to pray in praying fast in fasting so to read in Reading Many doutbless take up a cursory trade to read out the Cries of a defiled or rackt Conscience I say Read with delight not as under a load or as a Labourer who waits for the shadow of the Evening which you shall never do unless your Heart be connatural with the Word and therefore remember as Justification takes away Guilt and Punishment Sanctification takes away the Power and Filth Glorification takes away the presence of Sin So Effectual Calling takes away that jarre that is betwixt the Soul and the Law of God by reason of Sin the Called of God read but their Fathers blessed Will in reading his Word his Testament his Legacies his Precepts his Threatnings against Sin c. all which his Childe dilights to hear and read This one Book well read will answer any Question or Case and you 'l finde Solomons Proverbs the best Politicks and Christ crucified the best Divinity But in reading the Scriptures let me reach out this Experience When you have prayed over your purpose that way then in every Chapter first minde the Method then note the hard things you understand not and get helps to clear them to you And Lastly gather out the chief Doctrines oâ— Lessons then in reading onâ— Chapter you may understanâ— many And if you read the Bible with the Annotations oâ— some Divines or the Dutcâ— translated it will not be amiss I have formerly commended to you a Little English Library in this kinde which I now fear your so much altered Condition will not give you time to be vers'd in However Remember David Psal. 119. how every Vers. almost shews Love to the Word And truly you may be assured you shall upon mine and your own Experience finde that you shall have no more Christ nay God Spirit Faith Peace Comfort than you have Scripture Nor will you have any Christ a Saviour that is not a Scripture Christ Oh that the Word may dwell plentifully in you my poor Child 4. Pray continually is the Apostles Counsel to the Thessalonians And for this you may have far better helps then from my unworthy unable self There are many helps to Devotien Mr. Baxter Burrows Gurnal Bridg c. Yet you shall have what I promised even my Experience I hope you know That Prayer is the breathing forth of holy Desires or lifting up the Soul upon God or asking the Things we need from God in and by Christ according to his Holy Will not without Confessions and Thanksgiving This Work must have Time Seriousnesse Composure And this take undoubtedly That Prayers can never fly high where the Person is not accepted can have no strength without Faith About this Duty I must let you know There are Three Miscarriages usually First before the Duty Unpreparednesse Unsuteablenesse reaking hot out of the World Self sin into that service as if men could leap into Gods bosome out of the Devils lap Before Prayer you need to study God your self and the way to him John 6. You need to take a time when he is most like to hear even when he is inditing for you and puts Words into your mouth Hos. 14. The Second Failer in Prayer is When you do not watch to Prayer O the Hurreys of our Hearts the Thorowfare that carries crooked Thoughts through us the Vanity Folly Obliquities of our Spirit As the Heart must be whipt to the Duty so it must be bound fast to it How few pray how many say words Oh How many say their Prayers backwards call him Father who is not their Father would not have his Name hollowed nor his Kingdome come c. 3. And Lastly After this duty there is either an aptness to be proud And adde another Note as if the Lord was in our Debt or upon miscarriage in point of Inlargement we grow weary and peevish and call for our Prayers again if we succeed not as Lovers for the Portion not the Person call for their Love-Tokens back Look on Th. Goodwin on Isa. 55.6 7 8. Be plain and honest with God shew your Sores and his Love to you You cannot be so bad as he is good With the old Martyr I cry Pray pray pray My dearest Child Regard no injury in thy heart 5. Keep a constant Watch upon your whole man for which much hath been written as Mr. Reyners Rule for the new Creature Mr. Brinsleys Watch and many others from the Thonghts and affections to all cases almost But since I promised the Addition of my Experience to your Self I have held that very True noted by David yea by some Heathens That our Life is seventy Years half of which time spends its self in Eating Drinking and Sleeping the Remainder is Thirty Five and of that you may allow the first Fifteen even for Child-hood till when ordinarily little is minded that is solid then Twenty only are left of the Number and of them even half spent in by-business and then tell me how little do we live How needful is it then that you be upon your Watch continually when so many Silver Brooks run by many Doors unregarded It is hard to Watch most are very Drowsie The Disciples themselves could not Watch one Hour My Advice is That mainly you Watch your self in what you are And where you are These Two go far in your Watch to see your self in a good Estate And to be where you should be in your Duty and Employment argues a curious Eye and a careful Head But to be very accurate in your Watch and to keep off from troublesome Anneares keep a Book by you I mean it litterally in which every Night before you sleep you set down on the one side the Lords gracious Providence and Dealings with you and your dealings with him on the other side This Watch well kept fits for Prayer Fastings Sabbaths Sacraments and Death upon which Judgment follows I pray Watch so That Thoughts Affections Head Heart Hand Foot and all have a share in and benefit by the Work The Flesh and the World in all the Pleasures and Profits of them send up fumes to the Head occasioning sleep Therefore the Lord is forced to keep us waking by Affliction as the Thorn to the singing Bird David sought God early The Three Women early looking after Christ Remember thy Creator betimes And this Watching is the Circumspect Walking Ephes. 5.16 Look round about you continually as if you walked with God as Enoch before God as Abraham or after God as David he walked in God's wayes If you do not Watch you will be Tempted I say Tempted The Lord watch over thee that thou mayest watch my dearest Child 6. For thy growth in grace I am the more zealous because 2 Pet. 3.18 the Apostle propounds it as a Cure against all the Errors of the wicked For this also there are divers helps as M. Symmons his Cure to Distressed Consciences a Choice Piece and many others But
commend You dear Child 18. And because sin will be creeping into all your conditions waies and works something I must advise you about it from Experience though many Books are written about it as Mr. Goodwyns Sinfulnesse of Sin c. Yet Two things take from me Be marvellous careful it break not in Secondly as diligent to drive it out speedily And for the former Gouge and Gurnal I commend about the putting on the whole Armour Ephes. 6. Sin is a breach of the Law and the strength of Sin is the Law from that breach the soul being as well left to Sin the Keeper as to Satan the Jaylor by the Fall and nothing but the Satisfaction of Christ put in to Divine Justice can remit the Authority of it yea though the power and filth in part be taken away by Sanctification yet it will break in again as an inmate and will at least get some out-room as pride in cloathes cozenage in dealings lust in the eye passion c. and bad work it makes where-ever it is Oh keep it at staves length Peter David Heman and others ever crack under it As you cannot build your Reformation upon unrepented sin So you should not make daily work for repentance by admitting sin which must be reformed Therefore to prevent this mischief you must exercise hatred against it as against an Enemy that cut the throat or would of your best Friends and yours also and pursue it with a deadly feud hate it in all the stock and linage of it my Child A little sin is sin down with it keep your guard and hate it in all the forrage that may maintain such an Enemy I mean in the occasions leading to it in which I might be large On with all your Armour speedily and when you find it hath bespotted you do as a good houswife with her linnen get a Washing-day I mean a Fasting-day out with it by hand laver bucking if it be a stain that gets through and through it will â—ut the next spring for bleaking I mean a sin premeditated as Davids a few common tears will not help there but extraordinary and the Blood of Christ above all Ask the Damned what they aile Sin sin they cry Ask the distressed Conscience Sin too Ask the Afflicted Sin For the Bulrush will not grow without mire That which crosseth the Law of God make thy greatest crosse that which divides you from the best Good call your worst Evil It made Christ to bleed to groan to die The Lord sprinkle thy Conscience with the Bloud of the Everlasting Covenant that you may not sin to death My dear Child 19. And next because bordering upon what went before I would add a case which so often even choice Christians are incumbred with and that is Their questioning all their works after manie years Experience and Profession and their Objections many against themselves as from sin before Conversion in Conversion after it repeated sins against Judgment Mercie Light Means yea even cutting Purses under the Gallows against all Examples and what not Nay it cannot stand with Gods honour to save c. though Isa. 55.8 answers all This therefore I would have you know that though it be not safe to dig at Foundations often lest we shake the Building so our great care is to have sound Foundations to build upon which in the general is Christ and other none can lay Make quick work and see you be in Christ and offer your Evidences to a discerning Friend or more and know that God hath limited his tenders of Grace to a day of this Life of the Gospel and of Conscience awakened therefore look out whilst it is To day Put by Spiritual sloth Cares of this World bosom Corruptions or what ever may hinder God is not bound to your limitings Were it not from his Mercy and and to leave every soul inexcusable why should the Lord give any time of Grace Remember this day ends suddenly How unworthy to put the Lord off till tomorrow and how retaliated See Prov. 1. 29 c. Your delayes rob your soul long of Comfort and you keep your self the longer out of Christ's service The nature of sin is poison do not stay till to morrow for an Antidote What got Lots Wife by lingring in Sodom the Lord must pull us out Nor can you plead any thing for hereafter which you may not now Oh to work to work and if you find it will not amount to Grace then cry mightily Ply the Lord with all the Promises of his Free-grace Isa. 55.1 Matth. 11. last Revel. 22.17 Isa. 53. the whole Chapter Jer. 3.1 and many more Tell the Lord none so vile as you none so good as Himself Tell him his Nature is Mercy he may be a gainer by his Grace However hang upon him living and dying in the use of all means Hos. 14.3 4 5. But if you have your share in Christ though hardly discerned make much of it you need walk very humbly very holily do not question continually as some do Psal. 18.1 Love the Lord who hath been your strength and will answer all thy hard questions dear Child 20. I add hereunto your Case under crosse Providences yea such as where Promises seem to speak one thing and Providence another Under which the best Saints have had great and strange sinkings of spirit For which you have Sibbs Burroughs and others to help My poor thoughts also are these for Case and Cure When Joh faints Joh 4.5 When David chides his soul Psal. 42. When Heman is even distracted Psal. 88.15 Jacob will not be comforted Gen. 37.35 and so divers This great Dissertion springs from either the overweening some Comforts we enjoy our overvaluing them breeds much trouble in the losse of them So David with his Absolom or from the surprizall being sudden and unexpected a prison at first uncouth in time easie and sweet where a mortified heart grows suited to it to this I could speak much or else it may spring from some secret weight God may put into this Change of Providence which we are not aware of and so the scale grows heavie with some Lead hanging at the bottom unseen a small thing troubles more than a greater the former we apply to our own strength in it but for the other to Gods Or lastly it may spring from the Dispensation it self As when the Crosse is heavie or multiplied or of long continuance or toucheth some noble part as wounds that touch the Liver Heart Brain c. Nay I must tell you when we make our Case worse than God doth as by our refusing the Lords Comforts which Jacob did Gen. 37. or where we let loose the Reins of Passion as David Oh my son my son c. Or when we drown all our present Enjoyments in that one crosse Providence which is too near the spirit of Haman who crost by Mordecai slights all his Favours at Court and dies upon the other Your Cure
Funeral Sermons you may reade about it I say Life is sweet and Death terrible many in several distempers may call for it neither minding what it is nor whither it leads Job describes it in his Agony and Heathens could say The first good was not to be born and the next to dye quickly Paul above any desires it upon right grounds Yea the last words in the Canticles and the last in the Bible are for the Lord Jesus to come quickly yea to come to judgment as if it were the breathings of the spirits of the Just in the last times of which spirit if you be these will be your Reasons as theirs First That you may see Him of whom you have heard so much who hath done and suffered so much for you Secondly That you may have full draughts of what you now tast only Thirdly That your Beloved may come to you or you to Him for whose sake and love you may undergo here many frowns brow-beatings if not worse thus the absent Spouse waits for her Beloved Fourthly When the Sanctuary is troden upon Isa. 64.1 Fifthly That the double Vail of Corruption and Affliction may be taken off from you Thus to wish for Death is to wish for Life These things I pray study and to help you further remember Balaam would fain die the Death of the Righteous which you can never do unless you live the Life of the Godly to which I have written so much before Only let me adde That you must live in daily Expectation of this great Change for though there be but one way into the World there are many out I know nothing to sweeten it but the Death of Christ who suckt out the poison of it and saves to the uttermost Romans and Fools can dye bravely write their own Elegies I am sure a well-led life is the best Monument If one at your door should cry every morning You must dye it would not reach far but Christ dyed for you My Child 30. They say and truly Where Death leaves you there Judgment finds you Nothing flies so swiftly than as the soul out of the body and you know Eternity hangs upon a moment and such is our Life and especially such is the last groan and pang and thither it leads It is a vast Ocean hath neither bound nor bottom where you are to come before an impartial Judge with a naked and open breast it is unavoidable and the miscarriage there intolerable Many Books are written by many about these last things and Apothegmes not a few the World and the Flesh will not appear for you the former can lend you but a few Ceremonies and Complements the other dare go no further than the Judges door but a good Conscience sprinkled by the Blood of Christ will enter with boldness and plead and hear the voice of Come ye blessed Your wisdome will be to carry your Pardon in your bosome there Wit and Learning Parts and Wealth will get no hearing there the Eloquent Orator is dumb no Coin is currant but the Blood of a loving Saviour No man can appear there by any other Proxy there Greatness must give way to Goodness there Hypocrisie is unmask'd Truth naked there your fellow Saints shall sit Judges though dispised amongst men there the Son of man shall appear because despised as the Son of man there Preaching Miracles Casting out Devils will not profit but a Name written in the Book of the Lamb Oh that you would consider betimes what a nothing a thousand years are to Eternity yea where you shall be an hundred years hence if the Grave make no distance betwixt the Scepter and the Mattock what will Eternity do when that shall make the difference Wherfore I pray measure all your works by Eternity eat drink sleep work by Eternity the cry of a damned soule is I never minded Eternity how many are every day carrying faggots to burn them to Eternity Call that good that holds for ever Let but the Judge be your Husband and fear nothing The ever-living God love you and keep you to all Eternity My Child 31. And because I have brought you so far as the Great Day give me leave to awaken you with the condition of the place Heaven and to let you know it in the particulars which are the presence of all good and the absence of all evil the former commends it self unto you in these First in the universality of it whereas all things here below are but partial so in the suitableness of it they are there spiritual and suitable to the Spirit Secondly for their Continance the good things are not like Cherries drawn by the lips or Comforts tasted and gone but they stay and are good for ever Thirdly Evil knows no place there Sin cannot dwell with that Holiness Sorrow cannot mingle it self with that Joy no more fading Riches dying Friends changing Honors perishing Beauty no more aking heads nor languishing diseases no more hearing the chain of the Prisoner nor anger of the Oppressor no cry of what do you lack every Bottle is full and every Bed easie being of never-blasting Roses and Sweets where every Room is paved with Love where Wisdom Power Mercy and Grace have combined to make all glorious and pleasant Then never be troubled about a dunghil-world when the Apostle to the Thessalonians sayes all in a few words We shall be with the Lord for ever and that includes all answers all hard Questions all hard Labours under the Sun Remember the Swaggerer that met the poor man ever mourning over his sins quoth he What still mourning c. But what if there be no Heaven Ah Sir quoth the other what if there be a Hell The Doctrine of Hell was never enough preach'd some thinks and there on the contrary is the presence of all evil and the absence of all good you may study it by the former where the Tormented never die and the Tormentor is never weary where thought and fear despair punishment extremity meet altogether in Eternity The Father of our Lord Jesus Christ preserve you to his Heavenly Kingdom My poor Child Union with Christ and Knowledge sound The Scriptures reade in Pray'r be found A constant Watch and growth in Grace Good Conscience Time short Work apace Contentment in Condition Low No Trifling Spirit in you grow Nor Busie nor Pragmatical Truth still appearing in your All Wisdom directing soon and late In Calling and in Marriage-state The World describ'd in its bad wayes A Friend indeed beyond all praise And Sin the Mother of all Grief Grace often question'd for relief With Providences running crosse Fears sinfull causing Doubts and Losse Dayes of Adversity and Evil Errors that spring from Self and Devil Sabbath for Rest and Worshipping And Free-grace pitying pardoning With accurate and holy walking Hard to believe though easie talking Death ghastly looking and Sins daughter With Judgment that will follow after Heav'n in its great Magnificence Hell's punishment in
Losse and Sense Are the great things charg'd on thee here To reade and minde and minde my Dear From him who grieves he hath no more But Words to leave Christ be thy Store 33. And because I know not how the door of Oportunity may stand open or shut the Day drawing near of Tryal I shall give you an account of my Self and dealings that if possible you may wipe off some Dirt or be the more content to carry it in which I shall mainly apply my self to these late troubles I was the Son of considerable Parents from Foy in Cornwall my Father a Merchant his Ancestors driven thither from Antwerp for Religion I mean the Reformed my Mother of the same Town of a very ancient Family the Name Treffey of Place or the Place in that Town of which I would not boast These lived in very great abundance their Losses at Sea grew very great in the midst of which Losses my elder Brother being at Oxford I was sent to Cambridge and that Estate I had by an Uncle I left with my Mother and lived at the University and a little from thence about eight years took my Degree of Master of Arts where I spent some years vainly enough being but 14 years old when thither I came my Tutor died I was expos'd to my shifts Coming from thence at London God struck me with the sense of my sinful estate by a Sermon I heard under Pauls which was about 40 years since which Text was The burden of Dumah or Idumea and stuck fast This made me to go into Essex And after being quieted by another Sermon in that Country and the Love and Labours of Mr. Thomas Hooker I there Preacht there married with a good Gentlewoman till I went to London to ripen my Studies not intending to preach at all where I attended Dr Gouge Sibs and Davenports Ministry with others and I hope with some profit But in short time was forced to preach by importunity of Friends having had a Licence from Dr. Mountain B. of London before and to Sepulchers I was brought by a very strange providence for preaching before at another place and a young man receiving some good would not be satisfied but I must preach at Sepulchers once monthly for the good of his Friends in which he got his end if I might not shew vanity and he allowed Thirty pounds per Annum to that Lecture but his person unknown to me he was a Chandler and dyed a good man and Member of Parliament At this Lecture the Resort grew so great that it contracted envie and anger Though I believe above an hundred every week were perswaded from sin to Christ I wish I may not be judged for saying so There was six or seven thousand Hearers and the Circumstances fit for such good work But I am tender there I had some trouble who could not conform to all and went to Holland where I was five or six years not without the presence of God in my Work But many of my Acquaintance going for New-England had engaged me to come to them when they sent which accordingly I did And truly my reason for my self and others to go was meerly not to offend Authority in that difference of Judgment and had not the Book for Encouragement of Sports on the Sabbath come forth many had staid That good man my dear firm Friend Mr. White of Dorchester and Bishop Lake occasioned yea founded that Work and much in reference to the Indians of which we did not fail to attempt with good success to many of their souls through God's blessing See Bishop Lake's Sermon 1 King 8.37 who profest to Mr. White of Dorchester he would go himself with us but for his age for which we had the late Kings gracious Patent Licence and Encouragement There I continued seven years till sent hither by the Plantation to mediate for ease in Customes and Excise the Country being poor and a tender Plant of their own setting and manuring But coming hither found the Nation imbroiled in those Civil Discontents Jars and Wars and here was forced to stay though I had nothing to support me but the Parliaments Promises And not being able in a short time to compass my Errand studied with a constant purpose of Returning and went with the first to Ireland most of your London Godly Ministers being engaged in Person Purse and Preaching in this Trouble I thought Ireland the clearest Work and had the Pay of a Preacher then and afterward as I could get it I was not here at Edge-hill nor the Bishop of Canterburies troubles or death Upon my Return was staid again from going home by the Earl of Warwick my Patron then by the Earl of Essex afterwards by the Parliament who at last gave me an Estate now taken away I had access to the King about my New-England business he used me civilly I in requital offered my poor thoughts three times for his safety I never had hand in contriving or acting his Death as I am scandalized but the contrary to my mean power I was never in any Councils or Cabal at any time I hated it and had no stowâ—ge for Counsel thinking all Government should lie open to all nor had penny from any General but lived in debt as now I am nor had means for my Expences what I had others shared in I confesse I did what I did strenuously though with a weak head being over-laid with my own and others troubles never was angry with any of the King's Party noâ— any of them for being so though the Parliament-Authority lawfull and never studied it much have not had my hand in any manâ— bloud but saved many in Lifâ— and Estate The Parliament iâ— 1644 gave me the Bishops Book valued at 140 l. which I intendeâ— for New England being a part 〈◊〉 his private Library which wiâ—â— all mine own I have often offereâ— for 150 l. the mistake about theâ—â— was and is great for they nevâ—â— were so considerable And theâ—â— were my gettings who never aiâ—ed to be rich nor ever had meaâ— to reach it The Changes grâ—â— as you see a Commonwealth found but thus altered I staid so long at White-hall contented with any good Government that would keep things together till the breach of that they call Richards Parliament and then I removed and never returned more but fell sick long and in trouble ever since never was summoned but once by the Council which was in April about Books of which lying sick I craved of the President of the Council to excuse me who sent unto me he had and I gave him an account of the Books but hearing that my Estate was gone and I indebted was private and did purpose so to live and so to die having a resolution which I kept never to meddle with State-matters but either here or in New-England to spend my old age in looking into my Grave and Eternity and never had to do with any