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ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
B04342	News from Parnassus, in the abstracts and contents of three crown'd chronicles, relating to the three kingdoms of England, Scotland and Ireland. In a poem, divided into two parts : first, to the king, secondly, to the subjects of the said three kingdoms. Dedicated to His Majesty. / By a servant to Mars, and a lover of the muses, William Mercer.	Mercer, William, 1605?-1675?	1682 (1682)	Wing M1740; ESTC R180533	40,838	104

I go on as all are ranked there For lo that piece I to the Ark compare Which Noah built wherein I think to save Such Righteous persons as I shall receive Upon Repentance finding of them free And them admit within the Ark with me But Noah had command to make the Ark Three hundred cubits long albe't that Bark Must bear a burden only but of eight And all not faithful neither such a fraight Might so be sav'd and here it is even so Just and unjust all generally do go Within my Ark which being open'd once And all call'd out 't will be but as a Sconce Compos'd of Paper not of Planks and power So slight a Ship might sink in such a shower In cruel cases men may make conform Both Bark and Fly-boat to withstand the storm So as my Ark at Anchor doth prove nice My Fly-boat puts Fools in a Paradise For if some few when they are call'd can stand By Faith as firm as they were on the Land So that the Waters were not their reward Yet when at Court they come to play their Card They may mistake I do not say they shall Though some's in danger for to fetch a fall For when so many did my Bark abuse I fram'd this Fly-Boat and shall not refuse To save some in 't as I in duty stand Though not presuming I can purge the Land As did St Patrick who though purging Vermine To put the spawn in people did not determine Or not that all are ill though many may For in the general I have such to say That as the Angels were created good And so might in that Heavenly station stood Yet fell and for no other reason neither But that they fell as they affected rather Even so shall many in their place appear Fallen from their first love too too many here Cathedral Saints I do not now single any Chur●● men But rich and poor all men must answer when I Call by their Names the Prophet and the Priest Both are in danger of one days arrest Unless the people plainly make appear That they read prayers precisely once a year The big Book duly doth demonstrate all The famous Fathers Apostolical Whence one of twelve was once found false before But out of twelve I now name half a score Then for our Judges I go evenly on Judg● Comparing some to Homer's Sarpedon And in the big Book I do clear the case Compares with Pompey and Aristides Some Judges Justness here I tell you that Moses and Joshua's Justice imitate Though they are dead their deeds live nevertheless Good mens perfections death doth not suppress And in my Book albe't he be removed I point at one so for his Law beloved Not only Law but to disparage none Equal in all things unto Sarpedon ●ustice in Judges ought as they survive Each one th' other t' appear superlative Pindarus Plato Cicero did say Of Justice as good Judges do to day And as Theog●nes gives it us in Greek Take it in Latin lest the thing you seek ●ustitia in sese virtutes continet omnes Even so as knowledge is on me conferr'd To tell the Truth my Tongue being not deterr'd 〈◊〉 do repeat the prudence then of those Examining when parties do oppose Each one the other and that make report Doctors Impartially in presence of the Court And all surrounding every Bench a bit I lay before them for to bite on it Physicians that put poison in the Pill Physicians and such as profess I pay them Fees according to their Skill And those that have both skill and kindness too As they deserve accordingly I do Hippocrates I challenge not for cheats He fills the Files with well advis'd Receipts Galen hath Gard'ners gathering Herbs I grant Apothecaries Pliny's supplying every place with Plants Now those that plead and such as play the Knave If they themselves by Sophistry can save Then be it so much is made out by Art Howe're it is my Pen must play its part Some Clerks and some the Terms tongue-turn'd Attorneys Talking to them makes merry on my Journeys There is one well-cover'd with a Gown ingrain'd Of base black dye with stinking Coffee stain'd Anagram O Base Cret'r ' I. In these few words his Name 's anatomiz'd And Answers to it since he was Baptiz'd All in which big Book brightly will appear In small Eclipses things are not seen clear I try all Trades though some past Prenticeship Playing the Knave such I severely whip Some take up Trades and some untaught Attorney Turns Lawyer but by taking of a Journey To Lon●●● I strive to take such untrain'd Trades-mens Tools Send such Mock-Lawyers back again to Schools Not cherishing of Cheaters but at large My Chronicle casheers them from their charge But O alas one thing 's like to be lost His Majesties Omissioners almost And yet I do not draw so deep a Debter My big Book bears them in a larger Letter Though herein happens one mistake in me I do neglect that great Character C I should say Co when O came in the way But now I think them both are best to say Saint Paul you know he saith and sealeth it The good he would the ill he will commit But they I see in both are Righteous rather Omit and Commit fully for their Father Do as the Scots said rightly understood The Souldiers swore they came for all their good But here is no such daubing now adays Whate're is call'd for ev'ry one obeys No man gets wrong but of the toys they bring Take some themselves the rest goes to the King God's good unto them therefore every hour Floods on the Farmers favours freely pour Many poor Merchants travel every Tyde And give what they can rap and run beside They 'r good to all fetch when you can tell what Be what it will they 'll take it what fault 's that They cannot all fair Promises perform For fear their Fortunes fail them in a storm 〈◊〉 would not wrong the Kings Omissioners More than the Priests wrong poor Parishoners Albe't I wrong them in one Letter lo 〈◊〉 would not wrong them too much no no no 〈◊〉 favour Farmers they shall find so when They come my Three-crown'd Chronicle to scan This thing 's so secret few know what I do The t' other tells both Name and Title too Nor do I only those in Commission scan Now there but every individual man Since first in fashion the King confirm'd a Farm To praise one not another may do harm Wherefore at best I 'll throw this Bauble by Because the big Book brings Authority And press no more great Sir but let you see So many Authors are assisting me To make things out both Heathenish and Heav'nly All their inventions ev'ry one as ev'nly As all the Arts and Sciences I think Could write were all the Purple Ocean Ink Here are their Names no man knows more than I And I 'll repeat them to your

may rout them rather Only Demetrius though indeed I dare Affirm your faults his to exceed by far Who suffer'd and such sorrows so endures For one offence which will not weigh with yours Look Plutarch's Lives Demetrius liv'd at least Full three years out a slave eat as a Beast But for one fault which yours would weigh down now Yet it Demetrius merits did undo He brake his word but once with friends when lo You brake with me from time to time you know I 'll not apply but this I may profess God did that then and now may do no less If you repent not Money make you what You cannot know as blind as is a Bat Come put your part then in the Scotch-man's Cap Pull out your lot look what you have by hap And if this Fly-boat press to put you to 't Prevent the Plot before the Ark goes out Mean time This is most meet to recommend to you Since you desire no good at all to do Be careful to become a Subject thrall When lucre can as sure ensue withal Which doing doubtless whensoe'r you 're dead Upon your Urn this Rhime then they shall read This Wretch I vow was worth no words of Art At all within his Epitaph to impart But words to draw in draughts that are not dim That men may run read and remember him The words I vow shall be but short however Such true words were not seen nor now nor never Put to continue on Record because I 'm always careful for to keep the Laws The words indeed are no less sweet than short Themselves I hope will see me feasted for 't For whom I speak of but I chew but chaff Pray passenger peruse the Epitaph Which I intend to tell in terms that 's true Or Sacrifice my self I swear to you Epitaph Alas lo here lyes one by Nature's Law Whose Second sure or such you never saw He rather suffer'd faithful Friends to fail Than spare the poorest pairing of his nail And then those Bags too big for him to bear He left for them that laught to lay him here But here he lyes believ 't both Beef and Bone Albe't I brag not where his Ghost is gone Weigh what I write I to my Prince appeal Who soon can see corrupt men cast the Scale Traytors are true that to themselves take all But question'd can from their profession fall For when some Subjects find their tricks detect The King will know my Chronicle collect Their cunning Knav'ries wherein when they are taken As Bullrushes they will with Wind be shaken This Abstract needs employ no Oedipus Things to interpret it self renders thus Truly to Readers till with Hue and Cry My Chronicles come that knows not how to lye None do deny Reader Volumes in Verse I with the World do venture But you may think that I in anger enter Because I come with Ovid's very Vae O Ingenio perii qui miser ipse meo But I dare do so for this furious why Contest with you whose carriage makes me cry Ovid was made too for his gift no gainer No more am I whose Verses are not vainer But to compare I know proceeds of Pride As Beggars be when they are rais'd to ride Ovid was also in prison put for verse And so may I because my skill is scarce But I forbear my Pen's pluckt from an Owl And I 'm correct because I crept from School Where had I studied still for all I know My Verses would have weigh'd with Ovid's O. But I have promis'd not for to compare With Ovid nor with any but take care For though I say I shall compare with none I may with many that are dead and gone I mean I may compare with men opprest In many points one grain is not transgrest Most men compare take therefore this of me My Pen proclaims that very few are free Especially Poets compare in Poverties Though they disdain some in their Eminencies More men than I are for their Wit envy'd As by the Touch-stone shall be truly try'd I never acted any ill to any Though now my Muse is medling with too many My Chronicle doth these three Kingdoms scan With no more force but what my Feathers fan But howsoever men must me correct Not caring though my fancies they infect They do postpone me when preferments fall Keep officers off Here are no Wars at all Or if Mars march and stout men should be chas't Hands helping not quick Feet defend as fast For my part I my duties daily do Being almost ended I shall tell you too Follow what will I am resolv'd to render Some Rhimes to Caesar though they should seem slender And if they do so sure I shall not lye They may seem serious in my Soveraigns Eye Wherefore upon such ticklish terms I stand Prevents my Prince it not my Pate's trepann'd Memorandum These Fortunes fall on those that most do merit The bravest brains the basest lives inherit As by these following four examples here I shew you how false Fortune doth appear 1. Bees suck the blossoms but we have the Honey 2. Poor men dig Mines rich men have the Money 3. Sheep furnish Fleeces and we wear the Wool 4. Wise-men plant Vines the Grapes go with the Fool. Now notwithstanding all these moral matters Whereof my Rhimes are real right relaters Which make men proud the Female Sexes swell And fail even as those fatal fancies fall The fair Rose fades and so flyes youth away It grows and blows it 's Beauty in one day So upstart honour and from whence it flows Ill purchas'd pelf how soon pull'd down who knows Take notice then and shun not wise advice Nor run too rashly on such slip'ry Ice Bought by so dear a a price I the Author on my self and to my self In Sonnets Because that no man praises me I 'll praise my self now you shall see Two ways one is by Comparing Th' other Patience being so sparing And though mens praises first are Penn'd I put my own praise at the end First Sonnet I Mercer though my skill be scarce Compare with Maro making Verse Tell too my tattling is not Treason Though it be not good Rhime nor Reason And says my News now from Parnass Do let few faulty persons pass Second Sonnet Comparisons to bring abuse are bent But these ensuing seem to give consent For when wise Maro Penn'd Mecoenas praise He took not pains as Mercer making these Then Mercer's merits may with Maro's Muse Compare in this few men may that refuse Maro prais'd one and for his praise was paid Mercer to Millions praises hath display'd In rich Encomiums and hath undergone Like Mars and Maro both combin'd in one For to defend what he hath Penn'd by word Affirming he will sign it with a Sword So Mercer may to purchase modest praise Compare with Maro in composing these Then for which praise to make his Pen repine Were not praise-worthy saith Saint Augustine Third Sonnet Having plainly spoke to ev'ry Paroch people I 'll Ring and Sing this Sonnet from the Steeple Even as the Priest when he hath mention'd Mass Unto the people proclaims and crys alas Remits all sins but one which sin remains And must till they have paid him for his pains So now when I do most mens faults set forth Cry out and call their Consciences scarce worth One wink because my Chronicle proclaims All mens unkindness but conceals their names Waiting with patience till that they repay My pains and then I pardon them that day If not themselves and all the heaps they handle Are cruelly curst both with Bell Book and Candle As unto many I have Musick made So to my self these Sonnets now are said As Martial says so may my Muse in jest Lasciva est nobis pagina vita proba est My fancy 's free for though I herein hault I censure few but whom I find in fault It always has been lawful and will be To speak of Vice but let the name go free Which Law my fancy for a while fulfils Within this abstract but my Chronicles Set both the Title and the Sur-name too Which I'm in pains both night and day to do If any carping Critick now Should scoff in any School One Verse that I have written I vow I 'll Chronicle him a Fool But I believe if he look at The point in every place He 'll view that I have vented what Will quash them in the case A Farewel Sonnet Twice twenty Terms and almost every hour I tyr'd my Pen employing of my power To prove these Poems then in all I say No Learning lyes though on the points I play The Latin I do grant by guess I got Cannot well tell if it be true or not I bruis'd my brains dare not deny indeed But in my haste I have broke Priscian's head I play'd my part can now not labour longer And am afraid some hang themselves in anger This Pamphlet I of purpose publish cheaper My big Book 's nigh nine hundred sheets of Paper In short beside so many motions made This Sonnet says now no more shall be said FINIS

Majesty Divine and Moral some that knew not God But gave good Counsel was not that then odd Aristotle and Plato I have Cato too Socrates and all Diogenes could do Themistocles and Solon I have ev'n so The Romans General Generous Scipio Demosthenes his Answer to Epimites I spoke with Plutarch and Aristides I tell you also of Emelius Apelles Painting what will that avail us And I have catched Counsel too of Titus I also saw Egesilaus meet us Anaxagoras Periander I saw Zeno Pythagoras opinion spake with pain O Menander and Caligula and lo Domitian and Hippocrates also Lycurgus and Xenocrates and such And talked to Epictetus as much Xenophanes call'd Coward scarcely knockt Perseue lending his Money he was mockt Hesiodus his Precepts understood Agathocles a Potters Son not proud A King Darius and Artaxerxes with one score I yet could count but I will name no more But only three who I report for Pride Though here are thousands such as they beside Dioclesian the Emperour he was one Herod Agrippa another now I 'm gone But Titus Flaminius takes it as a wonder That I omit him therefore comes he under All these are Authors in my Chronicle Comparing men unto them good or ill I stay not now their Vertues to rehearse Nor will I put their praises here in Verse But every Subject let them fawn or frown As they deserve lo I have set them down By wise advice and by whose cunning skill Your Majesty may know my Chronicle Is compos'd now on another task I intrude Comparing some to Tutors too as rude Twelve famous Fathers Soveraign Sir consider What pains I past comparing them together Who to themselves can best the attribute Apply as to their knowledge they them suit But I alledge when in the Scales they come They will down-weigh I well may wager some Because they do their base debauch'dness bear Almost as much as any named now here Who though they be here only but eleven I do not doubt to draw the dozen even So I begin and in their greatness greet 'um But in the big Book like a man I meet ' um 1. Caligula is common in the case 2. Tiberius comes in with a flaming face 3. Nero is never very far to find 4. Heliogabalus hath a vicious mind 5. As Alexander men are most malicious And I aver all men almost are vicious 6. Cyrus is sly at Court and catching still 7. Vlysses likewise with his Wit doth ill 8. Mydas is mighty covetous you know 9. Hannibal's a crafty Knave ev'n so 10. Zopyrus hath in base dissembling skill 11. And Aristippus will be flattering still Now doubtless I dare out the dozen do 12. For I am sure here is a Judas too But I forbear until my big Book come Where on the Margin I have marked some I help the Heraulds when I 'm brisk about 'um Blazing their Arms but better be without 'um Yet it were ill all were alike for lo Parcite paucorum Diffundere crimen you know But since I in my Arithmetick move My Pen must more upon the point improve I search in Secrets which unlookt on lye Impeaching persons that aspire too high I speak of Pride the only evil even Why Angels were so hurl'd out of Heaven Envy I own the justest ill of all It kills it self to cause its father fall Of Straits and Trenches whom some call contriver The Chronicle that Doctrine doth deliver I talk of Traytors and I touch the Treason But Solomon for things assigns a season And I forbear allowing you to look Where you shall see abundance in the Book Only I bring albeit I be forbid The thing in sight the Lacedaemons did But I 'm afraid my Muse may be abhorr'd Or call'd a Fool for what she doth afford Affecting to be found a Fool in Verse Rather than call me Knave upon my Hearse Of Government I grant I give a touch But meddle not with Governours too much Because St. Paul bids us that block forbear And I must also seem so godly here Lift Hands and Eyes and bid the poor go pray But of such things see what St. James doth say And I do tell some tokens time and place How that the Romans rul'd in such a Case And they did rule and over-rule indeed In all Dominions through the World we read I scan the cause Great Britain bore abuse How Ireland felt the effect who will refuse I point at persons whom I fear foment Make Memorandums how we may prevent I could speak plain but should I so appear Though now I 'm safe it puts me in a fear Whenever my big Book shall be seen abroad I find such Friends as good Sir Edmund God But of the Romans what I said before Is true and I can add too on the score When Government to any one was given All old adherents that same day were driven Hence at great distance as was done of late At our Vice-gerents general debate Which of the two would touch us to the quick The Covenanter or Roman Catholick What was concluded must not with my will Come here but hazards in my Chronicle But Royal Sir by what is here I hope Your Majesty may soon conceive the scope 〈◊〉 this Complaint and that it clearly comes 〈◊〉 those before the Battel beating Drums 〈◊〉 bid alarms albe't I be the man ●hat fetches fewel and the fire do fan 〈◊〉 warm my self Sir yet a King doth know When Coals are cover'd one blast of Wind may blow ●eing as 't were the Watch-word to awaken ●ecure men sleeping thousands nigh forsaken ●orgive me then most Sacred Sir to show Without offence things that I cannot know ●learly concluded because I 'm none of them ●●ployed in private for to play the game 〈◊〉 lookers on though seeming in a Trance 〈◊〉 see as much as those that play perchance ●specially a person not imploy'd When Tempests threaten lest he be destroy'd ●ooks to himself and sees whereat they aim ●nd then in Conscience must the Cause proclaim 〈◊〉 Sentinel Perdu to defend the shot 〈◊〉 such as sleep but never get one Groat ●he Chronicle of all these Plots complain 〈◊〉 Prose and Verse But and every word in vain 〈◊〉 have not had no not in thirty years ●ore than Good morrow as it plain appears 〈◊〉 all that 's said serv'd suffer'd sure I think 〈◊〉 I lay sick they 'd give me Gall to drink ●ut though such things to our Creator cry ●he present issue 's in your Majesty 〈◊〉 pain to ponder and comparing it ●ive what my Soveraign finds for present fit ●nd for the future from such Sacred Throne 〈◊〉 end the Ark appoint a Pension ●hould it be small nine hundred sheets now nigh 〈◊〉 put to press whenever th' Author dye 〈◊〉 I am pleas'd this instant hour to Print ●he Piece wherein though here I only hint I publish all I cannot Cheaters cherish Fight for it too and if I perish perish The Chronicle consisting as I say Of bulk so

in your Eye But if you will not wink at that Cry out then what care I 16. My Book 's the bit whereat you bite Though things lye therein lockt Have ye cast off your Courage quite To cry before you 'r knockt 17. Will you be as the full-fed Fish Snap at the shining Hook And then content to have that Dish Call'd up for from the Cook 18. Will that within your mouth be meat Or help your hungry maw You cannot any of it eat It is not from the raw 19. Fall how it will or well or worse I care not how it come Since you for me had no remorse I 'll make you pay the summ 20. The only Anchor easing me I 'm not opprest by pelf Nor am I so incenst to see The Parliament it self 21. But having wasted all the Ware Which Ovid made to move her Excuse me overcome with care The Crumbs for to recover 22. To shew our Soveraign Lord at last In lines of Lamentation The many passages that past To 's Majesties admiration 23. But since I on no name now call Nor clears it though I can Frown not lest your own Pride spoil all So make your self the man 24. Which if What can ye then expect Such works of darkness do Dan. 5. 2● But when your Carcase is correct A Mene Tekel too 25. A finger writing on the Wall O Fool for all thy Feast Luke 12. 20 2● This night thy self thy Soul and all Shall trot to Hell in haste 26. These sayings are united now To give the more contents It is not that I talks to you But both the Testaments 27. Who then can get those great degrees To him due do you think When Princes creeping on their knees Brought Baltshazzer Bowls to drink 28. Though now he 's on another score So soon such mercies miss To day his Dignities adore Then at his honours hiss ●9 But better born a lower Sail When Boreas blew so high ●or Fortunes frown can cast the Scale On others as on I. ●0 Now he that thinks me too severe Or too censorious either 〈◊〉 tell him as a friend what 's fair Let him say nothing rather No spite to speak plain prompts my Muse Though on no change they chuse me ●ut to tell truth in Terms abstruse My Conscience could accuse me And make my Friends refuse me St. Augustine said Hiems Horrens Aestas torrens Virent prata vernant Sata ●hese Notes now that are here annext More Moral than Divine 〈◊〉 only take them for my Text Words of St. Augustine A Paraphrase upon the Words ●●ght Souls were once within the Ark And all not righteous neither ●●ght thousand Bodies in this Bark Which I have raised rather ●hough all whence I have busied been Within the same I say 〈◊〉 Sympathy shall not be seen As in these Lines I lay 〈◊〉 eight or four emphatick words The seasons of the Year In which such Concordance accords As hereby doth appear The cold concurs with scorching heat Meadows grow green you see Corn carry'd home made up to eat All things but men agree Wherefore my Muse shall move no more Such sores expect no Plaisters But say as I have thought before I serve unthankful Masters Throughout three Kingdoms ev'n to all I send my Jests in general Sonnet My foresaid fancies in effect Must suffer censure I suspect Though at no Innocents I aim My Chronicle can Knaves proclaim So Friends may my Reflections fear As much as Foes where faults appear And if you say my Books abuse you And fight with me I 'll not refuse you For lines do link conceits so on it They constitute a serious Sonnet Nothing ill spoken if not ill taken The words themselves will you awaken Whose Emblems blazon my defence Honi soit qui Mal y pense The piece whereof I so much speak At Anchor lyes by London Where Passengers by Sea fell sick Of sixty not a sound one ●ut in this same Epitome As safe as on the shore Though thousands drown some shall go dry Or never trust me more The Argument 〈◊〉 the Author of the Ark ●all I rather say the Bark 〈◊〉 this Fly-boat one or another 〈◊〉 you were my first-born Brother ●nd so faithless not befriend me ●hese fancies following will defend me 〈◊〉 this strict Abstract moves you less or more 〈◊〉 is a token something toucht the sore ●nd that assoon as e're the Book that bears ●he Burthens out we will be by the Ears ●nless the Lesson Ovid's Art doth urge ●rincipiis obsta prove a perfect purge ●ill then the Epitome of that good mans life Sustine and Abstine ●pictetus can only end the strife ●ear and forbear first bear a bit with me ●nd then forbear so bad a Friend to be ●owe're could malice tye my Tongue in Tophet ●nce more I tell you I may prove a Prophet 〈◊〉 tell much truth though under waves I write ●ut my Creator can my Cause requite 〈◊〉 blow on me but better buffet them ●hat Pen lampoons for publishing your shame ●ampoons put Bells upon the Ladies Beagles ●aid in their Laps then with the Wings of Eagles ●hey range abroad but these are not as those My Rhimes as yet remain under the Rose ●hough Beagles black spots will neither wash nor wither 〈◊〉 modest Muse may many secrets smother Volumes of Verses wasted all in vain On persons so polluted and profane Who though they are not mentioned in these Verses Dye when they will that day I 'll deck their Herses Their sins are such most part indeed outdo Both Sodom and Gomorrha's motions too I have recorded as I could collect But fail'd in my performance I suspect I enter Item you are owing that And Item also you remember what Then waving words I cast my Cyphers so That I can make up Millions with an O Add O to O and yet with all the O's Cannot the half of all the Debts disclose They owe and so shall leave them in Arrear Until my Chronicle all Accounts make clear Their Gold 's their God they trust but I trust to The God of Shadrach Meshech and Abednego Seria mixta Jocis Scotland and Ireland's Constitutions Dispositions and Resolutions SCotland keeps all within it self and say They 'r bound in Conscience for the King to pray But give no money Ireland's even as ill For there the King gets as much with their will Scotland's an ancient Kingdome that 's well known The King and all that 's in it is their own And yet gets nothing But the Generous Jester Lord Forbes in Scotland his Fidler ●enkins you know being merry with his Master Said if your own must fast when others feast Devil be your own said Jenkins in a Jest But in the big Book I disburse things better Which till it comes the King knows not his debtor And extant once his Majesty makes bold By new Collectors to call off the old Seeing none that 's in it that 's a a certain thing

my talking this The Danish Dames no man dare kiss In Complement before another Ladies only embrace their Brother But that being past should I been drown'd I swam in Shallops on the Sound Till I arriv'd at Copenhagen Where I did venture in a Waggon Though soon began to go afoot For want of one thing made me do 't I travell'd still from Town to Town Two days together ne'r sat down Where Pompey past in pomp and pride I ran could have no Horse to ride Armenia Media and Cilicia Came capering to Cappadocia A hundred houses I would wonder So poor I could pick up no plunder I wander'd where I knew not how But where I saw much more than you And through all Germany did justle Sometimes so wanton I would whistle Then I resolv'd I would go over If I should swim and drink in Dover So I came capering to Kent Next day lo I to London went Where I had much Command being horst A Captain first * 1642. that was the worst Then how I prosper'd if you please To prove I past through all degrees In Ireland now I 'll write one wonder How I have past the Pikes by plunder Bore never Arms there nevertheless Yet you shall see how Devils me dress Though I in Ireland never won ought Four hundred Knaves came out of Connaught And in my absence in an hour Stript Wife and Children did devour All things I had without within Left nothing but the naked skin My Trunks and all therein extorted And in an instant all transported A punishment perpetual Came home unto a hungry Hall My Wife and Children all did dye And left me in extremity Nor was it in a time of War But quietness as now we are Think you then since I was destroy'd So here I should be here imploy'd But being not lo I perceived How wickedly the World was waved And for the King compos'd a Book Wherein his Majesty may look And see things never seen before I hope I need not name them more But all such sorrows suffer'd I Then turn'd my Pen to Poetry Till I could tell you this and that In words that you would wonder at But if you please I shall suspend My pratling now and make an end For Rhiming proves not worth a Rush But Wind that 's blowing in a Bush Though as they say if things so fall Some blows may blow us over the Wall By such Oppressions I may speed So said the Prodigal indeed Periissem nisi periissem now No doubt he knew then what to do He also said as I collect 'um Vexatio dat Intellectum And I may speed as some suspect For this same Distich 't is so direct Remembring Ovid's well-read Rhime Principiis obsta now is the time But I speak humbly to my Prince For words few others will convince Envy with Ease Pride Power and Pelf Make men take most upon themself But all that 's here is but by wording My big Book brings a better burden There what I wrote I vow'd to do In promise and performance too But what remains must rest upon A mental Reservation But I again am gone amiss So prays you in Parenthesis To pardon me till I have wrote Some Towns by chance I have forgot From Amsterdam to Rotterdam I cannot tell well whence I came But two Towns more I 'll tell to you And then I have not much to do Hamburg is one Antwerp another Then I came home to meet my Mother The Second Part. Now if some things are here misplac't Receive two reasons Sick and Haste Though not so sick nor hasty neither To spoil my Foe nor spare my Father Be how it will please you to read I 'll give you all these when I 'm dead For you deserve no less at least Than feed a while upon my Feast Proceed then and consider why I leave you such a Legacy Delivering likewise no stoln story But very real Inventory Of all my Goods and Chattels too And every thing I thought to do Where I have been what I have seen And what fell often out between I tell my Crosses and my Losses My to 's and fro's and twenty tosses At every bait I bite a bit But all the holes I cannot hit Some points I press as Prophecy Which men may feel before they dye How these that boast now of their bravery Shall suffer and be seen in slavery For though what herein I have hinted Appear as Dreams till they be Printed But wise mens Wills are prov'd by Proby If my necessity should so be Be how it will take notice now By Pen or Print I 'll punish you Your self shall judge in Justice I Do deal with Knaves accordingly All that I say and do indeed May come to pass I pray take heed May prove a day of Doom to many And to your self assoon as any I say your self whoe're you be But means of more than two or three And so my Soul I give to God I know my Carcass but a clod Being sure my Dictates if I dye Deserve thanks of his Majesty For notwithstanding Testament Words wishes and a long complaint That attribute that doth belong To God I 'll imitate if not wrong By it being bound to wait on God Who 's long before he brings the Rod As by these following words I vow Which may fall heavy upon you Ad poenam tardus Deus est praemia velox Sed pensare solet vi graviore Moram I 'm so manured so plow'd and puzzl'd Much worse than any one that 's muzzl'd My Crosses and my Melancholy Make me write Rhimes religiously As doth appear by these you read Albe't they are not mine indeed Perpetua impietas nec mensae tempore cessat Exagitat vesana quies somnique furentes Neither at Bed nor yet at Board Will great despair small rest afford Now those these touch not to the quick With me will not a quarrel pick. Or if they do I dare defend And doubts not some may condescend But lest you say I run in rage I 'll end this purpose on this page And so shall put no more upon it But end my sorrow with a Sonnet A Sonnet My Testament consists of two Parts my false Friends I 'll tell you how First day I fell fast in a Feaver Sweating as swimming in a River Where all things not in order are Though not from purpose very far But then the next day you may find I had a well composed mind My Tongue could tattle tales in Latin As Priests can mumble mornings Mattin For whatsoever's in the end Both Rhime and Reason I 'll defend Say what you will or no or I If you refuse truth Friend you lye Howe're I 'll add no more now on it But give you time to sing this Sonnet I 'm sure now had you suffer'd such as I And by bad carriage been constrain'd to cry You would not stay to make the matter Metre Though mine be bad yours might be scarce compleat●●