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A47824 Citt and Bumpkin, or, A learned discourse upon swearing and lying and other laudable qualities tending to a thorow reformation : the second part.; Citt and Bumpkin Part 2 L'Estrange, Roger, Sir, 1616-1704. 1680 (1680) Wing L1221; ESTC R14513 30,722 39

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him either a Papist or Popishly-Affected I 'le dye for 't yes or any man living that has either a good Estate good Furniture in 's house Mony in his Pocket or Brains in his Head Bum. Well but to my knowledg Citt Truman does not value himself upon any of these Qualifications But prethee let 's leave this Noddy a little and talk of something else what dost think was the reason that our Parliaments have been put off so of Late Citt. The very Question that I put t'other day my self and 't was answer'd Thus. That the Nation could not be Happy but in the Preservation of the Goverement as it is establisht by Law for the tearing of the Law to pieces must needs distract the People when they have no Rule to walk by That a great many worthy Persons were disappoynted in the Elections by being misrepresented to the People That by these Practices diverse persons were Obtruded upon the Nation of remarkable Disaffections both to Church and State And that therefore I suppose they might be put off to the end that some Other Distempers might be composed before their Meeting Bum. Well! and what Return did'st thou make him Citt. I told him he Smelt of the Court and that he had a Pope in 's belly and so I would have no more to do with him Bum. These People are grown Strangely bold of Late But Perseverance is a Grace Citt that will carry us on thorough Thick and Thin Citt. Now thou talkst of a Grace Bumpkin there is not any Action or Profession in Human Life without its peculiar Graces There are the Graces of the Tubb and of the Pulpit the Quack and the Doctor Nay the Academy and the Padd as the Scotch-man sayd of Du Vall that was Truss'd up for the High-way By my Saule Sir Says he It would have done your Heart good to have seen That Gentleman upon Action One man becomes the Bench Another the Stage And ye shall see One man Robb a Church with a better Grace than Another Erects an Hospital Bum. And then we call a Well-affected Brother a Babe of Grace Citt. That 's somewhat near the matter Bumpkin for the Grace that we have to do withall is only a certain Gift of Impulse that disposes a man to the Exercise of his Trade and Calling As for Example what 's a Pick-pocket the better for his Skill in Diving if he has not the Grace to keep his hands in Ure But now for thy Perseverance thorough Thick and Thin there 's more in That perhaps then thou art aware of for there 's a difference betwixt Staring and Stark mad Bum. I prethee be clear Citt that we may understand one another Citt. The Dutch have a very good Proverb Heaven helps the strongest they say So long as Providence is on Our fide Bumkin all 's Well but I 'm not for Running my head against Stone Walls Bum. But how far must we go then Citt and whither Next Citt. Take me for thy Guide Bumkin and my Life for thine thou shalt never Miscarry The game we have to play is a kinde of Trick-Track but what do I talk of Trick Track to a Bumkin the great Nicety is to know when to go Off. Bum. So that in some Cases I finde we may go off But why must I swear so damnably against Flinching then Citt. Because we are bound in Honour Bumkin not to Flinch But if the Cause it self Flinches who can help it Bum. What do ye think then of the Five Scottish Martyrs who maintain'd it to the Death that the Killing of the Arch-Bishop was no Murther and the Rising no Rebellion And yet as I take it Their Cause had Flinch'd to some tune when the whole Party was either Cut off Routed or taken Prisoners Citt. As a friend Bumkin the world is made up of Fools and Knaves Some are to Act and Others to Contrive the Fools are to keep up the Claim and the Knaves when time serves are to take Possession Bum. Well but what must become of Us in the Interim then Citt. The Interim as thou calst it is a kind of Inter-regnum wherein we are Absolv'd as it were by a certain Extraordinary Dispensation from all Bonds Civil and Moral till we can get Uppermost again Bum. So that here are Two Providences One upon the Heel of the Other The One in turning all our Oaths and Promises in The Interval into Nullities And the Other is an allowance of us to make the best of the First Opportunity Citt. That 's well Collected For all Oaths and Promises are Void when the thing promised ceases to be in our Own Power And an Oath that was made in the Flesh may be broken in the Spirit Bum. Deliver me Here 's Truman just upon us If he talks again stand to him Citt. Citt. The Rogue has us in 's Eye and there 's no slipping into the Wood but let me alone with him Enter TRUMAN Tru. Well met Gentlemen What you 'r for a Mornings Draught at Hamstead I suppose I 'le e'en back again and keep ye Company Citt. If you please Sir 't is a fine Walk Tru. So and how go Squares since the crash we had yonder at What do ye call the place Citt. Oh very well there 's a Book come out that proves a man may talk of Religion and Government as learnedly over a Dish of Coffee as over a ●ot of Ale There 's a Bobb Bumkin by the way of Tom and Dick aside Tru. Look ye Here 's the Book I ha' just read it over Bum. Pray let me see 't a little Ay here 't is I wonder in my heart what the man means by putting Strange and Strangely and Strange and Stranger again in the 5th and 6th Pages here in the great Black English Letter so different from the rest of the Book Tru. Nothing in the world but a high-flight of Wit as if a man that is in Trouble should cry O this villanous rascally Care Or tell a Glavering Cur that Fawns upon ye to your Face and bawls at ye behinde your Back Oh! y' are Curtis Sir Bum. Well but I 'm with you once again What do ye think of your University-Dull-man there Pag. 12. with his O Lord make these Young Willows to grow up to be Old Oaks that they may become Timber fit to Wansoote thy New Jerusalem Tru. Upon my Credit this Dulman was a Presbyterian For your Divines have here and there an Vniversity-man among them And it was another of the Same stamp that told God Almighty in his Prayer Lord if thou didst but know what our Friends Suffer now in Ireland c. Citt. Pray'e let me have a word now How will ye justify the calling to mind relating and Printing notwithstanding the Acts of Oblivion all the Evils of our Late Rebellion as we finde it charg'd Pag. 22. Tru. Nay rather Citt how will You acquit your selves either to God or Man for doing
CITT AND BUMPKIN OR A Learned Discourse upon SWEARING And LYING And other Laudable Qualities tending TO A Thorow Reformation THE SECOND PART LONDON Printed for Henry Brome at the Gun in S. Pauls Church-yard 1680. To the READER IT is a great deal of Time Pains and Good-Will that I have employ'd upon my Duty in the Vindication of the Church and State from the Malice of bold and petulant Libells And not one word of Reply save only from the pittifull Expounder of my Answer to the Appeal mentioned elsewhere which was in truth so clamorously silly that instead of an Abuse it prov'd a Complement But to see the Luck on 't Just as I was about to take out my Quietus the Cause cold i' th' mouth and to every bodies thinking without either Breath or Pulse behold Two unanswerable Confutations the One in Manuscript by way of a Familiar Epistle and the Other in Print The Letter was a Prologue to the Book as the Book may in good time be a Prologue to the Pillory if making the King One of the Three Estates may recommend the Author of it to That Preferment This Epistle of his crept in the dark one night into my Booksellers Shop as Naturally as if his Mother had been a Bulker and yet the Man 's no Bastard neither at least by the Mothers side as you will finde by his Stile and Logick which speaks him as true a Son of the Kirk as if the Pamphlett had been written with the very Milk of his Dam. It is drawn out into Two Large Folio's and truly too much and too beastly to recite at length so that I shall only present ye with here and there a Tast of his Vein and Humour and some short Notes upon it by the By. He begins Monsieur CRACK Now there may arise some Controversy perhaps among the Criticks about the Word Crack and so I shall Expound it to ye but you 'le finde the Rest to be Exceeding plain One Griffith wrote a smart Paper of Verses upon Dr. Wild wherein he call'd him the Presbyterians Jack-Pudding This was an Allusion proper enough for why should not Mountebanks in Religion have their Jack-Puddings as well as Mountebanks in Physick But however the Dr. took mee to be the Authour of the Coppy and in Revenge the news-News-book being at that time in my hand was pleas'd to Christen me the Crack-fart of the Nation As it may be many an honest mans Fortune to have a Wag to his God-father This Secret I have told the Reader in Confidence and I hope it shall go no further and upon that assurance I 'le proceed 'T is no new thing says the Letter-man for Pimping to raise a Villain to preferment and that has been of late your daily bread For what is all yonr Impudent Scribling but the Act of Procuring for Popery and Tyranny So that writing for the King and the Church it seems is writing for Popery and Tyranny And again Dr. Oates is as much above your Malicious Raillery as you are below Common Honesty and even CARE I am Confident can bestow time better then in minding the Yelps of such a Cerberus such a Prostituted Rascall a Sycophant to Cromwell betrayer Then of Cavaliers Now if it be Malicious Raillery to magnify Dr. Oates's services to emprove his Discoveries to Illustrate his Evidence to recommend his Writings to elevate his Abilities to set forth his Hazzards on Both Sides as well from the Fanatiques as the Jesuits to maintain him for a Canonicall Asserter of the Church of England against all Gainsayers to Enumerate the Good-Offices he has render'd to the poor Protestants and to pray that he may be rewarded according to his Deserts for all the good he has done us If this I say be Malicious Raillery then am I guilty of it But if all This be Good where 's the Malice Or if it be True where 's the Raillery And this is not all neither the purging of my Self But whosoever calls this Deference and Justice to the Doctor by the Name of Raillery does manifestly imply the Ground of it to be False to the wounding of the Drs. Testimony and to the blasting of him in the Reputation of his Literature Probity and Manners There 's the same hand again in Tom and Dick for I 'le publish his Pamphlet for him pag. 28. L'Estrange he says has Serenaded Dr. Oates of late most notably and caress'd him just as Joab did Abner In which Case I shall Appeal to Authority for Justice upon the Defamer of the Kings Evidence and a Loyall Subject both in One. In the same Page he makes a Proffer at an Argument He that is not against us he says is with us But L'Estrange never wrote against Papists and therefore he 's a Papist by which Rule if the Authour never wrote against Lame Giles in Holburn or a Little Lowsy Monky in the Old-Bayly then the Authour is a Lame Giles in Holburn or a Little Lowsy Monky in the Old-Bayly The man Sweats ye see on the behalf of the Dr but when he comes to his friend CARE he 's stark mad the Lord bless us and falls into Fits Cerberus Rascal Sycophant Traytor for there 's a wonderful Sympathy you must know betwixt the Author and this same Care But these are the Ornaments and Idioms of his Profession I must not call them Lies but Presbyterianisms Yet again Really Roger Thy Fiddle is as Damnably out of Tune and Thy Credit as much out at Elbows as when thou didst prostitute Body and Soul to Noll's High Nose and thou wilt look shortly worse by half then Harris in the Pillory c. And yet once more Prethee get S that Quintessence of Knavery or any of the St. Omer-Rogues thy Common Companions I see thee and some Irish Cutthrotes every Night with thee at Man's c. Here 's Another Flower of his Rhetorique and the Blaspheming of a Protestant Martyr over and above with two or three Presbyterianisms more into the Bargain Here 's Wit at Will ye see in the Dialect directly of a Western Barge But the Man 's in a Course of Physick and there 's no more Contending with him then with the Governor of a Night-Cart that carries his Arguments in his Tubs It is said to be the Work of one Harry Langly-Samuel But whoever it is by my Troth I do e'enpitty the Wretch for he 's set On and only Barks for a Crust But upon the whole matter there went more Heads then One I 'le assure ye to this Learned Piece and as Lacies Wench in Monsieur Ragou said of her Bastard 't is the Troops Child And a very Unmannerly Brat it is I 'le be judg'd by the Thrid-Merchant else Now to conclude in a grave Word or two this way of Fooling is neither my Talent nor my Inclination but I have great Authorities yet for the taking up of This Humour in regard not only of the Subject but of the Age we Live in whieh