Selected quad for the lemma: book_n
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A52854
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A parliament of ladies with their lawes newly enacted.
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Neville, Henry, 1620-1694.
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1647
(1647)
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Wing N512A; ESTC R19918
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11,625
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17
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grumble we may find answers by looking on our apron-strings knowing by experieÌ„ce that most men are of a strange kidny will never be quiet full nor fasting this also past among the rest The next that spake in court was a mad wench called Besse Blue or blot-Blot-book a Scrivners wife who also desired that one thing might be rectified coÌ„cerning her husbands trade that in al Contracts Covenants Jointures made betwixt bachelors maids widows widowers the often word Notwithstanding may be razed out instead therof Alwayes provided as ofteÌ„ put in the want of whch reformation said she I have endured to my prejudice to this they generally consented desired it might be prickt downe with an Imprimimis In then comes Mi Elenor Ever-crosse with her five eggs said she desired to have another added wch should not be addl'd my husbaÌ„nd said she in anger said he would thump me to whâ—â—â— answered thump me wher wilt thou thump me thump me but wher thâ—â—â— shouldst thump me or I l'e make it the dearest thuÌ„ping that ever thou dâ—â—â— thump in thy life I think I hink I hit him home which was more thâ—â— ever he did to me then I had him on the hip you should have kept him so when you had him there replied Mary Malepart if you had bin wise But concerning your great thumpers concerning him who said that a Law might be made that no woman should suffer her selfe to be thumpt but as she ought to be to whom the whole Court willingly condiscended Thus said Mistris Dorothy Doe-little I hold it requisite also that every woman of sense should take delight to please her eye with the most curious objects either of such pictures as we like or such men as we love Her eare rather with curious and choyse Musick or have some Courtship that may content her or somewhat publisht in her praise Her smell rather with sweet and redolent flowers at home or precious odours and perfumes fetcht from abroad Her touch either with the Pluch and Taffates of her owne gay garments or by the griping of his smooth and soft hand whom she most dearly affected Her taste with all daintie and dear fare with either Fowl or Fish with sweet Wines and sweet Meats Banqueting and Junkets and every varietie that can taste the appetite or please the palate And for our more ease let us lie a bed till ten of the clock and then have a Caudle brought to our bed side for our break-fast and be ready by Dinner-time then walk abroad to take the ayre till Supper-time and so spend the week about and if they aske the reason thereof tell them it must be so because it must be so and let them understand that Monday is Sundayes brother and that Tuesday is such another Wednesday they must go to Church pray and Thursday is halfe holy-day Friday it is too late to begin to spin and Saturday all the world knowes is halfe holy-day agen You speak well in that said Mistris Bridget Bold face for why should we toyle and turmoyle for our horn-headed and hard headed husbands not taste of the sweet as well as of the sowre of the gaine as the paine the pleasure as the puzzle If the Husbands be ours then be their goods ours their Lands ours their Cash and Coyne ours and all their moveables howsoever seldome in motion ours too and at our command then why should we be niggards and not spend freely of our owne or why when they be prodigall abroad should we be penurious at home nay let us eat good fare keepe good fires want nothing that Women should have good catâ—s after good company we can then bid any God speed without good gossips It is fit wee should be merry so it fall within compasse of meanes and for my owne part I make use of the old proverb Every good huswife as soone as she 's up Hath her hand in the Cup board her nose in the Cup Which also was agreed upon with such an unanimous consent that this Law above the rest should be writ in great Letters to distinguish them from the rest as best corresponding with most of their conditions Further let it be enacted said Anne Ever-Crosse that whosoever shal hereafter take a Wife shall doe it with the intent to please her serve her and obey her and the first day of their Bridals as a signe and token of dutie to her and all the rest place her at the upper end of the Table or if she like not that place put her in the middle and with his hat in his hand wait on her till she hath halfe or at the most three quarters dined and then if he have leave to sit downe which must be done by her licence that he place himselfe at the lower end of the Table and make a short meale till they be ready to take away and that at Supper he doe the like and after that she goe to Bed first and rise last and not attempt any thing but that stands with her good libertie and liking and this past amongst the rest for currant Then rose up one Mistris Rachel Rattlebooby and said I intreat that I may have a finger in the pye too as well as the rest a fooles bolt like my husbands is soone shot and so is mine When I was as well in health as any here I complained to my good man of my Heart and Head my Liver and my Lungs and â—indeed I know not of what who comming home said Wife how doe you doe I answered Sick good man very sick then the fond Coxcomb bid me speak for any thing I had a mind unto for saith he no question but thou dost breed I I said I I do breed but you never get me any thing no saith he who gets it then I told him againe that it was no matter to him who gets it for sure said I I may long long but shal be sure to come short of what I long for why what dost thou long for said my husband For that quoth I which is beyond your reach ywis Silk Gowne and Sattin Petticoat of the fashion an Italian cut-work Handkerchief a black Bag with all the appurtenances thereto belonging I but said he sweet Wife these are above my Calling Why then said I mine own Calling shall serve for the next gallant Player I will call in who what he cannot adde to the happinesse of your memory shall strive to augment in your honourable state of Matrimonie And this she desired to be registred amongst the rest at which some were unwilling that it should passe yet the major part were so fully bent that it was set downe by the she-Scrivener in Paper and after in Parchment to be endorsed Mistris Tabitha Teare sheet then stood up and began to puffe snuffe and said she wondred why men should take so much upon them when one woman is able upon