i_o doubt_v i_o be_v more_o move_v by_o a_o kind_n of_o servile_a fear_n then_o by_o love._n the_o devil_n in_o the_o mean_a time_n represent_v to_o i_o that_o i_o will_v never_o
choose_v for_o the_o help_a of_o other_o though_o yet_o still_o it_o must_v be_v consider_v that_o this_o strength_n proceed_v not_o from_o themselves_o but_o when_o once_o our_o bless_a lord_n bring_v a_o soul_n so_o near_o himself_o as_o i_o have_v show_v he_o go_v by_o little_a and_o little_a communicate_v very_o great_a secret_n to_o she_o and_o here_o come_v the_o true_a revelation_n in_o this_o kind_n of_o extasis_fw-la and_o other_o great_a favour_n and_o vision_n and_o all_o these_o thing_n serve_v to_o make_v this_o soul_n both_o more_o humble_a and_o more_o strong_a and_o to_o give_v her_o grace_n to_o hold_v all_o kind_n of_o worldly_a thing_n in_o no_o account_n as_o also_o to_o know_v more_o clear_o the_o greatness_n of_o that_o reward_n which_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v provide_v for_o such_o as_o serve_v he_o i_o humble_o befeech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o the_o excessive_a bounty_n which_o he_o have_v vouchsafe_v to_o show_v towards_o this_o miserable_a sinful_a creature_n may_v prove_v some_o part_n of_o a_o motive_n to_o make_v they_o who_o shall_v read_v this_o discourse_n encourage_v and_o animate_v themselves_o to_o leave_v all_o thing_n yea_o even_o absolute_o all_o for_o almighty_a god_n since_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o give_v so_o complete_a reward_n for_o we_o see_v and_o that_o clear_o enough_o what_o advantage_n and_o favour_n and_o retribution_n he_o be_v please_v to_o allow_v even_o in_o this_o life_n to_o such_o as_o serve_v he_o and_o what_o then_o will_v he_o be_v sure_a to_o do_v for_o they_o in_o the_o next_o the_o two_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n in_o which_o she_o treat_v of_o how_o secure_a a_o way_n it_o be_v for_o person_n who_o give_v themselves_o to_o contemplation_n not_o to_o raiseup_a their_o spirit_n to_o high_a thing_n unless_o our_o lord_n raise_v they_o up_o and_o that_o the_o humanity_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v in_o deed_n to_o be_v the_o mean_n towards_o the_o high_a contemplation_n of_o all_o other_o she_o speak_v also_o of_o a_o error_n wherein_o once_o she_o be_v this_o chapter_n contain_v matter_n of_o much_o profit_n i_o will_v here_o declare_v a_o certain_a thing_n which_o be_v in_o my_o opinion_n very_o important_a and_o if_o your_o reverence_n think_v fit_a it_o may_v serve_v you_o for_o a_o word_n of_o advice_n yea_o and_o perhaps_o you_o may_v grow_v even_o to_o have_v need_n thereof_o i_o have_v read_v in_o some_o book_n write_v of_o prayer_n which_o affirm_v that_o how_o soever_o the_o soul_n be_v not_o able_a of_o itself_o to_o arrive_v to_o that_o state_n whereof_o i_o speak_v before_o because_o all_o that_o be_v supernatural_a which_o our_o lord_n work_v there_o yet_o she_o may_v be_v able_a forsooth_o to_o help_v herself_o therein_o by_o raising-up_a her_o spirit_n above_o all_o thing_n create_v and_o that_o so_o she_o have_v raise_v it_o up_o many_o year_n together_o with_o humility_n and_o have_v first_o pass_v through_o the_o purgative_n way_n and_o after_o that_o through_o the_o illuminative_a they_o advise_v in_o particular_a manner_n that_o man_n shall_v separate_v and_o abstract_n themselves_o from_o all_o kind_n of_o imagination_n or_o reflection_n upon_o corporeal_a thing_n and_o that_o so_o they_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o approach_v and_o reach_v the_o contemplation_n of_o the_o divinity_n for_o they_o say_v that_o although_o it_o be_v even_o the_o very_a humanity_n itself_o of_o christ_n our_o lord_n yet_o be_v it_o of_o some_o impediment_n to_o such_o as_o proceed_v thus_o far_o yea_o and_o that_o it_o hinder_v man_n from_o the_o most_o perfect_a kind_n of_o contemplation_n for_o the_o make_v this_o opinion_n true_a good_a they_o allege_v that_o which_o our_o lord_n say_v to_o his_o apostle_n when_o himself_o be_v ascending-up_a to_o heaven_n of_o the_o come_n of_o the_o holie-ghost_n down_o upon_o they_o which_o will_v not_o be_v accomplish_v till_o himself_o be_v retire_v out_o of_o their_o sight_n but_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o apt_a to_o conceive_v that_o if_o they_o have_v then_o have_v that_o livelie_a faith_n of_o our_o lord_n be_v be_v both_o god_n and_o man_n which_o they_o have_v after_o the_o come_n of_o the_o holy_a ghost_n his_o corporal_a presence_n will_v have_v do_v they_o no_o hurt_n at_o all_o for_o he_o hold_v no_o such_o discourse_n to_o his_o bless_a mother_n though_o she_o love_v he_o much_o more_o than_o they_o all_o but_o these_o man_n use_v to_o allege_v this_o passage_n or_o place_n of_o scripture_n because_o it_o seem_v to_o they_o in_o regard_n that_o all_o this_o action_n of_o prayer_n be_v a_o work_n of_o spirit_n that_o every_o corporeal_a object_n will_v be_v able_a to_o divert_v and_o hinder_v it_o and_o that_o forsooth_o they_o must_v consider_v themselves_o after_o a_o manner_n which_o be_v total_o independent_a upon_o creature_n and_o that_o god_n be_v alike_o near_o they_o on_o all_o side_n and_o so_o to_o see_v themselves_o ingulf_v in_o he_o be_v the_o thing_n which_o they_o shall_v endeavour_v to_o obtain_v now_o this_o do_v not_o displease_v i_o to_o be_v use_v at_o sometime_o and_o in_o some_o case_n but_o yet_o to_o deny_v ourselves_o whole_o from_o the_o person_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n and_o to_o bring_v that_o divine_a body_n of_o he_o into_o the_o account_n and_o company_n of_o these_o misery_n of_o we_o or_o even_o with_o all_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o whole_a create_a world_n i_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n endure_n and_o i_o humble_o beg_v of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o give_v myself_o to_o be_v understand_v i_o will_v not_o yet_o put_v myself_o to_o contradict_v they_o because_o they_o be_v learned_a man_n and_o spiritual_a person_n who_o fail_v not_o to_o know_v well_o what_o they_o say_v and_o it_o be_v also_o very_o true_a that_o it_o please_v almighty_a god_n to_o carry_v and_o conduct_v soul_n by_o several_a walk_n and_o way_n as_o he_o do_v i_o and_o now_o i_o will_v declare_v some_o particular_n thereof_o for_o in_o the_o rest_n i_o will_v not_o interpose_v myself_o but_o only_o speak_v of_o the_o danger_n wherein_o i_o find_v i_o be_v because_o i_o conform_v myself_o to_o what_o i_o have_v read_v i_o well_o believe_v that_o whosoever_o shall_v find_v himself_o to_o have_v arrive_v to_o the_o state_n of_o union_n and_o not_o to_o have_v pass_v further_o on_o so_o far_o as_o to_o have_v rapt_n and_o vision_n together_o with_o such_o other_o favour_n as_o our_o lord_n be_v wont_a to_o impart_v to_o soul_n may_v hold_v that_o which_o be_v speak_v of_o to_o be_v better_a as_o i_o also_o do_v but_o yet_o if_o i_o have_v continue_v therein_o i_o believe_v i_o shall_v never_o have_v arrive_v to_o that_o pitch_n wherein_o now_o i_o be_o for_o in_o my_o opinion_n it_o be_v a_o error_n other_o and_o deceit_n though_o yet_o perhaps_o it_o may_v be_v myself_o who_o be_o the_o person_n deceive_v &_o yet_o i_o will_v relate_v what_o happen_v to_o i_o whilst_o i_o be_v in_o want_n of_o a_o director_n and_o the_o while_n go_v read_v the_o book_n afforesayd_a whereby_o i_o think_v i_o grow_v to_o understand_v somewhat_o by_o little_a and_o little_a i_o come_v indeed_o to_o find_v afterward_o that_o if_o our_o lord_n have_v not_o be_v my_o teacher_n i_o shall_v have_v learn_v very_o little_a by_o those_o book_n for_o real_o it_o be_v nothing_o which_o i_o understand_v till_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o make_v i_o know_v it_o by_o experience_n nor_o indeed_o do_v i_o know_v what_o i_o do_v but_o when_o afterward_o i_o come_v so_o far_o as_o to_o have_v some_o kind_n of_o prayer_n which_o be_v supernatural_a i_o mean_v the_o prayer_n of_o quiet_a i_o procure_v to_o dismiss_v myself_o of_o all_o kind_n of_o corporeal_a object_n though_o yet_o i_o dare_v not_o go_v raise_v and_o exalt_v my_o soul_n for_o consider_v that_o i_o be_v always_o so_o very_o wicked_a i_o see_v that_o this_o be_v to_o be_v a_o great_a presumption_n in_o i_o but_o then_o i_o come_v to_o think_v that_o i_o feel_v a_o kind_n of_o presence_n of_o almighty_a god_n in_o i_o after_o a_o particular_a manner_n as_o indeed_o i_o do_v and_o i_o procure_v to_o recollect_v myself_o with_o he_o and_o this_o be_v a_o very_a savoury_a and_o gustfull_a kind_n of_o prayer_n if_o our_o lord_n assist_v a_o soul_n particular_o therein_o and_o the_o delight_n of_o it_o be_v great_a and_o when_o both_o the_o profit_n and_o pleasure_n which_o it_o give_v be_v once_o observe_v by_o the_o soul_n there_o can_v be_v then_o no_o mean_n to_o make_v i_o return_v again_o to_o the_o humanity_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n because_o in_o reality_n of_o truth_n i_o conceive_v that_o it_o be_v a_o impediment_n to_o i_o othou_fw-mi lord_n
lay_v upon_o i_o and_o sometime_o he_o tire_v i_o outright_o with_o ask_v i_o question_n on_o the_o one_o side_n and_o make_v i_o some_o reproof_n on_o the_o other_o and_o i_o have_v need_n of_o no_o less_o than_o all_o this_o so_o double_a and_o so_o weak_a a_o will_v i_o have_v he_o tell_v i_o once_o that_o it_o be_v not_o to_o obey_v if_o withal_o i_o be_v not_o resolve_v to_o suffer_v and_o that_o i_o be_v to_o cast_v my_o eye_n upon_o what_o he_o have_v be_v content_a toendure_n for_o i_o and_o that_o so_o the_o hard_a thing_n will_v become_v easy_a another_o ghostly_a father_n of_o i_o to_o who_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o confess_v myself_o in_o the_o beginning_n give_v i_o once_o this_o advice_n that_o since_o it_o have_v be_v find_v by_o trial_n that_o the_o spirit_n be_v good_a i_o shall_v now_o carry_v thing_n in_o absolute_a silence_n and_o not_o give_v notice_n thereof_o to_o any_o creature_n for_o that_o it_o be_v better_a to_o wrap-up_a these_o kind_n of_o thing_n in_o that_o manner_n as_o for_o i_o i_o mislike_v not_o this_o for_o whensoever_o i_o be_v to_o declare_v they_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n i_o grow_v to_o be_v so_o much_o trouble_v and_o conceive_v myself_o to_o be_v so_o much_o affront_v by_o it_o that_o i_o have_v much_o less_o difficulty_n to_o confess_v my_o great_a sin_n and_o especial_o if_o i_o be_v to_o declare_v those_o high_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o impart_v i_o think_v they_o be_v not_o likely_a to_o believe_v it_o but_o to_o make_v a_o jest_n and_o scorn_v of_o i_o but_o indeed_o i_o be_v chief_o trouble_v so_o much_o at_o it_o because_o it_o seem_v to_o amount_v to_o a_o kind_n of_o irreverence_n towards_o the_o wonder_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o for_o this_o reason_n i_o will_v have_v be_v glad_a to_o conceal_v they_o but_o i_o quick_o come_v to_o understand_v how_o that_o ghostly_a father_n have_v give_v i_o indeed_o very_o ill_a advice_n and_o that_o i_o be_v by_o no_o mean_n to_o conceal_v any_o thing_n from_o he_o who_o be_v to_o receive_v my_o confession_n because_o there_o be_v much_o security_n for_o i_o to_o deal_v clear_o with_o he_o and_o that_o if_o i_o proceed_v otherwise_o i_o may_v perhaps_o fall_v into_o error_n at_o one_o time_n or_o other_o whensoever_o our_o lord_n command_v i_o any_o thing_n in_o my_o prayer_n if_o my_o ghostly_a father_n chance_v to_o bid_v i_o do_v otherwise_o our_o lord_n will_v return_v to_o command_v i_o to_o obey_v my_o ghostly_a father_n and_o yet_o again_o afterward_o his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v direct_v he_o to_o command_v i_o to_o do_v that_o very_a thing_n which_o our_o lord_n himself_o have_v command_v i_o to_o do_v before_o when_o once_o they_o take_v many_o book_n write_v in_o spanish_a from_o i_o that_o i_o may_v not_o read_v they_o i_o be_v much_o trouble_v at_o it_o for_o some_o of_o they_o serve_v i_o for_o recreation_n and_o now_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o read_v they_o because_o there_o be_v none_o leave_v there_o but_o in_o latin_n but_o then_o our_o bless_a lord_n say_v these_o word_n to_o i_o be_v not_o trouble_v for_o i_o will_v give_v thou_o a_o live_a book_n i_o can_v not_o for_o my_o part_n understand_v why_o this_o have_v be_v say_v to_o i_o for_o then_o i_o have_v never_o have_v vision_n but_o within_o a_o little_a while_n after_o i_o understand_v it_o very_o well_o for_o i_o have_v have_v so_o much_o to_o think_v of_o and_o to_o recollect_v myself_o about_o concern_v those_o thing_n which_o i_o see_v before_o i_o and_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v show_v i_o so_o great_a love_n as_o to_o instruct_v i_o by_o such_o a_o multitude_n of_o way_n that_o i_o have_v have_v very_o little_a need_n of_o book_n or_o rather_o in_o effect_n none_o at_o all_o for_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v be_v that_o true_a book_n to_o i_o wherein_o i_o have_v indeed_o see_v truth_n and_o now_o bless_a be_v such_o a_o book_n as_o this_o which_o leave_v that_o imprint_v in_o the_o very_a hart_n which_o be_v to_o be_v read_v yea_o and_o so_o as_o that_o it_o can_v never_o be_v forget_v who_o can_v over_o see_v our_o bless_a lord_n all_o covered-ove_a with_o wound_n and_o afflict_v with_o persecution_n of_o all_o kind_n and_o yet_o not_o be_v content_v to_o embrace_v they_o yea_o and_o to_o desire_v they_o and_o to_o love_v they_o who_o can_v see_v though_o but_o a_o very_a little_a of_o that_o glory_n which_o he_o give_v to_o such_o as_o serve_v he_o and_o not_o come_v instant_o to_o know_v that_o all_o that_o which_o we_o can_v possible_o ever_o either_o do_v or_o suffer_v here_o be_v direct_o nothing_o since_o we_o hope_v for_o so_o high_a a_o reward_n he_o who_o see_v the_o torment_n which_o the_o damn_a soul_n of_o hell_n endure_v how_o can_v he_o choose_v but_o esteem_v all_o the_o torment_n of_o this_o life_n to_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o delightful_a thing_n in_o comparison_n of_o those_o other_o and_o how_o can_v he_o choose_v but_o know_v the_o mighty_a obligation_n which_o he_o have_v to_o our_o bless_a lord_n for_o have_v deliver_v he_o so_o often_o out_o of_o that_o sad_a place_n but_o because_o i_o mean_v hereafter_o by_o the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n to_o speak_v more_o of_o some_o particular_a thing_n of_o these_o kind_n i_o now_o intend_v to_o declare_v the_o process_n of_o my_o own_o life_n and_o for_o the_o present_a i_o beseech_v almighty_a god_n that_o i_o may_v have_v know_v how_o to_o express_v myself_o in_o that_o which_o i_o have_v say_v already_o i_o well_o believe_v that_o whosoever_o shall_v have_v have_v experience_n will_v have_v understand_v i_o and_o will_v have_v see_v that_o i_o have_v happen_v upon_o say_v somewhat_o which_o be_v to_o the_o purpose_n but_o i_o shall_v not_o wonder_v a_o whitt_n if_o such_o as_o have_v none_o shall_v conceive_v that_o i_o have_v be_v talk_v idle_o all_o this_o while_n it_o suffice_v i_o to_o say_v as_o i_o have_v say_v that_o so_o i_o may_v remain_v free_a from_o fault_n nor_o yet_o will_v i_o blame_v any_o other_o who_o shall_v be_v of_o a_o different_a opinion_n our_o bless_a lord_n give_v i_o grace_n that_o i_o may_v never_o fail_v in_o fulfil_v his_o holy_a will_n amen_n the_o seven_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n she_o treat_v of_o another_o way_n how_o our_o lord_n instruct_v a_o soul_n and_o give_v she_o to_o understand_v his_o will_n after_o a_o very_a admirable_a manner_n without_o any_o speech_n at_o all_o she_o also_o declare_v a_o certain_a vision_n and_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n show_v she_o and_o this_o vision_n be_v not_o imaginary_a this_o chapter_n be_v very_o much_o to_o be_v note_v but_o now_o return_v to_o the_o discourse_n or_o historical_a part_n of_o my_o life_n i_o remain_v with_o much_o affliction_n and_o trouble_v but_o it_o be_v accompany_v with_o many_o prayer_n as_o i_o be_v say_v which_o be_v make_v to_o our_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o conduct_v my_o soul_n by_o some_o other_o way_n which_o may_v be_v more_o secure_a since_o they_o tell_v i_o that_o the_o former_a be_v to_o be_v suspect_v yet_o true_a it_o be_v that_o howsoever_o i_o beg_v it_o much_o of_o almighty_a god_n yet_o consider_v how_o evident_o my_o soul_n be_v improve_v by_o the_o course_n which_o i_o hold_v before_o i_o can_v never_o find_v it_o in_o my_o power_n to_o desire_v it_o hearty_o and_o home_n though_o yet_o still_o i_o do_v it_o in_o some_o sort_n unless_o it_o be_v sometime_o when_o i_o be_v even_o distress_v and_o all_o tire_a out_o by_o the_o thing_n which_o they_o say_v to_o i_o and_o by_o the_o fright_n into_o which_o they_o put_v i_o for_o now_o i_o be_v whole_o grow_v to_o be_v another_o creature_n and_o therefore_o i_o can_v not_o cordial_o desire_v it_o only_o i_o put_v myself_o into_o the_o hand_n of_o almighty_a god_n beseech_v he_o that_o since_o he_o know_v what_o be_v fit_a for_o i_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o accomplish_v his_o holy_a will_n in_o all_o thing_n concern_v i_o but_o now_o i_o see_v plain_o that_o by_o this_o way_n of_o i_o which_o they_o suspect_v my_o soul_n be_v even_o carrying-up_a to_o heaven_n which_o former_o be_v drop_v down_o to_o hell_n and_o why_o therefore_o shall_v i_o desire_v that_o this_o course_n may_v be_v change_v for_o as_o for_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n it_o be_v not_o in_o my_o power_n even_o to_o constrain_v myself_o to_o it_o though_o yet_o i_o do_v what_o i_o can_v to_o desire_v that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o believe_v it_o but_o it_o be_v not_o as_o i_o say_v in_o my_o power_n i_o offer_v to_o
and_o certain_o i_o will_v have_v suffer_v many_o year_n for_o the_o advantage_n and_o deliverance_n of_o a_o soul_n let_v our_o lord_n be_v praise_v for_o all_o for_o the_o prayer_n of_o such_o as_o serve_v he_o well_o can_v do_v much_o as_o i_o believe_v my_o sister_n do_v of_o this_o house_n but_o yet_o because_o i_o have_v be_v earnest_a in_o procure_v those_o prayer_n the_o devil_n will_v be_v more_o enrage_v against_o i_o then_o against_o other_o and_o our_o lord_n also_o permit_v that_o for_o my_o sin_n about_o this_o time_n also_o i_o once_o think_v that_o the_o devil_n will_v even_o have_v strangle_v i_o &_o it_o be_v by_o night_n but_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o have_v cause_v holie-water_n to_o be_v cast_v upon_o i_o i_o see_v a_o multitude_n of_o they_o run_v away_o as_o if_o they_o have_v be_v about_o to_o break_v their_o neck_n from_o some_o high_a rock_n and_o it_o be_v so_o frequent_a and_o familiar_a with_o i_o to_o be_v torment_v by_o these_o curse_a wretch_n and_o the_o fear_n which_o now_o i_o have_v of_o they_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v so_o very_o little_a by_o see_v that_o they_o be_v not_o so_o much_o as_o able_a to_o stir_v unless_o our_o bless_a lord_n give_v they_o leave_v that_o although_o it_o may_v be_v of_o comfort_n to_o myself_o yet_o i_o shall_v not_o fail_v to_o weary_v your_o reverence_n if_o i_o relate_v they_o but_o even_o that_o which_o be_v say_v already_o may_v serve_v to_o show_v that_o any_o true_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n may_v need_v to_o trouble_v themselves_o little_a at_o these_o idle_a fright_n and_o bugg-beares_a which_o the_o devil_n be_v wont_a to_o expose_v that_o so_o they_o may_v make_v we_o fear_v they_o and_o in_o fine_a let_v the_o world_n be_v sure_a that_o every_o time_n when_o we_o make_v they_o see_v that_o we_o despise_v they_o they_o will_v remain_v with_o so_o much_o the_o less_o strength_n after_o it_o and_o the_o soul_n as_o be_v a_o great_a princess_n than_o she_o be_v before_o will_v remain_v with_o so_o much_o more_o power_n and_o profit_n as_o i_o will_v not_o stand_v here_o to_o relate_v for_o fear_v of_o too_o much_o length_n but_o now_o i_o will_v only_o declare_v what_o happen_v to_o i_o once_o upon_o a_o all-soule_n day_n at_o night_n for_o be_v at_o that_o time_n in_o the_o oratory_n and_o have_v recite_v matin_n as_o also_o those_o so_o very_o devout_a prayer_n which_o be_v at_o the_o end_n thereof_o according_a to_o the_o breviarie_n the_o devil_n put_v himself_o upon_o the_o book_n to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v not_o finish_v the_o prayer_n but_o i_o bless_v myself_o with_o make_v the_o sign_n of_o the_o holy_a cross_n and_o so_o he_o go_v present_o away_o but_o i_o begin_v again_o he_o also_o return_v and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v no_o less_o that_o the_o like_v happen_v than_o three_o time_n and_o till_o i_o cast_v holie-water_n at_o he_o i_o can_v not_o make_v a_o end_n of_o the_o business_n but_o then_o i_o plain_o see_v that_o some_o soul_n go_v out_o of_o purgatory_n at_o the_o instant_n who_o belike_o want_v very_o little_a of_o their_o deliverance_n and_o perhaps_o the_o devil_n mean_v to_o divert_v it_o it_o be_v seldom_o that_o i_o have_v see_v the_o devil_n in_o any_o exact_a and_o particular_a form_n or_o figure_n but_o many_o time_n without_o form_n as_o i_o do_v the_o vision_n for_o a_o body_n see_v very_o clear_o that_o he_o be_v there_o as_o i_o have_v declare_v already_o and_o i_o will_v now_o relate_v this_o also_o because_o it_o amaze_v i_o very_o much_o be_v one_o day_n in_o a_o certain_a monastery_n and_o in_o the_o choir_n and_o upon_o the_o festivitie_n of_o the_o bless_a trinity_n i_o chance_v to_o be_v in_o rapt_v and_o i_o see_v a_o great_a contention_n and_o strife_n between_o angel_n and_o devil_n yet_o not_o know_v what_o that_o vision_n may_v mean_v but_o about_o some_o fifteen_o day_n before_o it_o be_v hear_v that_o a_o certain_a great_a disagreement_n have_v happen_v between_o some_o person_n who_o be_v of_o prayer_n and_o many_o other_o also_o who_o be_v not_o so_o &_o there_o come_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o harm_n to_o the_o place_n where_o this_o occur_v for_o the_o strife_n continue_v long_o and_o it_o breed_v a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o disquiet_n another_o time_n i_o see_v a_o multitude_n of_o they_o all_o round_a about_o i_o but_o then_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o be_v environ_v with_o a_o great_a kind_n of_o light_n which_o permit_v they_o not_o to_o approach_v and_o i_o understand_v thereby_o that_o our_o lord_n keep_v they_o off_o from_o come_v near_o i_o in_o any_o such_o sort_n as_o to_o make_v i_o offend_v his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o by_o that_o which_o i_o have_v find_v sometime_o in_o myself_o i_o conceive_v that_o it_o be_v a_o true_a vision_n the_o matter_n be_v that_o i_o now_o understand_v so_o very_o well_o how_o little_a power_n they_o have_v whensoever_o i_o go_v not_o against_o god_n that_o in_o effect_n i_o do_v not_o fear_v they_o at_o all_o for_o their_o strength_n be_v direct_o nothing_o unless_o they_o find_v the_o soul_n they_o set_v upon_o to_o be_v cowardly_a and_o yield_v to_o they_o but_o then_o indeed_o they_o show_v their_o power_n in_o some_o of_o those_o former_a temptation_n i_o think_v they_o employ_v themselves_o now_o and_o then_o upon_o awake_v and_o reviue_v in_o i_o the_o memory_n of_o all_o the_o frailty_n and_o vanity_n of_o my_o former_a time_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o have_v good_a cause_n to_o recommend_v myself_o much_o to_o almighty_a god_n but_o this_o put_v i_o to_o very_o much_o pain_n by_o make_v it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o now_o it_o be_v all_o of_o the_o devil_n since_o those_o thought_n of_o i_o return_v till_o such_o time_n as_o my_o ghostly_a father_n put_v i_o in_o quiet_a for_o real_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o even_o the_o first_o motion_n of_o ill_a thought_n be_v not_o so_o much_o as_o to_o approach_v any_o such_o person_n as_o have_v receive_v so_o great_a favour_n of_o our_o b._n lord_n at_o other_o time_n it_o torment_v i_o much_o yea_o and_o even_o it_o torment_v i_o still_o to_o see_v that_o man_n shall_v hold_v i_o in_o so_o high_a account_n and_o especial_o that_o it_o shall_v be_v do_v by_o eminent_a person_n and_o that_o they_o shall_v speak_v so_o much_o good_a of_o i_o and_o in_o this_o i_o have_v suffer_v and_o still_o suffer_v much_o but_o i_o quick_o cast_v my_o thought_n upon_o the_o life_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n and_o his_o saint_n and_o i_o think_v i_o walk_v in_o a_o way_n which_o be_v very_o contrary_a to_o that_o of_o they_o for_o they_o aspire_v to_o nothing_o but_o to_o be_v subject_a to_o injury_n and_o contempt_n and_o this_o make_v i_o walk_v with_o such_o fear_n as_o that_o i_o even_o sarce_o dare_v hold_v up_o my_o head_n and_o will_v be_v glad_a to_o get_v myself_o out_o of_o sight_n which_o yet_o i_o never_o desire_v when_o i_o find_v myself_o subject_a to_o persecution_n for_o then_o my_o soul_n carry_v herself_o like_o a_o great_a lady_n whatsoever_o the_o body_n may_v feel_v i_o know_v not_o how_o these_o thing_n can_v stand_v but_o yet_o they_o pass_v in_o such_o sort_n that_o the_o soul_n seem_v then_o to_o be_v as_o in_o her_o kingdom_n and_o that_o she_o tread_v and_o trample_v all_o thing_n under_o her_o foot_n this_o occur_v to_o i_o several_a time_n and_o the_o same_o continue_v long_o and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v virtue_n and_o humility_n but_o now_o i_o see_v plain_o enough_o that_o it_o be_v a_o temptation_n and_o a_o dominican_n father_n a_o learned_a man_n declare_v it_o to_o i_o very_o well_o when_o i_o conceive_v that_o these_o favour_n which_o our_o b._n lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o will_v grow_v to_o be_v public_o know_v it_o be_v of_o so_o excessive_a a_o torment_n to_o i_o that_o it_o extreme_o disquiet_v my_o soul_n and_o it_o come_v at_o length_n to_o that_o pass_v that_o whilst_o i_o be_v consider_v the_o same_o i_o can_v more_o willing_o have_v be_v content_v to_o be_v bury_v quick_a then_o that_o any_o such_o thing_n shall_v arrive_v and_o so_o when_o i_o come_v to_o have_v those_o so_o great_a recollection_n and_o rapt_n as_o that_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a for_o i_o to_o resist_v they_o in_o public_a iremain_v so_o confound_v with_o shame_n afterward_o that_o i_o will_v have_v be_v glad_a not_o to_o appear_v where_o any_o creature_n who_o know_v i_o may_v see_v i_o and_o be_v once_o extreme_o afflict_v upon_o this_o account_n i_o be_v ask_v by_o our_o bless_a lord_n what_o it_o be_v whereof_o i_o be_v so_o much_o afraid_a for_o
lord_n with_o such_o a_o abundance_n of_o mercy_n have_v not_o dispatch_v all_o that_o business_n alone_o for_o till_o he_o out_o of_o his_o own_o goodness_n do_v so_o your_o reverence_n will_v already_o have_v see_v that_o on_o my_o part_n there_o be_v nothing_o at_o all_o but_o only_o rise_v and_o fall_v over_o and_o over_o i_o will_v fain_o express_v this_o point_n home_n for_o i_o believe_v that_o many_o soul_n grow_v to_o be_v abuse_v and_o deceive_v because_o they_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o fly_v before_o almighty_a god_n give_v they_o wing_n i_o conceive_v that_o i_o have_v former_o use_v this_o comparison_n but_o it_o come_v also_o very_a well_o in_o here_o for_o i_o find_v that_o many_o soul_n be_v much_o afflict_v upon_o this_o occasion_n as_o namely_o when_o they_o begin_v with_o great_a desire_n and_o resolution_n to_o go_v forward_o in_o the_o way_n of_o virtue_n and_o some_o do_v even_o give-ove_a all_o for_o love_v thereof_o forasmuch_o as_o concern_v exterior_a thing_n and_o yet_o see_v more_o advantageous_a effect_n and_o fruit_n of_o such_o virtue_n as_o our_o lord_n have_v infuse_v into_o the_o soul_n of_o other_o who_o be_v more_o proficient_a then_o into_o they_o and_o that_o they_o can_v perform_v certain_a thing_n which_o be_v set_v down_o in_o those_o book_n which_o be_v write_v of_o prayer_n and_o contemplation_n which_o man_n be_v advise_v to_o use_v so_o to_o make_v themselves_o ascend_v up_o the_o better_a and_o the_o high_a to_o this_o dignity_n and_o in_o fine_a when_o they_o can_v instant_o obtain_v these_o thing_n they_o discomfort_n and_o afflict_v themselves_o as_o for_o example_n not_o to_o care_v a_o straw_n if_o any_o body_n shall_v speak_v ill_a of_o we_o but_o rather_o to_o take_v more_o contentment_n in_o it_o then_o when_o they_o praise_v we_o to_o have_v very_o little_a esteem_n of_o our_o honour_n to_o be_v perfect_o untie_v from_o the_o care_n of_o kindred_n and_o friend_n and_o not_o to_o desire_v to_o converse_v with_o they_o but_o rather_o to_o be_v weary_a of_o their_o company_n unless_o they_o be_v person_n of_o prayer_n and_o many_o other_o thing_n of_o this_o kind_n which_o must_v in_o my_o opinion_n come_v from_o the_o gift_n of_o almighty_a god_n because_o i_o hold_v they_o for_o supernatural_a blessing_n and_o very_o contrary_a to_o our_o own_o natural_a inclination_n and_o therefore_o let_v they_o not_o be_v afflict_v but_o put_v their_o trust_n in_o our_o lord_n that_o so_o what_o now_o they_o have_v in_o desire_n his_o divine_a majesty_n may_v be_v please_v to_o give_v they_o afterward_o with_o effect_n and_o fruit_n by_o mean_n of_o prayer_n and_o by_o their_o do_v on_o their_o part_n what_o they_o can_v for_o it_o be_v a_o most_o necessary_a thing_n for_o this_o weak_a and_o poor_a nature_n of_o we_o to_o place_v a_o great_a confidence_n in_o our_o b._n lord_n &_o not_o to_o put_v ourselves_o out_o of_o hart_n nor_o to_o think_v but_o that_o if_o we_o will_v proceed_v with_o courage_n we_o shall_v be_v victorious_a and_o because_o i_o have_v much_o experience_n hereof_o i_o will_v speak_v a_o word_n or_o two_o by_o way_n of_o advice_n to_o your_o reverence_n for_o you_o must_v not_o think_v though_o it_o may_v appear_v as_o if_o it_o be_v true_a that_o any_o virtue_n be_v already_o gain_v unless_o it_o be_v first_o compare_v and_o experiment_v by_o the_o vice_n which_o be_v contrary_a to_o it_o and_o we_o must_v always_o remain_v doubtful_a and_o suspicious_a and_o not_o cast_v off_o our_o care_n as_o long_o as_o we_o be_v the_o owner_n of_o our_o life_n for_o our_o weakness_n stick_v close_o and_o fast_o to_o we_o unless_o as_o i_o be_v say_v before_o the_o whole_a benefit_n be_v impart_v to_o we_o by_o divine_a grace_n to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v know_v what_o all_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o life_n be_v worth_a and_o that_o there_o be_v never_o any_o such_o thing_n as_o can_v be_v term_v all_o but_o in_o company_n of_o many_o danger_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o some_o few_o year_n ago_o that_o not_o only_o i_o be_v not_o inordinate_o tie_v to_o the_o love_n of_o any_o of_o my_o kindred_n but_o rather_o that_o i_o be_v weary_a of_o they_o and_o it_o be_v real_o very_o true_a that_o there_o be_v time_n when_o i_o will_v not_o so_o much_o as_o endure_v their_o conversation_n but_o yet_o afterward_o there_o occur_v a_o certain_a business_n of_o much_o importance_n which_o oblige_v i_o to_o remain_v with_o a_o certain_a sister_n of_o i_o who_o former_o i_o have_v love_v with_o very_o extraordinary_a affection_n and_o now_o be_v come_v again_o to_o converse_v with_o she_o we_o suit_v not_o so_o very_o well_o with_o one_o another_o for_o though_o she_o be_v better_a than_o i_o yet_o be_v of_o a_o different_a condition_n from_o i_o in_o regard_n that_o she_o be_v marry_v the_o conversation_n be_v not_o always_o that_o which_o i_o can_v have_v wish_v and_o therefore_o i_o like_v to_o be_v alone_o as_o much_o as_o convenient_o i_o may_v but_o yet_o after_o a_o while_n i_o find_v that_o her_o trouble_n and_o affair_n bring_v i_o more_o resentment_n and_o care_n by_o much_o than_o such_o other_o do_v as_o belong_v to_o any_o christian_a neighbour_n of_o i_o at_o large_a and_o this_o give_v i_o some_o little_a disgust_n against_o myself_o for_o so_o in_o fine_a i_o come_v to_o know_v that_o i_o be_v not_o so_o very_o free_a and_o untie_v as_o i_o have_v former_o conceive_v and_o that_o moreover_o i_o be_v to_o have_v avoid_v the_o occasion_n to_o the_o end_n that_o so_o this_o virtue_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v begin_v to_o give_v i_o may_v have_v get_v strength_n and_o i_o have_v procure_v through_o his_o favour_n to_o proceed_v in_o this_o manner_n ever_o since_o when_o our_o lord_n begin_v to_o impart_v a_o virtue_n to_o a_o soul_n it_o be_v to_o be_v hold_v in_o great_a account_n and_o by_o no_o mean_n be_v we_o to_o expose_v it_o to_o the_o danger_n of_o be_v lose_v so_o be_v it_o in_o those_o thing_n which_o concern_v reputation_n and_o honour_n and_o so_o also_o in_o other_o and_o your_o reverence_n may_v well_o believe_v that_o not_o all_o they_o and_o we_o who_o esteem_v ourselves_o to_o be_v absolute_o untie_v from_o all_o thing_n be_v yet_o so_o indeed_o and_o we_o have_v need_n enough_o not_o to_o be_v slack_a or_o negligent_a herein_o for_o whatsoever_o person_n there_o be_v who_o feel_v any_o care_n at_o all_o of_o any_o one_o point_n of_o honour_n in_o himself_o let_v he_o believe_v i_o if_o he_o mean_v to_o profit_v in_o spirit_n that_o there_o be_v ever_o a_o certain_a tie_n at_o the_o end_n of_o it_o and_o it_o be_v by_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o chain_n as_o that_o there_o be_v no_o file_n in_o the_o world_n but_o god_n and_o prayer_n and_o very_o much_o endeavour_v on_o our_o part_n which_o will_v possible_o be_v able_a to_o divide_v it_o &_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v so_o fast_o a_o knot_n that_o i_o be_o amaze_v to_o see_v the_o mischief_n which_o it_o bring_v sometime_o i_o see_v certain_a person_n who_o seem_v to_o be_v even_a saint_n by_o their_o work_n for_o they_o do_v so_o very_a many_o and_o so_o great_a one_o that_o the_o world_n do_v even_o admire_v they_o and_o exclaim_v after_o this_o manner_n dear_a god_n and_o how_o come_v it_o to_o pass_v that_o such_o a_o soul_n as_o that_o do_v still_o inhabit_v the_o earth_n be_v he_o not_o already_o at_o the_o very_a top_n of_o perfection_n what_o be_v this_o and_o what_o can_v detain_v such_o a_o man_n from_o be_v a_o direct_a and_o downright_a saint_n who_o do_v so_o great_a thing_n for_o god_n but_o my_o answer_n to_o this_o question_n be_v that_o this_o man_n have_v yet_o perhaps_o some_o little_a consideration_n &_o care_n of_o preserve_v some_o point_n of_o honour_n for_o himself_o yea_o and_o the_o worst_a of_o this_o business_n be_v that_o he_o will_v by_o no_o mean_n believe_v that_o in_o very_a deed_n there_o be_v any_o such_o thing_n and_o that_o happen_v because_o sometime_o the_o devil_n make_v he_o conceive_v that_o he_o be_v even_o oblige_v to_o have_v a_o great_a care_n of_o it_o well_o yet_o let_v they_o harken_v to_o i_o i_o beseech_v they_o and_o together_o even_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n i_o beg_v of_o they_o that_o they_o will_v believe_v this_o poor_a little_a miserable_a ant_n who_o our_o lord_n command_v to_o speak_v that_o unless_o they_o free_v themselves_o from_o this_o caterpillar_n though_o perhaps_o it_o may_v not_o destroy_v the_o whole_a tree_n because_o some_o other_o virtue_n do_v still_o peradventure_o remain_v yet_o even_o all_o those_o very_a virtue_n will_v be_v worm-eaten_a nor_o will_v it_o ever_o be_v a_o beautiful_a
with_o a_o great_a cloud_n and_o so_o to_o become_v very_o dark_a and_o that_o so_o though_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v ever_o present_a with_o we_o yea_o so_o very_o present_a as_o that_o he_o give_v we_o our_o very_a be_v thereby_o yet_o then_o he_o be_v not_o so_o represent_v as_o to_o be_v see_v by_o we_o and_o that_o when_o the_o case_n concern_v heretic_n the_o lookingglass_n be_v direct_o break_v which_o be_v far_o worse_a then_o to_o be_v obscure_v but_o now_o there_o be_v a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o difference_n between_o my_o see_v it_o and_o my_o relate_v it_o for_o it_o be_v no_o easy_a thing_n to_o give_v it_o well_o to_o be_v understand_v yet_o this_o have_v do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o good_a and_o have_v affect_v i_o with_o much_o pity_n and_o grief_n for_o those_o time_n wherein_o myself_o do_v obscure_v my_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o behold_v and_o see_v this_o bless_a lord_n of_o i_o it_o seem_v also_o to_o i_o that_o this_o kind_n of_o vision_n be_v very_o useful_a to_o person_n who_o be_v of_o much_o recollection_n to_o teach_v they_o a_o way_n of_o think_v of_o our_o bless_a lord_n as_o in_o the_o most_o interior_a part_n of_o their_o soul_n which_o be_v a_o consideration_n that_o will_v stick_v close_a to_o then_o and_o will_v be_v of_o much_o more_o benefit_n then_o if_o they_o be_v consider_v as_o any_o way_n our_o of_o the_o soul_n according_a to_o what_o i_o have_v say_v else_o where_o and_o it_o be_v contain_v also_o in_o some_o book_n which_o be_v write_v of_o prayer_n about_o the_o way_n how_o we_o be_v to_o seek_v almighty_a god_n in_o particular_a the_o glorious_a s._n augustin_n speak_v much_o of_o how_o almighty_a god_n be_v not_o to_o be_v seek_v either_o in_o pleasure_n or_o external_a place_n and_o that_o he_o can_v be_v no_o way_n find_v so_o well_o as_o in_o ourselves_o and_o this_o be_v certain_o the_o best_a way_n nor_o have_v we_o need_v to_o go_v further_o off_o then_o to_o our_o very_a self_n and_o much_o less_o to_o clime-up_a as_o high_a as_o heaven_n for_o this_o purpose_n for_o this_o will_v but_o distract_v the_o soul_n and_o weary_a the_o spirit_n and_o do_v we_o nothing_o near_o so_o much_o good_a i_o will_v also_o give_v a_o advertisement_n here_o to_o the_o end_n that_o if_o any_o body_n have_v any_o such_o thing_n as_o that_o he_o may_v know_v the_o better_a how_o to_o carry_v himself_o it_o happen_v in_o some_o very_a great_a rapt_n when_o the_o time_n be_v past_a wherein_o the_o soul_n remain_v in_o union_n and_o when_o all_o the_o faculty_n and_o power_n thereof_o be_v absorb_v and_o which_o last_v as_o i_o have_v say_v but_o a_o little_a while_n that_o the_o soul_n remain_v recollect_v and_o be_v not_o able_a in_o the_o exterior_a way_n to_o return_v to_o itself_o but_o those_o two_o power_n and_o faculty_n namely_o the_o understanding_n and_o memory_n remain_v as_o with_o a_o kind_n of_o frenzy_n in_o great_a disorder_n this_o i_o say_v happen_v sometime_o and_o especial_o with_o beginner_n and_o i_o have_v be_v think_v whether_o it_o may_v not_o proceed_v from_o this_o that_o our_o condition_n be_v natural_o very_o weak_a and_o not_o able_a to_o admit_v and_o endure_v so_o great_a a_o strength_n of_o spirit_n and_o that_o the_o imagination_n be_v weaken_v also_o much_o and_o i_o know_v that_o this_o happen_v to_o some_o now_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o apt_a to_o think_v that_o it_o be_v not_o ill_o to_o oblige_v they_o in_o such_o case_n as_o this_o to_o leave-off_a their_o prayer_n for_o that_o time_n and_o to_o go_v recover_v that_o afterward_o which_o they_o lose_v then_o that_o so_o all_o come_v not_o on_o together_o for_o it_o may_v chance_n prove_v a_o occasion_n of_o much_o inconvenience_n and_o of_o this_o we_o have_v experience_n and_o that_o it_o will_v fall_v out_o to_o be_v of_o better_a proof_n to_o consider_v very_o well_o how_o much_o our_o state_n of_o health_n and_o strength_n be_v able_a to_o endure_v but_o in_o all_o thing_n there_o will_v be_v need_n of_o good_a experience_n and_o of_o a_o good_a director_n for_o when_o once_o the_o soul_n be_v grow_v to_o be_v in_o these_o term_n many_o thing_n will_v come_v to_o offer_v themselves_o wherein_o there_o will_v be_v need_n enough_o of_o some_o body_n with_o who_o it_o may_v be_v fit_a to_o consider_v they_o and_o if_o any_o such_o man_n can_v not_o be_v find_v when_o he_o be_v seek_v our_o bless_a lord_n himself_o will_v not_o be_v want_v to_o he_o since_o he_o will_v not_o be_v want_v to_o i_o i_o be_v the_o wicked_a creature_n i_o be_o for_o i_o believe_v there_o be_v very_o few_o who_o be_v come_v to_o have_v experience_n of_o so_o many_o thing_n and_o if_o there_o be_v not_o experience_n it_o be_v in_o vain_a to_o think_v of_o any_o remedy_n which_o will_v not_o rather_o serve_v to_o disquiet_v and_o afflict_v the_o soul_n but_o the_o best_a be_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v take_v even_o that_o trouble_n of_o we_o in_o account_n for_o some_o satisfaction_n of_o himself_o and_o therefore_o it_o will_v fallout_a to_o be_v better_o do_v to_o confer_v thereof_o as_o i_o have_v former_o say_v and_o so_o will_v it_o also_o be_v to_o proceed_v after_o this_o manner_n in_o all_o those_o thing_n whereof_o i_o be_o speak_v now_o for_o i_o see_v that_o this_o import_v very_o much_o especial_o if_o they_o be_v woman_n who_o be_v concern_v and_o that_o they_o do_v it_o with_o their_o ghostly_a father_n and_o that_o he_o also_o be_v such_o as_o be_v fit_a at_o least_o there_o use_v to_o be_v more_o woman_n than_o man_n to_o who_o our_o lord_n impart_v these_o favour_n and_o this_o i_o understand_v first_o from_o the_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n and_o i_o have_v also_o see_v myself_o that_o they_o proceed_v and_o profit_v more_o in_o this_o way_n of_o spirit_n than_o man_n do_v but_o he_o give_v excellent_a reason_n for_o his_o opinion_n which_o need_v not_o be_v insert_v here_o for_o they_o all_o be_v in_o favour_n of_o woman_n be_v one_o day_n in_o prayer_n there_o be_v sudden_o represent_v to_o i_o but_o it_o be_v without_o my_o see_v any_o thing_n form_v and_o yet_o it_o be_v with_o a_o very_a extraordinary_a kind_n of_o claritie_n how_o all_o thing_n be_v see_v in_o almighty_a god_n and_o how_o he_o have_v they_o all_o in_o himself_o to_o know_v how_o to_o set_v this_o down_o be_v in_o no_o power_n of_o i_o but_o it_o remain_v deep_o imprint_v in_o my_o soul_n and_o it_o be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n that_o ever_o have_v be_v do_v i_o by_o our_o bless_a lord_n yea_o and_o of_o those_o also_o which_o put_v i_o to_o great_a confusion_n &_o shame_n when_o i_o consider_v the_o many_o sin_n which_o i_o have_v commit_v against_o he_o i_o well_o believe_v that_o if_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o let_v i_o see_v this_o vision_n at_o some_o other_o time_n of_o my_o life_n or_o if_o they_o can_v see_v he_o now_o who_o be_v sin_v against_o he_o they_o will_v never_o have_v the_o hart_n and_o courage_n to_o do_v as_o they_o do_v it_o appear_v to_o i_o as_o i_o say_v but_o yet_o so_o as_o that_o i_o can_v express_o affirm_v that_o i_o see_v any_o thing_n distinct_o but_o yet_o somewhat_o i_o think_v must_v needs_o have_v be_v see_v by_o i_o since_o i_o be_o able_a to_o make_v this_o very_a comparison_n but_o that_o it_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v signify_v by_o so_o delicate_a and_o subtle_a a_o way_n as_o that_o the_o understanding_n be_v not_o able_a to_o reach_v it_o or_o else_o that_o i_o have_v no_o skill_n of_o all_o those_o kind_n of_o vision_n which_o seem_v not_o to_o be_v imaginary_a but_o yet_o in_o some_o of_o these_o i_o very_o think_v that_o perhaps_o there_o may_v be_v somewhat_o of_o the_o imaginary_a or_o form_v appearance_n and_o that_o only_o the_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n be_v then_o in_o rapt_v they_o be_v not_o able_a afterward_o to_o assign_v any_o form_n in_o what_o manner_n our_o lord_n represent_v himself_o to_o they_o there_o and_o how_o he_o be_v please_v that_o they_o shall_v enjoy_v he_o but_o yet_o suppose_v it_o to_o be_v the_o divinity_n in_o the_o form_n of_o some_o bright_a diamond_n which_o be_v big_a than_o the_o whole_a world_n or_o else_o of_o some_o lookingglass_n after_o the_o manner_n of_o what_o i_o say_v before_o concern_v the_o soul_n in_o that_o other_o vision_n save_o that_o this_o be_v in_o so_o superior_a a_o kind_n of_o manner_n that_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o express_v it_o and_o that_o all_o that_o which_o we_o do_v be_v see_v
beseech_v your_o reverence_n my_o good_a father_n to_o beg_v of_o almighty_a god_n that_o he_o will_v either_o take_v i_o quick_o to_o himself_o or_o else_o i_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o give_v i_o power_n to_o serve_v he_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o humble_o beseech_v almighty_a god_n that_o what_o i_o have_v write_v here_o may_v be_v of_o some_o use_n to_o your_o reverence_n and_o i_o have_v not_o do_v it_o without_o some_o trouble_n in_o regard_n of_o the_o little_a convenience_n which_o i_o have_v but_o happy_a shall_v this_o trouble_n be_v if_o i_o have_v chance_v to_o hit_v any_o thing_n right_a and_o if_o our_o bless_a lord_n may_v receive_v some_o one_o only_a act_n of_o praise_n by_o occasion_n thereof_o i_o shall_v esteem_v myself_o to_o be_v full_o pay_v though_o your_o reverence_n shall_v burn_v it_o all_o immediate_o after_o and_o yet_o i_o can_v not_o wish_v that_o this_o shall_v happen_v till_o those_o three_o person_n have_v see_v it_o of_o who_o you_o know_v since_o they_o be_v and_o have_v be_v my_o ghostly_a father_n for_o if_o the_o thing_n be_v not_o right_a it_o will_v be_v fit_a that_o they_o give-ove_a the_o good_a opinion_n which_o they_o have_v of_o i_o and_o if_o on_o the_o other_o side_n thing_n go_v well_o i_o know_v that_o they_o be_v good_a and_o learned_a man_n and_o they_o can_v not_o be_v ignorant_a from_o whence_o it_o come_v and_o they_o will_v give_v he_o glory_n and_o praise_n who_o have_v do_v it_o though_o he_o have_v serve_v himself_o of_o i_o therein_o i_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o will_v ever_o keep_v your_o reverence_n in_o his_o holy_a hand_n and_o make_v you_o so_o great_a a_o saint_n as_o that_o you_o may_v with_o spirit_n and_o light_n illuminate_v this_o miserable_a creature_n who_o have_v so_o little_a of_o the_o humble_a in_o she_o and_o so_o much_o of_o the_o bold_a as_o that_o she_o have_v presume_v to_o write_v of_o these_o high_a thing_n i_o beseech_v our_o lord_n that_o i_o have_v not_o err_v therein_o whilst_o my_o aim_n and_o desire_n be_v to_o hit_v right_a and_o to_o obey_v and_o that_o in_o fine_a there_o may_v be_v somewhat_o for_o which_o our_o lord_n shall_v be_v praise_v for_o this_o be_v that_o great_a suit_n which_o i_o have_v make_v to_o he_o now_o these_o many_o year_n and_o since_o i_o have_v want_v work_n whereby_o to_o comply_v with_o this_o aim_n i_o have_v adventure_v upon_o commandment_n to_o see_v if_o i_o can_v put_v this_o irregular_a and_o confuse_a life_n of_o i_o into_o some_o order_n though_o yet_o without_o employ_v either_o any_o more_o attention_n or_o time_n then_o that_o which_o be_v mere_o necessary_a for_o write_v it_o and_o so_o i_o have_v only_o set_v those_o thing_n down_o which_o have_v occur_v to_o i_o and_o pass_v in_o i_o with_o all_o plainness_n and_o truth_n to_o the_o very_a uttermost_a of_o my_o endeavour_n and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n that_o since_o he_o be_v so_o powerful_a as_o that_o if_o he_o will_v he_o can_v he_o may_v be_v please_v to_o make_v i_o whole_o hit_v the_o mark_n in_o performance_n of_o his_o holy_a will_n and_o not_o permit_v that_o this_o soul_n be_v lose_v which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v be_v please_v by_o so_o many_o way_n and_o even_o cunning_a industry_n of_o he_o yea_o and_o that_o so_o many_o time_n to_o deliver_v and_o bring_v out_o of_o hell_n and_o to_o draw_v up_o so_o very_o close_o to_o himself_o amen_o benedictus_fw-la deus_fw-la this_o book_n be_v finish_v the_o first_o time_n in_o june_n in_o the_o year_n of_o our_o lord_n god_n 1562._o it_o be_v write_v then_o without_o distinction_n of_o chapter_n but_o afterward_o it_o be_v write_v by_o this_o glorious_a saint_n again_o and_o then_o it_o be_v divide_v into_o chapter_n and_o many_o thing_n also_o be_v add_v by_o she_o which_o happen_v afterward_o and_o particular_o that_o which_o concern_v the_o foundation_n of_o the_o monastery_n of_o s._n joseph_n of_o auila_n a_o letter_n write_v by_o the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n to_o her_o ghostly_a father_n who_o have_v command_v she_o to_o write_v she_o own_o life_n for_o as_o much_o as_o may_v concern_v her_o manner_n of_o prayer_n and_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v show_v she_o and_o this_o letter_n do_v she_o send_v to_o he_o together_o with_o the_o book_n itself_o the_o holie-ghost_n be_v always_o with_o your_o reverence_n amen_n it_o will_v not_o be_v amiss_o even_o almost_o to_o exaggerate_v the_o service_n which_o now_o i_o be_o do_v to_o your_o reverence_n that_o so_o you_o may_v even_o hold_v yourself_o to_o be_v the_o more_o oblige_v to_o take_v very_o particular_a and_o great_a care_n to_o recommend_v i_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o this_o i_o may_v well_o presume_v to_o do_v since_o it_o have_v cost_v i_o so_o very_o dear_a to_o see_v myself_o thus_o set_v down_o in_o writing_n and_o to_o have_v bring_v by_o occasion_n thereof_o so_o many_o of_o my_o great_a misery_n to_o my_o remembrance_n though_o yet_o withal_o i_o can_v affirine_v with_o much_o truth_n that_o i_o have_v have_v far_o more_o aversion_n and_o trouble_v upon_o my_o declare_v the_o favour_n which_o it_o please_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o do_v i_o than_o it_o will_v have_v be_v for_o i_o to_o discover_v even_o the_o offence_n themselves_o which_o i_o have_v commit_v against_o his_o divine_a majesty_n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o have_v do_v what_o your_o reverence_n have_v command_v in_o order_n to_o the_o enlarge_n myself_o in_o this_o discourse_n though_o yet_o withal_o it_o be_v upon_o condition_n that_o your_o reverence_n will_v also_o do_v what_o you_o promise_v in_o tear_v whatsoever_o you_o shall_v not_o like_v i_o have_v not_o finish_v so_o much_o as_o the_o very_o read_v it_o over_o after_o i_o have_v write_v it_o even_o now_o when_o your_o reverence_n send_v to_o i_o for_o it_o and_o therefore_o it_o may_v very_o well_o chance_v that_o some_o thing_n be_v ill_o declare_v and_o other_o very_o unnecessary_o repeat_v for_o the_o time_n wherein_o i_o be_v able_a to_o do_v it_o do_v prove_v so_o very_o straight_o and_o short_a that_o i_o can_v not_o so_o much_o as_o look_v over_o what_o i_o have_v write_v i_o beseech_v your_o reverence_n to_o reform_v my_o error_n herein_o and_o to_o command_v it_o to_o be_v copy_v out_o and_o send_v to_o father_n auila_n for_o else_o perhaps_o the_o hand_n may_v be_v know_v to_o other_o but_o i_o desire_v very_o much_o that_o such_o order_n may_v be_v take_v as_o that_o he_o may_v see_v it_o since_o i_o partly_o begin_v to_o write_v it_o upon_o that_o design_n for_o when_o he_o shall_v once_o conceive_v that_o i_o go_v in_o a_o way_n which_o be_v right_a i_o shall_v be_v very_o much_o comfort_v by_o it_o and_o so_o when_o i_o shall_v have_v use_v this_o diligence_n there_o will_v be_v on_o my_o part_n no_o more_o to_o be_v do_v i_o humble_o pray_v your_o reverence_n to_o do_v in_o all_o thing_n as_o you_o shall_v think_v fit_a and_o consider_v that_o you_o be_v even_o oblige_v therein_o for_o such_o a_o one_o as_o trust_v her_o soul_n in_o your_o hand_n after_o so_o confident_a a_o manner_n as_o for_o you_o i_o will_v be_v recommend_v it_o to_o our_o bless_a lord_n all_o the_o day_n of_o my_o life_n and_o i_o beseech_v you_o therefore_o make_v great_a haste_n to_o serve_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o the_o end_n that_o you_o may_v be_v the_o better_a able_a to_o do_v i_o also_o favour_n with_o he_o since_o your_o reverence_n will_v easy_o see_v by_o that_o which_o go_v in_o company_n of_o this_o how_o well_o all_o your_o endeavour_n will_v be_v employ_v in_o go_v on_o as_o you_o have_v already_o begin_v and_o in_o bestow_v yourself_o total_o upon_o he_o who_o have_v give_v himself_o so_o whole_o to_o we_o without_o any_o limit_n at_o all_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v and_o praise_v for_o ever_o and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o hope_v through_o his_o mercy_n that_o both_o your_o reverence_n and_o myself_o shall_v one_o day_n grow_v to_o understand_v more_o clear_o the_o great_a blessing_n which_o he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o show_v we_o both_o that_o so_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o praise_v he_o for_o all_o eternity_n amen_n a_o table_n of_o the_o chapter_n 1._o chap._n the_o saint_n show_v how_o our_o lord_n begin_v to_o stirr-up_a her_o soul_n in_o her_o childhood_n to_o the_o performe_a of_o virtuous_a action_n and_o of_o the_o help_n which_o it_o give_v in_o order_n to_o this_o end_n to_o be_v bear_v of_o virtuous_a parent_n 2._o chap._n she_o show_v how_o she_o go_v loose_v in_o the_o way_n of_o virtue_n and_o how_o very_o much_o it_o