dost threaten I may eschape by fearinge thee 12. And giue mee agayne the ioye of thy saluation that those things which thou dost promise I may receiue by louinge thee 13. O Lord my strenth my force my God my Refuge and my deliuerer instruct mee what I ought to thinke and conceiue of thee 14. Teach mee with what words I am to call vpon thee 15. Make knowne vnto mee which way I maye please thee 16. One thinge doubtlesse I know with which thou art appeased and another which thou dost not dispise Verilie a penitent spirit is to thee A sacrifice acceptable soe likewise a hart that is contrite and humble 17. With these guifts ô my God my Ayde doe thou enrichmee 18. Barricade mee with these Bulwarkes against myne enemyes 19. Graunt mee this refreshinge against the flames of my vicious inclinations 20. Sett open this pious place of Refuge to which I maye flye from the Tumults of myne inordinate Affections Amen THE XVII EXERCISE 1. GRAVNT ô Lord that I be not of the number of those who for a tyme beleiue and in tyme of Temptation doe depart and leaue thee 2. Couer my head in the day of Battaile thou ô Lord who art my hope in the day of Affliction and my safeguard in the tyme of Tribulation 3. Behold ô Lord my light and my life I haue asked those things which I wanâ— I haue made knowne those things which I feare my conscience neuerthelesse tormenteth mee the secrets of my hart doe reprehénd mee 4. And what loue affordeth feare disperseth zeale encourageth mee dread daunteth mee 5. Myne Actions cause mee to feare but thy pittie giueth mee cause of Hope 6. Thy Mercie emboldneth mee my naughtinesse with holdeth mee 7. And to speake the truth their occurre to my memorie many sinnefull imaginations which reprehend the boldnesse of my presuminge Affections 8. Hee therefore who deserueth anger with what face can hee demand fauour 9. Hee who meriteth to be punished how can hee be soe foole hardie as to aske to be rewarded 10. He incenseth the iudge who neglecteth to make satisfaction for his offence and yet maketh meanes to obtayne a Recompence 11. That malefactor mocketh and derideth His Kinge and Lord who earnestly requireth the Prise and honour which hee neuer deserued 12. That foolish sonne likewise prouoketh to anger the sweete Affection of his Father who vppon reproaches offered without repentance dare vsurpe and lay title to his inheritance 13. What is this ô father that I recompt of my selfe I haue deserued death yet begge for life 14. I haue moued my Kinge to anger whose aid notwithstandinge I impudentlye implore 15. I haue dispised my Iudge whom boldlye I begge to be my helper 16. I haue insolentlye refused to heare him as a father whom now I presume to choose as my defender 17. Woe is mee for not cominge soe soone as I ought Alas alas how little hast doe I make 18. I neglected to beware of the weapons which wounded mee behore hand and now I am troubled through the apprehension of Death at hand This is continued in the followinge Exercise THE XVIII EXERCISE 1. I Haue made my former â—carrs to fester with new soares since I haue renewed my former faultes by new iniquities 2. And those which the deuine salue had made sound my phreneticall itchinge hath agayne vnbound 3. The skinne which beinge growne ouer my wounds had hidden my maladie by reason of corruption breakinge forth hath growne to purifie because myne iniquitie beinge reiterated hath bereaued mee of mercie which before was granted 4. For that I know it is written in what howre soeuer a iust Man shall sinne all his good deeds shall be forgotten 5. If the righteousnesse of a good man is abolished when hee falleth into sinne 6. By how much more is the pennance of a sinner defaced if hee returne to the same 7. How often like a dogge haue I returned to that which I had vomited vp before 8. And as a sowe haue wallowed agayne in the mire 9. I confesse that it is impossible for mee to remember how many simple and ignorant persons through my meanes haue sinned 10. How many that were desirous to cease from sinne haue I perswaded to sinne 11. How many that haue withstood mee haue I constrayned 12. To how many that were willinge haue I consented 13. To how many walkinge in the right waye haue I prepared a ginne or snare 14. To how many that haue sought the right way haue I vncouered the pitt that they might fall in 15. And that I might not be frightned with committinge still the like I easilie put those past out of my mind 16. But thou in the meane while beinge a iust Iudge hast obserued and recorded and doth obserue and record all myne offences and hast numbred all my footesteps 17. Thou hast all this while held thy peace thou hast beene silent thou hast beene patient 10. Wooe is mee for that thou wilt speake at lenth as a weoman in her Trauayle This Exercise is continued THE XIX EXERCISE 1. I Dâ—â—re not ô my Lord God presume on my owne meritts yea I am affraide and tremble to present my selfe before thee 2. For my Soule and Bodie are spotted and blemished with many sinns and defects and I haue beene negligent â—â— thought and word 3. To thee therefore ô mercifull God deare Sauuiour I wretched sinner beinge in these streights recurre as vnto the fountaine of Mercie and pittie â— flie vnto thee for Saluation 4. And to thee ô Lord I laye open my wounds and soares to thee I discouer my infirmities of which I am ashamed 5. I know my sinns to be many and greate for which I stand in feare 6. I hope in thy Mercies which are without end 7. Lord Iesus-Christ eternall Kinge God and Man looke vppon mee with the eyes of thy Mercie 8. Harken vnto mee puttinge my trust in thee haue pittie on mee that am full of miseries and sinns thou ô Lord who neuer restreignest the flowinge of the fountaine of thy Mercie 9. I am hartilye sorrie that euer I haue offended thee I desire to amend for the tyme to come 10. Doe away therefore from mee ô most mercifull father all my sinns and iniquities that soe beinge purifyed and cleansed in soule and Bodie I may be able worthilye to serue thee and blissedly to be vnited vnto thee 11. Let my soule thirst alwayes after thee the source of wisedome and knowledge the fountaine of eternall life and sunne of eternall light the Riuer of Pleasure the Plentifulnesse of the Howse of God 12. Lett it alwayes earnestly aspire after thee seeke thee and find thee deseruinge such ingratitude at my hands 6. I much desire that I were more sorrie that my hart might breake for any one of the offences which I haue committed against thy deuine Maiestie 7. How great reason is there that I should melt into teares for the least of them 8. For I haue little
come it naturallye or by any chance or accident 8. To loose my life by suddayne death or else by longe sicknesse as it shal please God 9. To receiue harme in my Imagination whereby I may haue my braines crackt or become a very foole or madd man And to be content with all this if God permitt the case to befall mee 10. That my Body putrifie and corrupt slowly and with lenth of tyme and that others obserue and take notice of such putrifyinge and in their natures abhorre it and mee for itt 11. To endure and suffer the Agonye of Death and the vnwillingnesse and horrour that nature hath in the separation of the soule from the Bodye Iâ— is continued THE III. EXERCISE 1. I am resigned to dye a natural death or otherwise a violent and paynefull death procured by others which of them may best please thee my Lord. 2. To dye when where and in what manner it shall best please God and that without the helpe of any of the Sacraments if I cannot come by them 3. Beinge dead to want not only honorable but euen Christian Burial And my Body to be a prey and food to beasts and fowles as hath beene and often is the case of Martyrs 4. In the Agonye of death to endure such terrours Afflictions temptations as the diuel doth then vsuallye rayse and procure or my deare God permitt Heere follow Resignations about externall Goods 5. To be depriued of the Cloths I haue or may haue be they neuer soe necessarie for mee The like for good bookes conuenient lodginges and to haue these things bestowed vppon one whom in my nature I am most auerted from 6. To be driuen to weare cloths that seeme base or insufficient or vnfitt for the bodyâ— as ouer heauy ouerhott for the summer or ouer thynne and light for the cold winter or else cloths that are of hayre rugged and paynefull to the Bodye 7. To be streitned or otherwise ilaccomodated for chamber or lodginge hard beddinge to want necessaries in my lodginge and beddinge 8. To want necessarie cloths soe as to be brought to that pouertie that I am not onlye barely and basely clothed but hardlye able to couer my nakednesse whereby I maye be wonderfully contemned and dispised by others 9. To be turned out of doores and to be depriued of all certayne and proper place of Habitation and thrust into the wide world and soe entirely left to such destinye as God shall permitt to fall vppon mee 10. To haue all the temporal goods whereof I haue the proprietie or vse taken from mee and to be left as poore naked and desolate as euer Iob was or any man or weoman can be 11. To endure the Crosses that in any sort spirituall or corporal maye fall vppon my friends or kindred or vppon those who in my nature I most affect as to endure their deaths imprisonments dishonors losse of their lands or goods their extreame pouertie or whatsoeuer else may happen vnto them 12. And on the other side to forbeare and restreigne my selfe from all inordinate ioye and complacence that I may take in their prosperities 13. I am resigned alsoe and hope to be well content that my friends and kindred louers and well wishers doe alienate and withdraw their affections from mee doe forgett and neglect mee yea and come to be auerted from mee and to conceiue and speake euill of mee and doe mee euill offices yet soe as I committ noe sinne or giue noe iust occasion of such auersion from mee 14. And further I resigne my selfe to be left and forsaken of all creatures in the world soe that I haue noe Man or any thinge to cleaue vnto saue thee only my Iesus who will aboundantly suffice mee 15. I am resigned and indifferent in what place and in what companie I liue and in particular to liue with them from whom my nature is most auerted and to liue with strangers aswell as with my familiars 16. And to liue with them with whom and from whom I shall find and receiue most contradictions discurtesies and hard vsages if it shall be the blessed will and pleasure of thee my Lord to allot or ordayne mee to liue in such companye 17. I am resigned to abide in this life in all sorts of Afflictions for soe longe tyme as it shall please God though it were to the end of the world 18. And not to yeild to the Motion or inclination of my nature that would perhaps out of wearisomnesse fayne haue life at an end But in this I wholy submitt my will to the will of God Amen Heere follow Resignations about good name Honour and Estimation THE IV. EXERCISE 1. I Am resigned not only not to be beloued or well thought of by Superiors Bretheren sisters or others but euen hated and euil thought of by them Yet wil I take heed through Gods Grace not by any sinne to giue iust Occasion of such hatred or euil opinion of mee 2. And I am resigned that all others yea myne enemyes be in greater Grace fauour loue and good opinion with superiors and all others then I am 3. To vndergoe all manner of disgraces Reproaches slaunders infamyes Dishonors Taunts contempts neglects scoffs backbitings and iniuries in my fame And to endure all these be they done to my face or behind my Back whither I haue iust occasion for them or noe and I am sorrie for the sinne soe farre as there was a sinne in it and I am glad of the occasion growne by it of my Resignation and Mortification 4. And whither they be done mee by my Superiors or betters or by myne equalls or els by such as in the condition of the world are inferior to mee 5. And whither they be done by such as I esteemed my friends and of whom I had better deserued or by any professed foes or as such behaue themselues towards mee though I esteeme them to be in charity with mee and all the world 6. I am resigned that my life or manner of my death be execrable odious and hatefull to others and beinge dead to be euil thought of and euil spoken of by others and to haue noe man that will uouchsafe to pray for mee beinge dead but to be either cleane forgotten or to haue an ill memorie and esteeme 7. Yea thought by all the world to haue dyed out of the state of Saluation and soe damned for euer Yea moreouer to haue it soe sett downe and expressed in a printed booke or Cronicle not only to my owne euerlastinge shame but to the shame and confusion of my kindred and familye 8. And finally in this life to be held for the scumme and outcast of all the race of Mankind and forsaken by All both as to their doings and to their Affections towards mee 9. In sicknesse and other occasions and necessities to be chargeable and troublesome to others and my selfe to be profitable to none at all nor in any sort to be
soule and Bodye what and in what maner and for soe longe tyme as shall be pleasinge to God and as it shall be his deuine pleasure to lay vppon mee to be done or suffered by mee 4. For the loue of my God I resigne and renounce all maner of inordinate loue towards my selfe and towards all other Creatures 5. Euen now and euer I doe renounce all inordinate Affection that I beare to the personall company or societie of any Persons or to correspondence with them by letters tokens or messages And I am contented to be depriued for euer of their company and all manner of correspondence with them 6. And I will auoid such companie and correspondence soe farre as by the will of God I may where I doe or shall find it to be an occasion of fallinge into sinns or imperfections 7. And when I cannot auoid the company I will with Gods assistance be more warie and carefull in my conuersation with such persons And I doe resigne my selfe and hartilye desire to be depriued of such company 8. For the loue of God I doe resigne and yeild vpp all seekinge to gett the Loues or good wills of others towards my selfe and all sollicitous seekinge to please them further or otherwise then shall be for God-sake 9. And I will be contented that they whose loue in my nature I most looke after shall noe iust cause giuen for it by mee withdraw all their Affections from mee yea Hate mee speake ill of mee and doe mee all maner of euill Offices 10. For the loue of God I doe renounce all maner of curiosities in dressinge of my selfe and all desire that other should affect or esteeme mee for my exterior Habit corporall array or dressinge or for my personall visage feature comelynesse Grace Beautye or stature or any other Qualitie Artificial or naturall that is in mee or generally for any guift or Talent that I haue I say I doe renounce all proprietie in them all affection to them And would if it soe pleased God for my mortification be depriued of them 11. And haue them bestowed vpon some other Man whom in my nature I doe least affect and most detest It is continued THE VIII EXERCISE 1. AND as for such guifts Graces and Talents as thou ô my God wilt haue still to abide in mee I desire and intend that they may be employed and made vse of meerely and purely for thy Honour and Glorie and not for any Honour or other end of myne owne And therefore I wholy resigne and giue them vp as to any affection I retayne to them to thee my God from whom all good things doe proceed and to thee and thy seruice only doe they belonge 2. Likewise in particular I doe renounce all complacence loue and likinge to elegancie and Acutenesse of witt eloquence of tounge and abilitie to expresse my mind perfectlye by words or by letters or other writinge All Humour Abilitye or facilitye to Iest recreate or delight others All affection I say to those talents or qualities soe farre as I haue any of them in mee I doe for the loue of God resigne relinquish and abandon 3. In particular likewise for the louer of God I doe freely renounce all complacence and loue that I haue in the knowledge or skill of any particular art either of readinge writinge speakinge enditinge and generally all skill and knowledge of any art or science whatsoeuer And alsoe all desire to be esteemed for nobilitie Gentrie and gteate alliance All things in a word that are not for God and in God with the loue and Affection to them I doe for the present and future reiect and cast awaye 4. For the loue of God I doe freely renonnce all maner of affection to the occasions of sinns or imperfections soe that willingly I would vtterlye flye from them be they of what kind they will And will endeauour to auoid all such occasions as farre as well I maye and what I cannot such beinge the necessitie of our liues that wee cannot auoid all maner of occasions I will with the Grace of God be as warie in them as my frailtie will permitt mee and withdraw my selfe from those occasions soe soone as well I maye 5. I doe for the loue of God renounce all proprietie I haue or may haue in any Kind of Office Dignitie or imployment And am and will be euer readye to resigne and yeild itt vp when it shall please God and in the meane tyme shall hold my selfe in itt out of Obedience to God and for his seruice and not for myne owne turne Honour or interest 6. For the Loue of God I doe renounce all manner of proprietye to spirituall Exercises be they neuer soe pleasinge to mee soe that there is or shall be noe Exercise soe sweete or pleasinge which I would not giue ouer if I knew it were Gods will that I should doe itt 7. Neither is there any Kind of Exercise soe vngratefull or paynefull to my nature but I would embrace it If I knew or thought itt to be Gods will that I should or otherwise could find it to be profitable to mee 8. In the meane tyme I will for the loue of God serue him in such kind of Exercises as my poore knowledge shall informe mee to be most for his Honour and seruice and my owne soules good 9. I resigne my selfe to vndergoe all manner of temptations be they corporall or spirituall as Blasphemies dispaire or any other manner of Temptation wherewith it would please God to exercise and proue mee and will abide in them as longe as hee shall please that they continue be it for neuer soe many yeares yea though it were for my whole life tyme. 10. And I purpose with the Aid of his Grace not to be carried by any of of those temptations to offend his Maiestie But euer to adhere and abide faithfull to him It is continued THE IX EXERCISE 1. AND if I should happen vppon any of these temptations to fall or proue defectiue as who is not fraile I will notwithstande by the Grace of God soe soone as I can rise vp agayne reforme what hath beene amisse and for the future tyme looke better to my selfe continuinge in resistance to those temptations soe longe as they continue 2. Nor will I seeke to driue them away or lessen the payne of them but only as it shall be the will of God and not accordinge to the will of my nature that is apt to free or ease herselfe of all temptatiōs meerely out of slouth and vnwillingnesse to vndergoe the sharpe and paynefull remedies prouided by God for my soules good by the meanes of these temptations 3. I alsoe resigne mee willingly to embrace and entertayne such defects or blemishes soe they be noe sinns as are in mee by nature or by chance in bodie or in soule and by which I am lesse esteemed by others soe farre as any such defects or blemishes are in mee as Dullnesse or slownesse
Attention vnto it or about iudginge what to be sâ—nnâ— and â—hat not and what to bâ— morrall and what not Or about any other thinge that shall concerne my Confession or sayinge my Office or otherwise conâ—erniâ—ge my soule and conscience â— I â—esâ—gne my selfe to vndâ—rgâ—e and performâ— whatsoeuâ—r my supâ—â—ioâ— shall deliâ—eraâ—â—lye and Absoâ—utelyâ— reqâ—iâ—e of mâ—â— â—lbâ—iâ— neuâ—r â—oe â—â—pugnâ—nt â—o â—ynâ— owâ—â— naturall will or 〈◊〉 And though it sâ—â—mâ—â—â—ueâ—â—oe râ—pugnant to my natuâ—all reaâ—on aâ—d iudgâ—mentâ— and â—â—â—me to be â—ayne and impertinent or agâ—â—â—st reâ—sâ—n◠〈◊〉 proâ—â— very pâ—â—nefull to my bodye or preiudiciouâ— to my Fame and honour yea and though it seeme a thinge impossible to be done yet will I attempt it and endeauour to doe it the best â— can Prouided alwayes there be nothinge commanded mee as without doubt I hope there neuer will be against the Lawes of God and His Church 9. I likewise resigne my selfe willinglye to vndergoe any pennance publike or priuate that shall be enioyned mee by my superior immediate or mediate yea though such a pennance be neuer soe greate a â—onfusion or shame vnto mee or stayne â—o my honour or crediâ—t and â—hough I be neuer soe innocent in the supposed crime for the which the pâ—â—â—anâ—e is imposed and that â—ll Others doe eâ—â—eemâ— and iudge meâ— guiltie of the crime though indâ—ed I am nâ—t 10. I resigne my selfe soe â—arre to ouercome the â—aâ—hfullnesse or other difficâ—lâ—â—â—â—â—haâ— iâ— oâ— shall â—e in mee for the discoueringe of my secret bodilye necessities or other secrets of my interior Especially to doe this in matter of Confession That I will when there shall be cause for it therin mortifye my selfe and will with the Grace of God open my case to my superior or Ghostly Father accordinge to the nature of my cases and as it shall require albeit my naturall will haue neuer soe greate an auersion from such my discouerie of my necessities or of my interiour state THE XIII EXERCISE 1. I Resigne my selfe that when Charitie Obedience discretion or necessitie shall require it I will visitt and helpe any One lyinge sicke though of the plague or any other infectious odious or horrid disease and will attend serue and comfort them accordinge to my abilitie without flinchinge any way and therin will reguard neither life nor health nor will auoid itt for any horrour or loathsomenesse that my nature shall find or coâ—ceiue in the disease or imployment Yet it is not the will of God that I should without cause desperately put my selfe into the said imployment but it must be done accordinge to the Rule of Discretion and that good may come by it to the partye that is infected or otherwise sicke 2. In like manner I resigne my selfe to attend serue and watch with those that be sicke or need helpe accordinge to their necessitie and as Charitie Obedience and discretion shall require of mee 3. I resigne my selfe to vndergoe and put in execution all manner of remedies that shall be deliberatelye aduised mee by the physitian with the consent of my Superiors for the betteringe of my health or sauinge of my life be those remedies neuer soe harsh bitter paynefull or odious to my nature As the takinge of moâ—â— bitter Potions cuttinge of some of my limmes or any other paynefull remedie ordayned and prescribed vnto mee 4. I am resigned to vndergoe the molestations of little but paynefully â—inchinge bitinge and troublesome creatures as fleas lice eimises and other such like vâ—rmine soe farre as God will haue mee to be exercised by them and that I cannot rid my selfe from them Yea though they should soe farâ—e prâ—uayle ouer mee as to bereaue mee of my life â—as they haue done to diuers I will and doe sâ—â—â—he loue of God therin reâ—â—gne my selfe to his will and prouidenâ—â—â—eerin â— I resigne my selfe when Obedience Charitie or necessâ—tie shall â—â—quire it to goe to any Howse roome or place and lodgâ— and dwell â—here notwithstanding the feare of Deuills Hobgobblings or otheâ— had Spiritâ— that are said to be there 〈…〉 will in thâ— name of God and when it shall be his will resort and abide in such a place albeit I should there really see a 1000. of those euill and malitious Spirits yea and though God would permitt them to beate buffet scratch and torment my Bodie as hee permitted them to doe to the Bodies of S. Anthonie and other Saincts for their Exercise For I know well that all the Malice of the Diuell will not be able to hurt my soule soe longe as I continue my good will and loue to God which the diuell cannot take away by molestinge of my Bodie but hee doth thereby giue mee more and better occasion to vnite my soule to God the which beinge done it little importeth what hee doth to my bodye which what harme soeuer hee doe in this life I beleiue and am assured will be well restored to mee at the generall day of Iudgement and in perfect health as I hope alsoe for the saluation and perpetuâ—ll felicitie of my soule 6. And therefore and in like manner I doe resigne my selfe that if God will permitt and haue my bodie to be possessed by the Diuell or by millions of Deuills and to be vexed and tormented by them or to haue witchcraft preuayle on my bodye to vexe and torment mee I shall take it patientlye and resignedly as from the hand of God and be contented that his and myne enimies those Deuills doe peâ—forme their malice towards my Bodye my soule beinge still vntouched by them ouer which they shall haue noe more powre then my Frewill shall giue way to which by the Grace of God shall be in nothinge at all And some Saincts there haue beene who for their Exercise humiliatioÌ„ haue desired of God that they might in their bodies be possessed by the Deuill and haue thervppon come to be possessed 7. For the loue I beare vnto God I doe renounce all desire to any manner of Office or imployment that is of Authoritie or Dignitie or in any sort gratefull to my nature or sensualitie and doe purpose with the helpe of his Grace for the keepinge my selfe in humilitie and for auoydinge of occasions of distractions not only not to desire or goe about directly or indirectly to procure the haueinge of any such Office or imployment 8. But alsoe by all the meanes that may be pleasinge to God to preâ—ent the hauinge of them 9. And beinge offered vnto mee to refuse them vtâ—erlye soe farre as I may without displeasinge God It is continued THE XIV EXERCISE 1. AND further I will endeauour and procure soe farre as shall stand with the pleasure of God that any other rather then my selfe though hee be my iunior oâ— of talents neuer soe inferior to myne shall haue the office if hee shall be iudged fitt and sufficient for the place yea though hee be one whom in my nature I haue least affection for or one
whatsoeuer displeaseth thy sight and make mee a Man accordinge to thy hart 150. Wound mee ô Lord wound the most inward part of my soule with the darts of thy Loue 151. And make mee drunke with the wine of thy perfect Charitie 152. O when shall this be 153. When shal I please thee in all things 154. When shall all dye in mee which is contrarie to thee 155. When shall I be altogether thine 156. When shall I liue to be noe more myne owne 157. When shall nothinge else liue in mee but thou ô Iesus 158. When shall I loue thee most feruentlie 159. When shall the flames of thy loue wholie consume mee 160. When shall I be altogether melted pearsed through with the woÌ„derfull efficacie of thy sweetenesse 161. When wilt thou take mee hence by force drowne mee transport mee and hide mee in thy selfe where I maye neuer more be seene 162. When wilt thou free mee from all these impediments and distractions and make mee one Spirit with thee that I maye not any more depart from thee 163. O Dearely Beloued O Dearelie Beloued of my soule 164. O sweetenesse of my Hart 165. Heare mee ô Lord not for my merits but for thy infinitt Goodnesse and Mercie 166. Teach mee enlighten mee direct mee and assist mee in all things that I may doe or say nothinge but what is agreable to thy blissed will and pleasure 167. O my God my well beloued my dearest Hart and the very God of my soule 168. O my sweete loue 169. O my greate Delight 170. O my strenth Helpe mee 171. O my light guid mee towards thee 172. O God of my soule why giuest not thou thy selfe to thy poore Creature 17â— Thou fillest Heauen and earth and wilt thou leaue my hart emptie 17â— Thou bathest the Lillies of the field giuest meate to the little birds and feedest the wormes of the earth why then dost thou forgett mee who endeauours to forgett all others for thy sake 175. Too late haue I haue I knownâ— thee ô infinitt Goodnesse 176. Too late haue I loued thee ô Beautie soe ancient and soe new 177. Wooe to the tyme I loued thee not 178. Blind I was that I saw thee not 179. Thou wert within mee and I went seekinge thee abroad 180. But now that I haue found thee though late suffer not Good Lord that I euer leaue thee Amen Amen Amen FINIS ACTS OF RESIGNATION To be vsed accordinge TO THE DIRECTIONS ACTS OF RESIGNATION in things concerninge the Body THE FIRST EXERCISE 1. I Resigne my selfe for the Loue of my God my deare Lord to vndergoe these ensuinge Paines or Difficulties in my Bodie soe farre as God hath alreadie laid them or any of them vppon mee or shal be pleased heereafter to laye or permitt them or any of them to fall vppon mee To witt Agues Feauers falling-sicknesse crampe collicke Consumption or other bodilie sicknesse whatsoeuer Especiallie such sicknesse or infirmitie as troubles mee at this present or to which through my nature or Bodilie complexion and constitution I am most disposed and inclined 2. As weaknesse feeblenesse lamenesse Toothache or any other ache or paine in my head or any other part of my Bodie 3. Deformitie or vglinesse in the sight of others as it was in the case of holy Iob Lazarus and others that were full of Biles botches and other more odious externall defects in Bodie 4. Extremitie of Heate such as wee feele or maye feele in some time of the summer extremitie of cold such as wee feele or maye feele in some tyme of the winter And in tyme of summer to be driuen to weare and beare perhaps out of Obedience or other necessitie more cloaths then our nature needeth or is willinge to beare And in the cold of winter to be contented to want cloaths which wee conceiue our nature needes when that obedience or necessitie denies them vs. 5. Want of sleepe as when beinge in bed one cannot â—leepe through â—ome bodilie indisposition or other or when obedience will not permitt mee to haue soe much tyme for sleepe as my nature would desire to haue or maye seeme needfull to haue 6. Hunger thirst the difficulties of fastinge and Abstinence scarcitie in meate or drinke as not hauinge soe much in Quantitie as my nature would haue or perchance requireth or lesse then I see some others haue Or when the qualitie of the meate or drinke doth not please my nature and yet obedience will yeild mee noe better or when my meate is not soe well dressed as I could wish it were or when I haue it not in such a season as in my nature I could wish but is delayed mee for some tyme. 7. I am resigned and contented to see others better serued or prouided for in meate drinke cloath lodginge and beddinge then I am though I conceiue and imagine that I deserue and need as much as they doe and yet obedience will not allow it mee Likwise when it seemeth to mee that others are more spared from corporal labours then I am yet it seemeth to mee that they need or deserue noe more indulgence or sparinge then I doe 8. Indisgestion vomitinge or other payne or defect in the stomacke not to be able to gett downe some meate that is vngratefull to the stomacke or palate And yet obedience or pouertie will perhaps afford mee noe better 9. Paynes or Defects about the 5. externall senses As bitter or vnsauorie Tasts vngratefull smells hideous and horrible sights or representations to the eyes as the sight of Deuills or damned soules Hideous and fearefull noises as thunder c. and noises displeasinge to the eare and soe of the Rest. It is continued THE II. EXERCISE 1. AS to the fift sense of feelinge I Resigne my selfe to suffer and endure scorgings buffetings beatings as our Sauuiour endured or stoneings as S. Stephen or incisions and launcings or câ—ttinge of the flesh or any other corporall paynes or torments be they external or internal To the losse of eyes or pains in them to deafenesse or dumbenesse to vndergoe alsoe some externall worke or labour from which I am naturally auerted when that obedience appoints itt albeit I should conceiue it preiudiciall to my health 3. To attend and watch with the sicke when that obedience appoints it 4. I am resigned to loose any member of my Bodye when God shall permitt or will haue mee to loose itt be it feete leggs hands c. 5. To vndergoe all sort of corporall labours and that with feeblenesse and indisposition of Body soe farre as the will of God shall require 6. I am resigned to loose all pleasure delight and Gust in the sense of Tast soe that I may find noe more tast in the pleasantest meate then I should doe in eatinge a chipp or a stone or in drinkinge of a thinge that hath noe tast or is of a very vngratefull Tast. 7. I am resigned to any disfiguringe in the face or other part of the Bodie
of witt or Iudgement disabilitie to expresse my mind by word or writinge ignorance or vnskilfulnesse in such Kind of things as others of my callinge vsuallye can doe rawnesse harshnesse lownesse or vnpleasantnesse of voyce Blemishes or defects in face or fauour or in any other part of the bodie or in stature or in any other reall or seeminge defect in soule or bodye Or in beinge descended of poore or lesse noble parents or hauinge poore or obscure kindred or Friends In these and all other such like points I resigne my selfe to God and I doe and will still accept of my Coudition such as it is or may be And doe not desire any betteringe lesseninge or alteringe of itt But that it may continue and be published to all others for my mortification and humilitie 4. I resigne my selfe all the tyme of my life proue it neuer soe longe for the Honour of God and his deuine pleasure to labour all that I can both corporallye and spiritually for gayneinge of perfection that is the perfect loue of God albeit I neuer reach vnto itt or neere vnto itt Therin and in all other things resigninge and wholy submittinge my selfe to what the Maiesty Goodnesse and Wisedome of God shall please to determine about mee 5. I resigne my selfe as to all proprietie and affections to bookes and instructions printed and writtenâ— which I either haue had now haue or heereafter may haue And doe resigne my selfe to be depriued of them when and by such meanes as shall please God to depriue mee of them And for the loue of God I doe for the present and for the future renounce and giue ouer all Affection to them 6. The like I doe for all those things that I haue for the vse of my bodye or Exercise of deuotion as chamber beddinge cassocke or any other cloathinge and all other things appertaninge to the bodye 7. Beads Reliques Reliquaries Agnus Dei with their siluer gold or other pretious cases pictures medalls and whatsoeuer other materiall things appertayninge to Deuotion or that may be a recreation solace or pleasure to the mind THE X. EXERCISE 1. I Doe most willingly resigne my selfe to be depriued of all instructors I meane men or weomen that may or doe instruct mee and of all Confessors both in Generall and particular purposinge with the Grace of God euer to serue him the best I can accordinge to the naturall talents which I haue as alsoe accordinge to the supernaturall talents and Graces that hee shall bestow on mee hopinge in his goodnesse that hee will by one meane or other supplie mee with all knowledge that shall be necessarie for my soule albeit I be depriued of all those ordinarie helps of bookes instructors and confessors 2. I resigne my selfe to haue my superiors and all others whom my nature would haue to be most friendly vnto mee to be in all things crosse and contrarie vnto mee yea and to persecute mee soe farre as the prouidence of God shall permitt purposinge through his Grace and for his loue to endure all 3. Since the tongue is an occasion of many sinns and imperfections I doe for the loue of God renounce all affection to the vse and Exercise of the tongue and to all manner of talkinge and discoursinge soe that if it might please God I would be contented for his loue to be made dumbe and to haue noe tongue at all soe that I could not speake 4. Because neuerthelesse the necessitie of his life will not admitt such mortification of absolute dumnesse in practise but that I must often speake either for myne owne need or for Charities sake or for my ownâ— recreatioâ— or for some other iuâ—t occasion I purpose with the grace of God that all my words and talkings shall not be out of Affection to talkinge but out of a reasonable necessitie with a religious warinesse that I offend not in the matter or manner of my speakinge giuinge ouer soe soone as conueniently I may euer affectinge at least in my superior will if not in my nature or sensualitie to haue noe vse of my tongue at all nor wishinge to haue need or iust ocâ—asion for it saue only for praysinge Honoringâ— God Soe that by this meanes my errors escapes by occasion of talkinge doe not proceed out of affectioÌ„ to talkinge itselfe but that the talke itselfe be necesâ—â—tated and the which wee could not well forbeare 5. For the loue and Honour of God I doe renounce all manner of desire of Honour and Honorable places dignities and Offiâ—es that are oâ— Authoritie command or Directioâ—â— or whatsoeuer may breed mee estimation with others and thereby feed my prowd nature 6. And in steed thereof I will vndergoe any office place or imployment that my nature doth scorne and abhorre if that obedience charitie or the will of God doe impose itt on mee 7. For the loue of God I doe renounce all vayne complyinge conuersation and correspondance with the world by letters tokens messages or otherwise And all seekings to please the world with which in affection I desire to haue noe more to doe then if I were really dead and buried desiringe only to serue and please God Yea I desire soe much to be forgotten by the world that it may not remember or know thaâ— there is or euer was any such creature as I am or as if I had neuer at all beene borne 8. For the loue of God I renounce all inordinate affection to my parents Friends and kindred as if I were another Melchisedec whose parents and kindred were vtterly vnknowne both to himselfe and to all others And doe resigne my selfe to be neglected and forsaken by them all yea and to haue them without any iust occasion giuen by mee auerted from mee soe that they abhorre to heare mee named nor can endure soe muchâ— as to thinke of mee 9. For the loue of God I renounce all affection to meates and drinkes as to any pleasure or delight that I willingly intend in them and doe rather if it might please God to graunt itt vnto mee choose for the mortification of my sensualâ—tie that I might neuer need to eate or drinke at all but be deliuered from the necessitie of itt And in such case would I desire to liue soe longe as it shall please God that I abide in thâ—â— lise I meane without eatinge or drinkinge and without need to eate or drinke or to take any thinge that may be pleasinge to my Bodye or nature 10. But since it cannot be soe but that I needs must eate and drinke I will doe it for the loue and seruice of God and not meerely or at all for my owne will and pleasure It is continued THE XI EXERCISEâ— 1â— IN the like manner I resigne my selfe as to the affection for sleepinge Recreation and all other corporall refreshments and solaces to take them only for God and not for myne owne will or satisfaction And to be willing altogether to