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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A36755 The amorous old-vvoman: or, 'tis vvell if it take. A comedy. Acted by His Majesties servants. Written by a person of honour. Duffett, Thomas. 1674 (1674) Wing D2443A; ESTC R214579 38,785 79

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My Vows to th' first I for the second dye Cla. I cannot apprehend this second love Constantia was his first Aman. But wheresore she she who was so guiltless Of all my Crimes shou'd want a Monument Be lost to all Posterity I apprehend not Cla. All this discourse is still beyond my reach Aman. Yet blessed Clara wherefoe're thou art Thou hast a Noble shrine within this breast he lies do●n Cla. The ridle 's now explain'd 't is me he loves For when I took this shape 't was given out By my command that I was dead but how Or where conceal'd yet it seems strange That I shou'd prove the cause of his Revolt VVho ne're was yet belov'd perhaps his Vow 's Directed to some other of my name I wish it were I 'le satisfie how e're my Curiosity ho Signior Amante ho He 's in an Extasie or else asleep Signior Amante Aman. Ha! Thou blest Idea and divinest form Of that fair Maid my soul ador'd Instruct me where to find her Sepulchre Cla. He takes me sure for Deaths Embassadour I understand you not no● know I her Aman. Do not disguise your message for I know Y' are sent by Clara on some blest errand Cla. I 'le humour him it may have good effect Sir 't is most true I am by Clara sent VVhose restless soul wanders without content Because your Passion does disturb her peace If that you love her you your flame will cease Else she as cause must suffer in her urn For your inconstancy therefore return To your first love Exit Clara. Aman. Do I deprive my Clara of her bliss VVretch let thy Crimes accumulate thy torments Rather than injure her but both's impossible How can she be concern'd in my Revolt That never knew my change Heaven's too just She can but be an accidental cause And if to cause such bad effects were sin The Gods themselves are scarcely innocent Exit Scena Sexta Strega Sanco●Panco Riccamare Garbato Streg Sanco-panco Sanc. VVhat wou'd your worship forsooth Streg Set the Gentlemen some stools Sanco Gar. Does not thy Stomach begin to wamble And Rowl like a Ship in a storm Ric. Thou art too curious she 's rich and I can Digest a few imperfections Gar. As the chattering of her chops like a new beaten Ape which together with the salivation Of her Nose makes her kiss as moist as a Young Girl that licks her Lips after stew'd Prunes Ric. Thou art a sworn enemy to old Women Strega Coughs Gar. Mark that Cough she has had it ever since The cold she got in Nebuchadnezzars days Doing homage to the Golden ●mage Streg Gentlemen be pleas'd to seat your selves Gar. She straines a complement as if she were Costive upon a close stool Ric. Peace Infidel Thy whineling Courtship To Arabella is ten times more ridiculous They all seat themselves and Strega in a ●icker-Chaire Streg Gentlemen the observation of my younger Days has instructed me from time to time In the politick secrets of nuptial conjunction And of seven Husbands heaven be prais'd I 've buryed in my days I found but one That lov'd me for my self Gallants I Mean for my well-favouredness and this Man Was my first the other Six pretended Love But doted on my wealth Now as my first Did love for youth and favour my last must Love for age and comeliness of mind I mean Wisdom and Experience Ric. I am the Man that wou'd so love and from Each antique part of venerable age Make youthful pleasures spring joyes of mind Th' older the Body and the more decay'd The soul 's more youthful still and vigorous For as a Tenement that 's held by time Whose Walls and Roofes are half con●um'd by age Enjoyes a freer influence of the Sun Than Towers newly built or modern Caves So you participate the knowledge of Gar. Making May Butter Ric. So you participate the knowledge of Gar. The wonderful use of a dry dogs-turd Ric. Pox on thee peace the knowledge of Gar. Stewing Prunes and Munching Marmalade Ric. A Pox confound thee the knowledg of The superiour Powers Gar. A rare speech in commendation of Arabian Mummy Streg Sir I perceive your affection and how directed The right way to knowledg and experience Your discretion therein I must tell you takes Me much uh uh hu very much uh hu hu Give me a stick of liquorish uh hu uh hu When you have seen my five imperfections Gar. I believe one may see the Devil with less horrour Streg And like me then I sha'n't be hard hearted Ric. I long for tryal like a teeming Wench In an Orchard Your imperfections will at Worst appear like foyles to set off The luster of your soul. Streg You speak bravely and I hope will like me I 'le give you this encouragement above my Other Suitors I like you Gar. Better than Heaven by the haste you make there Streg And as a secret in your ear I am better Worth than twenty thousand Crowns per annum Besides some Bags in a Corner Ric. I value your self only and hope Gar. She 'l dye and make you her sole Executor Streg Sanco fetch my dressing Table and Boxes Gar. Sure she meanes to lay her Carcass out in Parcels and dispose her Limbs in Legacies Or having boxed them severally indorse Them to her loving Kinsmen thrice Removed But her implyments are come Ric. Prithee leave fooling and observe Gar. How she 's set together as if she mov'd By Wires or Clockworks Streg How do you like me now She pulls off her Eye-brows Ric. How shou'd I like you less for want of Such an idle excrement Streg Put them in their right Box Sanco Sanc. I 'le case them most exactly Gar. And send them to France for a Pattern That the Mode may pass into England Streg Giv me your opinion now Pulls out an Eye Ric. VVhere the soul has such a subtile knowledg To discern there needs no corporal light Gar. Now wou'd she look like the figure of Homer scanning of Verses if her Beard VVere but half so venerable Streg VVhere 's my Eye-Box Sanco Gar 'T is but a blind Eye that cannot Hit its own Box how dost like her Ric. As I wou'd like a Treasure on a Dunghill I endure the stench o' th' one for the lucre Of the other pulls out her Teeth Streg Now view my third imperfection Gar. She 'll be sure to kiss soft and thou May'st venter thy Fingers in her Mouth Safely Streg This is my fourth consider 't well pulls off her hair Ric. This will never be seen in a Night-gear Besides 't is a charitable age we frequently Borrow hair of one another Gar. But art in earnest ha Ric. She 's sufficiently ugly but still I pray with The Man that was carried away by the Devil God bless us from worse Gar. On my Conscience he 'l go through stitch And learn by her face to Picture deformity Ric. Now for her last Gar. VVhich he expects with as much curiosity As a