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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A59437 The miser a comedy acted by His Majesties servants at the Theater Royal / written by Thomas Shadwell. Shadwell, Thomas, 1642?-1692.; Molière, 1622-1673. Avare. 1672 (1672) Wing S2861A; ESTC R21941 62,964 102

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this night if you dare trust your self with him I 'le bring your Father to see him in this condition Ex. Bellamour Theodora Pray do it will do very well Tim. Oh dear Mistriss have I found you let me Salute you de ' see Theodora Hold Sir Tim. Nay prethee Mrs. Thea don't be so coy look what I have brought you here here 's a Bottle of Campaigne I think they call it and almost a whole Neats-Tongue and a power of Sweet-Meats for you dear Mrs. Thea there they are Theodora This Fellow has that advantage by nature that not drunkenness nor any condition can make him worse Aside Tim. Well Mrs. Thea I have been with the finest Ladies and the merriest Gentlemen we did rant and roar and sing and tear Hey Diseases and Troubles are c. Faith I am as drunk as a Drum or as the driven Snow or as Davids Sow as the saying is de ' see Hey fa la la la prethee dear Mrs. Thea let me kiss thee now nay prethee do nay shaw poise on 't Theodora Be not so passionate good Sir She thrusts him almost down Tim. Nay peuh I can't abide this you might have given one a fall now would I might ne're stir but 't is no matter for that I 'le drink six go-downs upon reputation in Campaigne to your health de ' see I can be merry when I set on 't i' faith here 's your health upon my knees de ' understand me Oh if I had but Fiddles to play a health now He drinks upon his knees Enter Goldingham and Bellamour Bell. Do you see Sir how abominably drunk he is Gold He is a little in Beer he is he is disguis'd that 's the truth on 't Tim. There Mrs. Thea I have done it faith you shall pledge me by word of mouth de ' see nay fack I am sound you may drink after me de ' conceive me Bell. You see Sir he is too drunk to be married to night Gold Come come he 's the fitter for 't for being drunk if he be sober he may repent him and ask a Portion stay here I will fetch a Parson immediately Ex. Goldingham Bell. This is worse and worse Madam did you hear him Theodora Yes to my grief I must into my Chamber and be very sick She offers to go Tim. Nay if you stir I am a Rogue a very Rogue de ' see wee 'l be very merry Diseases and Troubles c. Bell. Who taught you this insolence unhand her Tim. Why you saucy Fellow you what 's to do with you Ha you are so purdy Exeunt Bellamour and Theodora Enter Rant and Will Goldingham 's man Will. Where 's Mr. Timothy Squeeze Rant ' Slife what makes this Rascal here if I do not carry him off I lose the hopefullest Bubble in Christendom Tim. Where 's Mrs. Thea Mrs. Thea Rant Mr. Timothy come along with me Mrs. Ioyce is impatient till she see 's you Enter Bellamour Tim. I 'le not stir till I see Mrs. Thea where's Mrs. Thea Hey Hey Bell. She says you are a drunken Rascal and she will have you kick'd out Tim. Does she so would I might ne're stir if I do not do her errand to her Father Rant Come away and leave her Mrs. Ioyce is a person of Quality and Fortune and will use you with more civility Tim. I know she 's a fine person and I 'le wait on her but I am resolved to stay till Mr. Goldingham comes that I may tell him of this Gilflirt his Daughter Rant Nay then I must to my last shift Bayliffs come in Softly Enter three counterfeit Bayliffs Bayliff I Arrest you at the Suit of Humphrey Nit a Barber Tim. Sirrah you lie like a Rogue I owe him not a farthing Bayliff No Sir but you did vi et armis break or cause to be broken a very large Window where he us'd to expose his Flaxen Periwigs Rant Is that all I 'le Bail him for that Tim. Will you nay then I 'le break 'em again I 'le break Windows with e're a Gentleman that wears a head Bayliff Come come and talk of these things in another place Tim. Ay with all my heart Diseases and Troubles c. What a pox care I come Exeunt all but Bellamour Bell. This is a lucky Fellow that came in to our rescue Enter Theodore Theodore Dear brother I am glad I have found you I have a design and upon my Father too in which I am confident you will joyn Bell. You may be sure to command me in any thing Theodore I know some may blame me but love excuses all Bell. Love like the Crown takes away all Attainders Theodore My design is to work so upon my Fathers covetousness as to draw him into a Plot against the Government and he is you know a mighty well wisher to the damn'd good old Cause yet Bell. This will be dangerous tampering with how can you draw him into one without being guilty your self Theodore It shall be but a seeming Plot you may be sure I would not engage my self in a real one 't is only a design to invert the order of nature for a while and keep my Father in awe Bell. How can you contrive it Theodore I have several great Chests almost full of Lumber but cover'd on the top with a great many fine Arms here he comes I have not time to tell you the rest but pray second me in what I shall say to him Enter Goldingham Bell. I 'le not examine your design but serve you Gold Have you the confidence to appear before me after your giving my Ring away and sending for those mountains of Sweet-Meats and that Ocean of Wine and Limonades Theodore I humbly beg your pardon but I thought I had done well since you commanded me to shew all the respect imaginable to my intended Mother-in-Law Gold Respect with a pox de ' call it Theodore I beseech you be not angry I 'le get your Ring again for you and put you in a way to get forty Guinnes this night but I must be very private in it Gold How can you do that then I will forgive all your extravagance but how is it speak you may trust Bellamour Theodore Sir there is one that was my Shcool-fellow that I am very well acquainted with that is called a Phanatick according to the flesh he after he had made me take an Oath of Secrecy told me of a design his Brethren had who out of pure Zeal against Surplice and Common Prayer Book were resolved upon an insurrection and to sieze in one night upon Whitehal and the Exchequer Gold What say you Theodore They have accordingly provided Arms and Ammunition which they dispose of in packs of goods to their secret friends and well wishers for which they reward them liberally Gold What can this come to Aside Theodore He remembring that when we were Boys together I had shewn him a secret Vault in the Garden that is