Privy Council shall be one Rog. I 'll prove a Loyal Subject till I dye I 'll fight with Courage for your Majesty Infort A country Clown if Knighted may advance As far in Battle as the King of France Take here this Hat and Coat laid o're with Gold And prove a warlike Champion brisk and bold That I may be convinced that there can Be Courage in a Clown and country-man As for your Friend if he will draw but nigh With equal Honour I 'll him dignify Rich. I 'll be no Knight I 'll rather Chimneys sweep If I work hard at night I 'll soundly sleep I 'll rather be contented in my mind Than be a Knight and go beyond my Kind For Knights without a competent Estate Must learn to beg and curse their rigid Fate Infort Base Slave dost thou my Favours thus deny And all my Royal proffers vilify But that thou art so much a Fop and Clown This Sword of Honour should dispatch thee soon No prudent Prince can think in any case To gain a Rebel by an Act of Grace Hence then Impostor from my presence fly Less than the shadow of Nonentity Exit Richardus Ferdin Great Sir your Army waiteth till you come I hear the Trumpets sound and beat of Drum Trumpet soundeth and Drums beat without Infort We 'll march with all our Military Force We 'll muster every man both Foot and Horse Exeunt The SCENE Alba Aula Regalis King Romanus 's Palace Enter King Romanus with his Privy Counsellours Alberlo Cancellarius Petrus Manlius Calamus Roman You are my Privy Counsellors and I Am your bright Sun of Sovereign Majesty You are Great Britain's Wise and Watch-men now And under me the Kingdom 's safeguard too Now I intend if I possess my Crown To pull all Protestants in Albion down Then give me Counsel that is grave and wise To proseucte so brave an enterprize Petr. Command all English Hereticks to turn And such as will not I will cause to burn We cannot think their ruin to prevent Who never eat God in the Sacrament Calam. Hold base Impostor thou dost boldly lye No man can make a Blessed Deity For God's but One from all Eternity Pet. How Q W dost thou think that a Crime I have made Twenty thousand in my time And as some Creatures their own Brood do eat I have devour'd them up like other meat Calam. Blasphemous wretch depriv'd of all that 's good That dost pretend to eat such Flesh and Blood Confounder of the Kingdom and that 's worse Of Christendom the blemish stain and curse Perswade not thus thy Prince to any thing That will him quickly to subjection bring No King nor Court e're peaceable will be That is frequented by such Ghosts as thee Rom. Did we come here to hector scold or dance Or speak of things of greater importance Be silent then and be contented so Or else I 'll make you both to prison go But Calame give Councel if you can Since you are known to be a Subtile man Calam. If you would have the Church of Albion fall Grant Liberty of Conscience to all Then when Lord Bishop Jack and others fight The Pope of Rome comes in to plead his Right And then the weakest side will out of doubt Joyn with the party that can bear it out Thus all your Clergy-men like Fox and Geese Will rather driven be than lose their Fleece Pet. The Church of Albion is but near a Kin To Mother Church which they call Man of Sin Therefore it will be found an easy thing The Daughter with the Mother yet to bring In favour that the Romish Clergy may Stop from the World all means to read and pray Canc. You are mistaken Sir there are great odds 'Twixt Englands Church and Popish Wooden-Gods As in those Controversies which we know You are run down and daily find it so Cal. You speak it all for Priests can swear and vow And Hector out how much they 'll act and do But if they will accomplish their desire It must not be by Learning but by Fire Pet. You 're but the Spawn of Papists and the Brood Of Jesuits that now would suck your Blood They sent you out at first to make a Rent In Albion without Word or Sacrament Thus your Religion is a Popish Lye Grown up and swaddled in State-policy Hood-wink'd a Pilgrim of Apostacy Cal. Thou wicked Monster of the Man of Sin Compar'st with me that 's Lucify'd within Religion must to Loyalty submit And Conscience give preheminence to Wit I would discover else thy Popish Mass And then make bare the Romish Nakedness Enter Messenger in haste Mess Frighted with warlike noise and beat of Drum I from the West of Albion am come To tell your Majesty an horrid plot Deep dangerous and super-treason hot Which Duke Infortunatus in a Cell In shady Groves and Dungeons dark as Hell Hath long contriv'd and 's likely to undo The Roman Interest and your Greatness too He 's come from Belgium landed on our shore With all the Grandeur that he had before The Forces were but few which he did bring Now he 's grown Great and is proclaimed King He values not your Guards he says a pin Whilst Volunteers in Companies come in Rom. And are you sure he 's landed on our Shore Mess I saw himself ane heard his Cannons roar The Drums did beat the Trumpets made a sound As if they would the Universe confound He in a printed paper doth declare Altho' a Bastard that he 's Albion's Heir And speaketh more disgracefully of you Concerning Subdus and Fraternus too Rom. I kick'd the Bastard once quite out of doors Made him as low as other Sons of VVhores Now he 's return'd to pull his Unkle down To wrestle with me once more for the Crown I value not the Venom of his Gall But hope in time to make the Traitour fall Alb. How can he term himself the lawful Heir Of Albion whilst his Father did declare Before his Death that he had never been Wedded to any but his present Queen Alb. Great Sir then grant me Liberty to go T' oppose his Force and prove his mortal Foe Rom. When Albion once before was in distress Your Father did restore its Happiness Now I 'll intrust his Son to save that Crown From him who strives t' Eclipse and pull it down Take all my Foot-guard-Forces great and small Along with you and be their General Confine the swelling multitude till I In Horse and Foot afford you more supply I 'll send you Gallus Thorpius and Stirk And these three Champions will do the work VVith them I 'll send ten thousand Men in arms To fright the Rebels with their fresh Alarms Alber. Great Sir I 'll prove Magnanimous and true And Loyal as my Father was to you If kill'd I 'll bid your Majesty adieu Exit Alberlo Enter Papissa in Passion Pap. Infortunatus now return'd again I take both Name and Person in disdain Shall he a
Council and with them Advise A Council that 's both Godly Grave and Wise To them propose whatever you think fit And then let them Debate and Judge of it Delay no more Delays are ever curst And Long-Bill'd-Birds do always sing the worst Infor. I 'll take Advice of those who 're Good and True And Ferdinando I put Trust in you Ferd. Let me a Cuckold be my Wife turn Whore Let me ne'er Prosper as I 've heretofore Let me turn Coward and be bath'd in Sin Kiss my own Sisters when my Wife lies in If I on any terms whatever do Betray my Trust or e'er prove False to you Exeunt Omnes The SCENE King Romanus his Palace Enter Romanus and Petrus Impostor Rom. All my designs I cunningly have wrought This stubborn Nation to subjection brought I taught my Foes e're they were sick to dye Now I 'll profess the Art of Monarchy I 'll make Great Albion's Neck my Yoke to bear Who will not love me I 'll compel to fear I 'll keep no word with Hereticks till I O'rethrow their Church and set up Popery And all my trembling Subjects shall obey Without enquiring what I do or say Pet. His Holiness of Rome still influence Your undertakings and be your defence We 'll sacrifice our Gods and shall not fail To use all means to make the Church prevail Which I am sure can never well be done Unless you do contrive to get a Son This will secure your Kingdoms and your Crown And be a means to pull Usurpers down Rom. Come work this Miracle I love the thing To be the Father of a Popish King If thou 'lt do this I 'll certainly restore Rome's Revenues which we kept back before I 'll make my best and greatest Subjects go To Rome and kiss his Holiness's Toe Pet. Great Sir if you the Roman Church restore And make her sound as she was once before And all those wicked Hereticks but burn Who to the Romish Faith refuse to turn We 'll send you Relicks Pardons Holy Beads Paul's Teeth a Bushel two of Peter's Heads Your venial Sins Transgressions great and small Past Present and to come We 'll Pardon all And when you 're dead for Songs you shall not want We 'll canonize you for a Holy Saint And all who turn to Popery shall hove Power To Drink and Swear to Murder Steal and Whore Rom. The Devil 's in that Man that would ask for more Enter Papissa Pap. What Plots of Wit and Stratagems of War In Brains quite void of Sence do you prepare I am Great Albion's stately head and can Out-wit the Projects of an Ancient Man Without your Aid I quickly will pull down All Hereticks before my Royal Crown My Subjects I will to Subjection bring I 'm their whole Queen and will be half their King I'il wear the Royal Breeches and I 'll make Throweth by her Gown and sheweth a Pair of Scarlet Breeches All Protestants to tremble and to quake And if Romanus you offended be I 'll snatch the Sword and rule the Monarchy The Roman Church in Albion I 'll advance I 'll have but one Religion as in France I 'll tame my stubborn Subjects till they know The flaming fury of a Popish Foe Rom. Hold hold Papissa for I can't allow To bear the Sword and wear the Breeches too You would unking and pull me from my Throne But you had best make haste and get you gone Pap. How gone I hitherto my ground have stood I 'm come of more than Royal Holy Blood My Unkle is the lofty Pope of Rome That doth command all Kings in Christendom Then by our Lady and the Popes Great Toe She pulleth him by the Cravat and Perriwig You put me in a rage by saying so Rom. How Confidence This cannot be endur'd Call in the Guards and let her be secur'd Enter Cancellarius Canc. Great Madam I 'm asham'd to see such actions Which presage more and greater Court-distractions Pap. A King 's but like another Man to me Should he live Fopp I will an Empress be Rom. Was ever King Infortunate like me Who Married one below my Pedegree That now insults and hectors as you see Ex. Omnes The SCENE Infortunatus 's Chamber Enter Infortunatus Belgicus Ferdinando Flavius and Ingenioso Infor. The Members of my Council are but few Yet hope they 're Worthy Valiant Wise and True You know my Father 's lately dead and gone And now Romanus doth possess his Throne He was the Man that did undo us all Who Banish'd me and did contrive my Fall But I 'm resolv'd with all the speed I can To go for Albion and list every Man That will prove Faithful to my Cause and me And set oppressed wretched Albion free Yet I would know your mind e're we go hence In a design of so great consequence Belg. Brave Sir a clearer case was never known Than for a Prince to plead to have his own We 'll hast to Sea both Men and Arms prepare Your cause is just if you be Lawful Heir You shall have all the aid I can afford I 'll be the first Man that shall go on Board Ferd. There 's no necessity at such a time To clear our cause of any forged Crime Or to excuse our selves of Treason since Romanus ever was a Popish Prince Tho' Timists should be guilty and refuse Assistance to our Forces let them choose Yet no true Protestants can aid deny Unless Self-Interest give their Souls the lye Then rouse Brave Prince assure your self that we In all designs victorious will be The great Temptations that we do endure May drive us to so desperate a Cure We 're Banish'd Broke of all our Friends depriv'd Of Wives and Children too And now arriv'd In a strange Country of another Tongue E're we 'll live so our Foes shall eat their dung in great Passion We 'll unthrone Kings the Popish Priests o'rethrow And make the Pope himself subjection know We 'll drown Candaula in a Scarlet Flood I 'll dy my Sword in Babylonian Blood I long until I land on Albion's Shore To raise a Tempest of Blood Wounds and Gore Flav. Doubt not your success but put all your trust In Providence and in a Cause so just I 'll preach and pray the Heavens to influence Your Expedition and be your defence I will stir up all Protestants to fight For you who strives to keep them in their right I 'll raise my voice above the beat of Drum And whether Men will or not I 'll make them come Ingen. Hold Gentlemen I am not of your mind You waste your courage in a cloud of Wind. Romanus now is Albion's great defence Who covers all his projects with Pretence And Tongues of popish Princes are set out With guilded words but poyson'd at the Root His Subjects will believe him for a while And all accost him with a grateful Smile But e're a year go round they 'll find that he Will prove perfidious false like Popery Then
to the Door where he leaveth her and returneth Enter three Constables with several Prisoners chain'd Sir Roger in a torn Red Coat walking foremost with two women and the Hang-man following after with his Ropes Canc. Rebels advance receive your final doom For kicking at the Pope and Church of Rome And striving to depose your lawful King And these three Nations to confusion bring Come hang them up we have no need to stay To waste our time in judging such as they Unto the Kings good Health hang up a score And to the Queens promote a hundred more Maid Did you not take three hundred pounds to save My Sweet-hearts life and keep him from his Grave Caneell I mind no promises come hang them all We 'll save Expence make but one Funeral But since sair Maid you would preserve his life In hopes to be the young mans wedded Wife When dead you shall receive at my command Of his that which you love best in your hand You Executioner be sure so do Since I have laid my strict commands on you Maid Is this the Judge by King Romanus sent To do the Nation justice and prevent All Insurrections and again restore And mend the breach as it hath been before May Justice seize such Judges for he lyes That calls him just or good or grave or wise Kisseth her Sweet-heart in Chains and Exit weeping Cancell Talk what you will till you your self confound I 'll bear a little for three hundred pound Sir Roger. I am a Knight of Honour and deny With this mad Rabble in a Rope to dye Come try me first and after pass my doom And do not hang me for the Cause of Rome Could I come at him I th' old Rogue would kill And should I longer live oppose him still Cancell You are a ragged Knight of Rogues the worst We 'll honour you by hanging you up first You 're obstinate mischievous in your mind And have some wicked enterprize design'd We must dispatch you soon with all the Crew Who suddenly shall bid the World adieu Sir Rog. Shall we not have some time before we dye To fit our selves for long Eternity Canc. No not one Minute more for dye you shall Now instantly and none prevent your fall Come hang them up Const What shall be done to these two Women here They say they 're guiltless and from Treason clear Canc. I say they 're guilty whores already dead This shall be burnt and that shall lose her Head Wom. I gave a Man whom I took for a Saint Money to buy those things which he did want Who prov'd on Tryal to be one of those Whom you repute to be your Mortal Foes And this is all my Crime for which I must Be burnt to ashes and dissolv'd in dust Yet rather suffer Death for Charity Than to a Saint a Widows mite deny 2 Wom. I lodg'd two Strangers in my House all night And am convinc'd that it was just and right You term them Rogues and Rebels of the West Who did the Kingdom Church and State molest What 's that to me I question'd not at all Their Business my Kindness was so small Now innocent to please you I must dye Whilst all my crime is Hospitality Canc. I have no patience nor can I delay Justice to hear what tattling Traytors say Hang up Sir Roger first that I may see Three Kingdoms from his Treachery set free And after him the common crew shall dye Within the twinkling of the Hangmans eye As for these women after all the Males Are put to Death then they must low their Sails Make haste I 'll to Romanus drink a Cup Whilst these base Rebels are a hanging up The Constables carry the Prisoners under the Hangings whence a Gibbet turneth out like a crane or yards Arm with a great many men Hanging on 't Enter Widows mourning and Orphans crying Canc. This prospect doth rejoyce my Soul and I Am overjoy'd to see those Rebels dye I hope that henceforth we shall live at ease Only our Lusts and Appetites to please Widows Sad sight to see our Husbands and our Sons Hang'd up to please a crew of Friers and of Nuns Hell take them all and you among the rest Pointeth at Canc. You 're all so bad that none can know the best May King Romanus from his Kingdom fly The Gibbet turneth in again and Exeunt omnes And end his Life within a Monastry ACT V. The SCENE Alba Aula Regalis Enter Papissa big Belly'd convey'd by Povicena and Petrus Impostor Papissa THE Tempest of my Fury is o'repast And now my Rage is quenched by this last Blast of Revenge which hath dispers'd the Cloud Of my Confusion which fell out in Blood Wherein I swim yet do not fear to sink More pleas'd with such a Sea than Meat and Drink Povi Came think no more of Rebels but of things Concerning Princes Emperours and Kings The time draws nigh wherein you must prepare To furnish Albion with a Lawful Heir Pap. I 've bore this Pillow six months on my Womb And must do so for three Months yet to come And since my Time of Labour doth draw nigh I must augment and set the Pillow high Rip up the Prince and put some Cotton in He will not cry altho you prick his Skin Pulleth the Pillow from her Womb and giveth it to the Lady who stuffeth it with a pound of Cotton Pointing at Petrus Call in the Midwife and Petrona too I 'll take advice of them how I shall do Pov. This greasy Pillow is a nasty thing It ne're will be a good Prince nor a King Pap. Leave off to jest 't is not a fitting time Of that which known would prove a deadly crime Enter Midwife Petrona big with Child and Petrus Impostor Pap. You know Petrona that I do design To add an Heir unto the Royal line Which must be done by Hocus means when I Shall counterfeit a Labour and Out-cry You must be there and privately convey Your child to me if that it be a Boy When you are brought to Bed and till you be I 'll grunt and groan that none may question me You are of my Religion you know how That this will all the Hereticks o'rethrow That live in Albun For their Prince shall be Prought up at Rome and train'd in Popery Now what shall I give for your Child if it Should prove a Boy and all my projects hit Pet. Five thousand pound the matter will decide My Child 's a Boy it lyes in the right side Pap. Five thousand pound to make your Son a King This is a more than ordinary thing But will not stand what you have said to do If to a constant secrecy you 'll vow Petron. I by our Lady's Girdle and her Garter Rather than speak one word will dye a Martyr Petrus That will not do but whispering to prevent On what you say you's take the Sacrament Papissa Let it be so for then we 'll have some ground