AMENDMENTS OF Mr. COLLIER ' s False and Imperfect CITATIONS c. From the OLD BATCHELOUR DOUBLE DEALER LOVE for LOVE MOURNING BRIDE By the Author of those Plays Quem recitas meus est ô Fidentine Libellus Sed male dum recitas incipit esse tuus Mart. Graviter iniquo animo maledicta tua paterer si te scirem Iudicio magis quam morbo animi petulantia ista uti Sed quoniam in te neque modum neque modestiam ullam animadverto respondebo tibi uti si quam maledicendo voluptatem cepisti eam male-audiendo amittas Salust Decl. LONDON Printed for I. Tonson at the Iudge's-Head in Fleet street near the Inner-Temple-Gate 1698. ERRATA Page 7. line 23. for worst read worse p. 105. l. 13. read Pantomimes p. 107. l. 3. r. Cynetha AMENDMENTS OF Mr. COLLIER ' s False and Imperfect CITATIONS c. I Have been told by some That they should think me very idle if I threw away any time in taking notice ev'n of so much of Mr. Collier's late Treatise of the Immorality c. of the English Stage as related to my self in respect of some Plays written by me For that his malicious and strain'd Interpretations of my Words were so gross and palpable that any indifferent and unprejudic'd Reader would immediately condemn him upon his own Evidence and acquit me before I could make my Defence On the other hand I have been tax'd of Laziness and too much Security in neglecting thus long to do my self a necessary Right which might be effected with so very little Pains since very little more is requisite in my Vindication than to represent truly and at length those Passages which Mr. Collier has shewn imperfectly and for the most part by halves I would rather be thought Idle than Lazy and so the last Advice prevail'd with me I have no Intention to examine all the Absurdities and Falshoods in Mr. Collier's Book to use the Gentleman 's own Metaphor in his Preface An Inventory of such a Ware-house would be a large Work My Detection of his Malice and Ignorance of his Sophistry and vast Assurance will lie within a narrow Compass and only bear a Proportion to so much of his Book as concerns my self Least of all would I undertake to defend the Corruptions of the Stage indeed if I were so inclin'd Mr. Collier has given me no occasion for the greater part of those Examples which he has produc'd are only Demonstrations of his own Impurity they only savour of his Utterance and were sweet enough till tainted by his Breath I will not justifie any of my own Errors I am sensible of many and if Mr. Collier has by any Accident stumbled on one or two I will freely give them up to him Nullum unquam ingenium placuit sine venia But I hope I have done nothing that can deprive me of the Benefit of my Clergy and tho' Mr. Collier himself were the Ordinary I may hope to be acquitted My Intention therefore is to do little else but to restore those Passages to their primitive Station which have suffer'd so much in being transplanted by him I will remove 'em from his Dunghil and replant 'em in the Field of Nature and when I have wash'd 'em of that Filth which they have contracted in passing thro' his very dirty hands let their own Innocence protect them Mr. Collier in the high Vigour of his Obscenity first commits a Rape upon my Words and then arraigns 'em of Immodesty he has Barbarity enough to accuse the very Virgins that he has deflowr'd and to make sure of their Condemnation he has himself made 'em guilty But he forgets that while he publishes their shame he divulges his own His Artifice to make Words guilty of Profaness is of the same nature for where the Expression is unblameable in its own clear and genuine Signification he enters into it himself like the evil Spirit he possesses the innocent Phrase and makes it bellow forth his own Blasphemies so that one would think the Muse was Legion To reprimand him a little in his own Words if these Passages produc'd by Mr. Collier are obscene and profane Why were they rak'd in and disturb'd unless it were to conjure up Vice and revive Impurities Indeed Mr. Collier has a very untoward way with him his Pen has such a Libertine Stroke that 't is a question whether the Practice or the Reproof be the more licentious He teaches those Vices he would correct and writes more like a Pimp than a P Since the business must be undertaken why was not the Thought blanch'd the Expression made remote and the ill Features cast into Shadows So far from this which is his own Instruction in his own words is Mr. Collier's way of Proceeding that he has blackned the Thoughts with his own Smut the Expression that was remote he has brought nearer and lest by being brought near its native Innocence might be more visible he has frequently varied it he has new-molded it and stamp'd his own Image on it so that it at length is become Current Deformity and fit to be paid into the Devil's Exchequer I will therefore take the Liberty to exorcise this evil Spirit and whip him out of my Plays where-ever I can meet with him Mr. Collier has revers'd the Story which he relates from Tertullian and after his Visitation of the Play-house returns having left the Devil behind him If I do not return his Civilities in calling him Names it is because I am not very well vers'd in his Nomenclatures therefore for his Foot pads which he calls us in his Preface and for his Buffoons and Slaves in the Saturnalia which he frequently bestows on us in the rest of his Book I will onely call him Mr. Collier and that I will call him as often as I think he shall deserve it Before I proceed for methods sake I must premise some few things to the Reader which if he thinks in his Conscience are too much to be granted me I desire he would proceed no further in his Perusal of these Animadversions but return to Mr. Collier's Short View c. First I desire that I may lay down Aristotle's Definition of Comedy which has been the Compass by which all the Comick Poets since his time have steer'd their Course I mean them whom Mr. Collier so very frequently calls Comedians for the Distinction between Comicus and Comaedus and Tragicus and Tragaedus is what he has not met with in the long Progress of his Reading Comedy says Aristotle is an Imitation of the worst sort of People 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 imitatio pejorum He does not mean the worse sort of People in respect to their Quality but in respect to their Manners This is plain from his telling you immediately after that he does not mean 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 relating to all kinds of Vice there are Crimes too daring and too horrid for Comedy But
the Vices most frequent and which are the common Practice of the looser sort of Livers are the subject Matter of Comedy He tells us farther that they must be exposed after a ridiculous manner For Men are to be laugh'd out of their Vices in Comedy the Business of Comedy is to delight as well as to instruct And as vicious People are made asham'd of their Follies or Faults by seeing them expos'd in a ridiculous manner so are good People at once both warn'd and diverted at their Expence Thus much I thought necessary to premise that by shewing the Nature and End of Comedy we may be prepared to expect Characters agreeable to it Secondly Since Comick Poets are oblig'd by the Laws of Comedy and to the intent that Comedy may answer its true end and purpose above-mentioned to represent vicious and foolish Characters In Consideration of this I desire that it may not be imputed to the Perswasion or private Sentiments of the Author if at any time one of these vicious Characters in any of his Plays shall behave himself foolishly or immorally in Word or Deed. I hope I am not yet unreasonable it were very hard that a Painter should be believ'd to resemble all the ugly Faces that he draws Thirdly I must desire the impartial Reader not to consider any Expression or Passage cited from any Play as it appears in Mr. Collier's Book nor to pass any Sentence or Censure upon it out of its proper Scene or alienated from the Character by which it is spoken for in that place alone and in his Mouth alone can it have its proper and true Signification I cannot think it reasonable because Mr. Collier is pleas'd to write one Chapter of Immodesty and another of Profaneness that therefore every Expression traduc'd by him under those Heads shall be condemn'd as obscene and profane immediately and without any further Enquiry Perhaps Mr. Collier is acquainted with the deceptio visus and presents Objects to the View through a stain'd Glass things may appear seemingly profane when in reality they are only seen through a profane Medium and the true Colour is dissembled by the help of a Sophistical Varnish Therefore I demand the Privilege of the habeas Corpus Act that the Prisoners may have Liberty to remove and to appear before a just Judge in an open and an uncounterfeit light Fourthly Because Mr. Collier in his Chapter of the Profaneness of the Stage has founded great part of his Accusation upon the Liberty which Poets take of using some Words in their Plays which have been sometimes employed by the Translators of the Holy Scriptures I desire that the following Distinction may be admitted viz. That when Words are apply'd to sacred things and with a purpose to treat of sacred things they ought to be understood accordingly But when they are otherwise apply'd the Diversity of the Subject gives a Diversity of Signification And in truth he might as well except against the common use of the Alphabet in Poetry because the same Letters are necessary to the spelling of Words which are mention'd in sacred Writ Tho' I have thought it requisite and but reasonable to premise these few things to which as to so many postulata I may when occasion offers refer my self yet if the Reader should have any Objection to the Latitude which at first sight they may seem to comprehend I dare venture to assure him that it shall be remov'd by the Caution which I shall use and those Limits by which I shall restrain my self when I shall judge it proper for me to refer to them It may not be impertinent in this place to remind the Reader of a very common Expedient which is made use of to recommend the Instruction of our Plays which is this After the Action of the Play is over and the Delight of the Representation at an end there is generally Care taken that the Moral of the whole shall be summ'd up and deliver'd to the Audience in the very last and concluding Lines of the Poem The Intention of this is that the Delight of the Representation may not so strongly possess the Minds of the Audience as to make them forget or oversee the Instruction It is the last thing said that it may make the last Impression and it is always comprehended in a few Lines and put into Rhyme that it may be easy and engaging to the Memory Mr. Collier divides his Charge against the Stage into these four heads Immodesty Profaneness Abuse of the Clergy and Encouragement of Immorality I have yet written but four poor Plays and this Author out of his very particular Favour to me has found the means to accuse 'em every one of one or more of these four Crimes I will examine each in its turn by his Citations and begin with the Plays in the order that they were written In his Chapter of the Immodesty of the Stage he has not made any Quotation from my Comedies But in general finds fault with the lightness of some Characters He mentions slightly and I think without any Accusation Belinda in the Old Batchelor and Miss Prue in Love for Love Miss Prue he says is represented silly to screen her Impudence which amounts to this Confession that Women when they have their Understandings about them ought to Converse otherwise I grant it this is in truth the Moral of the Character If Mr. Collier would examine still at this rate we should agree very well Belinda he produces as a Character under Disorders of Liberty this last is what I do not understand and therefore desire to be excused if I can make no Answer to it I only refer those two Characters to the Judgment of any impartial Reader to determine whether they are represented so as to engage any Spectator to imitate the Impudence of one or the Affectation of the other and whether they are not both ridiculed rather than recommended But he proceeds the Double-dealer is particularly remarkable There are but four Ladies in this Play and three of the biggest of them are Whores These are very big Words very much too big for the Sense for to say three of the biggest when there are but four in Number is stark Nonsense Whatever the Matter may be in this Gentleman's Book I perceive his Stile at least is admirable Well suppose he had said and the three Biggest c. for I am sure he cannot part with biggest he has occasion to use it so often in the rest of his Book But mark he gives us an instance of his big good Breeding A great Complement to Quality to tell them there is not above a quarter of them honest This Computation I suppose he makes by the help of political Arithmetick As thus the Stage is the Image of the World by the Men and Women represented there are signified all the Men and Women in the World so that if four Women are shewn upon the Stage and three
discover'd in her Lewdness and suffer'd to come no more upon the Stage In the end of the last Act Sharper says to Vain-love I have been a kind of Godfather to you yonder I have promis'd and vow'd some things in your name which I think you are bound to perform I meant no ill by this Allegory nor do I perceive any in it now Mr. Collier says it was meant for Drollery on the Catechism but he has a way of discovering Drollery where it never was intended and of intending Drollery where it can never be discovered So much for the Old Batchelour In the Double-Dealer he says Lady Plyant cries out Iesu and talks Smut in the same Sentence That Exclamation I give him up freely I had my self long since condemn'd it and resolv'd to strike it out in the next Impression I will not urge the folly viciousness or affectation of the Character to excuse it Here I think my self oblig'd to make my Acknowledgments for a Letter which I receiv'd after the Publication of this Play relating to this very Passage It came from an Old Gentlewoman and a Widow as she said and very well to pass It contain'd very good Advice and requir'd an Answer but the Direction for the Superscription was forgot If the good Gentlewoman is yet in being I desire her to receive my Thanks for her good Counsel and for her Approbation of all the Comedy that Word alone excepted That Lady Plyant talks Smut in the same Sentence lies yet upon Mr. Collier to prove His bare Assertion without an Instance is not sufficient If he can prove that there is downright Smut in it why e'en let him take it for his pains I am willing to part with it His next Objection is that Sir Paul who he observes bears the Character of a Fool makes mention too often of the word Providence for says Mr. Collier the meaning must be by the way that must is a little hard upon me that Providence is a ridiculous Supposition and that none but Blockheads pretend to Religion What will it avail me in this place to signifie my own meaning when this modest Gentleman says I must mean quite contrary Lady Froth is pleased to call Jehu a Hackney Coachman Ibid. Lady Froth's words are as follow Our Iehu was a Hackney Coachman when my Lord took him Which is as much as to say that the Coachman's Name is Iehu And why might it not be Iehu as well as Ieremy or Abraham or Ioseph or any other Jewish or Christian Name Brisk desires that this may be put into a Marginal Note in Lady Froth's Poem This Mr. Collier says is meant to burlesque the Text and Comment under one What Text or what Comment or what other earthly Thing he can mean I cannot possibly imagine These Remarks are very Wise therefore I shall not Fool away any time about them Sir Paul tells his Wife he finds Passion coming upon him by Inspiration The poor Man is troubled with the Flatus his Spleen is pufft up with Wind and he is likely to grow very angry and peevish on the suddain and desires the privilege to Scold and give it Vent The word Inspiration when it has Divine prefix'd to it bears a particular and known signification But otherwise to inspire is no more than to Breath into and a Man without profaneness may truly say that a Trumpet a Fife or a Flute deliver a Musical Sound by the help of Inspiration I refer the Reader to my fourth Proposition in this Case For a Dispute about this word would be very like the Controversie in Ben. Iohnson's Barthol Fair between the Rabbi and the Puppet it is profane and it is not profane is all the Argument the thing will admit of on either side The Double-dealer is not yet exhausted ib. That is Mr. Collier is not yet exhausted for to give double Interpretations to single Expressions with a design only to lay hold of the worst is double dealing in a great degree Cynthia the top Lady grows thoughtful Cynthia it seems is the Top Lady now not long since the other Three were the three biggest Perhaps the Gentleman speaks as to personal proportion Cynthia is the Tallest and the other Three are the Fattest of the Four Well Cynthia is thoughtful and upon the question relates her Contemplation Cyn. I am thinking that though Marriage makes Man and Wife one Flesh it leaves them two Fools Here he has filch'd out a little word so slily 't is hardly to be miss'd and yet without it the words bear a very different signification The Sentence in the Play is Printed thus Though Marriage makes Man and Wife one Flesh it leaves 'em STILL two Fools Which by means of that little word still signifies no more than that if two People were Fools before or when they were married they would continue in all probability to be Fools still and after they were married Ben. Iohnson is much bolder in the first Scene of his Bartholomew Fair. There he makes Littlewit say to his Wife Man and Wife make one Fool and yet I don't think he design'd even that for a Jest either upon Genesis 2. or St. Matthew 19. I have said nothing comparable to that and yet Mr. Collier in his penetration has thought fit to accuse me of nothing less Thus I have summ'd up his Evidence against the Double-dealer I have not thought it worth while to Cross-examine his Witnesses very much because they are generally silly enough to detect themselves In Love for Love Scandal tells Mrs. Foresight he will die a Martyr rather than disclaim his Passion The word Martyr is here used Metaphorically to imply Perseverance Martyr is a Greek word and signifies in plain English no more then a Witness A holy Martyr or a Martyr for Religion is one thing a wicked Martyr or Martyr for the Devil is another A Man may be a Martyr that is a Witness to Folly to Error or Impiety Mr. Collier is a Martyr to Scandal and Falshood quite through his Book This Expression he says is dignifying Adultery with the Stile of Martyrdom as if any word could dignifie Vice These are very trifling Cavils and I think all of this kind may reasonably be referr'd to my Fourth Proposition Ieremy who was bred at the University calls the natural Inclinations to Eating and Drinking Whoreson Appetites Ieremy bred at the University Who told him so What Ieremy does he mean Ieremy Collier or Ieremy Fetch The last does not any where pretend to have been bred there And if the t'other would but keep his own Counsel and not Print M. A. on the Title Page of his Book he would be no more suspected of such an Education than his Name-sake Ieremy in the Play banters the Coxcomb Tattle and tells him he has been at Cambridge Whereupon Tattle replies 'T is well enough for a Servant to be bred at an University Which is said to expose the impudence of illiterate
to shew his Reading and his Reading is such that it puts us to pain to behold it He discovers an ill Taste in Books and a worse Digestion He has swallow'd so much of the Scum of Authors that the overflowing of his own Gall was superfluous to make it rise upon his Stomach But he ought in good Manners to have stept aside and not to have been thus nauseous and offensive to the Noses of the whole Country But as his Reading would not stay with him so his Writing ran away with him Ben Iohnson in his Discoveries says There be some Men are born only to suck the Poison of Books Habent venenum pro victu imo pro deliciis And such are they that only relish the obscene and foul things in Poets which makes the Profession tax'd But by whom Men that watch for it c. Something farther in the same Discoveries He is speaking again very much to our purpose for it is in justification of presenting vicious and foolish Characters on the Stage in Comedy It seems some People were angry at it then let us compare his Picture of them with the Characters of those who quarrel at it now It sufficeth says he I know what kind of Persons I displease Men bred in the declining and decay of Vertue betrothed to their own Vices that have abandoned or prostituted their good Names hungry and ambitious of Infamy invested in all Deformity enthrall'd to Ignorance and Malice of a hidden and conceal'd Malignity and that hold a concomitancy with all Evil. 'T is strange that Mr. Collier should oversee these two Passages when he was simpling in the same Field where they both grow This is pretty plain because in the 51st Page of his Book he presents you with a Quotation from the same Discoveries as one intire Paragraph tho' severally collected from the 706 and 717th Pages of the Original so that he has read both before and beyond these Passages But a Man that looks in a Glass often walks away and forgets his resemblance Mr. Collier's Vanity in pretending to Criticism has extremely betray'd his Ignorance in the Art of Poetry this is manifest to all that understand it And methinks his Affectation of seeming to have read every thing sometimes betrays him to Confessions that are not much to his Advantage I wonder he is not asham'd to own that he is so well acquainted with the 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 of Aristophanes The Dialogues of Aretine or Aloïsia are not more obscene than that Piece The Author there as Mr. Bays says does egad name the thing directly and that in above a hundred Places But perhaps Mr. Collier meant to veil that Play under a Misnommer to use his own Phrase and when he call'd it Concianotores thought we could not discover that in spite of his Artifice or his Ignorance he must mean no other than the leud Concionatrices or Parliament-Women of Aristophanes He has indeed rak'd together a strange number of Authors Names But as Gideon's Army of Two and thirty thousand was order'd to be reduc'd to Three hundred so his rabble of Citations without any loss to him might be reduc'd to a much less number But his Business is not Discipline but Tumult He appears like Captain Tom at the Head of a People that are shuffled together neither the World nor they nor He can tell why but since they are met Plunder is the Word and the Play-house is first to be demolish'd He has outdone Bays in his grand Dance nay the Heathen Philosophers in their Notions of the grand Chaos never imagin'd a greater confusion All Religions all Countries all Ages are jumbled together to explode what all Religions all Countries and all Ages have allow'd He is not contented with his Battalia compounded of Bramins Brachmans Mufties Councils Fathers the Bishop of Arras c. But the Philosophers nay the very Poets themselves are press'd to the Service Cicero endeavour'd with all his might to get himself a Name in Poetry and Aristotle preferr'd Tragedy even to Philosophy But Mr. Collier has converted them both in short between him and the Bishop of Arras they have been seduc'd and inviegl'd over to the other side He pretends to triumph in the heart of Parnassus and has sown dissention in the bosoms of some of the chief Proprietors Ovid and the Plain Dealer are revolted and take Arms against their Brethren while Mr. Collier sings with Lucan and Hudibras of Civil Fury c. populumque potentem In sua victrici Conversum viscera dextra Cognatasque acies Bays against Bays Pila minantia pilis I wish his Seeds of Sedition were not scatter'd elsewhere for here I think they will hardly thrive What effect his Doctrine in private Families will have I know not when the Superiority comes to be disputed between the Country-Gentlemen and their Chaplains or rather as Mr. Collier has establish'd it between the Chaplains and their Country-Gentleman I am not the only one who look on this Pamphlet of his to be a Gun levell'd at the whole Laity while the shot only glances on the Theatre what he means by the Attack or what may be its Consequences I know not and I suppose he cares not Bellum inchoant inertes fortes finiunt But there are those who will not be displeas'd at an occasion of making Recriminations With respect to his Parts it is no wise thing to give any body an Example of searching into Books for negligent and foolish Expressions Divines have sometimes forgot themselves in Controversial Writings Disputes begun or pretended to have been begun on Points of Faith have ended in scurrilous and personal Reflections and from Tracts of Divinity have degenerated into Pasquils and Lampoons That Mr. Collier has laid the Foundation of such a Controversie I think is apparent but I hope his Credit is not sufficient to engage any body to go on with the Building He has assaulted the Town in the Seat of their principal and most reasonable Pleasure Down with the Theatre right or wrong Delenda est Carthago let the Consequence be what it will That was a very rash Maxim and if Cato had liv'd to have seen its Effects he would have repented it To persecute an Allie and that desires no more than to continue in our Alliance as an Enemy is a weak and barbarous Piece of Policy Persecution makes Men persevere in the right and Persecution may make 'em persist in the wrong Men may by ill usage be irritated sometimes to assert and maintain even their very Errors Perhaps there is a vicious Pride of triumphing in the worst of the Argument which is very prevailing with the Vanity of Mankind I cannot help thinking that our Author is not without his share of this Vanity I think truly he had a fair appearance of Right on his side in the Title Page of his Book but with reason I think I may also affirm that by his mis-management he has very