then my Skill dares attempt the explaining After this you say Socinian Books sell as openly as the Bible Since you an so well versed amongst the Booksellers Pray what 's the price of an Answer that contains only a Question What ne'r a word What time of day is it Nor that neither Why you have not forsworn ever making an Answer to any thing again have you Thou art just like the fellow that when he had told the Senate he saw Iulia ascend to Heaven Et pro tam bono Nuntio nemo illi credidisset swore he would never tell any body again for his part if he saw a man kill'd in the open Market place However that honest Gentlemen may not be at a loss they may please to know that I never looked after the Rehearsal Transpros'd till I heard it was come to 18 d. again I find it very dear but if they please to stay a while I suppose they may have it â—'r long for 2 d. or 3 d. or a Groat at most The next Flower we come to is the Termination Ism Whereupon you take occasion as cunningly as you can under pretence of Riming to it first to shew the Church of England is guilty of Schism and secondly that those who separate from Her are not You need not have troubled your self about the former if your Design be onely Toleration and the latter For the reasons you bring for this stand upon their own Bases and borrow not their Strength from Her Example of having first separated from Rome But Trans I smell thee as rank as a Fox otherwise I could have spared taking notice of the Church of Rome The Pope is a Worthy Prince and lives in Italy and long may He live and injoy his health at Castle Gundolpho before ever I 'le begin to disturb him first But if Cardinal Chigi covets Bansted Mutton and Colchester Oysters and can't be contented with Muscadine and Eggs but must have Mornings Draughts out of our Herefordshire Red-streak and Kentish Pipins in this case I must like Frier Iohn take up Arms for my Vineyard and if I catch him there as sure as his Cap 's made of wool I 'le knock him down with a Hop-pole Therefore pray hence forward let alone my Mistress for if you come to fooling with Her I must hedge my Bet and be revenged if I can upon your Wife But to your Arguments and first to the latter Your Author Mr. Hales divides his Discourse of Schism you say into two main Branches The Cause of it and the Occasion of it The Occasion he again subdivides but upon the whole upon this Head he asks Who shall be Iudge Now say we Let that question be asked not onely of who gives the occasion of Schism but of who gives the Cause also or if you please of whether it be a Cause or no. You will perhaps find no body but the Magistrate is proper Judge of either Now to do you a Courtesie Trans if you think this very same answer be not a sufficient reason to warrant our Separation from Rome also Reserving still like you that I know what I know at this time for shortness sake I will trouble you with no other And if you had thought good I might have had your mind in as short a compass as I have told you mine And so you have indeed in less then seven leaves proved as you say that Schism rimes to Ism and just nothing else Now for having undergone this grateful Penance He means done the meritorious Act of transcribing these Citations He exults and Cackles like any Hen that were just come off her Nest after laying in so affected a Style and nonsensical Phrase as Masculine Truth and Falshood deformed by Ornaments that his Commendations of Mr. Hales prove more simple then his Rayling at Bayes and the whole Speech worse if worse can be then that about Additional Civility and when he has done for fear no body should think he could be such a fool expresly tells us He was Serious Here follows a fond Expression which it is easie to apprehend the Prefacer used as repeating words of the Persons whom he answered Yet Trans could not make less then a whole side of it but I shall Next Welcom poor Macedo What the Ioke of that is I don't know Next he undertakes the Patronage of I. O. whose Quarrel but a few leaves since he said He Interested himself no more in then if He were John a Nokes and rayled at by John a Stiles The meaning was it seems He cares not for him as of any Religion but for him or any body else that will but oppose the Church of England Now will I nick thee here Trans worse then any where in all my Book For thy business is onely to Foment our unhappy Differences and I won't speak one word neither against I. O. nor to that Controversie How simply do you next sneer at such things for Flowers as are printed in Books in distinct Characters Is not your own Book full of them A man is put to a hard shift for a conceit if for having it He must Jeer himself Then you pursue for you alwaies run on upon any scent and bring in telling us the advantages Booksellers may set out Books withall as fine paper large fair Letter Calves Leather Covers c. Though this as it happens is the onely useful thing your Book teaches being very necessary Information for us young Authors and so truly I thank you Lovingly and I 'le take a Copy of this But the word he now finds thus marked in the Preface is Categoricalness Ism it seems is lost but there 's another Rattle for the Child like Sheerness Dongioness Innerness and Cathness So he falls a Playing with Ness. Now for all your witty Conceit this does but come from the Nesses Tudes and Ty's of Malmsbury Odi Imitatores which have this difference That they were first His own secondly New thirdly Brief But your's are another Nation of Tartarians as you may see in my Cutter of Colemanstreet Transpros'd Pag. the 84th just at this place But in pursuance Bayes having translated Peace Gal. 5 c. into Peaceableness c. He asks which of the Systematical German Geneva Orthodox Divines Do you understand him beloved you that are his Brethren You see he distinguishes you all from the Orthodox nay of the Sober here I 'm sure he held his Handkerchief before his face to hide his laughing Intelligent Episcopal Divines could not how simple soever you are all have taught him better then such Forgery or Ignorance as this The reason is plain for we shall but be laid by the heels if we don't keep the Peace but to require Peaceableness of us is to exact our being really good and worthy men and that 's worse then a Penal Law Here he takes an occasion from the Day of Iudgment 's having been mentioned betwixt I. O. and the Prefacer in which was no occasion
S'too him Bayes Or Some OBSERVATIONS Upon the HUMOUR of Writing Rehearsal's Transpros'd Hanc Veniam petimusque damusque vicissim OXON Printed in the Year 1673. ADVERTISEMENT The Reader will take notice that it is the Second Impression of the Rehearsal Transpros'd to which these Animadversions are directed â— for not being much curious of such things it was but lately that I happened upon the Book SOME OBSERVATIONS Upon the Humor of Writing Rehearsal's Transpros'd TO begin with your Title The Rehearsall Transpros'd It Intimates the Author has imitated the Rehearsal for which you think good to make a Play of the Author It rests therefore to be examined whether He be Bayes in a Preface or you the fool in the Play I come to the bottom of your Title Page At the sign of the Kings Indulgence on the South-side of the Lake of Lemane and sold In Chancery Lane Amongst the Lawers will it sell best there Why you don't think the Lincolns-Inn and Temple-wits will take the Rehearsal Transpros'd for a Case of Alienation or Observations upon a Preface for A Book of Reports Upon my word they don't like your Iesting with Playes so near them Somebody may Transprose Ignoramus shortly at this Rate too and then who knows where the Stone may light at last As for the Lake of Lemane I 'le suppose it a Standing water and so may Tarry till I come to it again by and by Then I shall exanine its Situation and see if there be a North or a South or a Blind side belonging to it But At the sign of the Kings Indulgence 'T is true He hath given you one but I don't think He looks upon it for civilly or indeed craftily done of you to be at every turn Quoting Him on this fashion for it upon Needless or Buffoon occasions You know in Scripture such and such things were permitted the Iews for the Hardness of their Hearts Should they now ever and anon have been Rallying Moses for his Condescentions had they not as good have told him in Plain Hebrew that the Hardness of their Hearts had been too Hard for Him But to the business Your book begins for a lucky hit with a Dilemma you say you have caught the Author in of his own making For if he will not accept his own Charge his modesty say you is all impudent Call you this Catching him in a Dilemma Pray whatâ—s the meaning of Impudent Modesty Is your Design to Convince or to Pose us We are Modest people and shall remember Alonzo Tiveria as well as we can but we would not be put altogether to submit to your Arguments by believing in your words We cannot always as you desire expound a Pillar or Explicate a Post besides one would think you had been told often enough of Particular Universal Round Quadrangle that a man ought not to talk like a Ninny-hammer but when it were evidently Courteous and Gent or Tuant or Great But if this be still a Dilemma thou art the unluckyest Disputant in the world for thou pretendest to argue for General Liberty and concludest for nothing but meer Lutheranism for Impudent Modesty is the very Doctrine of Consubstantiation Yet happy happy thou since thou must needs Transprose hast had the fortune to light upon the Rehearsal for since people will be so idle as at first dash you see to ask what signify's Impudent Modesty Thou may'st there find an Answer which no Schoolman but Bayes ever light upon and may'st tell them Nay pray Sirs have a little patience Godsookers you 'l spoil all my Transprosal Why 't is impossible to answer every impertinent Question you ask But for all this I know his Majesty does not intend his Toleration shall extend to Nonconformity in Sense also and therefore for this time I will tie you to that Ceremony of the Church of England as to Speak it But to proceed you hoped ay and I dare say would have lost your ten pound wager on the Condition that He nor nobody else would have written any more in behalf of the King of Englands Rights for all your being sure you had the Keys of Transprosing but he hath that there are Grounds for Fears jealousies of Popery And pray are there not Since the Popish Interest as your self make anon appear is founded chiefly upon Keeping the people in Ignorance and some of the wisest of them are so Ignorant already as to talk of Impudent Modesty yet if such kind of Terms seem necessary for the Ends you use them then Oh too frail Reason that contradicts Transprosal But let 's see what is the mischief the Author is going to do To trick up Bishop Bramhal in a yellow Coif and a Bulls Head What sense the Author can be said to trick him up in a Bull 's Head in I confess I do not understand But your Conceits are all so easie and familiar that I am confident you mean something by it You fall next upon the unfortunate Invention that Printing has proved to be That Villanous Engine the Press and Reformation being invented much about the same time Pre'thee leave fooling and tell us what thou art Ieer the whole Reformation All that are not Romanists I have heard there was a certain Counsellor that when he had pleaded a long while the Iudge asked him who he was for Plaintif or Defendent But thou makest Our Case worse Thou abusest thy Clients At this rate we must wish you would write express in defense of Popery for the credit of the Protestant Religion But you say 'T was happy when all Learning was in Manuscript some little Officer like the Author kept the Keys of the Library I doubt you 'l find him a great Officer by and by and the Door of his Preface so well kept that it will be past your Skill to pick the Lock And there was a time another happy time when the Clergy needed no more Knowledge then to read the Liturgy The Wound was great because it was but small Th'adst been a Bishop needed none at all Nor the Laity more Clerkship then to then to save them from Hanging 'T is Sung you might let point of Clerkship alone having been your self sometime beholding to it But no more of that You say next the Mischief of Printing is that now if a man write a Book presently he is answered Here you must give us leave to distinguish betwixt Transprosing and Answering 'T is plain some Persons are presently Transprosed but we can't perceive that any of the Principal things they say are Answered Next you fall upon B. and L. and call them Publick Tooth-Drawers no doubt you mean Printing's Tooth-Drawers For Publick Tooth-Drawers signifies no more then Tooth-Drawer and were Tautology like Publick Shooe-maker or Publick Cobler now you do not mean they are literally Tooth-Drawers for that would spoile the Sense of your Allegory wherefore you have mistaken your self and these things when B. and L. meet with They expunge
to do thus to talk himself very lightly of it Ironically cites Proofs of it out of what he calls the Fanatical Book of Martyrs and the Scotch History This Discourse takes up two leaves in him but I shall prosecute it no further Then he comes to Point of Honour and treats nicely taking no notice whom he imitates of the Lu More Quotations out of the Rehearsal They fly they fly Who first did give the lie Truly you are mistaken thy are onely gone to dinner Next we come to Symbolicalness which you tax the Author for having describ'd in several extravagant fashions I know not with what Fidelitie you have either collected or do present them to us I confess I am no Approver of swelling nor harsh expressions But whereas you say this Symbolicalness is a flower nay a flower of the Sun made at the Cock or Nags-head I say 't is pity neither of those houses had the Sun for their Sign that you might have been i' th' right But having not I can see little but that if it be a flower of the Sun it is the strangest of the kind that ever the Sun saw for it grows upon a mere imaginary or no ground at all But Mr. Bayes or Mr. Thunder or Mr. Cartwright why Mr. Trans or Mr. Toleration or Mr. Guy Faux he is not ashamed to be call'd Player by him that calls Preaching Playing his part and if you call him as many Names as Philippus Aureolus Theophrastus Paracelsus Bombast of Hohenheim he will be still ready to make an answer to Satan Lucifer Belzebub Leviathan Abaddon Well we have now seen the last flower and so here 's an end of the Garden I think wee 'l suppose it at least De bene esse The next thing thou tellest us is that thou hast laboured and moil'd like any poor Philistin in binding up this Sampson with his own words as fast you say as such a Proteus could be pinion'd It seems then you begin to perceive he 's loose again already He is so but the reason you Goose is not because he is Proteus but because your Cords were slight ones and the Knots slipt You should have cut off his Beard and have made a Simarr of it and then you had had him sure Well but Trans fain would do something though and let Bayes make more or less of it if he can Why you have been defying him all this while have you not Are you resolv'd now you can fend no longer nor prove no longer nor bind no longer to threaten him still as you are running away and part like Borgio Backward on Goltho many a look he cast And through his eyes his sparkling anger flam'd 'T is true no man can hinder you from knowing what you know and talking to your self however Well Your business Abel Princes have always found the Government over Conscience unsafe and unpracticable Oh are you come Their Right to such a Government stands firm then after all Then Trans as for the unsafeness of it if uncontroulable libertie prove safe All 's well But as for its unpracticableness I beg your pardon for that Would His Majesty would please to command me any harder matter if I did not do it I 'de nere answer Transprosal more This next leaf belongs to Ursula Mol Gifford and the Father of Lies let them ee'n agree together about sharing it amongst them The Miscellany ends in your saving Bayes's design was so much too hard for a man that it would have giddied any Goose. I never heard so much said for the Câ—â—dit of Geese before Are Geese brains so much better settled then then ours Let me ask you one question more if you please for this seems to hint something above common observation Do you every time you find a knotty place that is more difficult then ordinary in Bayes's Preface repair to some Goose or other to help you answer it It was proper and natural I confess to associate with Geese when you were at the Lake of Lemane and I suspected nothing then because of the place And it did not methought look so much like advising or consulting but onely like padling in a Dish of Tea or over a Cup of Coffee together But is it not rather to prepare an excuse for your self against you have occasion that you make this Comparison by which you may make a Grand Thesis for your self too to wit That a Goose is the ablest man From whence you may deduce Corollaries at pleasure and if any bodie excepts against what you say prove 't is irrefragable and all perfect Transprosal because no Goose could have done it better Nay then I 'le help you a little but it must be by a Quibble You know I have one with you you owe me Colossian Church So now take one of mine and then haply we may continue to trade on by Bill of Exchange hereafter Why the business is I think You say nothing to the Prefacer worth a rush besides your book has a puzling Title therefore now you have proved a Goose is the wisest and most solid thing I would have you talk no more of a Rehearsal Transpros'd or go to oppose Animadversions to a late Book c. but an Answer Since though she but hiss and we can't understand her Yet still you 'l have gi'n him a Goose for his Gander If this strictly speaking be no Quibble but a Pun now excuse me for you understand these things better then I but I am sure it s no Corollary Now we will pass to the Point you pretend to be most Zealous for you 〈◊〉 pag. 209. That some of the Nonconformists under the name of symbolical Ceremonies dispute the Lawfulness of those which are by our Church injoyned whereby now mark say you They can only intend that these Ceremonies are so applyed as if they were of a Sacramental Nature and Institution and that therefore they are unlawful You add further that the Author's Answerer handling this Place makes use of a Pertinent passage in St. Austin Signa cum ad res divinas pertinent Sacramenta vocantur I don't intend to meddle with any body but your self for I will not make more holes then I mend Possibly the other Nonconformists and we may come to agree kindly together for all this But Trans my Foe is thy self whom you see I shrewdly suspect to care for neither of us So then that which I am going to reply to is your commending that passage in St. Austin as Pertinent to the precedent Matter Take notice you have first said The Nonconformists can onely intend our Ceremonies are so applyed as if they were of a Sacramental nature What you mean by Applyed you explain where you say This is it they complain of that they are imposed upon them with so high a Penalty c. and by your Conclusion But here I say is their main Exception that things Indifferent c. should be made by reason of equal Penalty with
Well this Bayes we are speaking of having fam'd the Bishop for bravery Trans says he should have furnisht him with a Sword like Bishop Odo's which was like an other Irish Clergy-man's which was as like a Nut-Cracker for it Crack'd men clad in Steel as the men that were Crack'd as he tells me that is crack'd were like Nuts It is there describ'd however that the Bishop might not mistake it seems at large in four Wild-Irish I think Verses He might as well have took Ay by His side he wore a long Pavade And of his Sword full trenchant was the Blade Out of Chaucer for they are better but I believe he durst not look in him for fear of meeting with the Plow mans Tale. But let a man behave himself how he will with his Whineard He gets no Commendations of Bayes but upon two Conditions That he dye or be of his Party Which I think is as much as to say that He rejoyces at no bodies success that is against him not will Preach at nobodies Funeral till they be Dead But when he does He will do it for Exploits which He will take out of the Knight of the Sun Why Trans is every thing that is Heroically done applicable to every Body Suppose you were past that which you may chance to come to I mean suppose you were Dead If I should say Living He fought like Mad or Drunk For Dame Religion as for Punck Were this Commending the Author of the Rehearsal Transpros'd It is not it is not They abuse you only and so you ought to understand it whoever dead or alive does but offer to Glance at you with such an Expression But Bayes gives the Bishop such improbable Elogies that He had dyed the death of Secundinus if the swelling of Truth would have choaked him Why Trans art thou mad if the Elogies were not true what hurt would the swelling of Truth have done Bayes but if they were how horribly is all thou hast said swell'd with Lies But I perceive you think it would have been dangerous if you had done otherwise Truth might have choaked you Nay then I 'le never blame your Rayling at them both Defaming the Church and pretending to be only for Toleration for I would have no man Guilty of his own death But passing this what News Why while Bishop Bramhal was doing Feats in Ireland Bishop Usher busied himself in Grubstreet about Modern Orthodoxy I acknowledge this Expression to be nice and smart But I understand it not originally your own What the Bishop busied himself about was Refuting pretty ancient Error So you endeavour by applying it here to abuse at once but the Bishop the World and the Author But is there no more Yes Bayes represents Bishop Bramhal like St. Christopher who though as big as big as ten Porters sweats under the burthen of an Infant Why then he means your Book Which though it every where sufficiently discover the Infant yet the Title above all shews the Child could not so much as speak plain But to be serious Bishop Bramhal you say endeavoured to make a Catholick agreement amongst the Churches of Christendom Why are not you now endeavouring to make every body if you could Nonconformists But it was a most presumptuous thing to think he could perswade and fascinate are these two all one then all you perswade are bewitch'd The Roman Church which by a regular Contexture of Policy hath interwoven itself with the Secular Interest and made it self necessary to most Princes and at last erected a Throne of Infallibility over the Conscience Now I perceive whom I am to speak to Why Mon Pere hath she shew'd any more Policy then other Princes who have lost half what they had But she hath made her self necessary to most Princes You do not mean sure so necessary that they must let Her serve them in spight of their Teeths But she has erected a Throne of Infallibility over the Conscience Do'st thou take this to be the first of April when they say folks send fools of Errands We have searched the Pope's Person for this Infallibility but we find him ever and anon asking Placet or Non placet of his Conclave of Cardinals They both give the way to a General Council Lastly your Writers say It is in the Body of the whole Catholick Church I can liken our Journey to nothing so much as the imployment one finds in a fortune-Fortune-book Where the first Chance sends you to the Philosopher Pythagoras He bids you Go to King Prian and He to King Pipin at last you come to the Oracle and when a man is there He is told perhaps He shall have two Wives or else his Wife miscarry of her first Child But because I would be perfectly satisfy'd before I ventured to deliver my opinion of this I went to Lylly and desired Him if he could that He would give me some Information So he told me there was one indeed that was of such a Stature such a Complexion pretty well-spoken grievous long-winded and he was indeed a person that was Bating Errors infallible But as for the Alteration which you say you think God hath signified in parâ— what means he will accomplish it by it is a sly Insinuation and the answer consists onely in taking notice of it But the Bishops project remains still as likely to go on as yours And whereas you ask if he had hammered the Romanists and Protestants into one Colossâ—an Church that 's Quibble round Now then shall the people do for Bibles Since the Bishop would not have unqualify'd people read the Scriptures Why they might have Bibles of the Doway Translation which look like Bibles enough to satisfie them yet are you know clean another thing Again you bring the Church of Rome to observe our weakness that we should think of uniting our Neighbours who can't agree together at home Why and we if you will have it observe Hers too in the same kind â— That she should send her Missions to â—he Indies China and the Anâ—ipodes affecting a Government â—ver Nations so remote that she must direct her Dispatches To our Dearly beloved c. In Aethiopia their Children or Grand-children for a Generation or two must die at least before â—he Letter can be delivered Otherwise as to our own Differences I 'le â—ell you one piece of my mind without your giving me cause And that is I confess I think it a simple thing for Frogs and Mice to fall out till there be no Kites But forsooth the Ceremonial Controversie amongst us can be defended by no Arguments but what are fetch'd out of the Pope's Arsenal We don't desire to defend the Controversie but to end it But would the Popes Arsonal be so kind Poor Arsenal 'T is pity it was not better stor'd with Arguments against Pillars too when the French Embassador was lately us'd there with so little Ceremony But thou mak'st the strangest Piece of the Pope that keeps his
to their Vices then to 〈◊〉 Consciences Why this shews only how much the want of these Vertues is to be 〈◊〉 valued not how much they are to 〈◊〉 valued Thou alwaies provest â—liâ—d I expected to have heard what they would have given us and if a 〈◊〉 should have got something by being a Good Subject Go on But for what belongs to the use of their Power I thought you had meant the utility or usefulness of it Exercise of their power and be whip'd then If Princes will be Resolute c. Come welfare mine Hoast of the Taberd Thou do'st nought but spend 〈◊〉 I tell thee friend thou shalt no longer rime Next he speaks of well meaning men who Bayes says may be punished if they do contrary to what they are bid for all their meaning In conclusion he cites one Corollary morâ— to which the Grand Thesis it self 〈◊〉 says is subordinate There are two kinds of subordination one in order to Proof the other in order to Profit You shall not slink 〈◊〉 from being bold to what is in order to Proof though letting you do so would be in order both ways to youâ— Prâ—â—â—â— The Corollary iâ— If Prâ—â—â—s plâ—â—â— a 〈…〉 of the Church the 〈◊〉 presently Tâ—â—ters I say then Bayes does not lay down this in order to proving as a Corollary his Thesis But all this now as I told you is impertinent to the Canvassing that point where he left which is The Grand Thesis Onely I have trac'd his long maze of words and dodging thus punctually for I never intended to make a business of Him to see if I could find how the King was glanced at but perhaps we may come to it by and by In the interim he concludes once more this is the syntagm of Bayes his Divinity 〈◊〉 the system of his Policy the Principles of which confine upon the Territorys of Malmsbury You have been at it once before as a Rectory then I pass'd it now look to it self as a Frontier Thou art the imprudent'st Champion for Forâ—iâ— Iurisdiction or Toleration chuse you which that ever I knew Can't you let that Book alone we should forget if you 'd but hold your Tongue why 't is the only thing that is as great a Hudibras to your Church as Hudibras is a Leviathan to the Presbyterians Now comes a great deal of rambling Invective against Bayes for endeavouring to Couch his business so as by intangling matter of Conscience with the Magistrates Power no body should dare to meddle with it Why if he does that does not concern you for you are far enough from so much as handling the Question yet for ought I see We proceed Bayes being fortify'd with that Intanglement on one side took himself to be impregnable on the other since His Majesty must needs take it kindly that He gave him such an accession of Territory and That what That Bayes shewd him He ought to submit to His Instructions lest by vertue of Page 271. Bayes should not think him fit to Govern For still this the King must take kindly too or we can't look that Bayes should expect by vertue of your â—â—ference to be impregnable on both sides if that which you say is in Pag. 271. be true which I don't belieâ—e and shall not make a Journey to look I suppose the Book 〈◊〉 eâ—â—ant for any body that please to satisfie themselves And so I conclude this with saying that in respect of any words of His which I observe by you set down in this Book for your Quâ—tation of p. 271. contrary to your Custom recites none I see no reason for your saying The King is the person in any indecent way intended by Bayes from the beginning Well then we come to what Bayes has said and something we are sure of That is the before repeated Thesis which is a Universal Proposition and none of them meddle with any particular persons Actions Therefore it is only to be inqired of such an one whether it be true or no. Under the Title of unlimited Magistrate He undertakes to Examine the Matter And first he puts off his Cap and salutes the Company as Tumblers do before they begin excusing himself by reason of his private fortune and Education Truly we have not seen either over much Learning nor Manners yet as to the Education and for your Fortune I 'le look a little further before I believe 't is in earnest so bad as you make it But if thou be'st a poor Scholar let 's see if there be any hopes of thy coming to ought that 's good that way Thou art Respondent Bayes argues thus Princes ought not to forgo that Soveraignty which is absolutely necessary to Govern The Soveraignty over mens Consciences is such Ergo One would think now He should deny the Minor and let Bayes go on and if he did not know his way lose himself Or else find some fault ex vi Formae in the syllogism not a bit of either does He But first starting another Proposition of Bayes's That no Rites or Ceremonies can be esteemed unlawful unless they tend to Debauâ—â— men in their Practice or Conceptions of the Deity Upon which Trans Infert that 's not thy business still that if the Other be true no man is in Ingenuity bound to do God that service which we deny to follow too but let that pass To the Grand Argument which we have made such a Grand do about and which is or should be the Grand Subject and Conquest of this Grand Book â— instead of Answering He turns Oppâ—nent and praemising that the King has a terrible way of Kicking and will fling you to the Stable door that He kâ—ows all is but that the Priest may riâ—e him fine Language thâ—ugh to a Precipice Only tells you first That he is confiâ—eâ—t if Bishop Bramhal were alive he would rebuke Bayes for it Secondly That no Bishop nor any of their Chaplains would have Licensed his Book without certain Non-Obstantes Thirdly That the King though they be his Right does not love to hear of conceal'd Lands Whoever can find any more let them take it for the Discovery Now would any one believe that this man had read St. Thomas Nay or Iack Seton or Burgersdicius why he does not know what Arguing is He does not so much as Confute him with Not. He onely Imitates the School Master that when the Child desired to know what was the English of such a word asked him who wash'd his face Go Bayes go what do you Dispute with a Durty face Now I begin to take him for a Quaker for as broken Mystical Logick is a sign of Infallibility so having none at all is in earnest a sign of a mans private Fortune and Education Tell him of Modes Figures and Syllogismâ— he has a Toleration for that and will tell you again They are all but Forms invented by Aristotle who may have been some Primate or Metropolitan Bishop for ought he knows under
Bellarmine Bayes distinguishes you know betwixt the Wealth and the Phanatick and so he 'l do too betwixt the Wit and the Papist and if there be never so many Penal Acts there 's nobody will meddle with Paul the simple Besides who can accuse you for either Preacher or Disputant The most they can make of thee is but a Nuntiâ— for thou dost indeed mentiri pro patria sufficiently But still that Quality is Sacred and therefore do you but onely as they say at Nâ—â—gaâ—e Plead you Rogue as I bid you and I warrant thee come off jure gentium Wherefore since we are now so near let 's pass Rubicon merrily for though Moses dissuaded Caesar yet He does not hinder any of us and if it were the Hellespont I hope one might go drink a Pot with Parthenope after so long a Journey Well I have lookt to the End see it 's in vain to spur for thou art quite tired and settest in a kind of a hard Trot to give us solemnly the Reasons that occasioned thy Writing Why Trans you must know that we take our selves to have very good reason to suspect that you writ this Book but one Reason and that is for a Reason that was Given you For it seems to me thou goest on so lumpishly every where that thou wer't meerly dragg'd to 't after a much wiser man as I am inform'd had refused the Imployment But Madam D' Olonne could not refuse Paget when his Letter argued from so undeniable a Maxim as 2000 Pistols and so you condescended at last to talk of Kings and Princes notwithstanding your private Fortune and Education and Your Thoughts as well as Bayes his resolved which way to work themselves when you saw Arguments produced for it That were not meerly symbolical But le' ts see what are thy Reasons First you were offended at Bayes's Arrogant Style since there is nothing you say in it worth his own taking notice of Why Trans this is the strangest Reason that ever I heard that it should be pity that a man that writes simply should be so fond as to like his work I should think rather 't were pity but he should be condemn'd for his pains to the stupidity of never knowing what an Ass he had made himself So that you and I differ clearly though we are both I see Tender-hearted in application of our Charity For in your case now I am content you should think you have done very well still Next His infinite Tautology was burthensome Marry come up A small Tâ—â—e then about Bishop Bramhal a Manual of the Letters of the Alphabet a Parenthesis of seven sides out of Mr. Hales the old Legend twice over of Austin the Monk and the Novel's of Sibthorp and Manwaring and Manwaring and Sibthorp I warrant Tire no body Why thy whole Book consists of nothing but Long Distichs though I believe thou wouldst make any man glad of a Seat upon hearing but a Dimeter of thine Nay thou canst do it in less compass then Impudent Modesty Your Third reason is your Exception against him because All the Variety of his Treat is Pork Here thou dost abuse the word Variety abominably Your friend Henry the Fourth would not have pardoned you if you had perswaded him that Chapon Boullis was Variety and Venâ—â— would sooner have sworn by Stix when By Love's sweetest part Variety she swore Then this if it must be Castrated into Conformity with your understanding nay thou debauchest the very Age too for thou bringest Love it self which should be a Divine thing and the noblest passion of an Heroick mind to meer Boar beckons Pigâ—hog wil't thou be mine When thou offerest to say all the Variety of the Treat is Pork You talk of Bayes's miserableness you are more miserable for you destroy the very notion of Variety and so I don't wonder at your being a Iew c. by Consequence being offended with Pork But you add cunningly You know the Story Prethee if Bayes himself does know it what 's that to us You have set our mouths a watering and now you take away the Meat But though we ben't worthy methinks you might have had the manners to have told it that the King at least might know it who you say Can make use of all these things Therefore pray out with it and since I have as great a Concern for the Ships as you pretend for Galleys if you have any more about Beef and Peason let 's have them too for the Pork and they being digested in a convenient Memorial together but I must pen it then for the Fleet will not have Stowage enough for the very Paper if it be left to thee possibly His Majesty may make use of it indeed and find out some Cheaper way for Victualling the Navy After this comes Eight Verses out of Gondibert Treat thee Quoth a if ever I Treat thee with Pork I 'le swear the Hog shall have his Skin on I see shew thee but Victuals and thou wil't carry away as much as will serve six men in thy Handkerchief You object Signing in Baptism with the Cross is made a necessary Condition of Church Communion I believe the reason why you are separated in truth is because no body dares let you come to their Christning and so you uuderstanding the words Astragon But those that may have more yet will have less Wiser then Nature make her kindness vain to be meant of Eating No marvel if you think his Discourse the better Scheme of Religion After this he forces himself to talk Religâ—ously again He had almost forgot who he was to be for On my conscience I might have writ for them as well as thee but it would have look'd so like Masculine Truth and Falshood deformed by Ornaments that I resolv'd like a good man to be for Feminine Truth and set nothing but my own best face upon 't to win fair Lady But having been so well paid for his Gibbelineship he gives them one more Acquittance since the rest will scarce prove a Discharge here at the end of his book for their money Do good People if you have any thing more to be ingross'd or Petitions to draw or need any further Instructions how to go on like Fools here 's one that you shall have very fair dealing with he 'l keep touch and receive all you bring him in open Market though he commit it to never so close a Coffer or private Till when you are gone But now I have done And a pious end thou hast made I 'le say that for thee but no body that hop'd to have a Reprieve ever spun out time at last as thou hast done nay and the Decorum on 't is he dies too with an Exhortation in his mouth That people will learn by his Example to be Angry and Merry Merry ar't say'st thou Methinks thou takest more pains then any Horse Let any man but look and see how hard thou art set Why since the Magisterium of the Grand Thesis is gone in Fumâ— thou art come to desire to save but any small matter Though it would but cure the Itch and so fall'st to tyring if thou can'st at least scrue Bayes his words to purport but that he made our Saviour a Player Now Mode and Figure Enthymeme Sorites and Corollary You shall see how betwixt two Stools he does it To put on the person of c. is Induere Personam as sure Trans as Your Grace is Vestra Clementia Then comes What part did he Play How This is a Saltus bona ingenia saltant you should have proceeded with saying Induere Personam was to Act and if any body believed that then have ask'd your Question Come you had all this out of the Answerer of Salmasius and your way had been to have transcrib'd the whole side again just as it lay For I see thou can'st not tell how to apply it Thou wilt make both all the High Sheriffs and Embassadors in Chrisâ—endom Players as thou handlest the matter and in truth I believe though they should be angry they can't chuse but be merry to see how much in the simplicity of thy heart thou dost it And now this last strangling for more breath is the way thou would'st persuade us thou art Merry So to crack'd Pipe and broken Tabor In Meâ—riment Clowns Drudge and Labour Thou hadst much better have let these after drops of thy Manna alone and all thy reasons too since we might have possibly took it for some amends if thou hadst onely told us in short That is as well as I can do Thou shalt see I 'le do Politickly now and give no reason except that I had nothing else to do and End so Onely since thou would'st needs bestow a thing like an Epitaph upon the Author to shew I will not be behindhand with Apollo in Courtesie if you like it take you this Here lies Transprosal That Writ a Book he could not name And Answered the Prefacer to Bishop Bramhall Without Replying a word So I pray remember the Thesis the Thesis Remember the Thesis Trans FINIS By reason of the Authors being in the Countrey these Errata have happened Pag. 21. line 16. read have two husbands or else miscarry of his first child p. 22. l. 12. r. Quibble would be p. 25. l. 5. abroad r. aboard p. 27. l. 23. r. cannot bid p. 29. l. 7. r. Whos 's Honor. p. 32. l. 13. r. Out you Rascal l. 23. advancement r. advertisement p. 25. l. 17. r. I did not p. 36. l. 2. r. St. Thomas p. 40. l. 4. r. endless fops l. 8. after Lycanthropy add for he believes himself a wolf l. 12. r. Auditores p. 44. l. 12. after onely add I have heard that so often and. p. 91. l. 21. r. Anser p. 99. l. 21. r. either p. 101. l. 21. after cause of it add O'ds S'deins you have a shrewd guess and you can't tell the cause of it p. 119. l. 11. finish r. furnish