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A13499 Sir Gregory Nonsence his newes from no place Written on purpose, with much study to no end, plentifully stored with want of wit, learning, iudgement, rime and reason, and may seeme very fitly for the vnderstanding of nobody. Toyte, Puncton, Ghemorah, Molushque, Kaycapepson. This is the worke of the authors, without borrowing or stealing from others. By Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1622 (1622) STC 23795; ESTC S101248 8,728 30

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though an Andiron and a paire of Tongs May both haue breeding from one teeming wombe Yet by the Calculation of Pickt-hatch Milke must not be so deere as Muskadell First shall Melpomene in Cobweb Lawne Adorne great Memphis in a Mussell boate And all the Muses clad in Robes of Ayre Shall dance Leuoltoes with a Whirligig Faire Pluto shall descend from Brazen dis And Polipheamus keepe a Seamsters shop The I le of Wight shall like a diue dapper Deuoure the Egyptian proud Piramides Whilst Cassia Fistula shall gurmundize Vpon the flesh and bloud of Croydon cole dust Then on the Bankes of Shoreditch shall be seene What 't is to serue the great Vtopian Queene This fearefull period with great ioyfull care Was heard with acclamations and in fine The whilst a lad of aged Nestors yeeres Stood sitting in a Throne of massy yeast Not speaking any word gaue this reply Most conscript Vmpire in this various Orbe I saw the Ceaders of old Lebanon Read a sad Lecture vnto Clapham heath At which time a strange vision did appeare His head was Buckrum and his eyes were sedge His armes were blew botiles his teeth were straw His legges were nine well squard Tobacco Pipes Cloath'd in a garment all of Dolphins egges Then with a voyce erected to the ground Lifting aloft his hands vnto his feete He thus beganne cease friendly cutting throtes Clamor the promulgation of your tongues And yeeld to Demagorgons pollicy Stop the refulgent method of your moodes For should you liue old Paphlagonias yeeres And with Sardanapalus match in vertue Yet Atropos will with a Marigold Runne through the Mountaines of the Caspian Sea When you shall see aboue you and beneath That nothing kils a man so soone as death This period finished ere it was begunne Aquarius ioyn'd with Pisces in firme league With Reasons and vindictiue Arguments That pulueriz'd the King of Diamonds And with a diogoricall relap's Squeaz'd through the Sinders of a Butterflye Great Oboron was mounted on a Waspe To signifie this newes at Dunstable The Weather-cock at Pancrage in a fume With Patience much distracted hearing this Repli'd thus briefely without feare or wit What madnesse doth thy Pericranion seaze Beyond the Dragons taile A●tophilax Think'st thou a Wolfe thrust through a sheep skin gl●●e Can make me take this Goblin for a Lambe Or that a Crodadile in Barly broth Is not a dish to feast don Belzebub Giue me a Medler in a field of blue Wrapt vp stigmatically in a dreame And I will send him to the gates of Dis To cause him fetch a sword of massie Chalke With which he wan the fatall Theban field From Romes great mitred Matropolitan Much was the quoile this brauing answere made When presently a German Coniurer Did ope a learned Booke of Palmistry Cram'd full of mentall reseruations The which beginning with a loud low voyce With affable and kind discourtesie He spake what no man heard or vnderstood Words tending vnto this or no respect Spawne of a Tortoyse hold thy silent noyse For when the great Leuiathan of Trumps Shall make a breach in Sinons Tennis Court Then shall the pigmey mighty Hercules Skip like a Wildernesse in Woodstreet Counter Then Taurus shall in league with Hanniball Draw Bacchus dry whilst Boreus in a heate In 〈…〉 op'd in a Gowne of Isicles With much discretion and great want of wit Leaue all as wisely as it was at first ●●●●fed much how those things could be done When straite a water Tankerd answer'd me That it was made with a Parenthesis With thirteene yards of Kersie and a 〈◊〉 Made of fine flaxe which grew on Goodwin sands Whereby we all perceiu'd the Hernshawes breed Being trusted with a charitable doome Was neere Bunhill when staite I might descry the Quintesence of Grubstreete well disti● Through Cripplegate in a contagioas Map Bright Phaeton all angry at the sight Snatch't a large Wool-packe from a Pismires mouth And in a Taylors Thimble boil'd a Cabbage Then all the standers by most Reueterend Rude Iudg'd that the case was most obscure and cleere And that three salt Enuigmates well appli'd With fourescore Pipers and Arions Harpe Might catch Garagantua through an augor-hole And t was no doubt but mulley Mahamet Would make a quaffing bole of Gorgons skull Whilst gormundizing Tantalus would weepe That Polipheme should kisse Auroraes lips Triformed Cinthis in a sinkefoile shape Met with the Dogstarre on Saint Dauids day But sad Grimalkin mumbling vp the Alpes Made fifteene fustian fumes of Pasticrust This was no sooner knowne at Amsterdam But with an Ethiopian Argosey Man'd with Flap-dragons drinking vp sifreeze They past the purple gulfe of Basingstoke This being finisht scarce to any end A full od number of iust sixteene dogs Drencht in a sulpher flame of scalding Ice ●ung the Besonian W 〈…〉 pooles of Argeire Mixt with pragmaticall potato Pies With that I turn'd mine eares to see these things ●nd on a Christall wall of Scarlet dye with mine eyes began to heare and note What these succeding Verses might portend Which furiously an Annabaptist squeak'd ●he audieace deaflly listning all the while A most learned-Lye and Illiterate Oration in lame galloping Rime fustianly pronounced by Nimshag a Gimnosophicall Phoolosopher in the presence of Achittophell Smel-smocke Annani-Asse Aretine Iscariot Nabal Fransiscus Ra-viliaco Garnetto Iebusito Guido Salpetro Fauexit Powderio and many other graue Senators of Limbo Translated out of the vulgar Language of Terra Incognita and is as materiall as any part of the Booke the meaning whereof a blind man may see without Spectacles as well at midn●ght as at noone day THe Story of Ricardo and of Bindo Appear'd like Nylus peeping through a Windo Which put the wandring Iew in much amazement In seeing such a voyce without the Cazement When loe a Bull long nourish'd in Cocitus With sulphure hornes sent by the Emp'rour Titus Ask'd a stigmatike Paraclesian question If Alexander euer lou'd Ephestion I seeing each to other were much aduerse In mirth and sport set downe their minds in sad verse Which as my braines with care haue coin'd minted With plenteous want of iudgement here t is printed But if Grimalkine take my line in dudgion The case is plaine I pray good Readers iudge ye on That Esop that old fabulisticke Phrigian From the Nocturnall floud or lake cal'd Stigian Came to the Court at Creete clad like a Legate The Porter kindly to him open'd the-Gate He past through Plutoes Hall in Hell most horrid Where gnashing cold mixt with combustious torid Where all things that are good and goodnes wanted Where plants of mans perdition still are planted Where Ghosts and Goblins all in sulphure suted And all the fiends like Cuckolds were cornuted At last he audience got in Plutoes presence And of his whole Embassage this was the-sence To thee Tartarian Monarch now my Rime-is And therefore marke my Prologue or Imprimis Thou that in Limbo art as 't were Rex Regnant Beare with my wit which