euermore maist thou be canonized as the Nun parreille of impious epistlers the short shredder out of sandy sentences without lime as Quintillian tearmed Seneca all lime and no sande all matter and no circumstance the factor for the Fairies and night Vrchins in supplanting and setting aside the true children of the English and suborning inkehorne changlings in their steade the galimafrier of all stiles in one standish as imitating euerie one hauing no seperate forme of writing of thy owne and to conclude the onely feather-driuer of phrases and putter of a good word to it when thou hast once got it that is betwixt this and the Alpes So bee it worlde without ende Chroniclers heare my praiers Good Maister Stowe be not vnmindfull of him That 's well remembred now I talke of Chroniclers I founde the Astrologicall discourse the other night in the Chronicle Gabriell will outface vs it is a worke of such deepe arte iudgement when it is expressely past vnder record for a coosening prognostication The wordes are these though somewhat abreuiated for he makes a long circumlocution of it In the yeare 1583. by meanes of an Astrologicall discourse vppon the great and notable coniunction of Saturne and Iupiter the common sort of people were almost driu'n out of their wits and knew not what to doe but when no such thing hapned they fell to their former securitie and condemned the discourser of extreame madnesse and follie Ipsissima sunt Aristotelis verba they are the verie words of Iohn Tell-troth in the 1357. folio of the last edition of the great Chronicle of England Mehercule quidem if it be so taken vp Pierce Pennilesse may well cast his cappe after it for euer ouertaking it But some thing euen now Gabriell thou wert girding against my praefaces and rimes and the timpanie of my Tarltonizing wit VVell these be your words praefaces and rimes let mee studie a little praefaces and rimes Minimè verò si ais nego I neuer printed rime in my life but those verses in the beginning of Pierce Pennilesse though you haue set foorth The stories quaint of manie a doutie flie That read a lecture to the ventrous elfe And so forth as followeth in chambling rowe Praefaces two or a paire of Epistles I will receyue into the protection of my parentage out of both which sucke out one solaecisme or mishapen English word if thou canst for thy guts VVherein haue I borrowed from Greene or Tarlton that I should thanke them for all I haue Is my stile like Greenes or my ieasts like Tarltons Do I talke of any counterfeit birds or hearbs or stones or rake vp any new-found poetry from vnder the wals of Troy If I do trip mee with it but I doe not therefore I le be so saucy as trip you with the grandlie Ware stumbling of whetstones in the darke there my maisters This I will proudly boast yet am I nothing a kindred to the three brothers that the vaine which I haue be it a median vaine or a madde man is of my owne begetting and cals no man father in England but my selfe neyther Euphues nor Tarlion nor Greene. Not Tarlton nor Greene but haue beene contented to let my simple iudgement ouerrule them in some matters of wit Euphues I readd when I was a little ape in Cambridge and then I thought it was Ipse ille it may be excellent good still for ought I know for I lookt not on it this ten yeare but to imitate it I abhorre otherwise than it imitates Plutarch Ouid and the choisest Latine Authors If you be aduisde I tooke shortest vowels and longest mutes in the beginning of my booke as suspitious of being accessarie to the making of a Sonnet wherto Maister Christopher Birds name is set there I saide that you mute forth many such phrases in the course of your booke which I would point at as I past by Heere I am as good as my word for I note that thou beeing afraide of beraying thy selfe with writing wouldest faine bee a mute when it is too late to repent Againe thou reuiest on vs and saist that mutes are coursed and vowels haunted Thou art no mute yet shalt thou be haunted and coursed to the full I will neuer leaue thee as long as I am able to lift a pen. Whether I seeke to bee counted a terrible bulbegger or no I le baite thee worse than a bull so that the thou shalt desire some body on thy knees to helpe thee with letters of commendation to Bull the hangman that he may dispatch thee out of the way before more affliction come vpon thee All the inuectiue and satericall spirits shall then bee thy familiars as the furies in hell are the familiars of sinfull ghosts to follow them and torment them without intermission thou shalt bee double girt with girds and scoft at till those that stand by do nothing but cough with laughing Thou saiest I professe the art of railing thou shalt not say so in vaine for if there bee any art or depth in it more than Aretine or Agrippa haue discouered or diu'd into looke that I will found it and search it to the vttermost but ere I haue done with thee I le leaue thee the miserablest creature that the sunne euer sawe There is no kind of peaceable pleasure in poetrie but I can drawe equally in the same yoke with the haughtiest of those foule-mouthd backbiters that say I can do nothing but raile I haue written in all sorts of humors priuately I am perswaded more than any yoong man of my age in England The weather is cold and I am wearie with confuting the remainder of the colde contents of this Epistle be these He enuiously indeuors since he cannot reuenge himselfe to incense men of high calling against me and wold inforce it into their opinions that whatsoeuer is spokē in Pierce Pennilesse concerning Pesants Clownes hipocriticall hot-spurs Midasses Buckram Giants the mightie Prince of darkenesse is meant of them let him proue it or bring the man to my face to whome I euer made any vnduetifull exposition of it I am to be my own interpreter in this first case I say in Pierce Pennilesse I haue set downe nothing but that which I haue had my president for in forraine writers nor had I the least allusion to any man set aboue mee in in degree but onely glanc'st at vice generallie The tale of the Beare and the Foxe how euer it may set fooles heads a worke a farre off yet I had no concealed ende in it but in the one to describe the right nature of a bloudthirsty tyrant whose indefinite appetite all the pleasures in the earth haue no powre to bound in goodnes but he must seeke a new felicitie in varietie of cruelty and destroying all other mens prosperitie for the other to figure an hypocrite Let it be Martin if you will or some old dog that bites sorer than hee who secretlie goes and
neuer knighted they wrote in Hexameter verses Ergo Chaucer and Spencer the Homer and Virgil of England were farre ouerseene that they wrote not all their Poems in Hexamiter verses also In many Countries veluet and Satten is a commoner weare than cloth amongst vs Ergo wee must leaue wearing of cloth and goe euerie one in veluet and satten because other Countries vse so The Text will not beare it good Gilgilis Hebberdehoy Our english tongue is nothing too good but too bad to imitate the Greeke and Latine Master Stannyhurst though otherwise learned trod a foule lumbring boystrous wallowing measures in his translation of Virgil He had neuer been praisd by Gabriel for his labour if therein hee had not bin so famously absurd Greene for dispraising his practise in that kinde Is the Greene Maister of the blacke Art the Founder of vglie oathes the father of misbegotten Infortunatus the Scriuener of Crossebiters the Patriark of Shifters c. The Monarch of Crossebiters the wretched fellowe Prince of Beggars Emperour of Shifters hee had cald him before but like a drunke man that remembers not in the morning what he speakes ouernight still he fetcheth Metaphors from Conny-catchers doth nothing but torment vs with tautologies Why thou arrant butter whore thou cotqueane scrattop of scoldes wilt thou neuer leaue afflicting a dead Carcasse continually read the rethorick lecture of Ramme-Allie a wispe a wispe a wispe rippe rippe you kitchin stuffe wrangler VVert thou put in the Fleete for pamphleting Bedlem were a meeter place for thee Be not ashamd of your promotion they did you honor that said you were Fleete-bound for men of honor haue sailde in that Fleete VVast paper made thee betake thy selfe to Limbo Patrum had it beene a booke that had beene vendible yet the opproby had beene the lesse but for Chandlers merchandize to be so massacred for sheets that serue for nothing but to wrappe the excrements of huswiuerie in Proh Deum what a spite is it I haue seene your name cutte with a knife in a wall of the Fleete I when I went to visit a friend of mine there Let Maister Butler of Cambridge his testimoniall end this controuersie who at that time that thy ioyes were in the Fleeting and thou crying for the Lords sake out at an iron windowe in a lane not farre from Ludgate hill questiond some of his companions verie inquisitiuelie that were newlie come from London what nouelties they brought home with them amongst the rest he broke into this Hexamiter interrogatory very abruptlie But ah what newes doe you heare of that good Gabriel huffe snuffe Knowne to the world for a foole and clapt in the Fleete for a Rimer I st true Gibraltar haue I found you It was not without foundatiō that you burst into that magnifical insultation I THAT IN MY YOVTH FLATTERD NOT MY SELFE c. for M. Butler for a Phisition being none of the least Schollers hath commended you exceedingly for a foole a Rimer He that threatned to coniure vp Martins wit hath written some thing too in your praise in Pap-hatchet for all you accuse him to haue courtlie incenst the Earle of Oxford against you Marke him well hee is but a little fellow but hee hath one of the best wits in England Should he take thee in hand againe as he flieth from such inferiour concertation I prophecie that there woulde more gentle Readers die of a merrie mortality ingendred by the eternal iests he would maule theee with than there haue done of this last infection I my self that inioy but a mite of wit in comparison of his talēt in pure affection to my natiue country make my stile carry a presse saile am fain to cut off half the streame of thy sport-breeding confusion for feare it shoulde cause a generall hicket throughout England Greene I can spare thy reuenge no more roome in this book thou hast Phisitiō Iohn with thee cope thou with him let me alone with the Ciuilian Deuine whom if I liue I will so vncessantly haunt that to auoid the hot chase of my fierie quill they shal be constraind to ensconse themselues in an olde Vrinall case that their brother left behind him Yet ere I bid thee good night receiue some notes as touching his phisicallity deceased He had his grace to be Doctor ere he died As time may worke all things In Norfolke where hee practised he was reputed a proper toward man at a medecine for the toothake one of the skilfullest Phisitions in casting the heauens water that euer came there How well beloued of the chiefest Gentlemen Gentlewomen especially in that shire it is incredible to bee spoken Astra petit disertus hee is gone to heauen to write more Astrologicall discourses his brothers liue to inherite his olde gownes and remember his notable sayings amongst the which this was one Vale Galene farewell mine owne deare Gabriell Valete humanae artes heart and good will but neuer a ragge of money Tunc tuares agitur paries cum proximus ardet Cloth-breeches house is burnt and the flame goes a feasting to Pierce Pennilesse house next Neuer til now Gregory Habberdine went thy foure letters vp Newgate vp Holburne vp Tiburne to hanging Gentlemen by that which hath been already laid open I doe not doubt but you are vnwaueringly resolued this indigested Chaos of Doctourship and greedy pothunter after applause is an apparant Publican and sinner a selfe-loue surfetted sot a broken-winded galdbacke Iade that hath borne vp his head in his time but now is quite foundred tired a scholer in nothing but the scum of schollership a stale soker at Tullies Offices the droane of droanes and maister drumble-bee of non proficients VVhat hath he wrote but hath had a wofull end VVhen did he dispute but hee duld all his auditorie his Poetry more spiritlesse than smal beere his Oratory Arts bastard not able to make a man rauishingly weepe that hath an Onion at his eye In Latin like a louse he hath manie legges many lockes fleec'd from Tullie to carry away and cloath a little body of matter but yet hee moues but slowly is apparaild verie poorely In English ice is not so cold yet on the ice of ignorance will he slide No wise man pittie him that perisheth so wilfully Iudge the world iudge the highest Courts of appeale from the miscarried worlds iudgement Cambridge and Oxford wherein I haue trespassed in Pierce Pennilesse that hee shoulde talke of gnashing of teeth yong Phaetons yong Icari yong Chorebi young Babingtons Neuer was I in earnest til thus he twitted me with the comparison of a traitour Babington high was thy birth I a bondslaue of fortune in comparison of thee thy fall greater than Phaetons thy offence as heynous as Iudasses May neuer more such foule seeds of offence be sowne in so faire a shape may they be markt alwayes to mischiefe that meane as thou didst The braunches of thy stocke remaines yet vnblasted with
thou peremptorily define that it is a place where no honest man or Gentleman of credit euer came Heare what I say a Gentleman is neuer throughly entred into credit till he hath beene there that Poet or nouice be hee what he will ought to suspect his wit and remaine halfe in a doubt that it is not authenticall till it hath beene seene and allowd in vnthrifts consistory Grande doloris ingenium Let fooles dwell in no stronger houses than their Fathers built them but I protest I should neuer haue writ passion well or beene a peece of a Poet if I had not arriu'd in those quarters Trace the gallantest youthes and brauest reuellers about Towne in all the by-paths of their expence you shall vnfallibly finde that once in their life time they haue visited that melancholy habitation Come come if you will goe to the sound truth of it there is no place of the earth like it to make a man wise Cambridge and Oxford may stande vnder the elbowe of it I vow if I had a sonne I would sooner send him to one of the Counters to learne lawe than to the Innes of Court or Chauncery My hostesse Penia that 's a bugges word I pry thee what Morrall hast thou vnder it I will depose if thou wilt that till now I neuer heard of anie such English name There is a certaine thing cald christian veritie another hight common sense and a third cleapt humilitie they are more requisite and necessary for thee than modestie or discretion for mee and my companions of which would thou shouldst vnderstand we are so well prouided that we can lend thee and thy brother Richard a great deale and yet keepe more than wee shall haue need of for our selues VVilt thou be so hardy and iron-visaged to gainsay that thy brother Vicars Batchlours hood was not turnd ouer his eares for abusing of Aristotle I know thou hast more grace than so thou dost not contradict it flatly but slubbers it ouer faintly and comes to recapitulate not confute some of the phrases I vsde in the vnhandsoming of his diuinitiship I my selfe in the same order of disgracing thou singles them foorth will haue them vp againe and see if thou or anie man can absurdifie the worst of them I say and will make it good that in the Astrologicall discourse thy brother as if hee had lately cast the heau'ns water or beene at the anatomizing of the skies intrailes in Surgeons hall prophesieth of such strange wonders to ensue from the starres distemperature and the vnusuall adulterie of plannets as none but hee that is bawd to those celestiall bodies could euer descry This too I will ratifie for truthable legible English that his Astronomy broke his day with his creditors and Saturne Iupiter prou'd honester men than all the world tooke them for That the whole Uniuersitie hist at him Tarlton at the Theater made ieastes of him and Elderton consumed his ale crammed nose to nothing in beare-baiting him with whole bundels of Ballads All this he barely repeates without any disprouement or denudation at all as if it were so lame in it selfe that it would adnihilate it selfe with the onelie rehearsall of it For the gentilitie of the Nashes though it might seeme a humor borrowed from thee to bragge of it yet some of vs who neuer sought into it til of late can proue the extancy of our auncestors before there was euer a ropemaker in England Wee can vaunt larger petigrees than patrimonies yet of such extrinsecall things common to tenne thousand calues and oxen would not I willingly vaunt only it hath pleased M. Printer both in this booke and Pierce Pennilesse to intaile a vaine title to my name which I care not for without my consent or priuitie I here auouch But on the gentilitie of T.N. his beard the maister Butler of Pembroke hall stil I will stand to the death for it is the very prince Elector of peaks a beard that I cannot bee perswaded but was the Emperour Dionisius his surnamed the Tyrant when hee playde the schoolemaister in Corinth Gabriell thou hast a prety polwigge sparrows tayle peake yet maist thou not compare with his thy Father for all by thy owne confession hee makes haires had neuer the art to twilt vp such a grim triangle of haire as that Be not offended honest T. N. that I am thus bold with thee for I affect thee for the names sake as much as any one man can do another and know thee to be a fine fellow and fit to discharge a farre higher calling than that wherein thou liu'st VVhat more stuffe lurketh behind in this letter to be distributed into shop-dust Pierce Pennilesse is as childish and garish a booke as euer came in print when he talks of the sheepish discourse of the Lambe of God and his enemies he saies it is monstrous and absurd and not to bee sufferd in a Christian congregatiō that Richard hath scumd ouer the schoolmen and of the froth of their folly made a dish of Diuinitie brewesse which the Dogs would not eate If he saide so as hee did and can proue it as hee hath done by Saint Lubecke then The Lambe of God is as childish and garish stuffe as euer came in print indeede I but how doth Pierce Pennilesse expiate the coinquination of these obiections Richard whom because he is his brother he therefore censures more curious and rigorous in calling him M. H. than hee would haue done otherwise red the Philosophie Lecture in Cambridge with good liking and singular commendation when Apersea was not so much as Idoneus auditor ciuilis scientiae Ergo the Lambe of God beares a better Fleece than hee giues out it doth A perse a is improoued nothing since excepting his old Flores Poetarum and Tarletons surmounting rethorique with a little euphuisme and Greenesse inough Gabriel reports him to the fauourablest opinion of those that know A perse a his Prefaces rimes and the very companie of his Tarltonizing wit his Supplication to the Diuel Quiet your selues a litle my Maisters and you shal see mee dispearse all those cloudes well inough That Richard red the Philosophie Lecture at Cambridge I doe not withstand but how Verie Lentenlie and scantlie farre bee it wee shuld slander him so much as his brother Richard hath done to saie he read it with good liking and singularitie Credite mee any that hath but a little refuse Colloquium Latine to interseame a Lecture with and can saie but Quapropter vos mei auditores may reade with equiualent commendation and liking I remember him woondrous well In the chiefe pompe of that his false praise I both heard him and heard what was the vniuersall slender valuation of him There was eloquent Maister Knox a man whose losse all good learning can neuer sufficiently deplore t was he and one Maister Iones of Trinitie Colledge that in my time with more speciall approbation conuerst in those Readings Since I haue
seduceth country Swaines Makes them beleeue that that honny which their bees brought forth was poysonous and corrupt That they may buy honny cheaper than by being at such charges in keeping of bees That it is not necessary they should haue such stately hiues or lie sucking at such precious honnicombs If this which is nothing else but to swim with the streame be to tell tales as shrewdly as mother Hubbard it shoulde seeme mother Hubbard is no great shrewe howeuer thou treading on her heeles so oft shee may bee tempted beyonde her ten commandements A litle before this the foresaid fanaticall Phobetor geremumble tirleriwhisco or what you will cald forth the biggest gunshot of my thundring tearmes steept in Aqua fortis and gunpowder to come and trie them selues on his paper Target But that it is no credite Galpogas to discharge a Cannon gainst a lowse thou shouldst not call in vaine thou shouldst heare Tom a Lincolne roare with a witnes woe worth the daie the yeare when thou hearest him I feare blast thee nowe but with the winde of my weapon With the wast of my words I lay wast all the feeble fortifications of thy wit Shewe mee the Vniuersities hand and seale that thou art a Doctour sealed and deliuered in the presence of a whole Commensement and I le present thee with my whole artillerie store of eloquence A bots on thee for mee for a lumpish leaden heeld letter dawber my stile with treading in thy clammie steps is growne as heauie gated as if it were bound to an Aldermans pace with the irons at Newgate cald the widows Almes Ere I was chained to thee thus by the necke I was as light as the Poet Accius who was so lowe and so slender that hee was faine to put lead into his shooes for feare the winde shoulde blowe him into another Countrie Those that catch Leopards set cups of wine before them those that will winne liking and grace of the readers must set before them continually that which shall cheare them and reuiue them Gabriell thou hast not done so thou canst not doe so therfore rhy works neither haue nor can any way hinder mee nor benefit the Printer Euen in the packing vp of my booke a hot ague hath mee by the backe Maugre sicknesse worst a leane arme put out of the bed shall grind and pash euery crum of thy booke into pin-dust The next peece of seruice thou dost against Pierce Pennilesse is the naming of him wofull poueretto and pleasant supposing thou puldst him by the ragged sleeue Then matchest thou thy selfe to Vlisses and him to Irus Irrita sunt hac omnia it is a sleeuelesse ieast I haue beiliu'd thee already for it it toucheth the body and not the minde Besides I was neuer altogether Peter Poueretto vtterly throwne downe desperately seperated from all means of releeuing my selfe since I knew how to seperate a knaue from an honest man or throw my cloake ouer my nose when I salied by the Counters The ragged cognizance on the sleeue I may say to thee carried meate in the mouth when time was doe not dispraise it yet for it hath many high partakers Quae sequuntur huiusmodi sunt Thou turmoilst thy pia mater to proue base births better than the ofspring of many discents because thou art a mushrumpe sprung vp in one night a seely mouse begotten on a moulehill that wouldst fayne pearch thy selfe on the mountaines when thy legges are too short to ouercome such a long iourney of glorie My margent note Meritis expendite causam thou wouldst rather than any thing wrest to an enditment of arrogance so branch mee into thy tiptoe stocke I cannot see how thou canst compasse it For though I bad them weigh the cause by deserts yet I did not assume too much to my owne deserts when I expostulated why Coblers Hostlers and Carmen should be worth so much and so much and I a scholler and a good-fellow a begger How thou hast arrogated to thy selfe more than Lucifer or any Miles gloriosus in the worlde would doe I haue already noted at large in his due place and order If thou bestowst any curtesie on mee and I do not requite it then call mee cut and say I was brought vp at Hoggenorton where pigges play on the Organs Wert thou well acquainted with me thou shouldst perceiue that I am very franke where I take send away none empty-handed that giue mee but halfe an ill worde It is a good signe of grace in thee that thou confessest thou hast offences enough of thy owne to aunswere though thou beest not chargd with thy Fathers Once in thy life thou speakst true yet I beleeue thee and pittie thee God make thee a good man for thou hast beene a wilde youth hitherto Thy Hexameter verses or thy hue and crie after a person as cleare as Christall I do not so deeply commend for al Maister Spencer long since imbrast it with an ouer-louing sonnet VVhy should friends dissemble one with another they are very vgly and artlesse You will neuer leaue your olde trickes of drawing M. Spencer into euerie pybald thing you do If euer he praisd thee it was because he had pickt a fine vaine foole out of thee and he would keepe thee still a foote by flattring thee til such time as he had brought thee into that extreame loue with thy selfe that thou shouldst run mad with the conceit and so be scorned of all men Yet yet Gabriell are not we set non plus thy roister doisterdome hath not dasht vs out of countenance If anie man vse boistrous horse play or bee beholding to Carters Logique it is thyselfe for with none but clownish and roynish ieasts dost thou rush vppon vs and keepst such a flurting and a flinging in euerie leafe as if thou wert the onely reasty iade in a country Skolding thou saiest is the language of shrewes railing the stile of rakehels what concludst thou from thence Do I scold do I raile Scolding railing is loud miscalling and reuiling one another without wit speaking euery thing a man knows by his neighbour though it bee neuer so contrary to all humanitie and good manners and would make the standers by almost perbrake to heare it Such is thy inuectiue against Greene where thou talkst of his low sines his surfeting his beggerie and the mother of Infortunatus infirmities If I scold if I raile I do but cum ratione insanire Tully Ouid all the olde Poets Agrippa Aretine and the rest are all scolds and railers and by thy conclusion flat shrewes and rakehels for I doe no more than their examples do warrant mee The intoxicate spirit of grisly Euridice I can tosse ouer as lightly to thee as thou hast puft it to mee My hart is praeoccupated with better spirits which haue left her no house-roome thou hast no spirite as it should appeare by thy writing intertaine her and the spirit of the buttery out of hand or
fauour of the great Ne fearest foolish reprehension But freelie dost of what thee list intreate Like a great Lord of peerelesse libertie Lifting the good vp to high honors seate And th' euill damning euermore to die For life and death is in thy doomefull writing Whereas thou saist the Asse in a manner is the only Author I alleadge I must know how you define an Asse before I can tell how to answere you for Cornelius Agrippa maketh all the Philosophers Oratours and Poets that euer were Asses and if so you vnderstand that I alleadge no Author but the Asse for all Authors are Asses why I am for you if otherwise thou art worse than a Cumanâ— Asse to leape before thou lookst and condemne a man without cause What Authors dost thou alleadge in thy booke not two but any Grammer Scholler might haue alleadgd There is not three kernels of more than common learning in all thy Foure Letters Common learning not common sense in some places Of force I must graunt that Greene came oftner in print than men of iudgement allowed off but neuerthelesse he was a daintie slaue to content the taile of a Tearme and stuffe Seruing mens pockets An Asse Gabriel it is harde thou shouldst name him for calling mee Calfe it breakes no square but if I bee a calfe it is in comparison of such an Oxe as thy selfe The chiefetaines of licentiousnes and truth can say the abhominable villanies of such base shifting companions good for nothing c. I am of the mind wee shall not disgest this neither Answere me succinctè expeditè what one period any way leaning to licentiousnes canst thou produce in Pierce Pennilesse I talke of a great matter when I tell thee of a period for I know two seuerall periods or full pointes in this last epistle at least fortie lines long a piece For the order of my life it is as ciuil as a ciuil orenge I lurke in no corners but conuerse in a house of credit as well gouerned as any Colledge where there bee more rare quallified men and selected good Schollers â—han in any Noblemans house that I knowe in Engltand If I had committed such abhominable villanies or were a base shifting companion it stoode not with my Lords honour to keepe me but if thou hast saide it canst not proue it what slandrous dishonor hast thou done him to giue it out that he keepes the committers of abhominable villanies and base snifting companions when they are farre honester than thy selfe If I were by thee I woulde plucke thee by the beard and spit in thy face but I would dare thee and vrge thee beyonde all excuse to disclose and prooue for thy heart bloud what villanie or base shifting by mee thou canst I defie all the worlde in that respect Because thou vsedst at Cambridge to shift for thy Friday at night suppers and cosen poore victuallers and pie-wiues of Doctours cheese and puddinges thou thinkst me one of the same religion too What Greene was let some other answere for him as much as I haue done I had no tuition ouer him he might haue writ another Galataeo of manners for his manners euerie time I came in his companie I saw no such base shifting or abhominable villanie by him Something there was which I have heard not seene that hee had not that regarde to his credite in which had beene requisite he should VVhat a Calimunco am I to plead for him as though I were as neere him as his owne skinne A thousande there bee that haue more reason to speake in his behalfe than I who since I first knew him about town haue beene two yeares together and not seene him But I le doe as much for any man especially for a deade man that cannot speake for himselfe Let vs heare how we are good for nothing but to cast awaie our selues spoile our adherents praie on our fauourers dishonour our Patrons Haue I euer tooke any likelie course of casting away my selfe VVhom canst thou name that kept me company and reapt any discommoditie by mee I can name diuers good Gentlemen that haue beene my adherents and fauourers a long time Let them report howe I haue spoilde them or praid on them or put them to one pennie detriment since I first consorted with theÌ„ Haue an eie to the maine-chaunce for no sooner shall they vnderstand what thou hast said by mee of them but they le goe neere to haue thee about the eares for this geare one after another My Patrons or anie that bind me to them by the least good turne there is no man in England that is or shall for my small power bee more thankefull vnto than I. Neuer was I vnthankefull vnto any no not to those of whome for deedes I receiued nothing but vnperformed deede promising words It is an honor to be accusde and not conuinst One of these months I shall challenge martirdome to my selfe and writ large stories of the persecution of tongues Troth I am as like to persecute as be persecuted Let him take vp his Crosse and blesse himselfe that crosseth mee for I will crosse shinnes with him though euerie sentence of his were a thousande tunnes of discourses as Gabriel saith euerie sentence of his is a discourse Quods quods giue mee my Text pen againe for I haue a little more Text to launce The secretaries of art and nature if it were not for friuolous contentions might bestead the commoÌ„-welth with manie puissant engins As for example Bacons brazen nose Architas wodden doue dancing bals fire breathing gourdes artificiall flies to hang in the aire by themselues an egshell that shall run vp to the toppe of a speare Archimides made a heau'n of brasse but we haue nothing to do with olde brasse and iron Appollonius Regimontanus did manie pretie iugling tricks but wee had rather drinke out of a glasse than a Iugge vse a little brittle wit of our owne than borrow any miracle mettall of Deuils Amongst all other stratagems and puissant engins what say you to Mates Pumpe in Cheapeside to pumpe ouer mutton and porridge into Fraunce this colde weather our souldiors I can tell you haue need of it and poore field mise they haue almost got the colicke and stone with eating of prouant Consider of it well for it is better than all Bacons Architas Archimedes Appollonius or Regiomontanus deuices for Gabriell that professeth all these with all their helpe cannot make the bias bowle at Saffron Walden run downe the hill when it is throwne down with the hardest hand that may bee but it will turne vp the hill againe in spite of a mans teeth and that which is worst giue no reason for it The Parrat and the Peacock haue leisure to reuiue repolish their expired workes you speake like a friend we le listen to you when you haue repolished and expired your perfected degree A Demy Doctor what a shame is it Because your books do call for a litle more