THE TRANSPROSER REHEARS'D OR THE Fifth ACT OF Mr. BAYES's PLAY Being a POSTSCRIPT to the ANIMADVERSIONS on the PREFACE to Bishop Bramhall's Vindication c. SHEWING What Grounds there are of Fears and Iealousies of Popery OXFORD Printed for the Assignes of Hugo Grotius and Iacob Van Harmine on the North-side of the Lake Lemane 1673. A POSTSCRIPT TO THE ANIMADVERSIONS UPON THE PREFACE TO Bishop Bramhalls Vindication THE Author of the Animad-versions upon the Preface to Bishop Bramhalls Vindication c. if it be not too great a favour to call him an Author that writes a Book upon a Preface having posted up a Play-Bill for the Title of his Book And here by the way we cannot but congratulate his honourable employ and question not but to hear of his being prefer'd from writing of Bills for the Play-houses to penning of Advertisements for the Stage-Coaches and Bills for the Pox and after a proficiency therein to be admitted upon the next vacancy to form Draughts for the Arithmetick and Short-hand-men and frame Tickets for the Rope-dancers and the Royall-Sport of Cock-fighting that so he may arrive in a short time to be Author of most of those ingenious Labours which curious Readers admire at Passing times in their passage between White-hall and Temple-bar I say this great Author of Play-bills having in conformity to his promising Title Transposed the Rehearsal or at least all of Mr. Bayes his Play extant four Acts. I thought it was great pitty so facetious and Comical a work should remain incompleat and therefore I have continued it on and added the Fifth the Argument of which and its dependance on the other Four I shall give you an account of after a preliminary examination of the Characters and Plot in our Authors Transpos'd Rehearsal But before I proceed to either of these it will not be unnecessary to consider on what bottom he has erected his Animad-versions and this I find to be no other then the Preface to Bishop Bramhalls Vindication which is as much as to say here is a House wrought out of a Portal 'T is pretty I confess and exceeds the power of common Architects But what follows is more strange that 100. pages the Preface is no more by his computation should be foundation sufficient enough to support his mighty Paper-building of 326. Now 't is very probable that which gave the principal hint to our Authors Rehearsal Transpros'd was the near accord he observes betwixt the Preface and Mr. Bayes his Prologue P. 14. and here I cannot but applaud his admirable dexterity that could extract four Acts of a Farce from a single Prologue but such is the singular felicity of some Animadverters and of ours amongst the rest in their illustrating of Authors that they have heighten'd and refin'd some of their Notions not only above all others but above even the intentions of the dull Authors themselves A rare Art and followed so well by some of our Translators of French Farce that some of them have been luckily mistaken for Authors For instance the Writer of the Preface had said He could not tell which way his Mind would work it self and its thoughts now this our Improver of Verity according to his peculiar excellence P. 12. resolves into Prince Volscius his Debate betwixt Love and Honour and tells you more of the Authors mind in Verse than he could do himself in Prose And this feat is perform'd by no other Magick then Regula Duplex turning Prose into Verse and Verse into Prose alternativà See what Mâ—racles men of Art can do by Transversing Prefaces and Transprosing Playes But to go on with our Prologue so the A imadverter will warrant me now to â—â—ll the Preface our Critick hath found a 〈◊〉 in it and what 's that It has no Plot. 〈◊〉 â— Pâ—â—logue without a Plot It is impossible tiâ— a cross-graind objection this 〈◊〉 not easily evaded had not our Criâ—â—laid Mock-Apologist and answered 〈◊〉 P. 11. the Intrigue was out of his head which is very civil I gad Another weighty exception against oâ—r Pâ—ologue is that it is written in a Stile part Play-Book and part Romance p. 22. Which of these two is Gazett for that the Animadverter says is our Authors Magazine this is more unpardonable than the former for what can be a higher Indecoâ—um than a Prologue written in Play-Book stile But that we may the better understand the pertinencâ— of this Remarque we must desire the Reader to observe That the Writer of the Preface had said That the Church of Ireland was the largest â—cene of the Bishops Actions Now it will go very hard but this Passage will be condemn'd for one guilty word or two for Histories are Playes without Scenes and without Action and these two words being neither of the Historians Profession nor Divines the Bishops Historian must of necessity be cast unlesse he have any hopes of benefit of Clergy however we hope before Sentence be past the Animadverter will inform us what words are of the Clergy and what of the Layity which in Holy Orders and which not and then their several Divisions which Catholick and which Schismatical and amongst them which Classical Congregational and of inferiour Sects whethà r for Church of Ireland he would read Congregation for Scene Diocess or Pulpit and for Actions Spiritual Exercises or Labours But if at last the Animadverter intend by Play-Book-Stile whatever is written above the common elevation unlesse he would have the Priest and the Poet write in two distinct Languages I see no reason to allow him that the Priest should make use of a less refin'd and polisht Stile than the Poet. If after all this any one should be so impenitently inquisitive as to demand a reason why our Prologue Critick would have a Prologue with a Plot and not written in Play-Book-Stile he will answer him no doubt because 't is New From the Prologue pass we to the Rehearsal Transpros'd in which the Characters the Action and the Humour offer themselves to our consideration The principal person concerned in this Farce is Mr. Bays whom our Transproser makes to be of the same Character with the Writer of the Preface for which he alledges these following reasons pag. 15 16. First Because he hath no name or at least will not own it Good Secondly Because he is I perceive a lover of elegancy of Stile and can endure no mans Tautologies but his own Good again and therefore I would not distaste him with too frequent repetition of one word Very good I-faith But chiefly because Mr. Bays and He do very much symbolize in their understandings in their expressions in their humours in their contempt and quarrelling of all others and all that though of their own Profession Then less chiefly Because our Divine the Author manages his contest with the same prudence and civility which the Players and Poets have practised of late in their several Divisions there 's a bob for the Play-House And lastly
whole party if you could then perswade every particular person of them that you gave him no provocation I confess this were an excellent and a new way of your inventing to conquer single whole Armies To see the superfetatious Miracles of Art here in the Accumulative Vertues of a single Hero He ranges his multiply'd self Horse and Foot in battell array he places all his Cannon with fewer hands than Briareus by 98. and in the same breath sounds a Charge with as many Trumpets as mouths and gives the Signal to himself to fall on this you may boldly challenge for your non ultra it is as high as you can go So now come in Thunder and Lightning that is the Bishops Historian in those two shapes and this way of making one Person represent a Dialogue between two is very artificial indeed yet this is perform'd with a little alteration of the voyce for besides the diversity of dress and posture that of the Tone and Accent is no less considerable in an Actors Representation of many Persons at one and the same time 't is but ratling in a big and hoarse voyce I am the bold Thunder then squeaking in a shrill and tender the brisk Lightning I and the business is done this now if you mark it is extraordinary fine and very applicable to the Bishops Historian for he saith Some that pretend a great interest in the holy Brotherhood descry Popery in every common and usual chance a Chimney cannot take fire in the City or Suburbs but they are immediately crying Iesuits and Fire-balls Now what does our Transproser do but transverse this thus I strike Men down I fire the Town Where by the way it is a marvel our Author when he call'd his Book the REHEARSAL TRANSPROS'D forgot to add the PREFACE to Bishop Bramhall's Vindication TRANSVERS'D that double Elegancy would have been as pretty as two Flowers growing on one stalk And this I mention the rather because I sind he is a profest Critick in Titles for pag. 308 309. observing by chance the Title age of this Book A Rationale upon the Book of Common-Prayer of the Church of England by A. Sparrow D. D. Bishop of Exon. With the forme of Consecration of a Church or Chappel and of the place of Christian Burial by Lancelot Andrews late Lord Bishop of Winchester sold by Robert Pawlet at the sign of the Bible one would have thought that Sign might have atton'd for all in Chancery-Lane This he tells us was an Emblem how much some of them neglected the Scripture in respect to their darling Ceremonies So that the Animadverter cannot be better employed next than in writing another Book of Animadversions upon Title-Pages And because it is a Task so agreeable to his Genius I could wish if all other preferments fail the Gentleman might be advanced to the Office of Title-Licenser then Robert Pawlet and Iames Collins might shut up their Shops for any trading in Rationales or Ecclesiastical Policies and if he shall appear sufficiently qualified to discharge this trust I would have him removed next or if he please Translated to the greater Dignity of revising Prefaces if he be not averse from that because Prefaces as well as Epistles Dedicatory fell under the inspection of Arch-Bishop Laud. But seriously had not our Author Entituled his Pamphlet the REHEARSAL TRANSPROS'D we could have given it a more express Name unless there be some mystery more than ordinary couch'd in the word TRANSPROS'D which is the REHEARSAL TRANSSCRIB'D for in Transcribing more Verses of the REHEARSAL than he hath Transpros'd his Play-Observations seem rather to have answer'd the latter Title Besides his Verses before cited pag. 170. of his Animadversions I strike men down I fire the Town Pag. 62. He has hal'd in the two last Verses of the Song which the two Kings of Brainford sing descending in the clouds for a Couplet in a Song gives a better Ragoust to a Controversial Discourse then Bacon to an Olio or St. Auâ—tin to a Sermon Pag. 12. His Animadversion on these words of the Writer He knows not which way his mind will work it self and its thoughts amounts to no more than this that our Clergy-man was taken violently with a fit of Love and Honour and being sick of Prince Volscius his disease there was no other cure but this Charm Go on cries Honour tender Love says Nay Honour aloud commands pluck both Boots on But safer Love does whisper put on none And though the Writer protested He was neither Prophet nor Astrologer enough to foretell what he would do the Animadverter being both tells us it is precisely For as bright Day with black approach of Night Contending makes a doubtfull puzzling Light So does my Honour and my Love together Puzzle me so I am resolv'd on neither Though the Verses come in to no more purpose then one of Bayes his Similes Again for Bayes his Verses will serve for all occasions as well as his Prologue for all Plays pag. 202. he has borrowed these from the singing Battle Villain thou lyest Arm Arm Valerio Arm The lye no flesh can bear I trow If Mr. Bayes as you tell us pag. 17. was more civil then to say Villain he might have taught his Actors better manners All these besides the two last verses of the event of the Battle you have diligently Collected and for the most part faithfully transcribed unless in these last recited where for Gonsalvo in the Rehearsal you have put in Valerio and by the alteration of that one word have made it your own just so Mr. Bayes us'd to do with many a good notion in Montaign and Seneca's Tragedies yet though your Title promise us so fairly you have not Transpros'd three whole Verses in all your Book But be it the Rehearsal Transpros'd or transcrib'd or if you will Reprinted for your Pamphlet is little else but a Second Edition of that Play and Mr. Hales his Tract of Schism though methinks you might have so much studied the Readers diversion and your own as to have exercised your happy talent of Rhyming in Transversing the Treatise of Schism and for the Titles dear sake you might have made all the Verses rung Ism in their several changes I dare assure you Sir the work would have been more gratefully accepted than Donns Poems turn'd into Dutch but what talk I of that then Prynnes Mount Orguil or Milton's Paradise lost in blank Verse But as it is you give us quotations of whole Books like him who wrote Zabarella quite out from the beginning to the end professing it was so good he could leave none behind how like is this to our Transcriber yet whatsoever I omit I shall have left behind more material passages before his Edition of Hales p. 176. It is no absurdity now to say your Text is all Margent and not only all your Dishes but your Garnish too is Pork And thus much for your Regula Duplex changing Prose into Verse and Verse
the Arch-Bishop with a command that he and no other should Licence the Sermon the Bishop in pure obedience to his Majesties command no doubt would have declin'd the Office and shifted it off to one of his Chaplains alleadging very dutifully It was an occupation that his old Master King James did never put him upon but in the end being urg'd to Licence it himself he fram'd several Reasons why he could not consent unto it to which Mr. Murrey two or three dayes after having particularly acquainted the King with the objections brought an answer from his Majesty But this not satisfying the Arch-Bishop he dismist him with a desire that his Majesty would be pleased to send the Bishop of Bath and Wells to him that so he might by this means make known his Scruples But Mr. Murrey returning after one or two dayes more told him the King did not think fit to send the Bishop of Bath to him but expected he should pass the Book While these things proceeded thus slowly the Arch-Bishop tells us the minds of those that were Actors for the publishing of this Book were not quiet at Court that the thing was not dispatcht and therefore one day the Duke of Buckingham said to the King Do you see how this business is defer'd if more expedition he not used it will not be Printed before the end of the Term at which time it is fit that it be sent down into the Countries Which so quickned the King that the next message which was sent by Mr. Murrey was that if the Bishop did not dispatch it the King would take some other course with him Whereupon finding how far the Duke had prevailed he thought fit to set down in writing his Objections wherefore the Book was not fit to be publisht which he did and sent them to the King These Bishop Laud was commanded to answer in Writing and upon this the Arch-Bishop flies out into a Rage and taxes Laud so severely as the Animadverten tells us Pag. 286. So difficult was it for that incomparable Prelate to fulfil the Will of his Royal and not incur the displeasure of the Arch-Bishop who had not only contemptuously refused to conform to the Command of his Prince after so many urgent repeated invitations but justified his refusal in Writing and well might we expect that they who undertook an Answer should not escape his sharp Censure for besides that possibly Abbot who as 't is evident from his Narrative had no mean opinion of himself might conceit his Scruples unanswerable In so doing they seem'd to disarm him of all just pretenses and to call in question his wilful Denyal And accordingly he lays it on with a Vengeance upon Bishop Laud for this man says he who beleives so well of himself fram'd an Answer to my Exceptions this was that which stung him but to give some Countenance to it he must call in three other Bishops that is to say Durham Rochester and Oxford try'd men for such a purpose Why he that believ'd so well of himself though he thrust not himself upon the undertaking but was call'd to it by his Master should call in three other Bishops to his help I understand not Well the Confutation seem'd so strong that the Bishop of Durham and the Bishop of Bath for reward of their Service were sworn of the Privy-Council And in the end the Arch-Bishop persisting still in his Refusal notwithstanding that many things upon his motion were alter'd in the Book or expung'd out of it insomuch that he seems unwilling that his refusing to sign the Sermon should be judg'd by the Printed Book He was by the Kings Command which in the Animadverters modester Phrase is the under working of his Adversaries removed from Lambeth to Foord in Kent and afterwards sequestred and a Commission past to exercise the Archiepiscopal Jurisdiction to Mountain Bishop of London Neal Bishop of Durham Buckridge Bishop of Rochester Houson Bishop of Oxford and Laud Bishop of Bath and Wells who as our Animadverter says pag. 291. but falsly from thence arose in time to be Arch-Bishop for Abbot as all know was before his death restor'd again and Laud took London in his way to Canterbury The Approbation of the Sermon refus'd thus by Abbot it was carried to Mountain Bishop of London who Licensed it As for the Story of Doctor Woral his Chaplain who advis'd with a Gentleman of the Inner-Temple concerning his own Licensing it Rushworth has told us that it was Mr. Selden and it is enough we know the man His Expostulation with the Doctor was not unlike him if ever the Tide turn'd a civil expression that for if ever the Government chang'd he might come to be hang'd for it But Mr. Selden in this appear'd more scrupulous then Abbot himself who seemed not to disallow so much of the â—rinted Book as that any man from that should take a measure of his refusing to sign it And it is observable that the Loan being demanded of the Societies and Inns of Court the Benchers of Lincolns-Inne received a Letter of Reproof from the Lord of the Council for neglecting to advance the Service in their Society to return the Names of such as were refractory Historical Collections p. 422. With what justice now can the Animadverter call this an Ecclesiastical Loan and tell us that part of the Clergy invented these Ecclesiastical Laws instead of the Common Law of England and Statutes of Parliament for the whole Quire saith he sung this Tune pag. 294. and yet pag. 304. he makes us believe they sung so many different Tunes as the Presbyterians never invented more for one Psalm For there was Sibthorps Church and Mainwarings Church Montagues Church with many more and all this whether more ignorantly or maliciously 't is hard to say for 't is manifest this Loan the King was advised to by his Privy Council in 1626. Nor was Bishop Laud nor any of those Bishops that Arch-Bishop Abbot calls tried Men then of the Council for Durham and Bath were not sworn Councellors till 1627. So that he might have sparâ—d that Invective against the Clergy and Bishop Laud pag. 294 295 296 301. were it not impossible for him to speak well of any but the Tradesmen and the Forreign Divines That Bishop was so far from being a Principal in the matter of the Loan that he was no otherwise an Accessary then as he was employ'd by his late Majesty in drawing up the Instructions for the Clergy and penning an Answer to Arch Bishop Abbot's Exceptions and as to his undermining the Arch-Bishop Abbot himself seems to acquit him in telling us that all the water which afterwards so wet him flow'd from another Fountain For the Picture of Bishop Laud which the Arch-Bishop has drawn with so black a Coal and this Gentleman has Copied 't is done by too ill a Hand to be thought to resemble the Life and what may serve to convince us of the partiality of
into Prose that 's your first Rule Your second Rule is the rule of Observation or Record by way of Table-book As thus in my Observation say you p. 168. if we meet with an Argument in the streets An Argument how civil that is for a brawl so modest so gent both Men Women Boys that are the Auditory that 's well but Congregation would have bin better do usually give it on the modester side and conclude that he that rails most has the least reason Very subtilly concluded by our Observer the Boys and the Women Now I had thought that in a Controversie betwixt the Oyster-women and the Opponent Tankard-bearers the cause had ever been carried with confidence Noise and that the Rabble adjudg'd the Victory on their side who manag'd the dispute with the greatest clamour and violence prosecuting the baffled Scold that is the modester with stones hooting But I will allow our Authors experience in the Rabble-Affairs to be greater as having been a frequent assiduous Spectator of these little broyles of the Rascality He has told us where to find the contemplative man at the head of a troop of Boyes and Women in the corner of a Street his table-Table-book out and his hand and eyes very busie in remarking the petty disorders of a Riot This is his Diary in which our small Historian registers the proceedings of every Suburb Tumult in this he summs up all the Billinsgate Debates and Conferences 'T is his scolding Common-place-book which acquaints him with all the Moods and Figures of Railing here he has all the terms of that Art which Smectimnuus Marchmont Needham I. Milton or any other of the Professors ever thought of for there is a certain form Method in this as well as all other Arts but yet our Author being a well-wisher to the Railers to encourage those that have any inclination this way to improve that faculty assures them Pag. 261. That the secret is not great nor the Process long or difficult if a man would study it and though in other things your knowledge may be above his you may believe him in this he hath made it his business Every Scold hath it naturally It is but crying Whore first and having the last word Next he instructs his Pupil in the several kinds of Railing for besides the Common scurrilous way of calling men Buffoons Brokers c. p. 270. pag. 106. in which he is so expert that I am confident that Fellow in Plutarch that busied himself to find out how many several ways the Letters in the Alphabet might be rang'd tranpos'd alter'd could not invent more changes of the Letters than he has in instructing them to scold There is yet another by which dumb men may be taught to rail that is by Signs for there is a Language of the Hand and Head This is pag. 160. Where he tells us of an incorrigible Scold that though she was duck'd over head and ears under water yet â—tretch'd up her hands with her two thumb-nails in the Nit-cracking posture or with two fingers divariâ—ated to call the man still in that language Lowsy Rascal and Cuckold It is a pretty Tale I confess but so miserably foisted in that whoever will consult the fore-cited Page cannot but allow with me that our Disputant is better capacitated to maintain an Argument in his own Phrase with a rude bustling Carrman or a Porter in the street then with an Ecclesiastical Politician But to follow our Street-walker with a full Cry of Boys and Women at his heels he wants only the Fiddles to make up the Frolick marching in state with his Retinue through Lincalns-Inne-fields to â—haring-Cross after a sober remark or two according to his wonted formality on the Boys whipping their Giggs and the Lacqueys playing at the wheel of Fortune p. 206. he casts his Eye sometimes upon the Book-sellers Stalls and sometimes upon the Wall and gazing at last with admimiration at a Preface shewing what GROUNDS there are for FEARS and JEALOUSIES of POPERY after a solemn pause and profound silence having spit twice he turns him round to his Auditory the White Aprons and the Boys and with a grave Nod pointing to the Preface See here says he is one of the dutiful Sons of the Church that has writ a Preface shewing what GROUNDS there are c. when he knows as well as I or any of you I marry does he that there are no GROUNDS at all and therefore if he would have said any thing to the purpose it should have been rather A Preface Shewing the CAUSELESNESSE of the Fears and Iealousies of POPERY at which the Rout shouting Victoria Victoria the Gentleman big with wonder at his Lucky hit turns to the wall as the Privy-Councellor in Montaigne on the like occasion and pissing cries Not unto us O Lord not unto us but unto thy Name give the glory then having damn'd the Rationales as he pass'd along he slips into a Coffee-house leaving the Rabble to the following Adventures of the day Here placing himself at the Tables-end and calling for a dish of Coffee which no sooner brought but after a short grace drunk up he exalts his Superciliums and vexes his formal Beard to make his Face look like the Turks in the bottome of the Dish for by that Glass the Sages lean to dress themselves in their Oracular looks insomuch that the Coffee-Boy who had all this while intentively observ'd the Affectations of our Man of Gravity and Understanding had much ado to forbear asking him whether that was not his Picture which his Master had hung out imagining as he well might that he had sat for the Coffee-house Sign To proceed the Gazett being examin'd and many Political Discourses pass'd betwixt our Intelligent Sophy and the more judicious Boy for this little Officer you must suppose is his principal Camerade as being of greater quality then those that make up his Street Auditory and no less then our Authors Library-keeper I say after several facetious reflections on both sides on the Polish King and his Cross-legg'd Parliament of Taylors manag'd in the style of Prince Prettyman and Tom Thimble and many other Arguments too long to relate Company coming in and the house beginning to fill more Coffee is the word and away goes our Authors Camerade By this time the Politick Cabal-men were most of 'um set and all the Rooms rung with nothing but a continued Noise of Arcana Imperii and Ragioni di â—tato in these places some think most of our late Forms of Government were model'd and there are that say Machiavel the Florentine was born in a Coffee-house And now one sinks the Dutch in a dish of Coffee and another beheading the clean Pipes prognosticates the fate of De-Wit and VanPutten a third blows up a Fire-ship with a provident Whiff of Tobacco and a fourth pouring a flood of Rheume upon the floor opens the Hollanders Sluces Many secret Intrigues were whisper'd too
close to be heard but amongst all none we so loud as a Junto of Wits that had seated themselves near our Author while they were ingaged in a very warm dispute the Man of Observations draws out his table-Table-book 't is his most dangerous Tool making all this while as he minded nothing but no sooner had the Wits spoke of the Designes and Enterprises of the Bishops of Cologne and Strasburg Oh ho says he are you there abouts I think these are Bishop Bramhalls fellows or any an enterprising Bishops of 'um all pop he slaps them down and makes them his own and as they went on with the Attempts of the Bishop of Munster So there 's another I shall â—it'em for Bishops now I warrant you and pricks him down Bishops he knew they were and enterprising designing Bishops but never minded whether their Enterprises or Designes were of the same nature with Bishop Bramhalls or whether they acted in the like Capacity If the Readers cannot find out that themselves ev'n let 'em alone for Bayes Resolv'd it seems he was come what would to drag them by main force into his Book and he has thrust 'em in accordingly by head and shoulders two of them in one place but of this he repents him afterwards and says he was too prodigal of his Bishops but if the Gazett Commentators had furnished the Man with any more you should have had them freely and what can be more reasonable Where the Writer of the Preface tells us that Bishop Bramhall finished all the glorious designs that be under-took This says he might have become the Bishop of Munster though he we all know has not accomplish'd all his designs but our Author had never another Bishop left and he must stop the gap or no body therefore to bring himself and his Bishop off he tells us it might have become him before he had raised the Siedge from Groningen Nay then it is well enough if it might have become him at all But if yet you think these Bishops are not like Bishop Bramhall he can dress up Bishop Bramhall like these Bishops and because his reputation and Innocence were Armour of Proof against Tories and Presbyterians he arms him with a good old Fox mark here is Innocence with a Sword by its side and let any one judge now whether Bishop Bramhall in our Authors accoutrements be not very like the Bishops of Cologne Strasburg and Munster Ditto for we are yet in the Gazettstyle and our Scene is still in the Coffee-house We have advice that the French after a small dispute forcing the Dutch from their Post gained the passage over the Bettuwe c. I foresaw this all along says a Vertuoso this is Momba's and DeGroots doings to leave this passage open and ungarded My life for yours replys another supping up his Coffee and scalding his chaps for hast this is a Plot I plainly see 't a Plot of the Arminian Party this has been a brewing any time this Thirty years and upwards thus it always has been and thus it always will be as long as any of the Race of Barnevelt and Grotius are left alive I gad Sir and you speak a great deal of Truth says our Coffee-house Notary whose hand was moving all this while these Arminians are the rudest ill bred'st persons and all that in the whole world There has been a party of 'em in England that shall be nameless of such a Pontifical stiffness as if they were Companions for none but Princes and Statesmen forsooth Well I 'le say no more they shall know what a Satyrist I am I 'le Lampoon and print'em too I gad So out he goes leaving the Arminian and Calvinistical Wits to fight it out at Argument It is not easie to imagine now with what pleasure our Author takes a review of his Forces drawn out in their Notional Parade Here 's a fantastique Bishop Bramhall accoutred like a German Prelate at the head of the Irish Army there a Fairy Grâ—tius making a Bridge for the Enemy to come over while those Churches seated on the frontier of Popery take Alarm at their march Thus having rais'd and rang'd in order his Martial Phantômes he sets them a fighting through all the Tropes and Figures of Rhetorick He knew this way of resolving controversie into Eccleâ—iaâ—tical Combat and deeds of Chivalry would delight a muse and all that Besides he had a politick fetch or two in it for these Warlike Nâ—â—ions and arm'd Ideas being terrible to him he conceived they would be no less to others and that no answerer would have the courage to engage such a Rhetorical Souldier unless he were able to give him battell in all the Metaphors of War But alas it is not every Fight in Puppet-Shows strikes a terrour in the beholders nor are Armies figured in the imagination so dreadfull And though I will not deny that these hostile Shapes and Military Figures which our Romancer had quarter'd in the three Ventricles of his Capacious Brain his Memory Fancy and Iudgement being transform'd into Fortification and Garrison might raise such â—umults in his Sconce so far invade his civil Peace as to make the Gentleman startle at his own dreams yet to those who consider that these are but the fumes of Melancholy such Visionary Battalia's are no more frightful than thosefighting Apparitions which Exhalations raise in the Clouds But to indulgeour Author in the love of his Chimerical conceits struck blind with his own daz'ling Idea of the Sun and admiring those imaginary Heights which his fancy has rais'd Since even timerous Minds are Couragious and bold enough to shape prodigious Forms and Images of Battels dark Souls may be illuminated with bright and shining thoughts As to seek no farther for an instance the blind Author of Paradise lost the odds betwixt a Transproser and a Blank Verse Poet is not great begins his third Book thus groping for a beam of Light Hail holy Light Off-Spring of Heav'n first born Or of th' Eternal Coeternal beam And a little after thee I revisit safe And feel thy Sov'raign vital Lamp but thou Revisitst not these eyes that rowl in vain To find thy piercing Ray and find no dawn So thick a drop Serene hath quencht their Orbs Or dim suffusion veil'd No doubt but the thoughts of this Vital Lamp lighted a Christmas Candle in his brain What dark meaning he may have in calling this thick drop Serene I am not able to say but for his Eternal Coeternal besides the absurdity of his inventive Divinity in making Light contemporary with it's Creator that jingling in the middle of his Verse is more notoriously ridiculous because the blind Bard as he tell us himself in his Apology for writing in blank Verse studiously declin'd Rhyme as a jingling sound of like endings Nay what is more observable it is the very same fault which he was so quick-sighted as to discover in this Verse of Halls Toothless Satyrs To teach each hollow
Bishop No King seems to imply For though Royalty and Priest-hood which antiently by right of Primogeniture concenter'd in one the same being Law-giver and Sacrificer see here Mr. Author the Kings Right to the Priestly Office and the Clergies Interest in making Laws were in succeeding ages deriv'd to different Persons their Interests yet were not divided with their Persons But as the Royal and Sacerdotal Dignity have the same Original and antiently Prince and Priest had one and the same Name so though differently Branch't now yet as springing from the same Root they flourish and decay together So regularly is the Religious State incorporate with the Civil that the Image of Episcopacy like the Statuaries in Pallas Target seems so riveted in Monarchy that none can attempt defacing the one without breaking the other Nay those who have been taught by Calvin and Beza to demean themselves so irreverently to the Fathers of their Church have learn'd from such Apostles as Knox and Buchanan to whom duller Mariana might have gone to School to pay as little Obedience to the Fathers of their Country This is evident from these Opinions That the Kings Personal and Politique Capacity are distinct and so they fought for his Crown when they shot at his Person That the Original of Government is in the People and that he derives his Soveraignty from their Consent and not from Succession and by consequence is no King before he is Crown'd and his Style should not run Dei â—â—atia but Populi Consensu That he is greater then his Subjects singly and apart but lesser then them altogether that is as Mr. Digges speaks a Father is greater then this or that Son but less then all his Children together That there is a Co-ordination of the three Estates but this is moderate others go farther and tell us the King is subordinate to the other two Estates under whom he governs Nay Milton holds that the Legislative Power is in the Parliament exclusively and the Executive only in the King And that the Supreme Magistrate is accountable to the Inferior and though Paraeus's Book was burnt for this yet Mr. Baxter in his Holy Common-wealth maintains he may be call'd to an account by any single Peer Now because they have been too liberal and confer'd too large a Power in Civil Affairs on their Soveraign they will be sure to retrench it in Spirituals O they can never give enough to the Lay-Elders for they admit Lay-men to intermeddle in Ecclesiastical Matters though they exclude the King upon that account Therefore Bishop Bramhall speaking of the Scotch Disciplinarians in his Fair warning to take heed of their Discipline saith Besides those incroachments which they have made upon the rights of all Supreme Magistrates there be sundry others which especially concern the King of Great Brittain as the use of his Tenths First Fruits and Patronages and which is more then all these the dependance of his Subjects by all which we see that they have thrust out the Pope indeed but retained the Papacy The Pope as well as they and they as well as the Pope neither Barrell better Herrings do make Kings but half Kings Kings of the Bodies and not of the Souls of their Subjects They allow them some sort of Judgment over Ecclesiastical Persons in their Civil Capacities for it is little according to their Rules which either is not Ecclesiastical or may not be reduced to Ecclesiastical But over Ecclesiastical Persons as they are Ecclesiasticks or in Ecclesiastical Matters they ascribe unto them no judgment in the world Here he cites the Vindication of their Commissioners wherein they say It cannot stand with the word of God and that no Christian Prince ever claim'd or can claim to himself such a Power So that that great Prelate whoever he was be he amongst the Living or the Dead or in the World of the Moon that said The King had no more to do in Ecclesiastical matters then Jack that rubb'd his Horses heels may retract his Aphorisme since he is out-shot in his own Bow by Synods and Presbyteries for according to them Jack that rubbs the Horses heels if he be but a Lay-Elder is Supreme in Ecclesiastical matters Though why our Author would have his Adversary write a Book in defence of that Aphorism who had reserved the Priesthood and the exercise of it for the King I see not unless it be to vye him and see him and re-vye him in Contradictions This Figure now is lost to any man that is not a Gamester Upon considering all I am afraid that Reformation is Tinkers work making two holes for stopping one and therefore I am sorry that this Gentleman is employ'd in pulling Pins out of the Church for though the State should not totter he may chance to pull an old House upon his Head And really he has undertaken a desperate Vocation and there are 20 other more honest and painful ways by which he may earn a Living Not that I would have him to do in Ecclesiastical Matters so much as to rub down a Bishops Horses heels for fear my Iack should take himself for a Gentleman if he rides sometimes though it were but to water his Masters Horse Besides cleansing a Stable were it the Augean being a matter only of external neatness can never merit the Trophies of Hercules For neither can a Iustice of Peace for an Order about Dirt-Baskets deserve a Statue Nor for the same reason would I have him Chimney-Sweeper to the City though to give him his due he ought to be consider'd by them the next Offices they have in their disposal for taking such a care of their Chimneys and their Consciences None of their painful Pastors can admonish them better of their duty or their Interest Fear God Honour the King preserve your Consciences sweep 'em rather they 're fouler then your Chimneys follow your Trades and look to your Chimneys not forgetting the Crickets this is well enough for a Belmans Song instead of Look to your Fire Locks and Candle Light But Chimney-Reformation is somewhat below the man and there are many other Callings more advantagious and beneficial then crying Chimney Sweep Ay or then Card-Matches and Save-alls or the more substantial Mouse-Trap-men many I say there are of a more Orthodox Invention then these and less distastful to the sanctified ear of English Protestants witness the London-Cryes of the late blessed Times when The Oyster-Women lockt their Fish up And trudg'd away to cry No Bishop And some for Brooms old Boots and Shoes Cry'd out to purge the Commons House Instead of Kitchen-stuff some cry A Gospel Preaching Ministry And some for Old Sutes Coats Cloak No Surplice nor Service Book Well since Bishops must down and to be sure then down falls Popery I think the fairest way to rid our hands of them is for Mr. Animadverter to put his Book in the hands of the Itinerant Gospellers that travel up and down with two penny Books and
I might add that many Stories there are of Subjects who have in all humility condescended to bear with the Infirmities of their Princes remembring your rule that Great Persons do out of Civility condescend to their Inferiâ—urs nay have been proud to imitate them even your Alexanders followers bore their heads sideling as their Master did and Dionysius his Courtiers would in his Presence run and justle one another and either stumble at or overthrow whatever stood before their feet to show that they were as pur-blind as he So much for his design against Monarchy There is a deal of Plot yet behind but now it begins to break Page 224. he says In the late Kings time some eminent Persons of our Clergy made an open defection to the Church of Rome And instances him that writ the Book of Seven Sacraments which had been pertinent indeed had he writ of Seven Sacraments all necessary to Salvation But how can this man imagine that we should believe that some eminent Persons of the Clergy in the late Kings time made an open defection to the Church of Rome when he does not believe himself for p. 297. he cannot think that they had a design to alter our Religion but rather to set up a new kind of Papacy of their own here in England Then this was the reason it seems why Archbishop Laud gain'd Hales from Socinus you great wit confess'd when bassled by that Prelate that he understood more then Ceremonies Arminianism and Manwaring and many besides of considerable Quality from the Church of Rome but none of greater note then Ch llingworth for this it was that he twice refus'd a Red-Hat and no wonder a Cardinal-ship could not tempt him when he design'd an English Popedome But to prove this Surmise of his groundless we need go no farther then the Reconciliation which the Arch-bishop labour'd betwixt us and Rome for the compassing of which amongst other Articles propos'd the Tope was to be allow'd a Priority This Accomodation notwith standing your Wisdom censures as a Design impossible to be effected was in so great a forwardness once that it was thought nothing but the Opposition of the Iesuites on the one side and the Puritans on the other could obstruct it as the Popes Nuncio affirm'd to be written by the Venetian Embassador expresses it And indeed the Pragmaticalness of these two had made the Breach much wider then at first else the more Moderate of each party by distinguishing betwixt the Doctrines of private Men and the Confessions of either Church might easily have adjusted those Differences and so have laid a lasting Foundation for the Peace of Christendome And as for all our Authors idle talk of Infallibility and Secular interest he shows he has clearly mistaken the whole matter for 't was not an Agreement with the Court but with the Church of Rome that was propos'd in this Mediation But the Gentleman is wonderful pleasant for who knows says he pag. 35. in such a Treaty with Rome if the Alps would not have come over to England No I would not they should for they have stood ever since the Flood at least and I am a great enemy to the removing of ancient Land-marks England might not have been oblig'd lying so commodious for Navigation to undertake a Voyage to Civita Vechia That need not neither Sir and though t is pity this Conceit should have been lost yet there is a better way then this for since our Island is so conveniently situate for Trading had there been a good Correspondence maintain'd betwixt the Catholick Merchants and ours they mght more easily have drove on the Traffick interchangeably exporting our Religion in Cabbages and importing the Roman in Oranges and Lemons So that there was not that necessity of Englands lying at Dover for a fair Wind to be Shipt for Civita Vechia For besides that Transportation of Kingdomes is somewhat more troublesome then Removing House such a little Spot of Ground as this Island would soon have been missing in the Map had it been mov'd out of its place and so have occasion'd many Disputes in Geography Who knows too if the English had once broke up House and pack'd up their Goods and their Lands to be gone but some of their Neighbours might have follow'd their Example and the Hollanders after they had given their old Landlord the King of Spain warning might have flung up their Leases and in time the Nethâ—rlands would have been to be Let. And though his Catholique Majesty might possibly be provided with better Tenants for these 't is said have not paid him a farthing since the Duke of Alvâ— distrain'd last for Rent yet if all these new Planters should not have had Elbow-room in St. Peters Patrimony his Holiness I fear would have been put to the trouble of building some Cottages upon the Wast or at least of making a Law against Ecclesiastical Inmates to have secur'd his Parish from an unnecessary Charge Certainly had Mr. Author been one of the Commissioners for draining of the Fennes he could not have argu'd more profoundly against the cutting of the Ecclesiastick Canal pag 30. he compares it with those Attempts in former ages of digging through the Separating Istmos of Peloponnesus and making Communication between the Red Sea and the Mediterranean But since he is so averse from any Commnnication with Rome he might have done well to forbid any correspondence between their Elements and ours Who can tell at how great a distance every Breath of moving Air may continue articulate Especially if vocaliz'd in Sir S. Moreland's Trumpet Nay why may not those Birds that sojourn with us half the year when they fly thither for Winter Quarters sing strange stories in the Italian Groves and those the learned in Ornithology understand How if those Winds that whistle near our Coasts should whisper Tales there and strange Secrets may be discover'd by the Roman Eaves-droppers if they lay their Ears to the ground What does he think of a Communication between Rivers for it may so happen that the Protestant Thames may at some time or other mix with the impurer streams of Papal Tyber and hold some kind of Intelligence in their pratling Murmurs when they both discharge into the Sea there may be another Communication too this way between the Roman Piss-pots and the Reform'd I am somewhat unwilling I must confess to venture too far into these Depth's for fear of being plung'd past recovery I leave them therefore to be fathom'd by this Gentlemans Plummet He has been over Shoes already ay and over Boots too He has waded through the Leman Lake and the River Rhosne and knows every Creek and Corner in each better then any of the Water-Rats or Natives p. 55. he tells you that the River ducks under ground such is its apprehension a very apprehensive River indeed least the Lake should overtake it that is to say the Lake stands still as fast as the Current can run So great
Criss-Cross-Row that point more plainly at the Man that owns them for according to Signatures they Emblem a Tall Sir Iohn that has been a Round-Head As to the first part of his Character our Author has so far decipher'd him telling us pag. 68. of one I. O. a tall Servant of the Ecclesiastical Politician's And for the later the Owner of those two Letters has decipher'd himself in his Books But if these be not sufficient Marks to know the Beast by he has describ'd the Monster with the punctuality of a Gazett-Advertisement that gives notice of a Crop-ear'd Gelding stray'd from his Master For pag. 83. he tells us this I. O. has a Head and a Mouth with Tongue and Teeth in it and Hands with Fingers and Nails upon them Which is almost as apposite a Description of an Independent as his Friend Mr. Milton has given us of a Bishop who in his Apology for his Animadversions upon the Remonstrants Defence against Smectymnuus says that a Bishops foot that hath all his Toes maugre the Gout and a linnen Sock over it is the aptest Emblem of the Bishop himself who being a Pluralist under one Surplice which is also linnen and therefore so far like the Toe-Surplice the Sock hides four Benefices besides the Metropolitan Toe So that when Arch-Bishop Abbot was suspended we might say in Mr. Miltons style his Metropolitan Toe was cut off But since Milton is so great an Enemy to great Toes however dignified or distinguisht be they Papal or Metropolitan we would fain know whether his are all of a length since the Leveller it seems affects a Parity even in Toes Whether now his Bishop with a Metropolitan Toe or our Authors Congregational Man with ten Fingers and long Nails upon all be the fitter Moâ—ster to be shown is hard to say Only I am glad to hear that the Author of Evangelical Love has got Claws since belike his Evangelical Love like that of Cats is exercis'd for the most part in Scratching and Clawing And now let the Bishops look to their Faces and beware of some with long Nails For unluckily among other Calamities of late there has happen'd a prodigious Conjunction of a Latin Secretary and an English School-Master the appearance of which none of our Astrologers foretold nor no Comet â—ortended It may be for our Authors reason because it is of far higher quality and hath other kind of employment And therefore though an Hairy Star it might afford no Prognostick of these two Monkeys lousing the Bishops heads But if Milton's Sock will not well endure a comparison with the Surplice what think you of our Animadverter's joyning the White-Surplices and the White-Aprons in one period pag. 195. observe Iohn Milton they are both Linnen and both White 'T is much we heard not here of the Sympathy of White Linnen as well as of the Sympathy of Scarlet pag. 68. where our Author has married the Tippet and the Red Petticoat See how the Turky-Cock if that be not too Masculine an Emblem for a Capon-wit bristles at the Sight of any thing that 's Red. However this I hope may be a means to reconcile the Holy Sisters to the Church for if there be so good an Agreement between the Tippets and Red Petticoats and the White Surplices and White Aprons they are come one step nearer to Conformity then they were aware of Who knows too but in time they may be perswaded that their's are Canonical Vestments save only that the Doctresses wear their Tippets at the wrong end and inverting the usual Form under their Surplices In the mean time I think the Regulating Canonical Habits an Employment no way commensurate to our Authors Abilities wishing him rather to concern himself in such Worthy Cares as a Reformation of the Hospital-boys Blue Coats or the Water-mens Red-Coats and Badges and so till he proceed to the Lacquey's Liveries And then possibly he may conceit himself qualified in some degree for an Undertaking in Heraldry A Perfection he envies in Bishop Bramhall For it looks like upbraiding in any man to vaunt his skill in Heraldry before any one of his private Condition that wants a Coat of Arms or at least like reflecting on his private Breeding that never learnt to Blazon anothers For what else can you make of his Animadversion pag. 34. upon this Maxime of the Bishop That second Reformations are commonly like Metal upon Metal which is false He raldry Upon which it is a wonder says he that our Author in enumerating the Bishops perfections in Divinity Law History and Philosophy neglected this peculiar gift he had in Heraldry which is altogether as sleeveless as the Heralds Coat if I may have to offer at that low Wit with which our Author so Plentifully abounds For to give you some of his Clenches p. 158. he says his Adversary leaps cross and has more doubles nay triples and quadruples then any Hare And to shew that he as well as Mr. Bayes is an enemy to all the Moral vertues pag. 322. he tells us the Ecclesiastical Politician makes Grace a meer Fable of which he gives us the Moral And p 135. if the Archbishoprick of Canterbury should ever fall to his lot I am resolved instead of his Grace to call him always his Morality Whereas he tells us a Story of the Scurvy Disease pag. 134 his History and his hard names of Podostrabae Doctylethrae Rhinolabides c. pag. 132. declare him sufficiently Graduated in Canting for a Pox-Doctor I shall only mind him here of another Scurvy Disease deriv'd from Geneva Contemporary with that brought over from the Indies For unless our Calculators are out the Pox and Presbytery broke out at the same time in Europe And therefore are the Twin-Diseases deservedly associated in a Fatal Chronology And now for what he discourses p. 47. of those who having never seen the receptacle of Grace or Conscience at an Anatomical Dissection conclude that there is no such matter the Learn'd in Anatomy are so far from granting him this that they assure him of the contraty Maintaining upon dissection of the Presbyterian Carcasses that they have made an undoubted discovery of the Receptacle of Conscience unanimously agreeing upon their best Observation that it lies very near the Spleen There is one Conceit behind which I had almost forgot in his Discourse of the Liberty of Unlicens'd Printing p. 6. which is little else but Milton's Areopagitica in short hand The very Sponges which one would think should rather deface and blot out the whole Boâ—k and were anciently used to that purpose are become now the Instruments to make things legible But truly I think the Sponge has left little else visible in his Book more then what it did in the Figures of those two Painters in the one of which it fortunately dash't the Foam of a mad Horse and in the other the Slaver of a weary Dog the Sponges ruder Blot prevailing above all the light touches and tender strokes of the
Pencil And indeed for this inimitable Art of the Sponge this of Expressing Slaver and Foam to the Life I will not deny but his work deserves to be celebrated beyond the Pieces of either Painter If you will have it in his Elegancy I never saw a man in so high a Salivation If in Miltons I know he will be proud to lick up his Spittle He has invested himself withall the Rheume of the Town that he might have sufficient to bespaul the Clergy But enough of these two loathsome Beasts and their spitting and spauling Now what think you of washing your mouth with a Proverb or two For I cannot but remark this admirable way he has of Embellishing his Writings Proverbial-Wit As for instance One night has made some men Gray pag. 144. and better come at beginning of a Feast then latter end of a Fray pag. 166. Which to express them Proverbially are all out as much to the purpose as any of Sancho Pancha's Proverbs For the truth of this Comparison I shall only appeal to the Leaf-turners of Don Quixot Some there are below the Quality of the Squires Wit and would better have become the Mouth of his Lady Ioan or any old Gammer that drops Sentences and Teeth together As speaking of his own Tale of the Lake Perillous he faith in its Applause this Story would have been Nuts to Mother Midnight pag. 56. and pag. 142. A year nay an instant at any time of a mans Life may make him Wiser And his Adversary hath like all other fruits his annual Maturity Though there is one sort of fruit trees above all the rest that bears with its Fruit a signal Hieroglyphick of our Author and that 's a Medlar A Fruit more remarkable for its annual maturity because the same also is an annual rottenness As for his wonderful Gift in Rhyming I could furnish him with many more of the Isms and Nesses but that I should distast a Blank Verse Friend of his who can by no means endure a Rhyme any where but in the middle of a Verse therein following the laudable custom of the Welsh Poets And therefore I shall only point at some of the Nesses the more eminent because of the peoples Coiage and of a Stamp as unquestionable as the Breeches and so far more legitimate then any that have past for currant since the People left off to mind words another Flower of their Crown which they fought for besides Religion and Liberty they are these One-ness Same-ness Muchness Nothing-ness Soul-saving-ness to which we may add another of our Authors own Pick-thank-ness in which word to keep our Rhyme there is a peculiar Marvelousness I should now in imitation of our Author proceed to his Personal Character but I shall only advise his Painter if ever he draws him below the Wast to follow the example of that Artist who having compleated the Picture of a Woman could at any time with two strokes of his Pencil upon her Face two upon her Breast and two betwixt her Thighs change her in an instant into Man but after our Authors Female Figure is compleated the change of Sex is far easier for Nature or Sinister Accident has rendred some of the Alteration-strokes useless and unnecessary This expression of mine may be somewhat uncouth and the fitter therefore instead of Fig-leaves or White Linnen to obscure what ought to be conceal'd in Shadow Neither would I trumpet the Truth too loudly in your ears because 't is said you are of a delicate Hearing and a great enemy to noise insomuch that you are disturb'd with the tooâ—ing of a Sow-geIders Horn. Some busie People there are that would be forward enough it may be to pluck the Vizor off this Sinister Accident not without an evil Eye at your Distich on Vn Accident Sinistre to which they imagine some officious Poet might easily frame a Repartee to the like purpose as this Tetrastich O marvellous Fate O Fate full of marvel That Nol's Latin Pay two Clerks should deserve ill Hiring a Gelding and Milton the Stallion His Latin was gelt and turn'd pure Italian Certainly to see a Stallion leap a Gelding and this leap't fair for he leapt over the Geldings head was a more pâ—eposterous sight or at least more Italian then what you fancy of Father Patrick's bestriding Doctor Patrick Neither is it unlikely but some may say in defence of these Verses that Nol's Latin Clerks were somewhat Italianiz'd in point of Art as well as Language and for the proof of this refer those that are curious to a late Book call'd the Rehearsal Transpros'd where p. 77. the Author or some body for him asks his Antagonist if the Non-conformists must down with their Breeches as oft as he wants the prospect of a more pleasing Nudity And for his fellow Journey-man they may direct the Leaf-turners to one of his books of Divorce for he has learnedly parted Man and Wife in no less then four Books namely his Doctrine and Discipline where toward the bottom of the second Page they may find somewhat which will hardly merit so cleanly an Expression as that of the Moral Satyrist words left betwixt the Sheets Not but that he has both excus'd and hallow'd his Obscenity elsewhere by pleading Scripture for it as pag. 24 25. Of his Apology for his Animadversions upon the Remonstrants Defence against Smectymnuus And again in his Areopagitica p. 13. for Religion and Morality forbid a Repetition Such was the Liberty of his Unlicenc'd Printing that the more modest Aretine were he alive in this Age might be set to School again to learn in his own Art of the Blind School-master Thus have you had the Transproser Rehears'd And now perhaps you may be in expectation of the Fâ—fth Act promis'd you in the Title but because it is the Bookseller's as well as Poetâ—s Art to raise your Expectation and bring you off some extraordinary way I will not deprive you of the Pleasure of being Cheated but since the Transprosing Muses are gone to Dinner I shall at present according to a late Precedent only read you the Argument of the Fifth Act receding as little as I can from that which was found in Mr. Bayes his Pocket and then making our Author personate Prince Pretty-man and varying old Ioan to the Church of Geneva it is in effect no more then this that Prince Pretty-man the Character is Great enough for a man of Private Condition being passionately in Love you may allow him to be an Allegorical Lover at least with old Ioan not the Chandlers but Mr. Calvins Widow walks discontentedly by the side of the Lake Lemane sighing to the Winds and calling upon the Woods not forgetting to report his Mistresses name so often till he teach all the Eccho's to repeat nothing but Ioan now entertaining himself in his Solitude with such little Sports as loving his Love with an I and then loving his Love with an O and the like for the other Letters And
anon with such melancholy divertisements as angling in the Lake for Trouts And making many an Amorous Comparison between his Heart and the silly Captives his innocent Prey His fishing lines you may conceive fram'd of a no less delicate contexture then old Ioan's Hair the Mode of wearing Hair-Bracelets was scarce in use then or else you had heard of that To be short after he has carv'd his Mistresses Name with many Love-knots and flourishes in all the Bushes and Brambles and interwoven those sacred Characters with many an Enigmatical Devise in Posies and Garlands of Flowers lolling sometimes upon the Bank and sunning himself and then on a sudden varying his Postures with his Passion raising himself up and speaking all the fine things which Lovers us'd to do His Spirits at last exhal'd with the heat of his Passion swop he falls asleep and snores out the rest If this Argument shall require a Key I shall only say I call not the Church of Geneva old for any other reason then that Antiquity in Mistresses is reckon'd a Deformity Besides I think it would have been an high Indecorum to have supposed Mr. Calvin's Widow younger then the Chandlers And for Conferring the Honour of Prince Pretty-man on our Author I shall alleadge such Reasons as these because they Symbolize in their humour and not a little in their Expressions in their Contempt and quarrelling of all others that are not in love with the same Mistress and lastly in the choice of their Mistresses And first for their Symbolizing in their humour and expressions Our Author begins very briskly with Love and Blazing Comets but in the middle of his Book as Prince Pretty-man in the height of his Rapture he grows heavy and dull and a Lethargy at length seising on his Spirits by that he comes to page 263 he falls asleep having first bid Mr. Bayes Good Night but before you can speak a Simile of eight Verses over him whip he starts up and cryes Good Morrow which is all out as well as It is Resolv'd Add to this that his Snip-Snap Wit hit for hit and dash for dash is pure Prince Pret and Tom Thimble As to their Symbolizing in their Contempt and quarrelling of all others that are not in love with the same Mistress his whole Book is a Demonstration of their admirable Agreement in this point of Singularity Hectoring all that are not equal adorers of Mr. Calvin's charming Dowager though he himself would sooner have a Passion for a Whale then any other Mistress but his own And for the choise of their Mistresses the Prince quits that Chloris whom Gods would not pretend to blame for old Ioan the Chandler's Widow and this Gallant no less preposterously espouses the sluttish Mother Church of Geneva before our Church with all her Ornaments and Decorations preferring the Blue and White Aprons before the Glories of her Yellow Hood and Bull-head admiring most the Wrinkles of a homely Widow and the Beauties of the Grub-street Gossips her Ragged Daughters and Grand-Children Now'tis but a little walk to Geneva and to invite you thither I dare undertake for your Welcome That you shall have good Chear there and good Company And besides your other Entertainments there you may shoot with the Arbalet or play at Court-boule The Divines there are notable Good Companions They are incomparable Pall-mall-Players And very good Bowlers too no doubt would they were as honest Men But though we have Geneva in the Wind I am afraid we had need of a better Guide then our Noses else we shall ne're come thither And for Strangers to ask the way would be the readier means perhaps to set'em out of it If we enquire of some they 'le tell us it lies South of the Lake if of other they say it lies West and Geographers are in as many Stories as the Country People In this uncertainty of Information what Course shall we steer shall we consult the Oracle We must go then to the Transproser He 'l direct us sure as Wisards to lost Cattle Navigators may be taught to sail by him truer then by the Compass He has breath'd the Aire of as many Countries as the Travelling Gâ—eek and Pious Trojan And may more justly challenge the Honor of Citizen of the World then that wise Philosopher A Geographer born and bred even from his Cradle Rockt from his Child-hood on the Sea's Coriat himself was not a truer Traveller And what one sung of him is with more justice due to our Author Some say when he was born O wondrous hap First time â—e piâ—t his Clouts he drew a Map If we ask his Advice then he 'l bid us Steer to the West and yet those that have Travell'd as far as Geneva in Mercator Botero c. cry to the South of the Lake Must we then correct Maps no rather our Compass and add a New Point of this Pilot's Invention call'd South and by West Well fain I would have saluted Mr. Calvin's House and paid my obeysance to his Threshold But since the Way is so difficult and my Guides unresolv'd I have no great Maw to it I shall only therefore leave a Ticket for his Assignes It is an Enquiry concerning certain things laid to the Charge of that harmless honest Divine In which if I could receive any Satisfaction from them I should gladly acknowledge the Obligation and be more ready for the future to pay a just Veneration to his Memory The one is a Story of an Italian Marquess which because I am affraid it tends not much to his Honor and there is a paltry Book on purpose set out concerning the whole matter I shall forbear to recite here The other a scurvy Report of one Servetus who after he had been confuted by the English Bishops and so dismist where were the Pillories Whipping-Posts Gallies Rods and Axes that are the Ratio Vltima Cleri was more secreetly handled by Mr. Calvin lighted into the other World by Fire and Faggot add these two to all the rest and together they are Ratio Vltima Calvini for which reason Bellius Eleutherius and their fellows styl'd him a Bloody Man and the villanous Montfort drew Calvin's Picture not in a Gown and Cassock but in a Helmet Back and Breast belted and armed like a Man of War this shew'd more noble then Bishop Bramhalls Metaphorical Armor Nay to go further he was burnt and as if the World might not know for what his Books too But what makes the Case somewhat the worse Grotius and two or three unlucky Fellows lighted unhappily upon some of them and would bear us in hand that there were no such Crimes there as Calvin imputed to him Serveti Libri noâ— Genevae tantum sed aliis in Locis per Calvini diligentiam exuâ—ti sunt fateor tameâ— unum me exemplum vidisse Libri Servetiani in quo certè ea non reperi quae ei objicit Calvinus sayes â—rotius in his Votum pro Pace I have