Selected quad for the lemma: book_n
Text snippets containing the quad
|
ID |
Title |
Author |
Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) |
STC |
Words |
Pages |
|
A20060
|
The guls horne-booke: By T. Deckar
|
Dekker, Thomas, ca. 1572-1632.; Dedekind, Friedrich, d. 1598. Grobianus.
|
1609
(1609)
|
STC 6500; ESTC S105251
|
32,259
|
48
|
shall get experience by béeing guilty to their abhominable shauing CHAP. 8. How a gallant is to behaue himselfe passing through the Cittie at all houres of the night and how to passe by any watch AFter the sound of pottle pots is out of your eares and that the spirit of Wine and Tobacco walkes in your braine the Tauerne doore béeing shut vppon your backe cast about to passe through the widest and goodliest stréetes in the Cittie And if your meanes cannot reach to the kéeping of a boy hire one of the drawers to be as a lanthorne vnto your féete and to light you home and still as you approch néere any night-walker that is vp as late as your selfe curse and sweare like one that speaks hie dutch in a lofty voice because your men haue vâ—d you so like a rascoll in not waiting vpon you and vow the next morning to pull their blew cases ouer their eares though if your chamber were well searcht you giue onely six pence a wéeke to some old woman to make your bed and that she is all the seruing-creatures you giue wages to If you smell a watch and that you may easily doe for commonly they eate onions to kéep them in sléeping which they account a medicine against cold But if you come within danger of their browne bils let him that is your candlestick and holds vp your torch from dropping for to march after a linâ—k is shoomaker like let Ignis Fatuus I say béeing within the reach of the Constables staffe aske alowd Sir Giles or Sir Abram will you turne this way or downe that stréete It skils not though there be none dubd in your Bunch the watch will winke at you onely for the loue they beare to armes and knighthood mary if the Centinell and his court of Guard stand strictly vpon his martiall Law and cry stand coÌ„manding you to giue the word and to shew reason why your Ghost walkes so late doe it in some Iest for that will shew you haue a desperate wit and perhaps make him and his halberdiers afraid to lay fowle hands vpon you or if you read a mittimus in the Constables booke counterfeit to be a French man a Dutchman or any other nation whose country is in peace with your owne and you may passe the pikes for béeing not able to vnderstand you they cannot by the customes of the Citie take your examination and so by consequence they haue nothing to say to you If the night be old and that your lodging bée in some place into which no Artillery of words can make a breach retire rather assault the dores of your punck or not to speak broken English your swéete mistris vpon whose white bosome you may languishingly consume the rest of darkenesse that is left in rauishing though not restoratiue pleasures without expences onely by vertue of foure or fiue oathes when the siege breakes vp at your marching away with bag and baggage that the last night you were at dice and lost so much in gold so much in siluer and séeme to vex most that two such Elizabeth twenty shilling péeces or foure such spur-ryals sent you with a chéese and a bakt meate from your mother rid away amongst the rest By which tragicall yet pollitick spéech you may not only haue your night worke done Gratis but also you may take dyet therâ— the next day and depart with credit onely vpon the bare word of a Gentleman to make her restitution All the way as you passe especially being approcht néere some of the Gates talke of none but Lords and such Ladies with whom you haue plaid at Primero or daunced in the Presence the very same day It is a chaunce to lock vp the lippes of an inquisitiue Bel-man and being arriud at your lodging doore which I would councell you to choose in some rich Cittizens house salute at parting no man but by the name of Sir as though you had supt with Knights albeit you had none in your company but your Perinado or your Inghle Happily it will be blowne abroad that you and your Shoale of Gallants swom through such an Ocean of wine that you danced so much money out at héeles and that in wild-â—oule there slew away thus much and I assure you to haue the 〈◊〉 of your reckoning lost of purpose so that it may be â—ublisht will make you to be held in déere estimation onely the danger is if you owe money and that your reuealing geâ—s your Creditors by the eares for then looke to haue a peale of ordinance thundring at your chamber doore the next morning But if either your Tailor Mercer Haberdasher Silkeman Cutter Linnen-Draper or Sempster stand like a guard of Switzers about your lodging watching your vprising or if they misse of that your downe lying in one of the Counters you haue no meanes to auoid the galling of their small shot then by sending out a light-horseman to call your Potecary to your aide who encountring this desperate band of your Creditors only with 2. or 3. glasses in his hand as though that day you purgd is able to driue them all to their holes like so many Foxes for the name of taking physicke is a sufficient Quietus est to any endangered Gentleman and giues an acquittance for the time to them all though the twelue Companies stand with their hoods to attend your comming forth and their Officers with them I could now fetch you about noone the houre which I prescribed you before to rise at out of your chamber and carry you with mee in to Paules Church-yard where planting your selfe in a Stationers shop many instructions are to bée giuen you what bookes to call for how to censure of new bookes how to mew at the old how to looke in your tables and inquire for such and such Greeke French Italian or Spanish Authors whose names you haue there but whom your mother for pitty would not giue you so much wit as to vnderstand From thence you should blow your selfe into the Tobacco-Ordinary where you are likewise to spend your iudgement like a Quacksaluer vpon that mysticall wonder to bee able to discourse whether your Cane or your Pudding be sweetest and which pipe has the best boare and which â—urnes black which breakes in the burning c. Or if you itch to step into the Barbers a whole Dictionary cannot afford more words to set downe notes what Dialologues you are to maintaine whilest you are Doctor of the Chaire there After your shauing I could breath you in a Fence-schoole and out of that cudgell you into a Dauncing Schoole in both which I could weary you by shewing you more tricks then are in 5. galleries or 15. prizes And to close vp the stomach of this feast I could make Cockneies whose fathers haue left them well acknowledge themselues infinitely beholden to me for teaching them by familiar demonstration how to spend their patrimony and to get themselues names when their fathers are dead and rotten But lest too many dishes should cast you into a surfet I will now take away yet so that if I perceiue you relish this well the rest shall be in time prepared for you Fare-well FINIS
THE GVLS Horne-booke Stuliorum plena junt omnia Al Sauio meza parola Basta By T. Deckar Imprinted at London for R. S. 1609. To all Guls in generall wealth and Libertie WHOM can I choose my most worthie Mecaen-asses to be Patrons to this labour of mine fitter theÌ„ your selues your hands are euer open your purses neuer shut So that you stand not in the Common Rancke of Dry-fisted Patrons who giue nothing for you giue all Schollers therefore are as much beholden to you as Vintners Players and Puncks are Those three trades gaine by you more then Vsurers do by thirty in the hundred You spend the wines of the one you make suppers for the other and change your Gold into White-money with the third Who is more liberall then you who but onely Cittizens are more free Blame me not therefore if I pick you out from the bunch of Booke-takers to consecrate these fruits of my braine which shall neuer die onely to you I know that most of you O admirable Guls can neither write nor reade A Horne-booke haue I inuented because I would haue you well schooled Powles is your VValke but this your Guid if it lead you right thanke me if astray men will beare with your errors because you are Guls. Fare-well T. D. To the Reader GEntle Reader I could willingly be content that thou shouldest neither be at cost to buy this booke nor at the labour to reade it It is not my ambition to bee a man in Print thus euery Tearme Ad praelum tanquà m ad praelium Wee should come to the Presse as we come to the Field seldome This Tree of Guls was planted long since but not taking roote could neuer beare till now It hath a relish of Grobianisme and tastes very strongly of it in the beginning The reason thereof is that hauing translated many Bookes of that into English Verse and not greatly liking the Subiect I altred the Shape and of a Dutchman fashioned a meere Englishman it is a Table wherein are drawne sundry Pictures the callors are fresh if they bee well laid on I thinke my workmanship well bestowed if ill so much the better because I draw the pictures onely of Guls. T. D. The Chapters contained in this Booke CHAP 1. The old world and the new weighed together The Tailors of those times and these compared The apparel diet of our first fathers CHAP. 2. How a yong Gallant shall not onely keep his Clothes which many of them can hardly do from Brokers but also haue the charges of taking physick with other rules for the morning The praise of sleep and of going naked CHAP. 3. How a Gallant should warme himselfe by the fire How attire himselfe Description of a mans head The praise of long haire CHAP. 4. How a Gallant should behaue himselfe in Powles-Walkes CHAP. 5. How a Gallant should behaue himselfe in an Ordinary CHAP. 6. How a Gallant should behaue himselfe in a Play-house CHAP. 7. How a Gallant should behaue himselfe in a Tauerne CHAP. 8. How a Gallant is to behaue himselfe passing through the Cittie at all houres of the night and how to passe by any Watch. The Guls Horn-booke OR Fashions to please all sorts of Guls. Prâ—aemium I Sing like the Cuckooe in Iune to bée laught at if therefore I make a scuruy noise and that my tunes sound vnmusically the Ditty being altogether lame in respect of the bad féete and vnhansome in regard of the worme-eaten fashion you that haue authority vnder the broad seale of mouldy custom to be called the Gentle Audience set your goodly great hands to my pardon or else because I scorne to be vpbraided that I professe to instruct others in an Art whereof I my selfe am ignorant Doe your worst chuse whether you will let my notes haue you by the eares or no hisse or giue plaudities I care not a nut-shell which of either you can neither shake our Comick Theater with your stinking breath of hisses nor raise it w t the thunder claps of your hands vp it goes in Despetto del fato y e motley is bought a coat with foure elbowes for any one that will weare it is put to making in defiance of the seuen wise maisters for I haue smelt out of the musty shéetes of an old Almanacke that at one time or other euen he that iets vpon the neatest and sprucest leather euen he that talkes all Adage Apothegme even he that will not haue a wrinckle in his new Satten suit though his mind be vglier then his face and his face so ill fauoredly made that he lookes at all times as if a tooth-drawer were fumbling about his gommes with a thousand lame Heteroclites more that cozen the world with a guilt spurre and a ruffled boote will be all glad to fit themselues in Will Sommeâ— his wardrob and be driuen like a Flemish Hoy in foule weather to slip into our Schoole and take out a lesson Tush Caelum pâ—timus stultitia all that are chosen Cunstables for their wit go not to heauen A fig therefore for the new found Colledge of Criticks You Courtiers that do nothing but sing the Gamuth-Are of complementall courtesie and at the rusticall behauiour of our Countrie Muse will skrew forth worse faces then those which God and the Painter has bestowed vpon you I defie your perfumd scorne and vow to poyson your Muske cats if their ciuet excrement doe but once play with my nose You ordinary Gulles that through a poore and silly ambition to be thought you inherit the reuenues of extraordinary wit will spend your shallow censure vpon the most elaborate Poeme so lauishly that all the painted table-men about you take you to be heires apparant to rich Midasle that had more skill in Alchimy then Kelly with the Phylosophers stone for all that he could lay his fingers on turned into heaten gold dry Tobacco with my leaues you good dry brained Polipragmonists till your pipe offices smoake with your pittifully stinking girds shot out against me I coniure you as you come of the right Goose-caps staine not your house but when at a new play you take vp the twelue-penny roome next the stage because the Lords you may seeme to be haile fellow wel met there draw forth this booke read alowd laugh alowd and play the Antickes that all the garlike mouthd stinkards may cry out Away with the Foole As for thée Zoylus goe hang thy selfe and for thée Momus chew nothing but hemlock spit nothing but the sirrup of Aloes vpon my papers till thy very rotten lungs come forth for anger I am Snake-proofe and though with Hanniball you bring whole hogs-heads of vinegar railings it is impossible for you to quench or come ouer my Alpine-resolution I will saile boldly and desperately alongst the shore of y e I le of Guls in defiance of those terrible blockhouses their loggerheads make a true discouery of their wild yet habitable Country Sound an