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A35042 A defense against the dread of death, or, Zach. Crofton's meditations and soliloquies concerning the stroak of death sounded in his ears in the time of his close imprisonment in the Tower of London, anno 1661 and 1662 : digested for his own private staisfaction and support in the vale of the shadow of death, and now made publique for the advantage of such as abide under Gods present visitation in London by the pestilence. Crofton, Zachary, 1625 or 6-1672. 1665 (1665) Wing C6992; ESTC R24795 57,690 178

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which have all my days stung my soul and battered my body My soul take courage unto this last encounter herein my willingness to dye is the victory my fall is the fullest conquest that I ever did or can make be herein the more couragious considering Death is though an enemy yet a conquered and disarmed enemy Christ that Captain of my salvation hath tryed the strength of death and subdued it he by dying did overcome death and him who had the power of death viz. the Devil herein Satan was out shot in his own Bow and caught in his own snare what gained the Philistines by bringing forth Sampson to make them sport and to be insulted over in the house of Dagon but their own destruction the very same hath death and the Devil gotten by bringing the Lord of life to dye on the Cross and to the Grave which could not hold him these by getting have lost the victory O blessed Paradox by this my faith and my soul can out-face out-brave death whilst my nature and my body doth dread the assaults and stroak thereof Death struck the Lord of life with its sting and lost its sting by striking him and in him all that are his do ever since insult over death with an O death 1 Cor. 15.55 where is thy sting O grave where is thy victory Since this foil death is befooled of its conquest over them whom it most insultingly strikes with success and cutteth down with power for it prevailing looseth its design The design of Death is to seal man under indelible guilt to set him under the curse of the Law and at everlasting distance from the Lord vers 56.58 The sting of Death is Sin the strength of Sin is the Law but thanks be unto God who hath given us the victory through Jesus Christ our Lord for hereby death doth to all that are in Christ Jesus effect what is directly contrary to its design it dischargeth that guilt under which they greived all their days and releaseth them from those curses of the Law by which they were chastened in this life and it transmitteth their souls unto the immediate and eternal enjoyment of God and Christ and although it holdeth the body for some time yet it divideth it not from Christ to whom it is inseperably united and by whom it shall be raised up to be reunited to the soul and perfectly possess God for ever My Soul why art thou afraid of a Bee which hath lost its sting why dost thou dread an enemy vanquished to thy hand and sprawling at thy feet Hath David kill'd Goliah and shall not trembling affrighted Israel up and pursue the Philistines hath the Lord Christ gotten and given me the victory over death by discharging thy guilt and bearing the punishment thereof in his own body unto the satisfaction of the Law and wilt thou fear to encounter the fiercest assaults thereof What shall a conquered enemy disanimate the Conqueror My Soul in the world thou hast tribulation in death thou hast terror but be of good comfort thou art now engaged in the last encounter with both and the Lord Jesus hath overcome the world and conquered death Triumph in death for thou shalt by dying be made triumphant over Death the World and the Devil Thy warfare is now accomplished let me now in my last act play the man and shew the valour of my Faith and Patience unto the due restraint of my now provoked fear and passions Then this shall be the matter of mine eternal happiness and honour that I have warred a good warfare I have fought a good fight I have kept the Faith SECT V. DEath is a curse The cursed nature of death is changed the punishment of mans sin the expression of Gods wrath and the execution of the Law and dreadful sentence pronounced against man It is so in its nature and of it self But it is not such to all that are thereto subjected the voyce from heaven hath proclaimed them Blessed Rev. 14.13 who dye in the Lord and hath rendred two reasons of the blessed state of their death First they rest from their labour they then reap no punishment Heb. 4.10 but are indeed blessed for he that is entred into his rest ceaseth from his own works of sin and sorrow as God ceased from his Secondly Their works follow them unto their acceptance with and recompence from the Lord. The nature of death is changed to such who are in Christ Death to Christs friends is a sleep and to such who die for Christ the friends of Christ do not dye but sleep Job 7.21 I account sleep a special blessing of God for the refreshment of nature my sleep is the image the similitude of death Death is the truest the onely sleep of a true Beleiver when I sleep I am as dead and when I dye I shall but sleep I shall indeed sleep longer in my grave then in my bed but I am sure I shall sleep more quietly without affrighting fancies or disturbing dreams and I shall at length awake and arise when my weary day is ended how willing am I to lye down and sleep My Soul art thou not willing thy weary body should have rest to dye is to a Saint no more then to undress and go to bed to lie down and sleep Joh. 11.11 Let what will become of Dives our friend Lazarus sleepeth The righteous when they dye are taken from evil to come Isa 57.1 2 and 26.20 death is their defence from danger distress and dread their grave is Gods pavilion and receptacle into which they his jewels are gathered Mal. 3.17 lest they should be left in the commotions of the world in which they his trusty friends and confederates are secured from the storm and blast of the terrible ones raised up by the Lord to shake terribly the earth my Soul what though the Chambers of death be dark wilt thou deem it a curse to be gathered into them by Gods special grace that thou mayst not feel hear or see the evil which his wrath and vengeance is about to bring on the places of thy present abode The just by death enter into peace when the whole world is full of Wars they rest in their beds when the house is all in an hurly burly and unquiet tumult Death is the Saints cessation from labour and travel their security from lamentation and trouble their estate of quiet and ease and their entrance into rest and glory The very wicked who with Balaam are ready to curse them whilst they live would gladly share lots with them in their death The worst of men are so apprehensive and affected that their latter end shall be exceedingly good that they cannot but wish to dye the death of the righteous Death is indeed a curse to sinners but the course of nature unto Saints The direful executioner of Gods wrath and law to all who die in their sin
DEFENCE Against the Dread of Death OR ZACH. CROFTON'S Meditations and Soliloquies concerning the stroak of death sounded in his ears in the time 〈◊〉 his close Imprisonment in the Tow● of London Anno. 1661 and 166● Digested for his own private satisfaction and support in the vale of the shadow of death AND NOW Made publique for the advantage of such as abide under Gods present Visitation in London by the Pestilence Printed in the Year 1●●● To the serious dying Christian Reader Especially those in and about London subjected to Gods visitation by the present Pestilence and under a daily exspectation of an arrest by death Christian and beloved Friends WHat was lately mine is now become your sad estate viz. the dreadful expectation of deaths stroak in the multitude of my thoughts within me the consolations of God did refresh and revive my soul the kind of death which threatned me is different from what impendeth you but the object of dread was to me and you the same viz Death and the same apprehensions of its nature which did affect me must affect you with fear and hope the ensuing meditations ministred a check to my passions and comfort to my spirit by these I perswaded my soul to be willing and contented though not desirous to part from my body and to let me cheerfully lye down and dye these were digested on my personal account for my private support and encouragement under the fears of death they having done their work were by me condemned to death at least to present darkness but are now by your sad condition animated and restored and the publication thereof is extorted by the importunity of some special friends who had formerly seen and perused them and in an affectionate sence of your sad condition subjected to the terrors of night the Arrow which flyeth by day the Pestilence which walketh in darkness and the destruction which wasteth at noon-day calling more loudly for Antidotes to the sting then to the stroak of death have restlesly sollicited these papers to be put into your hands The dread of death is as common as natural to man as is the stroak thereof it never appeared with its pale face to any subject of ●●●ht reason or true religion but with a terrifying aspect the Heathen accounted it of terrible things the most terrible they could no way render it comfortable but by representing it the sum the completion and so the period of evil and misery Cold comfort The Scripture calleth it the King of terrors which of Gods Saints have not feared to dye David was beset with the terrors of death Paul could not desire to be unclothed The onely begotten Son of God had his soul heavy unto death and in a fearful agony deprecated the stroak thereof the Saints never cursed the day of their birth and cryed out for their death but in the extremity of their perplexity and in the prevalency of their passion evidenced by this very character men exempt from phrensie and not miraculously extraordinarily acted by a divine spirit as were the three Children and other Martyrs must be the subjects of stoical Apathie senseless stupidity strong delusions or a reprobate senc● if they fear not the stroak of death I envy not some who hav● I thought dyed too stoutly in su●h a cause their courage and con●●dence in out-facing death But this I must say to all Christianun agere is not hominem exucre Christians cease not to be men nor is it fit they should so do Bernard well noteth of Peter the Apostle Bernardi Tract de gratia Libero Arbitrio that his sin was not in the simple fear of death Mortem evadere voluit quid istud criminis fuit voluit mori inculpabilis est To be unwilling affraid to dye is lawfully humane and not blame-worthy in a Christian It is equally monstrous in nature and a judgement from the Lord not to fear to dye and not to mourn for the dead I must say with the holy Greenham They are as well to be liked who fear death as those who joy at it And I for my part fluctuating on the waves of violence and uncertainty in an evil age and world must say as this good man Greenh work p. ● Notwithstanding my many crosses which hinder the comfort of my life I do not I dare not desire to die Death is in its nature most terrifying to the soul yet it s dreadful circumstances and concomitants do ordinarily more affect the sence and provoke the passions Seneca placed the most dread in the Scaffold the Ax the attendance the spectators the executioners and march to execution that pompa mortis These were no meanly affecting circumstances to me in my expectation of a violent death to you the suddenness the solitariness the certainty of the stroak by an inevitable noisom contagion may appear most grievous He who dieth in due course of nature meeteth with dread in death but he that dieth by some special kind of death as by sword or pestilence hath his dread aggravated and more eminently needeth the defence of a lively faith to repel the terrors of a lively sence which can and must be the result of a rational and Christian apprehension of deaths changed nature and quality with the sequels thereof through Christ the Lord of life these will alleviate the burden abate the strength abstract the sting and alter the countenance of death of any kind of death Familiarity breedeth contempt and casteth out fear the Fox by frequency playeth boldly with the lion We read of an Hungarian Prince who affected his youthful brother rebuked his daily meditations of death with an unexpected summons to execution Men little think of dying therefore are the terrors of death so stinging Plato perswading to thoughts of death 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 defined true Philosophy to be a meditation of death Certain it is that they who will truly Christianize must be much in consideration of death and careful to dye well When men are every moment obnoxious to the sudden and certain stroaks of death it is time if ever they will be wise to labour to represent death lovely to their souls funeral Sermons ●ound best in the ears spectacles of mortality is the most pleasing sight and meditations of death the most delighting study not only to the mortified Christian but also to the dying man Croesus the rich King of Lydia when captivated stript and tyed alive to the stake which must make his funeral pile could affectionately cry out O Solon Solon and preach to Cyrus his Conqueror Solons Dictates of Mortality which in his prosperity he had despised And Seneca declining in Neroes favour and drawing nigh to his violent death did best discern and most clearly declare that mans felicity was after death The prophane men which in health neglect and despise Gods Ministers and cannot endure to hear of death or Jesus Christ can on a sick bed send for them gladly hear
be dirty and dreadful tedious and tiresome shall I draw back or not drive after so many so good such excellent men as are gone before me Levius communia tangunt say men by nature how easie is a common yoke whilst then mine is the common state of men and good men abate thy fears advance thy courage follow with chearfulness and content Let the motto of the happy unhappy Lady Jane Gray give check to the admiring censures of the spectators of my death Non aliena putes homini qua obtingere possunt Sors hodierna mihi tunc erit illa sibi I tread no untroden tract I am not the first I shall not be the last that dye I go the way that many most and best have gone before me and others must daily and hourly follow after me whatsoever is my chance death is the condition common to men and the grave doth know no difference between them who run out the course of nature and those who are cut off by violence One dieth in his full strength Job 21.23 24 25 26. being wholly at ease and quiet his breasts are ful of milk and his bones are moistned with marrow another dieth in the bitterness of his soul and never eateth with pleasure these both lye down alike in the dust and the worm shall cover them without any difference or distinction Let me dye which way God hath determined by sickness or by sword in my bed or on a publique stage in old age or in the prime of my days in course of nature or by the hands of violence I can but dye and dye I must for I am a man and death is common certain and natural unto man SECT III. DEath this common state My death is decreed by God with all its circumstances is determined by the Lord whatsoever doth relate unto this condition is concluded in the councels of the most high these no man can alter or avoid God is of soveraign power his purposes must and shall prevail against all powers whatsoever what is by him decreed must stand most certainly to come to pass My time is then in the hands of the Lord he will preserve me from the force of any disease and fury of the oppressor until the date by him determined be expired my time is appointed on the earth Job 14.5 my days are determined the number of my moneths are with the Almighty he hath set the bounds thereof These I cannot I must not expect to pass nor can the distempers of nature most violent diseases or the fury malice or power of men break in upon them to anticipate their course or accelerate their period I cannot I shall not be cut down before the time nor any other way then that God hath decreed shall not I be willing to go when and how God will have me go The decrees of Heaven are unalterable and unavoidable it is mans duty to submit to them without demur or debate Shall I can I profess a filial relation to God and obedience to the will of him my Father and not resign up my self my time and my life to be disposed by God is a reluctancy in this case competible with my prayer thy will be done or consistent with that my resolved supplication in this very case not my will but thy will be done men are but like diseases executioners of Gods decree upon me they have against me no power but what is given them from above though therefore I am loath to leave my cottage and present sensible comforts shall I dare to resist or refuse chearfully to yeild unto and resign them at the pleasure of mine absolute Lord and Soveraign by which alone I hold them Consider Oh my soul it is the Lord more righteous then to do me wrong more gracious then to do me hurt who doth dispose my time and state Let him do what seemeth good unto him There is a season to every thing under the Sun Eccles 3.1 11. there is a time to every purpose un-the Heaven Gods time is the set time to all things and the best time to the Sons of men every thing is beautiful in its time so shall death be to me when my time is come when mens work is done it is fit they go to bed lye down and sleep man goeth forth to his work and to his labour Ps 104.23 until the evening When Corn is ripe it must be cut done I shall not fall without Gods determinate counsel shall I dare can I desire to contradict that I shall not be cut down until I be ripe and my cutting down be seasonable can I wish to stand longer I have lived shall I not now be content to dye according to Gods determination SECT IV. THe assaults of Death are the assaults of an enemy Death is an enemy but conquered armed with power and irresistible This is very true but yet Death is the last enemy I must encounter and cannot be otherwise conquered then by my falling under its stroak my whole life hath been a militation and my death is but a military finishing of my course my willingness to dye mine encountring this King of terrors with a Christian faith with a calm quiet and composed Spirit can onely make my dying words trumpet with triumph 2 Tim. 4.7 I have fought a good fight I have finished my course I have all my life-time fought with Death as Sampson with the Philistines it often assaulteth me by hunger nakedness cold infant-weakness sickness natural diseases and the assaults of violence shall I think it strange to receive another onset and to take one turn more with my constant enemy Shall I fear by the power of grace to vanquish him whom I have by the strength of nature and help of art I many times resisted and repelled O my soul Sin my Dalilah hath deceived me and spoiled me of my natural strength I cannot now as formerly fight with and beat back this Philistine mine onely conquest of him is to fall before and with him when he hath divided my body from my soul he hath done his worst and will soon find a few such victories will waste his strength so that he shall not be able to keep the field to appear in the world or to assault the sons of men My soul consider thy present state compose thy self cry unto God for strength of faith that thou mayst by dying be at once revenged on thine enemy I shall when dead be for ever freed from that warfare with Satan Sin and the World which I have been constrained to wage all my life long I shall then no longer fight for my strength youth growth credit comforts and conscience all which I have all my time defended with much difficulty and great danger Death mine enemy shall then set me free from the Devils temptation the worlds enticements the outrage of men the arrows of the Almighty and the lustings of mine own flesh all
shall now lose the sent the grave shall be my burrough in it I shall be quiet I shall then be out of the reach of lust care trouble sorrow sickness temptation and persecution I shall now no more be heard to grieve or groan I will therefore be willing to cease to be that I may cease to be the subject of so bad so sinful qualities SECT XVI DEath will destroy my body Death destroyeth the body but not the soul be it so that is all it can do it hath nothing to do with my soul that remaineth immortal it shall be saved and set in Abrahams bosom ●n eternal happiness as soon as it is out of my body it shall be associated to the spirits of just men made perfect What need I care how it goeth with my worser whilst I have secured and it goeth so well with my better part my soul is an immortal being out of the reach of humane rage and the stroke of death What if men and death kill my body if God will not cast my soul into hell I escape well and much better then I deserve for sin had shipwracked me both soul and body I had forfeited both to divine Justice my soul being saved I live in death O blessed paradox oh happy state I not to dye in dying My body is but an earthen vessel I need not be much troubled if this be broken so that my heavenly treasure be secured and preserved my body is onely the cabinet I see no great cause to be troubled if that be lost whilst the jewel of my soul is safe Paul might well call on the Marriners to be of good chear in the tempest which tare their tackling and sunk their ship being able to assure them Acts 27. no mans life should be lost but the ship onely I travel with my soul through briars and thorns shall I wonder that I am pricked and that my cloaths are rent off me My soul is of such value that all is to be adventured and thrown over-board for its salvation What shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his own soul Matth 16.26 my body is dear to me I will do what I can to preserve it but my soul is much dearer this must be defended by exposing my body to danger and destruction skin for skin riches honours pleasures peace all my natural comforts and outward blessings I would give for my life but these and life and all will I give for my soul 1 Pet. 1.18 My soul is redeemed not with corruptible things as silver and gold but with the precious blood of Jesus Christ Christ laid down his life to redeem my soul and shall not I willingly lay down my life to keep my redeemed soul O thou the Shepherd and Bishop of my soul keep it within thy sheepfold untill thou shalt lead it unto thy glory I will not then be solicitous what may befall or become of my body seeing I am under a necessity of suffering loss I will rejoyce that my loss is not greater such as might have undone me for ever welcome death to my body temporal death which consisteth with the life and immortality of my soul and passeth it into the fruition of eternal life my soul may be saved by and under the loss of my body but my body could not be saved if my soul were lost Oh strange Oh blessed trade the loss I am like to sustain is mine infinite gain this loss of my body shall save my soul for in the cause of Christ and his Church he who would save his life must lose it Mat. 16.25 SECT XVII DEath will seperate my soul from my body Death seperateth soul and body but not me and God it will so but it cannot seperate me from God and that was the design of death it cannot seperate either the one or the other from the love of God in Christ Jesus I am perswaded neither life nor death nor Angels nor principalities nor powers nor things present Rom. 8.38 39. nor things to come nor any other creature shall be able to seperate us from the love of God which is in Chrict Jesus our Lord shall not this inseperable love to me meet with an answerable return of love from me and make me with confidence and resolution conclude tribulation nor distress nor persecution nor famine nor nakedness nor peril nor sword shall not seperate Christ from me as it is written for thy sake are we killed all the day long and accounted as sheep to the slaughter love is a principle of union it cleaveth to and looketh after its object in its most low estate and lost condition Death shall not make me to be despised or forsaken by my God This God is my God Psa 48.14 my God for ever and ever and he will be my guide unto death yea in and through the vail of the shadow of death his rod and his staff shall comfort me and 23.4 the Lord his esteem of and relation to my soul and body abideth as well and as much though not by the same acts and expressions of affection now they are seperated from as whilst they were united each unto other God doth triumphantly observe the faith and patience by which I endure the tearing of them each from other for the testimony of his truth he doth dispatch his Angels to attend my death and to conveigh my soul into Abrahams bosome to the immediate enjoyment of himself nor doth he disregard my body when divided from my soul or disesteem the dust thereof he causeth it to be mourned over by my friends and natural relations and to be buried with the greatest solemnity poor they can observe yea he loveth it and looketh on it as united to Christ though laid in the grave or dispersed on the earth all my members are written in Gods book Ps 139.16 not one of them must be lost or miscarrie they shall not be neglected my dust is precious in Gods sight not a grain of it shall be lost after it is sown in the earth it shall most certainly spring up as precious seed watered with the dew of heaven the word of the Lord to Zion and all her sons doth assure them and me that her dead men shall live together with his dead body they shall arise awake and sing ye that dwell in the dust Isa 26.19 for thy dew is as the dew of herbs and the earth shall cast out the dead My body remaineth Gods Jewel when it hath lost that lustre the soul did give it God locketh it up in the grave as in his cabinet God well knoweth my body is liable to danger in the day of his wrath against the inhabitants of the earth the grave is the receptacle from distress whereinto he doth gather it know my soul and body you when divided do abide objects of Gods compassion complacency and care enter into your chambers
though dark quietly shut your doors about you the wise God is willing to hide you for a little moment until his indignation be past My soul and body are dear companions it is not strange to see these two parted with dread and greif and yet nearest relations dearest friends must shake parting hands each with other in this world brethren that have lived long together and love most dearly must leave each others company at their Fathers pleasure and for their future good this is my case in death my soul be contented take chearful leave of thy body thou art returning to the father of spirits My body consent willingly to shake hands and shut out thy soul thou must for a time be shut up by God from falling under those desperate dangers and deep distresses which are more dreadful and intollerable then is death it self The design of death in dividing my soul from my body was to divide both from God but this is impossible for union with Christ and with God in him is inseperable no case will make them cast me off no condition can cut me off from them whom they love once they love to the end forever Joh. 13.1 Christs union is with me my self my whole self the whole not any single part of man no part of me can therefore be by the power of death dismembred from him death may militate against Christs body it may rend and mangle his members but it cannot destroy his body his mystical body it cannot divide any his members nor any part of his members from him death shall ere it be long by the sound of the last triumphant trumpet at the glorious and general resurrection know and prove that the union between Christ and the bodies of his people is as real as inseperable as the union between him and their souls Christ will not lose any part of his purchase he paid a price for man for whole man for our bodies and for our souls both are his all enemies that interrupt the union that intercept the communion which is between Christ and his members must be destroyed and the last enemy to be subdued is death when the Grave the Sea and Hell shall give up the dead bodies which are in them as in repositories for a time I shall then find the design of death in dividing my soul from my body is failed disappointed and become frustrate it never could divide either of them from God my Father or from Jesus Christ my Redeemer nor shall it be able long to keep these parts of me asunder and at distance each from other for my union with God and Christ doth necessitate and will most powerfully irresistably effect the re-union of my soul and body at the resurrection that I whole I my self out only part of my self may enjoy them for ever Let my God and my Saviour do with me what they please so they will but please to be with me in life and in death whilst I am and with my divided parts when I am not I will then perswade prevail with my self contentedly to enjoy them in my divided parts until the time return that my parts reunied my whole self may be placed in an inseperable possession of them in perfect glory world without end SECT XVIII VVHen I am dead my body will be covered with worms Worms will eat me when dead but conscience will not bite me and will feed upon me but it is no matter I shall not see their scrawling I shall not feel their gnawing of my flesh and if I did yet that is nothing whilst my soul shall escape the gnawings of an accusing conscience that worm which never dieth there is more mercy in being freed from this one worm then from many thousands of those silly weak dying wormes Why should it trouble me to become the companion of wormes must not I say unto the worm thou art my Mother Job 17.14 and my Sister what am I my self but a worm a weak creeping worm Psa 22.6 David did apprehend himself a worm a King and yet a worm and Bildad Jobs friend noteth of man in general Job 25.6 that he is a worm whilst I then am my self but a worm let the worms feed sweetly upon their fellow when I am dead I can do man no good why should I not be glad any creatures can fare the better for my death the wormes cannot cover me from the sight of God they may crawl upon my body but it is not thereby made loathsom to the Lord. They may devour my flesh but the worm which never dieth shall not distress my soul I will not therefore appear so weak as to afflict my self with the apprehensions of the power and prevalency of those silly creatures to which I must be subject but of which I shall not be sensible SECT XIX IN Death I shall see corruption In death I shall corrupt but rise again my body will corrupt be covered with dishonour consume away to dust moulder away to nothing this I cannot deny for it was peculiar to the holy one the Lord Christ and to him onely to dye and not to see corruption but yet I do beleive the resurrection of my body God can preserve my dust and make my dead bones to live my body is united unto Christ death cannot destroy that union my body united to Christ shall by the power of his resurrection be most certainly raised up at the last day that I may sit with him in heavenly places God is the God of Abraham Isaac Mat. 22.32 and Jacob he is the God of the living and not of the dead though therefore the bodies of Abraham Isaac and Jacob be dead and buried and have seen corruption and be dissolved into nothing yet they shall live again they retain in the grave an animating principle which will produce its effect they shall be raised up and exist in their individual specifical persons and subsistencies this was the Lords Argument to convince the Sadduces of the resurrection of the body this priviledge was not peculiar to those Patriarchs for I also beleive that my redeemer liveth and that he shall at the latter day stand upon the earth Job 19.25 26 27. and though after this skin wormes destroy my body yet in my flesh I shall see God him I shall see for my self whom mine eyes shall behold and not anothers though my reins be consumed within me My present life doth witness the first Adam to be a living soul my resurrection from death and the grave must witness the second Adam to be a quickening spirit My body is part of my self it must not it cannot be lost its seperation from my soul maketh me cease to be this seperation continued would continue me a nonentity for ever my self is redeemed and related to the Lord and my soul or my body is related to him but as parts of my self these divided must be reunited that my self