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A43613 The ceremony-monger his character in five chapters ... with some remarks (in the introduction) upon the new-star-chamber, or late course of the Court of King's Bench, of the nature of a libel, and scandalum magnatum, and in conclusion, hinting at some mathematical untruths and escapes in the common-prayer book, both as to doctrine and discipline, and what bishops, were, are, and should be, and concerning ordination, humbly proposed to the consideration of the Parliament / by E. Hickeringill ... Hickeringill, Edmund, 1631-1708. 1689 (1689) Wing H1799; ESTC R20364 90,871 81

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thought the good Woman was Drunk or a Fool to talk to her self but she designed only private prayer But certainly the Master of the Ceremonies is either a Fop or a Mad-man or else takes all the People for a Fop of his own making to have only a handsome gaze at the person whilst he Acts his Mammery in the pulpit Why does the pulpit stand alost But that the preacher should lift his Voice like a Trumpet that all the Church may hear or else what does he do there The papists indeed do vindicate pictures in Churches as being the Lay-man's History though he know not a Letter in the Book his Eyes may read by seeing a picture and thus my Ceremony-monger brings up his Fops in Ignorance and Ignorant Devotion they know nothing of the matter and cannot say Amen to they do not know what It is no matter for that for just like popish Mass called Secreta which the priest mumbles to himself so our Foppish Ceremony-monger that must be like a popish pri●st or else perhaps he had never come to so high a pulpit and place in the Church he must mumble too his prayers though in pulpit to himself because 't is just as the popish priests do that make as if the people need not pray nor believe the priest prays for them and believes for them keep them blind says the priest and then you may lead them by the Nose which way you please O poor English Fops To be fopt by an Old Fop that is as much or more an Hypocritical Knave than a Fool. And I am the more apt to believe it now because the mumbling Hypocrites never mumbled so much and so long in the pulpit-prayer before Sermon as now a days in this Juncture and Revolution in the Kingdom and change in the Throne to pray for the Abdicated King would be to own him and Popery with his Mouth but he dare not do that they have only his heart at present And to pray for their Sacred Majestle's our Soveraign Lord and Lady King William and Queen Mary they are such Strangers to his Heart that he chuses rather not to pray at all in his own prayer before Sermon or not at all to be heard till such time as it may be guess'd he had done it to himself talking as they say Witches do to himself in the Pulpit most prophanely mocking God and the People by pretending to speak when he only mumbles with his Lips for if his Voice be heard the crafty Hypocrite thinks that some Body will tell because the Tongue tells who he is for Where as now the Fox lies learing and lurching to see which King will get the better and then and not till then he will declare himself and in the Interim his Ambo-dexter reserves himself for he is true to no Interest nor to any Religion but that which most tends to the Advancement of his only God Mammon and his Curate only runs the Risque in praying for King William and Queen Mary In short for I am quite tired and sick of him his Church-Work is just like his Church-Clock moved extraneously by outward Weights Wheels Springs or Plummets but has no inward or spiritual Life or Motion such is his prayers such his Sermons though he have a Budget-full Dead Dull spiritless lifeless frigid and perfunctory Devotion he never converts any Man except to silly Ceremonses Because himself is not converted to any thing else his Words die before they reach the Heart of his Hearers for how can they well come to the Heart of his Auditors when they never came in nor from his own Head nor Heart he is the great Stock-Logg of the Church that has neither Fire nor heat within the little he has is all out-side superficial and without it takes up a great deal of Rome indeed but 't is good for nothing in the World but the dung-hil he is that Salt that has quite lost it's Savour if over he had any and good for nothing but to be troden under Foot of Men and relish'd by none but such as have lost their Taste or never had any I 'll tell you how you may be quit of this Ecclesiastical Copy-holder all his Tenure and Title to the Pulplt is Copy-hold get but his Notes or his Copies from him and the Pulpit will not hold him he must come down and hire a Journey Man of more Skill if any such can be had for Money so to debase himself to be Surrogate to a rich Fop that with his silk Cassock and Scarlet Hood runs away with the Galm whilst poor Thred-bare Crape takes all the pains Yet even these are scarce to be had for Love or Money for the Ceremony-monger has so polluted the Fountain of Learning the Universities that where shall a man sooner meet with noysie Impudence and gingling Nonsence a sounding Brass and rinckling Cymbal than in the two great St. Maries Pulpits in the Universitiis So that if God be not the more merciful and Their Sacred Majesties the more careful of their Academies the generality of the Clergy must be like the Scribes and Pharisees in our Saviour's time painted Sepulchres Gay without fine Ornaments without but within nothing but Rottenness and dead Men's Boues Just as we were in the Church of England I remember fifty years ago in the Reign of that great Master of Ceremonies little Doctor Laud that did so discountenance lively and edifying Sermons or almost any Sermons that a Man must have travell'd for it and far too if he heard any thing but the Common prayer and Organs above four times in a Year Indeed now there is to many Sermons in Print that we have plenty in the Pulpit though generally such discrepant Heterogeneous and Immethodical Stuff as being compos'd of several printed Sermons a patch here and a patch there describ'd that they are like a Beggars Coat or a Tallor's Cloak bag made up of party-colour'd Lists and Parches they are so dis-compos'd by the Plagiary in wise Prudence like a Thief that takes By-Roads for fear of being known pursued sound out and taken by the Hue and Cry. Therefore this Plagiary Reader conscious of Guilt disguises all discovery if possible like the crafty Hare that makes false Steps and Doubles in the Snow when she is near her form for fear of being track'd by her Steps and Trac'd Thus this Chattering Jay has nothing good about him but the Gay Feathers his Carcase is worth nothing but to Dung the Land so that the Church you see can breed Vermine as well as the Barn. CHAP. IV. Of Reading of the Psalms Te Deum Althanasius's Creed c. Alternately every other Verse by the People THis is such another Nonsensical Ceremony that it is Point-blank against Holy Scripture as well as against Reason and edification and neither Canon of the Church nor Rubrick or Rule in the Common-Prayer Book to vouch it and punishable therefore by the Act of Uniformity If so then where
but Hell by another Man's Graces of Faith and Repentance by relying thereon as Church of England holds then much more Nonsense it is for Church of England on such idle and false Principles to talk of Faith and Repentance to be performed tho never so much promised to be performed by Proxy or by Sureties If God Almighty would like some Creditors take Sureties and quem pro quo that if Child could not perform and pay Faith and Repentance then fall upon the Sureties and make them smart for it then you speak to purpose But God is Just the Soul that sinneth it shall die and the Soul that believes and repents shall be Saved but I fear the best Protestant has nothing to spare for a poor Insolvent Child Fourthly Suppose which is possible that the Sureties are Insolvent and have not Faith and Repentance for themselves then all this great Fat is in the Fire they can never perform nor pay a Debt for another that have not wherewith to discharge their own Debts let them promise and vow and be Bound in as many Bounds as they please for other People any Fool or Beggar can promise to pay a Thousand pounds for another but what signifie Promises Vows or Oaths made only to be broken and forsworn Lastly Which is the saddest Case of all or not a Pin to chuse suppose that poor Child is baptized without Sureties as are the greatest number by far in this populous own and in private Baptism neither Sureties nor the Sign of the Cross is required then they must bring Sureties afterwards to Church and then it shall be signed with the Cross But half the Parishes in this Town have no Churches and they are not obliged to carry Child to another Church Now you are gravell'd Mr. Ceremony-monger and you do not know what to do or say Again those that have Churches will not nor cannot for Love nor Mony get such good patur'd and kind Sureties to promise vow or swear for the Child What will you do now now you are worse gravell'd For either the Child in private Baptism without Sureties and the Sign of the Cross is baptized aright truly and fully or no If not then half of the Kingdom are unchristned Infidels there 's one of the two Sacraments half lost by your foolish Reasonings and fond Doctrines except you confess that the Child is rightly baptized without Sureties or the Sign of the Cross Which if you do I have conquer'd thee and thy silly Doctrine of making Faith and Repentance requisite before a Child be capable of Baptism And when you had made so great a Flaw in Divinity you sodder it worse with a nonsensical Whimsey of Sureties performing Faith and Repentance for poor Child by promising both Sureties Sponsores Customers not more silly than Ancient even in the 2d or 3d. Centuries as I remember but have no time to turn to it but an Error not so old as that of Papias viz. Christ's reigning here upon Earth a thousand Years personally as the Millenaries hold and a hundred more Errors of older Stile Besides the Vow and Promise of Sureties gives either true Faith and Repentance or not If only false it is nothing worth 't is false Coin it cannot shall not pass current any longer If true Faith and Repentance come thereby then is this believing and penitent Child capable also of the other Sacraments of the Lords Supper for no other Qualifications can be requisite Faith and Repentance fits them for Heaven and Glory and if so it must needs fit them for the means of Grace in the way to Glory St. Augustine good Man. was thus run to the Wall with this Argument and so must Church of England 'till they get a better Reason for Infant-Baptism than they tell us in their Catechism and Common-Prayer-Book and must rationally fall into the Error of St. Augustine who put the Holy-Supper like Spoon-meat down the Childrens Throats thus prophaning because not discerning the Lord's Body But the Sureties do it for them then let them eat and drink also for them take both the Sacraments in their Name and stead and go to Heaven also in their Names and stead And what will poor Child get by all this He will never know any thing of those Heavenly Joys which his Proxy and Surety enjoys Therefore to salve this Sore make room then for Confirmation a Romish Sacrament Well you 'l say you can expose Mother-Church and shew her Nakedness but can you cover it Yes that I can and have done it many Years ago in my printed Book called Gregory Father Gray-Beard If I be forc'd to lance my poor Mother's Sores I always sprinkle sympathetick pouder on my Lancet that it may heal the Wound It is forc'd to make to let the corrupted Quitter out But if she be so wilful and proud that she scorns my Hand my charitable Hand and Help march on let the Blind lead the Blind when you are in the Ditch we shall hear you cry for help though now like the wild Ass in the Wilderness she tosses up her head and runs snorting away in her month we shall find her CHAP. II. Of Escapes in the common-prayer-Common-Prayer-Book in reference to the Act of Uniformity WHat shall we have no Ceremonies at all then Oh! yes your fill so you 'l be content and not impose your small sense upon others in Canons and Acts of Uniformity which are not only vain Attempts hitherto even since the first General Council of Nice but all the great Wars in Christendom upon the score of Religion the Innocent Blood spilt betwixt the Arrians and Athanasians the Papists and the Protestants the Conformists and Non-conformists the Animosities Jalls Ruin Fines Imprisonments Smithfield Friers and Bloody Inquisition must all be charged at the foot of this Account It is very strange that Christians will not be content with the Imposition and Acts of Uniformity which God the Holy Jesus and his Apostles have provided Hast thou Faith saith the Apostle have it to thy self Hast thou a ceremony thou art fond on it may be good it may be bad make much on 't keep it to thy self to thine own Master thou 〈◊〉 or fallest We have general Rules as to honour God with our Substance or Estates in Works of Charity which is the greatest Thing in Religion and without which all thy Faith and Hope is nothing as saith St. Paul or is a dead Carrion as saith St. James because Charity the Soul of Faith is de●ed when thou evidences thy Faith to be a nothing Faith a dead Faith by destroying Charity in killing and imprisoning thy Brother for Faith's sake and perhaps thy weak Brother for whom Christ died through thy Imposition and Penal Acts of Uniformity Acts that are not only mischievous in breaking the Peace and Unity of the Brethren not only uncharitable in beating thy Son or thy Brother because he is blind restore him to his Sight in the Spirit of Meekness is the Apostle's
is the Brains you 'l say of all our Ceremony-Mongers Where do you say They are there where they always were but never Consulted in any of these Illegal and silly Ceremonies further then whether they are like Popish Ceremonies That 's the Test that 's the Testimonial that first gave them Entrance into a Protestant Church and the Papists finely laugh at us and deride us for being their Apes as I have heard the Popish Friers beyond Sea Jear at us for the Mimickry grave English Noddles that have no other Reason not Religion for what they do but that they are the Pope's Baboons in spight of Holy Scripture Right Reason true Religion and the Laws of the Kingdom This confused Noise of the People is not Articulate but an un-intelligible and brutish Braying one Man's Voice drowns the Accent and Articulation of another and therefore is no more Intelligible than the Latine Mass and I suppose that the best Reason that can be given for it is that it keeps the people ignorant if they cannot read of at least one half of the Psalms The next step may be if this be suffered that the people shall read one half of the Chapters two and then though the vulgar cannot kept together from hearing the Scripture they shall be debarr'd one half in time we may go further we are just in the Popish Road that debars the vulgar from the whole Scriptures Read but the 1 Cor. 14.11.23 26.31 33. And if you fear God you will never do so any more Latin Prayers or Prayers in an unknown Tongue or an unintelligible Tongue also are Prophesies or Preachments in an untelligible Tongue by the Confusion of which God is not the Author but the Devil and the Pope invented these Contusions by them to beget the Mother of Popish and Ceremony Mongers Devotion Ignorance For saith St. Paul in that 1 Cor. 14.11 If I know not the Voice I shall be unto him that speaketh a Barbarian and he that speaketh shall be a Barbarian unto me Here is a plain Scripture against this confused Noise no man can know the meaning of a Voice that is not Articulate But what cares a Ceremony Monger for Scripture Give him his God give him his Mammon give him his popish Mimickry but whilst he makes himself a popish Ape he makes dull Englishmen both Apes and Asses All the Reason that ever any of them can give for this profane Folly is that the Singing boys do it and the great Heads do it and therefore the silly people like the Papists say must not we believe and practice as the Church believes and practises meaning by the Church the Clergy the rich the great and the gay Clergy And if this must be a Reason why may we not as well believe and practise as doth the ●ope of Rome as well any old Innocent here at home We talk of h●ting Popery in Italy we do well but not a j●● better for us if we follow the same Implicit Faith in England that the Italians do in Rome Thus the Prophets prophesie falsly and the Priests bear Rule by their means and my people love to have it so and what will ye do in the end thereof Let all things be done to edifying saith the Apostle and ye may all Prophesie or read for if Reading be not Preaching or Prophesing we have abundance of dumb Prophets if it be not a Bull in England 1 Cor. 14.31 Ye may all Prophesie read or preach one by one that all may Learn and all may be comforted Implying evidently that there can be no Learning no comfort no Edification in our confused and banling Superfuelon which is just like the Gossips Chat where all Tongues wag and all are Preachers and no Hearers Since therefore God is not the Author of this Confusion neither Law Canon Edification Rubrick Reason Act of Uniformity Religion nor Scripture to ●ouch it but point blank against all these tell me how it came here except from the Devil and the Pope Short Ejaculations as Amen Lord have Mercy or repeating after the Articulat Voice of the Minister falls not under this Censure But I wonder who taught the Women whose chiefest Beauty is modest Silence who taught them to prate in the Church They are so full of Tongue you 'l say that perhaps a little teaching would serve I never suffered such a confused babling in my Church of All-Saints Let them play the fools and popish Apishness some where else I never would permit them at which abundance of people took Snuff and because they might not be superstitious Apes they would not come there at all a good riddance of them they left the Room to their betters for we want nothing there so much as Room Is there not some fear least we all be beg'd Beg'd For what for wise men No but to replenish the Colledge of Gotham we are topping Fellows if the Pinacles of the Temple stand in view which is the way thither Are we not all as silly as that Cardinal who says Sit ergo Dominus noster papa baculus in aq●d fr●ctus absit tamen ut crederem quod viderim Let our Lord the pop●b a Staff partly in the water seeming crooked yet God forbid that I should believe mine own eyes Like Cardinal Bellarmin who makes Ignorance not Understanding the Ground of Faith Intending surely that none out Coxcombs priest-ridden should be of the Church This Ceremony monger carries one infallible Mark about him you may know him from a thousand for he sets such a Value and price upon his Illegal Trinkets and Ceremonies that if you take them or offer to take them from him he cryes out and roars like mad Micah Ye have taken away my gods which I made and the Priests and ye are gone away and what have I more And what is this that ye say unto me what aileth thee Would it not make a man bellow and cry to lose the Diana's by which he got his Wealth and on which ●o chiefly volues himself because it made him a man of value and those that are his Favourites on whom he puts the greatest Value That Trinket after him in a blind implicite slavish Mimickry and Imitation He that calls for a Reason he is not a man for his turn but sawcy troublesome and petulant Thus the blind lead the blind have a care of the ditch there just before you you had better take warning than tumble in But I fear lapidi loquor I wash a Black Moor I doubt yet I know no harm I do if I do him no no good if the Leopard will keep his Spots I did not make them he is Bedlam mad surely why dost thou strike so furiously I would but unshakle thee and set thee free or make thee set thy self free by representing thy self to thy self For I 'll assure thee that in City and Countrey good Master of the Ceremonies thou hast not amongst rational men more Beholders than Abhorrers Surely thy Ascendant