Selected quad for the lemma: book_n
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A62863
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Cuckolds-Haven, or, An alderman no conjurer a farce acted at the Queen's Theatre in Dorset Garden / by N. Tate.
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Tate, Nahum, 1652-1715.
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1685
(1685)
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Wing T180; ESTC R38279
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37,234
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58
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I hear he intends to insult over 'em with his Gold End Son in Law but by a Letter that I intercepted I have found an Intrigue of his to mortifie him with All Nolens volens he shall Dress you Coach you and set you up again Lady-Child Gir. Ay will he set my Knight up too So my Knight were up it were no matter though I were down Mrs. T. But your Ladiship must follow me to the Compter then your joint Presences will strike an Awe into him I will hasten before and send your Ladiship a Coach your Ladiships most humble Servant Exit Gir. Come Syn we 'll take the Disconsolate Lady of the next Room along with us I long to hear the Story out of her Water Adventure and get out of her who were the Parties concern'd Her Fisher-womans Straw-Bed and our Ditch were Lodgings much alike Come along Syn. Exeunt SCENE IV. The Compter Prison Enter Sir Petronell and Quick-silver dragging in Security by the Horns Wolf Master of the Prison Quick Come Dad away with these Penitentials Old Touchstone has us all in the Wind and resolves to make Holborn Martyrs of us Sec. Ah Franck 't was ungraciously done of thee to seduce my Natural Wife and of you Sir Knight to abuse your particular Friend Pet. That Hunger'd and Thirsted to do me good your own free Gift Dad and you had good Land for it Sec. An' my Gossip Bramble had not known of it I could have had Mortal Patience Wolf Gentlemen you had best resolve on some method for your safety I can assure you Mr. Touchstene will make a Sessions Business of it and is coming hither in person to tell you so Quick You are under the same Condemnation Dad unless you bribe Mr. Wolf here and make one in our Plot you must make one at Tyburn for I shall peach Dad. Sec. By no means Franck I 'll do any thing What Plot Quick Master Touchstone has always had great belief in Witchcraft and is so terrified about it that he dares never be in the dark I will counterfeit being Bewitch'd and you shall lay it to his Charge He 'll do any thing to get quit of us Sec. Very well France my Province I can enact any manner of thing I was us'd to do it for my Wife's diversion it was ungratefully done of you Sir Knight Why 't is but rouling my Eyes and foaming at Mouth a little Castle-Soap rub'd upon my Lips will do it and then a Nut-shell with Tow and Touch-wood in it makes me spit Fire like any Dragon I Hunger and Thirst to be about it Noise here Wolf Hark he is at the Gates already retire and prepare for the Operation Quick But first Mr. Wolf give him these Letters and try how far they will work Exeunt all but Wolf Enter Touchstone Golding and Bramble Touch. You say Mr. Bramble the Deed of Sale was of your drawing up and that you can find Flaws in it Bramb I warrant you Sir Now shall I be reveng'd on my Gossip for his kind Intentions towards me Touch. How now Mr. Wolf will you produce your Rats before us Wolf Will your Worship be pleas'd to peruse these Letters of Submission from them Touch. Sir I do look for no Submission I will bear my self in this Affair like blind Justice Work upon that now Moreover I do much wonder Mr. Wolf that you should travel in this business so contrary to your kind That you who are Master of a Prison should endeavour the Release of your Prisoners Wolf O Sir I was never so mortify'd with any Mens Discourse or Behaviour in Prison Yet I have had men of all Nations and Religions Gold And which Religion lik'd you best Wolf Troth Mr. Deputy they that paid their Fees best Gold And these are Letters of Humility Bramb Accept of no Humility Mr. Alderman you are a happy Man and I 'll be bound to recover Thousands for you from my Gossip but then you must be Obstinate Touch. I warrant you Mr. Bramble I am Deaf and will not hear have stop'd my Ears with Shooe-makers Wax drunk Lethe and Mandragora Wolf Sir you cannot imagine what a Change is wrought in them the Knight will be in the Knight's Ward do what we can and Quick-silver will be in the Hole if we wou'd let him I never saw Prisoners so penitent and devout They sate up all Night singing the Sinners Complaint and Edifying the whole Prison Only Security goes a Note too high sometimes because he lies in the Two-penny Ward a great way off and cannot take his Tune The Neighbours are not able to rest for 'em but come to ask what Godly Prisoners we have got there Touch. Which of 'em is so devout Wolf Both Sir Mr. Quick-silver especially He has cut his Hair reads the Young Man's Advice and has gotten the Sick Man's Salve without Book Touch. 'T is strange he should have no Grace I am sure he was brought up where it grew Wolf He has Converted one Snapp a Bayliff too a Fellow that could neither Write nor Read He was call'd the Bandog of the Compter Touch. Mr. Bramble I have one Scruple of Conscience Shall I not lose all if I Prosecute and Hang ' em Bramb I tell you Sir as to my Gossip Security's Case though he should be Condemn'd to be Carted for a Bawd or so yet I will lay an Execution upon him of two Thousand pound let him acknowledge a Judgement he shall do it in half an hour you shall not fetch him out till you have paid the Execution This if I think fit I can do Sir unless you otherwise engage me Touch. You shall have double Fees Mr. Bramble Mr. Wolf set them all Coram Enter Petronell and Quick-silver They kneel Pet. Father Touch. Away Syrens I will immure my self against your Cries Sec. Who would have thought your Worship were a Conjurer Touch. What mean the Varlets I tremble at the Name Wolf It will appear so Sir Mr. Quick-silver Vomits Nails and crooked Pins and in his Fits repeats your Name incessantly Enter Mrs. Touchstone A Letter Mrs. T. Good Mr. Alderman be not so stiff I have seen such a Spectacle of Sorrow yonder Touch. Mr. Bramble Golding do I look like a Witch an Alderman a Witch I abominated the Black Art from my Cradle Petronell and Quick-silver whisper aside with Mrs. Touchstone Mrs. T. Nay for my part I have long suspected him for Necromancy Bramb Better and better Master Alderman here is matter of Scandal for you to proceed against them withal in the Doctors-Commons This will bear vast Damages Wolf Let both your Eyes and Ears be Witnesses Security brought in and set upon a Chair Mrs. T. O the Father How he stares This is plain Witchcrast and see he is falling into a Fit as soon as he comes into his Presence Pet. You will perceive more anon Sec. My Wife is a Whore I 'll touch her no more For why She rides on a Switch with Touchstone