will take great care at all times and all places to make you known for what you are VIII Resolve to make it known upon all occasions that Reports do not please you that you forget them as soon as they are told Shew that you are always perswaded that what is spoken of the absent is for the most part to be suspected for false and aggravated IX When you have made it known that you are not pleased with such Reports you will discourage all those that have a Mind to trouble you with them and the Countenance you receive them with when you hear them against your will will condemn both them that bring them and those that caused them to be brought X. A Wise Man never lends an Ear to such Reports and by that means he shuts the Mouth of all those that would make them You will prevent many troublesom Moments by declaring your self against them and by that means do good to them that were of the humour to make them and Cure them of a shameful Quality XI Never let either your Tongue or your Ears encourage these Reports I do not know which is most to blame he that hearkens to them or he that makes them but I know that nothing entertains a Man more in that unworthy Practice of making them than to give ear to them and to be pleased with the hearing of them XII You ought to put a Vail upon the Face of your Friend to hinder him from seeing any thing that may give him trouble you ought for his sake to impose a perpetual silence upon your self in those things that may vex him There is no pretext how specious soever can authorise you to make reports on such occasions XIII One of the first Laws not only of Friendship but of Civil Society is to banish forever Reports of all kinds there are a thousand things which concern Families that go beyond Friendship and the ordinary Tyes that a Man has with his Acquaintance it is to injure this Friendship and these Ties to make them take such care and caution in this matter as may trouble their quiet XIV It would be imprudent in you to report a thing that you know not but by the report of a particular Man who may lie or aggravate the matter and it would be injustice to make others believe what you do not know but on this manner yet it is an injustice that is too often committed because they are not cautious in that point and they are prone to commit it upon the false Principle that they are not concerned in it but he that said it was reported ought to justifie it XV. The Infidelity of a Friend that has betrayed your Secret does not give you a right to do the same by him Your Duty does not depend upon his his Faults does not authorise yours he has violated his Faith in a Secret you trusted him with it is a fault inexcusable yet you ought to consider him not as he is to you at present but as he has been the Secret that you owe him is an old debt it always remains so you owe it him still as much as you owe him Money which he lent you long since when you were all one XVI A trifling thing told by one of your Friends does not give you cause to break Friendship with him You must pardon this small indiscretion and to make your advantage of it that will teach you to be more cautious hereafter and not to trust him so easily especially in things of consequence XVII It is neither good nor honourable to make Reports and if it be lawful to think ill of those that speak them from the time that one should make a Story to me I should think him capable to commit all sorts of faults since there are none which he might more easily avoid than this Yet even one Story that a Man should report to me would give me an Idea of his Humour and his bad Inclination which I should have much ado ever to forget XVIII Never suffer either at your Table nor in your Walks nor in your Pleasures them who are accustomed to carry Tales look upon them always as Enemies to Civil Society as Persons that ought to be expell'd all Company and to be pointed at in a Word as Men without Honour or Honesty CHAP. X. Counsels upon Conscience I. MY Dear Children you cannot be too exact and circumspect in all that concerns your Conscience almost all the World pretends to be nice in this matter but very often they do not live according to that exactness they pretend For this nicety is but imaginary and for the most part they make Conscience after their own fancy II. This Nicety of Conscience which all pretend to ought not to pass in your Minds for imaginary because it is easie to form an Idea of a scrupulous Conscience when it is not so and oftentimes they are scrupulous only in some enormous Crimes which they do not commit or in such Vices as their Inclinations and Humours do not lead them to III. The most part of the World make their Conscience after their own fancy and make no scruple of Conscience in a thousand things that relate to their Interest Ambition or Pleasure and so they think themselves very conscientious because they make no Conscience of those things they have a mind to do but are very scrupulous in those things they will not do IV. If you have no Conscience but after this manner you will not long enjoy a quiet Conscience I do assure you you will resemble the Sick that abstain from Wine and Fruit and eating to excess all other sorts of meat are in danger of their Lives V. All the World know that we ought to submit our selves to the Laws of God and it is our Conscience that makes us understand how far this Law extends and reproaches us if we transgress it VI. Our Conscience is a looking-glass in which we see our selves what we are it is in this Looking-glass that you discover your self there is nothing of good or bad which you have done that can be conceal'd from you you may flatter your self but this Looking-glass is always faithful and will represent you truly as you are within in your very Soul VII Our Conscience is a Book in which our Thoughts our Words and our Actions are writ it is a Register that keeps an Account of all things this Book or Register sometimes opens it self and it is then when our Mind is troubled and the Reproaches which our Consciences make move us to change our lives But this Book presently shuts again because we do not make application enough to make an advantage of these good Motions we feel within us and these Motions do not stay long with us because they are not faithful and constant VIII I say further our Conscience is a Sluce where all the ordure of our Lives discharges it self and this Sluce is sometimes so full that it
ADVICE TO YOUNG GENTLEMEN In their Several Conditions of Life By way of ADDRESS From a Father to his Children By the Abbot GOVSSAVLT Counsellor in Parliament With his Sentiments and Maxims upon what passes in Civil Society Printed at PARIS 1697 and Translated into English LONDON Printed for Tho. Leigh at the Peacock against St. Dunstans Church in Fleet-street 1698. THE PREFACE THE Advice that is given here is of two sorts one is general and regards all sorts of Persons of whatsoever Profession they are without medling with their particular Employments and Actions the other is particular and considers what ordinarily occurs in the Affairs of the World It is cettain both the one and the other will not be unprofitable and the Methods of insinuating it into the Minds of the Reader will not be disagreeable It is a Father that gives Advice to his Children to make them worthy of the Name and Family from which they come and it is for that Reason that all the Counsels design to inspire them with Sentiments of Honour and Probity It is a Father that throughly understands the World and desires that his Children should be truly Upright and Religious and not remarkable for an affected and seeming Devotion and who desires at the same time that their Religion should not hinder them from having all the Qualities requisite to make them esteemed and beloved of all they converse with It is a Father that joining the Light of Religion with that which a long and consummated Experience in the Affairs of the World hath given him makes use both of the one and the other to make his Children to be distinguished by their Christian and their Moral Virtues All that he speaks to them is to subdue the Irregularities of their Minds and Manners and to teach them to lead their Lives contentedly in all the Troubles that their Employments and Business may give them His manner of speaking concisely and in few Words he thinks to be the best means to make an Impression upon their Minds and the Truth is laid naked and embraced for its own sake in effect it is made more familiar being coucht in few Words and makes a more lively and natural impression upon the Mind I know that the Book which Monsieur Hoquette hath writ upon the same Subject has been receiv'd with a general Applause and that all Men of Wit Learning and Probity have had it in great esteem heretofore I have read it with Pleasure and found it so well and considerately writ that I must affirm that I have seen nothing of that kind for its solidity and composure comparable to it I have yet an admirable and advantagious Idea of it in my Mind But it is so long since that Book has been writ that it is now scarce to be found and I thought that a little Novelty would not be displeasing I add that there cannot be too much written upon this Subject because it is so generally profitable and if I have had the same end that Monsieur Hoquett had I have certainly made use of different means to come to that end I have but an imperfect though a noble Idea of his Book so that I cannot make any advantage of what he has writ and much less can I make use of what he has thought Monsieur le Count de Bussy Raboutin to name him is sufficient to praise him he is so well known by his Merit that all the Learned without contest place him in the number of those that have made themselves the most admired and distinguished by their Writings Monsieur Raboutin I say has writ a Discourse to his Children which has been receiv'd it is enough to say like his other Works But how Elegant and Excellent soever his Book may be I hope I may be permitted to say that he hath not said all that may be said of the Subject but something new of my own Thoughts may be added Moreover the Method I have used in treating of this matter is so different from his that I could not chuse but publish my Thoughts upon this Subject My little Work was scarce begun but his appear'd in the World but that did not make me change my Design but I follow'd my own way and at length have arriv'd at the end I intended THE CONTENTS Chap. I. General Counsel upon all the Occurrences of Life Page 1 Chap. ii iii. Vpon the same Subject 6. 11 Chap. iv Advice concerning what kind of Life ought to be chosen and after what manner a Man should live in his Profession 15 Chap. v. Advice how one ought to live in the World 19 Chap. vi Advice upon what concerns Religion 23 Chap. vii Counsel in respect of the Company you are to keep 27 Chap. viii Vpon the same Subject 33 Chap. ix Advice concerning Reports 37 Chap. x. Counsels upon Conscience 42 Chap. xi Vpon the same Subject 48 Chap. xii Advice upon all that has the Air of Courage Choler and promptness to 1 quarrel 52 Chap. xiii Advice concerning the Judgment you ought to make of the Words and Actions of others 57 Chap. xiv Advice concerning what Thoughts we should have of Greatness and Riches of our Losses and the Misfortunes of our Lives 61 Chap. xv xvi Advice upon true and false Devotion 68 Chap. xvii Advice against Covetousness and all that relates to it 80 Chap. xviii Advice upon Vanity and true Glory 85 Chap. xix Advice upon Raillery 93 Chap. xx Of Charity and Alms which ought to be performed to the Poor 98 Chap. xxi Advice upon Sincerity in Words and the Way to know when we should speak and when we should be silent 103 Chap. xxii Vpon Evil Speaking or Slandering 110 Chap. xxiii Advice about Expences and the good management of them 115 Chap. xxiv xxv xxvi Advice upon the thoughts of Death 118 Chap. xxvii Advice upon Friends and the concerns of Friendship ADVICE TO Young Gentlemen In the several Conditions of Life By way of Address from a Father to his Children c. CHAP. I. General Counsel upon all the Occurrences of Life I. MY dear Children if you will be Happy and be esteemed in the World fear God be faithful to your Prince and live like Men of Honour and Integrity II. If any one comes a Mile to do you a Kindness go two to do him the like or greater in acknowledgment of it III. If you want a Fortune endeavour to merit one and force blind Fortune to open her Eyes by your constant and industrious Well-doing IV. Do not reprove publickyy those whom you think you have Right to correct lest you be thought to hate them rather than their Weakness and Faults V. You cannot be too circumspect in your Words for oftentimes one word spoke unawares or in raillery or even wittily costs him dear that thought to get Honour by it VI. Make as many Friends as you can for you will find but few true ones You will find your best Friends in
not to forget that he is a Christian on pretence that he is under the Pay of him that commands him he ought to do nothing against his Religion the noise of Arms ought not to hinder the hearing the Voice of his Conscience and Honour which will teach him what he ought to do in all occasions VII Have a great regard for Princes and all your Superiors but let your Conscience always go first and give it the preference in all things VIII After you have satisfied your Conscience and your Honour do all you can for your Kindred and Friends and you can never do too much IX Under pretence of Friendship never do an ill Action the Laws of Friendship ought not cannot carry you so far X. There are two things that ought to be extreamly precious whatsoever Profession you are of your Honour and your Conscience Your Honour ought to be dear to you because it is a personal good without which according to the Opinion of all Men all the rest are nothing Your Conscience yet ought to be more dear to you for when that has nothing to reproach you with Peace within will be your Consolation without which you will lead a languishing and miserable Life XI You ought to abhor any thing that is against your Honour and Conscience and nothing can oblige you more to detest an Action than when it robs you of either the one or the other XII As long as one enjoys perfect Health one easily pardons ill Customs the pretence is easie and favourable there needs nothing to excuse it but Humane frailty and the daily and pressing temptations to Sin you need no other Excuses These are the ordinary practices of the Men of this World do not follow such bad Examples but make good use of the bad management of others XIII A Man that loves the World and its Pleasures oftentimes from the impunity of his Crimes past draws the pernicious assurance of the same for the time to come and after having a long time stifled the remorse of Conscience procures such a peace of Conscience as he calls it that would affright any honest Man and ought to make you tremble lest you should fall into the same lethargy of the Mind XIV Be you perswaded that this disorder resembles the Root of a Thorn which you may take in your Hand and press it and it will do you no harm and may be it may seem to you to be more smooth than the Roots of other Plants but as it grows up it arms it self with Prickles that will prick you in such sort that sometimes your hurts may prove Mortal The same effect may proceed from this disorder which at first seems to do no harm but afterwards cuts to the quick and sometimes the Wounds become so great that it is difficult to Cure them XV. What matters it if you be not happy upon Earth provided you be so in Heaven What matters it if whilst you live you die to the World to Honours to Pleasures and to your self provided that the purity of your Conscience cause your Name to be writ in the Book of Life CHAP. XII Advice upon all that has the Air of Courage Choler and promptness to quarrel I. MY dear Children Gentleness and Civility is so much the Character of Men of Quality that they seem to have fallen below their Birth and Rank which they hold amongst us when they abandon themselves to the passion of Choler II. Men will suffer and endeavour to excuse in you your play your Expence and your Ambition but they will never pardon your impatience your Choler and Quarrelling there is something in them so unbecoming that they will pardon no Person in this particular III. If you punish those that do not deserve it or punish according to the motions of a brutish Choler men have reason to regard you as one that violates the Laws under the protection of which Innocence and Youth ought to live in peace and quietness IV. Which in your Opinion is the more culpable A young Man to whom Age has not given the discretion to live exactly as he ought or his Father or Governour or Master who for that Reason uses him ill because he hath not yet obtain'd all the Reason and Experience that a Man of riper Years has Whether of them is more to blame a young Man that wants Discretion at Fifteen or a Father and Governour that has it not at Forty V. Correction I must confess is the Wine of Wisdom but you ought to give it your Children moderately the excess of it would take away the relish of it would disgust and make them drunk VI. All Correction given in anger takes away the Virtue and destroys the effects of it hold it for certain that Correction is a meat that must be season'd to make it wholsom and good otherwise it cannot be digested VII If you give Correction with Rigour it is as if you put precious Liquor in a poison'd Vessel Correction the most just and the best grounded loses its effect in your Mouth if you do it in terms full of animosity and with a Countenance and Eyes full of Rage and Choler VIII A Master that always grumbles and rails against his Domesticks does not well become his place he carries the Power the Laws have given too far If justice should be done upon such Masters who neither have Indulgence nor Mercy for their Domesticks they would be put into the number of Slaves IX It is so seldom seen that a Man of Quality and Probity puts himself in Choler that it will make Men believe that you have neither the one nor the other if you fall into that Passion You ought never to go out of your Character and nothing in the judgment of all Men will make you leave your Character with more disdain than senseless Quarrels that the transports of Choler will bring you into X. Sudden and rash Quarrels are Childish or Brutal such as are not easily excus'd in common Souldiers and Pages they will never be pardon'd in you how young soever you be XI Your Servant commits a Fault in your presence by neglect not thinking on it he does ill I do not pretend to excuse him but should that make you commit a greater On the contrary you ought to repair by your prudence what this careless Servant has done amiss by his folly Learn therefore to be a Philosopher and keep your self unmoveable on such occasions and shew by this evenness of temper that such accidents cannot produce any change in your Mind XII Though you may have Birth Wit and Riches you will never be esteemed if you do not add to these good Qualities that of an even temper and a moderation in all your Words and Actions XIII Do not contradict such as are prompt to quarrel and do not take pleasure in provoking them and they will have the same regard for you let this Stream have its Course which you see runs at your