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ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A13395	The womens sharpe revenge: or an answer to Sir Seldome Sober that writ those railing pamphelets called the Iuniper and Crabtree lectures, &c. Being a sound reply and a full confutation of those bookes: with an apology in this case for the defence of us women. Performed by Mary Tattle-well, and Ioane Hit-him-home, spinsters.	Tattle-well, Mary.; Hit-him-home, Ioane. aut; Taylor, John, 1580-1653. aut	1640 (1640)	STC 23706; ESTC S101732	41,796	236

Cases p. 18 First in the Nomnative Secondly in the Genative and so in all the rest of the Cases p. 20 He is no Poet p. 21 He is found guilty of detraction p. 27 The womens sharpe Revenge OR An Answer to Sir Seldome Sober that writ those scandelous Pamphlets called the Iuniper and Crab-tree Lectures AS from several causes proceed sundry effects so from several actions arise sundry honours with the addition of Names and Titles annexed unto them neither need wee stand to prove that by argument which wee finde by dayly experience As for example some are raised for their wealth others for their worth some by the Law others by their learning Some by Martiall Discipline and by your favour too others for malicious detraction as thinking to rise by others ruines and by supplanting others to support themselves In which number wee must ranke you Master Satyrist the passionate Author of those most pittiful pamphlets called the Juniper Lectures and Crab-tree Lectures who by your meere Knavery ambitious to purchase Knight-hood to adde a sir-reverence to your name are now arrived to the height of your Aime and from plaine Seldome Sober are now come to the Title of Sir Seldome Sober who wee terme so for he is ashamed to set his name to bookes a Name fitting his Nature and well complying with his condition And as there have beene formerly by your meanes Sir Seldome Sober many railing bitter invective Pasquills and Scurrilous Libels some written some printed and all disperst and scattered abroad all of them made and forg'd on purpose to callumniate revile despight jeere and flout women and now lately one or two of the sonnes of Ignorance have pen'd three severall sweet filthy fine ill-favoured Pamphlets which are Printed and out of the most deepe shallownesse of the Authors aboundant want of Wisedome they are called Lectures as the Juniper Lecture the Crab-tree Lecture the Worm-wood Lecture wherein they have laid most false aspersions upon all women generally some they have taxed with incontinency some with uncivility some with scolding some with drinking some with backbiting and slandering their neighbours some with a continual delight in lying some with an extraordinary desire of perpetuall gossipping in a word we are each of us accused and blazed to bee addicted and and frequently delighted with one grievous enormity or other wherein although it be true that we are all the daughters of Eve in frailty yet they might have remembred that they likewise are all the sons of Adam in failing falling offending We are not so partial in the defence of all Womens vertues that we thereby doe hold none to be vicious Some are incontinent by Nature or inheritance from their Mothers some through extreame want and poverty have beene forced to make more bold with that which is their owne then to begge steale or borrow from others Some by the harsh usage of their too unkinde husbands have beene driven to their shifts hardly some having had the hard fortune to match with such Coxecombes as were jealous without a cause have by their suspitious dogged and crabbed dealing towards their wives given too often and too much cause to make their jealousie true And whereas a Womans reputation is so poore that if it be but so much as suspected it will belong before the suspition will be cleared but if it be once blemished or tainted the staines and spots are of such a tincture that the dye of the blemishes will sticke to her all her life time and to her Children after her But for the man hee takes or assumes to himselfe such a loose liberty or liberty of licentious loosenesse that though he be as they call it a Common Towne Bull or a runner at sheepe though hee passe the censures of spirituall courses or high Commissions yet by custome his disgrace will be quickly worne out and say it was but a tricke of youth for the shame or scandall of a whore-master is like a nine dayes wonder or a Record written in sand or like a suit of Tiffany or Cobweb Lawne soone worne out but the faults of a weake Woman are a continuall alarum against her they are ingraven in brasse and like a suit of Buffe it may be turn'd and scour'd and scrapt and made a little cleanly but it lasts the whole life time of the wearer But to come to the worke in hand as you you have a Title bestowed upon you by your backe friends and we thinke deservedly So wee have knowne some who have arrived to that Worshipfull Title through favour also rather than desert and more by voyces than their vertues meerely by the mad sufrage of the many headed monster Multitude which consisteth of Man yet upon better advice and more Mature Consideration when their merits and misdemeanours have been more narrowly sifted and looked into being well compared together they have not onely beene disgrac'd but degraded so that now that worshipfull worke for which you have beene so much magnified by the Masculines being now called into question by a Feminine Jury of women It is thought after a true and just examination thereof to bee meerely villified and that it is nothing but a meere scandalous report and therefore most justly condemned by the unanimous assent of all our Sexe before whom your Bartholmew Faire Booke and most lying Lectures hath not onely beene convented but arraigned lawfully convicted and most justly condemned Now because no equall and indifferent censure shall any way justly except at the Iury that went upon the cause they were these Twelve good women and true which will give you in order The fore-woman who had the first and prime voyce who gave up the Verdict was Sisley set him out Sarah set on his skirts Kate call him to account Tomasin Tickle him Prudence pinch him Franke firk him Besse bind him Christian Commit him Parnel punish him Mall make him yeeld Beterish banish him Hellen Hang him Now if this be not a competent Iury not to bee excepted at and a legall Triall no way to be revoked we appeale unto you men our greatest adversaries and most violent abaters of our injuries And yet further to make the cause more plaine and evident of our sides wee thought it good in our better consideration not onely to publish unto the world the calumnies and slanders asperst upon us But our just Articles objected against him and by comparing them together to distinguish so betwixt them that the truth may grow apparent But first touching the person who put these foule and and calumnious aspersions upon us If hee were a Tailer most sure he was a womans Tailer or if so no good Artist because not being able to take the measure of a womans body much lesse was he powerfull to make a true dimension of her minde and therein you are gone Master Tayler nay what Artist soever you were for in one I include all

The womens sharpe revenge Or an answer to Sir Seldome Sober that writ those railing Pamphelets called the Iuniper and Crab-tree Lectures c. Being a sound Reply and a full confutation of those Bookes with an Apology in this case for the defence of us women Performed by Mary Tattle-well and Ioane Hit-him-home Spinsters Imprinted at London by I. O. and are to be sold by Ia. Becket at his shop in the inner Temple-gate 1640. The Epistle of the Female Frailty to the Mal-Gender in Generall Reader IF thou beest of the Masculine Sexe we meane thee and thee onely and therefore greete thee with these attributes following Affable Loving Kinde and Courteous Affable we call thee because so apt I will not say to prate but to prattle with us Loving in regard that the least grace being from us granted you not onely vow to love us but are loath to leave us Kinde that you will not meete with us without Congies not part from us without Kisses and Courteous because so willing to bring your selves upon your Knees before us more prone to bow unto Beauty than to Baal and to Idolatrize to us rather than unto any other Idoll and therefore our hope is that what you use to protest in private you will not now blush to professe in publicke Otherwise in clearing our Cause and vindicating our owne vertues wee shall not doubt to divulge you for the onely dissemblers And in this case we appeale unto your owne Consciences even to the most crabbed and censorious the most sowre and supercilious which of you all hath not solicited our Sexe petitioned to our persons praised our perfections c. wch of you hath not met us comming followed us flying guarded us going staid for us standing waited on us walking and ambusht us lying use VVomen to Court men or have wee at any time complained of their Coynesse Have we bribed them with our Bounties Troubled them with our Tokens Poetiz'd in their praises prayd and protested su'd and solicited voted and vowed to them or rather they to us would you apprehend a new Antipodes to make al things to be carried by a contrary course and run retrograde Then let the Raddish Roote plucke the Gardner up by the Heeles and the shoulder of Mutton put the Cooke upon the Spit for you as well may prove the one as produce the other Yet suffer you us to be reviled and railed at taunted terrified undervalu'd and even vilified when among you all wee cannot find one Champion to oppose so obstinate a Challenger but that wee are compelled to call a Ghost from her Grave to stand up in the defence of so proud a defiance Since then you will not be Combatants for us in so iust a cause wee intreat you to become competent Iudges to censure indifferently betwixt the Accuser and the Accused to punish his petulancy and not to favour us if wee bee found the sole faulty So if you shall give our defamer his due and that we gaine the Honour of the Day If you be young men we wish you modest Maides in marriage if Batchellours beautifull Mistresses If Husbands handsome wives and good huswifes If widdowers wife and wealthy widowes if young those that may delight you if old such as may comfort you and so we women bequeath unto you all our best wishes From our Mannor of Make-peace Dated the third day of Gander-month in the year of Iubile not of Iuniper Mary Tattle-well Joane Hit him-home Spinsters The Epistle to the Reader Long Megge of Westminster hearing the abuse offered to Women riseth out of her grave and thus speaketh WHy raise you quiet soules out of the grave To trouble their long sleep what peevish Knave Hath wakned my dead ashes and breath'd fire Into colde embers never to respire Till a new resurrection so forc't now Through innocent Womens clamours that I vow Th' earth could not hold mee but I was compeld To look on what 't is long since I beheld The Sun and Day what have wee women done That any one who was a mothers sonne Should thus affront our sex hath he forgot From whence hee came or doth hee seek to blot His owne conception Is hee not asham'd Within the list of Mankinde to bee nam'd Or is there in that Masculine sex another Saving this Monster will disgrace his mother I Margery and for my upright stature Sirnam'd Long Megge of well disposed nature And rather for mine honour then least scorne Titled from Westminster because there borne And so Long Megge of Westminster to heare Our fame so branded could no way forbeare But rather then disgest so great a wrong Must to my ashes give both life and tongue And then poore Poet whatsoere thou beest That in my now discovery thy fault seest Confesse thine errour fall upon thy knees From us to begge thy pardon by degrees Else I that with my sword and buckler durst Front swaggering Ruffians put them to the worst Of whom the begging souldier when he saw My angry brow trembled and stood in awe I that have frighted Fencers from the Stage And was indeed the wonder of mine Age For I have often to abate their prides Cudgeld their coats lamm'd their legs and sides Crosse mee no Tapster durst at any rate Lest I should break his Jugs about his pate 'T is knowne the service that I did at Bulloigne Beating their French armes close unto their woollein They can report that with my blows and knocks I made their bones ake worse then did the Pocks Of which King Henry did take notice then And said amongst my brave and valiant men I know not one more resolute or bolder And would have laid his sword upon my shoulder But that I was a woman And shall I Who durst so proud an Enemy defie So fam'd in field so noted in the Frenches A president to all our Brittish Wenches Feare to affront him or his soule to vexe Who dares in any termes thus taunt our sex Therefore relent thine errour I advise thee Else in what shape soere thou shalt disguise thee I shall inquire thee out nay if thou should Take on thee all those figures Proteus could It were in vaine nay which the more may daunt thee Even to the grave I vow my ghost shall haunt thee Therefore what 's yet amisse strive to amend Thou knowest thy doom if farther thou offend The Table and Heads of this Booke THe Introduction p. 1 The Title which we women doe bestow upon our godson the Author of those Lectures p. 3 The Names of those Bookes which we women do answer and obiect against p. 4 First opinion of the ●ury of women at their first meeting p. 11 The Names of those Women which are chosen for the Jury p. 12 Their opinion of what trade the Author is or was p. 14 First they finde him no Schollar and they prove him to be none p. 16 Wherein his failing is p. 17 He is quite out in all the