realiter really and that upon that account we give adoration Doctor Cross Dean of Norwich in a Sermon at Yarmouth said That it had been better that the Gospel had not been Preached these twenty Years past for now the People had so much knowledge that when the Minister doth reprove them or endeavour to persuade them they are presently able to Convince him by Scripture which is not so set for Lay People Doctor Creâ—on Dean of Wells that Court-drolling Preacher preaching at White Hall out of this Text Shew us a Sign said That it was not the Papists that burned London at which words he was struck dumb and as it 's conceived choaked with a Lie in his throat and could not speak for a time The Lord in that as it were shewed a sign from Heaven Wife these Pillars are enough to make the Axletree crack we 'll drive away and endeavour to make another load The Bishop of Litchfield and Coventry being a most notorious Swearer one in Coventry came to an intelligent man to know whether he might not indict the Bishop for swearing How many Oaths did he swear said his Friend to him Threescore In what time was it Was it within the compass of three weeks said his Friend He answered It was was he ever convicted before a Justice of Peace said his Friend He answered 〈…〉 The other answered Then you cannot There came certain Feoffees who were intrested for a School at Nun-Eaton in Warwickshire where the Bishop was onely to have the trial of the Schoolmaster whether he were a sufficient Scholar but he would have the full power to place the Schoolmaster and so quarrels with them Said the Bishop to one of them Hadst thou a hand in placing this man here I had said the man A plague of God on the heart of thee said the Bishop and swore so fast that one blind man who was a Feoffee did desire him that brought him in to lead him out again For said he the Bishop dorth swear so fast I am affraid that the House will fall upon my head Yet such is his commendation that if at any time be swear by his Faith and Troth as commonly he doth that he will not give a poor man or woman a peny he will keep his word The said Bishop preaching against Covetousness at Tamworth in Warwickshire although as covetous a fellow as the Country affords said to his Hearers Ye are covetous and will be covetous and so you will remain or words to this effect concluding with this wish The Devil scald you Being also on a certain time requested to preach for one of his fellow-Schollars in Oxford he swore by his faith and troth he could not spit Sermons So that we see what is bred in the Bone will never out of the Flesh Wife did not our Bishop say once in his Sermon We are your Spiritual Fathers These are some of them Doctor Pearce Bishop of Bath and Wells a most notorious Swearer coming into a Barbers shop in London where there sate one Makerness who when he saw the Bishop rose up to give him the place Dost thou know me said the Bishop Yea said Makerness you are my Lord Bishop of Bath and Wells What 's thy Name said the Bishop He answered My Name is Makerness Gods wounds swore the Bishop thou art a Pillar of the Church This hath been printed already by another Author The same Bishop long since said He thanked God he had not left one Lecture standing in all his Diocess The Mayor of Wells not long since walking abroad on the Lords Day went to the Bishop part of the Town being in the Bishops Jurisdiction or Liberty and desired the favour of him that he might have his good will to suppress the disorders that were there committed Go your ways for a Jackanapes with a Pox to you said the Bishop who put that into your head Doctor Fafield of Berkin preached That whatsoever the King commanded the People were bound to obey though it were a sin against God At another time not long after he went up into the Pulpit to preach but could not speak a word and so came down again Which was looked upon as the hand of God upon him for what he had formerly delivered Doctor Reeve Dean of Windsor being at the three Bibles in Pauls Church-yard swore by him that made him that he had done what he could about the delivering of such a Petition and by Gods wounds he would do what he could again Several persons and one amongst others who was a Merchant at Lime told me that at Bridport alias Beauport a mile from Lime the Parson was catechising some of the young People and among the rest a Maid and asked her this question What will be the punishment of Hedge-Breakers and Hedge-Stealers it 's conceived his had been broken To which the Maid answered Hell-fire I think God damn me said the Priest thou hast more grace than all the Parish besides Doctor Sherborn Prebend of Hereford his man having brought his Horse to a place called The Cabadge Lane in Hereford cursed his man because his Horse looked no better saying A plague of God on the heart of thee how doth my Horse look The said Doctor being sent for by an Alderman of the City to assist him in the examination of one Edward Bourn a Quaker and another of his Judgement he convinced the said Edward Bourn by two knocking arguments for when Edward Bourn spake to him in the language of Thee and Thou he gave him two good boxes on the ear which the poor man was not able to resist A very learned Confutation Doctor James Buck sometime Parson of Stradbrook in the County of Suffolk but before the burning of the City of Garlick Hill and Gregories near Pauls and now Preacher at the Temple formerly delivered as followeth That the Pope is head of the Church and Head of the Spiritualty and that there would never be any Conformity in the Church until a Patriarch should be above a Bishop a Bishop above a Priest a Priest above a Deacon and the Bishop of Rome above them all And that This is my Body in the Sacrament of the Lords Supper is to be understood in a literal sence and that there is a Transmutation of the Bread into the Body and Blood of Christ as in John 2. the substance of Water is turned into Wine And that the words Do this are spoken to the Priest to create the Body and Blood of our Lord affirming the Priest to have power to create the Body and Blood of Christ and that it is lawful to invocate Saints and Angels That Infants dying after Baptism become Intercessors for their Parents and that Auricular Confession to a Priest is absolutely necessary once a year or at least once in a mans life And that the Church of Rome is as honourable a Church as any is in the world And that he useth as low obeysance at the mentioning of
was buried with blood This Priest was formerly ejected for scandal and one thing among others was this That sitting in an Alehouse there was a Health began at which he threw his hat in the fire and burned it at the second Health off went another garment at the third Health another until he had left nothing but his shirt One thing by the way is very observable which is That there is not any man that was formerly vomited out for scandal were it ever so notorious in Doctrine or Life but has been since lick'd up again The Priest of Conford near the Isle of Purbeck in Dorcetshire having been at Pool market was so drunk that he fell into a Ditch where he lay all night and having some Bottles of strong-water in his pocket after he had slept a little he fell to work with them and so kept himself so drunk that on the morrow about two of the clock one coming that way called to him and asked him what he did there He answered That he was very busie in his study A Priest dwelling near the Lord Paulets in the County of Wilts being asleep in the Pew or Pulpit and being awakened by one to begin his Sermon swore a fearful Oath That not a man of my Lord Paulets should pay a peny there Mr. Forby sometime of Hindon in the County of Wilts coming to a market Town in the same County and being somewhat elevated began to scrape acquaintance with a Gentleman Do you know me said the Gentleman I cannot remember you but now I call you to mind added the Gentleman I saw you with two or three more of your Brethren lie drunk in Sir James Thinn's Pigscoat when the King was there Jarvis Smith of Brinsop Mansel and Wormsly in Herefordshire Wormsly it 's confess'd is too little to buy Ale the other two Livings considering what a good stomack he hath is little enough for his Neighbours say he will eat as much as two or three men And a very merry Preacher he is for he will tell his Hearers such stories in the Pulpit as will make himself break out into great laughter And as he is merry in the Pulpit so he is as crabbed a Knave when he is out for there are but few of his Parishioners that are in a capacity to fight but he hath been together by the ears withall when he hath met with a little angry Ale An old man leaning his head against the Pulpit being hard of hearing he bid him lean off the Pulpit but the man being hard of hearing understood him not Whereupon the Priest gave him a Box on the Ear and away went the man out of the Kirk One time preaching a Sermon at a funeral out of these words All is but vanity and using some light expressions therein whereat some young men fell a laughing O you Cakoons said he you have so filled your bellies with brown Bread and Bacon that the Word cannot enter into you A Gentleman who came into the Church a little before with his Hawk upon his fist his Spaniels hunting about the seats and his Horses tied in the Church-yard laughed at his silly carriage which when the Priest saw he said Hood up your Kites and couple up your Curs and rid off your Jades for all is but vanity At another time being in the Pulpit John said he to his Clark go to John Hands's he hath the best Ale in the Town and bid him send me a pot of the best Ale he hath which was accordingly done and so having drunk up his Ale in the pulpit he fell to his preachment again One of the most sufficient men in his Parish told me that he met him coming out of an Alehouse in his stockings without his shooes What 's the matter Mr. Smith said he that you are without your shooes The Priest fell a villifying his Neighbours saying They kept him so bare of money that he was fain to leave his shooes behind him as a pawn for Ale Come said his Friend go back with me and I 'll redeem your shooes and so he did Mr. Boam of Harding three miles from Henly upon Thames in his Sermon said That the Name of God was not used in the English Tongue until Henry the VIII's time and then not by any but by the Priests when the Service was in Latin But now men can go and run into corners and commonly in their Meetings use the Name of God and say O God and O Lord at which he held up his hands and lift up his eyes in admiration with O Jesu and further said That Paul was superfluous in his Epistles concluding them with The Grace of our Lord Jesus c. But Paul said he had his infirmities we must allow Paul his Grain He hath also said He did not care to preach to those that were born in the times of Rebellion And if he sees any of the Boys of Henley come to his Kirk he will bid them go home again and look Birds-Nests A certain priest with his Cu Rat near Taunton-Dean in Somersetshire sat up until twelve a Clock at night drinking and gaming and on the morrow as he was preaching and pulling out his Handkerchief to wipe his face he pulled out a Pack of Cards which scattered upon his Neighbours heads The Parson of Welch Bicknor and Vicar of Walford in Herefordshire by name Adams being led home in the evening from Ross market by two of his loving Neighbours who were his Supporters and seeing a Glow-worm near or in the bottom of a hedge and having a pipe of Tobacco fill'd pull'd it out kneeled down and went to light his pipe of Tobacco saying Fire I hope fire I hope The Parson of Steventon in Hampshire was so drunk at the Visitation that in Sermon time he muttered out some words as he sate in the seat and rising to come out of the seat fell down in the Alley Wife I prethee tell the story about Confin Kate I had almost forgot it till you put me in mind of it the other day VVife Husband I remember it well it was when we were at Bristol together they were very substantial men who told us of it and assured us of the truth of it A Bishops Granchild who was either a Parsonor Vicar having a Maid Servant a very civil young woman and somewhat Fanatick he and his wife combine how they might defame or rather undo her wherefore they begin to speak how ere long their Cousin Kate would come to see how they aid and would often be talking in the Maids hearing of their Cousin Kate AT last Cousin Kate comes which was a very smooth young man in a Gentlewomans habit and very welcome was Cousin Kate when night drew on the Maid enquired where Cousin Kate should lie Lay on a clean pair of sheets on your bed said her Mistriss we will make bold with Cousin Kate. To bed they went and after some word which the Priest should give or
she cried out and said that her Husband was robbed and killed and so raised the Town and many of the Neighbourhood went to go look after him some with Lanthorns and some with Weapons but by that time they got to the Towns end they met the Tanner with the Parson upon his back but being tired with carrying such a load he was fain to leave him at a little house at the farther end of the Town because none else of the Neighbourhood would take any pity or be at any pains to carry him home But the Parson thinking to cover all got up into the Box the next day but could scarce hold up his head nor would he go to the Mayors House I went through a Village in Somersetshire where there was a Priest whose Name was Franklin lay drunk in open view and a merry fellow passing by held up his hat and sang O hone O hone Franklin is dead and gone A Parson in Essex and his Curate sat a drinking all night on the Saturday night and the next morning the Clerk came to the Curate to Read Prayers but he being very drunk and having not slept took a Ladle in his hand out of the Kitchin and run into the Church with it and going into the Reading Pew cried to the people Must you have some Porrage Come I 'll give you some Porrage Mr. Smith Vicar of Montacute in Somersetshire went to Yeovil on a Friday being market-day and there being drunk attempted to ride home and going the upper way towards Odeomb fell off his horse and lay as dead but some Country people coming by thought it had been a man murthered and durst not come so near as to touch him till they had gone to the Town to call more Witnesses whereupon many people coming in found it to be Parson Smith and had him down to Yeovil again where he lay at the Ship that night and the next morning he was yet so unsettled in his head that he rides to Stoke Cross half a mile beyond Montacute and then at last with much ado got home It is notoriously known That the Grand Jury in Somersetshire presented the whole Clergy of that County at which Judge Keeling was angry there being no particular instance whereupon the Foreman of the Grand Jury instanced in the Parson of his own Parish who coming to his house drunk affirmed the Pigeons that were then at the fire to be Geese The present Parson of Naring-near Epping in Essex is notoriously known to be a frequent Drunkard having the conveniency of an Alehouse in his Churchyard where he hath spent so much with one Chapman a Farmer hard by that the Farmer what with neglect of business loss of time and expence of money is broke and undone Yet he put several of his honest Neighbours into the Bishops Court and prosecuted them there where being demanded why they went not to the Communion They answered they could not receive it at the hands of such a wicked man Being required then to exhibit Articles they did but the man that received them was quickly turned out and his Successor required them to retain a Proctor to put their Articles in Latin c. Whereupon the country-men being fed with nothing but delays and charges gave it over and so that Parson drinks still One Mr. Fletcher Parson of Bow near London being in an Alehouse very drunk and swearing sufficiently a Brewer came in there to receive money for Ale after greeting one another says Mr. Fletcher Sir Why do you not come and hear me The Brewer promised him he would Faith says Fletcher I 'll preach you a good Sermon The Brewer according to his promise goes and finds the Parson like an Owl in an Ivy-Bush A while after Fletcher meets the said Brewer again in an Alehouse and said to him Sir you promised to come and hear me Why says the Brewer so I did but I could scarce see you you were so bedect with Holly and Ivy. Aye says the Parson you may see what a blessed Reformation I have brought them to The said Parson loves his drink so well that if any of his Comrades do but come into the Church whilst he is preaching and cry Hem and hold up their finger to him he presently turns them off and goes to them to the Tavern which is just over against the Church Febr. 25. 1667. Matthew Leeson a Seaman going with his Wife from White Chappel to Wapping found in Ratcliff-Highway over-against old Gravel Lane one Mr. Peacock the Priest of the New Chappel at Ratcliff tumbled into the Cart-Rut and after he had gotten him up he swore by God he was down But whether the wet within or without made him reel as he went is left to the Judgement of the Learned Bishops The Priest of Cropthorn by name Whitefoot two miles from Evesham in Worcester shire was so drunk at Evesham that the Mayor set him in the stocks twice in that condition Welfare my Countryman for his courage I shall prefer him before the Mayor of Bath who when there was a bafe Priest taken in a shameful manner in the company of Whores where he had spent a night brought before him he turn'd him up for fear of the Bishops displeasure because for sooth he was a Clergy-man Parson Clark of Bromyard in Herefordshire ten miles from Worcester having two Wives and two Livings ran away from them all and as I heard left his Neighbours 200 l. to pay for him And lest he should come into another Country and change his Name and so cozen any other woman or man take this brief description of him He is a fat corpulent man pretty tall his hair inclined to red or yellow especiall his face and aged about fifty Parson Fly of Hunslow was so drunk at the Kirsning of a Child that when they gave the Child one name he kirsned it by another and presently fell down upon his breech in the place Yet he agreeth lovingly with his wife for he will get in one end of the Chimney-corner and she in another and drink Alestifly The Parson of Sawford two miles from Chipping-Norton in Oxfordshire was so drunk that he fell off his Horse and mistaking the Horses Head got up again with his face toward the Horses Tayl and so down he fell again The Parson of Edmonton in the County of Middlesex was so drunk that when he came to bury a dead Corps he read that which was appointed to be said at the Churching of a Woman instead of what was to be read at a Burial A Butcher being present told him that he was mistaken and that he was burying of a dead man You Flabberchops said the Priest I know what I have to do Call me Flabberchops again said the Butcher and I 'll give you a knock on the pate Said the Priest Thou art a Flabberchops With that the Butcher took him a knock on the pate and made the blood run about his ears and so the man