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A55410 Poor Robins Character of France, or, France painted to the life in a brief dialogue of the description of that nation, their manners, customs, complements, language, discourse &c. : as also, an exact character of the city of Paris, of their gentry, peasants, women &c. / by Poor Robin ... Poor Robin.; Winstanley, William, 1628?-1698. 1666 (1666) Wing P2878; ESTC R8615 21,984 32

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wid his Tord cut dem off at one blow English-man Was not St. George of England than a brave man to do so worthy an Act French-man Begar he was de brave Shampion in all de varle but de France man he kill de burn Dragon but de Seignior Amadis de Gaule be kill de Shyant one twa tre four story high begar den he was brave fellow let me see den dere was Monsieur le Charlemaigne de Roy Pepin Monsieur Oliver Monsieur Rowland begar de France man be de creat killer of de Shyants in all de varle English-man Indeed no Nation in the wo●ld is greater killers of Gyants and multitudes of people than the French but how why in Romances wherein there is little danger in fighting but for real feats of Arms alas how far short do they fall in the performance How often have they been beaten by the English with the greatest disadvantage almost that might be witness Poicters Crescy and Agen-Court Battels wherein their Armies exceeded ours almost ten to one nay have we not taken their Kingdom from them the English King Crowned King of France in France where was their Valour then Why they were forced to have recourse to a Witch one Joan of Arc when France lay as it were expiring out her latest breath How were they forced to pretend a Message to her from God to breathe new courage into the hearts of their fanting Soldiers and yet when they had wrought all these Forgeries it was not so much their Courage as our own Divisions that caused the English expulsion out of France French-man Begar though me ha skill to Fidele me ha no skill in de History me can no tell if de speak true but me mush tink dis me mush give looser leave to speak English-man Nay Monsieur if you are up with your Proverbs I must also give you one which though but a homely one yet sets out the three Nations French English and the Spaniards to the life The French man is compared to a Flea quickly skipping into a Countrey and as quickly skipping out their Valor being like a blaze of fire makes of a sudden a great show but is quickly extinguished The English are like a Lowse slowly mastering a place and as slowly driven out again The Spaniard like to a Crab fish● hardly gaining any thing but where he enters seldom or neve● again removed French-man Begar me leeke dis Proverb well enough of de men vat is de Pr●●verb of de weemen English-man They say that to the making up of an absolute Woman the●● is required the parts of a Dutch woman from the Girdle downwards the parts of a French woman from the Girdle up to the Neck over which must be placed an English Face for the greater perfection of all the rest for if you come to compare the French Beauries with the English alas they are not to be named the same day with them their Faces being as bad a punishment to the Eyes as their Discourse is a torment to the Eares And herein may the English glory that they have the fairest Women the goodliest Horses and the best breed of Dogs in all the whole world To which we may adde that as England is said to be A Paradise for women by reason of their Priviledges so it may be said to be A Paradise of women by reason o● their un-marchable Perfections French-man Begar de France woman be de hansom woman vor all dat English-man For your French women as their shoulders and backs are so broad that they hold no proportion with their middles so are they of a very black hair and swarthy complexion and though the Poets do commend Leda for he● black hair as in that Verse of Ovids Leda fuit nigris conspicienda comis yet that blackness reached onely to a kinde of dark brown not so fearful as this of the French women who are generally blacker th●n a gracious loveliness can admit And though black hair do give a lustre to a beautiful Face as a shadow doth to a Picture or a Sable bearing to a Field a●gent yet what are the French womens Faces concerned in that which are so far from that thing called Beauty that when they are adorned with black Patches they look like rusty Gammons of Bacon stuck with Cloves French man Me can no shuse but confess me had rader eat of de Gammon of Baoon dan kiss de hansom woman in all de v●rle English-man Now you talk of kissing I cannot but much admire that humor of the French women who though as I said before they are so light and wanton in their discourse and gestures yet are so coy of their Lips that they will not admit of a kiss accounting that woman that is kissed more than half whored be her deportment other wayes never so civil Now though I must confess I like this their custom very well it sparing me many an unsavory piece of mannerliness when I was amongst them yet it was to me a kinde of a strange Riddle that they should confine all immodesty and lasciviousness to a harmless kiss But as it is said of the Italian That he will rather murther a man in private than speak ill of him openly so it may be thought of these Damosels that they will not refuse a mans bed in private although they deny to kiss him openly French-man Begar de tell lye de France Madam be de Civil Madam dat lives in de whole varle English-man Yes Monsieur I shall tell you of a piece of Civility of one of your Madams as I was informed by an Acquaintance of mine who was an Eye-witness to it That being at a Tilting a Roguish Boy was peeking under a Ladies Coats a Courtier seeing it went about to remove him from that sawcy action but when her Ladyship perceived his intention she hindred him with this Complement Laisse Monsieur laisse les yeux ne sont pas larrons The boys eyes would steal nothing away Certainly those who are so w●nton in their discourse and actions abroad will not stick out of play when Night and the Curtains may conceal it French-man Par ma foy vis is no sush ting de Frensh be a no soe bad dey make more conscience den so English-man I will not deny but there may be some of them very conscientious but generally they are most irreverent and irreligious great Scoffers yea in matters of Religion and at those times when they should be most solid witness that Gallant who lying on his Death-bed when he had the Hoast so they call the Sacrament of the Lords Supper brought to him by a Lubberly Priest he said That Christ came to him as he went into Jerusalem riding upon an Ass Another of them being to receive the Sacrament when the Priest had with many words perswaded him that the Bread and Wine was the real Body and Blood of Christ he refused to taste of it because it was then Fryday And
I was informed by a Gentleman that at a Mass in the Cordeliers Church in Paris he saw two French Papists when the most sacred Mystery of their Faith was celebrating break out into such a blasphemous and atheistical laughter that even an Ethnick would have blushed to have heard it Can we then think these men to be religious who make a scoff at the Divine Mysteries of our Salvation Certainly had a Lutheran done this some French hot-head or other would have sent them laughing to Pluto French-man Dat is none good to do soe me had rather goe to dine den to die to feede den to feight dere is no sush haste to goe to de Teiffel he vill have dem soone enough me varrant ye Me vill be glad to live so long as de old woman of Parry English-man I remember dat old woman very well who was of such an age that it is questionable whether she were ever young or no for but that I have read the Scriptures otherwise I should have been apt to have believed that she was one of the first Pieces of the Creation and that by some mischance or other she had scaped the Flood Our Countrey-man Tom. Parr the Salopian Wonder was but an Infant to her at the least you could not but have imagined her one of the Reliques of the first Age after the building of Babel several Ages before the birth of the Wandring Jew her face was for all the world like unto that of Sibylla Erythrea in an old Print or like that of Solomons two Harlets in the Painted Cloth or like those Statuas on the out-side of Westminster Abbey which for these six hundred years have been exposed to winde and weather It is doubtful whether our Arch Poet Ed. Spenser when he writ his Poem of The Ruines of Time did not purposely intend it of her sure I am it is very appliable in the Title Now by reason that all her Teeth were out her Tongue was boundless and without ceasing would move for six and twenty hours togethet the fastidious pratler which Horace mentioneth in his Ninth Satyr was but a Poisne to her Now whether she be living still or no I know not but if she once come to be speechless I suppose she is then past all recovery French-man Begar she was creat pratler indeed and so me tink we be derefore me now make haste vor my belly de chime Noon and me mush make haste vor fe●r of de pocky Shargeant English-man Well Monsieur onely one word before you go and then farewell There is an old Proverb that the Emperor of Germany is Rex Regom the King of Spain is Rex Hominem the King of France Rex Asinorum and the King of England Rex Diabalorum The Emperor of Germany is called Rex Regem in respect of having so many free Princes under him who have power of themselves to Coyn Money raise Soldiers and other Immunities consenant to Regal Authority The King of Spain Rex Hominem for that his Subjects are so constant and faithful in their Allegiance not questioning what the Prince does but obeying because he so commands it The King of France is called Rex Asinorum because of the Subjects patient bearing of those insupportable Taxes which he sucks out of their sweat and blood Pride in matters of Sumptuousness and the Civil Wars which lasted a long time in that Countrey having occasioned most of the Crown Lands to have been sold or mortgaged so that the Subject is now onely the Revenue of the Crown The Kings hand lying so heavy upon them that it hath almost thrust them into an Egyptian bondage To recite all those Impositions which this miserable people are afflicted withal were almost as wretched as the payment of them I shall briefly instance in some few and first Gabelle de Sel or Gabel on Salt which is an Imposition that no man in the Kingdom some few Countries excepted can eat any Salt but he must buy it of the King and at his price but this is not all for though through poverty many of them could be contented to eat meat when they can get it without Salt yet are they forced to take such a quantity of it or howsoever they will have of them so much money This Imposition is exacted with such unconscionable rigour that it is thought to be worth unto the King 3000000 of Crowns yearly Next is the Taillon a heavy burthen which lies almost altogether upon the poor Peasant who are a people of any other the most unfortunate paying such infinite Rents to their Lords and such innumerable Taxes to the King that all their care and extream labour is onely sufficient to pay their Duties and keep them from the extremities of cold and famine This Imposition was at first levyed by way of Extraordinary Subsidy and lay alike heavy upon all but now it is confined onely to the Peasant the greater Towns the Officers of the Kings House the Officers of War the President Councellors and Officers of the Courts of Parliament the Nobility the Clergy and the Scholars of the University being freed from it Divers Imposts have they besides as the Soll upon the Liure which is the twentieth penny of all things bought or sold onely Corn and Sallets excepted Imposts upon Wine double and treble and after all this the poor Vintner forced to pay the 8th penny of that Wine which he selleth to the King Then is there besides Imposts on all sorts of Fruits Provisions Wares and Merchandize to which we may adde the base and corrupt money in it being for the most part made of Tin and Brass Hardly shall you see a Piece of Gold of the French stamp scarce any but what comes out of Spain which are very ill proportioned and which one resembles to a French Cheese being neither long nor square nor round nor thick nor thin nor great nor little nor any one of these but yet all and yet none of them These Circumstances considered we may the clearer see our own felicities which to express in a word is to say onely this That the English Subject is in no circumstance a French man though we are so blinde as herein not to see our own happiness but by our often Rebellions have given occasion to that Apellation that the King of England is Rex Diabalorum FINIS