the_o matter_n be_v discover_v the_o apothecary_n become_v even_o to_o this_o day_n a_o cause_n of_o mirth_n and_o laughter_n to_o as_o many_o as_o know_v the_o matter_n every_o one_o ask_v he_o whether_o the_o cat_n that_o eat_v the_o hare_n have_v sit_v the_o honey_n 2â—6_n a_o soldier_n a_o merry_a fellow_n find_v a_o louse_n one_o day_n on_o his_o sleeve_n walk_v to_o and_o fro_o to_o take_v the_o air_n take_v he_o up_o by_o the_o back_n between_o his_o finger_n and_o say_v i_o protest_v if_o i_o catch_v you_o again_o out_o of_o your_o quarter_n you_o shall_v die_v and_o so_o put_v he_o into_o his_o collar_n 207._o a_o country_n farmer_n come_v up_o to_o the_o temple_n to_o inquire_v for_o his_o son_n who_o he_o have_v send_v thither_o to_o study_v the_o law_n find_v in_o a_o note_n that_o be_v leave_v in_o the_o key_n hole_n i_o be_o go_v to_o the_o devil_n ah_o say_v his_o father_n my_o dear_a child_n have_v i_o bring_v thou_o up_o so_o tender_o to_o come_v to_o this_o and_o begin_v to_o take_v it_o so_o heavy_o suppose_v the_o law_n have_v bring_v he_o to_o the_o devil_n before_o his_o time_n 208._o a_o maid_n be_v to_o dress_v a_o rabbit_n for_o her_o master_n supper_n be_v new_o come_v to_o town_n partly_o out_o of_o ignorance_n partly_o out_o of_o haste_n send_v it_o to_o the_o table_n with_o the_o ear_n on_o the_o head_n this_o make_v the_o company_n laugh_v so_o that_o her_o master_n can_v not_o find_v in_o his_o heart_n to_o be_v angry_a but_o only_o admonish_v she_o that_o she_o shall_v not_o use_v to_o send_v up_o the_o ear_n not_o long_o after_o there_o be_v a_o pig_fw-mi to_o be_v send_v to_o table_n and_o remember_v her_o master_n charge_n she_o eat_v up_o the_o two_o ear_n 209._o alphonsus_n king_n of_o naples_n have_v in_o his_o court_n a_o fool_n which_o use_v to_o write_v down_o in_o a_o book_n all_o the_o folly_n of_o the_o great_a man_n of_o his_o time_n that_o be_v at_o court_n the_o king_n one_o day_n have_v a_o moor_n in_o his_o household_n he_o send_v he_o to_o the_o levant_n to_o buy_v horse_n with_o ten_o thousand_o ducat_n this_o the_o fool_n mark_v in_o his_o book_n esteem_v it_o a_o pure_a folly_n in_o short_a time_n after_o the_o king_n as_o he_o use_v to_o do_v when_o he_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o be_v merry_a call_v for_o the_o book_n and_o find_v at_o last_o his_o own_o name_n with_o the_o story_n of_o the_o ten_o thousand_o ducat_n the_o king_n be_v somewhat_o move_v ask_v the_o reason_n why_o his_o name_n be_v there_o because_o say_v the_o jester_n you_o have_v commit_v a_o piece_n of_o folly_n to_o give_v your_o money_n to_o one_o you_o be_v never_o like_a to_o see_v again_o but_o if_o he_o come_v again_o answer_v the_o king_n and_o bring_v i_o the_o horse_n what_o folly_n be_v that_o in_o i_o then_o reply_v the_o fool_n if_o he_o ever_o come_v again_o i_o will_v blot_v out_o your_o name_n and_o put_v in_o he_o thâ—_n be_v so_o foolish_a to_o return_v with_o your_o money_n 210._o a_o english_a merchant_n trade_v at_o amsterdam_n be_v to_o sell_v a_o thousand_o pound_n worth_a of_o glove_n to_o certain_a jew_n and_o have_v agree_v upon_o the_o price_n but_o the_o jew_n recant_v of_o the_o bargain_n when_o they_o bring_v their_o money_n will_v have_v but_o half_o well_o say_v the_o english_a merchant_n than_o you_o must_v give_v i_o a_o little_a time_n to_o sort_v they_o and_o you_o shall_v have_v half_a so_o he_o command_v his_o man_n to_o put_v all_o the_o right-handed_a one_o in_o one_o parcel_n and_o the_o leave_v in_o another_o then_o when_o the_o jew_n come_v he_o bid_v they_o take_v their_o choice_n which_o be_v make_v and_o the_o money_n pay_v they_o begin_v to_o pack_v they_o up_o but_o perceive_v at_o last_o they_o be_v all_o for_o one_o hand_n they_o be_v force_v to_o come_v and_o buy_v the_o rest_n at_o the_o merchant_n rate_n 211._o a_o poor_a yorkshire_n man_n bring_v up_o his_o son_n to_o the_o university_n be_v tell_v he_o may_v have_v very_o good_a lodging_n when_o he_o come_v there_o at_o the_o cardinal_n cap_n yes_o but_o say_v he_o will_v it_o not_o make_v my_o son_n a_o papist_n 212._o the_o same_o man_n be_v come_v to_o the_o university_n with_o his_o son_n as_o they_o be_v both_o drink_n in_o the_o kitchen_n at_o their_o inn_n the_o youth_n espy_v a_o long_a kettle_n among_o the_o rest_n and_o know_v this_o be_v the_o place_n where_o he_o be_v to_o get_v his_o learning_n pray_v father_n say_v he_o what_o be_v that_o kettle_n for_o why_o say_v his_o father_n it_o be_v such_o a_o one_o as_o we_o never_o have_v in_o all_o our_o generation_n but_o i_o suppose_v it_o be_v that_o when_o they_o will_v have_v two_o several_a broth_n they_o put_v fish_n in_o one_o end_n and_o flesh_n iâ—_n the_o other_o the_o boy_n hear_v this_o make_v answer_n to_o his_o father_n o_o the_o devil_n 〈◊〉_d you_o 213._o it_o be_v report_v of_o king_n james_n that_o when_o a_o gentleman_n make_v as_o though_o he_o take_v a_o louse_n off_o his_o arm_n he_o give_v he_o twenty_o pound_n say_v it_o be_v a_o gentleman_n companion_n whereupon_o to_o make_v the_o king_n merry_a he_o say_v that_o he_o will_v maintain_v a_o louse_n to_o be_v the_o nimble_a and_o the_o slow_a of_o all_o animal_n the_o strong_a and_o the_o weak_a the_o worst_a and_o the_o best_a the_o nimble_a say_v he_o because_o let_v i_o go_v never_o so_o fast_o it_o never_o desert_n i_o the_o slow_a because_o if_o i_o will_v pull_v it_o out_o of_o my_o head_n and_o lay_v it_o down_o it_o can_v never_o overtake_v i_o the_o strong_a because_o if_o a_o house_n fall_v on_o i_o yet_o it_o be_v ten_o to_o one_o if_o the_o louse_n be_v kill_v and_o knock_v in_o the_o head_n the_o weak_a because_o i_o can_v kill_v it_o with_o my_o thumb_n the_o worst_a companion_n because_o it_o always_o prey_v upon_o i_o and_o the_o best_a because_o it_o always_o accompany_v i_o in_o my_o adversity_n 214._o a_o simple_a fellow_n walk_v in_o the_o field_n alone_o come_v at_o last_o to_o a_o ditch_n and_o make_v a_o pause_n now_o robin_n say_v he_o to_o himself_o what_o do_v think_v can_v thou_o leap_v over_o this_o ditch_n or_o no_o in_o faith_n reply_v he_o to_o himself_o i_o can_v tell_v but_o if_o thou_o will_v robin_n i_o will_v lay_v thou_o a_o crown_n i_o do_v a_o match_n and_o so_o he_o prepare_v himself_o to_o leap_v and_o take_v a_o good_a run_v and_o the_o advantage_n of_o the_o bank_n he_o leap_v quite_o over_o ah_o boy_n say_v he_o there_o be_v your_o crown_n but_o now_o robin_n will_v thou_o lay_v another_o that_o thou_o can_v leap_v back_o i'faith_o that_o be_v very_o difficult_a nevertheless_o hang_v it_o i_o do_v then_o take_v a_o good_a run_v he_o leap_v just_a into_o the_o middle_n up_o to_o the_o waste_n in_o mire_n and_o water_n but_o crawl_v out_o on_o the_o other_o side_n hang_v it_o say_v he_o i_o do_v much_o care_n i_o have_v neither_o win_v nor_o lose_v 215._o ralph_n amner_n the_o great_a bull-maker_n of_o windsor_n tumble_v one_o day_n over_o a_o form_n a_o pox_n on_o it_o say_v he_o i_o have_v burn_v my_o shin_n 216._o a_o roguish_a butcher_n tell_v a_o fool_n he_o will_v give_v he_o a_o farthing_n to_o leap_v into_o the_o kennel_n which_o be_v pretty_a broad_a after_o the_o new-fallen_a rain_n so_o the_o fool_n hop_v in_o first_o with_o one_o foot_n but_o the_o butcher_n will_v have_v he_o leap_v in_o with_o both_o then_o he_o hop_v in_o with_o the_o other_o yet_o be_v very_o loath_a to_o leap_v in_o with_o both_o the_o butcher_n still_o urge_v he_o at_o last_o he_o leap_v in_o with_o both_o and_o then_o will_v have_v his_o farthing_n but_o the_o butcher_n say_v he_o will_v give_v he_o none_o i_o think_v so_o at_o first_o say_v he_o and_o so_o go_v his_o way_n 217._o tom_n the_o barber_n see_v his_o neighbour_n cut_v down_o a_o pear_n tree_n desire_v he_o to_o let_v he_o have_v some_o of_o it_o why_o what_o use_n will_v you_o put_v it_o to_o say_v he_o i_o will_v reply_v he_o only_o make_v a_o few_o box_n combs_n 218._o a_o lawyer_n and_o a_o divine_a be_v merry_a together_o the_o former_a to_o jeer_v the_o latter_a say_v i_o hear_v a_o priest_n say_v one_o sunday_n in_o his_o sermon_n instead_o of_o ionas_n be_v three_o day_n and_o three_o night_n in_o the_o whale_n belly_n that_o he_o be_v three_o day_n and_o three_o night_n in_o a_o quail_n belly_n and_o i_o say_v the_o divine_a hear_v one_o say_v once_o instead_o of_o the_o devil_n be_v a_o liar_n from_o the_o beginning_n the_o devil_n be_v a_o lawyer_n from_o
license_v octob._n 9_o 1673._o roger_n l'estrange_n cambridge_n jest_n or_o witty_a alarm_n for_o melancholy_a spirit_n by_o a_o lover_n of_o ha_o ha_o he._n london_n print_v for_o samuel_n lowndes_n and_o be_v to_o be_v sell_v at_o his_o shop_n over_o against_o exeter-house_n in_o the_o strand_n mdclxxiv_o cambridge_z jest_n 1._o a_o young_a lady_n have_v of_o a_o long_a time_n have_v a_o desire_n to_o have_v her_o picture_n draw_v by_o a_o excellent_a limner_n send_v for_o he_o and_o tell_v he_o that_o for_o as_o much_o as_o she_o have_v hear_v he_o be_v a_o excellent_a artist_n she_o desire_v he_o will_v draw_v she_o to_o the_o life_n as_o she_o be_v a_o maid_n and_o exact_o of_o the_o same_o stature_n the_o painter_n have_v use_v the_o utmost_a of_o his_o art_n to_o resemble_v her_o feature_n to_o the_o life_n bring_v home_o the_o piece_n in_o the_o which_o she_o can_v find_v no_o fault_n except_o that_o he_o have_v draw_v she_o a_o little_a less_o than_o she_o be_v oh_o madam_n 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you_o see_v in_o i_o to_o make_v i_o pope_n 9_o a_o notorious_a rogue_n be_v bring_v to_o the_o bar_n and_o know_v his_o case_n to_o be_v desperate_a cry_v out_o aloud_o i_o charge_v you_o in_o the_o king_n name_n to_o seize_v and_o take_v away_o that_o man_n mean_v the_o judge_n in_o the_o red_a gown_n for_o i_o go_v in_o danger_n of_o my_o life_n because_o of_o he_o 10._o among_o some_o woman_n that_o be_v chat_a of_o their_o husband_n true_o say_v one_o my_o husband_n be_v the_o liquorishe_v man_n in_o the_o world_n for_o i_o have_v a_o little_a pot_n of_o honey_n send_v i_o by_o a_o cousin_n out_o of_o hampshire_n and_o i_o can_v no_o soon_o turn_v my_o breech_n but_o his_o nose_n be_v in_o it_o 11._o another_o good_a wife_n have_v drink_v a_o little_a too_o large_o in_o the_o morning_n fall_v asleep_a in_o the_o church_n and_o begin_v to_o snore_v so_o loud_o that_o her_o next_o neighbour_n jog_v she_o oh_o pray_v give_v the_o cup_n to_o my_o gossip_n there_o say_v she_o for_o i_o 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but_o one_o carlois_n what_o villain_n say_v the_o cardinal_n thou_o be_v dead_a it_o be_v the_o king_n to_o which_o the_o peasant_n reply_v the_o devil_n take_v he_o of_o i_o or_o you_o that_o know_v so_o much_o 14._o one_o have_v occasion_n to_o rise_v early_o bid_v his_o man_n look_v out_o and_o see_v if_o it_o be_v day_n the_o man_n reply_v it_o be_v dark_a why_o then_o fool_n say_v he_o it_o be_v no_o wonder_n if_o thou_o can_v not_o see_v take_v a_o candle_n and_o hold_v out_o of_o the_o window_n 15._o a_o soldier_n quarter_a in_o newmarket_n often_o observe_v a_o young_a country_n wench_n that_o sell_v pig_n every_o market_n day_n whereupon_o he_o go_v to_o her_o one_o day_n and_o desire_v to_o see_v some_o pig_n have_v see_v several_a he_o say_v at_o last_o he_o will_v have_v one_o that_o be_v alive_a so_o she_o show_v he_o one_o that_o she_o have_v in_o a_o bag._n well_o sweet_a heart_n say_v he_o i_o live_v hard_a by_o and_o must_v go_v show_v the_o pig_n to_o my_o captain_n if_o he_o like_v it_o you_o shall_v have_v three_o shilling_n for_o it_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o will_v leave_v the_o price_n with_o you_o thus_o have_v get_v the_o pig_n tie_v up_o in_o the_o bag_n he_o go_v to_o his_o lodging_n and_o put_v a_o dog_n into_o the_o bag_n instead_o of_o it_o and_o return_v quick_o to_o the_o damosel_n say_v true_o his_o captain_n do_v not_o like_o the_o pig_n and_o therefore_o she_o take_v the_o bag_n without_o look_v into_o it_o and_o give_v he_o his_o money_n not_o long_o after_o come_v a_o french_a monsieur_n in_o
know_v that_o his_o age_n be_v great_a and_o his_o hair_n grey_a and_o think_v they_o be_v the_o cause_n why_o he_o do_v not_o succeed_v he_o colour_v his_o beard_n black_a and_o put_v on_o a_o peruque_n and_o like_o a_o young_a man_n come_v again_o and_o petition_v the_o king_n concern_v the_o same_o business_n his_o majesty_n perceive_v the_o deceit_n say_v to_o he_o i_o will_v be_v very_o glad_a to_o gratify_v you_o in_o your_o desire_n but_o it_o be_v not_o long_a since_o i_o deny_v it_o to_o your_o father_n and_o it_o be_v unjust_a to_o grant_v the_o son_n what_o i_o deny_v he_o 50._o in_o the_o flourish_a time_n of_o greece_n when_o young_a alexander_n make_v the_o world_n shake_v and_o the_o war_n begin_v to_o be_v wage_v against_o the_o persian_a monarchy_n the_o timorous_a spy_n tell_v one_o of_o alexander_n captain_n that_o the_o enemy_n beside_o all_o their_o other_o military_a preparation_n bring_v so_o many_o archer_n against_o he_o as_o will_v darken_v the_o sky_n and_o exclude_v the_o light_n of_o the_o sun_n at_o which_o news_n nothing_o daunt_v it_o be_v good_a news_n for_o we_o say_v he_o that_o be_v in_o a_o hot_a country_n for_o we_o shall_v fight_v in_o the_o shade_n 51._o in_o naples_n a_o city_n of_o italy_n there_o happen_v in_o a_o great_a siege_n it_o endure_v that_o the_o governor_n make_v a_o severe_a order_n that_o every_o man_n shall_v be_v put_v to_o death_n that_o be_v above_o such_o a_o age_n do_v not_o wear_v a_o sword_n but_o not_o long_o after_o as_o he_o be_v ride_v through_o the_o street_n to_o see_v how_o well_o his_o order_n be_v put_v in_o execution_n he_o espy_v a_o gentleman_n without_o a_o sword_n and_o command_v he_o to_o be_v bring_v before_o he_o than_o be_v the_o order_n read_v and_o he_o condemn_v to_o die_v the_o death_n appoint_v which_o be_v to_o be_v hang_v on_o the_o next_o sign_n post_n the_o gentleman_n after_o he_o have_v plead_v several_a thing_n in_o his_o own_o behalf_n but_o can_v avail_v nothing_o nevertheless_o desire_v this_o favour_n that_o he_o may_v not_o die_v so_o ignominious_o but_o that_o the_o next_o gentleman_n that_o pass_v may_v run_v he_o through_o with_o his_o sword_n the_o request_n be_v reasonable_a be_v grant_v and_o the_o execution_n prorogue_v till_o the_o next_o come_v now_o it_o happen_v that_o a_o young_a gallant_a be_v come_v from_o a_o game_n house_n that_o way_n that_o have_v lose_v all_o so_o much_o as_o the_o blade_n of_o his_o sword_n which_o be_v good_a merchandise_n at_o that_o time_n do_v not_o dare_v in_o regard_n of_o the_o severe_a order_n to_o go_v home_o until_o a_o wooden_a one_o be_v fit_v to_o the_o handle_n this_o gentleman_n be_v stop_v and_o the_o die_a man_n case_n lay_v open_a but_o this_o ingenious_a person_n know_v his_o own_o insufficiency_n what_o say_v he_o must_v i_o be_v a_o common_a executioner_n must_v i_o stain_v my_o hand_n in_o blood_n without_o passion_n and_o be_v a_o reproach_n to_o all_o man_n nevertheless_o this_o argument_n avail_v nothing_o and_o kill_v he_o he_o must_v then_o put_v off_o his_o cloak_n he_o begin_v a_o prayer_n to_o this_o effect_n thou_o who_o see_v all_o the_o transaction_n here_o below_o judge_v i_o pray_v thou_o and_o vindicate_v the_o cause_n of_o those_o that_o suffer_v wrong_a in_o especial_a manner_n grant_v that_o if_o this_o man_n here_o ought_v not_o to_o die_v this_o sword_n may_v be_v turn_v into_o wood_n then_o draw_v it_o forth_o it_o appear_v to_o be_v wood_n wherefore_o the_o die_a gentleman_n be_v release_v immediate_o with_o abundance_n of_o joy_n and_o the_o wooden_a sword_n be_v carry_v with_o great_a solemnity_n and_o hang_v up_o in_o the_o cathedral_n church_n as_o a_o true_a link_n to_o the_o chain_n of_o popish_a miracle_n 52._o in_o these_o late_a time_n every_o discourse_n be_v of_o preparation_n of_o war_n and_o proceed_n against_o the_o dutch_a among_o many_o other_o question_n one_o be_v so_o curious_a as_o to_o ask_v one_o in_o the_o company_n why_o the_o dutch_a be_v call_v butter-box_n it_o be_v reply_v the_o other_o merry_o because_o they_o be_v spread_v over_o the_o whole_a world_n 53._o a_o seaman_n be_v extreme_o dry_a in_o the_o middle_n of_o the_o fight_n be_v drink_v to_o another_o out_o of_o a_o bottle_n of_o brandy_n when_o at_o the_o instant_a a_o bullet_n come_v through_o a_o porthole_n kill_v he_o as_o he_o be_v drink_v wherefore_o fall_v down_o dead_a and_o the_o bottle_n break_v a_o pox_n light_n on_o you_o say_v the_o other_o for_o a_o rogue_n to_o spill_v all_o the_o brandy_n 54._o there_o be_v at_o newberry_n some_o she_z annabaptist_n that_o take_v upon_o they_o to_o have_v revelation_n and_o therein_o to_o see_v such_o glorious_a thing_n as_o can_v not_o be_v relate_v nor_o imagine_v by_o other_o drawing_z by_z such_o mean_v many_o poor_a simple_a people_n to_o be_v of_o their_o religion_n in_o hope_n of_o see_v the_o like_a glorious_a vision_n one_o among_o the_o rest_n tell_v the_o holy_a brotherhood_n that_o she_o have_v a_o revelation_n to_o be_v take_v up_o into_o heaven_n on_o such_o a_o night_n the_o rest_n resolve_v to_o take_v their_o solemn_a leave_n of_o she_o at_o the_o time_n appoint_v all_o go_v out_o with_o she_o into_o the_o field_n to_o see_v her_o glorious_a ascension_n the_o night_n happen_v to_o be_v a_o moon-shiny_a night_n and_o as_o they_o expect_v when_o some_o angel_n shall_v come_v to_o fetch_v she_o in_o a_o fiery_a chariot_n a_o cloud_n cover_v the_o face_n of_o the_o moon_n whereupon_o they_o begin_v to_o cry_v behold_v he_o come_v in_o the_o cloud_n but_o immediate_o their_o hope_n vanish_v with_o the_o cloud_n 55._o another_o quaker_n be_v apprentice_n to_o a_o tradesman_n in_o the_o city_n of_o london_n become_v at_o last_o after_o he_o have_v receive_v the_o document_n of_o his_o mistress_n so_o fanatical_a that_o he_o will_v give_v new_a name_n to_o all_o thing_n in_o the_o shop_n for_o be_v a_o haberdasher_n of_o small_a ware_n if_o any_o one_o come_v for_o a_o shuttlecock_n he_o call_v it_o a_o fly_a cock_n if_o for_o a_o ruler_n he_o call_v it_o a_o measure_n of_o righteousness_n if_o for_o needle_n those_o he_o call_v the_o camel_n impossibility_n if_o for_o ribbon_n those_o he_o name_v the_o devil_n colour_n insomuch_o that_o he_o render_v himself_o incapable_a of_o trading_n one_o day_n above_o the_o rest_n when_o his_o master_n have_v invite_v many_o guest_n to_o dinner_n he_o go_v into_o the_o room_n and_o take_v a_o stool_n carry_v it_o to_o the_o upper_a end_n of_o the_o table_n and_o sit_v down_o thereon_o cover_v his_o master_n much_o astonish_v at_o his_o new_a impudence_n especial_o before_o so_o much_o company_n ask_v he_o the_o reason_n why_o say_v he_o i_o be_o the_o servant_n of_o the_o live_a god_n and_o have_v more_o right_a to_o the_o creature_n than_o you_o 56._o a_o valiant_a captain_n that_o have_v lose_v his_o leg_n former_o in_o the_o war_n be_v nevertheless_o for_o his_o great_a prudence_n and_o courage_n make_v captain_n of_o a_o ship_n and_o be_v in_o the_o midst_n of_o a_o engagement_n a_o cannon_n bullet_n take_v off_o his_o wooden_a supporter_n so_o that_o he_o fall_v down_o the_o seaman_n forasmuch_o as_o few_o know_v he_o have_v a_o wooden_a leg_n call_v out_o for_o the_o surgeon_n the_o surgeon_n a_o pox_n on_o you_o all_o say_v he_o a_o carpenter_n a_o carpenter_n 57_o a_o severe_a schoolmaster_n have_v one_o morning_n whip_v one_o of_o his_o boy_n see_v he_o as_o soon_o as_o he_o come_v to_o his_o place_n write_v something_o in_o his_o table-book_n wherefore_o command_v he_o to_o bring_v the_o book_n and_o look_v therein_o he_o see_v that_o the_o lad_n have_v write_v down_o every_o time_n he_o have_v be_v whip_v at_o school_n wherefore_o commend_v he_o for_o so_o do_v as_o if_o the_o write_v they_o down_o shall_v put_v the_o fault_n fresh_a in_o his_o memory_n and_o make_v he_o eschew_v they_o he_o give_v he_o half_o a_o crown_n to_o buy_v he_o a_o common-place_n book_n the_o youth_n buy_v a_o common-place_n book_n and_o the_o next_o day_n bring_v it_o to_o school_n his_o master_n see_v it_o call_v he_o out_o for_o his_o lesson_n and_o notwithstanding_o the_o boy_n do_v very_o well_o whip_v he_o pray_v sir_n say_v he_o let_v i_o know_v my_o fault_n for_o i_o perceive_v nothing_o in_o myself_o worthy_a of_o this_o punishment_n o_o say_v he_o if_o i_o do_v not_o take_v this_o course_n you_o will_v never_o fill_v your_o common-place_n book_n 58._o a_o citizen_n of_o london_n go_v along_o the_o street_n very_o hasty_o come_v at_o last_o where_o a_o great_a stop_n be_v make_v by_o cart_n and_o other_o gentleman_n talk_v together_o who_o know_v he_o one_o of_o
to_o each_o a_o shell_n 283._o a_o welshman_n come_v late_o to_o his_o inn_n go_v to_o bed_v in_o the_o dark_a and_o be_v very_o dry_a and_o find_v a_o bottle_n there_o on_o a_o cup-board_n head_n he_o suppose_v it_o to_o be_v drink_n and_o sup_v it_o off_o which_o be_v indeed_o quicksilver_n in_o the_o morning_n when_o he_o feel_v the_o matter_n in_o the_o bed_n for_o fear_v his_o hostess_n shall_v perceive_v he_o have_v beshit_v it_o he_o arise_v and_o depart_v before_o day_n 384._o another_o of_o the_o same_o country_n go_v in_o a_o dark_a night_n in_o london_n with_o his_o arm_n stretch_v out_o to_o avoid_v dangerous_a object_n run_v with_o his_o nose_n against_o a_o post_n cut_n splutter_v and_o nail_n say_v he_o be_v her_o nose_n long_o than_o her_o arm_n 285._o a_o poor_a cripple_n be_v ask_v by_o a_o gentleman_n why_o he_o marry_v a_o blind_a woman_n because_o say_v he_o we_o shall_v the_o better_o agree_v when_o neither_o can_v hit_v the_o other_o in_o the_o tooth_n with_o their_o infirmity_n 286._o king_n james_n be_v often_o trouble_v with_o the_o frequent_a petition_n of_o the_o scotch_a lord_n when_o he_o be_v merry_o dispose_v one_o day_n he_o say_v to_o one_o thomas_n german_n a_o notable_a witty_a person_n suppose_v yourself_o king_n and_o i_o as_o you_o be_v how_o will_v you_o behave_v yourself_o towards_o these_o petitioner_n and_o thereupon_o make_v german_a sit_v down_o and_o he_o himself_o stand_v at_o his_o elbow_n as_o german_n use_v to_o do_v to_o he_o then_o come_v one_o scotch_a lord_n then_z another_z and_o another_o and_o all_o petition_v for_o something_o and_o german_a sit_v in_o the_o chair_n of_o state_n say_v to_o they_o i_o be_o more_o trouble_v with_o these_o scotch_a lord_n than_o all_o the_o kingdom_n beside_o what_o can_v you_o expect_v or_o desire_v from_o i_o when_o here_o be_v poor_a tom_n german_n point_v to_o king_n james_n at_o his_o elbow_n that_o have_v be_v faithful_a to_o i_o and_o serve_v i_o all_o along_o and_o i_o never_o give_v he_o any_o thing_n yet_o this_o so_o work_v upon_o the_o king_n that_o he_o consider_v all_o the_o good_a service_n he_o have_v do_v he_o and_o reward_v he_o noble_o 287._o a_o reverend_a man_n see_v a_o very_a choleric_a couple_n marry_v and_o live_v love_o ask_v how_o they_o do_v to_o live_v so_o peaceable_o and_o comfortable_o together_o to_o who_o the_o man_n answer_v when_o my_o wife_n sit_v come_v upon_o she_o i_o yield_v to_o she_o and_o when_o my_o fit_n be_v upon_o i_o she_o yield_v to_o i_o and_o so_o we_o never_o strive_v together_o but_o asunder_o 288._o one_o tell_v his_o friend_n he_o be_v mad_a for_o something_o he_o have_v do_v with_o less_o consideration_n and_o judgement_n than_o he_o ought_v to_o have_v do_v and_o that_o he_o ought_v to_o be_v send_v to_o bedlam_n to_o be_v cure_v of_o his_o frenzy_n and_o continue_v at_o that_o rate_n so_o long_o till_o the_o other_o witty_o answer_v that_o he_o wonder_v much_o why_o as_o in_o all_o commonwealth_n there_o be_v provide_v a_o bedlam_n for_o mad_a man_n there_o never_o be_v any_o place_n allot_v for_o fool_n 289._o a_o gentleman_n in_o paris_n talk_v with_o a_o priest_n concern_v religion_n ask_v he_o why_o they_o use_v to_o kiss_v the_o cross_n more_o than_o any_o other_o piece_n of_o wood_n and_o what_o be_v in_o that_o more_o than_o any_o tree_n else_o that_o they_o do_v not_o as_o well_o kiss_v they_o why_o say_v the_o priest_n be_v not_o your_o wife_n make_v all_o of_o the_o same_o flesh_n and_o blood_n and_o what_o be_v the_o reason_n you_o do_v not_o kiss_v she_o back_o side_n as_o well_o as_o her_o face_n 290._o one_o have_v eat_v egg_n for_o dinner_n in_o lent_n time_n go_v afterward_o to_o the_o tavern_n to_o make_v up_o his_o dinner_n with_o a_o glass_n of_o wine_n but_o stay_v so_o long_o pint_n after_o pint_n that_o when_o he_o come_v out_o into_o the_o air_n the_o fume_n of_o the_o wine_n begin_v to_o load_v his_o head_n and_o instead_o of_o go_v home_o straight_o he_o make_v many_o reel_n across_o the_o street_n in_o so_o much_o that_o a_o friend_n of_o his_o see_v he_o begin_v to_o chide_v he_o for_o his_o debauchery_n in_o the_o time_n of_o abstinence_n wonder_v he_o say_v that_o then_o when_o there_o be_v a_o time_n allot_v by_o the_o church_n for_o the_o mortification_n of_o the_o flesh_n he_o will_v make_v himself_o a_o reproach_n and_o a_o byword_n to_o all_o honest_a man_n alas_o say_v he_o now_o i_o see_v how_o false_a those_o thing_n be_v that_o we_o common_o take_v for_o truth_n how_o often_o have_v i_o hear_v that_o a_o egg_n and_o a_o glass_n of_o wine_n will_v sustain_v a_o man_n four_o and_o twenty_o hour_n and_o it_o be_v not_o two_o since_o i_o eat_v a_o egg_n and_o drink_v a_o glass_n of_o wine_n and_o now_o you_o see_v i_o can_v stand_v 291._o a_o indifferent_a poet_n show_v a_o copy_n of_o verse_n to_o a_o crooked_a gentleman_n to_o have_v his_o judgement_n concern_v they_o after_o long_a perusal_n though_o he_o be_v no_o great_a poet_n himself_o nor_o have_v any_o great_a judgement_n in_o such_o thing_n nevertheless_o he_o tell_v the_o poet_n that_o he_o dislike_v such_o and_o such_o thing_n and_o indeed_o that_o he_o think_v they_o be_v not_o well_o make_v why_o then_o say_v the_o poet_n take_v it_o in_o great_a dudgeon_n that_o he_o shall_v slight_v his_o verse_n all_o that_o i_o can_v say_v if_o they_o be_v not_o well_o make_v be_v that_o you_o will_v be_v take_v for_o the_o author_n for_o they_o be_v make_v more_o like_o you_o than_o i_o 292._o a_o country_n curate_n have_v invey_v bitter_o against_o the_o vice_n of_o his_o parishioner_n in_o his_o sermon_n one_o good_a woman_n that_o be_v there_o go_v to_o see_v his_o mother_n and_o say_v that_o her_o son_n have_v threaten_v they_o all_o with_o hell_n and_o damnation_n if_o they_o do_v not_o amend_v their_o way_n oh_o say_v his_o mother_n you_o be_v mad_a if_o you_o believe_v he_o for_o when_o he_o be_v young_a he_o be_v always_o a_o great_a liar_n and_o i_o never_o whip_v he_o but_o for_o speak_v untruth_n 293._o a_o country_n woman_n send_v her_o daughter_n to_o a_o lady_n with_o a_o present_a of_o ripe_a medlar_n the_o clownish_a wench_n be_v come_v to_o the_o lady_n tell_v she_o that_o her_o mother_n have_v send_v her_o ladyship_n some_o ripe_a medlar_n that_o be_v as_o soft_a as_o bran_n but_o if_o she_o do_v not_o eat_v they_o quick_o they_o will_v not_o be_v worth_a one_o fart_n this_o language_n and_o brutish_a behaviour_n so_o anger_v the_o gentlewoman_n that_o she_o resolve_v to_o complain_v to_o her_o mother_n of_o the_o incivility_n of_o her_o daughter_n and_o not_o long_o after_o meet_v she_o in_o the_o street_n i_o thank_v you_o very_o much_o say_v she_o for_o your_o present_n but_o the_o bearer_n be_v so_o unmannerly_a as_o to_o say_v such_o and_o such_o obscene_a word_n ah_o reply_v she_o let_v i_o do_v what_o i_o will_v i_o can_v mend_v she_o and_o notwithstanding_o all_o the_o civility_n that_o ever_o i_o teach_v she_o she_o have_v no_o more_o manner_n than_o my_o arse_n 294._o a_o gentleman_n be_v passionate_o enamour_v with_o a_o fair_a young_a woman_n that_o be_v already_o marry_v be_v nevertheless_o so_o far_o drive_v by_o his_o passion_n as_o to_o show_v his_o love_n on_o all_o occasion_n to_o she_o which_o importunity_n when_o she_o will_v endure_v no_o long_o and_o that_o still_o he_o press_v she_o more_o and_o more_o tell_v she_o he_o have_v something_o to_o acquaint_v she_o with_o private_o she_o reply_v chaste_o and_o as_o a_o wise_a woman_n shall_v do_v sir_n when_o i_o be_v under_o my_o parent_n care_n i_o never_o do_v any_o thing_n but_o what_o they_o know_v and_o counsel_v i_o and_o since_o at_o this_o time_n i_o be_o in_o subjection_n to_o my_o husband_n i_o can_v do_v or_o consent_v to_o nothing_o but_o what_o he_o know_v therefore_o if_o your_o demand_n be_v just_a and_o honest_a ask_v he_o and_o he_o will_v satisfy_v you_o 295._o a_o poor_a man_n have_v one_o only_o son_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o bind_v he_o out_o to_o a_o butcher_n but_o be_v willing_a to_o get_v he_o a_o master_n where_o he_o may_v best_o learn_v his_o trade_n he_o ask_v his_o friend_n to_o who_o he_o shall_v bind_v he_o oh_o say_v he_o there_o be_v a_o physician_n in_o our_o village_n bound_v he_o to_o he_o for_o he_o kill_v more_o than_o all_o beside_o in_o the_o town_n 296._o a_o great_a scholar_n or_o a_o mere_a one_o as_o we_o say_v that_o take_v care_n neither_o for_o wife_n child_n nor_o any_o thing_n but_o his_o book_n be_v translate_n a_o greek_a book_n into_o latin_a and_o
at_o the_o same_o time_n one_o come_v and_o tell_v he_o his_o wife_n be_v very_o sick_a well_o i_o have_v but_o three_o or_o four_o sentence_n to_o do_v say_v he_o and_o i_o will_v come_v present_o come_v another_o and_o say_v she_o be_v die_v well_o i_o have_v but_o three_o line_n say_v he_o to_o do_v and_o i_o come_v not_o long_o after_o come_v a_o three_o that_o say_v she_o be_v dead_a alas_o i_o be_o sorry_a say_v he_o she_o be_v a_o good_a woman_n 297._o the_o king_n of_o france_n come_v into_o one_o of_o his_o great_a city_n the_o mayor_n come_v to_o make_v a_o speech_n and_o begin_v thus_o when_o the_o king_n of_o peace_n ride_v to_o jerusalem_n but_o be_v dash_v out_o of_o countenace_n he_o say_v again_o when_o the_o king_n of_o peace_n ride_v to_o jerusalem_n and_o so_o the_o three_o time_n but_o can_v not_o proceed_v then_o the_o king_n turn_v to_o his_o courtier_n say_v we_o may_v easy_o imagine_v this_o man_n be_v a_o ass_n by_o the_o consequent_a 298._o a_o simple_a gentleman_n fall_v sick_a send_v to_o his_o physician_n and_o desire_v he_o to_o bring_v he_o something_o that_o will_v ease_v his_o headache_n so_o the_o physician_n send_v he_o a_o clyster_n to_o purge_v his_o stomach_n and_o allay_v the_o fume_n who_o multitude_n have_v cause_v that_o distemper_n but_o he_o be_v ignorant_a how_o it_o be_v to_o be_v take_v bind_v it_o to_o his_o head_n that_o it_o all_o run_v about_o his_o shoulder_n not_o long_o after_o the_o physician_n who_o be_v now_o at_o leisure_n come_v to_o see_v the_o operation_n of_o his_o physic_n wonder_v to_o see_v he_o in_o that_o case_n and_o tell_v he_o at_o last_o he_o shall_v have_v apply_v it_o to_o the_o other_o end_n so_o after_o the_o physician_n be_v go_v do_v you_o ever_o see_v say_v he_o to_o his_o friend_n such_o a_o simple_a fellow_n that_o shall_v cure_v my_o headache_n and_o give_v i_o a_o potion_n to_o be_v apply_v to_o my_o backside_n 299._o one_o beat_v his_o wife_n for_o be_v very_o lazy_a good_a husdand_v say_v she_o why_o do_v you_o beat_v i_o i_o have_v do_v nothing_o therefore_o answer_v he_o i_o beat_v thou_o 300._o king_n james_n of_o happy_a memory_n consider_v one_o day_n the_o vanity_n of_o his_o courtier_n in_o applaud_v still_o all_o his_o action_n very_o serious_o about_o noon_n look_v up_o to_o heaven_n out_o of_o a_o window_n and_o demand_v of_o those_o that_o be_v about_o he_o whether_o they_o see_v not_o a_o star_n near_o such_o a_o cloud_n for_o he_o say_v he_o be_v confident_a he_o do_v whereupon_o every_o one_o look_v up_o begin_v to_o deliver_v their_o opinion_n thus_o one_o say_v he_o see_v it_o and_o that_o it_o be_v a_o little_a bright_a star_n another_o that_o it_o twinkle_v very_o much_o etc._n etc._n every_o one_o with_o a_o several_a addition_n conclude_v positive_o as_o he_o say_v whereupon_o he_o say_v how_o unfortunate_a a_o man_n be_o i_o to_o have_v so_o many_o fool_n to_o my_o councillor_n no_o wise_a man_n than_o right_a and_o wrong_a to_o say_v as_o i_o say_v 301._o a_o gentleman_n in_o who_o face_n much_o drink_n have_v raise_v many_o pimple_n come_v into_o a_o barber_n shop_n and_o ask_v the_o barber_n to_o shave_v he_o but_o on_o this_o condition_n that_o if_o he_o shave_v he_o and_o cut_v any_o of_o his_o pimple_n he_o will_v kill_v he_o if_o not_o he_o will_v give_v he_o a_o piece_n of_o gold_n the_o barber_n like_v not_o those_o term_n and_o plain_o deny_v it_o but_o his_o man_n undertake_v it_o and_o though_o with_o great_a difficulty_n yet_o with_o as_o much_o care_n he_o shave_v he_o and_o never_o cut_v he_o and_o hâ—d_v the_o piece_n of_o gold_n then_o say_v the_o gentleman_n now_o sirrah_n what_o will_v you_o have_v do_v if_o you_o have_v cut_v i_o why_o sir_n say_v he_o i_o shall_v have_v see_v the_o blood_n first_o and_o then_o i_o will_v have_v cut_v your_o threat_n and_o plead_v it_o be_v by_o accident_n which_o word_n so_o wrought_v upon_o the_o gentleman_n that_o ever_o after_o he_o shave_v himself_o 302._o the_o king_n go_v to_o see_v his_o new_a palace_n as_o it_o be_v building_n a_o courtier_n not_o over-wise_a happen_v to_o be_v in_o his_o retinue_n and_o when_o they_o have_v be_v there_o a_o little_a while_n the_o master_n workman_n come_v and_o give_v they_o a_o account_n of_o such_o and_o such_o lodging_n and_o every_o one_o judge_v something_o to_o be_v so_o and_o so_o at_o last_o come_v mâ—_n simple_a courtier_n think_v to_o say_v something_o as_o well_o as_o the_o rest_n and_o ask_v what_o that_o black_a marble_n be_v for_o the_o master_n workman_n reply_v it_o be_v for_o the_o house_n of_o office_n ah_o let_v we_o go_v away_o say_v he_o i_o know_v it_o be_v so_o for_o i_o smell_v it_o above_o a_o hour_n ago_o 203._o a_o witty_a fellow_n in_o london_n take_v one_o day_n many_o rams-horn_n in_o his_o basket_n and_o go_v up_o and_o down_o the_o city_n cry_v new_a fruit_n new_a fruit_n in_o the_o winter_n this_o make_v many_o people_n and_o among_o the_o rest_n a_o lawyer_n to_o call_v he_o to_o he_o who_o see_v his_o ware_n laugh_v at_o he_o say_v you_o fool_n who_o do_v you_o think_v will_v buy_v your_o horn_n oh_o sir_n reply_v he_o though_o you_o be_v provide_v yet_o i_o may_v meet_v with_o some_o that_o be_v not_o 304._o a_o simple_a peasant_n lie_v on_o night_n upon_o the_o ground_n and_o find_v it_o very_o uneasy_a when_o he_o awake_v in_o the_o morning_n see_v a_o feather_n under_o his_o head_n oh_o say_v he_o do_v one_o feather_n cause_v i_o so_o much_o disease_n how_o be_v they_o trouble_v that_o lie_n on_o whole_a feather_n bed_n 305._o virgil_n the_o famous_a poet_n be_v much_o in_o favour_n through_o his_o great_a learning_n and_o judgement_n with_o augustus_n in_o so_o much_o that_o he_o have_v his_o bread_n from_o he_o augustus_n one_o day_n know_v his_o deep_a discretion_n ask_v he_o private_o if_o he_o can_v guess_v who_o be_v his_o father_n to_o which_o he_o reply_v true_o sir_n i_o do_v very_o believe_v he_o be_v a_o baker_n and_o when_o that_o cesar_n ask_v the_o reason_n because_o say_v he_o you_o always_o reward_v i_o with_o bread_n with_o which_o answer_n augustus_n be_v well_o please_v reward_v he_o afterward_o with_o money_n 306._o a_o poor_a scholar_n in_o france_n be_v very_o hungry_a come_v into_o a_o shop_n where_o petits_fw-fr pates_n be_v sell_v and_o ache_v what_o he_o shall_v give_v the_o man_n to_o let_v he_o eat_v his_o belly_n full_a he_o tell_v he_o he_o shall_v give_v he_o twenty_o penny_n the_o scholar_n tell_v he_o he_o will_v give_v fifteen_o and_o the_o man_n take_v he_o at_o his_o word_n so_o the_o scholar_n sit_v down_o and_o eat_v the_o first_o oven_n full_a which_o contain_v four_o dozen_o the_o man_n see_v that_o ask_v if_o he_o will_v not_o drink_v a_o glass_n of_o wine_n oh_o no_o not_o yet_o reply_v he_o i_o do_v not_o use_v to_o drink_v till_o the_o three_o oven_n full_a so_o the_o poor_a fellow_n be_v glad_a to_o let_v he_o go_v with_o what_o he_o have_v eat_v without_o pay_v a_o farthing_n for_o fear_v he_o shall_v have_v undo_v he_o 307._o pope_n alexander_n be_v accustom_v high_o to_o commend_v the_o institution_n of_o the_o single_a life_n of_o priest_n and_o to_o blame_v their_o use_n of_o concubine_n be_v wont_a to_o say_v god_n have_v forbid_v we_o to_o get_v child_n and_o the_o devil_n have_v give_v we_o nephew_n 308._o pope_n boniface_n be_v tell_v by_o one_o of_o his_o court_n that_o there_o be_v a_o pilgrim_n of_o the_o country_n of_o bavaria_n come_v to_o rome_n of_o purpose_n to_o visit_v the_o religious_a place_n of_o the_o city_n who_o do_v altogether_o resemble_v he_o both_o in_o person_n and_o in_o countenance_n boniface_n have_v cause_v he_o to_o be_v send_v for_o to_o his_o presence_n demand_v of_o he_o if_o his_o mother_n have_v ever_o be_v at_o rome_n the_o pilgrim_n perceive_v himself_o touch_v with_o supposition_n of_o bastardy_n answer_v holy_a father_n my_o mother_n be_v never_o in_o this_o country_n but_o my_o father_n have_v be_v here_o many_o time_n 309._o some_o good_a companion_n be_v very_o merry_a together_o fall_v into_o a_o discourse_n concern_v beard_n and_o some_o pretend_v to_o conjecture_v other_o quality_n and_o condition_n by_o their_o beard_n at_o last_o in_o continuance_n of_o the_o discourse_n one_o who_o have_v a_o red_a beard_n and_o hair_n much_o of_o the_o same_o colour_n be_v very_o desirous_a to_o know_v what_o they_o think_v ofhim_v why_o i_o shall_v guess_v say_v another_o by_o your_o cow-coloured_a beard_n that_o you_o be_v a_o calf_n 310._o a_o gentleman_n go_v one_o night_n to_o the_o house_n