will send him to the gates of Dis To cause him fetch a sword of massie Chalke With which he wan the fatall Theban field From Romes great mitred Metropolitan Much was the quoile this brauing answere made When presently a German Coniurer Did ope a learned Booke of Palmistry â—ram'd full of mentall reseruations The which beginning with a loud low voyce With affable and kind discourtesie He spake what no man heard or vnderstood Words tending vnto this or no respect Spawne of a Tortoyse hold thy silent noyse For when the great Leuiathan of Trumps Shall make a breach in Sinous Tennis Court Then shall the pigmey mighty Hercules Skip like a wildernesse in Woodstreet Counter Then Taurus shall in league with Haâ—iball Draw Bacchus dry whilst Boreas in a heat Inuellop'd in a Gowne of Isicles With much discretion and great want of wit Leaue all as wisely as it was at firâ—â— I mused much how those things could be done When straite a water Tankard answer'd me That it was made with a Parenthesis With thirteene yards of Kerfie and a halfe Made of fine flaxe which grew on Goodwinsands Whereby we all perceiu'd the Hernshawes breed Being trusted with a charitable doome Was neere Bunhill when strait I might discry The Quintescence of Grub street well distild Through Cripplegate in a contagious Map Bright Phaeton all angry at the sight Snatcht a large Wool-packe from a pismires mouth And in a Taylors Thimble boi'ld a Cabbage Then all the standers by most Reuerend Rude Iudg'd the case was most obscure and cleere And that three salt Ennigmates well appli'd With fourescoure Pipers and Arions Harpe Might catch Garagantua through an augor-hole And t was no doubt but mulley Mahamet Would make a quaâ—fing bowle of Gorgous skul Whilst gormundizing Tantalus would weepe That Polipheme should kisse Auroraes lips Tri-formed Cinthia in a Sinkefoile shape Met with the Dogstarre on Saint Dauids day But said Grimalkin mumbling vp the Alpes Made fifteene fustian fumes of Pasticrust This was no sooner knowne at Amsterdam But with an Ethiopian Argosey Man'd with Flap-dragons drinking vpsifreeze They past the purple gulfe of Basingstoke This being finisht search to any end A full odde number of iust sixteene dogs Drencht in a sulpher flame of scalding Ice Sung the Besonian Whirlepooles of Argeire Mixt with pragmaticall potato Pies With that I turn'd my eares to see these things And on a Christall wall of Scarlet dye I with mine eyes began to heare and note What these succeeding Verses might portend Which furiously an Anabaptist squeak'd The audience deafly listning all the while A most learned-Lye and Illiterate Oration in lame galloping Riâ—â— fustianly pronounced by Nimshag a Giâ—â—â—sophicall Phoolosopher in the presence of Acâ—â—tophel Smel-smocke Annani-Asse Aretine Isâ—â—â— Nabal Fransiscus Ra-viliaco Garnetto Iebusito â—â— do Salpetro Fauexit Pouderio and many other gâ—â—â— Senators of Limbo Translated out of the vulgâ—â— Language of Terraincognita and is as materiall as any part of the Booke the meaning whereof a blindman may see without Spectacles as well at midnight as at noone day THe Story of Ricardo and of Bindo Appear'd like Nylus peeping through a wiâ—â— Which put the wandring Iew in much amazemâ—â—â— In seeing such a voyce without the Cazement When loe a Bull long nourish'd in Cocitus With sulphure hornes sent by the Emp'rour Tâ—â— Ask'd a stigmatike Paraclesian question If Alexander euer lou'd Ephestion I seeing each to other were much aduerse In mirth and spore set down their minds in sad â—â—â— Which as my brains with care haue coin'd miâ—â—â— With plenteous want of iudgment here t is priâ—â— But if Grimalkine take my line in dudgioa The case is plaine I pray good Readers iudge â—â—â— That Esop that old fabulisticke Phrygian From the Nocturnall stoud or lake cal'd Stigiâ— Came to the Court at Creeâ—e clad like a Legate The Porter kindly to him open'd the-Gate He past through Plutoes Hall in Hell most horrâ—â— Where gâ—asâ—ing cold mixt with combustious torid Where all things that are good goodnes wanted Where plaâ—â—â— of â—â— pâ—rdition still are planted Where Ghosts and Goâ—â— lings all in sulphure suâ—â—d And all the fâ—â—nds like Cuck olds were cornuted â—â— At last he audience got in Plumes presence And of his whole Embassage this was the sence â—o thee Tartarian Monarch now my Rime-is And therefore marke my Prologue â—â—â— Imprimis Thou that in Limâ—â—â—â—â—â— as 't were Rex Regâ—ant â—earewith my wit which is not â—â—â—â—â— or pregnant â— come froÌ„ Hoâ—dsditch Long-lane froÌ„ Bridewel Where all that haue liuâ—d ill haue all not dide well Where as the Vices shew like Vertues Cardinall Where 's mony store and conscience very hard in al Through thy protection they are moÌ„strous thriuers Not like the Dutchmen in base Doyts and Stiuers For there you may see many a greedy grout-head Withâ—â—â— or wit or fence almost without-head â—eld and esteem'd a man whose zeale is feruant And makes a shew as he were not your seruant To tell this newes I came from many a mile hence â—or we doe know ther 's ods twixt talke and silence With that the smug-fac'd Pluto shook his vestment Deepe ruminating what the weighty Ieftment Calling to mind old Dâ—â—â—â—â—â— Hearball With Taciturnity and Actions verball Quoth he I care for neither Friend or Kinsman Nor doe I value honesty two pinnes man â—â—â— 't is a Maxime Mortals cannot hinder The doughty deeds of Wakefields huffe cap Pinder Are not so pleasant as the faire Aurora When Niâ—â—â—d rudely plaid on his Bandora For 't is not fit that â—ny Turke or Persian Should in a Cloke-â—â—g hide a feauer Tertian Because the Dog-starte in his cold Meridian Might arme himselfe in fury most quotidian With that most quick a Pettifoggers tongue went â—Well oild with Aâ—â—nâ—â— Argent or such vnguent â—s't â—it quoth he here should be such incroachment By such whose fathers ne'r know what a Coachment Or shall their Scutchions fairly be indorsed Who riding backward iudishly were horsed For though in Iâ—â—â—â— it be â—â—re and frequent Where to the wall most commonly the weak went Yet neither can the Soldan or the Sophy Shew any Presidents for such a Trophy By Rules of Logicke he 's a kind a Catiue And makes no reckoning of his Country natiue That doth with feeble strength loue with derision And without bloudshed makes a deepe incision Why should a man lay either life or limâ—ny To be endangered by a falling Chimney For though the prosecution may be quaintly Yet may the execution end but faintly Let 's call to mind the famous acts of Hector When aged Ganymede carousing Nectar Did leaue the Greekes much matter to repine on Vntill the Woodden Horse of trusty Synon Foald a whole litter of mad Colts in Harnesse As furious as the host of Holopherneâ—â— But to the purpose here 's the long and short out All that is said hath not beene much important Nor can it be that what is spoke is meant all Of any thing
befall the Barne How quickly it the fathers wit could learne So thou nor male nor female art by right But both in one a true Hermaphrodite That man may well be call'd an idle mome That mocks the Cocke because he weares a combe A man to better vse may put his tongue Then flowt an Asse because his eares be long To thee alone in Tropes sophisticall These lines are writ in speeches mysticall The Moones own man that bears the bush of them May rue the time that e'r thy selfe wast borne Thou hast beene whereas he hath neuer beene And seene more sights then Luna's man hath seene Cast lots with him for why I thinke it fit Thou hadst his bush to shrowd thy nat'rall wit T is pitty Calculations of thy birth Should be diuulg'd about this massie earth For out of it each foole would matter pike By Obseruation to beget thy like Incipit Robertus Taxley Now Mounsieur Coriat enuy not the Sculler Here 's one would haue thy coat of many a culler And as befits thy person he thinks best Thou had'st a cap and Cocks-combe for thy crest And 'cause a traueller may boldly lye A whetstone Embleme-wise must hang thereby And at the last he ends in pleasant sort And saies Thy booke and thee were made for sport Incipit Iohannes Strangwaies This Gentleman thy trauels doth aduance Aboue Kemps Norwich anticke Morris-dance And hauing grac'd thy fame with praises meet Talkes of thy shooes and of thy galled feet And how thou thought'st the Iewes were too too cruel And ranst away from them to saue thy iewel Thy heeles there help'd thee nimbly in thy flight Since which thy hands haue done much more to wright Incipit Gulielmus Clauel Here 's one whose Muse was couiur'd from her sleep And being rapt with admiration deepe Thy booke he titles Gogmogog the huge Thy shield of safety and thy wits refuge Iohannes Scorie Here 's one that mounts thy same beneath the sky And makes thee famous for Cosmography He saies but sure he either iests or flouts Thou drew'st a Map when first thou pist thy clouts And how it was allotted thee by fate As soone as thou wast borne to talke and prate For as a candle 's stuft with cotton weeke So thou art cramm'd vp to the brim with Greeke As Asia and to Affricke prethee goe Let them like Europe thy rare vertues know And make thy Booke thy Buckler 'gainst all euill Whose grim aspect will terrifie the diuell Iohannes Donne Another here thy lâ—ooke doth much commend That none can studie it to any end Without or head or foot or top or taile Yet like a sauage monster dares assaile The front of sadnesse who with anticke grinning Applauds thee without ending or beginning Great Lunaticke I thinke thou'lt ne'r be full Vntill the world cannot containe thy skull And like a foot-ball cram the vaulty skies Because earth aire nor sea cannot suffice The greatnesse of thy Fame thy booke and thee All three in one and one compact of three Yet here 's a Prophecie concernes thee much Which doth thy booke and thee too neerely tutch Both gulls and gallants thy poore brat bereaues And from thy booke shall rend both lims leaues To wrap vp pepper ginger cloues and mace And drie Tobacco in each skuruie place To fold vp drugs and pilles for Physicks vse And serue for each Mechanicall abuse But I not minding with thy state to slatter Thinke 't will be vs'd in many a priuie matter Thou o'r thy wit dost keepe such carefull watch That from thee one can hardly any catch And sooth to say his conscience is but little Which in his wants would seeke to rob the Spittle Thy wits exchequer hath bin ouer-kinde That much I feare there 's little left behinde But thou braue man bidst freely farewell it We 'll raise Fifteenes and Subsidies of wit Shall fill thy seruiceable pate againe Whose poÌ„drous waight shal tire thy bearing brain Then seare not man but spend it whilst thou hast it To doe thy Countrey seruice 't is not wasted This Author saies thy book o'r-throwes him quite And therefore bids both it and thee good night The greatnesse of it puts him in such feares That he 'll reade neither all nor none he sweares Richardus Martin This friend of thine thy wisedome cannot mocke Yet he intitles thee an Od comb'd cocke 'T had bin all one if at thy comming home He had but plac'd the cocke before the combe To make thy name more learnedly appeare He calls thee here an Od comb'd Chanticleere I knew not who this should bee but it is the next English to Mr. Laurence Whitakers Out-landish Now here 's another like a true Attourney Pleades very wisely and applauds thy iourney And faies thy trauels thou didst so decipher As well the world may see thou art no cipher And how thy booke so liuely out doth show thee That whosoe'r doth see 't must truly know thee Hugo Holland This man doth praise thy totterd ragged shirt Thy shooes and shanks at all he hath a flirst And like a patient bearing Asse he saies Thou bear'st thy load through faire foulest waies And for in carriage thou didst proue so able At night thou laist with Iades within a stable Thou wast not onely in thy pace an asse But thou all other asses didst surpasse All beasts in knowledge were to thee but weake For thou the tongue of Balaamâ— asse didst speake But much I feare thy booke in print will staine Because thou art not di'da â—â—â— in graine The Preamble to the Paralel and the Epilogue Againe this Author thinkes it no great slander To say thou fitly maist be call'd a Gander Braue trotting traueller thy fame he hisses And makes thy wit inferiour to Vlisses And if he laugh not at thee much he feares In angry spleene thou 'lt haue him by the cares Therefore hee 'l laugh at thee and so will I. In hope to scape thy furious rage thereby Next in the ancient famous Cambrian tongue To call thee noddy he accounts no wrong T' interpret this I need to goe to Schoole I wot not what he meanes except a â—â—â— Robertus Riccomontanus A large relation this thy friend did write Describing thee a monstrous man of might And bids thee venter such another taske And at thy backe returne hee 'll haue a caske Much bigger then the Heidelbergian bumbard To keepe thy works that neuer can be numberd Christopherus Brooke Eboraconsit This Gentleman in some vnmeasur'd measure Compares thee vnto Homer and to Caesar. Old Homers Iliads are but idle tales Waigh'd with thy works thy booke will turne the cales And like great Caesar he doth thee commend For thou like him hast all thy trauels penn'd But yet me thinks he playes the merry foxe And in thy praises writes a Paradoxe Iohannes Hoskins Cabalisticall or Horse verse Hold holla holla weehee stand I say Here 's one with horse-verse doth thy praise dissplay Without all sence or
deem'd true sometimes sometimes be'iyd As Thieues are iudged so haue Bookes agen As many censures almost as are men And as their faults are different in degree Some Thieues are hang'd some Books are burnt we see Some Thieues are for their small offences whip't All Bookes are prest except a Manuscript As Thieues are buryed when the Law is paid So some Bookes in obliuions graue are laid The Ialors keepe the Thieues and much regards The strength of fetters locks bolts grates wards And will know when and how abroad they goe And vnto Bookes the Stationersâ— are so Still Books and Thieues in one conceit doe ioyne For if you marke them they are all for coyne Some Thieues exceeding braue a man may finde In Sattin and their cloakes with veluet linde And some Bookes haue gay coats vnto their backs When as their insides goods and goodnesse lacks Same Bookes are all betattered torne and rent Some Thieues endure a ragged punishment Some Thieues may come their sorrows to increase Before a shallow Officer of peace One that can cough call knaue and with non-sense Commit before he know for what offence A Booke somtimes doth proue a Thiefes true friend And doth preserue him from a hanging end For let a man at any Sessions looke And still some Thieues are saued by their Booke And so some Bookes to coxcombs hands may come Who can cry pish and mew and tush and hum Condemne ere they haue read or throughly scand Abusing what they cannot vnderstand Some Thieues are like a Horne-booke and begin Their A.B.C. of filching with a pin Their Primmer is a poynt and then their Psalter May picke a pocket and come neere a Halter Then with long practice in these rudiments To breake a house may be his Accidence And vsing of his skill thus day by day By Grammar he may rob vpon the way Vntill at last to weare it be his hap A Tiburne Tippet or old Stories Cap. That is the high'st degree which they can take An end to all their studies there they make For amongst Thieues not one amongst a score If they be rais'd so high they 'l steale no more Thus the comparisons hold still you see To Whores and Thieues Bookes may compared bee All are like Actors in this wauering age They enter all vpon the worlds great Stage Some gaine applause and some doe act amisse And exit from the scaffold with a hisse Now if my Whore or Thiefe play well their parts Giue them their due applaud their good deserts If ill to Newgate hisse them or Bridewell To any place Hull Halifax or Hell And thus the Thiefe and Booke ioyne both in one Both hauing made an END they both haue DON THE PRAISE AND VERTVE OF a IAYLE and IAYLERS WITH THE MOST EXCELLENT MYSTERIE and necessary vse of all sorts of Hanging ALSO A TOVCH AT TYBVRNE FOR A PERIOD AND THE AVTHORS FREE LEAVE TO LET THEM be hangd who are offended at the Booke without cause DEDICATED To the a Reader you must note that this Gentleman did send me from the Fairne Iland a barrell of Gulls and Cormotant egges by â—â—â—â—â—â—ing of which I haue attained to the vnderstanding of many words which our Gulls and Cormotants doe speaks here abouâ—â—â— Sensible Reasonable Affable Amiable Acceptable minded Honourable in VVit Iudgement and Vnderstanding Able Robert Rugge Gentleman Reare Adelantado of the Holy Iland the Fairne and the Staples on the Coast of Northumbria No hanging Tap'strie Quilt or Couerlet This dedication of my wit could get No Mattresse Blanket Sheet or Featherbed Could haue these labours of my working head But cold by nature from my Nurses dugge My inclination still hath lou'd a Rugge Which makes my thankefull Muse thus bold to be To consecrate this worthlesse worth to thee Thou that within those happy Iles doest bide Which Neptunes waues doe from our Land diuide Where in the Holy Iland stands a Fort That can defend and iniuries retort That doth command a goodly Hauen nigh Wherein a hundred ships may safely lye Thou in the b The Fairne Iland standing 7. miles from the Holy Iland into the Sea the Holy Iland stands seuen miles from Barwiske In the Fairne all sorts of Sea-fowle breed in such abundance as you cannot step but vpon Egges or Fowle They misse not to lay on Saint Markes day and a fortnight after Lammas there is none to be seene The Staple Ilands belong to the Fairne and stand two miles from it into the Sea where the Fowle vpon the rockes like pinacles are so thicke both vpon the sides and vpon the tops and with such curiosity build their nests as the wit of man cannot lay that egge in his place againe that is once taken vp to abide in the same place Vpon their flight the Sea is couered for halfe a mile and the heauens aboue head obscured for the present Fairne and Staples bearst such sway That all the dwellers there doe thee obey Where Fowle are all thy faire inhabitants Where thou Commander of the Cormorants Grand Gouernour of Guls of Geese and Ganders O'r whom thou art none of the leaft Commanders Whereas sometimes thou canst not stirre thy legs But thou must tread on tributary egs For they like honest true plaine-dealing folkes Pay thee the custome of their whites and yolkes Which to thy friends oft-times transported be As late thou sentst abarrell-full to me And in requit all to so good a friend This Prison and this Hanging here I send Because within the c There is but one house there all the dwellers else beâ—â—â— Sea-fowle who will neither know offences not punishâ—â—â— Fairne and Staples teo The dwellers doe as they doe please to doe Their pride and lust their stealing and their treasâ—â— Is all impouted to their want of reason I therefore haue made bold to send thee this To shew them what a Iayle and Hanging is Thou hast from Hermes suck'd the Quintessence Of quicke Inuention and of Eloquence And thou so well doest loue good wittie Bookes That makes thee like Apollo in thy lookes For nature hath thy visage so much grac'd That there 's the ensigne of true friendship plac'd A chaulkie face that 's like a pewter spoone Or buttermilke or greene cheese or the meone Are either such as kill themselues with care Or hide-bound miserable wretches are Giue me the man whose colour and prospect Like Titan when it doth on gold reflect And if his purse be equall to his will Hee 'l then be frolicke free and iouiall still And such a one my worthy friend art thou To whom I dedicate this Pamphlet now And I implore the Heau'ns to proue so kinde To keepe thy state according to thy minà e Yours with my best wishes IOHN TAYLOR THE VERTVE OF AIAYLE AND NECESSITIE OF HANGING MY free-borne Muse of bondage rudely treats And strange vagaries in my Brain-pau beats Whilst I vnmaske vnuisor or vnueile The vertues of a Iaylot and a Iayle And then of
the poorer in spirit though not in purse but if a proud Diues handle it he will esteeme it worse then his Dogges if a proud Courtier reade it hee will teare it to tatters whilst a Generous Affable Gentleman will louingly entertaine it If beauty chance to behold it it will bid it welcome if Pride stand not in the way if a strong man that is not proud of it grow acquainted with the contents of my meaning I thinke it will content him if Parents or children or all or any body that are not poysoned with pride doe but see or heare it distinctly read and vnderstand it with iudgement I am perswaded it will passe and repasse with friendly vsage but if any of the contrary faction come within the Aire of it they will vse it in some sort as bad as the hangman will vse them And So much for To no matter who It is no great matter where this be read for as a good man being banished is neuer out of his Country because all Countries are his so my Booke in Church Court Citty Countrey or Cottage is one and the same it may perhaps alter the place where it comes from worse to better but the place can neuer alter the honest intents of it from better to worse Therefore no great matter where To be read there is matter why because it strikes at the roote of a most deadly sinne which almost as bad as an vniuersall deluge hath ouerflowed the most part of the world and though the Preachers on Earth Gods Trumpets and Ambassadours from Heauen doe diligently and daily strike at this abomination with the eternall Sword of the euerlasting Word yet what they cut downe in the day like Mushromes it growes vp againe thicke and threeâ—old in the night for whilst the husband-man sleepes the enuious man sowes tares Wherefore I hauing a talent of knowledge lent me by which I know that I must render an account one day how I haue imployed it and hauing written neere forty seuerall Pamphlets in former times I purpose henceforward God willing to redeeme the time I haue so mis-spent imploying my Pen in such exercises which though they be not free from a rellish of mirth yet they shall be cleare from profanation scurrillity or obsceannesse I doe know Pride is at such a height that my Mole-hill Muse can neuer by mineing at her foote shake her head for where Diuinity preuailes not Poetry in meddling doth but shew the Suns brightnes with a Candle Yet forasmuch as I know that Pride cast Angels out of Heauen made diuels in hell threw man out of Paradise was a maine causer of the drowning of the first World is a deuourer of this world and shall euer be accursed in the world to come by this knowledge I haue with a mix'd inuectiue mildnesse shewed in this Booke the vanities of all sorts of Pride not that I hope for amendment but to shew my honest intendment I haue seene sixe or seuen fashion hunting Gallants together sit scorning and deriding a better man then themselues onely because either his Hat was of the old Blocke or that his Ruffe was not so richly lac'd his Cloake hath beene too plaine his Beard of the old translation his Bootes and Spurres of the precedent second edition and for such slight occasions a man hath beene slighted ieerd and wonderd at as if he had beene but a Zany to the fashion or a man made for the purpose for them to whet their scorne vpon and therefore to reade this there is a matter why It is not much matter when for be it read on Friday the Turks Holyday on Saturday the Iewes Sabbath on Sunday the Lords Day or on any day or all dayes nights or houres there is Diuinitie with Alaâ—ritie Poetrie with mirth and euery thing so interwouen one with another that if it please not the generality yet I hope in particularitie it will tolerably censur'd by all that hate Pride and loue humility And therefore not much matter when IOHN TAYLOR A FEW LINES TO SMALL PVRPOSE AGAINST THE SCANDALOVS ASPERSIONS that are either maliciously or ignorantly cast vpon the Poets and Poems of these Times THere doth a strange and true opinion runne That Poets write much worse then they haue don And how so poore their daily writings are As though their best inuentions were thread-bare And how no new things from them now do spring But all hath ref'rence from some other thing And that their daily doings doe reueale How they from one another filch and steale As if amongst them 't were a statute made That they may freely vse the theeuing trade And some there are that will not sticke to say That many Poets liuing at this day Who haue the Hebrew Latine Greeke at will And in th' Italian and the French haue skill These are the greatest theeues they say of all That vse the Trade or Art Poeticall For ancient Bards and Poets in strange toungs Compiled haue their verses and their songs And those to whoÌ„ those tongues are rightly known Translating them make others verse their owne As one that steales a Cloake and presently Makes it his owne by alt'ring of the dye So whole bookes and whole sentences haue bin Stolne and the stealers great applause did win And by their filching thought great men of fame By those that knew not the right Authors name For mine owne part my Conscience witnesse is In'er was guilty of such theft as this Vnto such robbery I could neuer reach Because I vnderstand no forreigne speach To prooue that I am from such filching free Latin and French are heathen-Greeke to me The Grecian and the Hebrew Charactars I know as well as I can reach the Stars The sweet Italian and the Chip Chop Dutch I know the man i' th Moone can speake as much Should I from English Authors but purloyne It would be soone found counterseited coyne Then since I cannot steale but some will spy â—le truely vse mine owne let others lye Yet to excuse the writers that now write Because they bring no better things to light 'T is because bounty from the world is fled True liberality is almost dead Reward is lodg'd in darke obliuion deep Bewitch't I thinke into an endlesse sleepe That though a man in study take great paines And empt his veines puluerize his braines To write a Poem well which being writ With all his Iudgement Reason Art and Wit And at his owne charge print and pay for all And giue away most free and liberall Two three or foure or fiue hundred bookes For his reward he shall haue nods and lookes That all the profit a mans paines hath gat Will not suffice one meale to feed a Cat. Yet still Noble Westminster thou still art free And for thy bounty I am bound to thee For hadst not thou and thy Inhabitants From Time to Time relieu'd and help'd my want I had long since bid Poetry adieu And therefore still my thankes shall be
from whom it was so free of the loane of this Lent that would bee knowne First then you must conceiue that the true Etimologie or ancient name of this Lent is Lean-tide which being Anagramatiz'd Landit for the chiefeâ—prouision that he is furnished withall being fish and such sea-faring fare that except he land it there will bee but cold takings in the fish markets for Iack a Lent hath no societie affinitie or propinquitie with flesh and blood and by reason of his leannesse as Nymshag an acient Vtopian Philosopher declares in his Treatise of the Antiquitie of Ginger-bread Lib. 7. Pag. 30000. hee should haue beene a foot man to a Prince of that Empire named Lurguish Haddernot but Lent shewed him the tricke of a right footman and ran away from him faster then an Irish Lackquey and from that time to this was neuer seenâ— in Vtopia Besides he hath the Art of Legerdemaine beyond all the Iuglers in Egypt or Europe for with a tricke that he hath he is in England Scotland France Ireland and the most part of the Christian world at one and the selfe same time yet for all this nimblenesse and quicke agility he was neuer seene to sweare which is no maruell because he hath not any fat or pinguidity in his incorporeall corps He hath a wise named Fasting as leane as himselfe yet sure I thinke she is as honest as barren but it were very dangerous for an Epicure or a Puritan to haue a bastard by her for there were no other hope but that the father of the brat if it should proue male would tutor it in all disobedience against both Lent and Fasting for although Lent and Abstinence be but forty dayes endurance yet to these valiant men of their teeth it seemes forty yeeres for they put the Letter e into the word Fast and turne it into Feast And though a man eate fish till his guts crack yet if he eate no flesh he fasts because he eates as fast as he can For the word Fast is to be taken in many sences as to fast from feeding and to feed fast to be bown to fast and to be bound fast The Fast from feeding is diuers wayes performed 1 Some there are that fast for pure deuotion with a zealous abstinence from any kind of corporall foode for a space because they will bring downe and curbe their vnbridled affections and tame their fleshly desires that so the exercise of spirituall contemplation may be the more seruent their repentance more vnfained and their prayers more acceptable 2 Another Fast is hypocriticall or sophisticall as a holy Maid that inioyned her selfe to abstaine foure dayes from any meate whatsoeuer and being locked vp close in a roome she had nothing but her two Books to feede vpon but the Bookes were two painted Boxes made in the forme of great Bibles with claspes and bosses the inside not hauing one word of God in them nor any fault escaped in the printing but the one well fild with Suckets and sweet meates and the other with Wine vpon which this deuout Votary did fast with zealous meditation eating vp the contents of one Booke and drinking contentedly the other Then there is a Fast called in spight of your teeth and that is Will yee nill yee when a mans stomacke is in Folio and knowes not where to haue a dinner in Decimo sexto This Fast I haue often met withall at the Court and at diuers great mens houses not because there hath wanted meat but because some hâ—â—â— wanted manners and I haue wanted impâ—dence But Iack a Lents Fast is otherwise then â—â—â—â— these for I am as willing to fast with him as â—â—â—â— feast with Shrouetide for hee hath an army â—â—â—â— various dishes an hoast of diuers fishes wâ—â—â— fallets sawces sweet meates Wine Aâ—â—â— Beere fruit rootes Reasons Almonds Spices â— with which I haue often and care not mucâ— to doe more often made as good a shiftâ—â—â—â—â—â— fast and with as good a zeale performed it â—â—â—â— a Brownist will goe to plow vpon a Christmas day Thus hauing shewed the originall of this Iack it followes next that I declare his yeerely entertainâ—ment into this I le of Great Britaine what priuiledges he hath to whom he is best welcome who are glad of his departure what friends or foes he hath and when he inhabiteth all the yeere after his going from hence Alwayes before Lent there comes wadling fat grosse bursten-gutted groome called Shroue-Tuesday one whose manners shewes theâ—â— he is better fed then taught and indeed he is the onely monster for feeding amongst all the dayes of the yeere for he denoures more fâ—â—â— in foureteene houres then this whole Kingdome doth or at the least should doe in â—â—â—â— weekes after such boyling and broyling such roasting and toasting such stewing and breâ—ing such baking frying mincing cutting caruing deuouring and gorbellyed gurmoâ—â— dizing that a man would thinke people did take in two months prouision at once into their paunches or that they did ballast their bellâ—â—â— with meate for a voyage to Constantinople or â—â—â—â— the West Indies Moreouer it is a goodly fight to see how the Cookes in Great mens Kitchins doe fry in their masters suet and sweat in their own grease that if euer a Cooke be worth the â—â—â—â—ting it is when Shroue-Tuesday is in towne foâ—â— he is so stued and larded roasted basted and almost ouer-roasted that a man may eate the rawest bit of him and neuer take a surfet In a word they are that day extreme cholericke and too hot for any man to meddle with being Monarchs of the Marow-bones Marquesses of the Mutton Lords high Regents of the Spit and the Kettle Barons of the Gridiron and sole Commanders of the Frying-pan And all this hurly burly is for no other purpose but to stop the mouth of this Land-wheale Shroue-Tuesday At whose entrance in the morning all the whole Kingdome is in quiet but by that time the clocke strikes eleuen which by the helpe of a knauish Sexton is commonly before nine then there is a bell rung cald The Pancake Bell the sound whereof makes thousands of people distracted and forgetfull either of manner or humanitie Then there is a thing clad wheaten flowre which the sulphory Necromanticke Cookes doe mingle with water egges spice and other tragicall magicall inchantments and then they put it by little and little into a Frying-pan of boyling suet where it makes a confused dismall hissing like the Learnean Snakes in the reeds of Acheron â—tix or Phlegeton vntill at last by the skill of the Cooke it is transform'd into the forme of a Flap-iack which in our translation is cald a Pancake which ominous incantation the ignorant people doe deuoure very greedily hauing for the most part well dined before but they haue no sooner swallowed that sweet candyed baite but straight their wits forsake them and they runne starke mad assembling in routs and throngs numberlesse of vngouerned numbers with vnciuill ciuill commotions
misbegotten sonne Gentility in a wrong line may run And thus soule lust to worship may prefer The mungrell Issue of a Fruterer Or yeoman of the Bottles it may be Or some vnmannerd rascall worse then he And though the Stripling vp in yeeres doth grow He shall want wit his father how to know But he shall know one that will father him And with good bringing vp maintaine him trim And loues him with affection as he were His owne most nat'rall * In my English Latine Richard Swary I finde or coynd this worthy word The Heralds of this Office dwell at Nâ—â—â—â—â— Primogeniter The old Knight dyes and freely giues him all And he being growne a Gallant faire and tall If with his cursed wealth he purchase can To wed the Daughter of some Nobleman And being thus enaebled much thereby Through his Alliance with Nobility He may in time possesse an honour'd state Which God doth curse and all good people hate Then shall be search'd it possible it be Before Canis birth to finde his Petigree Then is some famous coat of Armes contriu'd From many worthy families deriu'd And thus may Lust Wealth rayse many a Clown To Reputation and to high Renowne Thus many good men are deceiu'd perhaps In bowing of their knees and dossing Caps And courteously commit Idolatry To a proud branch of Lust and Letchery For my part I want meanes to gull men so I may be gull'd with others goodly show If any finde my Children meate or cloth I got them in my sleepe I 'l take mine oth I cannot be deceiued in my Heyres As some that are my betters may in theirs And as no Bastards my free mind perplexe So I want Iealousies which some men vexe Should thousands such as Hercules combine T' inspire with Iealousie this brest of mine Nor all the Goatish soule luxurious brood Could not possesse me with that frantike mood She that I haue I know her continence And she as well doth know my confidence And yet for ought you know both she and I May want both honesty and Iealousie Though of our selues our knowledge is but small Yet somewhat we doe know and God knowes all The man whose wife will be a whore indeed His Iealousie stands but in little steed Nor can holts locks or walls of brasse suffice Brâ—â— hundred hands nor Arges eyes Not all the wit in man or Diuels pate Can alter any mans allotted fate For if a Woman be to lewdnesse giuen And is not guided with the grace of Heauen Shee will finde oportunity and time Inspight of watch or ward to doe the Crime But if she be with heauenly blessings grac't As outward beautifull and inward chaste Then may soule iealousie and false suspition Against her nature alter her condition From good to bad from bad to naught and worse And turne her vertues to a vicious course For nothing can an honest minde infect So soone as iealousie and false suspect And this soule Fury many times hath wrought To make the bad worse and the good stark naught But neuer yet by it as I could heare The good or bad one iot the better were And therefore be my wife or good or ill I iealousie doe want and want it will I want dissimulation to appeare A friend to those to whom I hatred beare I want the knowledge of the thriuing Art A holy outside and a hollow heart Put as I am the same I 'l euer seeme Not worse or better in mine owne esteeme For what attire soe'r my corps doth hide Or whether I doe goe on foot or ride Or were I with the Kings high fauour grac'd Or at a great Lords boord at dinner plac'd And should I haue all this I were no more But a poore Waterman that at his Oare Doth for a liuing labour tug and pull And carries both the Gallant and the Gull How-euer others doe esteeme of me Yet as I am I know my selfe to be If I doe chance to be in company Well welcom'd amongst true Gentility I know in them it is a courteous part And that me it can be no desert I want that high esteemed excellence Of sustian or Mockado Eloquence To flourish o'r or bumbast out my stile To make such as not vnder stand me smile Yet i with Non-sence could contingerate With Catophiscoes Terragrophicate And make my selfe admir'd immediately Of such as vnderstand no more then I. Besides I want the knowledge and the skill How these my lines may pasle now well or ill For as a learned Poet lately writ With a comparison comparing fit Mens writings and inuentions like to Cheese Which with some stomacks very well agrees Some loue it and some cannot well disgest it Some eare not for it and some quite derest it And so my lines to sundry hands may come Some pleasing and displeasing vnto some One likes it well and very well commends it A second sweares 't is naught and madly rends it A third cries mew and serues his iawes awry And in a scornfull humour layes it by Thus some like all some somwhat some nothing And one mans liking is anothers lothing I want hope to please all men where I come I want despaire and hope I shall please some I want ingratitude to friends I want A willing mind what 's written to recant I want 'gainst any man peculiar spite I want a selfe-loue vnto what I write I want some friends that would my want supply I want some foes that would my patience try If all things that I want I here should tell To a large volume then my booke would swell For though my selfe my wants doe boldly beare My wants of such great weight and number are That sure the burden of the things I want Would breake the backe of any Elephant Et Curo I Care ICare to thinke vpon the Theame I write For Care is carefull yeelding no delight And though Care flowes like a continuall streame Yet Care is but a very barren Theame Vpon I care was my swift Muse could iog Like to an Irish Lackey o'r a bog But my poore wit must worke vpon I care Which is a subiect like my wit most bare I care to keepe my wife in that degree As that she alwayes might my equall be And I doe care and at all times endeuer That she to haue the mastership shall neuer I Care and so must all that mortall are For from our births vnto out graues our care Attends on vs in number like our sinnes And sticks vnto vs close as doe our skins For the true Anagram of * Learned Latine Lads tell me that Curo comes neere curse Care is Race Which shewes that whilst we on the earth haue place So many miseries doe vs insnare That all our life is but a Race of Care And when I call my life vnto account To such great numbers doe my Cares amount That Cares on Cares my mind so much doe lade As i of nothing else but Cares were
many times the text we doe forget Thinke but of this and then the yeere before Must be abated halfe or some what more Thus many a Christian sixty yeeres hath trod The earth and not six months hath sem'd his God When we our liues vnequally thus share In thinking of it I am full of care I care in all my actions so to liue That no occasion of offence I giue To any man with either pen or tongue In name or same or goods to doe them wrong For he 's the greatest murderer aliue That doth a man of his good name depriue With base calumnious slanders and false liess T is the worst villany of villanies To blast a good mans name with scandals breath Makes his dishonor long furuiue his death For Infamie's a colour dyde in graine Which scarcebliuion can wash out againe As nothing's dearer then a mans good name So nothing wounds more deeper then desame Nature gaue man a paire of eares and eyes And but one tongue which certainely implies That though our sight and hearing still is free â—â— must we not speake all we heare or see Then he 's a Viper that doth lyes inuent To worke thereby anothers detriment T is sinne to slander a notorious Knaue But sinne and shame a good man to depraue Thus good or bad or whatsoe'r they are To doe to neither of them wrong I care I care to get good Bookes and I take heed And care what I doe either write or read Though some through ignorance some through spite â—â— said that I can neither read nor write â—â— though my lines no Scholership proclaime â—â— I at learning haue a kind of ayme And I haue gatherd much good obseruations From many humane and diuine translations â— was well entred forty Winters since â—â— farre as possum in my Accidence And reading but from possum to posset There I was mir'd and could no further get Which when I thinke vpon with mind deiected â—â— care to thinke how learning I neglected The poet * Part of the Bookes of â—â—ry that I haue read Quid or Ouid if you will Being in English much hath helpt my skill And Homer too and Virgil I haue seene And reading them I haue much better'd beene â—â—frey of Bulloyne well by Fairfax done â—â—â— that much loue hath rightly wonne Did Chaucer Sidney Spencer Daniel Nash â—â—dip'd my finger where they vs'd to wash As I haue read these Poets I haue noted * Bookes that I haue read of Poesie Much good which in my memory is quoted Of Histories I haue perusde some store As no man of my function hath done more The Golden legend I did ouer tosse And found the Gold mixt with a deale of drosse â—â— haue read Plutarchs Morals and his Liues And like a Bee suckt Hony from those Hiues â—sepbus of the Iewes Knowles of the Turks Marcus Aurelius and Gâ—â— works â—yd Grimstane Montaigne and Suetonius Agrippa whom some call Cornelius Graue â—â—â— and Câ—â—bden Purchas Speed Did Monumentall â—â—â— and Hollinshead And that sole Booke of Bookes which God hath giuen The â—â—â— Testanicâ—ts of heauen That I haue read and I with care confesse My selfe unworthy of such happinesse And many more good Bookes I haue with care Lookt on their goods and neuer stole their ware For no booke to my hands could euer come If it were but the Treatise of Tom Thumb Or Scoggins Iests or any simple play Or monstrous nowes came Trundling in my way All these and ten times more some good some bad I haue from them much obseruation had And so with care and study I haue writ These bookes the issue of a barren wit The most of them are verse but I suppose It is much ease to name them here in prose The names of many of the bookes that I haue written First the Sculler Vpon Coriat three merry bookes called Odcombs complaint Coriats resurrection and Laugh and be fat The nipping or snipping of Abuses Two mad things against Fenor Taylors Vrania The marriage of the Princesse An Elegy on Prince Henry Two bookes of all the Kings of England Three weekes three dayes and three houres obseruations in Germany Trauels to Scotland Trauels to Prague in Bohemia An Englishmans loue to Bohemia The Bible in verse The Booke of Martyrs in verse The praise of Hempseed A kicksy winsy The great O Toole Iacke a Lent The praise of Beggery Taylors Goose. Faire and soule weather The life and death of the Virgin Mary The Whip of Pride And lastly since the reigne of th' Emperour * I was much beholding to this Emperors name to make vp the meeter OTTO Was neuer seene the like of TAYLORS MOTTO All these and some which I haue quite forgot With care as is aforesaid I haue wrote I care how to conclude this carefull straine In care I care how to get out againe I care for food and lodging fire and rayment And what I owe I care to make good payment But most of all I care and will endeuer To liue so carefull that I may liue euer Thus without wronging any man a iot I shew I haue what euery man hath notâ— My wants are such that I forgiue them free That would but steale the most of them from me My cares are many as I here expresse Poore couzin Germans vnto carelesnesse I haue a knowledge some men will read this I want the knowledge how their liking is I care in all that I herein haue pend To please the good and shew the bad to mend And those that will not thus be satisfi'd I haue a spirit that doth them deride I flattry want mens likings to obtaine I care to loue those that loue me againe Thus be mens iudgements steady or vnsteady To like my Booke the care is tane already The Prouerb sayes that haste makes often waste Then what is waste impute it to my haste This Booke was written not that here I bosst Put houres together in three dayes at most And giue me but my breakfast I 'l maintaine To write another e'r I eate againe But well or ill or howsoe'r t is pend Lik't as you list and so I make an END ODCOMBS COMPLAINT OR CORIATS FVNERALL EPICEDIVM OR DEATH-SONG VPON HIS late-reported drowning With his Epitaph in the Barmuda and Vtopian tongues And translated into English by IOHN TAYLOR The Authour in his owne defence IF any where my lines doe fall out lame I made them so in merriment and game For be they wide or side or long or short All 's one to me I writ them but in sport Yet I would haue the Reader thus much know ' That when I list my simple skill to show In poesie I could both read and spell I know my Dactils and my Spondees well My true proportion and my equall measure What accent must be short and what at leasure How to transpose my words from place to place To giue my poesie the greater grace Either in Pastorall or
hest To great Constantinople brought his guest Where nothing that may honour him omitting His entertainement to his state was fitting There in all pleasure he himselfe disports Conuersing daily with such braue consorts As Turkes and Tartars Englishmen and Greekes That he thinkes ages yeeres and yeeres but weekes That 's wasted in this rare time stealing chat All his delight 's in nothing else but that But his high honour further to relate I 'l sing the new aduancement of his state Some English Gentlemen with him consulted And he as nat'rally with them constulted Where they perceiuing his deserts were great They striu'd to mount him into honours seat And being found of an vnmatched spright He there was double dub'd a doughty Knight Rise vp sir Thomas worship'd mayst thoube Of people all that are as wise as thee Now rap't with ioy my Muse must needs record How he was knighted with a royall sword But into what a puzzell now got I am They say it was the Bilbo of King Priam The fatall blade which he in fury drew When in reuenge the Mirmidons he flew Im pell mel vengeance for great Hectors bane Who by Achillis faire foule-play was slaine That sword that mow'd the Grecians like a sithe That sword that made victorious Troyans blithe That sword that through so many dangers rub'd That famous sword hath Monsier Coriat dub'd What though 't was rusty spight of cankerd rust The memory of honour liues in dust 'T was no disgrace it was so rusty shap'd It had like Coriat many a scowring scap'd BVt 'mongst the rest this must not be forgot How he did from Constantinople trot And how a solemne counsell there decreed That he should trauell in a Grecian weede To this for his owne safety they doe woo him Because the language is so nat'rall to him And then bespake a sober sage wise fellow When wine had made them all in general mellow Take heed quoth he I counsell you beware That of your selfe you haue a speciall care You be not taken for a French-man for The Turks in these parts doe the French abhor Since Godsries times that braue bold Bullen Duke Who put them all to shame and rough rebuke And made the Sarasins by Millions bleed And holy Toombe from faithlesse fiends he freed Wherefore quoth he in friendship I aduise you T' auoid suspect 't were best we Circumcise you And then you freely may through perils passe Despight the Turks so like a Grecian Asse Noman with Linxes eyes will deeme you other And thus you safely may suspition smother Sir Thomas gaue this fellowes speech the hearing But told him 't was too heauy for his bearing For why fall backe fall edge come good come ill He vow'd to keepe his fore-mans fore-skin still This resolution was no sooner spoken The friendly counsell was dismist and broken Where after leaue was tane twixt him and them He tooke his iourny toward Ierusalem And what he can obserue 'twixt morne and night With due obseruance he doth daily write That if my iudgement be not much mistooke An Elephant will scarce support his booke For he in fiue months built a paper hulke And this must be ten times of greater buike O Pauls-Church-yard I onely pitty thee Thou onely thou shalt most encumbred bee Thou from the Presse are prest to be opprest With many a farfetch'd home-brought Odcomb iest But yet I know the Stationers are wise And well do know wherein the danger lies For to such inconuenience they 'l not enter But suffer Coriat to abide th'aduenter Because his Gyant volume is so large They 'l giue sir Thomas leaue to beare the charge That man is mad who changes gold for drosse And so were they to buy a certaine losse Let him that got and bore the Barne still breed it And nurse disburse and foster cloath and feed it THus hath my Muse as fortune her allotted Both run and rid and gallopt ambled trotted To skyes and seas and to blacke hell below In seruile duty that my loue doth owe. My captiue thoughts like trusty seruants to him Striue how they any way may seruice doe him To serue his turne like Prentices they gree Ioue send Sir Thomas home to make them free Epilogue to Sir Thomas Coriat vpon his name VVHy haue I spent my time thus Coriat Wherfore on thy leud lines thus pore I at Why like an Ideot foole adore I at Thy workes which wisedome will not glory at At no place'euer was before I at Where wonders vpon wonder more I at With pen instead of Lance now gore I at Thy Odcomb foppery now bore I at At thy prides altitude now fore I at Thou art the Theame I write my story at If ought befell me to be story at Hard-hearted fate 'gainst thee then rore I at Vpon his bookes name called his Crudities TOm Coriat I haue seene thy Crudities And me-thinkes very strangely brude it is With piece and patch together glude it is And how like thee ill-fauour'd hu'de it is In many a line I see that lewd it is And therefore fit to be subdew'd it is Within thy broyling braine-pan stude it is And twixt thy grinding iawes well chewd it is Within thy stomacke closely mude it is And last in Court and Country spude it is But now by wisedomes eye that view'd it is They all agree that very rude it is With foolery so full endude it is That wondrously by fooles pursude it is As sweet as galls amaritude it is And seeming full of Pulchritude it is But more to write but to intrude it is And therefore wisedome to conclude it is A Simile for his Learning THe lushious Grape of Bacchus heating Vine When it to ripe maturity is sprung Is prest and so conuerred into wine Then clos'd in Caske most tight at head and bung For if by chance it chanceth to take vent It spils the wine in colour strength and sent Eu'n so thy Latine and thy Greeke was good Till in thy musty Hogges-head it was put And Odly there Commixed with thy blood Not wisely kept nor well nor tightly shut That of the Caske it tastes so I assure thee That few or none can but in sport endure thee My Fare-well to him NOw Coriat I with thee haue euer done My Muse vnto her iournies end hath wonne My first Inuentions highly did displease thee And these my last are written to appease thee I wrought these great Herculean works to win thee Then if they please thee not the foole 's within thee What next I write shall better be or none Doe thou let me and I 'l let thee alone But if thou seem'st to rub a galled sore Vindictas vengeance makes all Hell to rore FINIS Laugh and be Fat OR A COMMENTARY VPON THE ODCOMBYAN BANKET To the Reader REader Idoe not come vpon you with the old musty Epithites of Honest Kinde Courteous Louing Friendly or Gentle The reason is I am not acquainted with your qualities and besides
I am loth to belye any man But if you bee addicted to any of these aforesaid vertues I pray let mee finde it in your fauourable Censure and so I leaue you to laugh â—d lie downe Bee fat LAVGH AND BE FAT Now Monsieur Coriat let them laugh that wins For I assure ye now the game begins â— is wondrous strange how your opinions vary â—â—m iudgement senceâ— or reason so contrary â—at with infamous rash timerity â—m raile at me with such seuerity â—be broad-fac'd lefts that other men put on you â—â—take for fauours well bestow'd vpon you â—sport they giue you many a pleasant cuffe â—â— no mans lines but mine you take in snuffe â—hich makes the ancient Prouerbe be in force â—at some may with more safety steale a horse Then others may looke on for still it falls The weakest alwayes must goe to the walls I need no vse this Etymology My plainer meaning to exemplifie Which doth induce me to expresse the cause That my vntutor'd Pen to writing drawes Be it to all men by these presents knowne That lately to the world was pâ—ainely showne In a huge volume Gogmagoticall In Verse and Prose with speech dogmaticall Thy wondrous Trauels from thy natiue home How Odly out thou went'st and Odly â—ome And how as fitted best thy Workes of worth The rarest Wits thy Booke did vsher forth But I alas to make thy fame more fuller Did lately write a Pamphlet Call'd the Sculler In which as vnto others of my friends I sent to theâ— braue Monsieur kind commends Which thou in double dudgeon tak'st from me And vow'st and swor'st thou wilt reuenged be The cause I heare your fury flameth from I said I was no dunce-combe cox-combe Tom What 's that to you good Sir that you should fume Or rage or chase or thinke I durst presume To speake or write that you are such a one I onely said that I my selfe was none Yet Sir I 'l be a Cocks-combe if so please you If you are ouer-laden Sir I 'l ease you Your store of witlesse wisdome in your budget To giue your friend a little neuer grudge it Nor that from Odcombs towne I first began Nor that I greeke or Latine gabble can I am no Odcombe Tom why what of that Nor nothing but baro English can I chat I pray what wrong is this to you good Sur Your indignation why should this incurre Nor that I thought our Land had spent her store That I need visit Venice for a whore Which if I would I could make neerer proofes And not like you so farre to gall my hoofes I said if such a volume I should make The rarest wits would scorne such paines to take At my returne amidst my skarre-crow totters To runne before me like so many trotters I know my merits neuer will be such That they should deigne to honour me so much I further said I enuied not your state For you had nothing worthy of my hate In loue your innocence I truly pitty Your plentious want of wit seemes wondrous wittie Your vertue cannot breed my hatefull lothing For what an asse were I to hate iust nothing Your vice I bare not neither I protest But loue and laugh and like it like the rest Your vice nor vertue manners nor your forme Can breed in me fell enuies hatefull worme I said it was a lodging most vnfit Within an idle braine to house your wit Here I confesse my fault I cannot hide You were not idle nor well occupide Be 't faire or foule be 't early or be 't late Your simple witlies in your humble pate A King sometimes may in a cottage lye And Lyons rest in swines contagious stye So your rare wit that 's euer at the full Lyes in the cane of your rotundious skull Vntill your wisedomes pleasure send it forth From East to West from South vnto the North With squib-crack lightning empty hogshead thundring To maze the world with terror with wondring I boldly bade you foole it at the Court There 's no place else so fit for your resort But though I bid you foole it you may chuse Though I command yet Sir you may refuse For why I thinke it more then foolish pitty So great a iemme as you should grace the citty Whilst I would foole it on the liquid Thames Still praying for the Maiesty of Iames. Good Sir if this you take in such disgrace To giue you satisfaction take my place And foole it on the Thames whilst I at Court Will try if I like you can make some sport Or rather then for fooleship we will brawle You shall be foole in Court on Thames and all Thus what to you I writ loe here 's the totall And you with angry spleen haue deign'd to note â—â—â— And vow from hell to hale sterne Nemesis To whip me from the bounds of Thamesis Yet when I ope your paper murd'ring booke I see what paines the wisest wits haue tooke To giue you titles supernodicall In orders orderlesse methodicall There doe I see how euery one doth striue In spight of Death to make thee still suruiue No garded gowne-man dead nor yet aliue But they make thee their great superlatiue In the beginning Alphabeticall With figures tropes and words patheticall They all successiuely from A to N Describe thee for the onely man of Men. The frontispice of Master Coriats Booke very â—â—â— nedly descanted vpon by Master Laurence Whitakers and Master Beniamin Ionson Thy Shipping and thy Haddocks friendly feeding Thy Carting in thy Trauels great proceeding Thy riding Stirroplesse thy iadish courser Thy Ambling o'r the Alpes and which is worser After the Purgatory of thy Legges Thy Puncke bepelts thy pate with rotten egges When thou braue man assault'st to boord a Pinace As fits thy state she welcomes thee to Venice Thy running from the mis-beleeuing Iew Because thou thought'st the Iew sought more then â—â—â— For why the Iew with superstition blind Would haue thee leaue what most thou lou'st behind How with a rusticke Boore thou mad'st a fray And manfully broughtst all the blowes away The Turkish Emp'rour or the Persian Sophy Can hardly match thy monumentall Trophy Thy ancient Ierkin and thy aged sloppes From whose warme confines thy retainers drops I stand in feare to doe thy greatnesse wrong For 't is suppos'd thou wast a thousand strong Who all deriu'd from thee their happy breeding And from thy bounty had their clothes feeding Thy lasting shooes thy stockings and thy garters To thy great fame are drawn and hangd in quarters Thy Hat most fitly beautifies thy crest Thy wits great couer couers all the rest The letter K doth shew the brauest fight But wherefore K I 'm sure thou art no Knight Why might not L nor M nor N or O As well as knauish K thy picture show But saucie K I see will haue a place When all the Crosse-row shall endure disgrace Who at the letter K doth truly seeke Shall see thee hemm'd with Latine with
Greeke Whereas thy name thy age and Odcombs towne Are workemanly ingrau'd to thy renowne Beleaguerd round with three such female shapes Whose features would enforce the gods to rapes France Germany and smug-fac'd Italy Attend thee in a kind triplicity France giues thee clusters of the fruitfull vine And Germany layes out t' adorne thy shrine And Italie doth wittily inuite thee And prittily she sayes she will delight thee But yet thy entertainement was but bitter At Bergamo with horses in their litter Whose iadish kindnesse in thy stomacke stickes Who for thy welcome flung thee coltish kickes Thy begging from the high-way Purse-takers Describes thee for a learned wiseakers â—o thus thy single worth is praised double For rare inuention neuer counts it trouble With timelesse reasons and with Reasons verse Thy great Odcombian glory to rehearse But yet whilst they in pleasures lap doe lull thee Amidst thy praise egregiously they gull thee Th' art made Tom Table-talke mongst gulls and gallants Thy book and thee such esteemed tallants When they are tired with thy trauels treading Then hauing nought to do they fall to reading Thy wits false-galloping perambulation Which ease the Readers more then a purgation But to proceed I 'l recapitulate The praise that doth thy worth accommodate Thy Character in learn'd admired Prose The perfect inside of thy humour showes Attended with thy copious names Acrosticke To shew thee wisest being most fantasticke All these Noblemen and Gentlemen that are named in the following book did write merry commendatory verses which were called the Odcombian banquet and were inserted in Mr Coriats booke intituled Coriats Câ—udities Vpon which verses I haue seuerally and particularly paraphrased Next which in doggrell rime is writ I wot Thy name thy birth and place where thou wast got Thy education manners and thy learning Thy going outward and thy home returning Yet there I finde the Writer hath tane leaue Midst words that seeme thy same aloft to heaue That for no little foole he doth account thee But with the greatest vp aloft doth mount thee Th' art lik'ned to a Ducke a Drake a Beare A iadish Gelding that was made to beare An Owle that sings no wit to whit to who That nothing well can sing nor say nor doe Incipit Henricus Neuill de Aberguenie Then follows next a friend that faine would knight thee But that he fears he should do more then right thee Yet wheÌ„ his verses praise on cock-horse heues thee He found thee Thomas Thomas he leaues thee Iohannes Harringtonde Bâ—â— The Goose that guarded Rome with sentles gagling Is here implor'd t' assist the Ganders stragling A pen made of her quill would lift thee fooae As high as is the thorn-bush in the Moone Incipit Ludonicus Lâ—wknor Fooles past and present and to come they say To thee in generall must all giue way Apuleius asse nor Mida's lolling cares No fellowship with thee braue Coriat beares For 't is concluded 'mongst the wizards all To make thee Master of Gul-finches hall Incipit Henricus Goodyer Old Odcombs odnesse makes not thee vneuen Nor carelesly set all at six and seuen Thy person 's odde vnparaleld vnmatchd But yet thy Action 's to the person patch'd Thy body and thy mind are twins in sadnesse Which makes thee euen in the midst of odnesse What-â—r thou odly dost is eu'nly meant In Idiotisme thou art eu'n an Innocent Thy booke and thee are shap'd to like each other That if I looke on t 'one I see the tother Th' art light th' art heauy merry midst thy sadnesse And still art wisest midst of all thy madnesse So odly euen thy feet thy iourney trod That in conclusion thou art euenly odde Incipit â—â—â—nnes Paiton Iunior Thou saw'st so many cities townes and garisons That Caesar must not make with thee comparisons Great Iulius Commentaries lies and rots As good for nothing but stoppe mustard pots For Coriats booke is onely in request All other volumes now may lye and rest Blind Homer in his writings tooke great paines Yet he and thee doe differ many graines For in my minde I hold it most vnfit To liken Homers verses to thy Writ Incipit Henricus Poole Next followes one whose lines aloft doe raise Don Coriat chiefe Diego of our daies To praise thy booke or thee he knowes not whether It makes him study to praise both or neither At last he learnedly lets flie at large Compares thy booke vnto a Westerne Barge And saies 't is pitty thy all worthlesse worke In darke obscurity at home should lurke And then thy blunted courage to encourage Couragiously he counsels thee to forrage 'Mongst forraine Regions and t' obserue their state That to thy Country-men thou might'st relate At thy returne their manners liues and law Belcht from the tumbrell of thy gorged maw Incipit Robertus Philips This worthy man thy fame on high doth heaue Yet Mounsieur Leg-stretcher pray giue me leaue He saies that men doe much mistake thy age That thinke thou art not past the making sage T is hard to make a foole of one that 's wise For wit doth pitty folly not despise But for to make a wife man of a foole To such a Clarke we both may goe to schoole Yet much I feare to learne it is too late Our youthfull age with wit is out of date He sayes If any one a foole dares call thee Let not his thundring big-mouth'd words apall thee But in thine owne defence draw out thy toole Thy Booke he means which will his courage coole For why thy Booke shall like a brazen shield Defend thy cause and thee the glory yeeld An asse I 'm sure could ne'r obserue so much Because an asses businesse is not such Yet if an asse could write as well as run He then perhaps might doe as thou hast done But t is impossible a simple creature Should doe such things like thee aboue his nature Thou Aiax of the frothie Whitson Ale Let AEolus breathe with many a friendly gale Fill full thy sailes that after-times may know What thou to these our times dost friendly show That as of thee the like was neuer heard They crowne thee with a Marrot or a Mard Incipit Dudleius Digges Here 's one affirmes thy booke is onely thine How basely thou didst steale nor yet purloyne But from the labour of thy legges and braine This heire of thine did life and soule obtaine Thou art no cuckold men may iustly gather Because the childe is made so like the father In nat'rall fashion and in nat'rall wit Despight of Art 't is Nat'rall euery whit Incipit Rowlandus Cotton Columbus Magelan nor dreadfull Drake These three like thee did neuer iourny take Thou vntir'd trauelling admired iemme No man that 's wife will liken thee to them The Calfe thy booke may call thee fire and dam Thy body is the Dad thy minde the Mam. Thy toylesome carkasse got this child of worth Which thy elaborate wit produced forth Now Ioues sweet benison
reason forme or hue He kicks and stings and winces thee thy due He maketh shift in speeches mysticall To write strange verses Cabalisticall Much like thy booke and thee in wit and shape Whilst I in imitation am his Ape Mount Maluora swimming on a big-limb'd guat And Titan tilting with a flaming Swanne Great Atlas flying on a winged Sprat Arm'd with the Hemispheares huge warming pan Or like the triple Vrchins of the Ash That lie and she through Morpheus sweet-fac'd doore Doth drowne the starres with a Poledauies flash And make the smooth-heel'd ambling rocks to roâ—â— Euen so this tall Colombrum Pigmy steeple That bores the Butterflie aboue the spheare Puls AEolus taile and Neptunes mountaines tippleâ— Whilst Coloquintida his fame shall reare Loe thus my Muse in stumbling iadish verse On horse-backe and on foot thy praise rehearse Pricksong Here 's one harmoniously thy same doth raise With Pricksong verse to giue thee prick praise But prick nor spur can make thee mend thy troâ— For thou by nature art nor cold nor hot But a meere nat'rall neutrall amongst men Arm'd like the bristles of a Porcupen If French or Venice Puncks had fir'd or scald thee This man had neuer raw-bon'd Coriat call'd thee Thou that so many Climats hotly coasted I wonder much thou wast not boild nor rosted Yet euery man that earst thy carkasse saw Are much in doubt if thou bee'st roast or raw Iohannes Pawlet de George Henton Now here 's another in thy praises ran And would intitle thee the great god Pan. No warming pan thou art I plainely see No fire-pan nor no frying-pan canst thou be Thou art no creame-pan neither worthy man Although thy wits lie in thy heads braine-pan Lionel Cranfield This Gentleman thy wondrous trauels rips And nothing that may honour thee he skips Thy yron memory thy booke did write I prethee keepe a wench to keepe it bright For cankerd rust I know will yron fret And make thee wit and memory forget Left rust therefore thy memory should deuoure I 'd haue thee hire a Tinker it to scowre Iohannes Sutclin Now here 's a friend doth to thy fame confesse Thy wit were greater if thy worke were lesse He from thy labour treats thee to giue o're And then thy case and wit will be much more Lo thus thy small wit and thy labour great He summons to a peaceable retreat Inigo Iones What liuing wight can in thy praise be dum Thou crowing Cock that didst from Odcom com This Gentleman amongst the rest doth flocke To sing thy fame thou famous Odcomb'd cocke And learnedly to doe thee greater grace Relates how thou canst scrue thy veriuyce face He wishes him that scornes thy booke to read It at the sessions house he chance to plead That he may want his booke although he craue But yet thy booke will sooner hang then saue So many gallowses are in thy booke Which none can read without a hanging looke Georgius Siddenham Now here 's a Substantiue stands by himselfe And makes thee famous for an anticke else But yet me thinkes he giues thee but a frumpe In telling how thou kist a wenches rumpe To spoile her ruffe I thinke thou stood'st in fearâ— That was the cause that made thee kisse her there Robertus Halswell Thy praise and worth this man accounts not small But ' thad bin greater writing not at all Thy booke he calls Dame Admirations brother I thinke the world vnworthy such another Thy booke can make men merry that are sad ' But such another sure will make men mad Iohannes Gifford This friend amongst the rest takes little paine To laud the issue of thy teeming braine And to applaud thee with his best endeauor He begs his wits to helpe him now or neuer He bids graue Munster reuerence thy renowne And lay his pen aside and combe thy crowne He praises thee as though he meant to split all And saies thou art all wit but yet no witall Except thy head which like a skonce or fort Is barracado'd strong left wits resort Within thy braines should rayse an insurrection And so captiue thy head to wits subiection Robertus Corbet The luggage of thy wit thy Booke he tearmes The bagge and baggage of thy legs and armes That neuer can be vnderstood by none But onely such as are like thee alone Iohannes Donnes This Gentleman commends thy Trauels much Because like thee was neuer any such Decembers thunder nor hot Iulies snow Are nothing like the wonders thou dost show Iohannes Chapman Here 's one in kindnesse learnedly compacts Thy naturall iests and thy all naturall acts And craues the Reader would some pity take To buy thy booke euen for his owne deare sake For of thy trauels and thy great designes There 's little matter writ in many lines Thou in much writing tak'st such great delight That if men read thou car'st not what thou write This man could well afford to praise thee more But that hee 's loth to haue thee on his score For he no longer will thy praise pursue Lest he should pay thee more then is his due Iohannes Owen This Author to thy fame in friendship saies How ancient Writers pend the Asses praise And wishes some of them aliue agen That they alone might thy high praises pen. Petrus Alley Now here 's a friend that lowd thy glory rings With Cannons Sakers Culuerings and Slings Guns drums and phifes and the thrill clang'rous truÌ„pet Applauds thy courting the Venetian struÌ„pet Samuel Page This Gentleman accounts it no great wrong Amidst thy praise to say thy cares be long His meaning my construction much surpasses I wet not what he meanes except an â—â—â— Thomas Momford Here 's a strange riddle puts me much in doubt Thy head 's within thy wit thy wit 's without 'T were good some friend of thine would take the paines To put thy wit i' the inside of thy braines For pitty doe not turne it out of dore Thy head will hold it if'twere ten times more Thomas Bastard This Gentleman aduiseth thee take heed Lest on thy praise too greedily thou feed But though too much a surfet breed he saies Yet thou shalt surfet but not die of praise Guilielmus Baker Here 's one by no meanes at thy same can winke And saies how most men say thou pissest inke If it be true I 'de giue my guilded raper That to thy inke thou couldst sir-reuerence paper Thy gaines would be much more thy charges lesse When any workes of thine come to the Presse 'T were good thy eares were par'd from off thy head 'T would stand Cosmographers in wondrous stead To make a Globe to serue this massie earth To be a mappe of laughter aud of mirth All new-found sustian phrases thou do'st sup And ' gainst a dearth of words dost hoard them vp Yet where thou com'st thou spendst thy prating pelse Thogh no man vnderstand thee nor thy selfe Thou art a iewell to be hang'd most fit In eares whose heads are nothing
but all wit And thy blown tongue wil make great ships to saile From coast to coast if winde and weather faile Againe Againe his Muse from sodaine sleep is waked And saies this booke of thine is nat'rall naked Thou urely art a seruiceable waiter For when thou mad'st this booke thou didst not loyter Yet much he doubts if God or fiend will haue thee For if thou be'st sau'd sure thy booke will saue thee If I to scape the gallowes needs must read I surely for another booke will plead The reason that incites me thereunto Thy booke to saue thee hath enough to doe This man hath a Greeke name This Gentleman thy praise doth briefely note Compares thy wit and senses to a Goare And well thy breeding he hath here exprest A Phoenix hatch'd from out the Wag-tailes nest But let them say and call thee what they will Thou wast and art and wilt be Coriat still Thomas Farnabie alias Baiurâ—fc Here 's one that like a carefull true Collector Tells like a Bee thou fill'st thy combe with Nectar Die when thou wilt in honour of thy Name Ram-headed Bel-weathers shall ring thy fame Guilielmus Austin I thinke this Author doth equiuocate In writing of the word â—â—â— The word so prittily he seemes to curtall That I imagine it is done for sportall But he perswades thee trauell once agen And make the world to surfet with thy pen. Glareanus Vadeanus Thou fatall impe to Glastenburie Abby The Prophecie includes thou art no baby That ouer Odcombs towne must one day ferrie As Whiting earst did ouer Glastenberie But yet 't is pitty one of thy rare skill Should like the Monke be drowned vpon a hill If thou canst climbe to heauen in hempen string Thy same for euer then my Muse shall sing But yet 't is safer in a Trunke to hide Then such a dang'rous wincing iade to ride Iohannes Iackeson Thou that hast trauel'd much from coast to coast Come eat this Egge that is nor rawe nor rost For like a friend this man hath plaid the cooke And potch'd this Ginnie Egge into thy booke Michael Draiton Now here 's another followes with a messe In haste before thy Booke comes to the Presse The shortnesse of the time is all his fault But now he 's come and brings thee spoons salt He saies that thou hast taught the right behauior How with great men we all may liue in fauor He bids thee liue and with their loues to ioyne Whose worth and vertues are most like to thine Nicholas Smith This Author liuely hath thy fame exprest But yet his lines are different from the rest For all but he that doe thy praises pen Say thou art farre vnlike to other men But this man to thy honour doth relate How many Courtiers thee doe imitate And how for feare thou should'st be stolne away They make themselues as like thee as they may For if they lose thee by false theft or slaughter The Court I feare will weep for want of laughter Thy greatnes here the pore-blind world may see He saies not I thy peeres haue iudged thee Stand to their censures then make no deniall For surely thou hast had a noble triall Laurentius Emley Here 's one commends thy booke and bodies paine And counsels thee to trauell once againe Whereas the treasure of thy wit and body Shall tire each lumpish asse and dronish noddie A horse that beares thy corpes more ease shall find Then men can haue in bearing of thy minde For in thy minde is many a paire of gallowes Waigh's more then thee or twentie of thy fellowes Was nothing in thy iourney small or mickle But in thy minde thou barrell'dst it in pickle So that if men to see thy minde were able There 's more confusion then was ere at Babel For there 's confusion both of tongues and towers Of loftie steeples and of lowly bowers Of libbets racks and round nor menting wheeles Of Haddockes Paddockes and of slipp'rie Eeles Of wit of sense of reason death and life Of loue of hate of concord and of strife The seuen deadly sinnes and liberall Arts Doe in thy minde discord and haue tane parts It is a doubt which side the conquest winnes Either the liberall Arts or deadly sinnes Not fourtie Elephants can beare the loade Of pondrous things that haue in thee abode Thy minde waighs more then I can write or speak Which heauie burden Atlas backe would breake Iohannes Dauis This Gentleman thy trauels doth relate Applauding much the hardnesse of thy pate I thinke thy head 's as hard as steele or rockes How could thy cox-comb else endure such knocks The brauest Smithes of Britaine haue tane paines To beat vpon the anuill of thy braines But let them beat thou canst abide the blowes Thou countst theÌ„ fauors which thy friends bestows One with a cocks-combe hits thee o'r the comb Another with an Asses eares strikes home Another with a fooles coat and a cap As hard as he can driue giues thee a clap But let them strike with what they please to strike Thy hardened head will not their strokes dislike The blows the Boore did giue thee in the vineyard Thou put'st them vp neuer drew'st thy whiniard Thou took'st a beating from a boorish foe-man I hope that thou wilt scorne a knocke from no man Richardus Badley Here 's one whose lines coÌ„mend thee with the most And saies how that a foole at Pentecost At Whitsontide he meanes did ouerthrow thee And at thy owne blunt weapon ouer-crow thee If it be true me thinkes 't is wondrous strange That thou so many countries o'r should'st range And hast the tongues of Latine and of Greeke Yet 'gainst a foole should'st haue thy wits to seeke I at the Sessions house the like haue seene When malefactors at the bar haue beene Being well-read Schollers for their booke would plead Yet for their liues haue had no power to read So thou great Polypragmon wast more graueld With this wise foole theÌ„ else-wher as thou traueld Henricus Peacham Of all rare sights in city court or towne This Author saies thou brauely put'st them downe The horrid darke eclipse of Sunne or Moone The Lyon Elephant or the Baboone The huge Whale-bone that 's hang'd vp at White-hall The sight of thee puts downe the diuell and all Tricks ligges and motions are but idle toyes The sight of thee their glories all destroyes The sweetnesse of thy Phisnomy is such That many to behold it would giue much But they are blind and would giue more to see And therefore would giue much to looke on thee The Viopian Tongue Thoytem Asse Coria Tushrump cod she adirustie Mungrellimo whish whap ragge dicete tottrie Mangelusquem verminets nipsem barely battimsore Culliandolt trauellerebumque graiphone trutchmore Pusse per mew Odcomb gul abelgsk foppery shig shag Cock a peps Comb settishamp Idioshte momulus tag rag Iacobus Field This Author 'mongst the rest in kindnesse comes To grace thy trauels with a world of
Toms Tom Thumbe Tom foole Tom piper and Tom-asse Thou Tom of Toms dost all these Toms surpasse Tom tell-troth is a foolish gull to thee There 's no comparisons twixt thee and hee If tell-troth Tom were any of thy kin I thinke thy Booke not halfe so big had bin Clareanus Videanus Not last nor least but neere thy praises end This worthy man thy worthlesse works commend No scuruy idle name he will thee call And therefore he will call thee none but all If I on euery Epithete should write Thy friends bestow on thee thou wandring wight No Reader then durst on my writings looke They would so far out-swell thy boystrous booke But shortest writ the greatest wit affoords And greatest wit consists in fewest words Thus Monsieur Coriat at your kind request My recantation here I haue exprest And in my Commentaries haue bin bold To write of all that haue your fame inrol'd I meane of such my wit can vnderstand That speake the language of the Britaine land But for the Latine French the Greeke or Spanish Italian or the Welsh from them I vanish I on these tongues by no meanes can comment For they are out of my dull Element Consider with your selfe good Sir I pray Who hath bin bolder with you I or they If I I vow to make you satisfaction Either in words or pen or manly action I haue bin bold to descant on each iest Yet from the Text I nothing wrong did wrest My lines may be compared to the Thames Whose gliding current and whose glassie streames On which if men doe looke as in a glasse They may perceiue an asse to be an asse An owle an owle a man to be a man And thou thou famous great Odcombian Shalt see thy selfe descypherd out so plaine Thou shalt haue cause to thanke me for my paine But holla holla whither runnes my pen I yet haue descanted what other men Haue wrote before but now I thinke it fit To adde additions of mine owne to it I yet haue champ'd what better writers chaw'd And now my Muse incites me to applaud Thy worth thy fortune and thy high desart That all the world may take thee Asse thou art And now to sing thy glory I begin Thy worthy welcome vnto Bossoms Inne M'Coriats entertainement at Bossoms Inne IEwes-trumpt Bag-pipes musick high and low Stretch to the height your merry squeking notes And all you Cockney cocks clap wings and crow Here comes an Odcomb cocke will eat no oates Pipes tabers fiddles trebble and the base Blow sound and scrape fill all the ayre with mirth Blind harpers all your instruments vncase And welcome home the wonder of the earth Great Coriat mirrour of the foure-fold world The fountaine whence Alacrity doth flow On whom rich Nature nat'rall gifts hath hurld Whom all admire from Palace to the Plow The onely Aristarck-asse of this age The maine Exchequer of all mad-cap glee For Fortune thrust him on this earthly stage That he the onely Thing of Things should be He that so many galling steps hath trac'd That in so many countries earst hath bin And to his euiternall same is grac'd To be well welcom'd vnto Bossoms Inne Vnto which place whilst Christians time doth last If any once in progresse chance to come They of my Lords great bounty needs must taste Which oftentimes doth proue a pondrous summe For why my lusty liberall minded Lord Is very friendly to all passengers And from his bounty freely doth afford Both pounds and purses to all messengers And thither now is Monsieur Odcombe come Who on his owne backe-side receiuâ—d his pay Not like the entertainement of Iacke Drum Who was best welcome when he went his way But he not taking my Lords coyne for current Against his Lordship and his followers raues Like to a cruell all-deuouring torrent These words he vtterd stuff'd with thuÌ„dring brâ—â— Bafe vassals of the blacke infernall den Vntutor'd peasants to the fiends of hell Damn'd Incubusses in the shapes of men Whose mind 's the sinke where impious dealings dwell Curst age when buzzards owles and blinded bats Against the princely Eagle rise in swarmes When weazels polecats hungry tau'ning rats Against the Lyon raise rebellious armes When as the offall of the vilest earth Raile roguishly ' gainst their superiour powers And seeme to contradict them in their mirth And blast with stinking breath their pleasat houres When base mechanicke muddy-minded slaues Whose choysest food is garlicke and greene cheese The cursed off-spring of hells horrid caues Rude rugged rascals clad in pelt and freeze And such are you you damn'd Tartarian whelps Vnmanner'd mungrels sonnes of Cerberuâ— Whom Pluto keepes for speedy hellish helps T' increase the monarchie of Erebus But now my Muse with wrinkled laughter fild Is like to bursts O hold my sides I pray For straight my Lord by his command'ment wild Cause Coriat did his Lordship disobay That in the Basket presently they mount him And let him see his ancient royall tower For he hath maz'd them all that they account him To be some mighty man of forcelesse power And now the matter plainer to disclose A little while I 'll turne my verse to prose 2. Oration COntaminous pestiferous preposterous stygmaticall slauonians slubberdegullions since not the externall vnualued trappings caparisons or accoutrements that I weare as outward ornaments or inuellopings of the more internall beauty of the minde that is â—â—is incaged within them since not the eye-amazing character of my austere Physiognomy since not the sword of Aiax nor the words of â—vlisses since no meanes nor proiect neither of â—force or policy could stay the rugged râ—bustiâ—ous rage that your innated hereditary inciuility or inhumanity hath made you to inflict â—on me I vow and sweare by the burning heard of scorching Sol and by the bloudy cut-throat cuttleaxe of swaggering Mars and by the dimple faire Venus chin and by the armed cornuted front of sweating Vulcan that I will execute on you such confounding vengeance that your off-springs off-spring to the 39. generation shall ban with execrations as bitter as coloquintida the day houre and bald-paâ—â—ed Time of this your audacious insolency And thou ignoble horse-rubbing peasant that by the borrowed title of a Lord being but a vilipendious mechanicall Hostler hast laid this insulting insupportable command on me the time shall come when thou shalt cast thy â—nticke authority as a snake casts her skin and then thou for an example to future posterities shalt make an vnsauory period of thy maleuolent dayes in litter and horse-dongue No sooner was this graue Oration ended Whereto my Lord and all his traine attended Being strooken in an admirable maze That they like Ghosts on one another gaze Quoth one This man doth coniure sure I thinke No Quoth another He is much in drinke â— Nay quoth a third I doubt he 's raging mad Faith quoth my Lord he 's a most dangerous lad For such strange English from his tongue doth slide As no man
contrary nature cannot agree withall for shee knowes by old experience that it hath vndone many and that they are accounted none of the wisest that make any account or reckoning of it I am sorry that I haue not dedicated this book to some great Patron or Patronesse but the world is so hard to please that I thinke it an easier matter to displease all then euery way fully to please one for I did lately write a small pamphlet in the praise of cleane Linnes which I did dedicate to a neat spruce prime principall and superexcellent Landresse and shee in stead of protecting my labours or sheltring my good and painfull study doth not onely expresse her liberality in giuing me nothing but also shee depraues and depriues me of that small talent and portion of wit and Poetry which nature hath giuen or lent mee most vntruly affirming and reporting that that Pamphlet was the inuention of a graue and learned friend of mine whose imployments are so vrgent and eminent and whose iudgement and capacity are so mature and approued that not one line word sillable or letter is in that poore toy but it is so farre vnlike a wiseman that they all and euery one doe most truly and obediently call Iohn Taylor father But belike shee hath learn'd some frugall qualities of some who are more honored and worshiped then honourable or worshipfull who take it for a point of thirsty wisdome to discommend where they doe not meane to reward It is a kind of policy vnder which many better labours then mine haue suffered persecution and Martyrdome and belike my vnkind Patronesse is ambitious to follow the example of her betters But I would haue her to know that if shee had but gratefully accepted my booke of Cleane Linnen that then I would haue cudgeld and canuasde my Muse I would haue rowz'd my spirits belabour'd my Inuention beaten my braines thump'd bumbasted strapadoed lambski'nd and clapper claw'd my wits to haue mounted her praise one and thirtie yards London measure beyond the Moone But ingratitude is the poyson of industry and detraction is the destruction of good endeuours for the which sinnes of hers I will allot her no other punishment but this that shee shall remaine as shee was and is the true wife to an honest Cobler A cleanly trusty chast louing and welbeloued Landresse whom when the fates and destinies shall depriue Chancery Lane of then many polluted and slouenly Linnen soylers shall lament in foule bands blacke cuffes and mourning shirts a The industry and vigilancy of a Bawd As Sloth and idlenesse are vices discommended in all Lawes and Common-wealths being enormities of that high nature and vile condition that they haue ruined whole Kingdomes Cities families and many particular persons so on the contrary diligence industry and carefull vigilancy are qualities that doe not onely erect States and Common-wealths but they doe also conserue and preserue whomsoeuer shall put them in vse and practice who then is more vigilant or industrious then a diligent Bawd shee is none of the seuen Sleepers nay shee carefully watchâ—th whilst others sleepe shee takes paines for the pleasure of many shee is the true Embleme or image of security her eyes like carefull and trusty scouts or spyes doe fore-see and preuent the danger of M r. Busieman the Constable with his ragged rusty regiment Moreouer shee is not like a ship bound for Groneland which must saile but in summer or a pot of Ale with a toast which is onely in winter no let the winde blow where it will her care is such that it brings her prize and purchase all seasons her b Or Punckes pinkes are fraighted her Pinnaces are man'd her friggots are rig'd from the beak-head to the Poope and if any of her vessels be boorded by Pyrats and shot betwix winde and water they are so furnished with engines that they le send them packing with a pox or else blow them quite vp with a diuels name there is not a poynt in the compasse but the skilfull c A Bawd a skilfull Nauigator Bawd obserues if the wind be North or North-east shee expects profits out of the Low-Countries from Germany Denmarke Norway and sometimes a Prize from Scotland if at South or S. west then her hopes are from France but Spaine and Italy doe seldome or neuer faile her And let it blow high or low the Englishman is neere on all occasions She hath not beene much accused for receiuing vncustomed goods for to speake the truth she will harbour no ventred commodity in her warehouse and if the Informer or Constable doe light vpon one of her conceal'd dryfats Punchions fardils or naughty packs and hauing seiz'd it by his office and honestly laid it vp safe in the store-house of Bridewell yet the Bawd will so compound in the businesse that for a small toye and a little sufferance shee le redeeme the Commodity and haue her ware againe in her owne hands d The plaine dealing of a Bawd A Bawd is no deceiuer of her customers for what shee promiseth shee will performe as for example If shee take a see to helpe a man to a Whore shee will not cheat him and bring him an honest woman a bargaine 's a bargaine and shee will not faile you in a tittle shee plainly and openly shewes her selfe what shee is shee doth not dissemble or hide her function from her clyents vnder the veile of hypocrysie and for her creatures that liue vnder her e A Bawd hath common sense and reason to take her part or share in her prosession shee hath taught them their Art whereby they may liue another day when she is dead and rotten and as they haue their maintenance by her instruction and vnder her protection so it is fit that in requitall of her paines she should picke a reuenue out of their commings in shee hath good presidents out of famous Authors for it an old braue fellow tooke great paines in teaching of his Cut horse and the beast was so thankfull for it that hee got his masters prouender and his owne both many yeeres after If a man teach in Ape to doe trickes the honest Ape will maintaine him for it I haue seene a Hare get her master and dames liuing with playing on a Tabor The very Baboones are graue examples in this kind Tumblers boyes and sometimes their wiues doe teach vs this duty and the ignorant Puppets doe allow their maker and master meat drinke and cloth For mine owne part if I teach my man to row I will haue for my paines the greatest part of the profit If I dig or plow and cast my Seed into the ground I will expect the benefit of the Crop If I plant or grasse I should thinke I had but hard measure if I should not feed vpon the fruit of my labour By this consequence it is reason that a Bawd should reape where shee hath sowne and eate and liue vpon such fruit
'l rest Thus may a Whore be made by this construction Vnto the Grammar Rules an Introduction But yet if Learning might be gotten so Fow to the Vniuersities would goe And all degrees tagge ragge and old and yong Would be well grounded in the Latine tongue Whil'st many learn'd men would be forc'd to seeke Their liuings from the Hebrew and the Greeke For mine owne part I dare to sweare and vow I ne'r vs'd Accidence so much as now Nor all these Latine words here enterlac'd I doe not know if they with sense are plac'd I in the Booke did find them and conclude At random to a Whore I them allude But leauing Latine eu'ry trading wench Hath much more vnderstanding of the French If shee hath learn'd great P O Per se O She ' le quickly know De morbo Gallico If in these rudiments she well doth enter With any man she neuer feares to venter She 's impudently arm'd and shamelesse too And neuer dreads what man to her can do Her neather part to stake shee 'l often lay To keepe her vpper part in fashion gay She blushes not to haue her Trade well knowne Which is she liues by vsing of her owne Her shop her ware her same her shame her game 'T is all her owne which none from her can claime And if she be halfe mad and curse and sweare And fight and bite ' and scatch and domineere Yet still she proues her patience to be such ' Midst all these passions she will beare too much She is not couetous for any thing For what she hath men doe vnto her bring Her Temp'rance is a vertue of much honour And all her Commings in are put vpon her She 's generall she 's free she 's liberall Of hand and purse she 's open vnto all She is no miserable hide bound wretch To please her friend at any time shee 'l stretch At once she can speake true and lye or either And is at home abroad and altogether Shee 's nimbler then a Tumbler as I thinke Layes downe and takes vp whilst a man can winke And though she seeme vnmeasur'd in her pleasure 'T is otherwayes a Yard's her onely measure Bâ—t as most Whores are vicious in their fames So many of them haue most Vertuous names Though bad they be they will not bate an Ace To be cald Prudence Temp'rance Faith or Grace Or Mercy Charity or many more Good names too good to giue to any Whore Much from the Popes of Rome they doe not swerue For they haue Names which they doe ill deserue Onely betwixt them here 's the difference on 't A Whore receiues her Name first at the Font The Roman Bishop takes a larger scope For he doth change his name when he 's a Pope As if he were a Persecuting Saul If he please hee 'l be call'd a Preaching Paul Is his name Swinesnowt he can change the Case And swap away that name for Boniface If he be most vngodly and enuious Yet if he please he will be called Pius Be he by Nature to all mischiefe bent He may and will be called Innocent And be he neuer so doggedly inclin'd Hee 'l be nam'd Vrbane if it be his mind If he be much more fearefull then a Sheepe The name of Leo he may haue and keepe And though he be vnmercifull yet still He may be called Clement if he will Thus Popes may haue good names though bad they be And so may Whores though different in degree The Anagram of WHORE'S her mortall foe Deuided into two words 't is HER WO. And seriously to lay all Iesting by A Whore is Her owne Woâ— and misery For though she haue all pleasures at the full Much more then Thais that proud Corinthians Trull Who suffered none but Kings and Potentates To haue their pleasures at Excessiue rates Yet all that Deare bought Lechery would be The greater brand of lasting Infamy And though her Carrion Corps rich clad high fed Halfe rotten liuing and all rotten Dead Who with her hellish Courage stout and hot Abides the brunt of many a prick shaft shot Yet being dead and doth consumed lye Her euerlasting shame shall neuer dye Ixion in his armes he did suppose That he the Goddesse Iuno did inclose But in the end his franticke error show'd That all which he imbrac'd was but a Cloud So whosoeuer doe their Lust embrace In stead of Loue are clouded with disgrace The Godlesse Goddesse Venus honour'd farre For conqu'ring of the Conqu'ring God of Warre To hide their shame they no defence could get When limping Vulcan tooke them in a net And being past shame with that foule offence She arm'd her selfe with shamelesse Impudence And with vngodly articles would proue That foule Concupiscence and Lust is Loue. For which each bawdy Knaue and filthy Whore Her Deuillish Diety doe still adore I haue read Histories that doe repeat Whores were of old in estimation Great Pandemus King of Corinth he erected That he from Perses power might be protected A Temple vnto Venus as some say Where whores might for his safety safely pray And some in Ephesus did Temples reare In whom the Paphean Queenes adored were Where they that were the wickedst whores of all Were the chiefe Priests in robes Pontificall And in the I le of Paphos 't was the vse Maides got their Dowries by their Corps abuse But if that order were allowed here So many would not portions want I feare The Art of Bawd'ry was in such respect Amongst the Egyptians that they did erect An Altar to Priapus and their guise Was that their Priests on it did Sacrifice Wise Arictotle was in wit so poore He Sacrific'd to Hermia his whore Great Iulius Caesar was so free and Common And cald a husband vnto euery woman Procullus Emperour the Story sayes Deflowr'd one hundred Maydes a Here I haue for some 60 lines followed the report of Cornelâ—us Agrippa in his Vanity of sciences b Sermatian Maydes c 30. pound waight a peece in fifteene dayes If all be true that Poets vse to write Hercules lay with fifty in one night When Heliogabulus Romes Scepter sway'd And all the world his lawlesse Lawes obay'd He in his Court did cause a Stewes be made Whereas Cum priuilegio whores did trade H'inuited two and twenty of his friends And kindly to each one a whore he lends To set whores free that then in bondage lay A mighty masse of money he did pay He in one day gaue to each whore in Rome A Duckat a large and ill bestowed summe He made Orations vnto whores and said They were his Souldiers his defence and ayde And in his speech he shew'd his wits acute Of sundry formes of Bawdr'y to dispute And after giuing vnto euery where For list'ning to his tale three Duckats more With Pardon vnto all and Liberty That would be whores within his Monarchy And yeerly Pensions hee freely gaue To keepe a Regiment of whores most braue And oft he had when
Priests Lemman and a Tinkers Pad Or Dell or Doxy though the names bee bad And amongst Souldiers this sweet piece of Vice Is counted for a Captaines Cockatrice But the mad Rascall when hee 's fiue parts drunke Cals her his Drah his Queane his Iill or Punke And in his fury'gins to rayle and rore â— Then with full mouth he truely call's her Whore And so I leaue her to her hot desires ' â—Mongst Pimps and Panders and base Applesquires To mend or end when age or Pox will make her Detested and Whore-masters all forsake her A comparison betwixt a Whore and a Booke ME thinks I heare some Cauiller obiect That 't is a name absurd and indirect To giue a Booke the Title of a Whore When sure I thinke no Name befits it more For like a Whore by day-light or by Candle 'T is euer free for euery knaue to handle And as a new whore is belon'd and sought So is a new Booke in request and bought When whores wax old and stale they 're out of date Old Pamphlets are most subiect to such fate As Whores haue Panders to emblaze their worth So these haue Stationers to set them forth And as an old whore may be painted new With borrowed beauty faire vnto the view Whereby shee for a fine fresh whore may passe Yet is shee but the rotten whore shee was So Stationers their old cast Bookes can grace And by new Titles paint a-fresh their face Whereby for currant they are past away As if they had come forth but yesterday A Booke is dedicated now and than To some great worthy or vnworthy man Yet for all that 't is common vnto mee Or thee or hee or all estates that bee And so a man may haue a Whore forsooth Supposing shee is onely for his tooth But if the truth hee would seeke out and looke She 's common vnto all men like a Booke A Booke with gawdy coate and silken strings Whose inside's full of obsceane beastly things Is like a whore Caparison'd and trap'd Full of infection to all mischiefe apt As one whore may bee common vnto any So one Booke may bee dedicate to many And sure I say and hope I speake no slander To such a Booke the Poet is the Pander He prostitutes his muse to euery one Which should be constant vnto one alone This is a kind of Bawd'ry vile and base Kils bounty and is Poetryes disgrace And left they should be lost it is ordain'd That Bookes within a Library are chain'd So he that to himselfe will keepe a Whore Must chaine her or shee 'le trade with forty more As Bookes are lease by lease oft turn'd and tost So are the Garments of a Whore almost For both of them with a wet finger may Be folded or vnfolded night or day Moreouer 't is not very hard to proue That Bookes and Whores may Riuals be in Loue To purchase mens displeasure I am loth But sure good Schollers still haue lou'd them both Some Bookes haue their Errates at the last That tell their errors and offences past So many great Whores did in state suruiue But when death did their hatefull liues depriuâ— Their faults escap'd and their Errates then Haue beene made manifest and knowne to men Some Bookes and Whores to wicked purpose her Doe for their faults receiue one punishment â—â— Bukes are often burnt and quite forgotten â—â—â—â— Whore are ouer-stew'd or rosted rotten â—â— experience shewes that Bookes much knowledge brings â—nd by experience Whores know many things â—â—â— as â—â—ed Iustice all mens losse repaires â—â—â— whores doe giue to all men what is theirs â—â—â— shee learnes yet will shee much rebuke vs â—â— I wee doe play the part of true Eunuchus â—â—â— Bookes prophane or else Hereticall â—â—â— soâ—â—ilous non-sense Schismaticall â—â—â—erts man Iudgement and his soule pollutes â—â—ch are all Whores and such will be their fruits â—â— one Slouens soyle a Booke in little space â—â—nd slauer it and so the Leaues deface â—â—â—nd some againe will take a cleanly course â—â—o read it dayly yet t is ne'r the worse â—â—â— some man vse a Whore when once they haue her â—They'le touze and teare and beastly all beslauer When forty neat Whoremasters might haue play'd â—â—nd vsde her and shee still be thought a maide â—â— that doth read a Booke he likes would be â—â—loue from any Interruption free â—â—nd hee that with a Whore would toy or lye â—â— thinke desires other Company â—â— When Bookes are wet their beauties gone or soyl'd â—â— wash a whore and all her paintings sooyl'd â—â—nd as an old Whore spight of Paint and cloathing â—â—als at the last the obiect of mens loathing â—scorn'd and vnpittied and to finish all â—â—yes in Ditch or in an Hospitall â—â— Pamphlets and some workes of writers Graue â—â—re vsde much worse then Whores by many a Knaue Who ne'r regard the matter or the price â—ot teare like Tyrants to wrap Drugs or Spice â—â— which is worse in Priuie matters vse them â—â— worst of all like Roarers they abuse them When as they rend good Bookes to light and dry â—â—â— â—â—â— Englands ds bainefull Diety And 't is a thing I ne'r thought on before A * Now a dayes Booke 's examin'd stricter then a Whore There 's not a Sheet a Lease a Page a Verse A word or sillable or letter scarce But that Authority with Iudgements eye Doth diligently looke and search and pry And gage the sense and first will vnderst nd all Lest in a Phrase or word there lurke a scandall And my poore Whore in this hath not beene spar'd Her skirts were curtaild hee nayles were * She would haue scratched else par'd All 's one for that though shee such vsage had Shee 's not left naked though not richly clad I knew shee must be question'd and I say I am right glad shee scap'd so well away And should ail Whores of high and low degree As Bookes are to account thus called bee The whorish number would waxe very small Or else men neuer could examine all This Booke my Whore or else this Whore my Booke Shee beares both names so neither is mistooke Respects not all her enemies a straw If shee offended shee hath had the Law She was examin'd and shee did confesse And had endur'd the torture of the Presse Her faults are printed vnto all mens sight Vnpartially declar'd in blacke and white And last in Pauls Church-yard and in the streets Shee suffers Penance vp and downe in Sheets And if all Whores to doe the like were made A Linnen Draper were the richest Trade If any Whore be honcster then mine is I le write no more but stop my mouth with FINIS An arrant Thiefe whom euery Man may trust In Word and Deed exceeding true and iust With a Comparison betweene a Thiefe and a Booke THis Water m The Anigram of Rat is Art Rat or Art I would commend But that I know not to begin or end He read his Verses to me and
â—â—â—â—rashnesse did the Gallants tongue o'rship â—â—â— the Shepheard gaue a pleasing nip â—â—â— softest fire doth make the sweetest Mault â—â—â—â—ild reprâ—â—â—fes makes rashnesse see his fauls 60 A Man was very angry with his maid because his eggs were boyled too hard truely said she I haue made themâ— boyle a long â—â—â— but the next you haue shall boyle two â—â—â— but they shall be tender enough The boyling of this wenches eggs I find Much like vnto a greedy miâ—ers mind â—â—â— eggs the more they boyle are harder still The â—â—â— full too sull yet wants his fill 61 TWo learned good-fellowes drinking a pipe of Tobacco it being almost out that â—â— that drunke last did partly feele the ashes to â—â—â— hot to his lippes giuing the pipe to his friend said Ashes to Ashes the other taking the pipe being of a quicke apprehension threw it out to the dunghill saying Earth to earth Thus wit with wit agrees like cake and cheese Both sides are gainers neither side doth leese Conceit begets conceit iest iest doth father And butter falne to ground doth something gather 62 ONe said a Cittizen was a man all in earnest and in no part like a iest because the Citizen was neuer bad or the iest neuer good till they were both broke What 's one mans yea may be anothers nay The Sun doth sosten wax and harden clay Some Citizens are like to iests for why They 'll breake in iest or bankrupt policy 63 A Gallant with a galloping wit was mounted vpon a running horse toward a town named Tame within ten miles of Oxford and riding at full speed he met an old man and asked him Sirrah is this the way to Tame yes sir hee replyde your Horse I 'l warrant you if hee were as wild as the diuell This is a ridle to a foole me thinks And seemes to want an Oedipus or Sphinx But Reader in my booke I hold it fit To find you lines you selfe must find you wit 64 A Complementall Courtier that in his French Italian and Spanish cringes conges and courtesies would bend his body and bow euery way like a tumbler a Mercers seruant espying his marmositicall Apishnesse said Oh if my master could haue bowed but halfe so much I am certainly perswaded that hee had neuer broke Too much of one thing oft proues good for nothing And dainties in satiety breed lothing Th'ones flattery mingled with the others pride Had seru'd them both both might liue long vnspide 65 I My selfe gaue a booke to King Iames once in the great Chamber at Whitehall as his Maiesty came from the Chappell the Duke of Richmond said merrily vnto mee Taylor where did you learne the manners to giue the King a booke and not kneele My Lord said I if it please your Grace I doe giue now but when I beg any thing then I will kneele Be it to all men by these presents knowne Men need not kneele to giue away their owne I le stand vpon my feet when as I giue And kneele when as I beg more meanes to liue But some by this may vnder stand That Courtiers ofiner kneele then stand 66 THe trayned Souldiers of a certaine Shire which I could name to the number of 6000 as they were mustring and drilling vnder their seuerall Captaines a yeomans sonne being there as a raw souldier in his corslet his father standing by said I vaith it does mee much good at heart to â—â—â— how trim a vellow my zonne is in his hardnesse The young fellow bearing his fathers commendations of him began very desperately to shake his pike and looking exceeding grim with a fearefull horrible terrible countenance said O vatber chad lather nor a groat that all wee bad but one Spaniard here One Spaniard mongst 6000 pirty t' were Better ten thousand Britains bold were there Led by braue Leaders that might make Spain quake Like Vere or Morgan Essex Blunt or Drake 67 ONe said that hee could neuer haue his health in Cambridge and that if hee had liued there till this time hee thought in his conscience that hee had dyed seuen yeeres agoe I will not say the man that spake so ly'd Seuen yeeres agoe no doubt hee might haue dy'd He by his trade perhaps might be a dyer And daily dy'd to liue and bin no lyer 68 A Country fellow was much grieued that heâ—â—â— had not gone seuen miles to a marked towne to haue seene the Baboones Why saiâ—â—â— his wife it is too farre to goe and come inâ—â—â— day to see such bables especially 't is too greatâ—â— a iourney on foot O quoth hee I could hâ—â—â— gone thither with my neighbour Hobson â—â—â— foot like a foole as I was and I might hauâ—â—â— rid backe vpon my neighbour Iobsons mareâ—â—â— like an asse as I am Thus in the preter tense a foole he was And in the present tense he is an Asse And in the future foole and asse shall bee That goes or rides so far such fights to see 69 THere was a lusty young Scholler preserreâ—â—â— to a Benefice in the Country and commonâ—â— ly on Sundayes and holy-dayes after euening prayer hee would haue a dozen bouts at cudâ—â—â— gels with the sturdiest youths in his parishâ—â—â— The Bishop of the Diocesse hearing of it â—â—â— for the parson telling him that this beseemâ—â—â— not his profession and grauity and if that â—â—â— did not desist from that vnmeet kind of exercise hee would vnbenefice him Good my Lord said the Parson I beseech you to conceiue rightly of mee and I doubt not but myâ—â—â— playing at cudgels will be counted tollerable for I doe it of purpose to edifie the ruder forâ—â—â— of my people How so said the Bishop Maâ—â—ry my Lord quoth the Parson whatsoeuer do reach them at morning euening prayerâ—â— I doe bear foundly into their heads at cudgâ—â—â— afterward for their better remembrance I wish that all the Fencers in our Nation Were onely of this Parsons Congregation That he his life and doctrine should explaine By beating them whilst they beat him againe 70 A Iudge vpon the Bench did aske as old manâ—â—â— how old he was My Lord said he I amâ—â—â— eight and fourescore And why not fourescore and eight said the Iudge the other replid beâ—â—â— cause I was eight before I was fourscore Eight â—…all men may desery â—…eight first contrarily â—…if my Boots and Spures I you beseech â—…spures and Boots is rather proper speech 71 â—…Fellow made his boast that hee rode â—â—miles with one horse and neuer â—bit that may bee quoth another perâ—â—â— you rid him with a halter Saies hee that will sweare will lie â—â—â— that will lie will Sâ—eale by consequency â—…wearers are lyers lyers most are thieues â—…God helpe Taylors and true Vndershrieues 72 ONe saw a decayed Gentleman in a very â—…â—â—â— bare cloake said to him Sir you â—…very watchfull cloake on Why said â—â—â— Gentleman the other answered I â—â—â—thinke it had a good nap this seuen â—…the Gentleman replyed and truly sir â—…thinkes you
farre â—â— I can from the cleane sound and profitable Sheepe before mentioned for feare the bad should infect the good ANd now from solid Prose I will abstaine To pleasant Poetrie and mirth againe The Fable of the golden Fleece began Cause Sheepe did yeeld such store of gold to Man For he that hath great store of woolly Fleeces May when he please haue store of golden peeces Thus many a poore man dying hath left a Sonne That hath transform'd the Fleece to Gold like Iases And heere 's a my stery profound and deepe There 's sundry sorts of Mutton are no Sheepe Lac'd Mutton which let out themselues to hire Like Hackneys who'lbe fir'd before they tire The man or man which for such Mutton hungers Are by their Corporation Mutton mongers Which is a brother-hood so large and great That if they had a Hall I would intreat To be their Clarke or keeper of accounts To shew them vnto what their charge amounts My braines in numbring then would grow so quicke I should be Master of Arithmeticke All States degrees and Trades both bad and good Afford some members of this Brotherhood Great therefore needs must be their multitude When euery man may to the Trade intrude It is no freedome yet these men are free Not sauers but most liberall spenders be For this is one thing that doth them bewitch That by their trading they ware seldome rich The value of this Mutton to set forth The flesh doth cost more than the broth is worth They all Ewes yet are exceeding Ramish And will be dainty fed whoso'uer famish Nor are they mark'd for any man or no man As mene or thine but euery mans in common â—â—beads and necker and breasts they yeeld some itore â—â—â—scarcely one good liuer in nine score Liuers being bad 't is vnderstood The reinea are fild with putrified blood Which makes them subiect to the scab and then They prone most dangerous diet vnto men And then the prouerbe proues no lye or mocke On seabbed sheep 's enough to spoyle a focke But yet for all this there is many a Gall â—â—â— Mutton well and dips his bread â— the weell And were a man put to his choyce to keepe 'T is said a Sbriw is better then a Sheepe â—â—â— if a man be yok'd with such an Eâ—â—â— See may be both seabbed Sheepe and Shrew And he that is so march'd his life may well Compared be vnto an earthly hell Into my Theame which I wrote of before Let this Mutten must haue one cut more These kind of Sheepe haue all the world ore'growne And seldome doe weare flecces of their owne For they from sundry men their pelts can pull Whereby they keepe themselues as warme as wooll Besides in colours and in shape they varie Quite from all profitable sheepe contrarie White blacke greene rawny purple red and blue Beyond the Raine-bow for their change of hue â—â—â— like in alteration â—â—â— that bare Ayre they cannot liue vpon The Moones mutation's not more manifold Silke Veluet Tissue Cloath and cloath of Gold These are the Sheep that Golden fleeces weare Who robe themselues with others Wooll or haire And it may bee 't was such a Beast and Fleece Which Iason brought from Cholcos into Greece They are as soft as silke-wormes VVere it no more but so I dare be bold To thinke this Land doth many Iasons hold VVno neuer durst to passe a dang'rous waue Yet may with ease such Golden fleeces haue Too much of one thing 's good for nought they say I le therefore take this needlesse dish away For should I too much of of Lac'd Mutton write I mayo'recome my readers stomacke quite Once more vnto the good Sheepe I le recare And so my Booke shall to its end exspire Although it be not found in ancient writers I finde all Mutton-caters are Sheepe-biters And in some places I haue heard and seene That cutrish Sheepe-bisers haue hanged beene If any kinde of Tike should snarle or whine Or bite or wootry this poore Sheepe of mine Why let them barke and bite and spend their breath I le neuer with them a Sheepe bitter's death My Sheepe will haue them know her Innocence Shall liue in spight of their malcuolence I wish them keepe themselues and me from paine And bite such sheeps as cannot bite againe For if they snap at mine I haue a pen That like a truky dog shall bite agen And in conclusion this I humbly crane That euery one the honesty may haue That when our fraile mortality is past We may be the good Shepheards sheepe at last FINIS THE PRAISE OF HEMP-SEED WITH The Voyage of Mr. Roger Bird and the Writer hereof in a Boat of browne-Paper from London to Quinborough in Kent As also a Farewell to the matchlesse deceased Mr. THOMAS CORIAT The Profits arising by Hemp seed are Cloathing Food Fishing Shipping The Profits arising by Hemp seed are Pleasure Profit Iustice Whipping DEDICATED TO THE RIGHT WORSHIP FVLL PAternes and Patrons of honest endeuours Sir THOMAS HOVVET and Sir ROBERT WISEMAN Knights And to the worthy Gentleman M r. IOHN WISHMAN Health Mirth and Happinesse be euer attendants NOBLE SIRS I Could haue soyled a greater volume then this with a deale of emptie and triuiall scuffe as puling Sonets whining Elegies the dog-trickes of Loue â—â—â—â— to mocke Apes and transforme men into Asses Which kind of writing is like a man in Authoritie ancient in yeares rouerend in Beard with a promising out-side of Wisedome and Grauitie yet in the expected performances of his profound vnder standing his capacitie speakes nething but Mutimus But heere your Worships shall find no such stuffe for thou I haue not done as I should yet I haue performed as much as I could I haue not had riuers of Oyle or fountaines of wine to fill this my poore caske or booke but I haue as it were extracted oyle out of steels and wine out of dry chaffe I haue here of a graine of Hemp-seed made a mountaine greater then the Apenines or Caucalus and not much lesser then the whole world Here is Labour Profit Cloathing Pleasure Food Nauigation Diuinitie Poetry the liberall Arts Armes Vertues defence Vices offence a true mans protection a Thiefes execution Here is mirth and matter all beaten out of this small Seed With all my selfe for my selfe and in the behalfe of Mr. Roger Bird doe most humbly thanke your Worships for many former vndeserued courtesies and fauours extended towards vs especially at our going our dangerous Voyage in the Paper boat for which wee must euer acknowledge our selues bound to your Goodnesses Which voyage I haue merrily related at the end of this Pamphlet which with the rest I haue made bold to dedicate to your Worshipfull and worthy Patronages humbly desiring your pardons and acceptances euer remaining to bee commanded by yon and yours in all obsequiousnesse IOHN TAYLOR THE CONTENTS OF THIS BOOKE 1 The most part of such Authors are nominated as haue written of
a Pease And to the world I 'le cause it to appeare VVho e're giues for you twenty pounds a yeareâ— Must from the Marchants pilfer fourescore more Or else he cannot liue and pay the score And to close vp this point I say in briefe VVho buyes it is a Begger or a Thiefe Or else a Foole or to make all agree He may be Foole Thiefe Begger all the Three So you false Bottles to you both adieu The Thames for me not a Denier for you FINIS VERBVM SEMPITERNVM DEDICATED TO THE MOST GRACIOVS AND ILLVSTRIOVS KING CHARLES MOst mightie Soveraigne to your hands I giue The summe of that which makes Vs euer liue I humbly craue acceptance at your hand And rest your Servant ever to Command IOHN TAYLOR To the Reader THou that this little Booke dost take in hand Before thou Iudge bee sure to vnderstand And as thy kindnesse thou extend'st to mee At any time I le doe as much for thee Thine IOHN TAYLOR Genesis IEhouah heere of nothing all things makes And man before all things his God forsakes Yet by th' Almighties mercy 't was decreed Heau'ns Haire should satisfie for maus misdeed Mans age is long and all are great not good And all saue eight are drowned in the Flood Old Noah second sire to worst and best Of Cham the eurst Iaphet and Sem blest Of Abrahams starre-like numberlesse encrease Of of-springs of-springs and his rest in peace Of Israels going into AEgypt and Of their abode and liuing in that Land Of Iosephs brethren faithlesse and vnkind Of his firme Faith and euer constant mind He pardons them that did his death deuise He sâ—es his Childrens children and he dyes Exodus Th' increase of Iacobs stocke is growne past number And feare of them the AEgyptean King doth cumber Who giuing credit to the Inchanters tales Commands to kill all Infant Hebrew Males But Moses is preserued in the Riuer To be a Captaine Israel to deliuer Sterne Pharaobs cruell Adamantine heart Will not permit Gods people to depart Ten plagues froÌ„ heau'n are on th' AEgyptians powr'd Bloud frogs lice flyes beasts scabs haile thundring showr'd Grashoppers darknesse death of first borne men These were the AEgyptian plagues in number ten The Isra'lites are freed and Pharaobs Host In chasing them are in the red Sea lost A cloud doth shrowd them from the burning day By night a fierie Piller leades the way The murmuring people fearingfamine railes God raines down Manna from the Heauen quailes The Law is writ in stone to Moses giuen By Gods owne hand to guide man vnto Heauen The Ceremoniall Sacrifice is taught As types of whom out blest redemption's wrought Leniticus Heere man is shew'd it is the Almightles will To guard the good and to correct the ill The truest Seruice of the highest stands In no mans fancie but as he commands And cause men are so apt from Grace to swerue He shewes them here their Maker how to serue The Leuites are appointed by the Lord To preach vnto his chosen flocke the word Numbers Old Iacobs blessed off spring numbred are Their valiant Captaines and their men of Warre Curst Korah with his kinsman despâ—rate Datâ—â—n And bold Abiram three sworne Sonnes of Sathad Rebell 'gainst Moses with their tongues vnhallowed And by the earth by heau'ns just Vengeance swallowed The Israelites to fell confusion brings Great Og and Sibâ—n misbeleeuing Kings Where Balaam thought to eurse of force he blest And by his Asse was told how he transgrest Fiue Midian Monarchs Iudaes Host doth slay And all their spoyle diuided as a pray The Land of Câ—naan measur'd is and found That in it all things plenteous doe abound Deutâ—ronomy This Booke againe the Law of God repeats With blessings cursings teachings and with threats Meeke Moses dyes lyes in an vnknowne too me And Nuns Son Iosuab doth supply his roome Ioshua Great Captaine Ioshua great in faith and courage Through greatest dangers valiantly doth forrage He passeth Iordane with his mighty host And to the Tribes diuideth Coast from Coast. The harlot Rahab doth preserue the Spyes She knowes the Lord that reignes aboue the skyes They all passe Iordan which is parted dry Whilst they securely match inuasiuâ—ly The feare of Cananâ—tes doth much increase Ierichoes tane and Manna here doth cease Vile Achan closely steales the cursed prey And Israels beaten from the Wals of Ai Fiue Kings are hang'd and Phebus standeth still At Iosuah's prayer whilst he his Foes did kill Iust one and thirty mighty Kings were slaine Ere Israel could in peace the Land attaine Which being done the bloudy warres doe cease Their faithfull Captains Ioshuah dyes in peece Iudges Iuda is Captaine Anaks Sonnes are flaine The Câ—nanites as vassals doe remaine The Israelites rebell and serue strange Gods And are all plagu'd with heau'ns correcting reds The men of Midia Isra'l much did greeue Stout Gideon comes their sorrowes to releeue And is Gods Spirit doth his Seruant moue He ouerthrowes Baals Altar and his Groue A womans hand King Iabins Hoste doth quaile And kild his Captaine Sis'ra with a naile Abimeleh by wrong the kingdome gaines A woman dashe oat his ambitious braines Victorious Iphâ—ab rashly sweares not good And ends his conquest in his Daugliters blood Great Sampson's borne whoseuer marchlesse strength Orethrowes the Philistims in bredth and length Faire flattering Dalâ—lab her Lord deceiues He 's â—ane himselfe himselfe of life bereaues The Beniamites abus'd a Leuites wife For which all but sixe hundred lost their life Ruth According to the flesh this woman Ruth Was ancient Grandame to th' eternall Truth And though the from the Mâ—abites doth come It shewes th' Almighty in all Lands hath some 1. Samuel The Prophet Samuel's borne and Elies Sonnes To sinne and flat confusion headlong runnes The Isralites are by the Lord forsaken And by the Philistins the Arke is taken The figur'd presence of this all in All Doth make the Diuels inuention Dagon fall God takes his people to his loue againe The Ark's brought backe the Philistines are slaine The Sonnes of Samuel wrong their Fathers trust By partiall Indgements and with bribes vniust Saul seeking straying Asses findes a Crowne And is annointed King in Raman towne The fell Philistians Isrâ—el doth oppresse King Saul doth proudly gainst the Lord transgresse God dids kill Agag Saul will haue him spar'd His will more than his Gods he doth regard Goliah armed leades an hoste from Gath Defies the Lord of Hosts prouokes his wrath Yong Dauid comes and in his hand a sling And with a stone the Gyant downe doth ding Old Ishays Sonne before the Kings preferr'd And Dauid hath Sauls Daughter for reward Th' ingratefull King seekes Dauids causlesse death True hearted Ionathan preserues his breath Saul leaues his God and to a Witch doth goe And so himselfe himselfe doth ouerthrow The Philistines his childrens bloud doe spill And with his Sword King Saul King Saul did kill Saul leaues his God and to a Witch doth goe And
of good men and the reprobate In many places they doe seeme to vary And beare a sence from Scripture quite contrary In Tobis and Dame Indith disagrees From Text and Raâ—es in the Machabâ—es For which the Church hath euer held it fit To place them by themselues from holy writ FINIS SALVATOR MVNDI DEDICATED TO THE HIGH MAIESTIE OF QVEENE MARY GReat Queene I haue with paines and labour tooke From out the greatest Booke this little Booke And with great Reuerence I haue cull'd from thence All things that are of greatest consequence And though the Volumne and the Worke bee small Yet it containes the summe of all in ALL. To you I giue it with a heart most feruent And rest your humble Subiect and your Seruant IOHN TAYLOR To the Reader HEere Reader then maist read for little cost How thou wast ransoâ—â—'d when thou quite wast lost Mans gracelesuesse and Gods exceeding grace Thou here maist reade and see in little space IOHN TAYLOR Mathew LOe here the blessed Sonne of God and Man New borne who was before all worlds began Of heau'nly seed th' eternall liuing Rocke Of humane race of Kingly Dauids stocke Our blest Redeemer whom the Prophets old In their true preachings had so oft foretold In figures ceremonies types and tropes He here sulfils their words confirmes their hopes The worlds saluations sole and totall summe Poore Mankinds Sauiour IESVS CHRIST is come From married Mary wife and Virgin springs This heauenly earthly supreame King of Kings He 's naked borne and in a manger layd Where he and 's Mother blessed wife and maid Are by the wite men sought and seeking found And hauing found their ioyes doe all abound Where they their loue their zeale their faith vnfold And offer incense myrthe and purest gold False-hearted Herod seeketh to destroy This new borne Infant our eternall ioy But Ioseph by a dreame is warn'd by night T'ward AEgypt with the Babe to take his flight Amongst th' AEgyptians be not longsoiournes But backe to Naz'reth he againe returnes To end the Law the Babe was circumcis'd And then by Iohn in Iordane was baptiz'd When loe the Father from his glorious Throne Sends downe the Holy Ghost vpon his Sonne In likenesse of a pure vnspotted Doue Which did his Birth and Baptis me both approue Now subtill Sathan he attempts and tempts him And fasting to the wildernesse exempts him But Iesus power the soule siends power destroyd Commanding Sathan hence Auoyd Auoyd The fearefull Diuell doth slee Christ goes and preaches And in the Mountaine multitudes he reaches He said Repentance wipes away transgressings And to the godly he pronounced blessings Hee makes the lame to goe the blind to see Deafe heare dumbe speake the leapers cleansed be The diuels from the possessed out he draue The dead are rais'd the poore the Gospell haue Such things he doth as none but God can doe And all 's to bring his flock his fold vnto All that are laden come to me quoth he And I will ease you therefore come to me You of your heauy sinnes I doe acquite My yoake is easie and my burden's light Vpon Mount Taber there our blest Messias Doth shew himselfe with Moses and Elias Yet all these mightie wonders that he wrought Nor all the heauenly teachings that he taught The stiffe neckd stubborne Iewes could not conuert But they ramaine obdurate hard of heart The man quoth some by whom these things are done It is the Carpenters poore Iosephs Sonne Some said how be these things to a passe did bring By power of Belzebub thâ—insernall King Thus with the poyson of their enuious tongues They guerdon good with ill and right with wrongs His owne not knowes him Iudas doth betray him To Annas and to Caiphas they conuey him From Caiphas backe to Annas and from thence Is sent this euerlasting happy Prince Thus is this death this sirâ—â— this Sathan-killer Mongst sinnefull wretches tost from post to Piller He 's slouted spitted on derided stript â— He 's most vnmercifully scourg'd and whipt By Impious people he 's blasphem'd and rail'd And of the Iewes in scorne as King is hail'd He like a Lambe vnto his death it led Nail'd on the Crosse for man his heart bloud shed He after three dayes glorious doth arise He leaues the sinnefull earth and mounts the skyes But first to his Disciples he appeures Where he their drooping halfe dead Spirits cheares Marke Saint Marke declares how blest baptizing Iohn Fore-runner was of Gods eternall Son Which Iohn in Wildernesse baptizes teaches And of contrition and remishon preaches Our Sauiour calls no Pharisees or Scribes Or princely people out of Iudahs Tribes But Simon Andrew Iames and Iohn are those Poore toy ling Fishermen which Iesus chose To shew that with the humblest smallest things God greatest matters to perfection brings By sundry wondrous workes our Sauiour Iesus From sinne and Sathan lab'reth to release vs. And in requitall the Ingratefull Iewes Deuise their blest Redeemer to abuse Some inwardly doe hate him some belye him His Seruants all for sake him or deny him But Peter thou wast bless in â—hy dyniall Orthy presuming thou hast â—â—â— the tryall Repentance wasâ— away thy â—â—nities crimes And thou a parterpâ— to after times The Sonne and Heire of neuer sading Heau'n Into the hands of sinfull meâ—s giuen He dyes he 's buried and in glory rises Triumphing ouer all his foes deuises S. Luke Heere Mary and old Zacharias sings In ioyfull manner to the King of Kings And aged Simeon in his armed did take The Lord of life and doth reioycings make Christ teaches preaches mercy vnto all That by amendment will for mercy call He 's tane and by false witnesses accus'd He 's beaten scoffed scorned and abus'd He 's hang'd vpon the Crosse betwixt two theeues The one doth rails on him and one beleeues He dies he 's buried tising he doth quell And conquer all his soes sin death and hell B. Iohn In the beginning was th' eternall Word The Word with God was and that Word the Lord In the beginning the same Word with God Was and for euer hath with him abead With it were all things made and made was nought Without this Word the which was made or wrought Here Christs Diuinity is told by Iohn The blessed Trinitie one three three one How God had now perform'd the oath he swore To Abram and to Israel long before How Christ should come to ransome Aaaâ—es losse And satisfie Gods Iustice on the crosse Though times and places farre a sunderb Yet Prophets and Euangelists agree In Iesus birth his Doctrine life and death Whereby our dying Soules gaâ— ne liuing breath If all things should be writ which â—rst was done By Iesus Christ Gods euerlasting Sonne From Cratch to Crosse from Cradle to his tombe To hold the Bookes the world would not be roome Acts. Th' Apostles praising God and singing Songs The holy Ghost in fierie clouen tongues Descends vpon them who are all inspir'd With
learned langâ—ages adorn'd admir'd Saint Peter preaching tels the people plaine How they the liuing Lord of life had slaine Some slout and mocke remaining stubborne hearted And many Soules peruerted are conuerted The Church increases daily numbers comes And to the Gospels furth'ring giue great Summes Acts. False Ananias and his faithlesse wife In dreadfull manner lost their wretched life The enuious people stone the Martye Steuen He praying for his foes leaues earth for Heauen The Churches Arch foe persecuting Saul Is made a conuert and a preaching Paul He 's clapt in Prison manacled nad fetter'd And through his troubles still his zeale is better'd Th Apostle Iames by Herod's put to death And Herod eat with Lice loft hatefull breath Th' increasing Church amongst the Gentiles spreds By Nâ—re Paul and Peter lost their heads Romanes Th' Apostle Paul from Corinth writes to Rome To strength their faith and tell them Christ is come He shewes how high and low both Iew and Greeke Are one with God who faithfully him seeke He tels how sinne in mortall bodies luâ—kes How we are sau'd by faith and not by workes In louing tearmes the people he doth moue To Faith to Hope to Charity and Loue. 1. Corinthâ— Paul to Corinthus from Philippy sends Their Zeale and Faith he louingly commends He tels them if Gods Seruice they regard Th' eternall Crowne of life is their reward 2. Corinths In this Saint Paul sends the Corinthians word Afflictions are the blessings of the Lord. He doth desire their Faith may still increase He wishes their prosperity and peace Galathians He tels them that their whole Saluations cause Is all in Christ and not in Moses Lawes The Law 's a glasse where men their sinnes doe sec And that by Christ we onely saued be Ephesians Paul bids cast off the old man with his vice And put on Christ our blest redempcions price Philippians He bids them of false teachers to beware He tels them that Humilitie is rare And though they liue here in a vaile of strife Yet for them layd vp is the Crowne of life Colossians Th' Apostle doth reioyce and praiseth God That these Colossians in true Faith abode He praiseth them he bids them watch and pray That sin an Sathan worke not their decay 1. Thessalonians He thanketh God his labour 's not in vaine So stedfast in the faith these men remaine That they to others are ablelled light By their example how to liue vpright 2. Thessalonians Againe to them he louingly doth write He bids them pray the Gospell prosper might He wishes them prosperitie and wealth And in the end Soules euerlasting health 1. and 2. to Timothy Paul shewes to Timothy a By shop must In life and doctrine be sincâ—re and iust And how the Scriptures power haue to perswade Whereby the man of God is perfect made Titus To Titus 'mongst the Creetans Paul doth send And warnes him what â—allow or reprehend Philemon Paul earnestly the Master doth request To pardon his poore man that had transgrest Hebrewes Although this booke doth beare no Authors name It shewes the Iews how they thier liues should frame And that the Ceremoniall Law is ended In Christ in whom all grace is comprenended S. Iames. Heare speake and doe well the Apostle faith For by thy workes a man may see thy faith I. and 2. to Peter He counsels vs be sober watch and pray And still be ready for the Iudgement day 1 2 and 3. of Iohn He shewes Christ di'de and from the graue arose To saue his friends and to confound his foes S. Iude. Iude bids them in all Godlinesse proceed And of deceiuing teachers on take heed Reuelation Diuine S. Iohn to Pathmos I le exilde This heauenly worâ— t' instruct vs he compild He tels the godly God shall be their gaines He threats she godlesse with eternall paines He shewes how Antichrist should reigne and rage And how our Sauiour should his pride asswage How Christ in glory shall to Iudgement come And how all people must abide his doome A Prayer GOod God Almighty in compassion tender Preserue and keepe King Charles thy Faiths defender Thy Glory make his Honor still increase In Peace in Warres and in Eternall peace Amen THE BOOKE OF MARTYRS DEDICATED TO THE RIGHT HONOVRABLE WILLIAM EARLE OF PEMBROOKE c. MY Lord my weake Collection out hath tooke The summe and pith of the great Martyrs Booke For pardon and protection I intreat The Volume's little my presumption great IOHN TAYLOR I Sing their deaths who dying made death yeeld By Scriptures sword and faiths vnbattered shield Whom Sathan men or monsters could not tame Nor sorde them to deny their Sauiours name Euangelists that did the Gospell write Apostles and braue Martyrs that did fight Gainst death and hell and all the power of sin And boldly dâ—de eternall life to win Iohn Baptist by King Herod lost his head Who to the world repentance published Our blest Redeemer in his loue did follow And conquered death mans sinfull soule to hallow He was the death of death and he did quell The sting and power of Sathan sin and hell And vnder his great standard valiantly A number numberlesse haue darde to die Through bondage famine slauery sword and fire Through all deuised torments they aspire Victoriously to gaine th' immortall Crowne Of neuer-ending honour and renowne Saint Steuen was the third that lost his breath And for his Masters sake was ston'd to death And after him in Scripture may we reade The Apostle Iames was brain'd and butchered Saint Marke th Euangelist in fire did burne And Bartholmen was flead yet would not turne Saint Andrew like a valliant champion dide And willing on a croste was crucifide Matthias Philip Peter and Saint Paul Ston'd crucified beheaded Martyrs all Th' Apostles of their liues no reckoning make And thinke them well spent for their Sauiours sale The tyrant Emperours in number ten Most cruell barb'rous and inhumaine men More Christians by their bloudy meanes did sâ—â—y Then for a yeere fiue thousand to each day And many Romane Bishops in those dayes Were Martyrd to their high Creators praise And though each day so many thousands bleed Yet doubtly more and more they daily breed As Camomile growes better bâ—ing trod So death and tortures draw more vnto God Or as the vine that 's cut and prun'd beares more In one yeere then it did in three before This bloudy persecution did out-weare After Christs death the first three hundred yeere Thus did the primitiue first Church endure Being Catholike Apostolike and pure Then ouer all the world t was truely knowne That Romish Bishops claimed but their owne In their owne Diocesse to be chiefe Pastor And not to be the worlds great Lord and master And now our Britaine glory will I sing From Lucius reign the worlds first Christian King Vnto these dayes of happy peacefull state A Catalogue of Martyrs I le relate First Vrsula and eleuen thousand with her All Virgins for