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ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A01949	The ephemerides of Phialo deuided into three bookes. The first, a method which he ought to follow that desireth to rebuke his freend, when he seeth him swarue: without kindling his choler, or hurting himselfe. The second, a canuazado to courtiers in foure pointes. The third, the defence of a curtezan ouerthrowen. And a short apologie of the Schoole of abuse, against poets, pipers, players, [et] their excusers. By Steph. Gosson, stud. Oxon.	Gosson, Stephen, 1554-1624.	1579 (1579)	STC 12093; ESTC S105684	72,417	199

own request and my charges daunsed attendaunce certaine daies at the Court without thankes At the laste remembring with my self what Antigonus saide to a good scholer with presēted him a Pāphlee in praise of iustice Thou art vnwise to giue me a boke of iustice whē thou seest me delight in sacking of Cities I began to surmise that the sauce which I made was too sharp for his dyet and the hearbes which I brought too strong for his nose Therfore as closly as I coulo I came to Venice not once resorting Philotimo vnto thee nor any mā else which I know in Ferara my hap was so bad my heart so big Courtiers were wont in olde time to reioyce in these Epithites And were called 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 men bountiful valiant mercifull and mightie In so much that me seeing Archestratus in great pouertie write much and get nothing told him that if he had liued in Alexanders time for euery line in his booke he would haue giuen him a kingdom Among all the notable praises of Sylla I find it set downe that he was so liberall that he alwayes rather desired to giue then to take and if he had receiued a present of a friend as a pledge of goodwil he thought it due de●● til the value were returned with aduantage Peraduenture the Courtiers of Ferara haue learned of Tully that to giue any thing of their owne pulleth somwhat away from the mayne stake and draweth the spring of liberalitie drye by which meanes bounty stoppes the passage of liberalitie like the Pellican which is sayd in succouring her young to wound herselfe and the Adder that giueth life to her broode by her owne death For the more they let out and distribute abrode the lesse they haue in their Coafers at home Therefore practizing with Tullie to giue that continually which they giue willingly they put their handes in their purses and pul out nothing Yet the same Cicero in the name of Theophrastus commendes Hospitalitie thinking it very plausible in great men to set their doores open to gay guestes to entertaine forraine Princes very sumptuously and reward them richely by which they confirme their own safetie increace the number of their friends and fil their Chestes higher with a priuy gaine Following the countriemans custome in this which doungeth his grounde franckly casteth his seed in the furrowes to haue it restored in haruest with Vsurie This is it which Cicero sayth wee should giue of our owne to them that are fit And what are they but such as are able to make vs amendes wherein he neither regardeth the nature of bountie nor knowes what belongeth to a benefite For he is not liberall that giueth to take because liberalitie consisteth in giuing much and receiuing little neither may that rightly bee tearmed a benefite which at any time is returned again Thus Cicero measuring a Courteris liberalitie by priuate commodity like a blind Philosopher gropes at high noone and treads awry I haue reade of an herbe which is called Eryngium and some writers affirme that if any Goate chaunce to take vp a leafe of the same in her mouth presently her selfe and all the whole heard as they were inchaunted doth stand stil not mouing one foote either forwarde or backwarde till the Heardman himselfe come and pull it away And I thinke that some doating Philosopher which ledde the Daunce hath caught this Eryngium betwene his teeth and bewitched the whole rabble of them that followed with whom Tullie himselfe standes in a traunce not knowing which way to turn him in moral vertues For sometime hee exhorteth vs too haue greater regarde to our gayne than our honour to a glosing bountie then a true liberalitie And sometime agayne he teacheth vs all too bee single hearted which is for our honour not to pretende one thing and performe an other which is hypocriste Therefore let vs bring out the trueth as a skilfull heardman to teare this enchaunted Hearbe from his mouth Lactantius deuideth the office of iustice into two parts the one ioyned with God which is religion the other linked to man and that is curtesie The firste I will handle when I shall see occasion the last falleth so full into my handes and so sitte for my purpose that it may not be rashely ouerskipped For GOD which hath geuen to brute beasts both strength and weapons too defende themselues bard them of reason but sending man naked and weake into the worlde he lightened his minde with the Lampe of knowledge planting suche inwarde remorse in his hearte that seeing the image of himselfe in another acknowledging presently his owne weakenesse and deepely considering that wee haue all one maker GOD one Father Adam one Nurse the earth he shoulde loue him vnfaignedly embrace him with curtesie frankely streatch out his hande to succeour him and sette foote by foote vnto death to defende him Hee that performeth not this which Nature exacteth and duetie challengeth is rather too bee helde for a beaste then a man because he sheweth not the loue of the hearte the affect of the minde the touche of conscience the force of pietie the fruite of that curtesie which GOD hath engrassed onely in man Therefore Tullie flatlie reprooueth himselfe when hee sayeth that Man obeying but Nature canne neuer bee hurtefull vnto man But too see another oppressed and not too succour him is too hurte him too perceyue him in neede and not too geeue him releefe is too denie it him to finde him in danger and not to saue him is to kill him Aristotle and all Philosophers euer dreamed that men at the first raunging the woodes for their foode as beastes for a pray hauing neither speeche nor conference nor company togither but cloathing their bodies with the leaues of Trees couching their heades in Caues of the Earth perceiuing their neighbours torne many tymes and deuoured with beastes they whiche escaped the daunger ranne vnto other crauing succour by signes Thus gathered togither they profered to speake inuented names for euery thinge and so grewe to societie Yet seeing themselues although they were many vnable to withstande the assaulte of deuouring beastes because they were naked they consulted togither too builde them vppe walles to inuiron themselues with greater suretie and to reste in the night with more securitie Othersome are perswaded that it was not the crueltie of beastes nor the perill of their liues nor the death of their fellowes nor the feare of themselues that drew them togither but the hate of that solitarie life and desire of companie the lyking that eche one conceiued of the other the loue and friendship that passed betwixt them the want of abilitie the will to profite the likenes of Sexe and the care to multiply ioyned handes and heartes in perpetuall amitie If we bee borne to loue to like and to helpe one an other it is our duetie too knowe one an other and

mayster that leades vs to vertue Thus can I not deuise with my self Philotimo what it is that should mooue thee too triumph so much in thine owne conceit because thou art rather an Athenien then a Theban a Tuscan then a Bargamaske as though all were learned that came from Athens or all ignorant that dwelt at Thebes or all Courtiers that are bredde in Tuscanie or all Carters that are borne in Bargamaske But moste of all I woonder howe thou canst possibly sucke any fruite from my studies which are very small because I haue loytered stenderly grounded through want of abilitie Sith thou hast likened me to Socrates whose Nihil scio is confirmed by Arcesilas Zeno Empedocles Anaxagoras and the whole rabble of them which pulled out our eyes that wee mighte not see and taught vs to wander in the darke giuing no credite to their senses but doubting continually whether Snowe were white or the Crowe black I might ripp vp that controuersie of the Academikes and the Peripatetikes and shew thee by reason that I knowe nothing to driue thee off from the thinge which thou longest to heare Which if I should doe and dote in those thinges that I dayly see I am fully perswaded when I call for a Booke Philotimo woulde presentlye giue me a Brickbatte to make me distinguish a Stacioners shoppe from a Stone wall Therefore acknowledging my self to be made of a soule and of a bodie the one deriued from Heauen the fountaine of Knowledge the other from Earth the seate of ignoraunce I am driuen too confesse that I neither knowe all thinges which belongeth too GOD nor am ignoraunte in all thinges which is proper too Beastes but am perfecte in some thinges vnskilfull in other which life is onely peculiar to man This doctrine is taught by Aristotle approued by Foxius layde open by Tully and soundely discoursed by Lactantius Whose arguments Philotimo I wil not alledge because I see the ignorant which neuer redde them will not vnderstande them the learned which knowe them already will not regarde them And thy selfe I perceiue art more desirous to heare such thinges as are profitable to reforme manners than suttle to stirre vp discention in schooles The greatest thing that at this time thou desirest to knowe is onely this Which way thou mightest behaue thy selfe to rebuke thy friende in his fault without offence A busie prouince no doute for a simple witte and suche a burden as Hercules might refuse There are many good Scholers and grounded Philosophers in Sienna whose shoulders would better become this taske yet seeing all men to looke for greater thinges at their hands because of their knowledge than they are willing to shew when they are flightly rewarded they had rather content them with a priuate life then take so much paine for so little thanks But if I which may not compare with them neither in learning for I am young nor in iudgement for I am rawe chaunce to swarue in my penne through wante of reading lay the fault to my youth pardon my folly I desire no more recompence for my trauell A little streame serues to driue a light Mill and a lea●e fee is fitte for a lazie Clarke Therefore sith thou requirest whose friendshipp I cannot forget thou commaundest whose authoritie I will not resiste I meane to prosecute that which I first began not as chefest of al men that with greatest grauitie but chosen by thy selfe that with smallest ieoperdie might shew my mind nor that thou shalt find me as plentiful as Amaltheaes horne to yeeld thee what fruit soeuer thou crauest but that in this vacant time wherein your affayres are little my businesse lesse you frō the Court I from the Vniuersitie bothe idle the day slipe not away without some profite Diogenes thought it necessary for vs in this life to haue either good friendes or great enemyes they neuer cease to exhorte vs to vertue these are stil searching for a hole in our garmentes Therefore when one perceiuing the Greekes to bee subdued and the Carthaginiens vtterly ouerthrowen boldely pronounced that the Romanes were safe Nay quoth Scipio Nascica now is the time of our chiefest danger because we haue left vs neither friendes a broade whome we should follow nor foes of whom we should stand in feare Whereby thou maist see Philotimo howe requisite it is for vs in these dayes by one meanes or other to be tolde of our faults Euery man is desirous if he haue a blot in his paper or a botch in his verse or a stain in his cote or a spot in his face to heare of the same that for his owne credit he might amend it We are al willing to dresse our selues by a glasse that nothing about vs stād awry yet are we also blinde of affection so blunt of condition so waywarde of minde and so waspish of nature that wee cannot abide to heare of any wrinkle in our behauiour but if any man friendly admonishe vs of such● deformities we are straight at daggers drawing we flinge out of company wee chalenge the fielde and for his good will we rewarde him with hate To auoyde such a braule and to keepe thy friende to shew him his vice and to saue thy selfe to rebuke him for his manners and ye● winne his hart I haue alredy giuen the● a Caue at forbidding thee flatly to reprehend in ioy or in sorowe in mirth or i● misery in pleasure or paine And that I may the better imitate the course of nature which runneth à priuatione ad habitum from killing too quickening from death vnto life I will firste remooue the blocks out of thy way that thou stumble not and shewing thee what turnings betwixte this and thy iournyes ende muste be lefte to keepe thee stil in the righte way I thinke it best to vnfolde vnto thee as plainely as I can what thou shalt flie in reproouing thy friend that I may the easier teache thee heereafter what thou shalt followe As our friendes are not to be rebuked when they are pleasaunt nor when they are dumpish so are they not likewise to be touched in Company nor in Choler nor Continually nor in a brauery nor when our selues are as bad as they In Company because we loath to he taunted before them of whom we desire to be well lyked When Aristomenes the scholemaister of King Ptolome saw the king sleepe before certaine Ambassadors with rebukes awaked him in their presence he gaue occasion to flatterers to picke a thank in his Maiesties quarrell who incensed him so farre with the remembraunce of that reproch that they caused him streighte to enforce his Maister to drinke his laste draught in a Cup of poyson Tiberius which succeded Augustus in the Empire of Rome and withhelde the legacie which Augustus by Testament had giuen to the people perceiuing one round a dead coarse in the eare called the man and demaunded the cause why he did so To whom the

vpper hande howe ill good cookerie agrees with their queasie stomackes and how they had rather suffer destruction to ouertake them then seeke any meane to saue their soules It is the propertie of hony though it be sweete to torment those partes of the bodie that are infected such as are troubled with the Kings euil neuer taste it but they iudge it to be gall Therefore I wishe them al that feele me sharpe to consider whether it be to those that are sound or to such as I finde do norish filthe My Schoole of Abuse hath met with some enemies bicause it correcteth vnthristy Schollers Demosthenes orations smelt of sampe oyle because his candle burnt brightest when theeues were busiest They that are greeued are Poets Pipers and Players the first thinke that I banishe Poetrie wherein they dreame the second iudge that I condemne Musique wherein they dote the last proclaime that I forbid recreation to man wherein you may see they are starke blinde He that readeth with aduise the booke which I wrote shal perceiue that I touche but the abuses of all these When we accuse the Phisition for killing his patient we finde no faulte with the Arte it selfe but with him that hath abused the same Therefore let me holde the same proposition still which I sette downe before drewe out of Tully that ancient Poetes are the fathers of lies Pipes of vanitie and Schooles of Abuses Iupiter which was but a mortall man and almost a paticide that for greedinesse of the crowne droue his owne father Saturne out of his kingdome though hee were a cruell tyrant an vnnaturall childe an vsurping Prince an abhominable leacher as wicked a wretche as euer liued by Poets is made the king of gods Venus a notorious strumpet that lay with Mars with Mercurie with Iupiter with Anchises with Butes with Adones that taught the women in Cyprus to set vp a Stewes too hyre out them selues as hackne●es for gaine and that made her self as common as a Barbars chayre by Poets is placed for a goddesse in heauen Al these whome the Poetes haue called gods and goddesses for the most part were bastardes begotten in adulterie or very lewde liuers which had no soner defiled their beddes but they were snatchte vp to the skyes and made starres in so much that Iuno crieth out in Seneca Tellus colenda est pellices coelum tenent Le ts dwel in earth for heauen is full of whores what stuffe is this wantons in heauen a double diuinitie of he gods she gods If it be so I hope they will graunt me that in that place nothing ought to bee vayne if nothing be vaine they must liue together by couples like man and wife or holde the publique weale of Plato and make euery thing common If they liue together in lawfull marriage giue them houses to thē selues for lawfull encrease that all which they do be not seene in the market if they haue houses let them haue landes it is no reason they should be poorer then wee if they haue lande either lette it bee fruitfull of it selfe or giue them whippes in their handes and sende them like swaynes to plough and ●arte Bicause they are gods they neuer die bicause they are married they dayly multiplte for none can be so fruitfull as they thus neuer dying and euer encreasing some of them in time shall be driuen to dwell in the ayre some in the water some in the earth some in hell when house rome is scant for heauē will not hold so great a company If they bee fruitfull what is the reason that Iupiter getteth no more children ▪ doeth ●ee waxe olde or is Iuno barraine 〈…〉 afeard to gleane any longer of other 〈◊〉 corne least he be robbed of his own haruest Considereth he now 〈◊〉 good turne requireth another that hee which strikes with the sworde shal be beaten with the scabbarde If they make all common what are they better then brute beastes So grosse are the errours so great the abuses so horrible the blasphemies we finde in Poetes that wee may rather iudge them monsters of nature then men of learning Whilest they make Cupide trumphe in heauen and all the gods to matche bounde like ●●●serable captiues before his charriot they belie God and be witch the reader with bawdie charmes Whilest they enclose the power of their Gods in what compasse they please giuing Heauen to Iupiter Hel too 〈◊〉 the Sea too Neptune they forgett●● earth and leaue it too the rule of none 〈◊〉 al. Whilest they make many gods they ouerthrow euery god For if their gods bee of equal power no one of them cā doo any thing without his fellow and so none of them al may be called a god because God is perfect and almighty Being perfect he can neither be encreased nor diminished being almightie he hath no neede of the helpe of other What a confusion haue Poets brought whē thinking little that whatsoeuer is deuided may be destroyed they set all the gods togither by the eares some fighting for Troy some for the Greeks some for Aenaeas som for Turnus Saturne whō they affirmed to be god of time was a varlet that gelded his own Father afterwarde thrust out of his seate by his sonne Iupiter he was constrained to saue himselfe by flighte and a greate whyle liued obseurely in Italy Apollo was a buggerer and Schoolemaister of periurie Mars a murderer Mercury a theefe Castor Pollux whome they reporte to be twinnes growen in one body when they were rauishers of other mens wiues neuer mette within one payre of sheets Flora a curtezan that got infinite summes of money by sinne and gaue all to the Romans when she died by Poets is honoured for a goddesse of flowers Thus making gods of them that were brute beastes in the likenes of men diuine goddesses of common harlots they robbe God of his honour diminishe his authoritie weaken his might turne his seate to a stewes By writing of vntruthes they are open liers but if they do faine these frantike cenceates to resemble some what els that they imagine by speaking of one thing and thinking another they are dissemblers It is not enough for their freendes to say Lascina est nobis pagina vrta proba Our verse is wātō but our life is good Or Iuraui lingua mētem iniuratam gero My tōgue hath sworne my hart is free For players action doeth answere to their partes and Poets discourses to their maners yet are many of their Schollers so enchaunted that like the superstitious and foolishe Aegyptians they had rather lose their lyues then the Idols of their byrdes their beastes their Ibes their Adders their Dogges their Cattes their Serpents their Crocodiles Pypers are very sore displeased bicause I allow not their new 〈◊〉 and shew them how farre their instrumentes differ from those that were vsed in olde times they say their musique is perfecter nowe than it was before but who shal be

iudge Let Ismenias the graūd fidler that was takē prisoner by the Scythians in a battayle vtter all his cunning when Antaeas the king is at supper he will laugh him to scorne and sweare that his Horse hath brayed sweeter When Philippe of Macedon tooke vpon him to realon with a newe Msition of his new chordes and was not able to go thorowe stitche bicause they haue euer a crotchet aboue commons adde where they liste when they see their time God forbidde quoth the piper that your maiestie should be so miserable as to knowe these fantasticall toyes any better their effeminate stops are not worth a straw Dionysius made such accompt of their cunning when they iudged it to be at the beste that hearing the notablest Harper which was in those dayes hee promised him a talent for his labour next day whē he came to craue his rewarde Dionysius tolde him that he had it already For said hee thou diddest but tickle mine eares with an emptie sounde and I did the like againe to thee promising that which I meane not to giue delighting thee as much with hope of my coyne as my selfe was pleased with the sounde of thy instrument Bicause I would ha●e Dionysius folowed let thē not think 〈◊〉 hor●e Musique if they put on their spectacles or take their eyes in their hands looke better in the Schoole of abuse they shal finde that with Plutarch I accuse thē for briging their rūning into Theaters that I say they haue wilfully left or with ignorance loste those warlike ●unes which were vsed in auncient times to stire vp in vs a manly motiō and founde out new descant with the dauncers of Sybaris to rocke vs a ●eepe in all vngodlinesse If they had any witte any learning or experience they might knowe that Excellens sensibtle laedit sensum their daintie censortes will make vs wantens Aristonicus the Musition for his memorie with all posterities had a brasen I doll erected to him by Alexander and was wonderfully honoured for his arte This was not done for ●●ūding Les guāto spagntola or inuenting sweete measures or coyning newe daunces but for kindling his souldiers courage and hartening them all to take armour Such a Musition was Antigenides whome Alexander had no soner hearde but hee startled as though hee had beene then in battaile bent his siste at all them that were in presence whiche of oure Musitions that are so perfect is able with his instrument to make a freshe water souldier runne to his weapons or enforce the Dolphin in the Sea to saue his life if he suffer wracke Which of all their instrumentes that are so absolute can performe that which other haue doone before If ancient Musitions haue gone beyonde vs where is our cunning If their instrumentes haue passed ours where is the perfectnesse that our Pipers imagine why say they you play with antiquities wee builde vpon scripture Iubal was father of their harpe but how many stringes hee put to it or what songes he played they can not tell me Dauid did playe on the Lute and the Harpe and vsed instrumentes of many stringes but to prooue these instrumentes were better then such as had been practised many hundred yeeres before he was borne Hic labor hoc opvs est there goeth the Hare away And though I be of Plutarches opinion that when we haue done or sayde all that wee can the oldest fashion is euer best that newe cuttes are the paternes of running heads strange blockes the very badges of fonde conceites yet do I not forbidde our new founde instrumentes so that we handle them as Dauid did to prayse God nor bring them any more into publique Theaters to please wantons London is so full of vnprofitable Pipers and Fidlers that a man can no sener enter a tauerne but two or three caste of them hang at his heeles to giue him a daunce before he departe therefore let mē of grauitie examine the case iudge vprightly whether the sufferance of such idle beggers be not a greeuous abuse in a common wealth For my parte though I haue sayde more then they will like off yet set down lesse then they deserue I meane not too trouble my wittes about them it shal be enough for me which haue no authoritie to giue them a plaister to launce the sore frendly let it runne that in processe of time it may heale of it selfe Playes are so tolerable that Lactantius condemneth them flatly without any maner of exception thinking them the better they are penned or cunninglier hādled the more to be fled bicause that by their pleasant action of body sweete numbers flowing in verse we are moste inchanted And Tully a Heathen crying out against Poetrie for placing baudy Cupide among the gods vttreth these wordes in the ende De comoedia loquor quae si haec flagitia non probaremus nulla esset omninò I speake of playes which if our selues did not loue this filthinesse should neuer be suffered If plaiers take a little more counsell of their pillowe they shall finde them selues to be the worste and the daungerousest people in the world A theefe is a shrewde member in a common wealth he empties our bagges by force these ransacke our purses by permission he spoileth vs secretly these rifle vs openly hee gettes the vpperhād by blowes these by merry iestes he suckes our bloud these our manners he woundes our bodie these our soule O God O men O heauen O earth O tymes O manners O miserable dayes he suffreth for his offence these stroute without punishment vnder our noses lyke vnto a consuming fier are nourished stil with our decay Lacon thought it impossible for him to be good that was not bitter to the wicked then how shal we be perswaded of Players which are most pleasant to abhominable liuers Diogenes said that it was better to be a mā of Maegaraes Ramme then his sunne because he prouideth a sheepherde to looke to his folde but seeketh no instructer to teach his chylde hee hath a care that his sheepe be wel tended and washt but neuer regardeth his sonnes discipline hee forbiddeth the one too runne in daunger of the wolfe but keepes not the other from the Diuels clawes and if Diogenes were nowe aliue to see the abuses that growe by playes I beleeue hee would wyshe rather to bee a Londoners bounde then his apprentice bicause hee rateth his dogge for wallowing in carrion but rebukes not his seruaunt for resorting to playes that are ranke poyson So corrupt is our iudgemēt in these matters that wee accompt him a murderer whome we see delight in sheading of bloode and make him a iester that woūdeth our conscience we cal that a slaughter house where brute beastes are killed and holde that a pastime which is the very buchery of Christian soules We perceiue not that trouble and toyle draw vs to life ease idelnesses bring destruction that sorrowe and anguishe are vertuous bookes pleasure