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ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A31050	The monk unvail'd: or, A facetious dialogue, discovering the several intrigues, and subtil practises, together with the lewd and scandalous lives of monks, fryers, and other pretended religious votaries of the Church of Rome. Written by an eminent Papist in French. Faithfully translated by C.V. Gent.	Barrin, Jean, ca. 1640-1718.; C. V.	1678 (1678)	Wing B920A; ESTC R213529	50,045	154

Place a lovely curious Hermitage And have they not the exact meen of Hermites with their Beards at all times shaved off Who hath ever seen Hermits frolick with Ladies in the Church Who hath seen Anchorites make presents of Romish and Granoble Gloves to Ladies and to give them stately Collations To load them with sweet-meats and to cause them excessively to eat what-ever is most exquisite and rare in the Shops of the Fair of St. Germans Have Hermits been ever seen playing the Fool with Pistols smoaking and carousing in Ale-houses as they do in their little by-places Who ever saw Anchorites lay wagers with young-women and for a last insolency to show and offer them Purses full of Gold Thus Madam do they imploy their Mass-Money which they impose upon people for Penance thus is lavished and squandred away your Money of your Stock that of Foundations of Sermons and of the Friery and yet these very persons have had the power to prevail with you to leave off your Girdle of St. Austin which Elias St. John Baptist nay the Virgin her self have not disdained to wear Yes Madam you have left that ancient Girdle to take up a wretched Cord which hath neither virtue nor recommendation which is the off-cast of some scabby-sheep and whose first miracle proved the procuring of a sickness to your self The Father speaking these things with an extream vehemency made the good Lady to be mightily troubled at it and she told him that in truth she had drawn some ill omen from the discourse the Minime had made her who had given her the Habit and the Cord having so extreamly pressed her to make a Foundation and to chuse her Sepulchre in their Church and that she was angry with Mrs. Isabel for having been the occasion of her being of that Fraternity and that she would be glad if she could tell how handsomly to shake off that Habit and Cord in case she knew what to do with them Madam replies the Augustine as for the Habit you may give it to some poor Woman and as for the Cord I will make with it a Whip to drive out the Dogs which come to our Church F. Ah! he was in insolent Rascal for his pains to profane in such a manner a Cord which goes beyond Blew ones P. 'T was done as it was said there was an Alms made of the Habit the Lady re-invested her self with the Leather-Girdle and the Augustine carried away the Cord with five knots to imploy in the whipping of Dogs F. Alas poor Cord thou art mightily disgraced But did not the Prelates come to make their Complaints P. The Porter had orders to deny them admission and to acquaint them that they had no business there So they having had notice by Mrs. Isabel of this strange alteration they did not appear and resolved in a full Chapter not to give the Cord any more to old women neither for the time to come to gird any with it but young persons F. As indeed they very punctually do P. Hereupon I had notice that my Uncle was dying which caused me with speed to depart to prevail upon his good nature and tenderness to settle me in his Benefice so that I left my old Gentleman and his Lady in the hands of those people F. That is to say in Hugsters hands But had they no kindred no friend to inlighten their eyes that so they might see the claws of those Harpies for the future P. The Gentleman had for his friend and gossip an honest Citizen one Marguillier of St. Eustace who did abhor the seeing those innocent people so miserably insnared in those Impostors Nets But he durst not openly declare for fear the Monks should play him some slippery trick If I was not afraid said he to me of bringing those Wasps upon my self I would freely declare my thoughts to those people and would easily pluck them out of the hands of those Rake-hells but in case they should discover that 't was I who had dis-abused them they would make me to be look'd upon in my Neighborhood for a vile wretch and for a man that had no Religion F. He had reason to fear it for when Monks do take a pick against any one they go crying them down every-where blackning and bespattering them in their Conversations Confessions and in the Pulpit P. Is it not very sad proceeded he that the Garden of the Church which hath been planted by the Son of God watered by his blood and by that of his Apostles and his Martyrs should be gnawed and eaten up by those cursed and base Caterpillars That the Popes Kings Bishops and Parliaments not being ignorant of their excess do not suppress them and bring these disorderly and masterless persons to the observing of their Rules I have admired a Thousand times how it comes to be suffered in a well-governed State that Sixty thousand idle fellows who have only the name and Habit of Monks do live fat and in good plight at the charge of the people without having their crimes punished not acknowledging either Seccular or Ecclesiastical Justice and not to be subject to any for chastisement but only to go up and down from one Convent to another F. The Church will never be able to attribute to it self the Elogium which is given her of being without Spot as long as she shall have such Monks which may justly be termed the shame of the Christian world the scandal of Religion and the dishonour and infamy of the Church That it is very fit their excesses and debauches should be known that they ought not to be Confessors till after the age of threescore years because those Villains make use of the Tribunals of Penance to discover Womens and Maids dispositions That there they put to them beastly and unchast Interrogatories that they sollicite them and induce them to sin so that Confession is not made to the salvation but the destruction of their Souls And that if amongst the good Pastors and true Directors Confessing is the Pool of proof where after that the Angel had troubled the Waters all kind of diseases were cured now with most of the Monks 't is a stinking Lake where Souls are Poysoned and where those Devils fish in troubled Waters That it is now a seat of wickedness and that the Son of God receives more affronts and injuries at that Tribunal than he received at Caiaphas's Pilate's Herod's hands That those Vagabonds ought to be Cloystered up to prevent their running abroad because two steps can scarce be taken in the Streets without meeting one Monk or other That such Women who spend their time in prating with them at the doors of their Convents or in their Churches ought to be declared infamous that those wretched persons who give up themselves wholly to them ought to be cut off and those Rascals to be severely chastised when they are found in a Bawdy-house that they ought not to be permitted to appear in processions being a scandal to the World with their Noses full of Rubies by their drunkenness and other debauches That they ought to be shut out of peoples doors by reason that those Seducers enter only to sow divisions in Families to corrupt Wives Daughters and Servant-Maids I say moreover that as long as we have Monks such as they are at present the Hugenots will have cause to laugh and to jear us that they ought to think themselves happy for being free from that Vermine that the Hood is a nest of Hypocrisie that 't is the mouth of Hell the Box of Pandora and mark of Reprobation That the being called to a Monastical state is one of the most dangerous temptations which the Devil can give a young man up to that 't is the broad-road way to destruction so far is it from being a state of acquired perfection as those Rascals affirm Whosoever speaks of a Monk speaks of a Seducer of the people a corrupter of the Feminine Sex an Artist of Impostures a disguised forger of Miracles a Sales-man of Mysteries a Trader of Indulgences a Retailer of Masses a profaner of Altars an applauder of Reliques an abuser of Chappels a jingler of Meddals a proclamer of Holy-days a contriver of Fraternities an idolater of Images a toll-taker of dead Bodies a scummer of Churches and a horse-leach of the Crucifix That a Monk is a Bird of ill omen a Spy a Surpriser a Rakeshame a man in Masquerade a Devil Incarnate an emissary of Hell a man without Faith and without Law a canker in Common-wealths a plague in Houses an enemy to God and men That the Frock is a Sack of Iniquity and that it is a glorious and meritorious action to throw it off not amongst Nettles but even in a Jaques amongst c. P. You have done well to throw off yours and to have Secularised your self But we have now discoursed sufficiently concerning Monks Let 's go and eat a bit for a repast Adieu FINIS Some Books Printed for and sold by Jonathan Edwin at the Three Roses in Ludgate-street ROman-Forgeries or a true account of false Records discovering the Impostures and Counterfeit Antiquities of the Church of Rome in Octavo The True Liberty and Dominion of Conscience Vindicated from the Vsurpations and Abuses of Opinion and Persuasion in 8vo The Countermine or a short but true discovery of the dangerous Principles and secret Practices of the dissenting party especially the Presbyterians shewing that Religion is pretended but Rebellion is intended And in order thereto the Foundation of Monarchy in the State and Episcopacy in the Church are undermined

THE MONK VNVAIL'D Or A Facetious Dialogue Discovering the several Intrigues and subtil Practises together with the lewd and scandalous Lives of Monks Fryers and other pretended Religious Votaries of the Church of ROME Written by an Eminent PAPIST in French Faithfully TRANSLATED by C. V. Gent. LONDON Printed for Jonathan Edwin at the Three Roses in Ludgate-street 1678. TO THE READER IF Monks are such as they would seem to be they would make of this Book a Meritorious Subject For in case what it contains be untrue as they will not fail to say they ought to rejoyce by having occasion to suffer the being ill-spoken of and calumniated and to exercise that Patience which they Preach unto us with so fair a zeal But in case it contains truth as indeed it doth they will receive this small mortification with the same Humility and Resignation which they have so often in their mouths But as they are nothing less than what they seem to be they will also act quite contrary to what ought to be expected from them At the very moment then of this Dialogues appearing you will see them running up and down on all sides to learn who is its Author They will say that this Book is full of Falsities Impostures Impieties and Insolences that the Author is an Atheist a Libertine a wicked man a Heretick an Excomunicated person This being their manner of speech What is to be done in this case As for my part I declare and take God to witness that I am a Roman Cat●olick that I honour with a deep respect the Religious Orders if there be any that have maintained themselves according to the holiness of their Institution and of their Rule which I wish with all my soul to see them in the way which the Holy Patriarchs have traced out to them whereof they have kept the Habit and the Name And it is with great trouble that I see the misrule and disorders which are slipped in amongst them which I do not write for any hatred but to make appear to them their Artifices are common that they now abuse Fools and silly Women and that by the grace of God there are found out persons who know Wolves under Sheeps-cloathing Peradventure some scrupulous person or other will find fault that I cause to let slip from this secularized Monk some words a little free but besides that it happens not often from a man coming out of a Cloyster The Reader may take notice if he please that I imitate the Limner who drawing a Picture aims naturally to represent and who would offend the Rules of his Art and of true resemblance if he caused us to behold a Hector in a serious countenance I question not the Monks finding many faults in this little Book neither am I so vain to believe the same exempt from any Nay I allow that therein they may justly discover an infinite number yet let them reckon for defaults the omission of an infinite of Stories and Intrigues which they know are wanting in it The MONK turned Secular Or a Dialogue between Florimond a Country-Curate and Patrick a Secularized Monk Florimond GOD be praised dear Patrick you are now become one of us I did never imbrace you with so much joy and constancy as I do at this time Patrick Neither so closely for this habit bulks not out so much as the other did Flor. In truth it becomes you mighty well O God how glad am I to behold you with your Hood off Patr. You will now trust me for the reason why you did not so before was because that men looking through Grates ought not to be trusted Flor. It was for that reason that I told you that I never did imbrace you with so much confidence Patr. Blessed be God that hereafter some trust may be reposed in me for it is a common saying That a Womans forepart ought to be mistrusted a Mules hinder part but a Monk all over Flor. Let us sit down we shall be more at our ease it must be owned that that sort of people are very much cried out against Patr. Nay rather say that they are in good repute and well dealt with in being suffered to live for if they were known for what they are and that all their wickednesses all their sherking tricks which they act within and without their Cloysters were made publick that cursed brood would be buried under the very ruins of their Convents Flor. You say too much Patr. I do not declare the hundred thousand part of what is real neither of what they deserve Flor. Therefore do I not repent for not having made my self a Monk For I will tell you freely that even since I have been possest of my Benefice I had a design to have betaken my self to some Religious Fellow-ship to pass the remainder of my days in tranquillity and devotion Patr. The Lord bless you Fl. I did propose to my self things to be found amongst them which are not to be found amongst Country-people as the conversing with learned men frequent examples of vertue which keeps a man from falling into that luke-warmness that languishing of spirit which befalls Country Ecclesiastical persons by being alone In short the union which is within Religious Houses is a great help Patr. What union in Religious Houses have you not read what Ariosto says in his fourteenth Canto that discord was found by St. Michael within a Monastery What a good man are you for having had such thoughts I am vext that a person of wit and reason like your self should be able to fall into that Errour is it possible that you have believed that Union Tranquillity and Devotion was to be found within a Cloyster together with examples of vertue Flor. Such were my Conceptions Patr. Alas poor man where were your thoughts I would have you to know that a Monk's Cloyster is a foul Coyl a refuge for Drones that it is the receptacle for all Vices a sink of noisom filthiness and of all imaginable Villanies Flor. Ha ha Patr. 'T is the School of Impudence Hypocrisie Impostors Knavery Infidelity Impiety nay of Atheism it self Flor. What say you Patr. It is a gulph of all manner of Prophanations Sacriledges and of all the abominations which are possible to be committed Flor. Fie say not so Patr. I speak truth Flor. I did indeed believe that Religious persons had not preserved themselves according to their first Institution that they had lost very much of that purity and fervour which did at first animate them that they were jealous the one of the other and very much byassed that they did sometimes give occasion of scandal and that they often were the occasion of evil talk But I should never have believed that they were so horribly wicked Patr. What not so horribly wicked He that would go about to describe the insolency leudness and debaucheries of those lost and abandoned persons their turnings and windings their goings abroad and returns

those Chappels so much waxified P. Are they not very pleasant to have Indulgences almost for all the days of the year I should counsel them to suffer their writings to remain always posted at their Churches door like a Signe or a Tavern-Bush Read their Books of Brotherhood you will see for Sunday 18000 years Indulgence and as many Quarantaines for Munday full Indulgence Tuesday 10000 years Indulgence Wednesday the same as well as Thursday and Friday for Saturday full Indulgence Sunday 48000 years Munday 10000 c. But I believe these Indulgences are nothing but the written Tables surrounded with leaves without fruit as well as their Chappels are nothing else but miracles of Wax and are laden only with the workmanship of their Impostors F. I know not what to say thereof you ought to know it better than I if that be true they are great abuses But you say nothing of the Sermons they preach at home and elsewhere you cannot disallow that the Religious Fellowships are the Nurseries of Preachers who disperse themselves throughout out the whole Christian World that it is from thence that Labourers are drawn out to be sent into the Lords Harvest that they are the Trumpets of the Gospel animated by the Preachings of the Holy Ghost which beat down the Bulwarks of sin even as the Israelites Trumpets did beat down the walls of the City of Jericho P. It is a pretty Elogium which you give them if they were sensible of this you should have Letters adopting you Son and you should be made partaker of all Masses Oblations Sacrifices Orisons Conserts Lessons Prayers Meditations Blessings Feasts Watchings Abstinences Mortifications Austerities Macerations Penitences Pilgrimages Hairy shirts Disciplines and other pious works which are either acted or not acted by them F. Let us forbear jesting and agree that I have said nothing concerning their Preachers which is not very true P. Yea especially when you have called them Trumpets for that sort of People no more than such Instruments never sound unless they are full of wind but it is not the same which blew in the Assembly when the Holy Ghost came down on the Apostles Is it possible that the noise they make hath so much stunned you that you have not been able to perceive what moves their bawlings that you have not been able to see it is interest and vanity which raise these Preachings to make use of the terms of Ecclesiasticus that those two motives make up the stairs and steps which conduct them to the Pulpit that they only mount that eminent place to be seen that their tongue stirs to no other end than to be the occasion of the stirring of their Jaws in short that they only belabour with their hands to have them fill'd F. You are a dangerous man P. For I would have you know that as there is nothing which so much raiseth the Religious Fraternities and particularly Religious persons as doth the imployment of Preaching so they study and apply themselves for the most part thereto but in such a manner as in no wise to be profitable in the Churches as they never do For even as they are formed to live in Love in Hypocrisie and with Confidence which are the three Characters of a Monkish spirit so are they instructed to Preach as they live that is to say to make plausible Discourses and to accompany them with wry faces and to spread themselves forth with impudence Who would not laugh to see these Apes come into the Pulpit with a Stoical Countenance and Gravity who after their having fiercely beheld their Auditors they pull and draw themselves up together biting their lips after having methodically put down their Hoods they raise up their eyes to Heaven with an Hypocritical Countenance who after their having made a great sign of the Cross they hold forth and expound with a premeditated Tone which I can hardly call Gods word But who would not be in wrath to behold their several changes and disguises when by their prating they choak that holy Word who would not murmer to see how they cause that daughter of Heaven to appear that Messengeress of God in the Pulpit as if she were upon a Theater a Curtesan and Strumpet or like unto a Comedianess who would not tremble through spite to see them mask up that holy Minerva come forth of the brains of Jupiter What do I say mask her for they curle her up and paint her like unto a wanton Venus F. You mount the great horse and are going to preach unless you look to it P. I cannot contain when I think upon those abuses Is it not a ridiculous thing to behold a begging Monk who ought to preach the Fundamental Truths of our Religion Salvation Curling his Corde in accent and gesture aiming at a Parisian air acting the art of begging and playing the Hypocrite all at once But that which makes me yet the more inveterate is that their affected impertinence meets with approbation from the people and that the word of God cannot be tasted unless it be perfumed adorned with all the flowers of Rhetorick and the Academical Graces What fruit think you then can proceed from persons who aim at nothing but to please Who care not for gaining Souls but Ears who in preaching endeavour not to perswade people any thing save that they preach well If they are labourers as you have alledged are they not labourers in iniquity If they are Trees drawn out of the Nurseries of Cloysters are not they such which bring forth naughty fruit and which our Saviour condemns to be rooted up If they are Trumpets seeing you call them so are they not of that naughty brass to which St. Paul compares himself 1 Cor. 13. 1. and to which may justly be compared all such whose Sermons are void of charity yea even although in Eloquence they went beyond the very Angels F. Well let that pass but what have you to say concerning their Vespers the exposing and blessing of the holy Sacrament which you seemingly tax P. God forbid but when I see the holy Sacrament exposed at the upper-end of their Tabernacles I should think that God is there as heretofore he was on Mount Calvary F. That is a good thought P. I mean that he is there between two Thieves F. You are wicked P. And in the Blessing which they do give I mark this that even as when we would have some body to remember something it is the last thing you charge him withal and that you recommended to him so also these devout Fathers as they bless and take leave of the people make to them the sign of the Cross by that sign signifying to them not to forget them at their return F. You are a pleasant Interpreter P. Why do you imagine that their Bells tingle so much and so often it is only to allure the devout femal sex under the pious pretence of Vespers which being ended you may behold some

Popes had granted to such who would be interr'd with the Habit of their Order or should make choice of their Church for a burying place F. Dear God! What did this good old Lady think P. He proceeded afterwards gravely and with great Ceremony to bless the Habit and Cord which being done the Lady undressed her self with the help of the Taylor and Mrs. Isabel who was assistant there and then opens her Arms to take that Habit smoaking hot with the Blessings which that Father had just then bestowed on them but this Minime perceiving the Leather Girdle which she had on her Rains begun to say bending his brows What do you wear there Madam It is says she St. Austins Girdle O mercy you must leave it off in case you will feel the effects of this holy Habit and sacred Cord 'T is not that I am against this devotion but as the mixture of two Drugs hinders the effect of either even so this Girdle and this Cord might hinder one anothers virtue Then I heard him turning himself to Mrs. Isabel whisper her in her ear to make her leave of that nasty Arse-piece F. Rascals how they buffet one another P. Then returning to his Discourse he said first that the Cord did in it self eminently contain the Girdles virtue and that in this occasion her Ladyship was to practise the words of Isaiah who had said Erit pro Zona funiculus That the Rope should be in the room of the Girdle This poor Woman hearing Isaiah named did effectually believe that that Prophet had spoken of that Cord and Girdle so that fearing to offend by her refusal not only this Fryer but also Isaiah she left off the Leather Girdle to put on the Cord. F. Ha ha ha Where was the Augustine P. Let him alone he will appear by and by This Ceremony being ended they went to Dinner where this Father and his Companion were treated with most dilicate marrionated Fish The Lady to profess her devotion for her new Order would only eat that which had been made ready for those Religious persons After Dinner Father Minime having taken his leave with all the Complements belonging to Monks civility it happens that the Lady having eaten of that marrionated Fish found her self very ill and was taken with a great pain in her Stomach with an extream Vomiting this caused her to go to Bed The other Monks who had their Intelligencers in the House having had notice thereof were immediately at her Bed-side and read such a Lecture to her that I cannot tell how to express F. Let us hear it as well as you can P. The Jacobin who came first not seeming presently angry to find the old Lady ensnared in the Minime 's Cord told her That he was very much satisfied to see her zeal for the Frieries yet he could not approve of her being of them all it being impossible by that multiplicity to be able well to acquit ones self of each of 'em in particular That of all the Frieries which were in the Church those which did most keep us to the service of the Mother of God were doubtless the most excellent But of all the devotions which piety had invented for to honour that Virgin without all peradventure that of the holy Rosary was most agreeable to her the most perfect most meritorious and the most rich It was the most agreeable in as much as the Rosary is a shortned Table where may almost be seen represented all the Mysteries of our Religion for those fifteen misteries which it contains are as it were fair Images where are perfectly beheld the Father Almighty's designs in the temporal birth of his Son the accidents which happened to him during his childhood in his hidden and unknown life in his suffering and laborious life in his glorious and immortal life and in the same are also represented to us the chief virtues which Mary made conspicuous during the term of her temporal life F. That Discourse did enlarge it self in abundance of matters P. More meritorious for the practice of that devotion doth oblige us to exercise the chief and most meritorious Christian vertues of Faith Hope and Charity For the repeating the Holy Rosary with the attention and devotion due to it the acts of a lively Faith are uncessantly renewed by the Mysteries meditated upon the acts of a perfect hope are reiterated towards him who is our summum bonum chief good whose greatness and power we then consider You are launched without intermission into acts of a fervent charity by the sentiments of Complacency Joy Love Honours Respect and Thanksgiving towards him who is infinitely lovely and adorable and whose love and goodness we do contemplate F. What bablings are here he sufficiently smooth'd her up P. More Rich by reason of a great number of Priviledges and Indulgences which the most holy Father hath granted to such who would be received into that holy Friery and would recite the Holy Rosary Priviledges and Indulgences which are in greatness richness without example truly such as will consider with attention all the favours which the Popes have granted to several Congregations and Religious Companies he will find that what is spread abroad and parted between a great many is found all together in the Company of the Holy Rosary neither is there almost any Indulgence granted in favour of any work of piety and devotion which is not also granted to those who shall repeat the Rosary F. Hey day This Brother Frier then preached a long-winded Sermon to the good old Lady In the hearing of so many brave sayings who could imagine those people to be guilty of so many horrid impieties That they tempt Women to sin yea even in the very time of Confession That they make of their Churches places of Assignation That they go into Bawdy-Houses and are very much Pox'd there P. Give me leave to make an end So he proceeding said It seems as if the Popes had heaped together all the treasure of the Church casting them into the Furnace and so to make a Coyn in favour of the Rosary of an inestimable price and value and in this case may be truly said what is set down in the Book of Wisdom That many Damsels have gathered together vast riches but that you go beyond them all F. This Dominican had very much reason to quote that place of Scripture and to compare Frieries to such Lasses as had got together great store of Riches for Frieries are your daughters of Religious Orders which do enrich their Fathers 'T is this way that Monks get Money out of the People But what did that Magpie say farther for he seemed to make a mighty chattering noise P. He also alledged that Vrbanus 8th had granted a Bull whereby the Banner of the Brotherhood of the Rosary did preceed all other Banners excepting that of the Holy Sacrament F. But did he say nothing against the Habit and Cord which their