made mention of it to you and since that time I have wrote another Book of Field Recreations with some Playes and Comedies and other Inventions There is also another Book in which I have pleasantly described some of my adventures which I call The Errors of Youth If any one shall impose any other Book upon me I shall disavow it It is true that not long since a Friend told me You have composed several Books for you have made this and that and another Book and named a number of Books On my Faith said I unto him you have not yet the perfect number of them If you will be exact to mark all that is done amiss I will shew you some pieces which I did write at eighteen years of age and will you put those also into the number of my Books That Answer stopped his mouth and I must assure you if you will oblige me to you you must forget those petty follies of my Youth and not reproach me with them I was then but of a tender age and therefore I ought to be excused Would you believe that even that Book made in my Nonage hath found some to commend it Not long since I did go to give a visit to one of my Friends whom I had the happinesse to find in his Chamber There was a Gentleman who was well acquainted with us both and one of his Kinsmen who did not know me who falling into Discourse of that Book the other demanded of him If there were not good things in it He made answer They were very rare things I asked of him what he found well in it talked a long time of it as of an indifferent thing He did the like and freely told me That in his opinion the Author did too much amuse himself in Scholastick meditations I coldly replyed to him and without altering my Countenance That it was that which pleased me and which I believed would please also all Ingenious people since there are no Men of Quality who have not had their Education in the Vniversity He was surprized with amazement to find that I was the Author of the Book which he undervalued and afterwards to cover his fault he told me that he did like it very well himself I protest unto you said Raymond then to Francion This is one of the most generous actions that I have ever heard of and moreover this ingenious way to discover your self was truly excellent A Fool would have leaped into a Rage and called all the World to witness but for you there is nothing here to be found that could trouble the tranquility of your Soul You acquaint me with some Apothegms which are worth all those that are recorded to have been spoken by illustrious personages and although I do remember that you call them The Essays of your Youth yet they may be read with singular delight since we take pleasure to hear the Adventures of Beggers and Thieves and Shepherds It is most true said Francion and I assure you that although there are some who affirm there are things in that Book which are not worthy to be recorded yet before they judge of them it is requisit that the Readers should throughly understand them I know as well as they what ought to be inserted and what to be omitted but I was pleased to write of some things that concerned my self which being true do need no other Ornaments than their own livelinesse For all that I will not debase my self and I will not be ashamed to say that I know not if those Writers which at this day are so glorious being so young as I was when I composed that Book of which I speak unto you being as I have said but of eighteen years of age would have given such demonstrations of their understanding I will not travel farr for any Example I should be glad if these makers of Romances by the dozen and those who expresly do compose Letters to have them printed could perform any thing better in so short a time and with such little Study as I did take in that Book I composed in one day no lesse than two and thirty pages for the Presse and it was moreover with a Spirit incessantly perplexed with other thoughts and I could not intirely addict my self unto it Sometimes I was heavy and half asleep and knew no other motion but that only of my right hand so that if I did write at that time any thing which was good it was only by Fortune Moreover it was a pain unto me to take the pains to read over my own Writings and to correct them for by what Incouragement should I persist on this Sloth of Study I should gain no glory at all if I had made a good Book and should I have received it it was too vain by farr to have charmed me It is easie therefore to collect by this neglect which according to the sincerity of my Conscience I do acknowledge that those works in which I have exercised all the faculties of my Spirit will be of another price but it is not certain that I can so intirely addict my self to any particulars for I do much hate those unprofitable observations to which our Writers do devote themselves It was never my Intention to follow them and being as I am altogether of another temper I ought not to be put in the same rank with them unlesse they will give me a quality which I am not in a capacity to receive They incessantly trouble their Imaginations to furnish them with some new subjects to content the desire they have to write which goeth before the consideration of their ability and I write not but only to put into order those Conceptions which a long time I have entertained If any one shall think that in this manner I do defie them I will not take the pains to remove that opinion from him for I am confident that in making profession religiously to observe the rules of a Gentleman or Nobility I may challenge my adversaries if I please my self as well to the combat of the Pen as of the Sword I shall not testify a greater vanity in one than in the other in promising my self the Victory Neverthelesse I will not vex my self at so poor a thing and having alwayes made a greater account of actions than of words I had rather exercise my self in Virtue than in Eloquence and those shall deceive themselves who observing that which above I have mentioned shall conclude me to be arrogant They will object unto me that to praise my own Works is to follow the Custom of the Mountebanks at New-bridge who extoll their Balsoms and of the Comedians who in their papers which they stick up in every Corner of the street doe give their Plays the titles of admirable and incomparable But it is to be considered that if any one deserveth to be blamed for that they are those only who having endeavoured to perswade us that
their children who durst not revenge themselves of me but I did so cunningly plead mine owne cause that they were constrained to avouch that I had all the reason in the world to correct those absurdities which they committed Oftentimes hearing my Father discourse of Universities in which there were Colleges to instruct youth and where all kind of peoples children were admitted of I passionately desired to go thither for to enjoy so good company whereas at home I onely conversed with Countrey Louts and bruite Coridons My Father perceiving that I was naturally inclined to Learning would not at all divert me from the same in respect he full well knew that it was but a very ill Trade for me to follow the Warres as he had done Now whereas the Colleges of our parts were not according to his Phantasie notwithstanding all my Mothers obstacles and moans he himselfe having some urgent affaires at Paris took me along with him and boorded me with the Master of the College at Lysieux unto whom was recommended by some of his friends having given me in charge unto a certain Advocate of his old acquaintance whom he desired to furnish me with all necessaries he returned into Britaine leaving me to the mercy of Pedants who having dived into my small capacity they declared me to be fit for the fifth Classis though it was by favour too But marke you what a sad alteration I met withall and how farre I was to seek being gotten quite beyond my byas for I came very short of the enjoyment of those pleasures which I promised my selfe and you may imagine that it was very strange unto me to be absent from my Father who oftentimes took me along with him unto severall Lordships which he had in Britain and where I was alwayes called my young Master and you may imagine how it angred me to have lost that sweet liberty which I enjoyed by galloping from place to place in the Countrey going a Nutting and plucking of grapes in the Vineyard without feare of the Farmers as also in following the Doggs and Hunts-men for that as now I was more cloystered up by these Fryers and was forc't to keep houres to be assisting at the Divine service at Meales and at the Lectures when as the Bell told by which all our Actions are regulated and in lieu of my former Master the Parson who never gave me so much as an ill word I had now to doe with a Regent who had a terrible aspect and who walked alwayes with a whip in his hand with which he could as well fence as any one of his Calling Nor doe I believe that Dionysius the Tyrant who after a strange change of his Fortunes became Scholemaster to the end that he might still command had a more majesticall haughty and terrible countenance than himselfe Now the most difficult taske which I met withall under this Mans dominion was that I was never to speak but in Latin and I could as well have been hanged as not to let slip some words of my Mother-tongue insomuch that I ever and anon incurred the penalty of receiving a blow with a Ferule for my part I once resolved to doe as Pythagoras his Scholler did to keep silence for seven yeares together in regard as soon as I opened my Mouth I was accused and reviled with as hainous words as if I had been the greatest monster in the world but they might as well have cut out my Tongue as have debarred me from speaking truth besides I inclined so much towards the property of my Mothers sexe as that I would not let my Tongue grow mouldy for want of using of it insomuch that to let it have its full scope and carriere I was constrained to make it pronounce the quaintest Latin words that I could devise or had learned unto which I added others in Pedlers French to patch up my discourse withall My Chamber-Pedant was as proud and impertinent an Ape as possible could be he caused himself to be called Hortensius out of a vaine-glory as if he had been descended from that famous Orator who lived at Rome in Cicero's time or that he were as elegant as he I suppose his right name was Master Heurt eur but that he purposely altered it to the end people might believe he had something of a Roman in him and that the Latin was as naturall to him as his Mother-Tongue In like manner divers Authors of this our Age have more ridiculously clad their names in a Roman disguise and have them terminated in an ius that their books might have a better vent and that the Vulgar and Ignorant might believe that they were composed by antient writers Nor shall I need to trouble my selfe to name them farther you need but to repaire to Pauls Church yard or to Ducke Lane where you may know them by their workes But notwithstanding that my Master committed the like folly and that he was endowed with an innumerable quantity of such like mock-vertues All of us Scholars were not a jot sorry for it not so much I will promise you as to finde his inexpressable dogged and miserable covetous condition which made him pocket up the greatest part of our boord Wages to feed us onely on Poore John or empty Platters And as then to my great griefe and regret I did learne that all the words which doe expresse the disasters and misfortunes of Scholars doe by a very remarkable fatality begin with a P. as first of all touching our Masters themselves they are Pedants and Penurious fellowes we the Scholars are pitifull poor painfull punisht pennilesse and such like Epithets which are so numberlesse that there would be three maine things wanting to summe them up unto you a good Dictionary a great deale of Patience and a good deale of Leisure As for our Breakfast and after-noons Lunchins we were even at the mercy of a most accursed mercilesse person who purposely to bereave us of our pittances took a walk by his Masters command at the very instant that he should have delivered them unto us purposely to spare charges and to make us fast out a bad dinner when as nothing was set before us but what my Master had a minde we should eate nor could we ever crave so much favour at his hands as to obtaine any Redishes Sallat Mustard or Vinegar lest they might beget in us a comming appetite or a good stomach to our victualls Master Hortensius my learned Tutor was one of those who loved such like Sentences as those which were engraven on Apollo's Temple and therefore he wrote Nequid nimis over our Kitchin doore that the world might take notice that it stood not with his good liking that a Man should surfeit with the Banquets and Quickshawes which were there to be made ready Good God! a most pittifull messe in comparison of that which the very Swine-heards of our Village did daily feed on and for all that we were termed to
all of them there are very great defects which ought to be amended however take notice that I respect such books as our Religion doth honour and allow of My greatest pastime as then was to read the feats of Chivaldry and I must needs confesse that it edged on my courage and begot in me an unexpressible longing to goe and seek adventures abroad in the world for I conceited it would be as easie for me to cut a man in sunder as an Apple in two and it pleased me beyond imagination when as I reade of a huge slaughter among the Gyants who carbonaded one another as small as minced meat and the blood which flowed from their bodies in rivulets and violent streams seemed to me to be a River of Rosewater in the which I bathed my selfe most deliciously and at other times I imagined that I was the same Damosel who kissed the Infanta Gorgeose who had green eyes like unto a Faulcon you must give me leave to speak to you in quaint termes when I mention these true Chronicles To come home to you I entertained no other thoughts save of encounters enchanted Castles delicate Bowers delights to Lasses and love-Sports and reflecting on them as pure fictions I said those were too blame who censured the reading of them and that it was a great deale of pitty in this Age people did not lead a life conformable to the descriptions of my Book and consequently I began to blame the sordid undertakings wherein Men doe busie themselves at present and the which I doe even at present hate from my very Soule Thus I became an Arch wagge and a very Rake-hell nor retained I any thing of our Countrey breeding not so much as the very accent of our speech for that I boorded with Normands Picards Gascons and rich Parisians of whom I learned new customes and I had already gained the reputation of being a Pestilent-fellow from that in the night time I haunted the Court yards with a Bulls peezle in my breeches to belabour those who with reverence be it spoken went to the houses of Easement my Cap was flat my Doublet was Buttenlesse fastned with Pins or Points my Gown was all betattared and patcht the Collar of my Doublet was black and my Shooes were white finally I was in the right garbe and Equipage of a reverend Scholar and he who would perswade me to neatnesse was my profest Enemy And when as formerly the sole angry accent of my Masters voice did make me shake like an Aspin Tree blowne with the winde as then a Canon shot sturred me no more than a Crack backwards I feared no more the lash than a Flea-biting as if my skin had been of Steele and my daily occupations consisted in a thousand waggeries as in flinging Squibs Crakkers Dirt and sometimes stinking Surreverences on the heads of the passengers as they came under the Colledge windowes in the Streets one time above the rest I did let downe out of the Window a Basket tyed to a string for a pastry Man unto whom I had throwne down sixe pence to put me some Cakes in it and as I drew it up againe my Master who contrary to my knowledge was in the room just below me drew in the Basket as it passed by his Window and never quitted it untill he had quite emptyed it my selfe running downe the staires to discover who had served me this sly trick I met with the Pedant standing at the threshold of the house doore and perceiving that it was he I durst not so much as open my mouth to him though I grinned most hideously on him being vexed to some tune when as at the same instant he commanded me to goe and invite another Master his neighbour to come and take an after-noons collation with him well away I went with a heavy heart and brought his guest into the very chamber where I saw no other Cakes on the Table but my owne Cakes and of which he never proffered me so much as the least crum so base a Cluster-fist was he behold I pray how well he could practice the Lawes of pilfering by sherking on his Disciples to feast his friends but though I said little or nothing yet I thought with my selfe I will be even with you good Master Pinch-penny I 'le warrant you though I should hang for it for e're long I shall shew you a trick of my skill Now an occasion to be revenged of my Master proffered it selfe shortly after as well as I could have wished it for that the Father of one of our companions had sent our Master a Hare Pye for a present commending it highly the very first time that he tasted of it was at our Table for that he delighted it seemed to eate that which was good and rare before us purposely to set our teeth on water yet he did not so much as present the least part there of to his Son who had sent it him I heard him give command that it should be carryed back againe into his Study for that he valued it as much as his Books loving the nourishment of his Body better than that of his Minde the place wherein it was lockt up was onely inclosed with boords and joynted and lined on both sides with old rotten Mats the which I ripped asunder at his being absent and whereas I as then was very slender a Gascon who was one of my lustyest comrades lifting up a thwart beame by maine strength I at length slipt into the famous Study as sacred to Bacchus and Ceres as to the Muses where prying into all holes and corners peeping under the Shelves and tossing all the Books topsie turvy truly I could find nothing at all and relenting my misfortune to my companion who with a great deale of impatiency expected me without I had well nigh past both my leggs under the beame to come out againe backwards when as stooping my body very low to croude my selfe through I perceived a great chest wherein the year before there had been a Garden made and it came into minde by the inspiration of some little Devill as I thinke that the Pye might happily be there whither returning I found it to be even so the crust thereof was very hard and very ill savoured and extreamely scanty of Butter wherefore I concluding with my selfe that it would be an umannerly part to carry away all I leaft the Coffin and onely took the Carcasse in lieu whereof I put therein a paire of dirty Socks which were thrust into a hole thereby and having covered the Case againe I packed up my Venison in a brown paper gave it to my comrade and pursued it and him as fast as if I had been a hunting indeed for that I longed to get out of the Study againe with a whole skin Nor need I sweare that it remained not long in our clutches nor were we much troubled to resolve where to hoord it up safe for we put it all up
rest should follow by turns Hortensius having read this Answer did throw it into the fire affirming that he would have nothing to doe with the affections or the Feasts of Fremond and being more wise for the time to come he did swear that he would indear himself no more to any Girles but the Muses who also do allure us because they are of that deceitfull Sex Although the Message his old Mistresse did send unto him was full of flatteries yet he would never endure the frequentation of her Company any more neverthelesse he discontinued not to wear a Sword and hath ever since lived on his Revenues and what he hath gained by translating some Books out of Latin into French or by being a Corrector of the Presse I finished all the course of my studies in the same College paying my pension to the Usher where nothing arrived worthy of recital but what already I have related to you and the Vacations of the year of my Philosophy being come I was commanded by my Father to take my leave of the College and to return to Brittany When I was in my own Country I saw the end of all my happinesse I was perpetually vexed by being demanded in what Calling I would imploy my self my ears were furred with the importunate clamors and counsells of my friends who would have me study Humanity and the tedious Volumes of the Law to be one of the Counsellers in Parlament but opinions do change when age comes on and my Father afterwards hated no men more than those of the long Robe as since he hath made it appear by one who married my Sister And my Mother desirous to comply with him in all things did seem to desire as well as himself to have me a Counsellor of the Law This did rellish so ill with me that it is impossible to represent it to you At that time I declamed within my self against the wickednesse of the Age where the natural Laws are corrupted and the most generous Spirits are constrained to take upon them a great charge to trouble their repose and cannot live in Quiet which is a blessing that is not denyed unto Beasts From day to day I delayed to learn that dangerous knowledge which I have always hated more than the plague it being the cause of the greatest part of our Vexations Being on the point to forsake my Fathers house he did fall extremely sick In vain the Physicians round about him did their endeavour to recover him so it was that he dyed and left his Wife and Children much afflicted for so great a losse After his death my Mother who accorded with me in all things which I desired did leave off the Resolution she had taken to force me to take the long Robe and because I was a stranger in Brittany being accustomed to the Air of Paris I besought her that she would permit me to return thither she demanded of me what I would do there I replyed to her that I would passe away some time in learning honest exercises and that I would indeavour to put my self in the service of some Prince My Brothers in Law did give their advice upon it and represented to me that Fortune reign'd most imperiously at the Court and shewed there the greatest effects of her inconstancy And briefly when I presumed to be in the highest degree of all her favours she would throw me down into the bottom of despair All this did not detere me I had nothing in my head but the greatnesse of the world In the end they gave me leave to put in practice my intention I returned to Paris and lodged in the University which I could not forget I was afterwards acquainted with a Man who had Chambers ready furnished and took Pensioners and I dayly repaired to a Player on the Lute a Fencer and a Dancer to learn their art so that one hour was to exercise my self in one faculty and the other in another I imployed all the remainder of my time to read indifferently all manner of Books and I learned more in three months than I did before in seven years in the College when I heard those Pedantick absurdities which did so corrupt my judgement that I believed all the Fables of the Poets to be true stories and did conceive to my self that there were Sylvans and Dryades in the Forests Nayades in the Fountains and Nereides in the Sea Moreover I believed that whatsoever was spoken of transformations was true and I never saw a Nightin gall but I believed it was the Kings Daughter of Thracia Neither was I alone abused in this conceit for I know a great many more and some Masters themselves who were of the same opinion As these old Errors were chased out of my understanding I filled it with better knowledge and setting my self to review my notes of Philosophy which our Regent had dictated unto me I did confer them with the best Authors I could find so that by my industry I was sufficiently instructed in every Science for a man that would not make a particular profession of them In the midst of these various entertainments I lived about a year in the greatest solitude in the world and very seldom did goe out of doors and walked then no further than on the old Banks which were near unto my lodging I was only visited by two or three young Gentlemen with whom I was acquainted I remember that one day there came with them one of this Country whose name was Raymond who some few days afterwards returned without any one in his company Looking in my Coffer after he was gone I found my little Box empty in which I had put at least threescore Crowns I remembred that I left him alone in my Chamber not suspecting him to be so light finger'd as he was When ever I saw him I spoke openly unto him what I though and we came to very sharp words which I followed with threats In the end I demanded of him if our controversies on the next morning should be decided by the Sword in some place out of the City He answered me that he could not then meet me because he was very early to go out of Town according to his promise to some of his Companions with whom he was to travell into Flanders The next day I sought all over Paris for him but could not find him and since I never saw him and do not know what is become of him O how great was my grief of heart to have lost my money with which I intended to have appareld my self being about to leave off my mourning habit to write unto my Mother for more would be more hurtfull than profitable for she would not be perswaded but that I had lost it at play and would have sent me nothing but Reproofs I received a Letter from her wherein she represented that I was poorer than I thought my self to be and that my Father had left many debts to
This is my Invention you shall find these words printed in the beginning of the second leaf in great Letters TO THE GRANDIES as if it were the addresse of a Dedicatory and under it shall follow this Epistle It is not to dedicate this Book to you that I make this Epistle but it is that you may understand that I do not dedicate it unto you You will peradventure object It is no such great Present and but a Packet only of idle and foolish actions which I have as idly observed and collected but you will say Why do you not give unto us an account of virtuous Deeds Why shall I not have the liberty to speak of those things which great men dare do I have too free a Spirit to conceal the Truth and if I had the leisure I had inlarged this Volume with the lives of infinite persons who do seem to challenge place in my History by their continual enormities But if those of whom in my Satyrical entertainments I have already made mention doe not consider that I appear first of all in the rank and are not contented to speak unto me because I have spoke of them Do you know what they will gain to find themselves offended T is this They will discover to all the world that it is of them whom I do speak which was not known before and moreover they will procure that for the time to come 〈◊〉 shall not feign to name them because they have begun to do it themselves Do you conceive that a man of such a temper doth perplex himself about the Dedication of Books and that I who can adore no perfections but what are divine ought to humble my self before multitudes who are obliged to give thanks to Fortune that she hath granted them riches to cover their defects You are to understand that I look not on the world but as a Comedy and esteem of men no more but only as they do act well the part which is given to them He who is a Peasant and liveth according to the Rules of honesty in that condition doth seem to me more commendable than he who is born a Gentleman and performeth not the actions of a Gentleman So that prizing every one according as he is and not according to that which he hath I do equally esteem those who have the charge of the greatest affairs with those who have only but a charge of raggs upon their baggs if Virtue doth not make the difference Neverthelesse I have not so little a consideration to the truth but that I do believe there may be found a Generation as illustrious for their Merit as their Birth and Fortunes and that this age is not so barbarous but that there are some of you who love honourable actions let but those who are of the number cause themselves to be known better than heretofore and I promise them that then I will not only dedicate Books unto them but shall be ready to live and dye in their service This is the Epistle which I have addressed to the Grandies which is for all that not an Epistle or at least is not dedicative but it is rather a negative Epistle Raymond replyed It is bold and gallant and no man can be offended at it for it is not to men of Virtue to whom you speak they are exempted but when will it be that in earnest you will set your self in work about it I hope said Francion that within a few days I shall put Pen to Paper to write my last work but I will not publish it no more than I will the entire History in which I will labour when I shall attain unto the Haven whereof I do desire to arrive For my self I do not affect to torment my spâ—rits I doe not write but only to divert my self and before I do take my Pen into my hand I do take my Lute from the Case and after I have wrote a leaf I do walk and play which is to me as the respite of Musick betwixt the acts of a Comedy Observe what are the pains which I take I bite not my Nails in meditation of what I am to write Would it be fit do you think to make posterity partake in things no better studied I should have repented to have been elaborate for I desire that none but my familiar Friends may peruse those works which I shall compose It will be some comfort to me said Raymond that I am one of that number and also I do perswade my self that your History being finished you will not forget me My brave friend said Francion upon my faith you speak too seriously concerning that which is nothing worth I will not leave you in this error you must understand I am no such great Scholar as since our first acquaintance in France I have made you for pleasure to believe There is more of me in apparence than in effect I have by heart some pieces of my friends of which I debate oftentimes with my self and when I have presented any thing to personages of Honour I in the like manner do assist my self with the labours of other men or do add something to it of my self which is of no value How can it be that so poor a Cavallier as my self should have learned so much It is for those to be learned who are Gentlemen of that profession and have slept upon Parnassus Hill See here a pleasing Dissimulation Do you think said Raymond to excuse your self from shewing me your works Because you will have it so replyed Francion I will shew unto you all that which I have composed although it be not worthy of your eye It was well known that Francion had not so narrow a capacity In a short time he was able to accomplish whatsoever he undertook but it was true that this was the season in which he had rather give a Subiect to others to write upon than to write himself He was now busie on other thoughts and seeing that Hortensius who was always the same man was indued with an incomparable presumption he determined to put some pleasant design in practice to make himself merry with him He communicated this design to Raymond Du Buisson and Audebert without whom he could do nothing at all and the more to advance the plot he made partakers of it four Alman Gentlemen with whom he was acquainted Men of a gallant Conversation and whom Hortensius as yet had never seen One day as he was with him Audebert entred into the Chamber and said There are lately some Polonians come to Rome Know you not what businesse they have to do It is said that their King is dead but I have not yet heard who is he whom they have chosen to succeed him It must be some Prince of Italy who is now in this City All who were present said it was the first news they had heard of it and discoursing with themselves who should be King of Polonia One named one