Pierce Penilesse HIS SVPPLICATION to the Diuell Barbaria grandis habere nihil Written by Tho. Nash Gent. LONDON printed by Abell Ieffes for I. B. 1592. A priuate Epistle of the Author to the Printer Wherein his full meaning and purpose in publishing this Booke is set foorth FAith I am verie sorrie Sir I am thus vnawares betrayed to infamie You write to me my book is hasting to the second impression he that hath once broke the Ice of impudence need not care how deepe he wade in discredit I confesse it to be a meer toy not deseruing any iudicial mans view If it haue found any friends so it is you knowe very wel that it was abroad a fortnight ere I knewe of it vncorrected and vnfinished it hath offred it selfe to the open scorne of the world Had you not beene so forward in the republishing of it you shold haue had certayne Epistles to Orators and Poets to insert to the later end As namely to the Ghost of Macheuill of Tully of Ouid of Roscius of Pace the Duke of Norfolks Iester and lastly to the Ghost of Robert Greene telling him what a coyle there is with pamphleting on him after his death These were prepared for Pierce Penilesse first setting foorth had not the feare of infection detained mee with my Lord in the Countrey Now this is that I woulde haue you to do in this second edition First cut off that long-tayld Title and let mee not in the forefront of my Booke make a tedious Mountebanks Oration to the Reader when in the whole there is nothing praise-worthie I heare say there bee obscure imitators that goe about to frame a second part to it and offer it to sell in Paules Church-yard and elsewhere as from mee Let mee request you as euer you will expect any fauour at my hands to get some body to write an Epistle before it ere you set it to sale againe importing thus much that if any such lewde deuise intrude it selfe to their hands it is a coseanage and plaine knauery of him that sels it to get mony and that I haue no manner of interest or acquaintance with it Indeed if my leysure were such as I could wish I might haps halfe a yeare hence write the returne of the Knight of the Post from heâ— with the Deuils answer to the Supplication but as for a second part of Pierce Penilesse it is a most ridiculous rogery Other news I am aduertised of that a scald triuial lying pamphlet cald Greens groats-worth of wit is giuen out to be of my doing God neuer haue care of my soule but vtterly renouÌ„ce me if the least word or sillable in it proceeded from my pen or if I were any way priuie to the writing or printing of it I am growne at length to see into the vanity of the world more than euer I did and now I condemne my selfe for nothing so much as playing the dolt in Print Outvpon it it is odious specially in this moralizing age wherein euery one seeks to shew himselfe a Polititian by mis-interpreting In one place of my Booke Pierce Penilesse saith but to the Knight of the Post I pray how might I call you they say I meant one Howe a Knaue of that trade that I neuer heard of before The Anti quaries are offended without cause thinking I goe about to detract from that excellent profession when God is my witnesse I reuerence it as much as any of them all and had no manner of allusion to them that stumble at it I hope they wil giue me leaue to think there be fooles of that Art as well as of al other but to say I vtterly condemne it as an vnfruitfull studie or seeme to despise the excellent qualified partes of it is a most false and iniurious surmise There is nothing that if a man list he may not wrest or peruert I cannot forbid anie to thâ—nke villainously Sed caueat emptor Let the interpreter beware for none euer hard me make Allegories of an idle text Write who wil against me but let him look his life be without scandale for if he touch me neuer so litle I le be as good as the Blacke Booke to him his kindred Beggerly lyes no beggerly wit but can inuent who spurneth not at a dead dogge but I am of anothermettal they shall know that I liue as their euil Angel to haunt them world without end if they disquiet me without cause Farewell and let me heare from you as soone as it is come forth I am the Plagues prisoner in the Country as yet if the sicknesse cease before the tâ—irde impression I wil come and alter whatsoeuer may be offensiue to any man and bring you the latter ende Your friend Tho. Nash. Pierce Penilesse his Supplication to the Diuell HAuing spent many yeeres in studying how to liue and liu'de a long time without mony hauing tired my youth with follie and surfetted my minde with vanitie I began at length to looke backe to repentaunce addresse my endeuors to prosperitie But all in vaine I sate vp late and rose eraely contended with the colde and conuersed with scarcitie for all my labours turned to losse my vulgar Muse was despised neglected my paines not regarded or slightly rewarded and I my selfe in prime of my best wit laid open to pouertie Wherevpon in a malecontent humor I accused my fortune raild on my patrones bit my pen rent my papers and ragde in all points like a mad man In which agony tormenting my selfe a long time I grew by degrees to a milder discontent and pausing a while euer my standish I resolued in verse to paint forth my passion which best agreeing with the vaine of my vnrest I began to complaine in this sort Why i st damnation to dispaire and die When life is my true happinesse disease My soule my soule thy safetye makes me flie The faultie meanes that might my paine appease Diuines and dying men may talke of hell But in my heart her seueral tormentes dwell Ah worthlesse Wit to traine me to this woe Deceitfull Artes that nourish Discontent Ill thriue the Follie that bewitcht me fo Vaine thoughts adieu for now I will repent And yet my wantes perswade me to proceede Since none takes pitie of a Scollers neede Forgâ—ie 〈◊〉 God although I curse my birth And baâ— the aire wherein I breath a Wretch Since Miserie hath daunted all my mirth And I am quite vndone through promise-breach Oh friends no friends that then vngently frowne When changing Fortune casts vs headlong downe Without redresse complaines my carelesse verse And Mydas-cares relent not at my moane In some far Land will I my griefes reherse Mongst them that will be mou'd when I shall groane England adieu the Soyle that brought me foorth A dieu vnkinde where skill is nothing woorth These Rymes thus abruptly set downe I tost my imaginations a thousand waies to see if I could finde any
that will not by the vnderpropping of confuâ—ation seeme to giue the idle wiâ—ted a duer sarye so much encouragement as hee should surmize his superficiall arguments had shaken the foundation of it against which hee could neuer haâ—e 〈◊〉 his penne if her selfe had not helpt him to hurte hâ—r selfe With the enemies of Poetrie I care not if I haue about and those are they that tear me our best Writers but babling Ballat-makers holding them fantasticall fooles that haue wit but cannot tell how to vse it I my selfe haue beene so censured among some dul-headeâ— * Diuimes who deeme it no more cunning to wryte an exquisite Poem than to preach pure Caluin or distill the iustice of a Commentary in a quarter Sâ—rmon Prooue it when you will you'slowe spirited Saturnists that haue nothing but the pilfrâ—es of your penne to pollish an exhorâ—ation withall no eloquence but Tautologies to 〈◊〉 the 〈◊〉 of your Auditorye vnto you no inuention but heere is to bee noted I stoale this note out of Beza or Marlorat no wit to mooue no passion to vrge but onelyeâ— an ordinarie forme of preaching blowne vp by vse of often heating and speaking and you shall finde there goes more exquisite paines and puritie of witte to the writing of one such 〈◊〉 Poem as Rosamond than to a hundred of your dunsticall * Sâ—rmons Should we as you borrowe all out of others and gather nothing of our selues our names should bee baffuld on euerie Booke-sellers Stall and not a Chandlers Mustard-pot but would wipe his mouthe with our wast paper Newe Herings new 〈◊〉 must crye euery time wee make our selues publique or else we shall bee 〈◊〉 with a hundred newe tytles of Idiotisâ—â—e Nor in Poetrie an Arte where of there is no vse in a mans whole lyfe but to describe discontented thoughts and youtâ— full desires for there is no studie but it dooth illustrate and beautiâ—ie How admirablie shine those Diuines about the common mediocritie that haue tasted the sweete springs of Pernassus Siluer tongu'â— Smith whose well tun'd stile hath made thy death the generall teares of the Muses queintlie couldst thou deuise heauenly Ditties to Apolloes Lute and teach stately verse to trip it as smoothly as if Ouid and thou had but one soule Hence alone did it proceed that thou wert such a plausible pulpit man that before thou entredst into the rough waies of Theologie thou refinedst preparedst and purifidest thy minde with sweete Poetrie If a simple mans censure may be admitted to speake in such an open Theater of opinions I neuer saw aboundant reading better mixt with delight or sentences which no man can challenge of prophane affectation sounding more melodious to the eare or piercing more deepe to the heart To them that demaund what fruites the Poets of our time bring forth or wherein they are able to proue themselues necessary to the state Thus I answere First and for most thâ—y haue cleansed our language from barbarisme and made the vulgar sort here in London which is the fountaine whose riuers flowe round about England to aspire to a richer puritie of speach than is communicated with the Comminaltie of any Nation vnder â—eauen The vertuous by their praises they encourage to be more vertuous to vicious men they are as inâ—ernall hags to haunt their ghosts with eternall infamie after death The Souldier in hope to haue his high deeds celebrated by their pens despiseth a whole Armie of perills and acteth wonders exceeding all humane coniecture Those that care neither for God nor the diuell by their quills are keept in awe Multi famam saith one pauci conscientiam verentur Let God see what he will they would be loath to haue the shame of the world What age will not praise immortal Sir Phillip Sidney whom noble Salustius that thrice siguler french Poet hath famoused together with Sir Nicholas Bacon Lord keeper merry sir Thomas Moore for the chiefe pillers of our english speech Not so much but Chaucers host Baly in Southworke his wife of Bath he keeps such a stirre with in his Canterbury tales shal be talkt of whilst the Bath is vsde or there be euer a badhouse in Southwork Gentles it is not your lay Chronigraphers that write of nothing but of Mayors and Sheriels and the deare yeere and the great Frost that can endowe your names with neuer dated glory for they want the wings of choise words to fly to heauen which we haue they cannot sweeten a discourse or wrest admiration from men reading as we can reporting the meanest accident Poetry is the hunny of all flowers the quintessence of all Sciences the Marrowe â—f Witte and the very Phrase of Angels how much better is it then to haue an eligant Lawier to plead ones cause than a sâ—utting Townsman that loseth himselfe in his tale and doth nothing but make legs so much it is better for a Nobleman or Gentleman to haue his honours story related and his deedes emblazond by a Poet than a Citizen Alas poore latinlesse Authors they are so simple they know not what they doe They no sooner spy a new Ballad and his name to it that compilde it but they put him in for one of the learned men of our time I maruell how the masterlesse men that set vp their bills in Paules for seruices such as paâ—â—e vp their papers on euery post for Arithmetique and writing Schooles scape eternity amongst them I beleeue both they and the Knight Marshals men that naile vp Mandates at the Court gâ—â— for annoying the Pallace with filth or making water if they set their names to the writing will shortly make vp the number of the learned men of our time and be as famoâ—s as the rest For my part I do challenge no praise of learning to my selfe yet haue I worne a gowne in the Uniuersitie and so hath Caret tempus non habet moribus but this I dare presume that if any Mecoenas binde me to him by his bounty or extend some sound liberalitie to mee worth the speaking of I will doo him as much honour as any Poet of my beardlesse yeeres shall in England Not that I am so confident what I can doe but that I attribute so much to my thankfull minde about others which I am perswaded would enable me to worke myracles On the contrary side if I bee euill intreated or sent away with a Flea in mine eare let him looke that I will raile on him soundly not for an houre or a day whiles the iniury is fresh in my memory but in soire elaborate pollished Poem which I will leaue to the world when I am dead to be aliuing Image to all ages of his beggerly parsimony and ignoble illiberaltiâ— and let him not whatsoeuer he be measure the weight of my words by this booke where I write Quic quid in buccam venerit as fast as my hand can trot but I haue tearmes if I be vext laid
in sleepe in Aquafortis Gunpowder that shall rattle through the Skyes and make an Earthquake in a Pesants eares Put case since I am not yet out of the Theame of Wrath that some tired Iade belonging to the Presse whom I neuer wronged in my life hath named me expressely in Print as I will not do him and accuse me of want of learning vpbraiding me for reuiuing in an epistle of mine the reuerent memory of Sir Thomas Moore Sir Iohn Cheeke Doctor Watson Doctor Haddon Doctor Carre Maister Ascham as if they were no meate but for his Maister ships mouth or none but some such as the son of a ropemaker were worthy to mention them To shewe how I can raile thus would I begin to raile on him Thou that hadst thy hood turnd ouer thy eares when thou wert a Batchelor for abusing of Aristotle setting him vpon the Schoole gates painted with Asses eares on his head is it any discredit for me thou great babound thou Pigmie Braggart thou Pamphleter of nothing but * Peants to bee censured by thee that hast scorned the Prince of Philosophers thou that in thy Dialogues soldst Huny for a haâ—peny and the choycest Writers exant for cues a peâ—ce that camest to the Logicke Schooles when thou wert a Freshman and writst phrases off with thy gowne and vntrusse for I meane to lash thee mightily Thou hast a Brother hast thou not student in Almanackes go too I le stand to it fatherd one of thy bastards a booke I meane which being of thy begetting was set forth vnder his name Gentlemen I am sure you haue hearde of a ridiculous Asse that many yeares since sold lyers by the great and wrote an obsurd Astrologicall Discourse of the terrible Coniunction of Saturne and Iupiter wherein as if hee had â—ately cast the Heauens water or beene at the anatomizing of the Skies intrailes â—n Surgeons hall hee prophecâ—eth of such strange wonders to ensue from stars destemperature and the vnuseall aâ—ultrie of Planets as none but he that is Bawd to those celestiall bodies could euer discry What expectation there was of it both in towne 〈◊〉 coâ—ntry â—he amazâ—ment of those times may 〈◊〉 and the rather because he pawned his * â—redit vpon it in these expresse tearmes If these things fall not out in euery point as I haue wrote let me for euer hereafter loose the credit of my Astronimie Well so it happened that he happened not to be a man of his word his Astronimie broke his day with his creditors and Saturne and Iupiter prou'd honester men then all the World tookâ— them for whereupon the poore Prognosticator 〈◊〉 ready to 〈◊〉 himselfe through with his Iacobs Staffe and east himself headlong from the top of a Globe as a mountaine and breake his necke The whole Uniuersitie hyst at him Tarlton at the Theator made iests of him and Elderton consumd his ale-crâ—mmed nose to nothing in bearbayting him with whole bundles of ballets Would you in likely reason gesse it were possible for any shame-swolne â—oad to haue the spet-proofe face to out liue this disgrace It is deate brethren Viuit imo viuit and which is more he is a Uicar Poore Slaue I pitie thee that thou hadst no more grace but to come in my way Why could not you haue sate quiet at home and write Catechismes but you must be comparing me to Martin and exclayme against me for reckoning vp the high Schollers or worthy memory Iupiter ingeniis prabat sua numina vdium saith Ouid. Seque celebrari quâ—libet ore siâ—it Which if it be so I hope I am Aliquis and those men quos honoris causa nominaui are not greate than gods Me thinks I see thee stand quiuering and quaking and euen now lift vp thy hands to heauen as thanking God my choler is somewhat asswag'd but thou art deceiued for how euer I let fast my stile a little to talke in reason with thee that hast none I do not meane to let thee scape so Thou hast wrongedone for my sake whom for the name I must loue T. N. the Maister Butler of Pembrooke Hall a farre better Scholler than thy selfe in my iudgement and one that sheweth more discretion and gouernment in setting vp a sise of Bread than thou in all thy whole booke Why man thinke no scorne of him for he hath held thee vp a hundred times whiles the Deane hath giuen thee correction and thou hast â—apt and kneed him when thou wert hungrie for a â—hipping But that 's nothing for hadst thou neuer beene beholding to him nor holden vp by him he hath a Beard that is a better Gentleman than 〈◊〉 thy whole body and a graue countenance like Cato able to make thee run out of tâ—y wits for feare if he looke sternly vpon thee I haue â—eade ouer thy Sheepiâ—h discourse of the Lambe of GOD and his enemies and entreated my patience to be good to thee whilst I reade but for all that I could doe with my selfe as I am sure I may doe as much as another man I could not refraine but bequeath it to the Priuie leafe by leafe as I read it it was so vgly dorbellicall and lumpish Monstrous monstrous and palpable not to bee spoken of in a Christian Congregation thou hast skumd ouer thâ— Sthoolemen and of the froth of theyr folly made a dish of diuinitie Brewesse which the dogges will not eate If the Printer haue any great dealings with thee hee were best to get a priuiledge betimes Ad imprimendum solum forbidding all other to sell waste paper but himselfe or else he will bee in a wofull taking The Lambe of God make thee a wiser Bâ—ll-weather then thou art or else I doubt thou wilt be driuen to leaue all and fall to thy fathers occuâ—ation which is to goe and make a rope to hang thyselfe Neque enim Lex aequior vlla est quam necis artifices arte periresuâ— and so I leaue thee till a better opportunity to bee tormeâ—ted world without end of our Paets and Writers about London whome thou hast called piperlye Make-playes and Make-hates not doubting but hee also whom thou tearmest the vaine Pap-hatcher will haue a flurt at thee 〈◊〉 day all ioyntly driuing thee to this issue that thou shalt bee constrained to go to the chiefe Beame of thy Beâ—â—â—ce and there beginning a lamentable speech with cur scripsi cur perit end with paraâ—um praua decent iuuat inconcessa voluptas and so wich a trice trusse vp thy lâ—fe in the steing of thy Sancebell So be it pray Pen Incke and paper on their kuees that they way not bee troubled with thee any more Redeo ad vos mâ—i Auditores haue I not a indifferent prittye vayne in Spurgalling an Asse if you knew â—ow extemporall it were at this instant and with what hast it is writ you would say so But I would not haue you thinke that all this that is set downe heere is in good