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ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A08437	The anatomyes of the true physition, and counterfeit mounte-banke wherein both of them, are graphically described, and set out in their right, and orient colours. Published in Latin by Iohn Oberndorff, a learned German: and translated into English by F.H. fellow of the Coll. of Physitions in London. Hereunto is annexed: A short discourse, or, Discouery of certaine stratagems, whereby our London-empericks, haue bene obserued strongly to oppugne, and oft times to expugne their poore patients purses.; De veri et falsi medici cognitione. English	Oberndorf, Johann.; Herring, Francis, d. 1628.	1602 (1602)	STC 18759; ESTC S120711	37,471	55

a whole Troupe and as it were a bottomelesse Whirlepoole of all Vice and odious Naughtinesse and Filthinesse Herevpon hee neither Fearing God nor Caring for the good Lawes of Man I am ashamed to speake that which they shame not to commit refuseth not to giue Horrible and Detestable Counsell for the murthering of Poore Infants in their mothers bellyes procuring them to fall from the Tree like vntimely Fruite And being as lasciuious as a Sparrow in the Spring hee maketh no bones to corrupt and sollicite to vncleannesse young beautifull Maidens hauing a speciall Facultie in Curing the Greene Sicknesse yea and comely Matrons and Wiues if he may handsomely come into their Chambers blushing no whit to spend many houres in Carowsing in Tauernes and dallyance among Curtemans And according to the diuers Dispositions and Humours of Men that hee may fit and Please all he layeth aside the Behauiour and Grauitie of a Phisition and putteth vpon Him the Person of a Sycophant and Parasite making account as the World goeth to thriue better thereby then by his profession refusing no Seruitude or Drudgery how base so euer that hee may creepe into Fauour with his Good Maisters and Mistresses and get into that Great Lord or Rich Ladies Bookes One while hee playeth the Apothecarie an other while the Cooke an other while the Seruing Man other whiles serueth in stead of Mother Midnight and sometime hee is content to carrie the Pisse pot abasing Himselfe to euery Seruile and Slauish Office Nay by your leaue Sometimes which is of all other most vnworthy and vnbefitting hee playeth the Foole and Iester and now and then which is worst of all the Bawd and Pandore And he is so farre from being thought worse for all this by the Vulgars that he is counted an Obsequious Officious Neat Necessary Man a Merry and good Fellow and the Onely Phisition Among other things hee laboureth to excell in Garrulitie and much Babling his Tongue being like a Lambs Tale or Aspen leafe which neuer lyeth still but is alwayes wagging And since he cannot come neare others in sound Learning Iudgement and Skil in his Art he will be sure to goe farre beyond them in Childish Foolish Vnsauourie Tedious and Tiersome Loquacitie So that by a vaine and fond boasting of Learning and impudent promising and vndertaking many and great Matters he is accounted a great and profound Doctor among the rude and ignorant Multitude especially among simple credulous Women who through their weaknesse of Iudgement shallownesse of Conceit and Leuitie of Minde are of all other most readie to embrace old wiues Tales Lyes and Forgeries he keepeth a foule Coyle playing the Champion and Warriour with his Tongue vaunting aboue measure of his great and noble Acts in killing I know not how many Chymaeras despising that with a Grace all the Learned Phisitions of the Place and sometimes Age wherein he liueth barking and byting reuiling and calumniating them at his Pleasure as not worthy to carry his Bookes or once to be named or compared with his sweete Selfe our great Magnifico and all to the end that he might alienate Mens Minds from Them by his shamelesse Cauils and Slaunders impaire their Reputation and brand them with the blacke Coale of Infamy and Reproach Now if by these cunning sleights vnsauourie Pratling secret Calum●●…ation he haue scraped together a few Crownes that he may trauel● into some forraine Countrey hee will make sure to fawne vpon the Female kinde and to purchase the Fauour of honourable Ladies and Dianaes with some rare and pretious Gifts suppose a peece of Counterfeit Vnicomes-horne or a Bezoat-stone made of Powder of Post or glassie Sand the Onely and Soueraigne Antidote and Medicine if you will beleeue my great Maister of all Maladie Treacle Diatessaron or some Counterfeit Drugge closed hard with the Venetian Seale or a litle white Clay which hee calleth Terra Lemnia or some such like precious Iewell not worth a button Now he impudently with a whole streame of prittle prattle setteth out to the vttermost his goodly Gifts that they are worth twise their waight in Gold that they must be laid vp in their Caskets amōg their most costly Ornaments and kept as their Life Thus with these cunning sleights fawnings and flattering words and Gifts not worth a strawe which notwithstanding silly Women haue not the wit to reiect but take them with both hands and locke them vp for Treasures extolling and praising them to the Skyes among their Gossips he winneth the Spurres among the Multitude and being in high Admiration Credit and renowme with my Gossip Prittle Prattle his Fame is by by spread through the whole Town as with Bell and Clapper and hee reckoned the onely Learned and profound Doctor For he cannot possibly make so loud and impudent a Lye but it straight way runneth for currant among these credulous and poore Soules For among Blinde the Blinker easily ruleth the Rost So that by his lewd and lowd Lyes and other pretie Shifts and nimble Sleights he bringeth to passe that hee is applauded in euery Corner and magnified by the common sort as an other Apollo For they delighting altogether in Noueltie and loathing their old accustomed Physitions though neuer so learned if there come any straunge Beast or Monster out of Barbary or Iacke an Apes from Cataia they doo gaze vpon him with Admiration flocke after him by whole Troupes and set him out in highest Degrees of Commendations And being compassed with this Crew of Idiots and sitting in his Chaire of State with his Cap of Maintenance by his silly Patient it is a world to heare how his Tongue rowleth and walketh at randome but not one wise word or any way appertaining to the matter if he might gaine thereby a Kingdome One while with magnificall bombasted and ell-long words he boasteth of his straunge and admirable Cures you may take time to beleeue them an other while he telleth endlesse long and headlesse Stories of his rare and hard Aduentures in Trauailes and Perigrinations vttering oft times and that with great arrogancie and shamelesse Impudencie as many Lyes as words Otherwhile he taketh vp the Person of a leaster and playeth the Foole in the Play very singularly For that Part of all other as it pleaseth himselfe and his fond Fauourites the best so it becommeth him right well But he hath one propertie which by the way is worthy of speciall Commendation If he see or heare any Thing in the House of his Patient it were as good to haue bene cryed at the Crosse He cannot abide to keepe Counsell For it is not possible that a Man of many words should haue any Truth or Secrecie in him And as he is a Babler so is he likewise a good Trencher man or Good fellow as they call them louing company and good cheare passing well and the Chesse the Dice a Cup of neat Wine better a great deale then his Booke For if you misle him

these are the well-springs and Fountaines of all humanitie wherewith if our Physition be not throughly watered he can neuer bring forth any good or wholesome Fruite For as these liberall and generall Arts leade vs as it were by the hand to the sweete and siluer streames of Naturall Philosophie so Philosophie bringeth vs after some good acquaintance with her to the spacious goodly beautifull Field of Physicke It is needfull likewise that hee bring with him an eager appetite and insatiable Desire to penetrate and diue into the Mysteries of that profound Science wherein there are so many hidden secrets farre remoued from the Eyes Sence of the Vulgar sort Wherevpon that hee may the more easily and happily attaine the knowledge of these things he placeth himselfe in some famous Vniuersitie replenished by the benigne aspect of Heauen clemency of the Aire Soyle with refined and braue Wits where as in a Mart of Phisicke he doth not only store himselfe with varietie of medicinal furniture of all kindes but doth likewise often enter into the lists with his Corriuals exerciseth himself in discussing the difficult Controuersies of that learned Facultie chusing for his Maisters Standerd-bearers such as are of greatest learning and most renowmed happy Practise and such as do teach the Art painfully and faithfully that by these meanes he may more ioyfully and speedily aspire vnto the top of his Desires Neither is he wanting to himselfe but duly waying that Occasion is swift slippery and bald behind he catcheth her by her fore-lockes with daily and singular diligence he striketh the Iron while it is hote and taketh the Time whilest Time serueth By this meanes he layeth a sound and sure foundation of his Art readily apprehending firmly retaining the precepts thereof and prudently applying them to the vse of his Patients Moreouer he seriously bethinketh himselfe that this diuine and most learned Study requireth not a laizie drowzie and slothful-snorring Therfites but a painfull vigilant and industrious Vlisses hauing a chearfull and vndanted Mind against all dangers and troubles whatsoeuer Herevpon he daily painfully exerciseth himselfe in reading the learned volumes of those auncient Worthies who haue faithfully and fruitfully deliuered this Art vnto Posterity the only Solace of humane Life he diligently frequenteth the publike Lectures of Anatomy and afterward himselfe doth make open Dissection To conclude he spareth no paine but climbeth the high steep Mountains rangeth thorow the low vallies pierceth the woods and thickets entereth the Caues and hollow Dens of the earth searcheth thorowly the spatious and wild fields the banks of sweet running Riuers to attain the true knowledge and nature of multiforme Simples And that bee may comprehend and vnderstand the nature properties and vertues of all these he refuseth no trauaile nor forbeareth any cost referring and applying them all to the commoditie benefit and health of Men. In the meane while like a Diogenes or Timon who desires to be alone and singular he doth not refuse to ioyne with learned Phisitions when they visit their Patients and conferre together about the curatiō of Diseases but doth heedfully obserue those learned Colloquies and Consultations and carefully commit them to memory putting likewise his owne hand by little and litle vnto the worke and in Cases of difficultie and danger is nothing ashamed to follow the Aduise and Direction of skilfull and well-pratised Physitions But to atchiue all these things happily and successiuely sufficient Time and Opportunitie are necessarily required For the learned ample and diuine Art of Physicke which requireth a whole man is not learned in the space of one or two yeares but for the largenesse excellency worthinesse and profunditie thereof the whole Life of man is hardly sufficient If we expect that this heauenly Science implanted in the mind and purchased by so many sweats and more then Herculean Labors should yeeld a plentifull haruest to the good welfare of Mankind Thus you haue briefly as it were the birth education institutiō of a true Aesculapian to whom if you oppose your Changeling and masking Mounte banke you shall finde them to agree like Harpe and Harrow 2. For it is clearer thē the Sun that the whole Rable of these Quacksaluers are of a base wit peruerse Nature hauing no more naturall Inclination or Dispositiō vnto this study then the Asse to the harpe For all these Bragadocian Thessali which boast of their skill in this Profession couering their Asses eares with the honest tytles of Doctors Physitions as with a comely Mantel and practising Physick to the vnauoydable and lamentable hurt and danger of their poore and miserakle Patients if you consider them aright for the most part are the abiect sordidous scumme and refuse of the people who hauing runne away from their Trades and Occupations learne in a corner to get their liuings by killing of Men. And if we plucke off the vizards wherein these disguised Maskers do march bring thē to the Light which like Owles they cannot abide they will appeare to be runnagate Iewes the cut-throats and robbers of Christians slowbellyed Monkes who haue made escape from their Cloysters Simoniacall and periured shauelings busie Sir Iohn lacklatines Thrafonical and vnlettered Chymists shifting outcast Pettifoggers light-headed and triuiall Druggers and Apothecaries Sun-shunning night birds and Corner-creepers dull-pated and base Mechanickes Stage-players Iuglers Pedlers prittle-pratling Barbers filthie Grasiers curious Bath-keepers common shifters cogging Caueliers bragging Soldiers Bankerupt marchāts lazy Clowns one-eyed or lamed Fencers toothlesse and tatling old wiues chattering Char-women and Nurs-keepers long tongued Midwiues scape-Tibornes Dog-leethes and such like baggage and earth dung In the next Ranke to second this goodly and sweet Troupe follow Poysoners Inchanters Soothsayers Wizards Fortune-tellers Magitians Witches Hags with a rablement moe of that damnable Crew the very filth and drosse of the world Now if you take a good view of these sweet Companions you shall finde them not only meere Dolts Idiots and Buzzards but likewise Conremners and Haters of all good learning For the greatest part of them disdaine booke-learning being altogether vnacquainted with liberal Arts and neuer came where Learning grew For euery one of them though in his own opinion an other Chiron yet either hath no bookes at all or if hee haue a great Library to make the world beleeue hee is a great Clarke yet hee layeth them by the walles to feed the Moathes but neuer peruseth them nay many times cannot so grosse is his Ignorance For Bookes witnesse Galen the incomparable Maister of Physicke are Monuments and Registers of those who are before learned and no perfect Instruction for Rudsbies and Idiots Neither doth the possession of a great Library and multitude of Bookes make a man learned no more then Aiax armor would make Thirsites a stout Souldier But the painful and diligent reading them and applying them to vse as the skilfull vse of weapons not

at any Tyme you may be sure to finde him either in the Tauerne or at Bowles or at some Feast or Meeting of Good-fellowes For our Smell-feast will be sure to haunt the Houses and Tables of Rich and great Men partly to fill his Paunch and partly that he may be thought to know all fashions and that hauing wonne the fauour of Grosse-headed and credulous Rich Capen-caters hee may by their meanes be preferred and aduanced And though he make glorious vaunting Pollicitations of binding Beares and moouing Mountaines yet if trusting to his big and Bugge words vpon some vrgent necessitie you desire his Counsell in some sodaine Symptom and headlong Disease by and by you shall finde him falter at the first onset as a Man beside his wit and not knowing which way to turne himselfe or at what End to begin Then not able any longer to couer his Ignorance he getteth into a Corner to peruse his Note-booke which he hath patched from some Apothecaries File or else some English Pamphlet of Surgery which he yet vnderstands not without an Interpreter or else he flieth to those old S●●esbies and Trudge blew-coats Antimony and Mercury Precipitate and if these good-fellowes chance to faile him then wanting all found Learning and Iudgement it is a Good sport to see how hee sumbleth and confoundeth himselfe running into twentie Errors and Absurdities euery one greater then another So that by this meanes the Disease doth oftimes sooner dispatch the Patient then our Pretie and Gay Doctor can resolue of a Course to be taken But that nothing may be wanting to our barred Cumanyst hee laboureth in his Gate Gesture and Attire to resemble the right Aesculapian but so that he is like an Ape clad in Purple with a whole table of Toyes and Trinkets that by Garish Outlandish and vncouth Apparell his great Gold Chaine and glistering Rings vpon euery Finger he may draw to him the Concourse and Admiration of the People and more readily vtter his Cart-load of Leasings Now as this Stage like Brauery requireth no small cost so doeth it greatly further our Magnifico in many Prettie and Cunning Shifts and Tricks of Gaining Among other Feats if any of them is more Craftie or hath a litle more broken Latine in his Budget then the Common Sort hee pryeth into the Practise of other Physitions and layeth about diligētly for those Medicines which he hath heard or knowne to do good and hauing once gotten a Transcript of them hee vseth them hand ouer head without Art or Reason Which notwithstanding if wee giue credite to Herophilus vnlesse they passe through the Hand of Skilfull and Iuditiall Physitions do more hurt then Good That which is one Mans Blisse is an other Mans Bane The greater Part of these Study and that seriously the Art of Sophistry Cousening and plaine Cony-catching aduauncing and setting to sale with Great applause and Concourse their witlesse Nostrums which they haue patched together by the marring of two or three good Medicines to make a third worst of all feeding the Common People with Toyes Trifles Bables Nut-shels plaine Chaffe in stead of Wheate which notwithstanding they set out to the vtmost with more then Hyperbolicall or rather Paracelficall Commendations Thus they inescate and circumuent poore silly Soules leauing them as much mony in their Purses as they haue Wit in theyr Heads especially if they prepare theyr Medicines themselues at home in theyr Selles and hyre two or three Brokers to blaze theyr Commendations in euery Corner of the Citie And if they can perswade them according to the foolish opinion of Many that nothing is wholesome effectuall and Soueraine but that which is far fetcht and deare bought for they fill the Purse they haue halfe wonne the Goale For all ordinary and common Gifts of Nature are despised and set at naught by these Braue Magnificos which haue nothing but Vnicornes horne Bezoar stone Magistery of Pearles and I knowe not what Precious and Forreine Bugges and Drugges in theyr Mouthes These our Mounts-banke proclaimeth lyke a Daw vpon a Perke to be infallible and sure Cardes approoued and ratified by long and good Experience laying oft times his Head to pawne that they are such as whereof common and triuiall Galenicall Doctors for with that Style hee brandeth all learned Physitions are altogether Ignorant Wherevpon that hee may by all meanes auoyd to treade in the steppes of the auncient and moderne Worthies this blinde and sottish Impostor carefully shunneth all benigne safe well-experienced Iudiciall and Rationall Medicines and maketh choyse of Churlish Violent Vncouth Drugges inuented not to Purge but to torment and excarnificat not to saue but to Kill Men couering theyr strong Poyson in a small Dose giuing them sometimes in Bozenges sometime in Wine that the poore Patient looking vppon the fayre and pleasaunt Bayte may not deserye the Hooke and Poyson lurking within and all this he doth with great Boldnesse and Impudencie not knowing the Daunger and Perill ensuing For they beeing by all Classicall and Rationall Phisitions raunged in the Ranke of Poysons do therefore violate Nature not onely by their Quantitie but likewise by their Qualitie be their Dose neuer so small Others as blinde and bold Bayards as the former bring out of their Budgets and dispearse abroad as Soueraigne Salues certaine Powders Alcola Vnguents Cerats Oyles not worth a rotten threed not knowing whereof they are compounded and oft times being not able to Name them aright Other vnder the Names and Tytles of Elixir of Lyfe Quin-Essence of Gold Pearle Azoth and Panacea which they themselues haue made and account Secrets of Secrets whereby they haue fetched backe I know not how many Soules embarked alreadie in Charons boate do sell certaine Gimmalls with great applause and for graet summes of money and by their Factors dispearse them abroad into forraine Countries Others that they may colourably and cunningly hide their grosse Ignorance when they know not the Cause of the Disease referre it vnto Charmes Wichcrafts Magnificall Incantations and Sorcerie vainely and with a brazen forehead affirming that there is no way to help them but by Characters Circles Figure castings Exercismes Coniutarions and other Impious and Godlesse Meanes Other set to sale at a great price certaine A mulets of Gold and Siluer stamped vnder an appropriate and selected Constellation of the Planets with some Magicall Character Shamelesly boasting that they will cure all Diseases and worke I know not what other wonders O gratefull and delightfull Comedie vnto the Diuell whereat he is ready to burst Himself with loud Laughter to see how he leadeth by the Nose the Common people with these Iugling Illusions and Sophistications and thereby greatly amplifieth and inlargeth his Kingdome Others swelling with a big conceit and vaine ostentation of skill and deepe insight in their Facultie by the sole and bare Inspection of the stinking Pispot like an old Hag or Sorceresse shewing great wonders in her Christall Glasse neuer once seeing the

hundred Talents which amounteth in our Money to sixtie thousand Crownes Plin. 21. li. 1. Stertinius complained of the Princes of his Dayes because his stipend for reading Physicke was but fiue hundred thousand Cesterties This is esteemed 4150. pound two shillings foure penee wheras he gained more by his practise in the Citie The like stipend was giuen by Claudius Caesar to this mans Brother Trinas the Massilian left an hundred thousand Sestertyes by Legacie to build the walles of his Citie I forbeare to shewe their great fauour credit and authoritie with mightie Potentates and Princes as Philip with Alexander Musa with Augustus I omit the Aruncians Albutians Rubrians Lassians and Carpentans whose stipend in Rome was 205. Aureos Thaddaeus the Florentine when he rode abroad receiued ordinarily for his Fee 500. Crownes a day and for one Cure vpon Honorius the Pope ten thousand Crownes at a clap Comineus the French Thucydides telleth of a Phisition of Ludouic the 11. French King who had from the King admirable and almost incredible Fees and rewards To passe by these with many other famous Presidents of Antiquitie clearly demonstrating to the Worlds view the true and due worth and esteeme of this excellent Profession to the staine and blush of our present Age it maketh infinitly for the cōmendation of Phisicke that the Messias Sauiour of the world the Emmanuel God it is the Lord Iesus himselfe in the daies of his soiourning walking here vpō the Earth refusing to intermeddle with deciding of Controuersies diuiding of Lands and Goods did notwithstanding spend a good part of his Tyme after the performance of his Propheticall office in teaching and curing the Soules of Men in healing the Diseases and Maladyes of their Bodies that is in plaine termes in exercising the Office Function of the Physition But here me thinks before I proceed further in this Argument one ioggeth me on the elbow with this item A Sophister of Greece made a long Oration in praise of Hercules One standing by before he could pronounce the whole cut him off thus Quis quaeso vnquam Herculem vituperauit In like sort a man may demaund of you who haue begun a Panegyrick of Physicke I pray you Syr who euer in his right wits dispraised Physicke Well I could if I were disposed answere this Quaere But I will bee content for this Tyme to take it for graunted that no Man of Common Sence Wit Reason Iudgement Discretion Learning or Humanitie will euer open his Mouth in dispraise of a Profession so auncient honourable beneficiall and necessarie vnto Mankinde without which neither Theologie can often preuaile to reforme the vicious Minde vnlesse Medicine dispose the Body and contemper the Humours and Lawe should commaund in vaine if Physicke did not yeeld apt and able Bodyes to obey I will drawe nearer to my present Purpose wherevnto I hope this short Praelude in Phisickes Praise will proue nothing impertinent For if Physicke be of that worth honour and reputation as hath bene in part touched and might haue bene more amply declared but that with the Dogge of Egypt I am constrained to take a snatch and away then intollerable are the Indignities and exceeding great are the Iniuries which these base Cullions and Buzzardly Venturers for so I chuse rather to terme them with a Learned Man of our Colledge then Emperickes who leaping from theyr Shopboords and leauing their Mechanicall Trades haue and doo daily offer to that faire goodly and gallant Lady A Fardell and Packe of the deceitfull Wares and subtill Sophistications of these Circumferaneous luglers hath alreadie bene vnfolded and laid open in the former Treatise written in Latine by a learned Germaine Now giue me leaue to acquaint you with some such cunning Sleights and pretie tricks of Legerdemaine which I haue obserued to be put in vse and practise by our London Interlopers and Quack-saluers wherby diuers honest Men and Women haue bene notoriously abused deluded emunged of their Money and plainly coney catched The cunning and slye Deuises subtill Policies and Warre-like Stratagems whereby these valerous Thrasoes and great Magnificoes doo lay a straight siege and make many strong assaults vpon their Patients Purses for vnto the poore Purse is all the Quarell haue partly respect vnto Themselues and partly vnto their Patient The first Proiect respecting Themselues whereby they ayme to winne credit with the Patient and insinuate themselues into his fauour bringing him into a Fooles-paradise and causing him to haue their persons in high admiration is to blowe into his Eares and that with a shamelesse impudent face and a tedious multitude of vaine lying and vaunting words that they haue certaine hidden deepe and precious Secrets altogether vnknowne to the Galenists and Schoole-Doctors whereby they are able to worke wonders and to quell Gargantua himselfe If the Patient demaund how they came by this profound knowledge hauing neuer followed the course of Learning or studied in any Vniuersitie then they eyther begin with a solemne grace and set countenance a long Storie of a written Booke of most rare and admirable Medicines inuented by a certaine profound and deepe learned Fryar or Monke and hidden with great care in the Wall or Sellar of a Monasterie Which Booke by great Chaunce and their happy Fortune hauing come to their hands they would not part with it for Saint Peters Cope or a Kings Raunsome Or else you shall haue a Tale of Manardes thē great Physition of Spaine who keeping a secret Booke of most tare and excellent Obseruations your braue and vaunting Quack-saluer auouching himselfe to haue bene his Man will boldly blushing as much as a blacke Dog affirme vnto you that beeing with him in his sicknesse whereof he dyed and obseruing diligently the place where Manardes laid vp his Iewell they cunningly after his Death seized on this Booke and conueied it away with them Hereby they are made of vnlettered Idiots great and skilfull Aesculapians and vndertake the Cure of all strange difficult and deadly Maladyes Or if the Patient misse of these Poeticall Fictions he may well stumble vpon that good fellow who as it is said hath a long Discourse of Seuerinus the Dane his sonne who being in seruice in the Spanish Armado Anno. 88. was wracked and cast on Shore Herevpon wandering as a poore harbourlesse and succourlesse Straunger he arriued at the last at the house of our Iuppiter Hospitalis who receiuing him into home and harbour vsing him kindly and at his departure furnishing him with some supply of Pence that thankefull Mercurie in recompence of this great Hospitalitie and Humanitie bestowed vpon him his Caducean Rodde or Booke of rare Physicall Mysteries whereby in an instant hee was from a silly Sot not able to speake one word of congruous Latine presently Metaphorphosed into a graue demure and grand Doctor and Maister in Physicke A hundred to one if hee happen not on some one or other of these stale Ieasts or at the least some other