and_o miserable_a to_o die_v in_o sin_n in_o a_o state_n of_o sin_n in_o the_o guilt_n of_o sin_n under_o the_o reign_n and_o power_n of_o sin_n in_o the_o arm_n and_o embrace_n of_o sin_n sin_n be_v the_o transgression_n of_o a_o righteous_a law_n the_o violation_n of_o infinite_a holiness_n and_o justice_n and_o rebellion_n against_o divine_a majesty_n and_o authority_n it_o always_o have_v demerit_n and_o guilt_n consequent_a upon_o it_o which_o oblige_v and_o bind_v the_o sinner_n to_o undergo_v that_o punishment_n which_o be_v natural_o due_a to_o it_o which_o punishment_n be_v death_n rome_n 1._o 32._o they_o which_o commit_v such_o thing_n be_v worthy_a of_o death_n thus_o sin_n become_v the_o weapon_n or_o sting_n of_o death_n by_o which_o it_o have_v power_n to_o destroy_v death_n come_v upon_o the_o sinner_n as_o a_o bailiff_n or_o sergeant_n from_o the_o judge_n with_o warrant_n to_o apprehend_v and_o bring_v the_o sinner_n to_o give_v account_n or_o as_o a_o executioner_n to_o take_v vengeance_n to_o pay_v the_o sinner_n the_o just_a wage_n of_o his_o sin_n for_o the_o reparation_n of_o a_o break_a law_n for_o the_o satisfaction_n of_o offend_a justice_n for_o the_o declaration_n of_o divine_a hatred_n and_o displeasure_n against_o sin_n and_o for_o the_o manifestation_n of_o god_n glorious_a power_n and_o wrath_n against_o the_o guilty_a and_o what_o a_o terror_n must_v death_n needs_o be_v when_o it_o appear_v in_o this_o shape_n and_o arm_v with_o this_o sting_n know_v o_o presumptuous_a and_o secure_a sinner_n though_o wickedness_n be_v now_o sweet_a in_o thy_o mouth_n and_o thou_o hide_v it_o under_o thy_o tongue_n though_o thou_o swallow_a down_n delicious_o thy_o forbid_a morsel_n of_o sensual_a pleasure_n and_o worldly_a gain_n yet_o this_o meat_n will_v soon_o be_v turn_v in_o thy_o bowel_n and_o become_v the_o gall_n of_o asp_n within_o thou_o at_o last_o at_o death_n it_o will_v bite_v as_o a_o serpent_n and_o sting_v like_o a_o adder_n what_o horror_n will_v fill_v thy_o soul_n when_o approach_a death_n shall_v awaken_v thy_o sleepy_a conscience_n as_o oft_o time_n it_o do_v and_o thy_o awaken_v conscience_n shall_v charge_v thou_o with_o thy_o inexcusable_a transgression_n of_o a_o righteous_a law_n thy_o gross_a neglect_n of_o command_a duty_n thy_o industerious_a provision_n to_o satisfy_v the_o flesh_n thy_o ready_a compliance_n with_o the_o call_n of_o temptation_n thy_o irreparable_a loss_n of_o precious_a time_n thy_o hypocritical_a deal_n with_o god_n in_o covenant_n the_o stop_v of_o thy_o ear_n at_o the_o voice_n of_o conscience_n the_o shut_n of_o thy_o eye_n against_o the_o light_n of_o scripture_n the_o harden_v of_o thy_o heart_n against_o the_o motion_n of_o the_o spirit_n thy_o unbelieve_a refusal_n of_o a_o offer_a saviour_n thy_o unprofitable_a misimprovement_n of_o mean_n of_o grace_n thy_o unthankful_a abuse_n of_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n and_o obstinate_a incorrigibleness_n under_o his_o judgement_n with_o many_o other_o instance_n of_o multiply_a and_o aggravate_v sin_n through_o a_o long_a life_n whence_o will_v arise_v dismal_a apprehension_n of_o the_o wrath_n of_o a_o offend_a god_n a_o certain_a fearful_a expectation_n of_o judgement_n to_o come_v and_o a_o pre-occupation_n of_o eternal_a torment_n and_o everlasting_a burn_n this_o be_v that_o sting_n of_o death_n the_o weapon_n wherewith_o it_o be_v arm_v against_o thou_o wherein_o consist_v its_o power_n and_o by_o which_o it_o be_v so_o terrible_a 2._o add_v to_o this_o the_o strength_n which_o this_o sting_n have_v from_o the_o law_n for_o say_v the_o apostle_n the_o strength_n of_o sin_n be_v the_o law_n and_o that_o two_o way_n 1_o sy_n as_o the_o law_n discover_v and_o convince_v of_o sin_n rom._n 5._o 13._o sin_n be_v not_o impute_v where_o there_o be_v no_o law_n man_n be_v not_o prone_a to_o charge_v themselves_o with_o sin_n where_o there_o be_v no_o law_n therefore_o gal._n 3._o 19_o the_o law_n be_v add_v because_o of_o transgression_n that_o be_v to_o make_v transgression_n appear_v hence_o we_o read_v rom._n 3._o 20._o by_o the_o law_n be_v the_o knowledge_n of_o sin_n and_o rom._n 7._o 9_o 13._o i_o be_v alive_a without_o the_o law_n once_o in_o my_o own_o opinion_n but_o when_o the_o commandment_n come_v sin_n revive_v and_o i_o die_v i_o be_v convince_v i_o be_v in_o a_o state_n of_o sin_n and_o death_n and_o v_o 13._o sin_n by_o the_o commandment_n become_v exceed_o sinful_a thus_o sin_n as_o the_o sting_n of_o death_n be_v strengthen_v by_o the_o law_n while_o man_n thereby_o be_v more_o clear_o and_o full_o convince_v of_o it_o and_o the_o great_a the_o conviction_n be_v the_o sharp_a be_v the_o sting_n 2_o lie_n as_o the_o law_n curse_v and_o condemn_v the_o sinner_n gal._n 3._o 10._o curse_a be_v every_o one_o that_o continue_v not_o in_o all_o thing_n which_o be_v write_v in_o the_o book_n of_o the_o law_n to_o do_v they_o hence_o as_o before_o rom._n 7._o 9_o when_o the_o commandment_n came._n i_o die_v and_o 2_o cor._n 3._o 7._o the_o law_n be_v call_v the_o ministration_n of_o death_n the_o law_n bind_v the_o sinner_n over_o to_o the_o judgement_n of_o the_o great_a day_n it_o hold_v he_o fast_o under_o his_o guilt_n without_o hope_n of_o pardon_n pass_v sentence_n of_o condemnation_n upon_o he_o and_o begin_v the_o execution_n by_o wound_v the_o spirit_n terrify_v the_o soul_n with_o pre-apprehension_n and_o foreta_v of_o the_o wrath_n to_o come_v the_o sum_n of_o the_o terror_n of_o death_n be_v this_o approach_v death_n awaken_v the_o secure_a conscience_n awaken_v conscience_n charge_v with_o the_o guilt_n of_o sin_n this_o sin_n be_v strengthen_v with_o a_o convince_v curse_a law_n the_o die_a wretch_n see_v his_o day_n of_o sensual_a delight_n and_o pleasure_n his_o day_n of_o worldly_a gain_n and_o purchase_n his_o day_n of_o carnal_a fellowship_n with_o man_n and_o especial_o his_o day_n of_o grace_n and_o mercy_n with_o god_n pass_v away_o find_v his_o spirit_n faint_v his_o heart_n and_o flesh_n fail_v anguish_n and_o pang_n take_v hold_v of_o he_o and_o his_o soul_n forthwith_o to_o be_v require_v apprehend_v arrest_v summon_v and_o hale_v out_o of_o his_o body_n from_o all_o friend_n mean_n help_n and_o hope_n to_o appear_v naked_a before_o god_n the_o judge_n of_o all_o man_n to_o give_v a_o account_n of_o a_o sinful_a life_n and_o to_o receive_v a_o righteous_a doom_n viz._n depart_v from_o i_o you_o curse_v into_o everlasting_a fire_n prepare_v for_o the_o devil_n and_o his_o angel_n and_o then_o to_o go_v away_o into_o everlasting_a punishment_n at_o this_o what_o heart_n of_o man_n can_v contain_v and_o possess_v himself_o without_o fear_n who_o but_o must_v be_v appall_v confound_v amaze_a terrify_v know_v the_o terror_n say_v st._n paul_n 2_o cor._n 5._o 1._o speak_v of_o this_o appearance_n and_o account_n felix_n tremble_v say_v st._n luke_n act._n 24._o 25._o when_o he_o hear_v of_o judgement_n to_o come_v it_o be_v a_o fearful_a look_v for_o of_o judgement_n and_o fiery_a indignation_n say_v the_o author_n to_o the_o hebrew_n chap._n 10._o 27._o and_o a_o fearful_a thing_n to_o fall_v into_o the_o hand_n of_o the_o live_n god_n ver_fw-la 31._o thus_o have_v we_o represent_v the_o enemy_n death_n in_o its_o power_n and_o pomp_n as_o it_o reign_v over_o the_o fall_v son_n and_o daughter_n of_o adam_n which_o appear_v so_o terrible_a that_o woe_n be_v to_o those_o that_o fall_v under_o the_o power_n of_o it_o 2._o we_o will_v now_o show_v you_o this_o enemy_n fall_v and_o overcome_v before_o believer_n believer_n be_v victorious_a over_o death_n object_n but_o say_v natural_a carnal_a reason_n be_v not_o this_o a_o great_a paradox_n who_o will_v believe_v it_o one_o enoch_n indeed_o be_v translate_v that_o he_o shall_v not_o see_v death_n and_o elijah_n go_v up_o to_o heaven_n in_o a_o fiery_a chariot_n but_o else_o the_o patriarch_n and_o prophet_n and_o apostle_n and_o all_o the_o saint_n in_o their_o successive_a generation_n have_v yield_v up_o to_o death_n and_o do_v not_o every_o day_n bear_v witness_n be_v we_o not_o all_o here_o this_o day_n lament_v a_o very_a holy_a and_o eminent_a saint_n and_o servant_z of_o jesus_n christ_n fall_v by_o the_o stroke_n of_o death_n where_o then_o be_v the_o victory_n and_o how_o be_v death_n overcome_v answ_n notwithstanding_o all_o this_o yet_o very_o death_n be_v overcome_v not_o ut_fw-la ne_fw-la sit_fw-la but_o ut_fw-la ne_fw-la obsit_fw-la not_o that_o it_o shall_v not_o be_v but_o that_o it_o shall_v not_o be_v hurtful_a to_o believer_n and_o this_o victory_n consist_v in_o four_o thing_n 1._o death_n be_v disarm_v to_o believer_n that_o it_o can_v sting_v they_o when_o death_n come_v it_o find_v no_o sin_n in_o they_o unpardoned_a no_o guilt_n remain_v as_o a_o obligation_n
something_o to_o it_o before_o prayer_n often_o exhort_v his_o family_n to_o a_o reverend_a demeanour_n of_o themselves_o in_o the_o worship_n of_o god_n and_o will_v be_v much_o trouble_v when_o he_o understand_v or_o discern_v any_o thing_n to_o the_o contrary_n once_o a_o week_n for_o the_o most_o part_n he_o do_v catechise_v both_o child_n and_o servant_n either_o out_o of_o the_o assembly_n or_o his_o own_o scriptural_a catechism_n and_o explain_v it_o to_o they_o and_o once_o a_o fortnight_n if_o not_o divert_v by_o urgent_a occasion_n he_o go_v over_o some_o principle_n of_o religion_n open_v and_o explain_v it_o in_o a_o catiehistical_a way_n which_o his_o child_n and_o servant_n be_v to_o give_v he_o a_o account_n of_o the_o next_o fortnight_n and_o when_o they_o have_v so_o do_v he_o proceed_v to_o another_o principle_n and_o thus_o he_o do_v from_o time_n to_o time_n what_o sermon_n the_o youth_n of_o the_o family_n hear_v upon_o the_o lord_n day_n or_o at_o any_o other_o time_n they_o give_v a_o account_n thereof_o to_o he_o as_o they_o can_v remember_v he_o keep_v private_a day_n of_o humiliation_n with_o his_o family_n as_o often_o as_o he_o can_v gain_v opportunity_n for_o it_o on_o which_o day_n he_o will_v if_o not_o prevent_v deal_v particular_o with_o every_o one_o or_o as_o many_o as_o he_o have_v time_n for_o that_o be_v under_o his_o charge_n about_o the_o matter_n of_o their_o soul_n and_o take_v care_n that_o all_o in_o his_o family_n shall_v call_v upon_o god_n and_o pray_v to_o he_o in_o secret_a as_o well_o as_o be_v present_a at_o family_n duty_n and_o when_o any_o of_o his_o brethren_n come_v to_o usit_fw-la he_o he_o be_v not_o willing_a to_o let_v they_o depart_v without_o prayer_n his_o family_n be_v a_o house_n of_o prayer_n these_o his_o labour_n in_o his_o family_n god_n bless_v and_o succeed_v to_o the_o spiritual_a good_a of_o several_a that_o come_v under_o his_o roof_n he_o be_v most_o tender_o conscientious_a in_o keep_v holy_a the_o sabbath_n day_n whereof_o he_o be_v a_o strict_a observer_n and_o take_v care_n that_o all_o under_o his_o roof_n shall_v do_v the_o same_o he_o keep_v a_o very_a severe_a watch_n not_o only_o over_o his_o word_n and_o action_n but_o his_o very_a thought_n also_o quick_o reflect_v thereon_o not_o only_a when_o vain_a and_o sinful_a but_o when_o impertinent_a to_o the_o holiness_n and_o duty_n of_o the_o day_n whereof_o he_o have_v leave_v the_o follow_a testimony_n april_n 29._o 1666._o my_o heart_n be_v much_o out_o of_o frame_n upon_o the_o lord_n day_n full_a of_o vain_a and_o sinful_a thought_n as_o i_o be_v go_v to_o prayer_n in_o the_o afternoon_n alone_o god_n bring_v to_o remembrance_n ps_n 40._o 12_o 17._o innumerable_a evil_n have_v compass_a i_o about_o my_o iniquity_n have_v take_v hold_v upon_o i_o so_o that_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o look_v up_o yet_o the_o lord_n think_v upon_o i_o this_o be_v a_o stay_n to_o i_o apr._n 4._o i_o go_v forth_o on_o several_a occasion_n none_o of_o they_o succeed_v the_o first_o contrivance_n of_o that_o journey_n be_v cast_v into_o my_o thought_n on_o the_o lord_n day_n in_o a_o time_n of_o prayer_n i_o lay_v it_o aside_o till_o monday_n and_o then_o consider_v further_o of_o it_o and_o see_v it_o convenient_a for_o the_o best_a order_v of_o my_o affair_n but_o not_o humble_v my_o soul_n for_o those_o contrivance_n so_o unreasonable_o arise_v in_o my_o mind_n i_o be_v cross_v in_o they_o hereupon_o i_o determine_v for_o time_n to_o come_v when_o any_o thought_n or_o contrivance_n about_o order_v my_o affair_n be_v cast_v into_o my_o mind_n on_o lord_n day_n or_o on_o other_o day_n in_o time_n of_o holy_a duty_n to_o lay_v they_o aside_o till_o a_o more_o convenient_a time_n and_o if_o upon_o deliberation_n that_o way_n of_o order_v my_o affair_n seem_v best_a which_o be_v cast_v into_o my_o mind_n in_o time_n of_o holy_a duty_n i_o will_v not_o hereupon_o neglect_v that_o way_n lest_o satan_n shall_v get_v advantage_n of_o i_o but_o i_o will_v first_o humble_v my_o soul_n for_o its_o wander_n and_o suffering_n such_o thought_n to_o arise_v so_o unreasonable_o and_o take_v to_o christ_n for_o pardon_n of_o the_o irregularity_n of_o my_o heart_n and_o then_o not_o fear_v to_o order_v my_o affair_n in_o that_o way_n that_o seem_v most_o agreeable_a to_o reason_n and_o near_o the_o rule_n of_o god_n word_n though_o the_o contrivance_n be_v first_o cast_v into_o my_o mind_n at_o a_o unseasonable_a time_n have_v a_o letter_n of_o spiritual_a advice_n and_o counsel_n to_o write_v to_o a_o friend_n and_o have_v no_o spare_a time_n but_o on_o the_o lord_n day_n to_o do_v it_o i_o be_v doubtful_a whether_o i_o may_v spend_v some_o part_n of_o that_o day_n on_o such_o employment_n as_o i_o be_v muse_v on_o my_o bed_n what_o i_o have_v best_o do_v that_o scripture_n come_v to_o my_o mind_n rev._n 1._o 10_o 11._o i_o be_v in_o the_o spirit_n on_o the_o lord_n day_n and_o i_o hear_v a_o voice_n say_v what_o thou_o see_v write_v in_o a_o book_n and_o send_v it_o to_o the_o seven_o church_n whence_o i_o conclude_v it_o to_o be_v lawful_a to_o write_v as_o well_o as_o read_v hear_v meditate_v and_o discourse_n of_o spirital_a matter_n on_o the_o lord_n day_n his_o charity_n have_v no_o less_o measure_n than_o the_o rest_n of_o his_o grace_n which_o he_o account_v one_o of_o the_o best_a character_n of_o a_o christian_n lament_v sometime_o the_o division_n among_o professor_n of_o religion_n he_o will_v say_v he_o do_v not_o value_v a_o christian_a by_o his_o great_a knowledge_n and_o eminent_a part_n but_o by_o his_o great_a charity_n and_o love_n to_o his_o brethren_n this_o he_o extend_v to_o various_a sort_n of_o object_n as_o towards_o those_o who_o be_v at_o difference_n one_o with_o another_o he_o be_v a_o industrious_a peacemaker_n offer_v himself_o to_o interpose_v to_o make_v up_o the_o breach_n take_v journey_n when_o at_o distance_n in_o order_n to_o it_o towards_o those_o that_o have_v difference_n with_o himself_o about_o worldly_a concern_v from_o which_o he_o be_v not_o altogether_o free_a though_o altogether_o innocent_a when_o he_o suffer_v wrong_a by_o any_o his_o care_n be_v that_o they_o shall_v suffer_v none_o by_o he_o or_o he_o either_o in_o word_n or_o deed_n always_o practise_v himself_o and_o counsel_v other_o to_o do_v good_a against_o evil_n he_o will_v make_v the_o best_a construction_n that_o be_v possible_a of_o the_o word_n and_o action_n of_o his_o adversary_n often_o make_v mention_n of_o that_o scripture_n 1_o cor._n 13._o 5._o charity_n think_v no_o evil_a towards_o his_o friend_n his_o friendship_n be_v hearty_a ingenuous_a faithful_a and_o open_a he_o receive_v they_o into_o his_o house_n glad_o entertain_v they_o liberal_o converse_v with_o they_o cheerful_o sympathise_v with_o they_o in_o their_o affliction_n affectionate_o and_o serve_v they_o as_o he_o have_v occasion_n industrious_o towards_o those_o that_o persecute_v he_o and_o other_o for_o conscience_n and_o religion_n sake_n he_o observe_v the_o command_n of_o christ_n math._n 5._o 44._o he_o affcctionate_o pity_v they_o and_o pray_v for_o they_o daily_o and_o when_o he_o hear_v any_o passionate_a expression_n against_o they_o for_o their_o violence_n and_o unrighteousness_n he_o will_v be_v offend_v and_o charge_v people_n to_o pray_v more_o earnest_o for_o they_o and_o seek_v opportunity_n to_o do_v they_o good_a towards_o those_o that_o dissent_v from_o he_o in_o the_o matter_n of_o god_n he_o have_v a_o spirit_n of_o meekness_n and_o forbearance_n embrace_v all_o with_o christian_a love_n who_o practice_n do_v not_o destroy_v their_o profession_n of_o christianity_n colchester_n be_v a_o very_a divide_a place_n when_o he_o be_v call_v thither_o upon_o the_o account_n of_o diverse_a persuasion_n yet_o he_o so_o behave_v himself_o with_o all_o humility_n modiration_n tenderness_n brotherly_a kindness_n and_o charitable_a judgement_n that_o they_o be_v general_o unite_v in_o their_o respect_n and_o esteem_v for_o he_o and_o though_o he_o can_v not_o with_o satisfaction_n to_o his_o conscience_n conform_v to_o all_o that_o the_o law_n require_v yet_o he_o judge_v many_o that_o do_v to_o be_v very_o good_a man_n and_o have_v a_o real_a honour_n for_o they_o towards_o the_o poor_a and_o such_o as_o be_v reduce_v to_o straits_n and_o difficulty_n in_o this_o world_n he_o be_v pitiful_a and_o bountiful_a he_o devise_v liberal_a thing_n and_o draw_v out_o his_o soul_n to_o the_o hungry_a in_o the_o exercise_n whereof_o he_o observe_v our_o saviour_n rule_n math._n 6._o 1_o 2_o 3._o this_o indeed_o be_v one_o of_o his_o secret_n which_o he_o always_o industrious_o conceal_v as_o much_o as_o he_o can_v yet_o variety_n of_o object_n bare_a
witness_n to_o he_o the_o widow_n the_o fatherless_a the_o stranger_n the_o sick_a the_o sufferer_n have_v all_o be_v refresh_v from_o his_o compassion_n though_o he_o offer_v to_o preach_v free_o at_o st_n james_n church_n in_o colchester_n on_o lord_n day_n morning_n as_o have_v be_v before_o mention_v not_o desire_v or_o expect_v any_o reward_n yet_o the_o civility_n of_o the_o people_n do_v gratify_v he_o for_o his_o pain_n the_o great_a part_n of_o which_o i_o be_o assure_v from_o a_o hand_n privy_a to_o it_o he_o distribute_v to_o charitable_a use_n and_o this_o i_o read_v under_o his_o own_o hand_n nou._n 1._o 1665._o i_o make_v a_o vow_n to_o god_n to_o give_v he_o the_o ten_o of_o all_o that_o he_o shall_v give_v unto_o i_o the_o ensue_a year_n that_o which_o occasion_v i_o to_o vow_v this_o vow_n be_v the_o read_n gen._n 28._o which_o fall_v out_o that_o morning_n in_o my_o ordinary_a course_n where_o i_o observe_v that_o most_o of_o those_o blessing_n which_o jacob_n mention_n as_o his_o inducement_n to_o his_o vow_n god_n have_v give_v i_o he_o have_v vouchsafe_v i_o his_o presence_n he_o have_v gracious_o preserve_v and_o keep_v i_o from_o my_o enemy_n and_o the_o noisome_a pestilence_n he_o have_v give_v i_o bread_n and_o raiment_n i_o add_v pro._n 3._o 9_o honour_n the_o lord_n with_o thy_o substance_n and_o with_o the_o first_o fruit_n of_o all_o thy_o increase_n i_o considere_v also_o that_o what_o i_o give_v to_o god_n shall_v be_v fruit_n abound_v to_o my_o account_n phil._n 4._o 17._o math._n 25._o 34_o 35_o 36._o i_o consider_v which_o way_n i_o shall_v give_v it_o to_o god_n and_o i_o see_v from_o prov._n 19_o 17._o that_o what_o be_v give_v to_o the_o poor_a be_v give_v to_o god_n especial_o what_o be_v give_v to_o the_o poor_a saint_n and_o member_n of_o christ_n math._n 25._o 35_o 40._o and_o as_o to_o the_o suffer_a minister_n of_o christ_n i_o determine_v to_o bestow_v part_n of_o what_o i_o have_v dedicate_v to_o god_n on_o they_o and_o that_o though_o they_o be_v not_o bring_v to_o such_o extremity_n as_o not_o to_o know_v how_o to_o subsist_v i_o be_v move_v thereunto_o by_o phil._n 4._o 10_o 11_o 14_o 18._o the_o apostle_n paul_n be_v not_o in_o such_o want_n but_o that_o he_o know_v how_o to_o live_v comfortable_o and_o content_o yet_o he_o say_v the_o philippian_n do_v well_o in_o communicate_v with_o his_o affliction_n and_o tell_v they_o that_o their_o charity_n towards_o he_o be_v a_o odour_n of_o a_o sweet_a smell_n a_o sacrifice_n acceptable_a and_o well_o please_v to_o god_n towards_o the_o church_n of_o god_n in_o general_n his_o indefatigable_a labour_n in_o preach_v and_o write_v his_o frequent_a fast_n and_o humiliation_n his_o fervent_a and_o wrestle_a prayer_n for_o the_o peace_n of_o jerusalem_n his_o affectionate_a sympathize_v with_o she_o in_o her_o suffering_n be_v the_o undeniable_a testimony_n of_o his_o love_n his_o own_o liberality_n and_o stir_v up_o of_o other_o thereunto_o for_o the_o education_n of_o such_o poor_a scholar_n as_o be_v hopeful_a for_o the_o work_n of_o the_o ministry_n be_v the_o effect_n of_o the_o same_o principle_n to_o which_o must_v be_v add_v his_o last-will_a and_o testament_n wherein_o out_o of_o pure_a zeal_n and_o love_n to_o the_o service_n and_o enlargement_n of_o the_o church_n he_o have_v bequeath_v the_o great_a part_n of_o his_o well_o furnish_v library_n even_o the_o choice_a and_o most_o valuable_a of_o his_o book_n to_o gonvile_n and_o caius_n college_n in_o cambridge_n with_o five_o hundred_o pound_n to_o be_v lay_v out_o by_o his_o executrix_n in_o purchase_v a_o freehold_n estate_n or_o impropriation_n to_o be_v settle_v upon_o the_o say_a college_n for_o the_o maintenance_n of_o a_o scholar_n and_o fellow_n there_o successive_o for_o ever_o provide_v that_o such_o only_o be_v elect_v thereto_o as_o be_v poor_a or_o orphan_n or_o the_o son_n of_o poor_a minister_n of_o the_o best_a and_o most_o hopeful_a part_n oblige_v they_o to_o the_o study_n of_o divinity_n and_o the_o ministerial_a work_n take_v special_a care_n that_o such_o be_v well_o ground_v and_o establish_v in_o the_o orthodox_n faith_n the_o true_a reform_a protestant_a religion_n and_o in_o case_n any_o such_o elect_v shall_v become_v corrupt_a in_o doctrine_n or_o scandalous_a in_o life_n then_o after_o due_a admonition_n and_o non-reformation_n his_o place_n to_o be_v declare_v void_a and_o another_o to_o be_v choose_v in_o his_o stead_n and_o none_o to_o enjoy_v it_o long_o than_o twelve_o year_n beside_o which_o he_o have_v also_o bequeath_v in_o case_n his_o only_a daughter_n shall_v die_v before_o she_o shall_v accomplish_v the_o age_n of_o one_o and_o twenty_o year_n twenty_o pound_n per_fw-la annum_fw-la to_o be_v settle_v upon_o the_o college_n in_o new_a england_n for_o the_o education_n of_o a_o convert_v indian_a or_o any_o other_o that_o will_v learn_v the_o indian_a language_n to_o be_v a_o minister_n and_o go_v to_o preach_v the_o gospel_n to_o the_o poor_a indian_n nor_o be_v this_o the_o first_o expression_n of_o his_o pious_a regard_n to_o that_o remote_a part_n of_o the_o world_n for_o when_o he_o hear_v of_o that_o waste_a fire_n that_o lay_v so_o great_a a_o part_n of_o boston_n in_o n._n e._n in_o ash_n he_o send_v thither_o free_o to_o be_v distribute_v among_o the_o sufferer_n a_o considerable_a quantity_n of_o his_o book_n entitle_v counsel_n to_o the_o afflict_a which_o he_o have_v write_v upon_o the_o occasion_n of_o the_o burn_a of_o london_n beyond_o which_o he_o have_v also_o give_v twenty_o five_o pound_n to_o charitable_a use_n which_o beque_v he_o have_v make_v yet_o with_o all_o due_a respect_n to_o his_o family_n not_o in_o the_o least_o decline_v from_o the_o kindness_n of_o a_o husband_n or_o the_o tenderness_n of_o a_o father_n so_o order_v his_o charity_n to_o other_o as_o withal_o secure_v to_o his_o widow_n and_o fatherless_a child_n not_o only_o a_o necessary_a and_o competent_a but_o even_o a_o liberal_a and_o plentiful_a subsistence_n reserve_v to_o they_o the_o rent_n of_o what_o he_o have_v bequeath_v to_o the_o college_n during_o their_o natural_a life_n hitherto_o the_o reader_n have_v have_v a_o account_n of_o this_o eminent_a saint_n give_v he_o for_o the_o most_o part_n from_o those_o act_n and_o exercise_n of_o his_o life_n by_o which_o he_o be_v visible_a to_o the_o discern_a and_o judicious_a eye_n of_o those_o that_o know_v he_o we_o shall_v now_o proceed_v to_o give_v a_o further_a account_n of_o those_o his_o own_o observation_n and_o experience_n of_o himself_o through_o which_o we_o may_v look_v into_o the_o very_a frame_n and_o temper_n the_o thought_n and_o affection_n of_o his_o heart_n some_o of_o which_o he_o have_v thus_o record_v his_o observation_n and_o experience_n jan._n 10._o 1653._o in_o read_v of_o calvin_n institution_n i_o meet_v with_o that_o place_n in_o isa_n 44._o 3._o upon_o the_o read_n whereof_o have_v be_v the_o the_o night_n before_o under_o conviction_n of_o the_o emptiness_n and_o barrenness_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o some_o despondency_n of_o spirit_n thereupon_o i_o conceive_v some_o hope_n and_o find_v my_o soul_n lift_v up_o towards_o god_n to_o wait_v for_o and_o expect_v the_o shed_v abroad_o of_o his_o spirit_n in_o my_o soul_n see_v he_o have_v say_v he_o will_v pour_v it_o out_o upon_o the_o dry_a ground_n but_o alas_o the_o lively_a sense_n of_o this_o be_v but_o momentany_a it_o be_v soon_o go_v and_o my_o old_a deadness_n of_o heart_n return_v upon_o i_o hence_o i_o observe_v that_o it_o be_v of_o singular_a use_n both_o for_o the_o establishment_n of_o true_a and_o discern_v of_o false_a comfort_n to_o see_v upon_o what_o ground_n our_o soul_n take_v in_o and_o upon_o what_o ground_n they_o let_v go_v their_o comfort_n the_o let_v go_v of_o our_o comfort_n ofttimes_o proceed_v from_o our_o let_n go_v of_o the_o promise_n when_o satan_n can_v prevail_v to_o beat_v we_o off_o from_o the_o promise_n he_o will_v quick_o rob_v we_o of_o our_o comfort_n i_o find_v that_o at_o several_a time_n i_o have_v be_v keep_v under_o doubt_n and_o fear_n and_o jealousy_n and_o yet_o have_v have_v no_o scripture_n ground_n for_o they_o so_o that_o i_o perceive_v they_o proceedeâ—_n from_o satan_n darken_n my_o heart_n and_o keep_v i_o in_o unbelief_n and_o trouble_v of_o spirit_n feb._n 16._o my_o soul_n be_v deject_v because_o after_o long_o wâ—iting_v upon_o god_n for_o the_o fulfil_n of_o his_o covenant_n in_o give_v his_o spirit_n and_o carry_v on_o the_o work_n of_o faith_n and_o sanctification_n with_o power_n it_o have_v find_v no_o sensible_a incomes_a when_o i_o be_v read_v the_o scripture_n according_a to_o my_o usual_a custom_n the_o lord_n do_v rebuke_v the_o despondency_n of_o