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A91603 The life and adventures of Buscon the witty Spaniard. Put into English by a person of honour. To which is added, the provident knight. By Don Francisco de Quevedo, a Spanish cavalier.; Historia de la vida del Buscón. English Quevedo, Francisco de, 1580-1645.; J. D. 1657 (1657) Wing Q190; Thomason E1585_2; ESTC R203342 108,347 327

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a life as might serve to conceal my self I conceived those very proposals to be a good beginning and said in my mind Could I but once of my self produce such actions as might savour of Honour and Vertue I should be a thousand times more to be commended then those who derive them from their Grand-Father These were my contemplations when behold I overtook an old man on a Mule making towards Madrid After usual salutations we fell into discourse he demanded of me whence I came I told him from Alcala A curse light upon those Countries replied he for there is hardly one man of understanding thereabouts I wonder said I you should so undervalue them for I assure you there are many ingenuous men in those parts Ingenuous men say you replied he all in a fury whereabouts I pray you I am sure I lived fourteen years since at Majabond where I was a School-master and the man that made all the Christmas Carols they sung there yet they had never so much wit as to make me any present for it but that you may be made sensible both of their ingratitude and ignorance I shall shew you a Song which is here in my Satchel with that he put his hands into his Breeches I observed his action and could not but much wonder at his behaviour After he had fumbled up and down on both sides a pretty while together he drew me out a certain Fardle of papers as greasie as a Cooks clothes amongst them he pick'd out one in which was described the meeting of the Shepheards going to Bethlehem made up in as pittiful sad Rhimes as ever was seen in a Ballad It was impossible for me to say any thing in opposition against him for I gave up my self to such a fit of laughter at the sight of his simplicity that I could scarce fetch my breath So I began to flatter him for my better pastime and told him I was much of his opinion concerning the beastiality and stupidity of those people who were unable to judge of things according to their worth and that for my own part I had never seen any thing in my life which pleased me better I beseech you said he since you like them so well to hear a little piece of a Book I have made upon the eleven thousand Virgins upon each of which I have made fifty Stanzas of eight Verses a piece I assure you it 's a rich piece I to excuse my self from hearing so many Millions of Stanzas beseeched him to talk to me no more of godly affairs I think the Devil is resolved to vex me with this importunate Rascal said I to my self turning about my head and making a sowr face He without more ado fell a groping for a Comedy in which were more days work then a man had need to have made in going to Jerusalem I did it in two days said he this is but the foul draught it will take up at least half a Ream of Paper when it is compleated I have named it Noahs Ark All the Representations are of Cocks Birds Foxes Asses and Boars in imitation of Aesops Fables It is my own added he and in deed I beleeve the world never yet saw the like if I could but once get it acted I am confident all the Spectators would be ravished Well said I but how can that be when all the Interlocutors must be beasts which cannot speak Ah th' Devil on 't that 's all the difficulty in it but I have a trick for that too I can change my figures and put in Parrots Jayes Magpies Starlings all which may be taught to speak and for the Interludes I will bring in Apes Monkies and the like Yes marry said I now I hold with you now you have hit the nayl on the head This is not all replyed he I have some other fine toyes which I made upon a woman whom I loved Look you said he here are nine hundred and one Sonnets and twelve Copies of Verses when I heard him naming those numbers I verily thought he had been talking of money all which I made upon her feet I asked him if ever he had seen her feet not as yet replied he but the conceipts are by way of Prophesie I was much pleased with the mans ingenuity but the fear I was in least he should begin to read some of his Iliads made me alter my discourse Looking about I spied a Hare which I shewed to him in good time said he for in one of my Sonnets I have compared her to that creature and withal he began to recite it and I to divert him told him look yonder is the Star which ushers in the day Every thing falls out to day according to my wish said he I will now ending his former recite you the thirtieth in which I compare her to a Star when I heard that I began to dispair fearing there was not any thing on earth or in Heaven upon which he had not made some Rhimes But when I found we were almost come to Madrid I was in hopes he would not have rehearsed his stuff in the streets but to my great affliction it fell out quite contrary for to shew what he was he spake so much the louder I begg'd him to be quiet telling him that should the children hear he was a Poet they would throw Lime and rotten Apples at us because of late they had been declared to be all fools by the Politique Ordinances Published against them by a certain person who had once been of the Poetique Sect but since reclaimed and brought to his right wits He was stark mad to hear me say so but however intreated me to let him see them if I had them I told him I would when we were at our Lodging Now because he was acquainted in the Town and I not I was guided by him We went then to an Inn where he used to lodge At the door we found about a dozen Fidlers and blind Rascals who were waiting for him After mutual embracements they asked him for some fresh Carols new Songs Lampoons or any other pieces of wit He drew them out a good many from a Wallet which he had and got five Ryals a piece for his Papers In fine he bid them farewel and turning to me look you said he I will get above three hundred Ryals of those people before I go hence and therefore that I may dispatch their desires I must needs beg leave to retire from you a little while and after supper we will see those accursed Ordinances of which you told me Buscon plays the Box with his Poet and shews him the Ordinances against Poets The Ran-counter he had with a Souldier pretending a Recompence for his services And of a Hermit who cheated him at play Buscon's reception by his Vncle A Way went my Poet into a Chamber by himself to make some Ballads In the mean time Supper was providing having stuff'd out our Doublets he
down-right blow which shall comprehend in it all the spiral lines of the Sword For my part said I I understand not one syllable of what you speak neither little nor great Hold said he there 's a book which expoundeth all of them it is called the Swords Dexterity It is an excellent good one and containes miracles and that you may no longer doubt it when we come to Rejas whither we are going you shall see me do wonders with a couple of Spits therefore I pray believe he who reads this book may easily kill whom he will and as many as he will He had need then replied I get a receipt how to make the Plague or turn Doctor of Physick Whilest we were thus discoursing we came to Rejas and as we were alighting at the Stable he cryed out to me that I should make an obtuse angle with my leggs and then reducing them into paralell lines that I should alight perpendicularly The Host who was at the door seeing me laugh did the like and asked me if the Gentleman were a Jew or an Hebrew With that question I thought I should have dyed Well he put his Mule into the Stable and then spake to the host saying Ho lo you within there pray lend me a couple of spits that I may roast two or three Angles I shall restore them immediately Yes Sir said the Master of the house but you need not put your self to the trouble Sir only give me the Angles my wife shall dress them though I must confess I never yet heard of any such Birds How they are not birds said the Fencer and looking upon me began to smile to see what ignorance is lend me two Broaches I mean only to fence a little and peradventure what I shall shew you may be worth you more then all you ever got in your life To be short the spits were all used and instead of them he was forced to be contented with two Ladels never was there seen a more pleasant spectacle he stood upon his guard in this posture quoth he I advance and I make my thrust and gain the point of the eye Remember it for I make use of it at this day to kill to the life Now I pray see the difference between a thrust and a cut he never came within ten paces of me but went round about me whoever had seen us with our Ladels in our hands would have sworn we had been inventing some secret design against a pot of Pottage which was ready to run away by boyling over then all out of breath with the exercise look you quoth he this is the true secret of Arms not of your swaggering companions who can only wield a flagon and call themselves fencing Masters but indeed know nothing but how to drink well He had scarce made an end of speaking but I spied coming out of a Chamber over against us a certain Personage who seemed to be somewhat discontented his Mustachio's of the colour and as big as the mane of a bay-horse well made a broad brim'd hat with one side buttoned up the t'other hanging over his face a kind of a coller made of an old Table cloth just like an Ox-coller his legs displayed like the Emperial Eagles his countenance with a great Per Signum Crucis de Inimicis suis His Mustachio's like a pair of Spindles a Sword by his side a Dagger upon his Kidneys with the bars shining like a Nuns Parlour and looking on the ground I have been said he in my dayes as these marks will testifie and by my head I will give him a hundred cuts with my Sword nay I l'e kill him outright that shall dare to injure the Fencing-Masters with that he laid his hand on his hilts and withdrew three paces backwards I was afraid of a quarrel to prevent which I step'd in between them and told him there was no body spake to him nor gave him any provocation However he continued in his fury let him come cryed he with his naked Sword if he hath ever a one and leave his Ladles that we may shew wherein lies the true secret of arms Therewithal my poor Companion took out his book and said look you here 's the Book which containeth it it is printed by the Kings Priviledg and I will maintain the truth of it with this Ladle here and in all places whatever for look you let us measure and then drawing his compass this Angle is obtuse but the 'tother drawing his Sword I know neither Angel nor Obtuse nor did I ever hear of any such Fencers names but with this Sword in my hand I 'le cut off all their heads that shall despise our Art therewithal he held up his hand to strike but the poor Rogue my Companion at the same time began to look about him and run away towards our Chamber It is our of his power to hurt me cryed he for I have gotten the height of his eye with much ado at last the Master of the house an my self made them friends for my own part I could hardly speak for laughing We lay in the same Chamber we went to supper and so to bed About two in the morning he rose up in his shirt and began to grope about the Chamber advancing and retreating withal uttering a thousand extravagances in Mathematical Language he wakened me and not only so but called for the Chamberlain to bring him a Candle saying he had found the object fixed to the Stoccade our Landlord cursed him to the pit of Hell for troubling of him and at last called him fool with that he return'd back to his Chamber and told me if I would rise I should see what a rare invention he had found against Turkish Cimiters which he was then going to make his Majesty acquainted withal for that it greatly imported the welfare of Christendome Not long after the day began to appear we rose my Companion and the Fencing Master shook hands and I payed our Reckoning and so we proceeded on our Journey The conceited Extravagancies of a certain Poet whom Buscon overtook going to Madrid I Took my way towards Madrid and my Companion parted with me for he was bound another way He had no sooner left me but he cried out to me aloud I stayd for him and though we were in the open field and no body near us yet he came to me and whisper'd me in the ear saying For Gods sake Sir let me beg you not to discover unto any man those rare Mysteries which I have shewed unto you but make use of them for your own occasions I promised him so to do He went his way and I mine laughing at the conceit of his Extravagances Thus I rod on above a League without meeting any one ruminating with my self upon some difficulties which presented themselves to my thoughts concerning my profession of Honour and Vertue for first I was of necessity to obliterate the memory of my Father and then to lead such