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A34836 Wit and loyalty reviv'd in a collection of some smart satyrs in verse and prose on the late times / by Mr. Abraham Cowley, Sir J. Berkenhead, and the ingenious author of Hudibras, &c. Cowley, Abraham, 1618-1667.; Birkenhead, John, Sir, 1616-1679.; Butler, Samuel, 1612-1680. 1682 (1682) Wing C6697; ESTC R35660 25,788 40

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shackled his Spirit he would be a Devil without a circle and now if he see the Book of Common-prayer the fire sees it next as sure as the Bishops were burned who compiled it Yet he has mercy on Hopkins and Sternhold because their Me●●ers are sung without Authority no Statute Canon or Injunction at all only like himself first crept into private houses and then into Churches Mr. Rous moved those Me●ters might be sequestred and his own new Rithmes to enjoy the sequestration but was refused because John Hopkins was as ancient as John Calvin Besides when Rous stood forth for his Trial Robin Wisdom was found the better Poet. 'T is true they have a Directory but 't is good for nothing but Adoniram who sold the Original for 400 l. And the Book must serve both England and Scotland as the Directory Needle point's North and South The Assembler's only ingenuity is that he prays for an ex tempore Spirit since his Conscience tells him he has no Learning His prayer thus ended he then looks round to observe the Sex of his Congregation and accordingly turns the Apostle's Men Fathers and Brethren into Dear Brethren and Sisters For his usual Auditory is most-part Female and as many Sisters flock to him as at Paris on Saint Margarets day when all come to Church that are or hope to be with child that year He divides his Text as he did the Kingdom makes one part fight against another or as Burges divides the Dean of Paul's House not into parts but Tenements that is so as 't will yield most money And properly they are Tenements for each part must be dwelt upon though himself comes near it but once a Quarter and so his Text is rather let out than Divided Yet sometimes to shew his skill in Keckerman he Butchers a Text cuts it just as the Levite did his Concubine into many dead parts breaking the sence and words all to pieces and then they are not divided but shattered like the Splinters of Don Quixot's Lance. If his Text be to the occasion his first Dish is Apples of Gold in Pictures of Silver yet tells not the People what Pictures those were HisSermon and prayer grin at each other the one is Presbyterian the other Independent for he preaches up the Classes yet prays for the Army Let his Doctrine and Reason be what they will his Use is still to save his Benefice and augment his Lecture He talks much of Truth but abhorrs Peace lest it strip him as naked as Truth and therefore hates a personal Treaty unless with a Sister He has a rare simpering way of expressions he calls a Marryed Couple Saints that enjoy the mistery a man Drunk is a Brother full of the Creature Yet at Wedding Sermons he is very familiar like that Picture in the Church at Leyden shews Adam Eve without Figleaves AtFunerals he gives infallibleSigns that the Party is gone to Heaven but his chief Mark of a child of God is to be good to God's Ministers And hence it is he calls his Preachment Manna fitted not to his hearers Necessity but their Palat for 't is to feed himself not them If he chance to tire he refreshes himself with the Peoples Hum as a Collar of Bells to chear up a Pack-horse 'T is no wonder he 'll preach but that any will hear him and his constant Auditors do but shew the length of their Ears For he is such an 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that to hear him makes good Scholars sick but to read him is death Yet though you heard him three hours he 'll ask a fourth as the Beggar at Delph craves your Charity because he eats four pound of Bread at a Meal 'T was from his Larum the Watch-makers learn'd their infinite Skrew His Glass and Text are equaly handled that is once an hour nay sometimes be sally's and never returns and then we should leave him to the Company of Lorimers for he must be held with Bit and Bridle Who ever once has been at his Church can never doubt the History of Balaam If he have got any new Tale or Expression 't is easier to make stones speak than him to hold his peace He hates a Church where there is an Eccho for it Robs him of his dear Repetition and confounds the Auditory as well as he But of all Mortals I admire the Short-hand-men who have the patience to write from his Mouth had they the art to shorten it into Sense they might write his whole Sermon on the back of their Nail For his Invention consists in finding a way to speak nothing upon any thing and were he in the Grand Seignior's power he would lodge him with his Mutes for Nothing and Nothing to purpose are all one I wonder in conscience he can preach against Sleeping at his Opium-Sermons He preaches indeed both in season and out of season for he rayl's at Popery when the Land is almost lost in Presbytery and would cry out Fire Fire in Noah's Flood Yet all this he so acts with his Hands that in this sence too his Preaching is an Handicraft Nor can we complain that Plays are put down while he can preach save only his Sermons have worse sence and less truth But he blew down the Stage and preach'd up the Scaffold And very wisely lest men should track him and find where he pilfers all his best Simile's the only thing wherein he is commendable St Paul himself having cull'd Sentences from Menander's Thais though 't was his worst that is unchast Comedy Sometimes the Assembler will venture at the Original and then with the translator of Don Quixot he mistakes Sobs and Sighs for Eggs and Collops But commonly for want of Greek and Latin he learns Hebrew and streight is illuminated that is mad his Brain is broke by a Brickbat cast from the Tower of Babel And yet this empty windy Teacher has Lectur'd a War quite round the Kingdom he has found a Circulation of blood for Destruction as famous Harvey for Preservation of Mankind 'T was easie to foresee a great Mortality when Ravens were heard in all Corporations For as Multitude of Froggs presage a Pestilence so croaking Lecturers foretold an Assembly Men come to Church as the Great Alexander went to Sacrifice led by Crows You have seen a small Elder-tree grow in chinks and clefts of Church-walls it seems rather a Weed than a Tree which lend it growth makes a Rent in the Wall and throws down the Church Is not this the Assembler grown from Schisms which himself begot and if permitted will make the Church but a Floor or Church-yard Yet for all this he will be call'd Christ's Minister and Saint as the Rebells against King John were the Army of God Sure when they meet they cannot but smile for the dullest amongst them needs must know that they all cheat the people such gross low impostors that we die the death of the Emperor Claudius poyson'd by
proposed to the Sole Power of granting Licences and Indulgences for Liberty of Conscience within the Kingdom of England Dominion of Wales and Town of Barwick may be vested in the Persons under named for the Term of seven years under the Farm Rent of an hundred Thousand Pounds per Annum to Commence from the twenty fifth day of March next under such Rates and Qualifications as are hereafter specified The Names of the Grand Commissioners and Farmers of Liberty of Conscience proposed on Monday March 2. 1662. being the day of a private Fast kept by Mr. Calamy Mr. Baxter and others at Mr. Beal's house near my Lord of Ely's Chappel in Holborn Mr. Edmund Calamy Mr. Titham late of Colchester Mr. Philip Nye Mr. Feak Mr. Stanley of Dorchester George Fox Executor of the last Will and Testament of James Nailor deceased Doctor Lazarus Seaman Mr. Dell late of Cambridge Doctor Owen Mr. Bryan late of Coventry Mr. Matthew Mead. Mr. John Coppin Dr. Manton Mr. Kiffen The Executor of Mr. Venner lately executed Mr. Thomas Case Mr. Reynor late of Lincoln Mr. Ralph Venning Mr. Rogers Mr. Benn late of Dorchester Mr. George Griffith late of Charterhouse The Executor of Hugh Peters lately executed Mr. George Newton late of Taunton Mr. Dan. Dyke late of Hertfordshire Mr. William Jenkins Mr. Fisher late of Kent Doctor Thomas Goodwin Mr. Hammond late of New-castle Mr. Peter Sterry Mr. Bridges late of Yarmouth Mr. Joseph Carryll Mr. Tombes late of Lemster Mr. Leegh late of Lumbard-street Mr. Mayo late of Kingston Mr. Joshua Sprigg Mr. Henry Jessey Mr. Newcomen of Dedham in Essex Doctor Tuckney of Cambridge Doctor Cornelius Burges Mr. Zachary Crofton Doctor Holmes Mr. John Cann Mr. Thomas Brooks That the Persons aforesaid may be constituted Grand Commissioners and Farmers of Liberty of Conscience within the Kingdom of England Dominion of Wales and Town of Berwick and may be impowred to set up one publick Office within the City of London and to nominate and elect a convenient number of Registers Clerks and other Officers And for the more certainty of all Certificates to be granted as is hereafter appointed the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers may forme a common Seal to be known and called by the common name of The publick Seal of the Grand Commissioners and Farmers of Liberty of Conscience engraven An Ass without Ears Braying with this Motto encircled Stat pro ratione Libertas And the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers or any twenty four of them in the said Office assembled may from time to time compound and agree for Liberty of Conscience with any Person or Persons under such Rates and Qualifications as are hereafter specified That the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers or any twenty four of them may constitute and appoint under the Publick Seal of the Office Sub Commissioners and other Officers for every County within the said Kingdom not exceeding the number of twelve for each County whereof seven to be a Quorum who may compound and agree for Liberty of Conscience with any person or persons Select Congregations Cities Towns Corporate Parishes Hamlets and Villages by the great or otherwise within their respective Countries not exceeding the Rates hereafter mentioned Rates to be observed in all Compositions for Liberty of Conscience Per Annum A Presbyterian Minister 500 A Ruling Elder 400 A Deacon 300 A Hearer Male or Female in Fellowship to all Ordinances 200 A Common Hearer only 100 An Independant Pastor 5 A Teaching Elder 400 A Helper in Government 300 A Deacon 300 A Hearer Male or Female in Fellowship to all Ordinances 200 A common Hearer only 100 A Baptist admitted to the Administration of all Ordinances 500 A preaching Assistant 400 An Elder in Office 300 A Deacon 200 A Hearer in Fellowship Male or Female to all Ordinances 200 A common Hearer only 100 A Fifth Monarcher admitted to hold forth 500 An Elder under the same Administration 300 A Deacon under the same Administration 300 A Hearer Male or Female in Fellowship according to the value of his or her Estate 2 s. per l. per annum A common Hearer male or female according to the value of his or her Estate 12 d. per l. per annum A speaking male Quaker 400 A speaking female Quaker 300 A common Quaker male or Female 200 A Confessor 600 A Seminary of Mass-Priest at large 500 A private Mass-priest 400 A Roman Catholick in any other Order 300 A Roman Catholick not in order Male or Female 100 An Officer under any Administration not mentioned in the Rates aforesaid being a Native of England such only excepted as stand Conformable to the Church of England 500 A common person under any Administration not mentioned in the Rates aforesaid being a Native of England such only excepted as stand Conformable to the Church of England 200 An Officer under any Administration whatsoever not a Native of England except conformable to the Church of England 1000 A private person under any Administration whatsoever not a Native of England except conformable to the Church of England 500 Rates to be observed in compounding for Liberty of Conscience in the Particulars following viz. FOR Liberty to assert the Pope's Supremacy 1000 For Liberty to write speak or preach against the Government as they shall be inwardly moved 500 For Liberty to keep on their Hats before Magistrates or in Courts of Judicature 200 For Liberty to rail publickly against the Bishops and Common-Prayer 100 For Liberty to refuse all manner of Oaths of Allegiance and Supremacy or in Cases Civil or Criminal 200 For Liberty to deny Tithes and other Church Duties 100 For Liberty to expound the Revelations and the Book of Daniel 100 For liberty to disturb any Congregation after Sermon 0100 For Liberty to assert the Solemn League and Covenant 150 For liberty to instruct youth in the short Catechism set forth by the Assembly of Divines 0100 That any Person or Persons gifted for any the Particulars abovesaid may have Liberty therein either as an Itinerate in private or publick at the Rates abovesaid That no person or persons be admitted to compound for Liberty of Conscience untill he or they have first taken and subscribed to the Solemn Protestation following before the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers or their Sub Commissioners respectively I A. B. do here solemnly protest That I judge my self still bound by the Solemn League and Covenant by the Engagement by private Church-Covenant or by any other Oath which I have taken ever since the Year 1641. And that so far as with Safety to my Person and Estate I may I will endeavour the utter Ertirpation of Episcopacy and to the utmost of my Power will abett and promote all Schism Faction and Discord both in Church and State according to the best form and manner prescribed and laid open in the Sermons of many of the Grand Commissioners and Farmers before the Parliament appointed to be Printed and now called the Homilies
following be recommended to their Consideration in the Work of the Day 1. To Bewail 1. All our Court Sins 2. Our Bishops Sins 3. Our Monks Sins 4. Our Common Prayer Sins 2. To Divert 1. Westminster Hall Judgments 2. Our Old-Baily Judgments 3. Our Tower-Hill Judgments 4. Our Charing-Cross Judgments 5. Our Tyburn Judgments Lastly For Deliverance from the Hand of Dun that uncircumcifed Philistine That the said Grand Comissioners and Farmers of Liberty of Conscience may have Power to build Churches and Chappels in any place or places except upon such Ground where Churches or Chappels do already stand in regard of the Inconvenience of setting up Altar against Altar And forasmuch as the Custom of reading some part of the Holy Bible before Sermon comonly called First and Second Lessons hath been found fruitless That therefore the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers may have power to appoint instead thereof the Annual reading of those Sermons preached by many of the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers before the Parliament upon special Occasions of Thanksgiving and Humiliation from the Year 1641. to the Year 1648 Which said Sermons may be called the Homilies of the Separating Churches That the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers may have Power to require Mr. Gilbert Millington and Mr. Luke Robinson the lame Evangelist to deliver up all such Articles Orders Books Papers and other Writings as were transacted before the late Committee for Plundered Ministers and likewise all such as were passed and transacted before Mr. Philip Ney and some others of the now Grand Commissioners and Farmers and heretofore called Commissioners or Spiritual Tryers to the end the said Articles Orders Books and other Papers may be Printed and Published and may be kept at the said Office upon Record for ever and appointed to be the Book of Canons of the Seperated Churches All this being done we may upon Scripture Grounds expect that the Door of Hope may yet be open to Us and our Children after us to see the Travel of our Souls and to set us into the Promised Land and to reap some of those Clusters of the Grapes of Canaan which with so much Labor and Toyl of Body and Mind were planted especially in the Years of 1641 42 43 44 45. by many of Us and other Precious Saints and Ministers of the Gospel who are since fallen asleep and have we hope reaped the Fruits of those Labors the Lord having in that day put a mighty Spirit into Us and set us as Watchmen upon the Towers of Israel to cry mightily Curse ye Meroz curse ye bitterly Grant that those Heart-breaking Labors of Ours those King-destroying Labors those Kingdom-ruining Labors those Gospel-scandalizing Labors those Church-subverting Labors those Soul-confounding Labors of Ours may never be forgotten but may be written as with the point of a Diamond upon the Heart of the King upon the Hearts of the Bishops upon the Heart of the Parliament and upon the Hearts of all the People from Dan to Beersheba that so in God's good time we may receive our Reward Seven-fold into our own Bosoms and that the Generations to come may hear and fear and do no more so wickedly So prays S. Butler The Round-Heads Resolution WHereas we are through our great Ignorance and Obstinacy grown to a most Seditious and Malignant head and the Horns of that Head though of a main length not able to support our Arrogant Faction as appears by our last being soundly slash'd and bastinado'd by a mad Crew called the Cavaliers and whereas a great part of Us have shut up our Shops because we could no longer keep them open which kind of shutting up proceedeth commonly from our vast Expence in White-broths Custards and other Luxurious Dishes provided for the Edification one of another And whereas the Multitude called True Protestants endeavor to hold up Bishops to maintain good Order Discipline and Orthodox Preaching in the Church Learning and Arts in the Universities and Peace in the Common-wealth all which is nothing but Idolatry Superstition Profaneness and plain Popery And further whereas we who are nothing properly but Round heads and Fanaticks are in most scandalous manner termed Holy Brethren the Zealots of the Land and which in sincerity we never were or ever will be And sorasmuch likewise as the prophane World of True Protestants are a stiff-necked Generation and will not yield unto Us the Preheminence of Doctrine and Religion not withstanding the many Senceless two hours of those Spiritual Trumpets of Our Faction the Sanctified Clergy-Lecturers or of Our more Divine Lectures of our Supreme Shee-Lecturers whose Bowels do even earne for the getting in of the Saints unto Us and have as it were even a zealous lusting after Us. And forasmuch as the Religion professed by Us in the purest and most decent as appears by the great Love and Community betwixt the Brethren and the Sisters the Conveniency of the Woods Saw-pits and Dark Places the putting out Lights and defying those Tapers of Iniquity which cause us to behold our own Wicked Deeds the gooly Bigness of the Ear with the shortness of the Hair which hindereth not the Sound of the Shepheards Voice but easily heareth him call to a great Feast amongst the Rich Saints the length and sharpness of the Nose which not only smelleth the sweet Savors of the Holy Plum-broth but also promiseth an eager Appetite to some good Work towards the Younger Sisters the roundness of the Band the length of the Dublet and the shortness of the Breeches being a habit correspondent to the Pictures of the Apostles in the Geneva Print the mightiness of our Faith which is able to remove a Church into a Wood the Transparency of our Charity that is so invisible that neither the right hand nor the left ever knew it the Multitude of our Good Works which no man living can number the Godly Works of our tautological Prayers and the Zeal thereof which brings us even to Divine Consumption whereby we look like the Prodigal Son at his return home or the Priests in the Arras the defying of all Fathers Bishops and Doctors Conformable Persons Canonical Robes Ecclesiastical Gestures and Utensils all Learning liberal Arts and Degrees as the raggs of Superstition the dregs of Popery are abominable in the goggle eyes of a right Round-head and yet this simple Innocent Profession is scorned and baffled and by whom But by Scholars and such as profess Learning which is no more necessary to Religion than a Publick Church which verily is but a Den of Thieves when we are absent All which Grievances do stand with much reason and therefore are utterly against our tender Consciences and never were allowed by any Synod of More-fields or Westminster That therefore which we do now resolve to maintain and desire have confirmed and never to alter'd till some new toy tickle us in the Pericranium which will be very shortly is 1. That our Religion Tenants and Mannors before-mentioned be established and maintained against all Reason Learning Divinity Order Discipline Morality Piety or Humanity whatsoever 2. That the very Name of Bishops shall be a sufficient Jury and Judge to condemn any of them without any further Evidence or Circumstance 3. That if any man whatsoever having knowledge in the Latine Tongue being a Popish Language shall presume to think he can save a Soul by Preaching he be excommunicated both in this World and in the World to come unless it be some certain Lecturers of whose approved Rayling and Ignorance we are well assured and have known to stand six hours on a Fasting Day 4. That the Felt-maker and the Cobler two innocent Cuckolds may be instituted Primares and Metropolitans of the two Arch-Provinees and the rest of the Sect preserved according to their Imbecillities of Spirit to such Bishopricks and other Livings as will competently serve to procure fat Poultry sor the filling of their insatiate Stomachs in which regard Church-Livings had more need to be increased than diminished 5. That no man whatsoever who bears the name of Cavalier may be capable of making any of the Brethren a Cuckold unless he cut his Hair and alter his Profession but be excluded from the Conventicles as the King's Friend and a Reprobate 6. Lastiy That there be two whole days set apart to Fast and Pray for the Confusion of all that are not thus resolved A Caveat to the Round-Heads I Come to charge yee That slight the Clergy And pull the Miter from the Prelat's Head That you will be wary Least you miscarry In all these factious humors you have bred But as for Brownists we 'll have none But take them all and hang them one by one Your wicked Actions Joyn'd in Factions Are all but aims to rob the King of his due Then give this reason For your Treason That you 'll be rul'd if he 'll be rul'd by you Then leave these factions zealous Brother Least you be hanged one against another Your Wit abounded Gentle Round-head When you abus'd the Bishops in a Ditty When as you sanged You must be hanged A Timpinee of Malice made you witty And though your hot zeal made you bold When you are hang'd your Arse will be a cold Then leave confounding And expounding The Doctrine that you preach in Tubbs You raise this Warring And private Jarring I doubt in tinte will prove the Knave of Clubbs It 's for your Lying and not for your Oaths You shall be hang'd and Ketch shall have your Cloaths FINIS Parallel'd in Holy Cheats In Publishing False News as Legends In Mental Reservations In allowing Perjuries In an unintelligible Worship Both hold Justification by Works the one by Good the other by Ill Works Free-will one holds belongs to all men the other only to Parliament men They agree in interlining Scriptures and Creeds In Implicit Faith One believes Purgatory hereafter the other erects a Purgatory here The Assembly of Divines as infallible as a general Council One fasts Frydays Eves the other all Sundays Both have their Reliques Both claime to succeed St. Peter The one for Church Musick the other for Singing without Musick Both boast their Miracles Each hath a several Transubstantiation Both Infalible in Cathedra Both for deposing Kings the one by fair means the other by Foul. Their Avarice Their Ambition Lord Privy Seal Pennington Their Tirany The Counterfiet grivances of the Kings Reign compared with the Royal ones of their Usurpation viz. 1642.