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A59185 Thyestes a tragedy, translated out of Seneca to which is added mock-thyestes, in burlesque / by F. W. Gent; Thyestes. English Seneca, Lucius Annaeus, ca. 4 B.C.-65 A.D.; J. W. (John Wright), fl. 1674. Mock-Thyestes. 1674 (1674) Wing S2523; ESTC R19687 32,276 159

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I. TANTALVS MEGAERA TAnt What Witch of Endor does thus fret me And when I 'de stay in hell won't let me Cannot a man be damn'd in quiet But Haggs must thus commit a Riot You 'l whip me out of Hell-doors we ' ye And firk me up with a Pox te ' ye I must to earth but pray let 's know What I must do there er'e I go I cannot teach 'em damning there Nor more debauch 'em then they are To Wench drink rook or be uncivil They scorn to learn of a poor Devill 'T is ten to one the Sons of Whores Will either kick me out of doors Or think'me a tame harmless Cully And then I 'me gone to Nicker-Bully But should I take a Wenches shape 'T is six to four I get a Clap. And then how shamefully 't will urge one That comes from Hell to use a Surgeon All that I say I can make good In mine own proper flesh and blood Two Imps I have as very Rakells As er'e did cling in Newgate shackles Men call one Atreus and the other Thyestes Atreus's own Brother Rake Hell and skim the Devill if er'e You match 'em I 'le be hang'd that 's fair Meg. Allons and stand not thus hum drum Or Faith I 'le run this Pin i' your bum De' e think I 'le suffer you conclude Whether the thing be bad or good Yet if you wonder at your Mission And why 't is with such expedition To give your Nephews a kind Visit If you would know the true cause is it Oh then and do just as I tell ye First put two live Eels in their belly Which may so operate and frisk it As if old Nick were in their Brisket Where Nature 's dull we thus must force her For Devils may learn of a Horse-Courser Then make 'em hector huff and swear Curse damn and sink spit fire and stare Snatch Spits and tilt at one another And Brother bite off Nose of Brother Tan. I say you so but if you get me To do 't I le give you leave to eat me Perhaps on earth what you have moved Is often done and well approved And to debauch ones own Relation Counted a Genteil Recreation But soft you ne're shall get me to it An honest Devil will not do it Do you my Grandchildren suppose Bull-Doggs to run full at the Nose Or think you them Cocks grown so sullen To spit themselves instead of Pullen In fine I tell you once again Tempt me no more for 't is in vain Meg. Well since I can't this way prevail I le try now to perswade your Tail Your Toby I 'le so feaze with this Rod that has lain three weeks in piss That you shall begg the thing to do Before we part and thank me too Come come untruss or must I force ye And call Tysiphone to horse ye Tant Oh lay that frightfull Engine by Kneels Dred Queen for if it shakes I dye And I will your Commands obey Like your most humble as they say But spare my buttocks let me begg ye For they are tender dearest Megge Meg. Enough I pardon do not doubt it But let 's shake hands and so about it Tan. Like a dire Vapour which some call A Blast Hypocondriacal Or like the steem of Candle snuff I come but peacably enough Then fear not Mortals I will do No harm but stink and so adiew Madam when you confer the Grace Next your Command on me to place Henceforth I 'le do it without grudging And like a plain well-meaning Gudgin What er'e you offer me I 'le swallow Go on sweet Lady for I follow Exeunt Chorus If any of the Starry Powers Value one pin or us or ours If Jupiter or Mars ere saw A Miss among us worth a straw If we have ought that 's worth their care Twixt wind and water or else where I wish with all my heart and Soul That they our Quarrels would controul For this same Atreus and Thyestes Are both stark naught who er'e the best is Cat after kind exact 'T is plain That neither of 'em cross the strain Pelops their Father was and he Kill'd his own Wives Dad a dadde He loved the Sport so well that rather Then want a Wench he 'd kill a Father Nay more the most ungrateful Woer Hang'd the poor Pimp that helpt him to her Now if the Heraulds books don't fail us Pelops was Son of one Tantalus He was as is reported common Of London Town a Serjeants Yeoman Who to arrest a Cook once came In place Ram Ally call'd by name Some Clerks and Bullies of the Cloisters Were there by chance then opening Oysters These seeing their Cook in woful danger On whom they lay at Rack and manger Or as some say 't was chiefly ' cause They saw a Rupture in the Laws And sacred Franchise of the Ally They never stand ye shally shally But take poor Tant and hurl him in To Temple Bog-house up to th' Chin. But here the Mischief ends not yet To see a Cooks malicious wit When Tant had stood there half a day He thought him hungry as we say His Knife unto the Spit he puts ye And pen'worth six of Roast Beef cuts ye In order then to what his heart meant He runs me strait to Tants appartment There holding it down in the Hole He cry's you cursed Dog Catchpole Look what is here do's your Maw crave it Yes when y' are hang'd then you shall have it This said in an heroick strain His hand he snatches up again Then brings the flagon full of Ale Or as some Authors have it Stale For Flagons oft have used been Both to fill out and empty in Or as the plain expression is Either to drink in or to piss Now as all Cooks do often try Hot stinks do make men develish dry The cunning Spit-man therefore thus Brings a full Pot to Tantulus Which whch the poor Fool reaches at He empties it upon his Pate And this is briefly the first rising Of that which we call Tantalizing ACT. II. Enter Atreus and a Servant ATreus 'T is true my Brother did seduce My Spouse but that 's not all th' abuse For Jack as I was saying if he Had done this out of Amity And pure good will unto my Wife It had ner'e griev'd me but us'd life To Cuckold me out of meer scorn By flesh and blood cannot be born Sei. That 's very true But still I say Sir How if it were in a fair way Sir Atr. Lord Jack thou art just such another When the thing 's cleer to make a puther For look ye Jenny had she been As beauteous as is any Queen Then it might well have been as you say But she 's as ugly as Medusa 'T was therefore done you plainly see In spight and disrespect to me And now dear Rogue let think upon 't For I 'le not put up the affront Ser. Must my Dame too be guilty made For she was in the Musquerade Couchant and did