little or no Service but I rest contented herein seeing God hereby does magnify his Goodness and Mercy to me I doubt not but there are many Souls in Heaven who have in the eyes of the World done little Service for God as Solitares in the Deserts and many Persons without Talents and yet have high Places in the Mansions of Eternity They spent all their Time to purify their Interiour by being faithful to the Graces they have received from the infinite Bounty of God and the Service they rendred him to the Glory of his Name is only written in his Omniscience but will be laid open to the World at the great Day of Manifestation CHAP. V. Of the Impediments of Prayer I Clearly see and know by Experience that the temporal Affairs of our Oeconomy does not a little take us off from God We do ill in it yea it being our Obligation 't is pleasing to God to manage our Temporals with a good Intention though it would be better if we can to lay aside these Worldly Distractions to spend our time only in God's Service And those who have a Call from God to attend on him alone in a state of Prayer and Contemplation cannot without being unfaithful to his Grace continue in the solicitous Distractions of worldly Affairs I must needs say that Worldly Business darkens and hinders my Soul in her Spiritual Exercises and I would never spend time therein upon Humane Considerations but purely because God has so order'd it However it must be our care not to spend more time therein than necessity requires Too delicate Dyet though it may strengthen Nature yet it weakens Grace When the Body is brought down by Abstinence the Soul is more vigorous in her Elevations to God I find this true in me by Experience A Soul must be very well grounded in Grace that among temporal Imployments and worldly Cares can keep her self up in Fervour and Purity She meets with a thousand Occasions to move her to Anger Impatience Sadness and vain Joy and though she do not give way to them yet she is sensible of them and this must needs more or less disturb her Interiour Peace whereby she is united to God her Happiness A little thing will hinder a Soul from raising her self to Contemplation and a less matter will somewhat darken her when elevated because the least emotion of Spirit will indispose her to receive Divine Impressions Therefore a man of Prayer must be a man dead and mortified for that is not pure Prayer which does not work in us a victory over our Passions and Vicious Inclinations and bring us to the practice of all Christian Virtues I see now more clearly than ever that the Spirit of Prayer does not persevere and gather strength but in those who are dead to Sensuality austere to themselves Penitent and disengaged from whatsoever is not God 'T is true as for Corporal Austerities a tender Complexion must follow the Councel of a Director But commonly we are too indulgent to our selves and far from the practice of great Penitents who were very severe to themselves and also great Contemplatives We deceive our selves if we think to enter into a state of Prayer and take delight in Worldly things Though in rigour this may in some sort be permitted to Candidates of Devotion yet not to Proficients in whom the Spirit of Prayer and Conformity to Jesus Christ Crucified ought to be wholly predominant For 't is our Duty to live Conformably to that state where God has put us Gerson says very well If we refuse Exteriour Consolations we shall receive Interiour The reason hereof seems to me to be this because Interiour Consolations participate of the Purity of their source which is the union of God with the Soul and will not permit any mixture with Impurity and Imperfection For sensual Joyes and Consolations are Earthly Impure and Imperfect and consequently are contrary to the Spirit of Grace which makes the Soul pure and Penitent and Mortified to the things of this Life Moreover Interiour Consolations are slender participations of those Infinite Delights which God has in himself of himself and he is jealous of such favours not communicating them but to a Soul entirely beloved that takes no delight but in him alone But when earthly consolations enter into a Soul they draw her partly from God and so God withdraws his favours from her For this reason the Saints who would be wholly for God mortified themselves without reserve as much as humane weakness would permit that no sensual or Worldly Pleasures might have any part in their Affections but God alone Take courage O my Soul let us embrace the Cross and follow Jesus Christ who will conduct us through the garden of his Delights Let us not trouble our selves with Worldly Affairs unless we know 't is the Will of God for otherwise we shall find affliction of Spirit and decay in Spirituality Thrice happy is he who shuns multiplicity for this will dispose him to pure Love Many things seem to us necessary which serve but to entertain the corruption of Nature still working in us If God should severely examine all our Actions perhaps he would hardly find one in all respects well pleasing to him We too much follow Nature and our Humane Inclinations if Grace sets us a working we hardly go through with it but Nature creeps in some way or other to sully our Actions What is purely Natural cannot be Meritorious all merit proceeding from a Principle of Grace and therefore no Actions but what have an influence from Grace can dispose us to a union with God O how rare a thing is pure Virtue That which seems best is not for the most part without some blemish Those who have Illustrations from Heaven discover these Impurities others in the dark see nothing but grosser Faults and Imperfections From all this we may conclude that there are principally four great Obstacles which hinder for the most part the exercise of Prayer 1. To engage our selves in Worldly Affairs more than the order of God requires 2. To be too delicate and use very little Corporal Austerity 3. To practice little either Interiour or Exteriour Retreats and to have no Love for Recollection and for Solitude 4. Want of zeal and Courage in the ways of God and so living a Life meerly Humane by following our Naetural Inclinations But he shall never be a Man of Prayer who does not live a Super-natural Life and practice all Christian Virtues with a Faithful and Generou Resolution And Blessed is he who by his constancy in Spiritual Exercises has brought his Soul to such a temper that 't is in a manner as easie for him to Pray as breath Hic accipiet Benedictionem à Domino Misericordiam à Deo Salutari suo quia haec est generatio quaerentium Dominum He that thus seeks God while he may be found shall enjoy him there where he can never be lost CHAP.
Blessed in Heaven is Enjoyment but we Travellers on earth ought to desire nothing more then to suffer for Jesus This Suffering does mortifie Old Adam in us by Holy Violence makes us die to the World and separates from us whatever is Impure and Earthy as Gold is purified in a burning Furnace Our Corruption cannot be ruin'd but either by Fire or the Sword of Afflictions which should induce us to embrace them with Contentment seeing the more we Suffer the more we are Purified Let us have an Honourable esteem for the greatest Crosses because they work in us the profoundest Purity and the purest Love of God which is the Life of our Soul and the end of our Creation I am much pleas'd with my present state of affliction seeing it is the readiest way to form Jesus Christ in me and make me a Perfect Christian which is the work of works the highest Honour the richest Treasure and the Soveraign Happiness of this Life While we are Pilgrims on Earth we are exiles from Gods presence Which must needs be a Cross to Souls that sigh after the Beatifical vision I know not how it is but methinks I see more Purity of Love of resignation of Perfection in my present Suffering condition then what I have found in the joyes of union which puts my heart in repose and quiet It seems to me that I can say more truely than at other times O my God what do I desire in Heaven or on Earth but you who are my Portion and my Heritage for ever My Life is Crucified with Jesus Christ and altogether hid with him in the good Pleasure of God To send us Crosses and make us content with a Suffering condition is one of the choicest effects of the Providence of God Seeing he has an Infinite Love for himself his will is that all Creatures capable of his Love should love him also To dispose them thereto the better he sends them Crosses which purifie our corrupted Nature and produce in us dispositions fit for Divine Impressions O Infinite Goodness O merciful Justice I return you Thanks with all my Heart that you have afflicted me to make me love you Losses Contempts Poverty Sufferings come you are welcome my heart is open to give you entertainment Behold I receive you with open arms because you bring with you Divine Love CHAP. IV. God is pleas'd to send us Crosses in the place of Persecutions that our Life may be a continual Martyrdom I Am much taken with this Saying of St. Clement of Alexandria That seeing our Love and Fidelity to God does not at present appear by shedding our Blood for our Faith the Persecutions of Tyrants being ceas'd we must now manifest them by making our Faith visible in all our Actions To do the will of God is a great testimony of our Love to him but 't is a far greater to suffer for him Souls loving God and beloved of him are careful to correspond to Divine Graces whether by acting or Suffering and are so couragious in their Resolutions that no humane fears though of loss of Life it self is able to stop the torrent of their Affections Witness that good Religious man who askt his Spiritual Guide whether it was not better to die than complain of the Infirmarian who provided Diet not proper for him We now suffer more notably in some things than the Martyrs of Old by Bloody Persecutors For our Crosses Interiour or Exteriour being impressions of the Divine Holiness though they separate not the Soul from the Body yet they separate the Soul from the Love of all Creatures to unite us to God alone This Holiness of God having an Infinite abhorrence of whatsoever is not Pure and Holy Delights to purifie the Elect by Tribulations as Gold in the Fire When therefore the Soul feels her self as it were nail'd to the Cross by Derelictions Aridities and Interiour Sufferings let her not strive to free her self but continue in this Suffering contentedly as long as pleases God because hereby she Glorifies him and Purifies her self Seeing 't is certain that the Cross is the Source of Graces and Purity we are inconsiderate to complain and shun Afflictions for we flee from our advancement in Spirituality and the Purity of Love neither will we permit God to accomplish in us his good pleasure To die naked on the Cross is the ultimate disposition of pure Love 'T is in vain to pretend to the Perfection of Divine Love unless with St. Teresa We desire either to die or suffer The Holy Martyrs could not attain it but by dying for God nor we except by Suffering for him When I am in Prayer in the Presence of God I am much ashamed of my self to suffer so little and with so much Imperfection in a manner so different from the Saints I am in such confusion hereat that I dare hardly stay in Gods Presence were it not that to repair my Miseries and make him satisfaction I offer up to him Jesus suffering poor and abject for us sinners And thereupon I make resolutions to endure whatsoever Crosses happen to me with all the Fidelity that Grace requires It seems to me that a Soul can hardly be content without some Suffering or other I have had experience hereof in some little tempest that now is over And which is more I cannot believe so much content may be taken in limiting our sufferings as desiring greater if God thinks good because the Peace and Content of the Soul consists in Loving and Love is best satisfied with what most pleases God and therefore in suffering for him From these words of our Blessed Saviour If any one will come after me he must deny himself and take up his Cross and follow me I learn that the state of this present corrupt Life requires that we must live in a continual dying to the World seeing the enjoyment of Creatures does too much work upon our weakness to bring us off from God Our Corruption and the long habit of taking Pleasure in the things of this World makes it very difficult for us to live this dying Life which is a great Cross and a long Martyrdom It cannot be denyed but we must suffer much to arrive to the possession of God in a Super-natural Life however to taste the sweetness of God for one moment does Infinitely transcend the pains of gaining him And when he hides himself and tryes us with Derelictions what a Cross is it 'T is a state of great Perfection indeed to be content without Comforts both Divine and Humane Many Martyrs have suffered less in dying for God then the Soul does sometimes in this condition Patience a little and God e'er long will sufficiently recompense us with abundance of his Graces and Consolations Sometimes God seems to abandon his most Faithful Servants as he dealt with Holy Job permitting Satan to assault them with several Temptations sometimes against Charity sometimes against Chastity and sometimes against Faith 'T is
by Jesus Christ there being no other Means to attain Salvation 6. That the Sacred Trinity which consists in the perfect Knowledge and pure Love of the Divine Persons is the true Model of Perfect Prayer These deeply consider'd are very instrumental to elevate a Contemplative Soul to so high a pitch that sometimos she in a wonderful manner participates of that Life Eternal which is in God himself I have made a Resolution to desire of God that my Prayer may be altogether Intellectual to the end I may not feel such sensible Gusts of Heavenly Consolations which prejudice Nature These are but sweet Baiâ—s for self-Love which sullies the Purity of Prayer and diminishes the Contemplative Attention which continues more strong and vigorous when kept on the point of the Spirit whereby the Fire of Divine Love burns brighter and with more constant Flames This is that continual Union which is the Object of Perfection and whatever hinders this ought to be suspected as are sensible Gusts of Devotion in Inferiour Nature O my Soul let us therefore entirely give up our selves to God in Prayer to receive from him such impressions as he thinks best let our chief care be fully to submit our selves to him and to be disingag'd from all worldly things and accept with Thankfulness whatever he gives us If he gives us nothing let nothing content us and peaceably acquiesce in Union with his Divine Will A Soul faithful in the state of Privations will sooner or later as God sees best be raised to pure Union and Enjoyments on the lofty Wings of Contemplation CHAP. IX Of the Prayer of Faith THis Prayer is a bare reflection or simple remembrance of God who is believed by naked Faith as he is seen and known by the Light of Glory 'T is the same Object here and there but known by the Soul in a different manner The way of knowing God here is but learned Ignorance Earth is the Land of Believing Heaven of Seeing To see God as we are seen of Him and understand all Divine Mysteries is reserv'd for the Light of Glory here we must walk by the obscurities of Faith This Faith must be naked without Images or Representations simple and without Discourse universal without a distinct consideration of particulars The operation of the Will is conform to that of the Understanding Naked Simple Universal Spiritual Independant on the Senses We must expect great Combats in this way from our Spirit which will still be working and rely on Creatures But though it be much distasted by the understanding part of the Soul yet she must strive to die to her own operations and willingly entertain what helps her in this Combat as Aridities Privations Desolations which at last leave the Soul in exercise of pure Faith whereby God is known in a higher manner than those Lights which serve as a Medium between God and the Soul for this Union of our Spirit with God by pure Faith is immediate and so more elevated The Will also must die to what ever is not God To live only in Him and to him by pure Love For the Life of the Will is this Death and this Death is not ordinarily wrought but by Privations This kind of Prayer is uniform and not much lyable to alterations nor brings any damage to the Body For Nature has nothing to do in it being not procurable by greatest endeavours of Humane Industry but depending purely on the Will of God who alone gives it when and to whom he pleases 'T is true this pure and naked Contemplation of God by Faith is given but rarely and to those who have past through many Purgatories and states of Penance to fit them for it In the beginning it darts into the Soul but Transient Irradiations like flashes of Lightning if at any time they continue about half an hour 't is very much However they work in the Soul very great Effects One of the principal is that this Light of Faith discovers to us the verity of Divine Mysteries Imperfections and the Perfections we want and practical Virtues And all this at once not successively one after another by discourse which could never arrive to produce a knowledge so clear and universal But indeed the understanding has much ado to die to its own operations and not act by Humane Lights by being wholly given up to the obscurity of Faith However this must be done to be rightly disposed for Divine Operations There are divers degrees of Contemplations but what God is pleas'd to give us must be received with submissive Thankfulness While we live in Mortal Bodies we shall have always something to purifie and therefore always something to suffer Three parts of our Life pass away in a Suffering condition In a state of obscurity the Soul is intimately united to God although she be not sensible thereof I am much taken with the way of pure Faith in Prayer whereby the Soul knows God as much as she can do in this Life and though it be obscure it matters not being sure and certain For my part take as much as you will of my Light of Reason if the Light of Faith increase thereby O how Beautiful is pure and naked Faith It much conduces to Spiritualize a Soul to live continually by Faith to esteem and love nothing but what we ought to esteem and love Man rarely will relinquish his Reason and nevertheless he must raise himself above it or drag on the Earth with Imperfections Faith is a participation of the Eternal Wisdom she only conducts us with true assurance for her Lights though dark are certain and their obscurity does incomparably transcend the clearest evidence of Natural Reason Moreover to make Prayer more Intellectual and that Nature may have no hand in it we must leave off some things which usually did raise our hearts to God with a sensible Devotion As Musick Rich Ornaments Devout Pictures in Churches and the like This is good and profitable in the beginning of a Spiritual Life and some time after but when a Soul has attained purity of Prayer there 's no need to take her nourishment that is her Knowledge and Love but from pure Faith and Supernatural Lights infused into her When we take not good heed we keep not our selves sufficiently passive to the Operations of God but we go a beging for the Life of the Soul to sensible Objects when God himself would nourish her with more purified Knowledge and Diviner Love Why should we hanker after sensible Gusts of Devotion seeing Nature is commonly too much taken with them to the damage of naked Faith and the hindrance of our pure Union with God which requires a total denudation of all Creatures Notwithstanding when God tryes us with Derelictions and gives us not admittance into his presence but by things sensible and Discoursive Prayer we must humbly comply with this state and not pretend to higher elevations in our Addresses to him Yet if a Soul in
by this fault I may see my Nothing my weakness my inclinations to evil more clearly than formerly I was miserable and I did not know it I was frailty it self and I did not perceive it but 〈…〉 acknowledge my vileness tho' I cannot 〈◊〉 â—athom the depth thereof 〈…〉 I am well-pleas'd that this fault happen'd 〈◊〉 presence of my Friends who will thereâ—â—â—◠〈◊〉 â—ow what I am It much displeases me to 〈◊〉 offended God by being so faithless to his â—â—â—ces but I joy in this that I am well-pleas'd â—â—th my humiliation 'T is a good hap to be deâ—â—â—sed in the esteem of others and does relish â—weet to such who desire to repair the injury â—hey have done to God by sinning against him To be powerfully convinced of our pure Nothing and great Frailty is the profit we ought to make of our imperfections How profitable is the discovery of my misery to me seeing it makes clear unto me all these verities This is the truth of it I am nothing but infirmity and corruption and more than I can comprehend And for the love I ought to have for Truth by a voluntary acquiescence I love and adore Divine Providence which has brought me to the sight of my own Nothing I acknowledge my self to be miserable and am pleas'd the world should know it and use me according to this verity 'T is true also that we ought not to complain of whatsoever injury is done us by word or deed for 't is always less than we deserve 'T is the Law of Christianity and a great truth that we ought to love abjection Jesus having loved it by his Father's order and he is the grand exemplar we must imitate 'T is true also that after our failings we ought to comfort our selves with the love of abjection and make use of our infirmity to please 〈◊〉 Just as when a Ship is broken by a Temâ—â—â— we get some shatter'd Plank to save us 〈◊〉 perishing 'T is true also that since this lapse I perceâ—â—â— better than ever the Bounty the Power anâ— Mercy of God towards me and all the Divine Perfections appear unto me beaming forth more splendors of Glory Just as the Moon never makes more evident the dependance she has upon the Sun than in Eclipses 'T is true also that a Soul sensible of her infirmities is content with her Talent without disquieting her self to attain the perfections of great Saints whereoâ— she acknowledges her self unworthy And if God be pleased to communicate unto her great Graces she will not grow proud as well knowing her own weakness but rejoyce in this that God thereby may be more honour'd 'T is true also that being convinced of her own unworthiness she has no confidence in her self but in God alone to whom entirely she gives up her self to deal with her as he pleases in Mercy or Justice She wonders not to see her self left and abandon'd to sin because she knows she deserves no better and then blesses the Divine Mercy for not dealing with her according to her Merits 'T is true also that a Soul grieving to have displeas'd God would be content to be really reduc'd to her first Nothing iâ— such was the Divine pleasure For though she knows being so brought to Nothing she cannot be capable to please God or enjoy him notwithstanding such is the love she has for the Divine Will that she would have that done though she perish To acknowledge and be content with our own baseness is one of the greatest mercies God can do for a Soul For hereby she draws Salvation from Perdition as God knows how to advance his Glory by our sins A Soul thus enlightned is content to be set on the Dunghil of her miseries surrounded with humiliations for her faults as Job was with afflictions and beholding her self as it were the Queen of Infirmities and Abjections she 's pleas'd therewith seeing she may thereby honour and magnifie the Divine Goodness If a Soul be miserable by falling into sin she is rich in possessing the Treasure of humiliation after her failings But this is a truth hidden to most men who do not discover this advanrage They are poor and yet have a Treasure in their Field which they may have for digging Jesus poor and abject for love of me leave me not to my self lift up my Soul after her fall and gâ—ve her some of that Cordial Water which is call'd the love of Abjection that chases away the vain vapours of self-love by which the Soul is darken'd and loses courage Glorifie your power in my infirmities be pleas'd to condescend so far as to receive me returning into the arms of your Mercy and grant I may die unto my self that I may live in your Embraces Methinks dear Jesus I already feel your tenderness unto me your divine love vouchsafes me a relish of the sweets of Paradice my eyes are bath'd in tears of contentment my heart is dilated and love does firmly unite me to you Wherefore do you vouchsafe the kiss of Peace so soon to such a Wretch as I am Why do you not leave me in bitterness of Soul and trouble of Spirit as a just chastisement for my sins Your Mercy will not so deal with me but by wonderful preventions of love in the midst of my infirmities you redouble your favours and consolations O that I was all love to serve you wholly by way of gratitude I would have all the world to see my Infidelities to the end your mercy may shine more glorious I know that the sight of my sin had so frozen my heart as in a manner to make me liveless but O my Jesus you have provided an excellent remedy seeing the flames of divine love have set me all on fire to do your will 'T is a great favour to be in this temper of Soul but dear Jesus stay not here visit my heart again with the feelings of your humiliations that your inscrutable abjections may be its centre and render it in some sort conformable to yours and do this miracle of your Grace that this faithless heart may become a divine heart by the infinite merit of your most precious Blood CHAP. XVII Considerations upon the vileness of this corruptible body HOw is a Soul pleased to know that her body must return to dust This humiliation is the object of her complacency When the illustrations of a Divine Light clear up the understanding then she knows that perfection consists in a tendence to humiliation wherein she meets with the exaltation of God by the admirable contrivance of the Divine Wisdom O dust and ashes you may be terrible to worldly Souls but I am sure you bring joy to those who walking by the light of Faith and conduct of Grace love dearly the interests of God and life eternal The loss of worldly Interests Honour Contentment is painful to Nature too much attached to her self but a Soul elevated by Grace rejoyces at the loss of her own
interests to advance God's glory A Soul ought to be well-pleas'd that her body shall be crumbled to dust and as it were reduced to nothing to exalt the Glory of God and glorifie his Justice A holy person much wondred how the Saints who are powerful with God kept their bodies so long entire not obtaining that they might be humbled by putrefaction because they knowing the inestimable value of humiliation which most glorifies God ought as it seems to have procur'd it to their bodies But if God think best to glorifie himself by preserving them from corruption his Divine Will is and must be the Rule of their desires Sometimes I have desired death as amiable because it would give me free access to enjoy God but at present I have the spirit of annihilation This annihilation is a state above that of death and by it we offer a perfect Sacrifice A Soul which seeks the Glory of God desires death to enter into this perfect annihilation What is most horrible in Death paleness deformity noisomness putrefaction pleases her best for these are companions of a perfect annihilation to humble her as much as possible O death how lovely art thou to such a Soul 'T is a strange thing that the fire of Divine Love burns no brighter in our hearts upon the frequenting of the Sacraments Oftentimes we exercise our selves twice a day in mental Prayer sometimes by holy Conferences daily Lectures and Considerations Now I think the cause of this is that we are sad dejected with abjections which so chills the heart that the fire of Divine Love is stifled thereby but when once humiliation is a joy unto us the heart presently becomes enflamed My Soul having a great degust of this life feels a wonderful desire of death she never was more sensible than now of her Captivity and Prison in this mortal body She sighs after the liberty to see God and enjoy him without any disturbance whatsoever for all created things do divert this happy exercise in which consists her felicity Being a Prisoner in this Body she is yet in darkness and distractions by eating sleeping several affairs and accidents O how is she crucified in being deprived of the full Embraces of her Beloved Quis me liberabit de corpore mortis hujus This made St. Paul earnestly desire to be freed from the Prison of this mortal body I admire the happiness of those who die in our Lord and do wonder at the blindness of of such who passionately desire this present life and are taken up so much with the care of the Body Goods Employments which are so many impediments of our converse with God and Christian Perfection O how importunate is sensuality with us and yet how contemptible is every thing that is not God! We ought not to be discomforted at the loss of temporal things because thereby some chains of our Captivity are broken Much less ought we to be troubl'd to see our Body the Prison of our Soul to weaken by degrees and threaten death Take courage we shall soon see our desires accomplish'd and shortly we shall enjoy God in full possession This state of desires and languishings after God is a state whereby we honour him as our final happiness and being so he deserves by reason of his excellence that we should continually sigh after him Such as have no love for their final end make no matter of it and give too much evidence that they find their repose in something else which is a most dreadful disorder But considering our happiness by death methinks I see nothing more lovely than crosses and abjections which can only refresh a Soul panting after the full possession of God and sometimes so content with it that she forgets the pain of her banishment seeing her self in a state wherein she may glorifie God in so transcendent in a manner which is what she chiefly desires aspiring to enjoyment without having regard to her proper satisfaction CHAP. XVIII Considerations upon the natural inclinations we have to evil A Stone held in the Air if let go falls naturally to the ground by its own weight and 't is no more matter of wonder when we fall into imperfections If God leave us to our selves we are presently in our own nothing weakness and infirmity And if the Grace of God was not very great unto us we should fall more often They may be thought valiant who bear up stoutly against the blast of strong temptations Alas take us at the best we are as frail as Glasses on a Cupboard If some are sooner broken 't is because they are more used and found in the hand of an ill manager Those that stand still on the Cupboard if they had reason would not brag of their strength but only acknowledg that they have not been tryed by occasions When the Grace of God keeps us from falling we ought not to take complacence therein as if we were better than others by reason of such Divine Favours but our content ought to be in the good pleasure of God who is so munificent to his Creatures yea the most unworthy To be thus pleas'd only with God's will is also very necessary when it is God's pleasure to leave a Soul to combat with some singular imperfection a long time without victory For it being the will of God to leave a Soul thus to fight it out she ought to be as well content as if she was more elevated by Grace seeing in this state she meets with the Divine pleasure which is the object of her complacency Insomuch that the Soul has no more inclination for one Grace than another but indifferent to all being content to have her faults made known to glorifie God by the love of abjection Secret faults do us the greatest hurt when manifested if we make good use of it they may bring no small advantage to us I have at present a wonderful distast of this Life which is hardly a Life but a continual Death because it deprives us of knowledg and and love in perfection O how this mortal life is a great punishment and full of Crosses Here we sin here we forget God and run a hazard to lose him eternally Love here finds little nourishment being fed with slender knowledg sometimes much clouded and continual propensions to evil Dear Saviour when will you deliver me from the body of this death This was the desire of St. Paul which I take the courage to make being so much out of love with this miserable life The End of the first BOOK BOOK II. Of the Supernatural Life which is the Life of all true Christians CHAP. I. The Idaea or description of the Supernatural Life WE can never attain Perfection by the sole conduct of human reason which is the light of Philosophers Faith is the light of Christians which teacheth us to renounce the ratiocinations of carnal prudence to follow in simplicity a Jesus Crucified To observe the Commandments of God as
pleasing to him And seeing this exercise of the supernatural life does bring with it a universal Peace and this Peace cannot be preserved without suffering contentedly all injuries whatsoever this excellent life does teach us holy Patience Now this Patience preserves this Peace and this Peace brings with it an admirable Liberty and Resolution to mind principally the One thing necessary which is to give up our selves to God and his direction CHAP. X. Our greatest happiness on Earth is to profess the way of Christianity I Have a great resentment of joy and thankfulness to see my self a Member of Christ's Church and in the number of the Faithful I have a sensible taste of this happiness which is incomparable O my God! what shall I return unto you for having prevented me with this signal mercy why have you chosen me out among so many thousands Alas this is the excess of your sole bounty to me To be a Child of the Church O what a happiness is this 'T is of more worth than to be Monarch of the whole world The Church is the Congregation of the Faithful that is of those who believe and confess Jesus Christ and have no other Maxims nor Sentiments than his O my Soul let us then live as becomes our Profession that Jesusmay live in us according to his holy will and inclinations To be a Member of Christ's Church is to be a person who ought to have an affection for humiliations and crosses to be well content not to thrive in the world and to advance in Virtue by opprobrious usage and contradictions What a misery is it to see us live so little in the exercise of Christianity We account it an honour to be in authority to be well descended to have a generous spirit but to be a Christian we are affraid to own it by our actions O the beauty that adorns our Christian Profession How wonderful is it and yet how little esteemed by us I shall be very honourable and happy to keep that with me when other things are gone and vanish'd O how amiable are the Maxims of a supernatural life in what an excellent order do they put all things They give to every one what is their due to God all Honour and Glory and to me a wretched sinner Contempt and Confusion For I ought to consider my self as a centre of all miseries and deserved punishments God is the Centre and Object of all the adorations of Men and Angels Glory is his just tribute but to me belongs confusion If I should be beaten disgracefully I ought to take it with contentation to see Justice so well done to me on this occasion And if I was truly animated with the spirit of Christianity I ought as much desire to be humbled as worldings thirst after Honours Praises and Preferments 'T is a supernatural disorder not to love Ignominies and not to endeavour the destruction of our corrupted Nature Jesus hath built his Mystical Body on the ruins of our Natural Body and we cannot form in us the same life of Jesus without the ruin of ours that is to say our natural life according to our depraved inclinations Poverty Pains Contempts your dear Companions good Jesus make sometimes my heart ake and then again they refresh me breathing forth such sweet Perfumes as chear my spirits A Perfume that purifies and calms my Soul into a fit temper to converse with you I will now wonder no more that your Spouses run after you in the Odour of your Perfumes A Perfume that doth strengthen me to accomplish the desires I have to be conformable to you My heart dilates it self with hope to see that happy day in this life when I shall be free from all molestation of Creatures and have some participation of the poverty and abjections of Jesus crucified We cannot live here without some Director or other for either the Humanity of Jesus will direct us or the Humanity of Adam will govern us If we live the life of Christianity the First will conduct us and impart to us such directions as his holy Soul receiv'd from the Divinity which are all for the Cross and humiliations If we love only a human life the Other will guide us in the ways of self-love 'T is as great a miracle for a Soul to live a supernatural life as for a stone to elevate it self into the air because the corruption of sin hath made the Soul so heavy that of her self she cannot but tend downward to sin and misery This is that which magnifies the power of Grace in us So that it is a prodigious vanity to boast of our good actions when being done by the supernatural power of Grace they are not the fruits of human Nature If a Soul loses the sight of the light of Faith she will soon lose her self in the Mist of self-love If she does not live in a continual mortification by curbing her natural appetites she must needs fall into superfluities and imperfections The sweetness and joy that a Soul receives from austerities crosses poverty denudation of Creatures makes her spiritual peaceful chearful and affords her solid content and satisfaction The content and delights she receives from sensual pleasures though lawful as Meat and Drink temporal successes Reputation c. make her carnal and afford her but a false peace and vain joy and instead of elevating her to contemplation do more or less depress her to sensuality CHAP. XI That Truth is only found in the Spirit of Christianity the rest is Vanity WHen the beams of the light of Faith are darted into a Soul they discover to her that there 's nothing true indeed but the verities of Christianity which Jesus came from Heaven to teach us and all the rest but deceit and vanity O what happiness is it for a Soul to be thus irradiated Then she begins to know how she hath been enveloped with darkness and dwelt in obscurity O what joys do now refresh her How rich and glorious is she in perceiving that what she thought to be true Riches Glory and Joy is false and counterfeited and in reality but poverty infamy and sorrow These heavenly Illustrations do open her eyes to see perfectly the vanities of this world which now she values not but Jesus is her only joy her life and verity Whatsoever is not Christian that is to say according to the Maxims of Christianity she esteems now as folly death and perdition and what to the world and the flesh is folly death and perdition she accounts to be wisdom life and the greatest gain O when the rays of this light do pierce a Soul how on a sudden becomes she knowing content and elevated 'T is hardly credible how much such a Soul is alienated from her self and whatsoever is not God She sees so much wisdom in the folly of Saints and so much beauty in their miseries that all the allurements of the world cannot win her affections For having been taken
refuse the most charming and most tender embraces to the most unworthy and most perfidious of all his Enemies Judas whom Envy had already poisoned even to the heart whom Avarice had perverted and made a Thief Insensibleness had blinded and made ungrateful whom Malice had corrupted and made an Apostate a Traytor a very Devil yet this Judas in this condition that he was and in which Jesus saw him at the bottom of his heart is not excluded from the eminent Grandeurs of the Love of our Saviour which feeds this Demon with the Manna of Angels O Love how thou art admirable O Love how thou art invincible an abundance of waters cannot extinguish thy flames And now my Soul is it possible thou shouldst continue tepid and insensible while thou art near so great a Fire Hadst thou all the Ardours of the Seraphins thou wouldst still be too little on Fire to answer and reflect the Fires of that incomparable Love which inflames his heart when he comes to give himself to thee A good Religious Capuchin called Br. Bonaventure felt his Soul so inflamed with this Sacred Fire when he approached to the Holy Table that one day among others finding himself more than ordinary replenished with an Ardent desire to unite himself with God and seeing the most Blessed Sacrament in the Priests hand ready to Communicate him his heart seem'd to make strong efforts to leap out of his Breast and meet the only Object of its desires which also broke forth into words For the abundance of his Love forced out their amorous Aspirations My Jesu My Jesu My Jesu But to let both him and us know that the Love of Jesus in this unspeakable Mystery surpasses all ours in an Infinite measure the Holy Host quitted the Priest's hand and as it were all on a flame and encircled with Glorious Rayes of Light of its own accord flew into the Mouth of this worthy Servant of God CHAP. IV. Interiour Entertainments during Communion SOme times when I was Communicating it came into my mind to think that my heart was an Altar and that Jesus Christ came to continue upon it the same operations that he had performed on that Altar where the Holy Mass is Celebrated Wherefore my heart received him lovingly and simply united it self to all his Divine Operations relating both to his Heavenly Father and to Creatures And my Soul adhering to all his Adorations all his Sacrifices all his Love that he bears his Eternal Father became wholly passive like an Altar upon which Jesus does all that he pleases as well in regard of the Divinity as in regard of Men to whom he distributes and dispenses his Mercies It seemed to me that in the first place he apply'd himself to honour his Divine Father to annihilate himself before his greatness to love his Goodness and other Divine Perfections and then he turned himself to succour my weakness and shew his Mercies upon me by giving me a glimpse of what he is and a fight of the strick and close alliance whereby I ought to be united to him that I ought not to subsist a moment but by his Life that his Holy Spirit ought to animate my Soul and be the first spring of all its motion as my Soul moves my Body and is the Principal of all its operations That to live a Life purely Humane is a state wherein though a Soul does not offend God yet she cannot please him which is a thing Love cannot suffer nor will it endure that a Soul wherein it reigns should cease any one moment from pleasing her Beloved O Jesus enter into so absolute a possession of my Soul that she may be wholly yours and that she may never have any other motion than what your Grace gives her 'T is the great desire of my Soul which would not live to you partly and partly to Creatures but that all the actions of my Life be Consecrated to your Love I have need of a Powerful Grace O Jesu to continue thus elevated above my self in all sort of occasions But vouchsafe to magnifie your Omnipotence in my weakness your Mercies in my Miseries Another time after Communion I had represented to me the manner how all the Interiour Faculties of Jesus Christ in his Mortal Life did most worthily Glorifie his Eternal Father All the parts of his Holy Soul were taken up in this imployment the Intellectual Powers of the Superiour part the Beatifical Vision and Fruition the Inferiour part and his Body by a most perfect Suffering I saw the admirable connexion which was between these so different states and their joynt accord to Glorifie the Eternal Father And the wonderful Oeconomy of this Sacred Interiour charmed my Soul I continually offered it up to God in the pressures I lay under in the midst of my troubles I entred into these Holy Dispositions and united my Sufferigs with his my Actions with his Divine ones This disposition remains deeply imprinted in me and serves me for a comfort and support upon all occasion of our contempt pains or any other affliction Another time my Interiour entertainment during Communion was after this manner I consider'd that a Christian has but two concerns in this Life how to maintain the Life of Nature and that of Grace thereby to arrive to that of Glory Generally men think of nothing but the first though it be of no consequence and but for a moment besides that is full of Miseries and they forget the second which is Eternal and Infinite importance yet scarce any body minds it for every one lives in the darkness of Imperfection and the blindness of Sense O what a Misery And on the contrary how Happy are they who set no value but upon the Life of Grace and consequently love those Exercise which nourish and improve it as Mortifications Prayer frequent Communion O how clearly do I see that I ought to disingage my self from Temporal Affairs to apply my self more fully to the Exercises of the Life of Grace and to pure Prayer I made another time my Action of Grace after this manner An attention to the Presence of God before Communion had raised in me a great and awful respect towards that most Sacred Majesty before whom the highest Seraphins in Heaven do tremble The like impression continued in me also after Communion My Soul was all adoration seeing the adorable Jesus was become her Guest His Presence heightned my respect as being the source of all Graces and of all good Dispositions I saw himself also sometimes paying a profound respect to God the Father and then I plunged my self deeper and even lost my self in those Divine Respects unwilling to come out of them And fearing least some persons should come to visit me and interrupt my Devotion I hid my self that I might remain thus wholly plunged in this Sentiment of Reverence which Perfumed my Soul CHAP. V. Other Interiour Entertainments to give Thanks after Communion THe Dispositions most frequent
elevate his Heart by frequent Prayer to God and Contemplation of his Divine Perfections or that dissipates his Spirit abroad by the impulses of Nature engaging himself in Temporal Affairs without being called thereto by the Inspiration and guidance of Grace though something of zeal appear in the thing and as one thinks a good intention I say this Interiour Fire in such a Person is to be compared to these Meteors or Lambent Fires which are carried about with every motion of the Air and shine but do not burn CHAP. XII The fifth Effect of Communion is to give Strength and Perseverance in the Service of God ONe day as I entred into a Church I heard them sing these words in Honour of the Blessed Sacrament Ambulavit in fortitudine cibi illius usque ad montem Dei He walked in the strength of this Bread even to the Mount of God These words affected me and made me Hope that notwithstanding my Miseries and continual weakness I might be so strengthned by receiving this Divine Bread that at last I might arrive to the Mount of God might raise my self above the low inclinations of Nature and mount to the participation of the Spirit of Jesus and Perfection of a Super-natural Life which Life is a high Mountain which no body can climb by the meer strength of Nature I observed before that the peculiar intention of Jesus in Instituting the Holy Sacrament was to give us a foundation to Life and Strength and for that reason 't is the only Sacrament that is given in the form of Nourishment The rest are prescribed by way of Remedy to purge the Soul from Sin or conferr'd by Ceremony of Cousecration to dedicate the Person to the peculiar Duties of Religion and Holy Things and so others respectively But this is the only one given by way of Heavenly nurture to enable us to live by the Life of Grace a perpetual Life over which the death of Sin has no power For Jesus Christ among other effects of this Divine Food assures us that it bestows Eternal Life Qui manducat hunc panem vivet in aeternum And it seems very reasonable and conform to the Infinite Goodness of God that the most excellent of Sacraments should confer the most excellent of Graces which is that of Perseverance A Grace so Sublime so Divine so precious that we cannot merit it by any or all the good Actions we can do But how rare and how noble soever it be we have much subject to hope that the Father of Mercies and God of all Consolations will grant us it since he has already enriched us with that which is Infinitely more than this Grace the Prefence of his only Son in the Blessed Sacrament Corporal Nutriment is Elementary and Material and therefore no better than Corruption Yet if the Body could take it always in a just proportion and were perfectly well disposed to draw the strength it affords it would continue our Natural Life and we should never die How much more would the Heavenly Bread the Living Bread which contains in it self the ever-flowing sources of Life confer a perpetuity and infectibility of Spiritual Life by Grace if the Soul duly used and were disposed to receive the abundance of Graces Virtues and Super-natural strength that this adorable Food brings with it When we Communicate we drink of the same Fountain the Blessed do in Heaven But to them it is the Water of Life Everlasting and what else can it be to us but that of the Life of never failing Grace which is the pledge and assurance of the Eternity of Glory O my Soul dost thou think that any of the Blessed in Heaven after they have tasted the Delights of that Torrent of Pleasures can be oloy'd with them or be contented to be deprived of that Divine and Happy Life How then canst thou be so unconstant and irresolute in the way of Grace and unfaithful in the Union thou hast contracted with God who hast drank the Waters of Joy from the same Fountains of thy Saviour When he presents himself really and in Person and demands to be admitted into thy Heart say not to him as St. Peter did Retire from me O Lord But breath out the Sentiments of perfect Love saying with the Spouse Tenui eum nec dimittam I will never abandon him O what a pleasant Society how profound a Peace does the enjoyment of the Soveraign Good bring to the Soul But both imperfect till they are finished in Heaven The fullest possession thereof she can acquire on Earth serves only to inflame her thirst more the more she tasts God the more she desires him and since there is no possibility of satisfying her desire in this Life she suffers a continual Martyrdom that makes her both die and live together Her pain is full of sweetness and that sweetness begets a languishing and longing after her Beloved She is disgusted with all created things and forceably drawn off from them Nothing pleaseth her in this condition but that which augments her flame She cannot read with satisfaction unless there be some mention of her Beloved All Conversation and Discourse are burthen some and tedious unless the subject be his Love My God you see the bottom of my Heart I conceive things that I cannot utter 'T is true I suffer but I would not but suffer I can do nothing but aspire to a fuller possession of your Infinite Goodness 'T is very much that you vouchsafe to give your self unto me in the adorable Sacrament with such an immense Love but still you give me only a hidden Treasure I possess you indeed but do not enjoy you to my hearts desire I am in the condition of Holy Simeon who held you in his Arms in the Temple and yet dyed with a desire to see you It is time O Lord now permit my Soul to depart in Peace and quit this Mortal Life because I receive within me the Spring and Source of Immortality I know for certain that in Paradice I shall obtain the perfect accomplishment of all my Desires yet I do not desire it till it be your good will and Pleasure Your Love makes me press forward and tend incessantly to the Beatifical Union but 't is your Love too that stops my course that draws me back inspiring me with the highest indifference and absolute dependance on your Divine Will O Jesus how admirable is your Providence you open my eyes to see the comfortable and Blessed sight of the Power and Purity of Love which ought to possess the Soul that has the Happiness to receive you often in the Holy Communion I relinquish and resign my self more than ever into your Divine Hands guide me as it shall best please you There is nothing left to ask you more since you have unasked bestowed your self upon me and crowned me with Mercies even beyond all my Hopes My business is to remain annihilated in your presence and quietly receive your Divine
true these are Crosses and Cruel Persecutions but if we bear them Faithfully with Love 't is a Martyrdom pleasing to God and profitable to us The Persecuting Tyrants tempted the Primitive Christians sometimes against their Faith sometimes against their Chastity which were Glorious Tryals of their Fidelity O how Blessed a thing is it to fight for that Faith and Fidelity we owe to God O what lovely Charms are there in this Martyrdom to those who behold them with the eye of Faith CHAP. V. Of Exteriour Crosses by the loss of Goods BEing in a Friends House who served God truly news was brought me that the Soldiers had ceas'd upon all my Goods at home and Blessed be God it little troubled me But rather I rejoyc'd and put my self into the Hands of God to do what he pleas'd with me preparing my Heart to undergo greater Losses contentedly I was much comforted by my Friend and I went home full of Joy and Cheerfulness accounting my self Happy that Divine Providence had brought me to Poverty and Abjection And I said with my self Courage my Soul our Blessed Saviour continues his Mercies Poverty and Abjection will afford us wings to flee to Perfection Behold now is the opportunity to make great Progress in Virtue if we be but Faithful It seem'd to me that at this time few Persons pityed me and yet they talk'd of my Affliction as no ordinary Tryal They blam'd me in some sort of Proceedings and after all I found my self an Abject and little considered I could never consent to the Councel of those who would have me either yield to anger or discontent For I always thought I ought not to part with that Meekness and Humility which becomes a Christian for the greatest Temporal loss that can happen to me I considered with my self that these little Crosses were hardly to be named with those that they suffer who are tormented with anguishes of Spirit or those who are Slaves under the Turk or such who are put to Death with grievous Tortures That which I suffer is nothing in comparison of those poor Creatures For I instead of being contristated by Suffering found a certain joy to possess my heart and a greater desire to suffer more Hereupon one told me That our Saviour sent me Crosses adorn'd with Flowers which though they took not away their heaviness yet their Odours did refresh and strengthen me to bear them This Persecution continuing I found my self always disposed to suffer it with great Interiour Peace and I kept my Soul from harbouring any thoughts of Bitterness against those who assisted my Plunderers I Saluted them with a Cordial Love although Nature had a repugnance to their Proceedings I beheld with contentment the Fall of our Family how our Friends did forsake us and some treat us very unworthily and yet I could not think it a misfortune but a signal favour from the hand of Providence And I did not complain but digest all this bitter Cup with Interiour joy O bona crux O good Cross The words of St. Andrew seem'd to me very true O how Crosses are good though full of Bitterness We ought to love what is good and make much of it In reality there 's an exquisite goodness in Sufferings and the Fruit of the Cross is wonderful Savorous For at last we shall find that the degrees of Glory shall be according to the measure of our Sufferings and degrees of Love I was then told some means how to get out of this Suffering condition Nature began to resent this with some joy but Grace repress'd it stifling this emotion of Nature that I might have no joy but in God alone and in the accomplishment of his good Pleasure CHAP. VI. Dispositions during Sickness where the Body suffer'd and the Soul rejoyced GOd has been pleas'd to make me enjoy during my Sickness an Interiour Peace so profound and great that I was altogether astonish'd at it considering my Miseries and former Transgressions I said within my self What is this that I find within me How comes it to pass that so miserable a Creature should be thus content and satisfied For my Soul was in a perfect calm from all her Passions feeling nothing but a pure and total union to the good pleasure of God and an absolute abandon of my self to the conduct of Divine Love It seemed to me that some dayes before this Sickness I was in a disposition of extraordinary Peace and Tranquility and one day after Dinner I was taken with a continual Feaver accompanied with much Head ach and Pains throughout all my Body But Divine Love methoughts continued his operations and set me all a flame with Holy Fires So that I often cryed out O Love O Love O Love And could say nothing else When I seem'd as a dying man my Friends weeping about me and every one saying I could hardly Recover my Soul beheld all this without being touched with any Sentiments of regret or tenderness for my Friends being wholly taken up with Divine Love which did so entirely unite me to the good Pleasure of God that methought I could never be seperated from it 'T was no part of my care to beg for my Life and one of my Friends proposing to send me some Reliques of Saints which had done Miraculous Cures I only thank'd him for though I have no small veneration for them yet I had no mind to make use of them for my Recovery but I would wholly put my self into the hands of Divine Love and leaving my self entirely to the conduct thereof whether for Life or Death for Time or Eternity In this extreme weakness of Body my Soul found her self Victorious and Triumphant to see that fall of Pain and her self full of Love and instead of being compassionate seem'd to me to smile at these Sufferings This was an extraordinary effect of Love that in this great weakness of Body my Soul kept up her strength and especially that the great Pains of my Head did not hinder her Interiour occupations This disposition of Love continued as long as my Sickness and I entertain'd my Friends with little consideration and I believe with too much talking fearing now to have discover'd then too much those Holy Fires that inflam'd my heart and that Self-love made me declare too freely my inward feelings My thoughts now make me suspect this defect but being inebriated with Love I said I know not what being like a drunken man that for a time forgets his Poverty and Miseries So in this disposition I forgot my Sins and extreme Frailties and cast my self into the Arms of Love that I might be united with my Well-beloved and enjoy his Reciprocal embraces I had a care to examine my conscience and confess my sins as a dying man and set in order my Temporal Affairs to pass to Eternity Finding my self not able to give much to the Poor it was a joy to me to die in Poverty and I was as well content to give
Martyrdom end both together CHAP. VIII The Interiour Crosses of the Soul in Obscurity THe Soul in the state of obscurity hardly knows her self she is so chang'd from what she was For in the state of enjoyment the Inferiour part of the Soul with all her repugnance to Sufferings is quite lost in her present Delights so that the Soul feels no pain at all nothing hinders her repose she tasts nothing but sweetness and has no Sentiments unless of Peace and Tranquility But on the contrary in the state of Interiour Suffering the supreme part of the Soul is as it were absorp'd in the repugnances and disgusts of Nature Her lights are so surrounded with Darkness that she is left in obscurity and all her joy is taken from her Although she may be very well resigned she imagines she is not for her Intellectual conformity is clouded from her But she has always before her eyes the revolts of Nature and the contradictions she finds to Gods good pleasure and in a manner believing she has no intellectual Resignation she becomes doubtful of her condition whereby she is much terrified and plung'd in a Sea of bitterness A Soul in this state of Miseries is well pleasing to God but she not knowing it remains full of Doubts and Sadness Yet if you ask this Soul if she be resigned to the will of God she will readily reply Yes and that she had rather dye than not will what pleases God However this act of Resignation does not free her from her Fears because she wills this in a manner without knowing it is her Will. Our Blessed Saviour by an admirable design of Providence to purify this Soul the more by her Sufferings hinders her reflection on this act of Conformity and Resignation so that she receives no Comfort by this Conformity being in the dark and yet is not altogether left in desolation But in this state she is pleasing to God though she be much displeased with her self It seems to me that a Soul in this state of Obscurity is more faithful to God than in abundance of Illuminations To be thus in the midst of thick Darkness and believe the Perfections of the Divinity and the Mysteries of our holy Faith as firmly as if they were clear'd up unto us by the greatest Lights and Illustrations do testify an extraordinary Fidelity in the Soul to God and an annihilation of our Judgment and a high esteem of Gods Veracity What wonder is it to see God and his Grandeurs in abundance of Light But to do this when the Soul is in Darkness this is admirable Happy are those Souls whom God conducts in this way let them not complain of their Privations seeing this is to the end they may more glorify God and best testify their Fidelity O my Soul let us be in an indifferency for any Condition for a state of Light or Darkness Benedicite lux tenebrae Domino And if Divine Providence tryes us with Obscurity let us be comforted and believe that God deals well with us esteeming this privation as a favour from heaven I confess it is a difficult matter to be as well satisfied in Darkness as in the Splendours of Paradice But if we make serious reflection that the Perfection of Christianity consists in a life of Privation and Poverty of Spirit it will be no matter of Admiration Behold S. John lives he not in a Desert depriv'd of all things his Delights are Austerities Hunger Poverty to be unknown to the world and to lose his Life by the hand of the Hang-man And which is more he was depriv'd of the Conversation of Jesus Christ One of the greatest interiour crosses is to lose the sight of our Eyes nevertheless there 's something in this Cross that makes it lovely in that it puts us in a more absolute dependance on God I have a devotion to be in the Spiritual Life what a blind man is in the Corporal He goes and comes he talks to his friends he does his little affairs he eats and drinks and all this without seeing his way or his friends or the rooms or Heaven or Earth only he gives himself up to the guidance of his Conductor 'T is true to do all these actions of our civil life in this sort is not so pleasing but they are as really done as in the Light So a Soul that is without light does the actions of a Spiritual Life not so pleasantly indeed but yet truly and perfectly seeing she performs them in the annihilation of her lights and proper satisfaction It seems to me that a Soul ought not to complain so much of the Lingrings of this our Pilgrimage where we live in the obscurity of Faith and not so earnestly desire the dissolution of this mortal body under pretence to see clearly and be united perfectly to the King of Glory For really I fear these complaints are not so innocent as we imaging seeing they may proceed from a disgust of Sufferings in a state of Privation and so we are more concerned for our own satisfaction than content with the good pleasure of God CHAP. IX Of the heaviness of interiour Crosses GOD sometimes treats a Soul in a manner as a Reprobate banishing her from his presence and depriving her of all enjoyments for more or less time as he thinks good During this state to preserve a perfect Resignation to Gods will is to practise pure virtue and those souls must be very faithful that are capable thereof The Soul in enjoyments is as if she was glorified she feels no trouble her Passions neither disturb her Peace nor darken her Lights she is full of contentment delighting in God the Creatures do not divert her from the Creator And if at any time they seem to stop her course she presently doubles her paces to hasten after her Well-beloved being a tracted with the odours of his Perfumes But in the state of Interiour Suffering the Soul becomes a Captive loaden with Irons buffeted with Temptations disturb'd with rebellious Passions lost in extravagant Thoughts so that she cannot draw near to God but like a poor Criminal lying in a dark dungeon is left to her self without any sensible Relief This is her sad conditition in this miserable Captivity without either Divine or Humane Consolations the influences of Heavenbeing withheld from her and the refreshments of Earth deny'd her crucified between them both without help from either In this state the Soul is in continual fears of offending God and falling from her Spiritual Exercises that she seeks Comforts from Creatures and is so injurious to her Divine Center from whom only she ought to receive Repose and Contentment However she may much honour God by these interiour Sufferings if she thereby does homage to the dereliction of the Son of God in his Torments on the Cross The eminency of a supernatural Life finds matter of Practice in all sorts of Sufferings interiour or exteriour but methinks the Soul can never be